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  1. This is a songfic based on the music video Bionicle Hero. The funny thing is I envisioned this years ago, but the images stuck with me. Finally I got around to writing it just recently, and I think it turned out rather well, actually. Thankfully the forums are back online and I can post it. By the way, if you've never heard "Bionicle Hero", you'll want to look it up. Great song.                                 Bionicle Hero As you're on your way back home, Something catch your eyes untold.     One fine sunny day on the island of Mata Nui, I was taking a stroll down from Ga-Koro to my home in Ta-Koro. I'd just been doing some business in Ga-Koro and was now returning home. I am a Ta-Matoran, if you could not guess, and my name is Taku. The Bohrok swarms had just recently been defeated by our noble and heroic Toa, who were then transformed into Toa Nuva. All on the island was now peaceful, save the odd Rahi trouble. As I was saying, I was on my way down this path, when in a clump of bushes up ahead I saw something very strange. I couldn't tell quite what it was, but it sparkled in the sun. I drew closer, pushed my way through the bushes, and found myself in the center of a vegatative ring. In the center, protruding from the dirt, was a little sack of widgets. Well, what do you know? Who could have left these here? I supposed it did not matter, as there weren't very many widgets. But as I pulled it free, the sand under it started draining downwards, as if it were being sucked into the ground. I realized that indeed it was being sucked in and my heart stopped. Quicksand! The hole was widening at an alarming rate, so I turned to run. But too late. The sand under my feet was collapsing under me. I struggled, but in vain. I slid into the pit. When I reached bottom, however, I was surprised to find myself flying through space. The light of day disappeared above me and I sank into a dark void. Finally, I landed on my side with a terrible jolt. I rose slowly to my feet.     Fear of darkness lingers here. Tremble as you get the fear...     I looked about me and realized I was underground. Above me I could see a circle of light, but sand was still falling and I coughed and my vision was obscured. I retrieved a lightstone from my pack and looked about. I whistled. What a cave. It stretched in every direction farther than the lightstone could make clear to me, and made up an entire landscape in itself. There were pillars of stone rising high in the air, cliffs rising and falling, and a river cutting and winding its way through the place. I couldn't believe such a place existed down here, and one I'd never known of before. There was something strange about this cave, too. As my eyes began to adjust to the darkness, I noticed strange lights in the distance, at varying points, and the texture of the stone was almost. . . Creepy. The more I looked about, the more I began to feel strange twinges of fear. But why should I? I did not understand. It was just a cave, after all. But then, things often lurked in caves, did they not? All the same I knew there must be a way out somewhere. I retrieved the sack of widgets and placed it in my pack. Knowing there wasn't likely to be anyone along the road above at this time of day, and remembering the principal that says water always flows downwards, I set off to follow the river towards its point of origin.     Now you're on the cornerstone, Fearing you'd be left alone.     I followed the river as far as I could walk. It had taken me an hour to get there. The head of the river broke free from under the cavern wall, and there was no way to follow it without swimming. Being a Ta-Matoran I was natuarally averse to the idea, and besides that I still had an unnatural feeling of fear in this place, but there was nothing else for it. I would have to brave it and swim. A few long-held breaths and thorough soakings later I realized I would be unable to follow the river any farther. There were no air pockets within my reach of this point.     Who will lose, who will prevail? Who will tell the final tale...?     Suddenly, I shivered, and not just from the cold. The nagging feeling of fear suddenly came on me again, only stronger this time. In all the time I'd been in the cave it hadn't left me. Being a long-time member of the Ta-Koro Guard I liked to pride myself a bit on my instinct, and I wondered what manner of beasts might be lurking in here. I set off at perhaps a bit quick of a pace along the wall, praying I would find an exit. Suddenly I saw something out of the corner of my eye. I jerked my head in that direction. Had something just darted behind that pillar. . . ? My heart-rate quickened, as did my pace.     There it goes, Again.     Dust kicked up behind my pattering feet as I searched desperately for a way out. I could not understand what was causing me to behave so irrationally. But there! I saw movement again! I still could not make anything out when I turned to look, but I realized I was not alone in this cave. And something or someone was following me.     There it goes, Again.     I ran on, casting frequent glances over my shoulder, certain that something was after me. I didn't have long to wait before I discovered what it was. Something darted out in front of me. I skidded to a halt, and jumped back from the creature that had surprised me. It was a Bohrok. Oh, is that all? Mind you, they were quite dangerous, but I'd fought a good many Bohrok in the war alongside my fellow Guards, even with my bare hands. I didn't fear them any more than dangerous Rahi. Unless they were Lehvak. Lehvak sent shivers through even our noble Captain, Jaller. I stood my ground, setting my expression to that of defiance. The Bohrok stepped into the radius of light cast by my lightstone. Instantly I was taken aback. Something about this one, its sleeker, stronger body, the sickly patterns spread across it, made the feeling of horror return to me stronger than ever. I couldn't help myself. When it raised its shields and pointed them at me, I leaped to the side and ran off a few yards. Just as I did, the ground behind me exploded, bits of melting rock flying in every direction. If I hadn't moved, I would've been dead. The Bohrok turned slowly to look at me, then jerked its head at me. Chik! Chik! I quickly evaluated the best course of action. I fled for my life.     