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Turakii #1 Lavasurfer

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Blog Entries posted by Turakii #1 Lavasurfer

  1. Turakii #1 Lavasurfer
    When you reach the age of 21, something magical happens.
     
    It's not the first time something magical has happened. Apparently, on your 18th birthday, your chances of exercising pyromania suddenly plummeted, so you were finally allowed to purchase lighters. You also must have lost the ability to grasp simple probability, so you were allowed to purchase lottery tickets too. And being alive 18 years also gave you the right to make valid political decisions! It was a magical time of fire, useless paper, and picking future authority figures based on how cool their last names were.
     
    But when you turn 21, you go through the most magical transformation of all. You finally acquire the responsibility necessary to drink that mysterious, grown-up potion known as... alcohol.
     
    A whole new world of delicious, blissful flavors opens before you! You can finally pop open a can/bottle and have gorgeous models appear around you, or move backwrds in time, or become the most interesting person in the world, just like in the commercials! And bonding with friends no longer requires conversation! Somehow, just because your beverages all contain the same mysterious liquid known as "alcohol"... a true kinship is finally born.
     
    Well, that's what I thought. Except nobody told me something very important about these beverages.
     
    *Ahem.*
     
    THEY ALL TASTE LIKE WINDEX.
     
    People have certainly tried their best to convince me otherwise. And I'm sure that many drinks are very enjoyable --- if you have an unquenchable thirst for slightly more palatable cleaning fluids.
     
    They've given me wine (which tastes like grape juice, if you made grape juice with mostly disinfectant instead of grapes).
     
    And vodka (which tastes like it's made entirely from disinfectant).
     
    And someone even bought me a shot of whiskey and said it was "the good stuff." Nope, they lied. There was absolutely no "good" involved there whatsoever. (Except maybe good for scrubbing mold off showers or something.)
     
    So, overall, these magical new rights are pretty disappointing. Too bad I can't return them for something cool, like a pet unicorn or wizard powers.
     
     
    Turkii
  3. Turakii #1 Lavasurfer
    Recently, I've acquired the habit of shrieking things like "No! STAHP! STAHP THE DYING THING!" and "OTP FEEEEEEEELS!" at the TV.
     
    On a completely unrelated note, Vance has been sitting further and further away from me with every new episode. Maybe I need to shower more or something.
     
     
    Turakii
  4. Turakii #1 Lavasurfer
    And WOAH WHERE DID ALL THESE BUTTONS COME FROM!?
     
    So I was at Brickfair and realized, "Woah, BZP still exists, and so do I, so maybe our existences should coincide more often."
     
    Anyways, I have a story! *Ahem.* Once upon a time there was a member named Turakii who got married to a member named Toa Lhikan Hordika and moved to Santiago, Chile (in South America!) (speaking of which, Chileans get very offended if you call yourself an "American" because they technically are too, so you have to basically call yourself a "United Statian") (Actually, that wasn't really on-topic at all, so just ignore all these parentheses and move on).
     
    Now, Turakii's mother (Macku: Toa of Bubbles) was a very wise bubbly Toa, and she always told Turakii, "When you're shopping, you should never leave your purse in the cart, because someone can just walk by and take it and you won't even notice until you reach the checkout line."
     
    And the very first day Turakii was in Chile that definitely did not happen nope not at all.
     
    But if it had happened (which it definitely didn't), then it would have really sucked for the thief. Most people steal stuff hoping to find money or credit cards or diamond belt buckles or gold teeth and other things that people usually keep in purses. This thief, however, was fortunate enough to walk away with:
    A cell phone with no coverage in South America (SO MUCH USEFUL)
    A passport (and they would only need a tiny bit of plastic surgery to make use of it)
    A New York learner's permit (so if they ever happen to visit New York, they'll just have to find a licensed driver over 21 and they'll be able to drive legally! How convenient!)
    A couple of books (in English) (the primary language in Chile is Spanish)
    But he/she did get my adorable pink purse with the little dead animals printed all over it. =( I just hope they use it well.
     
    Moral of this story: If you're not going to wear your purse on your arm, fill it with all kinds of useless stuff so you can laugh evilly as you imagine the thief sobbing, "Where's the money? Where are the credit cards? Who the heck brings BOOKS to a GROCERY STORE!?"
     
    The End
     
    Turakii
  5. Turakii #1 Lavasurfer
    It's not... that... horrible...
     
    *Runs away covering face.*
     
    *Is pushed back to blog by certain someones who will remain unnamed.*
     
    *Ahem.* Soooo...
     
