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  1. Chapter 1- Prologue: The Legend Begins (Part 1) (On a sunny, tropical island, in the middle of a sparkling sea, is a man lying on a beach chair. He is wearing nothing but a bathing suit, sunglasses, an ascot, and a beret; next to him are a discarded pair of jodhpurs, a vest, riding boots, and a megaphone. He takes a sip from a coconut with a tiny pink umbrella poking out of it. A noise just beyond the palm trees catches his attention. He puts a hand to his brow to examine the source of the noise.) Director: What on Earth...? (A helicopter flies over the island and a bald man in a white suit slides down a rope ladder, landing next to the Director. The man flicks the Director a business card that reads: President Lego.) Director: Hey pal, this is private property -- President Lego: No time for that! The people need the Director! Director: Don't call me that. I'm not a director anymore. I haven't directed a movie since 2009. President Lego: So what do I call you, then? Just "The"? Director: I... look, what do you want? President Lego: Well, The, we need your help. You see, we're making this Bionicle Netflix series and -- Director: Stop right there, I've already got the inside scoop. Your little Bionicle revival isn't even going to make it to two years. Why should I even waste my time with this sort of thing? President Lego: *grabs the Director by the ascot and pulls him up to his face* BECAUSE IT'S TIME WORTH WASTING! Real life is scary and boring! We can give people the chance to imagine something better! A world where good triumphs over evil, where the strong protect the weak, and where you can do anything you want if you try hard enough! Yeah, we aren't making any more Bionicle after this for a long time, but Bionicle will always be alive as long as there are fans who remember it! Do you think people gave up when they stopped making Avatar or Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings or decent Star Wars movies or any other fantasy series that's over now? A story only dies when people stop telling it. If this reboot taught us anything, it's that Bionicle isn't dead forever. It will be back someday, and we can live the legend all over again. Until then, why not have some fun with it? Director: President Lego: Look, The, the point is, we can give the fans one last adventure in the world of magic rainbow robots. Isn't that worth it, no matter the cost? (The Director stares off into the distance as images of his interactions with the brain-dead cast members of the previous films flash before his eyes.) Director: Alright, I'll do it. On one condition. (Meanwhile, at Harvard University...) Dr. Takua, PhD: Now class, I've got a special guest today. Associate Professor Vakama has come today to talk about the benefits of apple pie compared to -- Vakama: Hold up, is that an Intercontinental Ballistic Missile heading right for us? Gandhi! Why? I thought we were friends!!! (Back on the island...) Director: Great, now that they're dead forever, let's make a movie -- erm... Netflix Original Series! President Lego: Where did you get a nuke?????? Director: Places, people! Quiet on the set! Lights, camera -- President Lego: All those innocent people! You just -- Director: Aaaaaaaaaand ACTION! (Six comets fly through space towards the island of Okoto.) Okoto: Gandhi! Why? I thought we were friends! Narrator: In a distant world's time of need, an ancient prophecy summoned the Toa. Six legendary heroes, each powered by the energy of the island's elephants. (As the Narrator introduces each Toa, they appear on screen.) Narrator: Tahu, Toa of Wire. Kopaka, Toa of Mice. Pohatu, Toa of Phone. Gali, Toa of Slaughter. Onua, Toa of Birthday. Lewa, Toa of the Jungle. Director: Stop, stop. What are you doing? None of those are right! Lewa: Well, actually in this continuity -- Director: Shut up, yours is the most wrong! What kind of Toa powers are those anyway? Onua: *with a mouthful of cake* I don't know, man. These powers are pretty great. Kopaka: Speak for yourself! I just tried to make a bridge using my powers... that did not go well... PETA: Kopaka: Uh... I've gotta go! (In the City of the