Do you know, What it takes to be a Hero? When you're lost, A piece of love, a piece of you.     I quickly realized that there was more than one Bohrok after me as I ran on, and the feelings of terror only grew worse. Glimpses of them told me they were part of the same elite group, as Elite Bohrok I realized they must be. I heard the crackle of an energy blast behind me. I leaped to the side, a pillar was struck and began to crumble. But it would lay in my path, if it landed in front of me they would catch me. I put on a short burst of speed and slid under just as it was about to squash me. I lay on my back, and was breathing hard. Which meant I wasn't dead. I slowly raised myself from the ground and looked back at the wall now lying between my pursurers and I. I laughed quietly to myself. Then two of them leaped to the top of the pillar and jerked thier heads down at me. Chik! Chik! Chik! Chik! With fresh vigour, I resumed my mad dash. Bursts of power struck the ground around me, clouds of shrapnel flying in the air. Just like the Tahnok invasion of Ta-Koro. One blast landed just shy of me and sent me flying. No, worse, worse! I quickly found my feet and ran on. During the midst of this I dropped my lightstone, and I was forced to run blindly in the dark. By now my eyes were more or less well-adjusted to the blackness, but I still found myself stumbling off small cliffs and nearly crashing into pillars.     Do you have, What it takes to beat the Fearless? In your heart, To grow up strong, and undo wrong?     One time I found myself floating in the air, feeling weightless, only to be sent flying, my body feeling as if different parts were being pulled in different directions. The Bohrok hissed at each other behind me as if they'd gotten in each other's way. A bolt of electrical energy surged past me and began forming itself into a wall, but I swerved aside it just before it could stretch far enough to block my path. I soon indentified several of their powers: Gravity, magnetism, electricity, and something very hot and explosive, but I couldn't tell quite what it was. Science lesson over, I kept moving. Bursts of energy checkered the vicinity, breaking pillars, sending rock flying through the air, even putting a few holes in the ceiling. Whatever these things were, they didn't strike me as discreet.     To grow up strong, and undo wrong.     The flashes of energy began to dwindle, until finally my pursuers seemed to give up the chase. I couldn't bear to stop running just yet. My legs bore me on a good distance farther before I stopped, panting very hard, behind a pillar. My body was used to terrible exertions, especially after everything in the the Bohrok War. Even so it took me a few minutes to regain my breath and my bearings. Finally I set off at a brisk pace, my every sense alert for the first sign of danger. I didn't know where I was going, but I wasn't going to find my way out by just sitting there, now was I?     Walking down that well-worn road, Something changed but who would know?     I walked along what seemed to be a defined path, with rows of well-spaced pillars running along either side, but for what point and purpose the road existed I could not fathom. As far as I knew no Matoran had ever set foot here, and I'd lived on this island for a millenium, so who in the world had built this? Then it hit me. Bohrok. Cave. This place must be connected to the Bohrok Hives. . . . Yes, that explained it. Although it didn't look quite like any hives I'd seen or had heard described, but I felt that that must be the explanation. Suddenly, I thought I heard a noise. A very, very small noise, and, I thought, from somewhere above me. Yet it was so faint that even with my senses on edge I thought I might have imagined it. I picked up the pace a bit regardless, wondering what possible strategy I could use against those monsters if they returned, and what environmental location would best suit it.     The smile you get is poison-willed, The color you once knew is killed.     Bam. A cloud of dust rose up in front of me, and I froze in terror. The dust cleared. One of the Bohrok turned slowly around to look at me. Close as it was, it seemed to be smiling with glee out of the darkness.     And as you realize what's wrong, The dirt under your feet is gone.     Bam. Bam. Bam. I turned from the first Bohrok only to find another one landing in that direction. Then another, and another. All six landed in a circle around me, and I found myself face-to-face with the one resembling a Tahnok. I always liked to pride myself, just a bit, on my ability to stand firm in the face of terrible odds. But something about this cave. . . . It just wasn't natural, it did something to me. Something I'd never experienced to this degree before. In my shock and horror, I felt the ground shift under me. The dirt was gone from under my feet, and I found myself landing heavily on my side.     The enemy looks in your eyes. Now it's time to make it right.     Despite my trepidation, I looked up at the creature, intending to meet my fate bravely. The monster bent down to me and looked me in the eyes, seeming to radiate with malicious glee. My face fell. The emotions roiled inside me. I slowly rose into a kneeling position. I remembered the way I'd felt about the Bohrok during the war, I remembered the mad heart-stopping chase through this cavern, I could still see the smug face looking down on me. Then I did something very brave, and very, incredibly, foolish. But I had no intention of dying on my knees. I'd prefer to die fighting anyway. I pulled back my arm and focused all my energy into a terrific punch, delivered straight into the creature's triumphant countenance. The metal of my fist connected with the metal of the monster's face. To my incredible surprise, the Bohrok was thrown into the air, as if my strength had increased a hundred-fold. What?     Do you know, What it takes to be a Hero? When you're lost, A piece of love, a piece of you.     