Phovos

I appreciate it, but I would 100% skip the earlier chapters. They're bad. Don't think a bio-second is a thing, sadly.

Those feet are so nice.

I think having the Kraata powers stay in the armour is probably best for Tahu and his sanity. Kraata powers can be pretty twisted, and he doesn't need that all the time.

"I swear, we were gone for like five minutes, and everything has disappeared!" Tahnok rubbed his large, blue eyes, trying to work out what he was looking at. The last thing he remembered, he had been helping to rebuild a village, after the Toa protecting it had sacrificed themselves to kill a Makuta. Or the Makuta. Tahnok wasn't sure. But now though, there was nothing but emptiness. A vast, open space, with nothing more than a few scattered rocks floating around. "It's a good thing we don't actually need to breathe..." Kohrak clicked as he clutched a familiar, golden mask in his hand. "It's as if their gods just went and... destroyed that entire universe..." "What in the name of the Queens did they do to deserve that?" Lehvak asked, not at all enjoying being stuck in space again. It conjured up old memories, mistakes form the past. "It was just, like, one minute it was all there, the next it was all gone!" Nuhvok thought to himself for a moment, then offered the only answer he could think of. "Probably didn't make enough money..." "Money? What does money have to do with existence itself?" Kohrak snapped back. "You are really considering the idea that a franchise not making enough money-" "I mean, that's kinda exactly what happened!" Nuhvok flicked his buzzsaw claws towards Kohrak. "We weren't even supposed to be there anyway. We're the Bohrok-Kal. We died back in 2003. Yet somehow, we're over twenty years old. We're old enough to drink alcohol and have-" A bolt of lightning flickered between the arguing Kal. "We're Bohrok, we don't do that..." Tahnok tutted. "Either way, it seems like some twisted writer has decided to bring us back to life for one last story that probably won't go anywhere. So we'd better get that Olmak into gear and find SOMEWHERE to teleport to. Unless you want to spend an eternity here, floating in the dark." "Actually..." Gahlok raised his hand. "I kinda think we could do with some darkness floating. You know, as some kind of meditation thingy. Get our heads together and stuff like that." Lehvak though was having none of that. He was already panicking slightly, really not liking the feeling of no gravity again. And no, Nuhvok's fat bottom was not helping with the lack of gravity in the slightest. "We can do that anywhere though! We don't have to float in space! Not again!" Tahnok sighed. "Lehvak is right, we can't really just stay here. That would be boring. No one wants to read about six Bohrok-Kal floating in space." "No one wants to read about us Kal in general!" Nuhvok interrupted. "We died. Twenty years ago. And no one liked us, even back then. If it hadn't been for the Rahkshi, the whole series would have gone under." "Nuhvok, brother, I love you dearly..." Kohrak grunted. "But please stop breaking the fourth wall." "Nu-uh, no can do, Kohrak! This story arc has been dead for nearly seven years, I can break all the walls I want. Except, well, there aren't any... Okay, maybe Tahnok has a point, maybe we should teleport somewhere. But I'm all out of ideas." "And I kinda don't want to infringe on copyright law by going back to a licensed universe or something..." Pahrak frowned. "Is Hero Factory still around?" "Nope." "Legends of Chima?" "Definitely nope." "Ninjago?" "We are NOT going to that stupid place!" Gahlok shouted. "We've been through a lot, but I draw the line at ninjas!" "Alright..." Tahnok tried to think. "What about the narrator... What was his name?" "You mean Medic." Nuhvok crossed his arms, getting tired of floating around. He pulled over a couple of floating rocks, which he and Pahrak melted together into a single platform, giving the six Bohrok somewhere to sit down. "Pretty sure they were called Phovos..." Tahnok tutted. "Only on BZPower!" Kohrak tried to explain. "Turns out, around 2016, they started using the name Medic on various social media, before switching to the name Retvik, only to have settled down on the name Arkay." "How do you know that?" Pahrak asked. "Uh, Nuhvok isn't the only one who can break the fourth wall sometimes. Arkay now also writes a gaming blog or something. Something to do with space ninjas." "OH NO NOT MORE NINJAS!" Gahlok growled. "I hate ninjas." "Why?" "I'm allowed to unconditionally hate things. Can we get out of here already? I changed my mind, it's cold and dark and Lehvak is right, we can rest and meditate anywhere." Kohrak took a deep breath, despite not needing to breathe. "We need some kind of destination. Otherwise the Olmak could take us anywhere." "Can you..." Tahnok hesitated. "Can you take us to, like, a nice beach or something? Somewhere where we can just, well, exist?" "I can try..." Kohrak held the Olmak in front of him, then concentrated as hard as he could. Slowly, a portal began to form in front of them. Kohrak took a moment to steady himself, then stepped through. The other Bohrok all glanced at each other, then followed Kohrak. The Kal found themselves on some sort of beach, just as Kohrak had promised. The sand was fine and golden and the sea was a deep, rich blue. A dull sun sat at the horizon, slowly sinking beneath the waves, illuminating the sky with a mixture of reds and yellows. What stuck out though was a very large message floating in the sky. It consisted of three words, but the third word kept on shifting between two different spellings. "Welcome to Heaven..." Tahnok blinked. "Or Deathven. It can't make up its mind..." The portal behind the Bohrok sealed up, and the Olmak in Kohrak's hands faded in colour, turning a dull, cracked gold. "Well, guess we'd better have a look around then..." Kohrak sighed, feeling rather tired, but at the same time feeling... good for once. "I think we're going to be stuck here for a while..." Hey, yes, I know it's been like, 8 years. But I recently remembered this and kinda felt like writing a send-off for it. Have a great 2024!