Mask Makers, Narmoto and a group of young Okotans gather around a campfire.) Narmoto: Much has happened, I know. After so many thousands of years, your families have returned to rebuild the Mask Makers' City. Jungle Okotan: Wait, isn't it "the City of the Mask Makers"? Narmoto: Are you a Protector? Do you have a magic Gatling gun mounted on your shoulder? I didn't think so. I'll call it whatever I darn well please. You know, just because of that, I'm renaming this place the City of Jungletribesucks! You got any more smart remarks?! Jungle Okotan: No, sir... Narmoto: Now where was I? Oh yeah. It must seem strange. You have only known the Region of the Jungle. And you, the regions of Stone and Ice and Water. Jungle Okotan: Actually, it's just called "the Region of Jungle". Narmoto: Well now it's called the Region of Losers! Jungle Okotan: Narmoto: But we are Okotans, and once this was the centre of our world. And now we have returned. Earth Okotan: What are you talking about? Surely Capital City would've been the centre of the world. Narmoto: WELL THE CENTRE OF THE WORLD SURE WASN'T THE REGION OF EARTH, I MEAN THE REGION OF BUTTS. Jungle Okotan: Region of Butts. Earth Okotan: Shut up, Loser Tribe. Narmoto: I'm sure you have questions, but wait. First let me tell you how we came to return to our city. And give you a taste of what may lay ahead. Fire Okotan: I think you mean, "what may lie ahead". Easy mistake to make, they're very similar verbs. You see "to lie" can refer to -- Narmoto: GUESS WHO'S LIVING IN THE REGION OF IDIOTS NOW?! Jungle Okotan: Uh... you? Narmoto: Wait, what? DANG IT! Director: Hold up, we can say "idiots" now? I am so glad I came back to do this. Now shut up, you idiots, and let the man tell his story. Narmoto: Sit. (Everyone sits.) Narmoto: Ha, Simon didn't say! I am so good at this game! Ice Okotan: You know, we could just leave. Narmoto: Okay, fine. I'll tell the story. Sheesh. Once, this was a beautiful city. And I like to think it will be again. But that will depend on more than your parents. Stone Okotan: Will it depend on sufficient tax revenue to fund extensive public works and infrastructure upkeep programs? Narmoto: Um... sure. It will also depend on six heroes from another time and place! Water Okotan: The Avengers? Narmoto: No. Jungle Okotan: The students in Harry Potter's rescue mission to save Sirius Black from the Ministry? Narmoto: No, stop. This isn't a guessing game. Earth Okotan: Team Avatar, including Zuko and Suki? Narmoto: No, it -- Stone Okotan: Twilight Sparkle and her friends? Narmoto: Look, you -- Ice Okotan: The Toa Metru? Narmoto: NO! JUST THE REGULAR TOA!!! And it will depend on if they can harness the elephants that give our planet life. You know them from the regions where you live. Fire, Water, Jungle, Earth, Stone, and Ice. Water Okotan: You forgot Light, Shadow, Psionics, Plasma, Gravity -- Narmoto: Get out. Water Okotan: Narmoto: For you, they are just corners of our island, but to the Toa, they are lifeblood. Ice Okotan: Hold on, blood is canon now? I'm offended by this. Also if we have parents, where do baby Okotans come from? I'm expecting to be offended by this too. Narmoto: I'm ignoring you. But before there was trouble, there was peace. And maybe that's where we should begin. More than a thousand years ago -- Stone Okotan: So like 1001 years ago? Narmoto: I'm ignoring all of you now. More than a thousand years ago, this was a peaceful and vibrant place. Our island's two protectors, Ekimu and his brother, Makuta, harnessed the power of the elephants and forged them into masks. Water Okotan: Weren't there multiple Protectors during this time? I think it's a bit misleading to -- Narmoto: Oh hey, how's life in the Dung Tribe? Ice Okotan: I thought you were ignoring us? Narmoto: Shut up, Ugly Tribe! Ice Okotan: And now I'm offended again. Narmoto: But Makuta grew jealous of his brother and hungry for the power. So -- Fire Okotan: SO HE CAST A SPELL ON MATA NUI WHO FELL INTO A DEEP SLUMBER! Narmoto: No. Not that. So unbeknownst to his brother, Ekimu, the jealous Makuta broke a sacred law, and jaywalked... to his mask forge where he created a mask that combined the power of all the