I was incredulous. My eyes must surely have deceived me. I couldn't have sent that Bohrok to where it lay, momentarily stunned, a dozen feet away. Then I heard a noise behind me and I turned. Chik! Chik! Chik! Chik! Chik! Chik! Chik! Chik! Chik! The creatures chittered like mad as a newcomer invaded their victory party. A Toa-sized figure landed beside me, pressed my head down, and spun in a circle. His sword of fire blazed as flames erupted in a circle, sending the creatures backward. He knelt beside me. "On my back, now!" Instantly I was on my feet and scrambling onto his back as he stood. He was indeed a Toa, and the red armor betrayed the identity of Toa Tahu. "Now hold on tight!" The Bohrok had gathered in front of us. Tahu leaped over their heads in a terrific somersault. A stream of energy flashed our way. A crescent of flame altered its course. We landed. He spun around. He sent a wall of fire toward the creatures. So began an epic battle of incredible power.     Do you have, What it takes to beat the Fearless? In your heart, To grow up strong, and undo wrong?     It was a terrific battle. Power lanced in both directions. Tahu's battle cries and exertion were terrific, matched as he was against six foes, each of power equal to his own. He sought to outrun them, dodging and deflecting all the way. A wall of sound struck us. I screamed and was nearly forced to loosen my hold to cover my ears, but a well-aimed firebolt came to the result of ending the noise. We ran on. A molten pit opened up before us, but my rescuer jumped clear and we ran on. Gravity was lessened. We found ourselves floating in the air. Tahu aimed his sword of flame behind us and jetted us forwards. Gravity increases. He aims the jet below to slow our fall, switching to his Mask of Strength, then runs on at normal speed. All was mindless action and reaction, with me hanging on for dear life as he fought. A pillar ahead of us is struck by a lightning bolt and begins to fall. It nearly crushes us, but we roll out of the way just in time. The pillar explodes behind us as we dash on. A cyclone strikes us and flings us through the air. Inside the cyclone, I find myself unable to breath. Worse, I can't even feel any wind. I can't breathe because there is no air in the cyclone, which really isn't a cyclone but a whirling mass of seeming nothiness. Then we're thrown clear of it, but I lose my grip and fall. I can't see Tahu, but a Bohrok is on me in an instant. Then I hear a defiant bellow behind me and a burst of flames sends the beast before me running for cover. The other Bohrok gather up, and I start running. Tahu runs over, picks me up and saddles me on my his back. I hold on for dear life once more as the mad chase continues.     To grow up strong, and undo wrong.     Finally, inexplicably, we find the entrance to a smaller cave. But somehow the Bohrok managed to reach it before us. Snarling, they leap at us. Tahu snarls back and leaps at them. After a brief but more direct skirmish, involving a lot of being jolted and jostled about on my part as we fly around with his sword flashing, along with fire, electricity, sound waves, gravity beams, magnetism and I didn't know what else filling the air, we find ourselves next to the entrance. We dash into it. Spinning on his heel, Tahu unleashes a terrific wave of fire into the cave, washing over the Bohrok. Their chitterous whines and screams are heard scrambling off. Then he launches a fireball that strikes the roof of the entrance and sent huge boulders falling into the cave between us and the Bohrok. He waits a moment to listen. Yes, the Bohrok had definitely run off, if those screams attest anything. Or most of them. Nevertheless, panting heavily, Tahu turns on his heel once more and continues on at a reasonable trot. "Ugh, Bohrok-Kal", he spat. "Troublesome creatures, aren't they? And yet they do have their purpose." He seemed lost in thought for a moment. There was nothing I could say. I still panted heavily, I was numb, and the cave wouldn't stop spinning. "Hey, you alright back there? I was trying to save your life, and I, uh, hope I've succeeded." He shifted me off of his back to hold me in his arms. Normally I would have found it just a little bit awkard of a position, but under the circumstances the thought didn't even cross my mind. I stared up into his friendly Hau-bearing face. "I- I-" I gasped for breath. "I think I'm alright, Toa Tahu. That is if I'm just dizzy and this cave isn't actually spinning." He chuckled. "I'm afraid not. Regular old cave." "Well then, I'll live." "Thank Mata Nui for that! You seem to have a knack for getting yourself in trouble, little one." He looked at me, a flash of worry momentarily crossing his face as he looked aside. Then it passed and he smiled again. "Yes, well, being in the Ta-Koro Guard, that tends to happen." "Ah, yes, I suppose it does. Even so, you are too im- . . ." He shook his head. "Never mind. You've done great service to your people in the past, and I'm sure Mata Nui is proud of you." I smiled at that. Then I frowned. "Wait a moment. Toa Tahu, did you call those things 'Bohrok-Kal'? How do you know what they are? Were you told of them by the Turaga?" "How do I know?" He thought for a moment. "Well, that's what they are, aren't they?" His eyes twinkled, or so I assumed in the darkness. I raised an eyepiece. What was he talking about? Finally we reached the entrance to the cave and I forgot my confusion. I leapt from his arms, kissed the ground, and raised my arms to the sky from knee-position, thanking Mata Nui. "Daylight!" Tahu laughed and walked out beside me. I beamed at him, more fond of our brave hero now than ever, only to stop and gape. "Wait. . . wait a moment." That mask was a Hau alright, but it wasn't a Hau Nuva. But I'd seen Tahu several times since his transformation. He smiled at me. "No, it's not a Hau Nuva I'm wearing, is it?" I also noticed that the armor was all wrong. "You're. . . you're. . ." "No. I'm not Tahu." I waited a moment, digesting this information. "What? But then who. . . ?" He chuckled, then saw something behind me. Striding over, he reached down and picked up a Kakama off the ground. "For goodness' sake! There you are! I must have dropped you in my haste to get here." He groaned. "It would have been a lot easier in there if you had been there." He rolled his eyes and put the mask in his pack. "Well, anyway, it turned out alright, eh Taku?" Not only was he not Tahu, but some strange seventh Toa, when as far as I knew there'd only ever