That's an awful lot of stuff to wish for, I can't say I have nearly as much optimism.

The creature started running off, but not in a particularly fast way. No wonder, it had a gun attached to its shoulder. "Come on! We need your help to stop these remaining Skull Spiders!" The Bohrok-Kal all chased after the Matoran thing, apart from Nuhvok. "Skull Spiders? I'm not having deja vu or anything, didn't I really upset their lord or something in some previous chapter or something?" "You did. Clearly he got back on his feet and took a self-confidence course or something after we left." "Or read a self-help book." "Or that, yeah." "Come on, you strange Toa!" the creature shouted again. "They'll take over the whole village!" "Hang on!" Lehvak skidded to a halt. "I already did that though. With the Lehvak Swarms. We took over Le-Koro." "Are you lot going to stop every few moments? We're supposed to be Toa!" Tahnok sighed. "Why don't you five stay here while I follow this clearly fire-element based being?" The rest of the Kal stopped. "Sure thing, Tahnok. We'll be lazy sobs and stay here." Tahnok rolled his eyes as he left his brothers behind and continued to follow the creature. Part of him wished his element actually WAS fire, rather than electricity. Finally, after narrowly missing some lava, they arrived at a small, boring village full of Matoran-like beings with clear Krana rip-offs on their faces. Tahnok glanced at the creature. "I assume you can help?" "Of course." There was more eye-rolling as Tahnok unleashed a small EMP, just enough to disorientate the Skull Spiders. But as he was about to go and squish them all, someone much more familiar walked up from another path and started fighting the more active ones. Somewhat accidentally. The creature next to Tahnok sighed. "There goes Narmoto again! He's normally good at his job but by the Mask Makers, lately he's..." "They sound distracted..." Tahnok hesitated. He decided to go and approach this Narmoto character, electrocuting a couple of Skull Spiders as he did so. "Hello, do you need any help?" "What in the name of Otoko are you?" Narmoto growled, before changing his attitude. "I am sorry. Things are rather... bad right now." "Let me clear up these thingies for you, then we can talk if you want." "That would be nice, creature. My name is Narmoto." "My name is officially Tahnok-Kal, but you can just call me Tahnok. Two seconds." Exactly two seconds later, all the Skull Spiders were gone. A scream in the distance was all that remained until Gahlok came rushing down towards them. "TAHNOK, I HATE SPIDERS, WHY DID YOU- Oh, hello." The other Kal caught up with Gahlok and all muttered their own hellos. "There are six of you?" Narmoto asked. "Aren't there always six of us?" Pahrak asked a suitably relevant question. "You look really sad. Did someone die?" "Y-yes..." "Oh... I am so sorry!" Pahrak jumped back, not expecting to be right. "Who died, if you don't mind us asking?" Kohrak inquired, curious. "Seems like it was all a very big deal, considering the destruction around here. Looks like Ta-Koro after the Swarms hit..." Narmoto sniffed. "Our guardians, the Toa, gave their lives to protect us from evil." "...Which Toa?" Kohrak hesitated to ask, not wanting to upset anyone. "What do you mean, which Toa?" Narmoto tutted. "We have only ever had six Toa! And they're gone! Poor, poor Tahu..." Lehvak quickly pulled his brothers to one side, so the Otokans couldn't hear them. "You hear that? The bloody Toa are dead!" "Hey Lehvak, remember when we became good guys?" Kohrak gave Lehvak a quick slap around the face. "We're not supposed to be happy about this. Plus, these Toa are still completely different to the Toa who murdered us in cold blood after we spared their lives. Kopaka and Pohatu are still stuck in our universe's Red Star!" "Someone's been reading Biosector01!" Nuhvok joked. "Ssh. We need to help these guys. They're depressed and sad and maybe we can totally actually be real good guys!" "I genuinely thought we were good guys now?" Tahnok seemed confused. "Have I been getting it wrong all this time?" "We just think we're good. Everyone else thinks we're evil..." "I guess. Oh, hello again..." Tahnok spun around to find Narmoto and the other Otokan tapping him on the shoulder. "You're bad guys, aren't you?" Narmoto tapped his foot angrily. "No! We're totally reformed!" Tahnok stammered, replying as quickly as possible to avoid any suspicion. "Seriously, we are. We've been good guys for ages now. Like, what, thirteen years?" "We're old enough to register on most websites now!" Gahlok added. "We totally want to help you out." "What they said. We've got nothing better to do." Narmoto sighed. "Fine. But I am going to have to take you guys to meet the other Protectors. And you'll have to speak to Ekimu as well." "Is he your leader?" Tahnok asked. "Essentially, yes." "Alright then." "But first, to prove yourselves, I'd like for you lot to help us rebuild this village!" Narmoto smiled slightly. "Got a lot of work to do!" "Fine, fine. As long as we get to see your leader afterwards..." Tahnok grumbled as the Bohrok-Kal got to work.