elephants. He called it the Mask of Ultimate Power. Makuta: And yet, it's still not as dumb as the Mask of Possibilities. Narmoto: But as the power of the mask surged through Makuta, he became dark and evil. Knowing he had to act quickly, Ekimu took the sacred hammer and knocked the mask from the face of his brother. (As Narmoto narrates, these events appear on screen.) Ekimu: STOP, MAKUTA! Makuta: What? Oh no, please don't say it. Ekimu: HAMMER TIME! Makuta: Stupid 90s kids... Narmoto: Ekimu saved Okoto, but the cost was great. Like at least ten whole dollars! Both Ekimu and Makuta were plunged into endless sleep. (The Ancient Protectors are closing Ekimu away in his tomb.) Ekimu: Wait, didn't you hear the narration? I'm asleep, not dead! I'm gonna need food! And air! Wait, why are there no air holes in this! WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING?!?!?!? Mamuk: Aw, he looks so peaceful. I wonder what he's dreaming about? Ekimu: I'M GOING TO KILL YOUR DESCENDANTS!!!!! Narmoto: Our ancestors lay Ekimu to rest -- Fire Okotan: See, that's how you use the verb correctly. Narmoto: Stop. The masks, too powerful to be trusted to mortals, were hidden away forever... in the world's most obvious temples. And after Ekimu was sealed into a secret tomb -- once again, put in like the most conspicuous location on the island -- the City of Jungletribesucks was abandoned. Although Makuta lay buried deep beneath our island, his spirit remained powerful. He summoned dark forces to find his Mask and awaken him. Stone Okotan: All while he was asleep? That's... that's not how sleep works. Are you just making this up? Merlin P. Mann: Aha, but, it's a magical sleep, you see. Stone Okotan: Oh really? And what do you know about magic? Merlin P. Mann: Well... Narmoto: If Makuta's minions managed to awaken him, our island would be plunged into darkness. So we, the Protectors, gathered and performed an ancient rite. (In the Temple of Time...) Kivoda: This isn't working. Korgot: Obviously not. You can't summon a whole bunch of Toa in one turn. That's against the rules! Izotor: What if we travelled across the island, fighting Rahi and collecting Toa Stones -- Kivoda: Look, let's just order them off of the Lego Store like everybody else. We'll probably even get free shipping. Izotor: Fiiiiiiine. Narmoto: Their legend was carved into the walls of our temples, and their names were kept alive in our rituals. These were the Toa. And it would be up to them to save Okoto. Director: Okay, seriously, why was everyone talking about elephants earlier? ---- Okay, I think we'll wrap things up there. I've done the math and in the previous movies, a chapter would run about 4-6 minutes. This so far is about 5 minutes in, so I think that's a pretty good place to stop. Basically, I'll try to post a new chapter every week or so, breaking down the episodes into 2-3 parts each depending on how things flow. See also: The Newest MoL Spoof The First LoMN Spoof The Greatest WoS Spoof The Awesomest TLR Spoof
  2. The year is 2009. Three and a half years have passed since the end of The Greatest WoS Spoof and much has changed. At the end of the last comedy, I had promised to spoof Lewa11's fan-made film BIONICLE: Quest of the Toa, a project I was heavily involved with. As we all know, that was definitely released and it was definitely the most amazing thing to exist. Meanwhile, in reality, I had also promised to work on a comic series. As it turned out, not long after I finished The Greatest WoS Spoof, my tech class started teaching Adobe Flash. Well, I decided to fiddle around with it at home and the rest is history. For a while, it seemed like that was the end of my time in the Comedies Forum. It's not easy to write a good comedy without a structured plot provided for you, such as the script of the movie, and there were other creative projects I wanted to pursue. Then The Legend Reborn was released. I had something else to write a comedy about! I even made a trailer for it. So did I still have the comedic touch after all those years? That will be for you to decide. Here we go, one last time. -SPIRIT Chapter 1- My Beginning (The scene opens onto the picturesque, tropical island of Mata Nui.) Turaga Vakama: Gathered friends, listen again to -- Director: OH COME ON! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! YOU AREN'T EVEN IN THIS MOVIE! Vakama: But... I always start the movies. Director: Not any more, you don't. LEGO finally listened to me for once and fired all you morons! Vakama: But how will I feed my family? Director: Fine, you can stay here as a gopher. Vakama: A gopher? Hey, does that mean if I do all those ridiculous tasks from the LEGO Backlot game, I'll eventually be promoted to director? Director: No, it means that you "go fer" whatever I tell you and also it means that you have to -- Vakama: Ah, just like the good old days... Alright, carry on. (So, as I was saying, the scene opens onto the picturesque, tropical island of Mata Nui. A palm tree sways in the breeze... wait, didn't the Bohrok already clear the island? Why is there still a tree here?) Random Tahnok: *Quickly incinerates tree* What tree? (Right... anyway, the camera begins to zoom out to an aerial view of the island.) Mata Nui: It is said that all endings are merely beginnings waiting to be born. Vakama: Said by whom? Mata Nui: Me. I said it. Just now. Vakama: You win this round... Mata Nui: Right... My beginning was much the same. (Light begins glowing under the surface of the island. The island breaks up and the giant robotic body of Mata Nui emerges from the ocean.) Mata Nui: *Looks around the endless ocean of Aqua Magna* Aw, jeez. I wet the bed again. Vakama and the Director: Mata Nui: Once, I was a towering giant, ruler of my own universe, fearless, beholden to none, protector of my people. So yeah, drink your milk, kids. Oh, and speaking of "fearless", you really need to go to iTunes and check out Taylor Swift's Album Fearless. Seriously, that is some good country music. Director: (The camera zooms to inside Mata Nui's body, where several Matoran are operating machinery in a cylindrical structure with a beam of golden energy running through it.) Blue Tanma: I say, isn't it a spiffing day to not be trapped in strange, transparent red cylinders? Yellow Tanma: I'll say. In fact, I think that the only thing that could ruin this perfect day is that. Heck, the entire universe could be taken over by the Makuta and I'd still be having a good day. Blue Tanma: I’m with you on that. Hey, what do these buttons do anyway? Yellow Tanma: I think if you press them, it gives Mata Nui gas. Blue Tanma: Seriously? I totally have to try that! *He does so and a huge explosion can be heard in the distance.* That's just classic. Yellow Tanma: Oh wait, my bad, that actually causes a massive volcano to erupt that kills everyone in a 10 mio radius. Blue Tanma: Okay, if anyone asks, that happened on its own. Mata Nui: Until I was betrayed. (The light from Mata Nui's eyes and the golden beam of energy go out, to be replaced by red, representing Teridax's takeover of the robotic body.) Mata Nui: All that I had been, all that I had known was stolen from me by an ever-present evil. My power stripped away, my people enslaved... (The various working Matoran are all trapped, many inside strange, transparent red cylinders.) Yellow Tanma: Mata Nui: I was left powerless to save them. And yet, a part of me survived: my spirit. Makuta: Whoa, slow down there. Survived? I chose to fire you out of my body just to mess with everyone. Why do you have to lie to everyone like that? (The Ignika shoots out of Makuta's body and flies off into space.) Mata Nui: Captured and preserved inside a mask worn by a Toa warrior -- Makuta: Okay, let me just stop you again. Matoro wore that thing for like two seconds, so did that other guy on Jovan's team. To say that it was worn by a Toa is a pretty big stretch. What's with all the lying? I took over the world and even I don't lie as much as you have in the past minute! Mata Nui: Yeah, okay there, "brother". Makuta: You win this round... Mata Nui: Its name echoed my rebirth: the Mask of Life. Ignika: Or Phil... That's my real name, by the way. Mata Nui: Wait, why not Ignika? Ignika: Don't ask me! Everyone just calls me that! It's a pretty stupid name if you ask me. You know, it even says "My name is Phil" inside me, if you just put me on your face you can see it as plain as day. Vakama: Really? *He rushes to try on the mask, but the Director blocks him.