been six, and we Matoran had certainly never seen this being before, but he also knew my name. Suspicions nagged at the corners of my mind, but I pushed them off. He had, after all, just risked his neck to save mine. Then another realization hit me. "'On your way here?' How on earth did you know I was going to be down there?" He frowned, thinking. He glanced at me, then returned to thought. It seemed he hadn't intended to let that slip. I sighed, stood up, walked over, and grasped his arm. "Thank you." He smiled down at me. He raised his fist, as if in a friendly gesture, but then seeming to catch himself he lowered it and patted my on the top of the mask instead. "It's what we do, little one. But now I must go. No more getting mixed with these Bohrok-Kal creatures, understand? Take care, little one." He retrieved the Kakama, bore it, and was off, a cloud of dust speeding towards the horizon. What a strange Toa. . . . I turned and shook my head, then stopped. "Oh, shoot. I left my pack in the cave. I'd saved up a hundred widgets, too. Well, I've more at home and of course my life is worth a lot more than that anyway." I chuckled, still somewhat numb, and meandered off in the general direction of Ta-Koro, undecided as to whether I would report this strange occurence to the Turaga. What a day. . .
  2. Isn't it so great to be home? I've missed the smell of old cheetos in between the cushions... Uh, wait... I didn't say that. Anyways... With BZPower back, so is T&T. But wait, you ask? Why is the title back to it's orriginal? Well, this IS the sequel, but the titles been reverted back to just Fun with Taka & Tahu for a reason that shall be announced after school today. Until then, I am very pleased to present to you, after a long battle with BZP's editor to do so, all the current chapters, and one new one, of my comedy! Ah... It's so good to be home... Just note I have not gotten the chance to spell check as I'm kind of in a rush, but I will do so as soon as I get out of school today. PROLOGUE: THEB-TEAM Tahu sat at the bar drinking, as the people around him moved through the high class party's floor like rich people showing off how rich they were. Because they really where rich people showing off how rich they were. But Tahu sat there ignoring it all, wallowing in self pity as he threw back (milk) after (milk), literally, all seeming to land on an unsuspecting Icarax standing in the middle of the floor for now reason. ICARAX: Great… This is going to get trapped in my armor, and it's going to sour… Just dandy… Icarax went to move out of the way of the (milk) projectiles, as suddenly he slipped on the (milk) covered dance floor, landing flat on his face. As he slipped, his shoe shot off his foot and into an abandoned microphone on the stage, knocking it over into the amplifier, causing the amplifier to short circuit. Then a fire started, going up the stage curtains and around the room until hitting a book of matches. One of the lit matches then rolled over and hit the (milk), which against the laws of physics lit on fire. The fire then continued to travel across the small puddle toward Icarax, lighting him on fire. ICARAX: OH MATA NUI!! OH DEAR MATA NUI HELP!! I'M ON FIRE!! MATA NUI SAVE ME!! The crowd of rich people ignoring him because he was not rich enough to buy their attention, Icarax continued to jump out of the window. After which he realized he was on the top floor. *splat* Tahu continued to just sit there, wallowing in his pity, as Takanuva and his friend, Artakha, walked over. TAKANUVA: Tahu, you have to get over this. Gali left you three months ago. I just have gotten you to come back to work. Tahu groaned and shot back (again, literally threw it over his back) another glass of (milk). TAKANUVA: So, I was talking to this guy, who is here with his friend - Takanuva points to Turaga Whenua, who is sitting in a corner proposing to a rich model who is three times his height. When she says no, he pulls out the ring, which is a whole diamond, and she suddenly changes her mind. TAKANUVA: - who recently discovered a diamond mine, and he's agreed to help cheer you up so we can do what we have to and get out of here. Tahu just shrugs and throws another glass over his shoulder. Takanuva walks away as Artakha takes a seat. TAHU: So-sh I guess-sh you're going to say life-sh has a whole bunches-sh of meanings-sh-ness huh-sh? ARTAKHA: No. It's just pointless. Everyone's life is. You just go through it, looking forward to the day you die so you no longer have to hurt… Tahu turned to him strangely. TAHU: Huh-sh? ARTAKHA: I was agreeing with you. Life is pointless pain. There's no sense in it. It's like a death, and death is the only real life… TAHU: And what-sh do you-sh do for a living-sh…? ARTAKHA: I'm a motivational speaker… Until I got fired… I hate life… Tahu just got up and walked away. Artakha shrugged. ARTAKHA: Everybody hates me… He then shot back a glass of (milk) (this one was not literally, he actually drunk the (milk)), then went over to the window next to the one Icarax jumped out of and jumped. Only to realize he jumped right onto the fire escape. ICARAX: C'MON!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME!! THE SUICIDAL GUY LANDS ON THE FIRE ESCAPE!! WHAT TYPE OF SICK JOKE IS THIS!! Tahu walked over to another bar, and sat down, beginning the same process over and over again. This time, the Element Lord of Milk was sitting next to him. ELEMENT LORD: You about r - He notices Tahu's tired eyes, his messed up and dirty suit, his scratched up Kanohi Hau, and his (milk) mustache (which is actually on his shoulder and his lip). ELEMENT LORD: Dude, there's something different about you? Seriously? I can't place what it is though? Tahu's arm slumped off the counter, and he fell with it. He didn't get back up, not even caring to. ELEMENT LORD: That's it! You're wearing a different color of red armor today! Yeah, that's definitely it… The Element Lord's phone began playing the theme to Titanic, and he picked it up. The ringtone earned him a few weird glances first. ELEMENT LORD: What? Who doesn't love that song? He looked at the text on the screen, then got up out of his chair turned to Tahu, who was at this point on the floor in the fetal position crying into a Gali Mata toy. ELEMENT LORD: Quite acting like BZPower