No matter what happens at the end of Generation 2 (I haven't seen it yet - all I know is that Bionicle is ending), the fact that the Vahi exists both here and in Generation 1 means that LEGO have left themselves a nice big opening. They could reboot and/or retcon the entire series with ease, simply by implying that a mask of time exists. Whether it's intentional or not, having the Vahi in Gen2 is a pretty clever and, more importantly, simple idea, more than just a throwback to Generation 1 and its old fans, perhaps?

I think it's unfair to judge really any of the bad guys apart from Makuta and Umarak, they existed only to be steamrolled by the Toa. Even Kulta was only there to be defeated by Ekimu. Worst character for me is Pohatu, who was essentially a different character. Then again none of the Toa really had much to say about themselves either. We just didn't have enough content to properly develop anyone.

"You do realise it has taken you more than half a darn year to get up those stairs and talk to me, right?" Kohrak sobbed as he sat in the corner. He wanted to cry, but being a Bohrok made that feat nigh impossible and kinda rendered the previous sentence moot. Tahnok shrugged. "I think the author has been busy with other things. Like writing about the universe that we're currently stuck in. Because this is a weird place. And nothing here makes any sense at all. Everyone is all icky and organic. Even that organic Phovos.” “Icky? Didn’t you once try and sle-” “No. Also, brother, rated U here!” “Oh. I must have forgotten. I blame it on the author. Clearly spent way too long not writing this and writing their new nonsense. I bet it’s way better than the Bohrok-Kal’s Ramblings.” Tahnok sighed. “You don’t know for sure.” “I do know. The author stuck us here inside their stupid OC world and I just want to leave.” “Then use the Olmak!” Tahnok suggested. “Get us out of here or something!” “NOOOOOO!” Kohrak screamed. If there was any glass still in one piece after Kohrak’s previous panic, there certainly wasn’t any left now. Tahnok panicked and dived out of the room, down the stairs and out into the garden, where the other Kal were waiting for him. So was alternate Phovos. “Oh. Hi.” “Hello, little creatures!” alternate Phovos smiled menacingly. “I assume she’s already worked out that we’re not the Bohrok she’s looking for?” Tahnok whispered to the others. “Ayup!” Nuhvok smiled awkwardly. “Why is Kohrak screaming again?” “I accidentally said the word Olmak and he freaked out.” Alternate Phovos interrupted. “I am afraid you little creatures will have to leave. I won’t charge you for this mess, because I doubt you have anything of value on you, but I’d recommend you leave before any Vohra turn up and try and claim you as their own. A small team of Vohra will probably be here in about ten minutes.” Kohrak’s screaming finally stopped. Lehvak grinned. “Great! That’s just enough time for us to convince Kohrak that this is Destiny being all weird and confusing again!” He rushed back inside, oblivious to the fact that all that sonic screaming may or may not have left the building unstable. Pahrak and Nuhvok both followed him. “I apologise for the damage…” Tahnok sighed as he turned to face alternate Phovos. “Things have been incredibly confusing. We’re supposed to be dead. And then we came back and killed zombies and I don’t even bloody know any more!” “That is understandable. Perhaps maybe your magic mask will allow you to come back one day, so we may discuss your lives further?” It turned out that alternate Phovos was way nicer than old Phovos. “I would like that. I… What is it, Gahlok.” “Sorry to interrupt!” Gahlok stuttered. “But are those beings over there Vohra? Also, do you remember that Arkay being? Because I’m totally sure that’s him over there in handcuffs.” He pointed towards a group of tall, armoured, anthropomorphic beings. Phovos spun around to look at them. “That does totally look like Arkay.” “I’ma shout to him. ARKAY!” The arrested creature looked up, but was quickly pulled away by its captors. “For the sake of the Queens, Gahlok! Don’t do that!” Tahnok hissed. “Why? He looks like he’s in trouble.” “No one here knows us! They might arrest us too!” “Oh.” “No, they are not Vohra, they are Rethans, doing arrests in my territory. I should probably deal with this…” Phovos growled. “It was nice meeting you.” “Uh, thanks, you too!” Tahnok replied, as Phovos ran off towards the Rethans. Right on cue, the rest of the Bohrok-Kal stormed out of the now crumbling building. Kohrak was holding the Olmak. “Okay, one more try. That is ALL I am doing. Wherever we end up, we’re staying there.” “Even if it’s the middle of space?” “SPACE? NOOOOOOOoooooo!” Lehvak screamed, shattering the one last remaining piece of glass in the building. “Okay, fine. The next inhabitable place we go to. Okay?” The other Kal all nodded. “Alright. Everyone, hold hands.” “Do I have to hold Lehvak’s hand?” Nuhvok whined. “Yes. Now let me concentrate.” Suddenly a portal opened up, created by the Olmak. Without any hint of hesitation, Kohrak dragged the Bohrok through the portal and into a large forest. The portal snapped shut behind them and the Kal realised they were not alone. “Hello!” a rather Matoran-like being grinned. “Hello!” Pahrak tried to grin back. “Where are we?” “Otoko!” the being continued to grin. Nuhvok laughed. “That’s a dumb name!” The creature sighed. “I know. But Mata Nui wasn’t available, for legal reasons, so we went with Otoko instead… But yes, welcome! You must be the Toa we prayed for!” The Bohrok-Kal all glanced at one another. “Sure, we’re Toa!” Tahnok finally announced. “How can we help you?”