    Okay, the art and characters are adorable.
    Fine, since the characters can actually sing, the songs are bearable.
    Sure, it's downright funny at times.
    Alright, although it has lessons at the end, they're not sugar-wafer-sprinkle-covered-lessons dripping with chocolate syrup and shoved down your throat by a giggling protagonist.
     
    However, the fact that I found myself watching ten episodes in a day doesn't explain why guys like it (and were the ones insisting I watch it). I mean, I'm a girl. I'm just never going to have as much manliness as the opposite gender. No matter how I deny and ignore its whispers, the Barbie aisle is always going to have some sort of weird pull on me. So the fact that a bouncing, squeaky little pink pony obsessed over lollipops somehow fascinates me isn't entirely surprising.
     
    But men? Men! What happened to you!? My faith in the stronger gender is shattered! ;.;
     
    Turakii
  6. Turakii #1 Lavasurfer
    Desmond struggled as they dragged him to the chopping block, but to no avail. They pinned and trussed him firmly. As the axe rose above his head, glinting in the sunlight, his thoughts flew back to all that brought him here.
     
    He was born in a small cabin in Connecticut, surrounded by trees and wildlife. His parents were poor, but their love for him had --THUNK!
     
     
    Turakii
  7. Turakii #1 Lavasurfer
    Apparently, my Bionicle alter-ago decided that he'd had enough of my profile selfishly being all about me and wrote out his own backstory in the interests section.
     
    On the bright side, I can now actually locate the bottom of my profile. I thought it was just a legend. =O
     
    Turakii
  8. Turakii #1 Lavasurfer
    Guys, did you know that, on Friday, yesterday was Thursday!?
     
    And tomorrow is Saturday!?
     
    And Sunday comes afterwards!? Sunday! Of all things!?
     
    ME NEITHER! =O But thanks to Rebecca Black, I'll never forget again!
     
    I so excited!
     
     
    Turakii
  9. Turakii #1 Lavasurfer
    So, after ten years of glasses, I finally decided to try that other option that doesn't involve shooting lasers in my eyes.
     
    Open eye, insert plastic, see clearly without glasses. Sounds simple.
     
    But there's something that never really registers up until that very moment...
     
    Your eye doesn't want plastic in it.
     
    Never mind that you'll be able to see yourself in a mirror from farther than five inches! You're attempting to not only touch your finger to your eye, but insert a foreign object! I don't know about yours, but my eye's total unenthusiastic reaction was basically the following:
     
    "Oh, hi, you took your glasses off! My, things are blurry today, you gonna put those back on? Oooh, tiny little circley thingies... you know, you could probably see them better if you put the glasses back on. No? Oh well, your choice. Hm, those sure are tiny... wait, what are you doing? You can't need to hold them that close, honest, I could see them just fine before... wait! WAIT! Are you aware that you're trying to stuff that in your eye!? OW! Stop it! OW! What are you huffing in frustration for!? I'm the one trying to stop your insanity! I'm --OW!-- warning you! HEY! Just doing my job here!"
     
    So eventually, you physically restrain your eyelids and ignore every cry of sense and reason that they scream at you, and after a few tries you can miraculously see! And then your eye just says, "Hm, this is actually quite nice... ooh, I can make out the pattern of the carpeting and everything... very nice, very nice, so we're just going to keep this in then? I think I can deal with... wait. Wait. NO! You don't need one in the other eye! We're doing just fine here, thank you, and --OW!"
     
    Happily, after almost a week of practice, my eyes and I have reached an understanding. I pry them open and jab the contacts in them, they get to cry and twitch and redden as much as they please, and in the end we both get to see. Win/win situation! =D
     
    Turakii
  10. Turakii #1 Lavasurfer
    I saw it before now, honest. Flying fish are awesome.
     
    But anyways, something's been bugging me ever since I saw it... why could Kazran Sardick come in contact with his younger self?
     
    The Doctor Who topic offers the explanation that, since he was changing and becoming nicer, he technically wasn't the same person anymore. The question is, if that applies, how far does the "different person" part extend?
     
    For example, in the Father's Day episode, couldn't baby Rose count as a different person because, unlike older Rose, her father actually made it to the wedding alive? Can the existence of one person make a difference? Or is it only inner changes?
     
    (On another note, if Kazran could remember his past as it changed, why couldn't Rose? Why could she tell her father about him not being there when she and everyone else were, at that time, probably going to be eaten, and thus she'd have no memories?)
     
    Returning to the original topic...
     