when BIONICLE ended, it's time to go! The Element Lord, instead of walking out the front door, he slipped on a ski mask and pulled a semiautomatic (water gun, but only he and the B-Team new that on), and walked into the middle of the crowd where he was soon joined by the rest of the B-Team, all similarly dressed. Before joining the B-Team though, the Smoke Monster stopped at Tahu. SMOKE MONSTER: Look, we've got this one, find something to cheer yourself up. Tahu nodded like a robot, then looked up and noticed a glass of (milk), suddenly realizing that in his depression he had not been drinking, only throwing it over his shoulder. And so, the light bulb came on. And as soon as he moved his hand away from the light switch, he had an idea too. ELEMENT LORD: EVERYBODY!! THIS IS A HOLD UP!! GIVE US ALL YOUR MONEY!! All the rich people in the party just ignored them. ELEMENT LORD: Why are they ignoring me? ARGY: They're rich, they only pay attention to people that pay them. The Element Lord nodded and pulled out his wallet, and like a moth to the flame the rich people suddenly paid them their full attention. ELEMENT LORD: Well, that worked… The crowd of rich people began approaching, sniffing the air like police dogs after criminals. TAKANUVA: Yeah, too much it looks like… The stampede began, the crowd of rich people after the money like wolves after steak, and no one noticed the now fully drunk Tahu getting up on stage. TAHU: Hello-sh lady-sh and gentle-sh!! He never noticed he was now speaking to an empty room. TAHU: I have-sh something to say-sh. My wife-sh recently-sh left me-sh for her boyfriend-sh pool boy-sh… Now-sh, now-sh… I don't-sh want-sh any pity-sh… But I do-sh have something-sh for you all-sh tonight… I-sh shall sing-sh a song-sh, dedicated-sh to my evil-sh wife-sh… Are you all-sh ready… aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh Somewhere inside the rich people's apartment building, Argy and the Lewa Fan stopped for a breather from the running, when suddenly out of nowhere they were attacked by a rich person, who has somehow managed to climb on the wall like some Spider-Man wannabe. uuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhh Takanuva and the Smoke Monster ran for their lives as the savage rich people after the money of the poor crawled on the walls, acting as mindless and wild as zombies. And suddenly, Will smith jumped out of nowhere, but was mauled by the rich zombies. oooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhoooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhoooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh Hearing the commotion inside, a black Honda Civic known as the Nuimobile drove into a drive through of an unmarked building. INGEITUM: Yeah, um… What do you want Hero? HERO: I'll take the Maczooka. INGEITUM: I think that's what I'll be having too. They drove up to the window and a weird looking Makuta named Junkyard leaned out and gave them their orders. JUNKYARD: Come back now, y'all hear! Do da do, do doo, doo do doo, do da doo, do doo do da doo,Do da do, do doo, doo do doo, do da doo, do doo do da doo,Do da do, do doo, doo do doo, do da doo, do doo do da doo,This big old polar bear,I just ain't where it's at anymoreSo don't let the door hit me in the face when I leaveI throw you in the fire to save my giftI'm a pretty little liarWhen you call I put out fightersThen just come clean The Element Lord ran into the bathroom, not notice it was the women's, and into the nearest stall. There, he stopped for a second to catch his breath, not noticing two zombie rich people crawling over the stalls and looking down. When he finally did notice them, he screamed like a girl. ELEMENT LORD: First off, I don’t scream like that!! ERASE THAT LINE!! And two, you rich zombies have horrible bathroom manners!! Get on the low train because it's cheapThen they fly like a birdie in the skyYou already knowI'm throwing you upThen letting you downStop pretending I'm going to spin aroundYou already know no, no, no, noYou already know no, no, no, noDon't askI know As if straight out of a Scooby-Doo cartoon, Hero and Ingeitum danced the electric slide with several of the zombies as the B-Team and their friends ran up and down the halls, going in one door and coming out another. I was the shoulder you beat onYou made me feel like the next bondDouble zero five nine two three sixBut while I heard you saying earYou started breaking the ground on a new Star Trek Crawling through the air vents of the building due to his small size, Argy managed to escape from the zombies. That is until he fell through the floor and caught Hero and Ingeitum dancing with them. ARGY: Traitors! Hero and Ingeitum just shrugged, then pulled out their Maczooka's and started shooting at the zombies. So get on the low train because it's cheapThen they fly like a birdie in the skyYou already knowI'm throwing you upThen letting you downStop pretending I'm going to spin aroundYou already know no, no, no, noYou already know no, no, no, noDon't askI know Running back into the top apartment as Tahu does a drunken running man while singing, they all noticed the Nuimobile, which had apparently been parked there somehow when Hero and Ingeitum came in. You're already a waitressI'm crazyAt least the one side I knew TAKANUVA: Tahu!! C'mon!! We've got to go!! Tahu just continued singing as the zombies entered the room. So get on the low train because it's cheapThen they fly like a birdie in the skyYou already knowI'm throwing you upThen letting you downStop pretending I'm going to spin aroundYou already know no, no, no, noYou already know no, no, no, noDon't askI know Tahu, after finishing his big finale, passed out into another one of his depressions, and Takanuva just dragging into the Nuimobile with the others as they flew out the top story window. But, suddenly realized the jets that made it fly was out of gas, so they all plummeted to the earth. Down at the bottom, Icarax managed to drag himself up just in time for the Nuimobile to crash on him. ICARAX: This figures… CHAPTER 1: V FOR V-TEAM Terridax continue his digging, as he had been doing all night long, in a desperate attempt to escape his cell. Unfortunately plastic silverware did not work very well, his psychopathic cellmate Bone Crusher, who belongs on an asylum