"I swear she just makes it up as she goes along..." Lehvak muttered under his breath as everyone jumped up to see if Kohrak was okay. Considering he was currently curled up in a ball, screaming random things, it was obvious he clearly wasn't. Tahnok tried to calm him down by offering him a glass of water, but after that failed, Gahlok and Nuhvok resorted to using their abilities to untangle the crying Bohrok. Eventually though, Kohrak calmed down so the actual chapter cold start. "Bloody Bahrag, Kohrak, what was all that about?" Pahrak exclaimed, as he pulled a tray of freshly baked cookies out of the oven. Tahnok raised a non-existent eyebrow at him, having no clue where he had the time to make those cookies, or how he had managed to get the ingredients together so quickly. Pahrak shrugged and dragged the subject back to the once-again screaming Kohrak. Kohrak took a cookie and finally calmed down for real. He took a couple of deep breaths before explaining. "Sorry about that... But I think this mask is stalking me or something. I intentionally left it behind. I didn't want to see it again. At all. Something about all those... zombies? I don't want to remember any of that. A fresh start. Yet here's this mask, following me." Tahnok patted his brother on the shoulder. "It's okay, Kohrak. I promise you won't end up like Matoro... That IS what you're afraid of, yes?" Kohrak nodded. "I don't want to die again." "Then maybe we should get rid of the mask?" Nuhvok suggested. "There's like a big desert that we kinda walked past, we could bury it there." "Or we could use your random teleportation powers to get rid of it?" Gahlok made a better suggestion. "Nah, I don't trust me to not subconsciously send it somewhere not random," Nuhvok explained. "You know, subconscious and all that. We do weird things when we're subconscious." Kohrak nodded his head in agreement, soothed by the cookies and a decent idea for once. "That's not a bad idea. We should do it." "Quick question?" Lehvak interrupted. "Who sent the mask?" Tahnok grabbed the wrapper from the paper. There was no name on it or anything, it just who it was sent to. Not even a return address. He didn't want to throw the mask away, it was clearly a very powerful thing and he didn't want anyone finding it. On the other hand, Tahnok was more worried about how Kohrak had reacted, so into the desert sands it went. "You want to bury it together?" "No. I don't want to see." Kohrak almost seemed visibly upset. Quite a feat for a Bohrok. "Alright. Pahrak, you stay here and keep an eye on Kohrak, make sure he's okay. We'll be back in a bit." The other Bohrok all left, leaving the pair of them alone. Kohrak took a handful of cookies and quickly started eating them, while Pahrak busied himself making some more for when they returned. Some time passed. Nuhvok in particular spent a lot of time choosing a decent location to bury the mask. Their first choice, picked by Lehvak, accidentally opened up an ancient tomb with four beings trapped inside it. They decided to quickly get out of there before those four beings noticed, but none of them seemed dangerous and one of them looked eerily famililiar. Nuhvok waved it by as coincidence though, so Tahnok and Lehvak quickly dropped the subject. Finally, Nuhvok picked a nice big empty space. He lifted up a huge pile of sand to make sure it was nice and buried, Gahlok dropped the Olmak in the hole and they left the site. They'd actually walked pretty far, and Nuhvok's first attempt to teleport them back left them in the wrong place. Tahnok got it right on a second teleport. But clearly something was wrong as the four of them entered their temporary accomodation. Kohrak was screaming again. Pahrak didn't seem too happy either. "What's wrong?" Tahnok shouted. "THE MASK CAME BACK IT'S STALKING ME AAAAAAH!" Kohrak bellowed uncontrollably. Thankfully he was still somewhat in control of his powers. Tahnok didn't want to explain to attractive alternate Phovos that Kohrak had gone and shattered all the glass in a fit of terror. "But we just buried it!" Nuhvok protested. Despite his claim, the Olmak was sitting on the table, right where it'd originally been found, several feet away from Kohrak. Speaking of Kohrak, he'd finally lost it and disappeared upstairs. Tahnok rolled his eyes. "Alright, you lot work out a better way to hide that mask for now, I'll talk to Kohrak..."