    In the fifth Doctor episode Mawdryn Undead, two versions of the Brigadier (the leader of UNIT), from two different times, are unknowingly on the same ship at the same time. The Doctor mentions that if they touch each other, to paraphrase, time would pretty much blow up, or at least suffer serious repercussions. In a marvelous coincidence, when they inevitably touched, it was at the same moment the Doctor was being forced to transfer his remaining regenerations to another person, so all the energy went into that and both time and the Doctor went on their merry way.
     
    But the Doctor wasn't performing anything like that, so why didn't time blow up? D=
     
    Turakii
  11. Turakii #1 Lavasurfer
    So I recently acquired this dragon which needs a lot of work. It's not exactly house trained, and is constantly eating my goldfish and cats instead of the nice Dragon Kibbles I bought for it.
     
    In my desperation, I've resorted to unlikely places for solutions to my dilemma. When I reached the BZP blogs, I thought I'd finally hit the jackpot. Entry after entry with tutorials on the very problem I'm having! At last, my goldfish are saved!
     
    Except every single one of those entries have to do with some stupid movie they're all excited about.
     
    We really need a rule about misleading entry titles.
     
     
    Turakii
     
  12. Turakii #1 Lavasurfer
    It really says something about the activeness of BZP when a topic manages to reach the hot topic list with only ten posts...
     
    I think it also says something about BZP when said topic is surmising whether Tahu would enjoy Red Hots. =P
     
    And before you ask, no, Pohatu doesn't eat rock candy and Gali isn't a huge fan of seltzer water.
     
    Turakii
  13. Turakii #1 Lavasurfer
    Don't give up hope.
     
    It's worth it, I tell you! The pain and deprivation are worth it! All those Snickers, Milky Ways, Tootsie Rolls, Skittles, and Peanut M&Ms you're forced to give away are redeemed in the end!
     
    ...
     
    Actually, I'm lying. You never do quite get over their loss.
     
    But at least your teeth look good. =D
     
    Turakii
  14. Turakii #1 Lavasurfer
    I have a warning for you... because no one ever bothered to warn me.
     
    One day, your braces will be removed, and will instead be replaced with a metal/plastic contraption designed to keep your teeth looking beautiful and straight and to show everyone you still haven't escaped the orthodontist's clutches.
     
    When you get a retainer, it's exciting. You have removable metal in your mouth! You can take it out for pictures! You can impress your friends by flipping it with your tongue when your orthodontist isn't looking!
     
    But nobody mentions.
     
    That sometimes, when you take it out.
     
    The roof of your mouth.
     
    Tastes absolutely revolting.
     
    Like glue. And food. And hairspray. Expired hairspray.
     
    And suddenly, brushing your teeth sounds like the greatest pastime on earth.
     
     
    Turakii
  15. Turakii #1 Lavasurfer
    So what do those trainers do during the battle, anyways? Just stare blankly as their beloved pets they've put so much care into raising beat each other to a pulp? Or do they actually enjoy watching?
     
    I had to take a picture of this because it didn't fit on my scanner bed, so the quality isn't as good as I'd like... D=
     
    Turakii
  17. Turakii #1 Lavasurfer

    New Hobby

    By Turakii #1 Lavasurfer,

    Adding "With a Double-Barreled Apocalyptic Rocket Launcher" to the end of song titles.You Give Love A Bad Name With a Double-Barreled Apocalyptic Rocket Launcher - Bon Jovi Nobody's Perfect With a Double-Barreled Apocalyptic Rocket Launcher - Hannah Montana Fireflies With a Double-Barreled Apocalyptic Rocket Launcher - Owl City Just Dance With a Double-Barreled Apocalyptic Rocket Launcher - Lady Gaga Single Ladies With a Double-Barreled Apocalyptic Rocket Launcher - Beyonce Turakii
  18. Turakii #1 Lavasurfer

    A Poemy Thing

    By Turakii #1 Lavasurfer,

    Long, long ago, in a happy little town
    There was a happy street with a happy little house
    And in that house's lawn there was a bunch of ground
    And above all that ground was some sky and clouds
     
    But these clouds were unusual; they loved to dance and sing
    And nibble people's rooftops and steal shoelace strings
    And change the rhyming pattern for poor members' rhymes
    So the writer had to work harder to think up the next line
     
    So the writer grabbed a skillet and left the happy house
    Shook her fist up at the sky and shouted to those clouds
     
    "You think you'll ruin my rhyme, you puffs!?
    You precipitation and rainy stuff!?
    I'll change it myself, to show you guys!"
    And she hurled her skillet at the sky
    Then, grumbling, went back inside
    And changed the pattern of her rhyme
     
    "Her rhyme! Her rhyme!"
    The clouds all cried
    "She changed it without us!?"
    They grew so miffed
    They howled and hissed
    Then, suddenly, blew up
     
    So now the clouds are gone at last
    Sure, maybe it never rains
    And maybe the lawn's full of dying grass
    And the neighbors are back again
    And people are pounding on my door
    Waving pitchforks and sharpish things
    Shouting, "What did you do that for!?"
    My petunias! My garden! My weeds!"
    And everytime I step outside
    They throw vegetables at me
    But at least shoelaces are safe again
    And my poem is cloud-free!
     