and not a detention center, notices he is gone and decides to come looking for his 'best bud', and the mean guard Brutaka notices he's gone. Talk about a day. As he was digging, suddenly he noticed something… The ground was shaking. TERRIDAX: Is it an earthquake? As he struggle to figure out why the very ground under his feet was shaking, something began blocking out the lamps he had hung on the roof like an underground eclipse, and suddenly it was all too obvious. He had found him. And no matter how much he wished it had been the brutish guard Brutaka, it was not, for the shadow was well to large, rivaling that of Godzilla's shadow, despite its roundness, the muscular silhouette could be made out. BONE CRUSHER: Where is buddy going? Buddies don't go bye, bye without telling friend! Terridax stared up at the towering beast of a man, who weighed approximately 700 pounds in fat, but 800 in nothing but muscle, as the beast stared back with tears welling in his eyes. Despite the sign of weakness, Terridax's fear did not dissipate; it only grew for he knew what would come after was not very pleasant. BONE CRUSHER (Crying): You *sniff* hate *sniff* Bone *sniff* Crusher *sniff* don't *sniff* you *sniff*. TERRIDAX: No! Buddy, I - I just, I - BONE CRUSHER: BECAUSE THAT MAKES ME ANGRY!! Terridax fell flat on his butt as the massive inmate crashed his foot, the size of a boulder, down to the ground. Causing a massive shake in the earth's crust, sending a tsunami the height of five empire state building crashing into the coasts of Europe. TERRIDAX: No! I was making a play tunnel for you and me to have fun!! Bone Crusher's tears began to dissipate, and he stopped suddenly. We realize he was at this point hold Terridax across his leg, his head in one hand and both legs in the other, about to snap the Makuta in two. BONE CRUSHER: Really… *sniff* Bone Crusher like… Bone Crusher wants to help. TERRIDAX: Oh, no Boney, I've got it. You don't have to - Before Terridax could finish, the massive man had already begun. Holding the Makuta like a shovel, using his face as the business end and his legs as handles, he began shoveling away the dirt. Ignoring the muffled screams from the Makuta as his head was pounded into the rocks. TERRIDAX (Muffled): Melp!! Melp!! My meed melp!! Unfortunately, Terridax just passed out one he realized he had swallowed a worm.________________________________________________________ Elsewhere at that very moment, somewhere in a high security facility known as Stars Banking, owned by none other than the corporate giant in the modern world, Macrosoft Industries, three silhouetted figures walked up to the electrified gate. The figure in the middle, we assume as the leader, began combing his fluffy hair, then put on a strange mask and he suddenly realize he's not human. He's Toa. But with good hair. Covering and protecting the fluffy haven on his head using the specially made Kanohi that works like a helmet, the figure then clenched the comb, which we notice is about 12 inches long and has a handle making it like some cool cross with the ease of use of a brush but the awesome combing action of a regular comb, the Bromb (patent pending), as he and the other two figures approached the gate ignoring the 'No Trespassing' signs. As alarms went off and zamors began shooting from high in the air, the three silhouetted Toa, including the leader with great hair, where ready. One used a strange device similar in resemblance to that of kohli stick as a weapon, using it to knock the incoming zamors away like baseballs. The other seem to be using the element of fire to shoot the zamors, but is constantly unsuccessful and just lights himself on fire, however that is possible for a Toa, and stops drops and rolls as zamors continuously pummel him. However, the leader with great hair uses his Bromb (patent pending) as if it were a dagger, slicing the zamors in half in mid air. Jumping onto the gate, the leader with great hair cut straight through the metal with his Bromb (patent pending), and the group continued inside. Not looking back.________________________________________________________ TAKANUVA: 'Strange assailants broke into the world renowned high security facility, the Stars -' ???: STARS BANKING YOU FOOLS!! TUMA HAS SPOKEN!! TAKANUVA: Who's Tuma? I don't know, anyway… 'the Stars Banking secure holding facility, taking not money, as that had been emptied the day before due to plans to move the facility within Manhattan, but taking schedules for the transfer. Officials say the transfer shall be secured and Macrosoft's fundraising event tonight shall not be interrupted due to the minor setback.' Takanuva, sitting at the kitchen table in the Warehouse, placed the newspaper down. He stood up and looked around. After the heist last year when they broke into the Macrosoft headquarters, the two Order members decided to go rogue and join the B-Team as honorary members due to a distrust of the Order's current leader. So, they moved the B-Teams based here: to the Warehouse, where they've literally set up a home. Using the Nuicave as the actual base. At that moment, the Smoke Monster walked in and got some coffee, apparently having just woken up. TAKANUVA: Have you read the paper this morning? SMOKE MONSTER: Nope, just woke up. What's in it? TAKANUVA: Someone tried to break into the Stars Banking facility last night. I think it's not their first job either. SMOKE MONSTER: You think it's another team? TAKANUVA: Yeah, it's kind of weird… Suddenly, realization hit them both. TAKANUVA: Oh dear Mata Nui, the Element Lord cannot see this! He'll go crazy!! The Smoke Monster was already ahead of his friend, having snatched the paper and threw it into the blender until it was completely liquefied. After having dodged that bullet, the two walked into the living room to watch some TV. Coming into the kitchen as they left though, was of course Icarax. ICARAX: Oh, look. Somebody made a breakfast shake. Walking over to the blender, Icarax poured himself a glass of the thick liquid. ICARAX: Ewe… Ah well, the worst it tastes the better it is for you. Gulping down the whole glass, Icarax's eyes instantly went wide. He spat the disgusting liquid at the wall, but it was so thick it just bounced off. It finally stopped when it hit a bowling ball that was resting on the fridge. The bowling ball the rolled off its high perch, landing on Icarax's toe. Screaming in pain, Icarax began hopping up and down holding his hurt foot in pain, until he hopped over too close to the window and fell right out. Soon after he fell out, the Element Lord walked in. As he walked through the doorway, he suddenly stopped, smelling something. Getting down on all fours and smelling like a police dog after an escaping fugitive, the Element Lord's nose lead him right to the source: the blender. ELEMENT LORD: I smell a challenge!!