I dunno, the turning of the drill to fire the studs seems like a bit of a design flaw to me, even as an action feature. Like every set I buy, I won't be getting my hands on the Uniter sets until May 2016 unless I can get a good shipping deal online. Onua though, I don't think he'll be among my purchases. Terak looks cool but Onua just kinda seems like all the other Uniters, so I'll probably just get Kopaka and his new buddy. Surprised at the use of the skeleton plates as shoulder armour, I think the old claws (but in trans purple or gold) from last time would have been better.

I'm still using this picture of Kohrak-Kal with the Olmak, as some thing from my old comedy, being a parody of Matoro and the Ignika. I should change it.

Definitely the Battera. Shapeshifting monsters that scared the Skrall? Neat.

This wasn't the Phovos they remembered. This one was organic. Feminine. Actually pretty cool-looking. Nuhvok was very tempted to say that this Phovos looked... attractive, but he didn't want to get into trouble. She still wore some sort of mechanical armour, but it was plesantly integrated with the rest of her curvy body. The largest piece of armour curved perfectly around her br- "Narrator, can you please stop with the descriptions please?" Kohrak pleaded. "I know we're mechanical, but think about the poor readers out there!" "Plus," Tahnok added, "shaped armour around the chest armour is a brilliant way of getting oneself killed. How Roodaka survived all these years, I have no idea." Gahlok blinked and looked at Tahnok. "You met her?" "No, I've seen pictures though." "Haven't we all?" Nuhvok grinned. The organic raptor ahead of them though was paying no attention what so ever. She had taken a sharp left turn, followed by another. Before long, the seven of them were standing outside what looked like a converted warehouse. Around them were other converted warehouses, some occupied, some sitting unusued. This one looked incredibly cosy. The road ahead led to a large, arena-like thing. Phovos handed each of the Bohrok a key. "This will be your quarters, little Vohra. Someone left a package inside for you. Probably some sort of sponsorship from your Queens. If you need me, I will be in my quarters at the Dessaron Arena." With that, Phovos readied to leave, but didn't quite get the chance to. "Um, excuse me, Phovos, but we're Bohrok, not Vohra..." Kohrak pointed out. the Raptor paused. "Hm? You look like Vohra, if a bit mechanical. Am I mistaken?" Nuhvok grunted. "Yeah. We're Bohrok. Bohrok-Kal. We don't know what Vohra are. We just, uh, got here." Phovos shifted her armour slightly. "Hm. Actually, now you mention it, maybe you are someone more. Perhaps you are the machines the Thraki future-seers predicted would come?" The Bohrok exchanged glances with one another, unsure how to reply. Finally, Tahnok admitted they had no idea what was going on and explained what had happened back in September, because the narrator was busy with real life and kinda forgot about BZPower for ages. Had it really been that long? And could Phovos claim that this comedy was still being updated? "Of course I can still claim that!" Phovos threatened, pulling an extendomatic axe out of her pocket. "Who said I can't?" After a few seconds of angry axe swinging, Phovos calmed down and looked down at the Bohrok-Kal. "Okay, so you're really actually mechanical beings from a universe called Bionicle and you've accidentally ended up here while trying to escape the new version of this Bionicle universe, after somehow breaking the Bionicle universe you originally came from?" "Two Bionicle universes, but yes, that's it..." Kohrak added. "We just don't have a place to live currently and have no idea what world we're on. The fact that you know who we are and you remind us of someone with the same name is... well... uh..." "Highly improbable?" "Yes. Highly improbable. Thanks, Pahrak." Pahrak gleamed at his opportunity to be smart, only to be silently mocked by Lehvak. Everyone ignored Lehvak, because everyone knew Lehvak actually wasn't a very nice person. Phovos took this opportunity to think for a moment, and eventually the Bohrok joined in on the thinking too. Finally, Phovos had an idea. She leaped up, making everyone else jump. "Tell you what, little Vohra..." "Bohrok." "... Bohrok. I will make a call to the Thraki future-seers and make an appointment to see them. While I AM expecting a team of Vohran Kalsa warriors to come along and stay with me, you can use this place as temporary accomodation. Alright?" The six Bohrok-Kal nodded. Gahlok suddenly perked up. "What about the parcel?" Phovos shrugged. "The note on it says it's for a Kohrak-Kal, so if one of you is Kohrak-Kal, you can have it. If not, I'll take it." "I'm Kohrak-Kal!" Kohrak exclaimed. The Raptor smiled. "Nice to meet you, Kohrak-Kal. I assume the rest of you have names too?" The Bohrok introduced themselves, while the Raptor continued to smile, noting that their names did sound somewhat 'Vohra-y'. After a brief mention that she'd pop by to visit them in the morning, Phovos turned and left and the Bohrok filed into the house. Kohrak went to inspect the package left for him, while Lehvak and Nuhvok started arguing about beds. Tahnok quickly put them both in their place, giving them both a nasty shock. "You can both have the bottom bunks. Pahrak, Kohrak and I get the top bunks." "Who died and made you boss?" Lehvak protested. "I've been the boss since 2003. Now shut up and start behaving!" Tahnok demanded. Lehvak and Nuhvok both sulked off to explore the rest of their new home, while Tahnok turned his attention to Kohrak and his package. "What is it, brother?" Kohrak shook his head in confusion, inspecting the note on it. "I have no idea..." After some hesitation, he ripped open the package, then dropped it, almost in shock. It was the Olmak.