    ...
     

     
    Turakii
  22. Turakii #1 Lavasurfer
    That's where I was. Instead of here.
     
    The positive: Seeing Skillet, Tobymac, and Superchic[K] live
     
    The negative: Having no access to BZP for four days just as I was getting caught up from the last time I couldn't get on the computer ;.;
     
    Darnit, Real Life! Stop interfering with my computer access! >=O Nobody needs you anyways!
     
     
    Turakii
  24. Turakii #1 Lavasurfer
    Since it's BZP's anniversary and everyone gets a free week of Premiership, that means we each get to have a blog of our very own for a whole week! =D This is so exciting! You'll be hearing from me lots, guys, 'cause I can't let it go to waste! And then there are these shiny, shiny images under the avatars! They're so pretty! And polls! I need to make a poll right away! I need to make ten! But most importantly...
     
     
    FREE BLOGS ALL AROUND!
     
     
    :onfire:
     
     
    :happydance: :happydance:
     
     

     
     
    WOOHOO!
     
    ...
     
    ...
     
    ...
     
    <<
     
    >>
     
    What? Can't Premiers get excited too?
     
     
    Turakii
  25. Turakii #1 Lavasurfer
    So today I'm rewatching Beauty and the Beast, because I haven't seen it since I was, like, five. And I has comments and questions. 8D
    What if the Beast had fallen in love with Mrs. Potts? Was Mrs. Potts a widow? If not, then where was her husband? Was he so unimportant a character that they never showed him? Was her husband away from the castle when this happened? Did he come home at all during that time? How did he feel to discover his beloved wife was a teapot? What exactly did that enchantress do to make household objects so pliable as to be able to wave their "arms" and talk? A sheep BIT A CHUNK OUT OF HER BOOK. Why does Belle take so long to notice the huge crowd of people following her and singing at the tops of their lungs? Do the villagers practice regularly to sing in such perfect harmony whenever Belle walks by? Gaston points out there are no pictures in her book, but the page she showed the sheep had a lovely illustration of "prince charming." Did the sheep eat that and the rest of the pictures off-camera? How DARE Gaston think himself more important than a book. >=O Not all creepy, foggy roads are shortcuts. No, someone's not there. You're just randomly hearing voices saying, "Maybe if we wait awhile, he'll go away." How did the candelabra manage to push people and tap things without setting them on fire? All those parts that fell out of Cogsworth when he fell down the stairs might possibly be important... How is it physically possible for someone's lips to stretch all the way through a tuba? When I was little, I thought "provincial" was a synonym for "boring." Whenever the most annoying guy in the village proposes to me, I always run up to the top of a hill and sing amidst the dandelions too. How exactly does Mrs. Potts do the dishes when she has no arms? Wouldn't it be a little difficult to sound your B's and P's with protruding fangs? So here's this poor guy, just hanging out after a long, hard day, when he gets his belt stolen by this short guy and before he can say a word, Gaston snaps it with a flexing of his neck muscles. Man, I wish I had my own personal companion to sing me an ego-boost song whenever I'm lacking in self-esteem. ;.; How does the candelabra keep relighting himself with his breath? Also, how do the various household appliances reach those tall door handles? My, the Beast sure knows how to win a girl's heart. Nothing like some nice snarling, growling, and yelling, "EAT DINNER WITH ME!" to show those females how much you care. Belle totally dodges the question when she retorts to his, "Well, you shouldn't have been in the west wing!" with, "Well, you should learn to control your temper!" Did the inhabitants of the castle turn into these objects or merge with them? Because the castle probably had a stove before the spell was cast... so what happened to it? After they're turned back, does the (former) Beast need to purchase a whole new set of kitchenware and furniture? THE BEAST REGENERATES. But he was waaay cuter as a beast. =( And how are little flying cupids supposed to be better than awesome gargoyle statues? Those magic sparkles have a poor decorating sense... They need to make a sequel about the adjusting period where all the people in the castle try to get used to not being made out of china/wood/metal.  
    Turakii
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