________________________________________________________ ARTAKHA: So, you see, that's when my grandma died after he kitty Smoochie keeled over in front of her after having been bitten by the carnivorous mountain lion. She's so happy now, in death you know… Because dying is the only way to live… INGEITUM: That's what I say to all my victims before I kill them. The two sat at the dining room table as a mopping Tahu walked in. Tahu noticed Artakha there, and tried to turn around but they noticed him. INGEITUM: Hey Tahu! C'mon over here and talk to this guy! He's awesome!! TAHU: No thanks, I already want to kill myself enough right now… Tahu just walked out, and Ingeitum shrugged and got up to go work on the Nuimobile. Artakha just sighed. ARTAKHA: I'm always alone… He got up and walked to the window, opening it up and jumping out. Unfortunately, he landed directly on a mattress being carried by two FedEx workers. ARTAKHA: I'm so unlucky… I hate myself… ICARAX: C'MON!! HE GET'S THE MATTRESS!!________________________________________________________ Tahu sat in the living room, watching his reruns of Gali's favorite sixties sitcom I Love Lewa as he threw back (again, this is meant literally) his (milk). Watching him from across the room, the Smoke Monster and Argy sat in the Lazyboys, far enough back where Tahu couldn't hear them. SMOKE MONSTER: Tahu's not been drinking (milk) anymore. I actually think this is a bad thing. I mean, there was this whole ordeal when I still lived in Texas where I got ran over by a drunk driver - ARGY: Really, tell that story. SMOKE MONSTER: I can't, I was hit so hard I lost all my memory for months. Beyond that point, I have no idea what my life was like. Argy pretended he didn't care, being his usual sarcastic smart-remarking self, even though he really did, care he made sure no one knew that. SMOKE MONSTER: It kind of traumatized me. I mean, I definitely don't approve of Tahu's drinking for this, but he really needs it. I mean, look at him! Tahu continued to pour (milk) into his glass and throw it over his shoulder, not noticing that the container was out of (milk) so all he was throwing back was air. ARGY: That is pathetic. But why should I care if he's happy? SMOKE MONSTER: Because he's on your team. ARGY: Yeah, I work with the guy. It's not like we're the best of pals. SMOKE MONSTER: And if you don't help me then you'll never see the sun rise. Argy just snickered, both the consumption of the delicious snack bar and the form of a low sounded laugh with a smirk. ARGY: Yeah, sure… The Smoke Monster, being a smoke monster, suddenly turned into smoke, and flew into Argy's ear (or whatever the Matoran equivalent should be). Suddenly, Argy could no longer see. ARGY: AH! Get out of my head!! The Smoke Monster did so, and flew back into his chair and turned back into his Toa form. ARGY: Fine! But when it doesn't work, leave me alone! The Smoke Monster grinned. SMOKE MONSTER: Good then. No matter how much we dislike it, Tahu needs to start back drinking. Tahu, sitting on the couch, finally realized he was out of (milk), and turned to Takanuva, who was sitting beside him with the phone to his ear. TAHU: Takanuva… TAKANUVA: Yeah? TAHU: Could you go get me some more (milk)? TAKANUVA: Sure, I can do that. He didn't. TAHU: Takanuva, are you going to? Please. TAKANUVA: Yeah, sure, I'll take care of that tomorrow. TAHU: Why? There's more in the kitchen? TAKANUVA: Well I'm sorry! TAHU: For what? TAKANUVA: I don't care about your feelings anymore!! You lost that months ago!! Tahu jumped back shocked. TAKANUVA: WHY ARE YOU JUMPING DOWN MY THROAT ON THIS!! TAHU: I'm not!! You are!! TAKANUVA: OH DON'T GIVE ME YOUR LIES!! I KNOW YOU'RE WITH HIM!! TAHU: I'm with you!! TAKANUVA: DON'T CALL ME NAMES YOU RAHKSHI FACE!! TAHU: I DIDN'T!! YOU DID!! Takanuva got up and threw his cell phone out the window before sitting back down. TAKANUVA: Sorry about that Tahu, I was talking to Bella. Did you say something? TAHU: Yeah, but what in the world is going on with her! TAKANUVA: Oh, she supposedly visiting her 'old American Werewolf friend' in London, but I think she's cheating on me. TAHU: I know the feeling, but she's cheating on you with an American Werewolf in London? TAKANUVA: Yep… ELEMENT LORD (From Kitchen): I SMELL A CHALLENGE!! ALL (But the Element Lord): Oh dear Mata Nui! *face-palm*________________________________________________________ Outside, Icarax managed to drag himself up off the street and brush the tire marks off his back. He then noticed Artakha was standing at the window, looking upward. ICARAX: What are you doing? ARTAKHA: I saw something fly out the window. I'm waiting for it to hit me so it might cause a concussion or a bleed in my brain. ICARAX: Oh - The cell phone then landed right on Icarax's left eye. ARTAKHA: I hate my life… THE END_________________________________________________Was this a good first chapter? His Tahu really that depressed? AND WHY DOES ARTAKHA THINK THE WORLD IS SO AWFUL!! Find out in Chapter 2… CHAPTER 2: iPhone… No, EyeBrow… Nah… It's iPod. TAKANUVA: C'mon… You've got to be kidding me… They all stood in the living room, all watching the Element Lord and the Lewa Fan hatching yet another of their crazy plans. ELEMENT LORD: Okay, so, here's the plan: LEWA FAN: We start by sending two into the party to blend in. From there, they sneak into Terridax's office and they steal the keys to the safe. ELEMENT LORD: Next, the rest of us sneak into the storage room, disguised as the truck drivers delivering things for the party. From there, we'll sneak into the main security controls and we'll shut down the security camera's for upstairs. LEWA FAN: Because by this time the guards will be busy, we'll have one hour to get in and out before they return