It makes me sad that most people hate my beloved Bohrok-Kal. But they got me into Bionicle so I'm biased. Still think that, if they'd been released as Matoran-sized sets in a later year, they would have sold fine, but being released straight after the Bohrok killed them. But yeah, I think it's universally broken parts. I have so many pieces from 2006-2010 that are broken, compared to <2005 parts. The new system is very sturdy, as much as hard core fans probably dislike it. My 4300th post? Nuhvok-Kal NOOOOOOOOOO!

Um... This isn't necro-ing, is it? I just kinda stopped posting because I knew my next rank would end with me killing off my favourite characters. But I do browse occasionally, promise!

There were skulls everywhere. Or spiders. Or skull spiders. No one was really sure. They covered the floor and walls and pretty much everything. In the center of the room was a giant spider with 8 legs, rather than the 4 legs of the skull spiders. "Whatever you are, you just squashed some of my children!" the monster growled as it stared at the six beings who had just fallen through the ceiling. "I, the Lord of the Skull Spiders, shall now posess your minds! Like I have done with pretty much everything else that's gotten in my way since those pesky Toa arrived here!" The six beings sat up, all as confused as the giant spider. "Did he say Toa?" "He said Toa." "She." "It?" "Are we really discussing gender here?" "Oh shut up the lot of you. We're clearly in some sort of Bionicle world!" Nuhvok barked. He wasn't in the mood for this. "You, giant spider, what are you?" The Lord of the Skull Spiders sneered. "How dear yo-" Nuhvok made a Skull Spider implode, then threw a few more across the room. "Okay, I'll talk... I'm a giant spider and I'm trying to steal masks and stuff for some reason because of Makuta and things like that and my pets posess people by jumping onto their faces and I DON'T KNOW!" Skully started sobbing hysterically. "I'm doomed to fail... Please don't hurt my babies..." Nuhvok rolled his eyes then turned to face his brethren. "That's how you get answers." His anger suddenly switched to surprise as Gahlok slapped him around the face. "You just killed his children!" "He was going to kill us!" "So? You're heartless." Tahnok decided now was time to intervene. "Both of you stop it, of course we're heartless we're machines. But did you hear what the Skull Spider said? We're in a new Bionicle universe and our gimmick has already been taken by these creatures. We need to leave. Find somewhere new. Start off fresh. A clean slate. Right, brothers? Also Nuhvok, apologise to the Skull Spider." Gahlok and Nuhvok both lowered their heads in shame. Nuhvok uttered an apology, and the Skull Spider sniffed. He called off his army of little spiders then sneaked away into the shadows. Once the room had cleared, Pahrak asked what they should do. "Clearly we need to get out of this universe." "How did we get here in the first place?" Nuhvok shrugged. "Well, after the zombie thing, we were all scattered across the multiverse, due to the Mask of Time interacting with our own powers and some other, external force. Everyone else was probably sent home, but..." "Since we're Bionicle beings, perhaps we were teleported alongside all other Bionicle beings?" "No, probably just the Toa Nuva, since they had the Vahi..." Nuhvok shook his head. "I don't know, I'm just guessing." "Better than nothing!" Tahnok tried to be reassuring but failed. "Maybe we went back in time or something?" "Forward, actually." "Forward?" "It's 2015." "Wow... Anyway Nuhvok, we can't go back or forth in time, but surely we can travel through space, yes?" "Theoretically, but I'd need yours and Gahlok's help so we don't end up in the middle of a star or something." "That's incredibly unlikely, considering the vastness of space..." "Shut up, smartalec." "I'm not making it up as I go along..." The other Bohrok all turned to face Nuhvok. "I... I'm not... They're somewhat educated guesses!" Tahnok sighed. "We don't have anything else to go on, and we have to leave this Bionicle world before we screw it up, like we did last time." "Doesn't really matter where, we could build a place of our own..." Kohrak added. "Exactly!" Tahnok brought his brothers together. "Let's face it, Bionicle doesn't need us, and we don't need Bionicle. So, shall we?" "Yes." "Sure!" "Yes!" "Okay!" "Yeah, alright. It'll be risky though. We might, I don't know, end up floating through space forever though." "That's fine, we slept for like ten thousand years anyway, and Lehvak spent a year or so in low orbit. Anywhere has to be better than this place. Nuhvok, what do you need from Gahlok and I?" Nuhvok reached out and put an arm on Tahnok's and Gahlok's shoulders. "I just need you all to grab on to me. I'll do the rest." Everyone did as they were told, and Nuhvok closed his eyes and began to hum. Everything glowed. For a moment, the room was bathed in a hot white light, before everything faded back to black. ... The six Bohrok appeared on the outskirts of a large town, in the middle of a grassy plain. The sun above them was strong and bright. The sky was a pale lilac colour. It seems that no one had seen them arrive apart from a small lizard, which Lehvak accidentally stepped on. In the distance was a road leading to the town, with a sign on it. They decided to head over and give it a read. "Services, 1km... What's a km?" Gahlok asked. "Clearly some unit of measurement. Shall we?" Tahnok replied. "Doesn't seem to be anything else of interest here... Pahrak why are you stuffing grass in your mouth?" "Um, I just wandered what it tasted like. Was hoping it was sugar cane..." "Is it?" Lehvak interrupted. "Nope." "." "Well, perhaps there's some sugar cane in this little town." Kohrak grinned as he headed off towards the small road. But as they got closer to the town, they noticed a familiar face, walking on the path towards them. Green, powerful, somewhat reptilian but with mammalian features too. Carrying a large axe. The being spotted them and headed towards them. "Guys, is that who I think it is?" Pahrak whispered, nudging Nuhvok in the side. "Where did you take us, Nuhvok?" "I... I don't know..." Nuhvok admitted. "Random coordinates?" Kohrak suggested. "Yeah, pretty much..." "That one in ten trillion chance!" They were flabbergasted. The Bohrok all quickly shut up though as the being came closer and closer. It seemed aggressive at first, but once it saw who they were, it holstered its axe on its back. It was tall and somewhat feminine, much taller than the Bohrok, so it got down on one knee to better inspect them. None of the Bohrok moved, feeling slightly scared. Finally, the creature got up again. "Hello, little ones!" Phovos smiled. "Welcome to Palaestra! Welcome to your new home. Trust me, you'll like it here..."