to see the lights are out. ELEMENT LORD: Once upstairs: ELEMENT LORD: We fight our way past the guards and into the safe. Here, we pack in as much money as we can carry and then we get out before the hours up. LEWA FAN: By the time any alarms are triggered, we'll be long gone… TAHU: Excuse me, but some of us are too busy moping around… ICARAX: Yeah, and I have a date. They all turned to Icarax, all apparently shocked. ICARAX: What? TAKANUVA: You have a date? And where exactly did you meet this woman again? ICARAX: Online. TAKANUVA: You do remember the last time right? *flashback* Icarax walked into the small diner and had a seat, waiting on his date to arrive. Not long after he ordered, a woman dressed in high heels and a long, beautiful red dress walked up, a hat lowered just enough, shading her face from the sun and hiding it from view. She sat down with him. WOMAN: Hello, you must be Icarax? Not to sound insulting, but you look nothing like you're picture. ICARAX: Yeah, that was taken a few years ago. What do you do for a living? She looked up at him, revealing the all too familiar face paint, red nose, and creepy smile. WOMAN: I'm a clown. I do a lot of children's- Icarax? She looked around, but Icarax was gone like the wind. *end flashback* ICARAX: *shivers* Never mind, my schedule just cleared. ARTAKHA: I wish I had a girlfriend… Oh… My life is awful… ARGY: Oh, just shut up! *at Element Lord* I guess we really don't have a choice but to show these fools up do we? ELEMENT LORD: Nope. Not really. TAKANUVA: Well we should! I demand a vote! TAHU: Yeah! LEWA FAN: Yeah! The Element Lord turned to his trusty sidekick. ELEMENT LORD: You helped me plan the whole thing! LEWA FAN: Oh yeah… EVERYONE: VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! ELEMENT LORD: EVERYONE!! CALM DOWN!! PLEASE!! They all turned to the very strange looking Matoran named Everyone, who stood in the back chanting 'Vote! Vote! Vote!' EVERYONE: Fine… As Everyone left, everyone went back to their arguing until they were interrupted by a sound so horrible, it put nails on a chalkboard to shame. This evil sound they would all never forget was known as… Polka. They all stared in shock as the source of the evil sound, a small iPhone, walked up the aisle being carried by a figure no one knew, yet they all knew. ELEMENT LORD: Brother… iBROW: Hello brother, long time no see. They were all shocked, except Argy, who was beginning to steam over the evilness of all evils resonating from iBrow's iPhone. EVERYONE: BROTHER!! ARGY: I thought we told you to get lost! The poor little Matoran conveniently named Everyone walked out, his shoulders in a slump. iBROW: I can catch these Toa for you… For the right price. ELEMENT LORD: You're not doing anything for us, for any price, iBrow. TAKANUVA: No! We're hearing this guy out! INGEITUM: Yeah! I have a date tonight! They all looked to Ingeitum. TAKANUVA: Are we going to have to do the whole flashback thing again or can we just move on? INGEITUM: What do you mean! I'm not a flimsy weakling like Icarax! ICARAX: Hey! ARTAKHA: If that makes you to depressed, then I know a guy that can supply a painfully slow death… Icarax just Artakha, and took a few steps away. But unfortunately, he stepped on a tack. Hurting his foot, he began grabbing at it, and made carefully sure he did not hop anywhere toward any windows. Instead he hopped through the front door and fell down the stairs. All seven flights to the Nuicave, where he then fell into a strange rocket type thing, accidentally turning it on, and blasted out the garage door. ICARAX: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! !!!! !!!! !!!! !!! It eventually stopped. On train tracks. ICARAX: ARE YOU KID- *choo… choo.* *splat* Back in the B-Team's living room: iBROW: C'mon, brother, can't we get past our differences? ELEMENT LORD: No! You went freelance! NO ONE CAN EXCEPT THIS!! NO ONE!! iBROW: C'mon! I've changed my name since then! ELEMENT LORD: YOU STABBED ME IN THE BACK YOU TRAITOR!! TAKANUVA: C'mon Element Lord, he at least deserves a shot. Let him try to take care of these wannabes and if he can't by tonight's party, then we'll go with yours and Lewa Fan's - LEWA FAN: Me. They all looked at him strangely. TAKANUVA: Um, as I was saying, we'll go with yours and Lewa Fan's - LEWA FAN: Me. TAKANUVA: Oh shut up! LEWA FAN: No, I was talking to him. The Lewa Fan pointed to the back of the room, where the Matoran Everyone and Me, both seemingly conveniently named, stood. SMOKE MONSTER: I don't mean to be rude you two, but… GET OUT OF HERE ALREADY! WE DON'T KNOW YOU!! GO!! PLEASE!! They ran off crying. ARGY: See what you did. INGEITUM: You monster. The Smoke Monster just sunk into his seat. INGEITUM: You should be ashamed… iBROW: Give me 'til tonight. They'll be taken care of. ELEMENT LORD: Fine! But if they're not, we're all doing this plan!! Right Lewa Fan - LEWA FAN: Me. SMOKE MONSTER: He left. LEWA FAN: I know, that time I was actually talking about myself. Since they had reached an agreement, everyone left the room. Leaving poor Artakha alone. ARTAKHA: Everybody hates me… Artakha just fell flat on his face, then rolled across the floor, down the hall, to the stairs, down the stairs, into the Nuicave, onto another rocket, and sped to the train tracks and just laid. *choo… choo.* *derailed* Artakha just sat up in the crash site, as the remains of the still somehow living Icarax crawled up to the crash site. ARTAKHA: Just my luck… ICARAX: You've… got… to… be… kidding… me… Suddenly, the crash site lit on fire the moment Artakha walked away, lighting the poor unsuspecting Icarax on fire with it.________________________________________________________ Somewhere else in the city, the team known as the V-Team, consisting of three Toa: V-3, the Toa of Great Hair, Vrf3, the Toa of Spontaneous Combustion, and Virthee, the Toa of Fire. V-3 spoke into a phone, talking with a dark toned voice… V-3: Yes, they'll be taken care of sir. And you'll have your money. THE DARK CHRONICLER: Good, because I get tired of waiting. Tonight, revenge will be mine. THE END_________________________________________________Who is the Dark Chronicler? Is the V-Team really one guest star? AND WAS ICARAX REALLY THAT BUFF (No)!! Find out in Chapter 3…
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