Lehvak-Kal yawned and stretched out his arms. He forgot how short they were. His legs were no better, he realised as he stretched those out too. With another yawn, he stretched out his neck, which quickly retracted back into place. He'd forgotten about that. His body now nice and stretched, Lehvak decided to have a look around. Everything was boring and stony and cave-like. Somewhat familiar, but also somehow not familiar at all. Around him were his five brothers, all still asleep. Apart from that, there was nothing but cave. Dark, dank, gloomy. "Great..." The Bohrok-Kal wondered how long he'd been asleep for. It didn't feel like that long, but there was no way of knowing. As far as Lehvak was concerned, the universe could have ended and they'd slept through it. That particularly worrying thought was interrupted by the clanging of metal. His siblings had woken up. "Bloody Bahrag, where are we?" Nuhvok was, as always, straight to the point. "Oh great. Another cave. Why does it always have to be a cave? We were born in one, we died in one, we fell asleep in one, we woke up in one..." Before Nuhvok could go on a rant about how much he hated caves and how everyone assumed he loved them because of his colour, Kohrak decided to cut in. "This isn't the same cave we fell asleep in." "Pardon?" Nuhvok growled. "That's not possible. I got over my sleep-worm-hole-creation! And no one else here can teleport, can they? You're all being very quiet..." "We're all thinking. You should try it sometime." Tahnok had gotten up and was now wandering around the room. There were two exits that Lehvak hadn't noticed earlier. Then again, it was pretty darn dark in that cave. Pahrak thought it was best to light things up and created a large fire in the middle of the room. With some actual light around to see, the Bohrok realised that the walls were covered in carvings. "Anyone got any idea what any of it says?" "It's certainly not Matoran or anything..." Tahnok ran a hand along one of the walls. "There are some arrows though, pointing to the exits. Or maybe they point to certain death. I don't know. Considering our luck, they probably lead to each other." "Oh stop being such a pessimist, Tahnok. They must go somewhere!" Gahlok sighed. "Which one do we take though?" Pahrak asked. "Either one could lead us anywhere!" Suddenly, Kohrak silenced them all. While the others had been talking nonsense, he'd put his powers to good use. He pointed to the tunnel on the right. "We take that one." "Er, why?" "Because I used my sound powers to echo sounds down the tunnels and the other tunnel is blocked. This one isn't." "That's clever!" Tahnok smiled. "Good work, Kohrak." "Well, someone has to use their brain around here." "Okay that was cruel." "It's true..." "Can we not start this all off with us arguing please?" Pahrak butted in. "It'll make us all angry and upset. Now come on! Let's go!" Pahrak created a ball of plasma to light the way and started skipping down the tunnel. Tahnok and Kohrak apologised to one another and the other Bohrok followed. Minus the skipping, because that's lame. The tunnel was far less interesting than the cave. While the cave had appeared dull, the tunnel WAS dull. There was nothing but stone wall after stone wall, with the occasional twist and turn. But that was it. Oh, and it came to a dead end. "I thought you said this tunnel didn't lead to a dead end?" Nuhvok rolled his eyes. "It was longer than I thought..." Kohrak apologised. "But I can hear something here..." "Oh! Button!" Pahrak interrupted. Before anyone could say "NO DON'T PRESS THAT!", he'd pressed the button. "Huh. Doesn't do anything..." Suddenly, the floor disappeared beneath them, and the six Bohrok started falling.

I ought to add this fairly important bit of headcanon of mine: Vacuum is actually an element of its own, and is far more powerful than many people believe. But since there's never been a Toa of Vacuum, no one's really bothered to look into it. I've taken this even further within my own personal universe (the Phoviverse - I'm working on a website about it all) where Vacuum beings can only be born from virgin births and are powerful enough to destroy huge swathes of space by making it all tumble into a more true vacuum. On the flip side, Sonics is a much weaker element than most make out. This also influences my order of most powerful Bohrok-Kal: Lehvak-Kal, Nuhvok-Kal, Pahrak-Kal, Kohrak-Kal, Tahnok-Kal, Gahlok-Kal.

Kopaka would steal the show.

Kanoka discs always bothered me because the disc would always fall out. Squid launchers were hard to use and were not at all accurate. Cordak blasters were hit or miss (heh) while firing and one would always not fire. Sky Blasters were too big and bulky, and Phantoka Kopaka ended up with no sword because of them. Krana are great and amazing but as a firing mechanism, the Bohrok head-shield could get in the way. Kraata thingies are not projectiles really plus they're not meant to be thrown. Never owned a Midak Skyblaster or Shadow Leech launcher. Rhotuka spinners were great to use but never fit well on the beings that used them because of the ripcords. Zamor launchers and Thornax launchers were both great but I lost a lot of ammo, but on the flip side, they are easy to build into other things. So they win. Oops.

I always assumed it was the mask of popsicles and ice lollies. Not of much use to the Master of Fire.

I'm looking now, shipping for me is £4, or about €6. I'm willing to wait until April (when my birthday is) but if not, I'll bite the bullet and order online.

If we have sharks, they NEED to have lasers on their heads.

Well, it's January. For most people, it'll be time to purchase the new Bionicle sets. But I'm worried that I won't be able to get ANY of the new sets until August. Why? Because the summer sets for Ninjago, Legends of Chima and Hero Factory for 2014 have only just become available locally. Is anyone else worried about availability or anything or is this just the small islander in me talking? Where do you recommend buying sets online? Shipping to Cyprus can get expensive and I'm not in the mood to wait until summer or drive 100km to get Pohatu and Kopaka. (Also, feel free to move this if it's in the wrong forum.)