* Director: Ordinarily I'd jump at a chance to have you tricked into sacrificing yourself to the ravenous hunger of a psychotic doomsday device, but I need you alive since you're the only person I've been able to find who's willing to be my gopher. Takua: Could I do it? Director: WHY ME?!?! Takua: So when I "go fer" things, does that include pie? Director: Takua: I'll take that as a "yes". *Walks off* (Meanwhile, Mata Nui, trapped inside the Ignika, floats through outer space.) Captain Picard: Space, the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Ignika -- Ignika: Phil! Picard: -- Its continuing mission: to explore strange, new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly -- Mata Nui: Hey, man. I finally got a big movie break after being on Star Trek. Don't ruin this for me. Picard: Ooo, a movie based on something out of a comic book. Really impressive. Mata Nui: Um... X-Men? Picard: You win this round... (The Ignika crash-lands onto the desert planet of Bara Magna, creating a massive crater.) Takua: Massive like your mom! Director: And you wonder why no one likes you...
  3. 6. Invasion from Below (2014) Summary: Creatures from the underground are invading the surface and the Heroes have to stop them with mechs. This Movie barely feels like a Hero Factory movie but it's not bad. All the characters have the same personality and are not at all like from the previous movies. 5. Brain Attack (2013) Summary: A mysterious villain develops mind control alien brains and sends them to the same planet where the Hero Factory is located. When they arrive there they take control of wild animals and march to the Factory. This Movie isn't bad but also feels different from the previous movies (not as much as IFB though). The Main focus is on Breeze, Surge and Rocka. Somehow Furno is in command instead of Stormer. There are not many plotholes (although HF could have just activated the shield from breakout instead of letting surge defend the entrance, also where tf are the other heroes?!) Battles are okay in this movie not really intense or special. 4. Rise of the Rookies (2010) Summary: A former Hero that went rogue is plotting revenge on the alpha team and his former teammate that he blames on a horrible accident. The alpha team gets help from 3 rookies that have to prove themselves to be real Heroes. This Movie may be really cheesy and corny but works for being the first one in the series. There's not much character development except for Stormer and Furno (who get the most spotlight while bulk, stringer, breeze and surge are being treated as fillers and plot devices) The personalities of the villains are identical and bit of clichee. Von Nebula despite being the main antagonist and important to the plot get's only like 3 minutes of screentime and offers no real battle. The first 2 battles arent that good either. Bulk and Stringer get their asses owned by corroder, xplode and rotor in the most embarassing way and also suck at aiming. Despite those flaws the movie has a lot of interesting and dark elements. (Enemy withing perhaps being the best episode in the movie) Soundtrack in the movie is very well made. CGI models are very accurate to the lego models. ROTR was my childhood /early teenhood. 3.Ordeal of Fire (2011) Summary: A group of mining robots receive fuel sockets in their fingers so they dont have to recharge at the main base and can absorb fuel from cells just by touching them. There was no limit on how much they could they absorb and became so addicted to point they raided gas stations. Stormer, Furno, Breeze and Surge are sent to stop them but realise they need the new upgrade to be able to fight the rogue mining robots. This Movie is perhaps one of the darker ones in the series and also the shortest. Importance is finally given to Brezze and Surge. The battles have improved although the final ones are rushed. The Highlight of the movie is Fire Lord (the leader of the rogue mining bots). He is a perfect villain, has a plausible motive, did things that affected the main protagonists and managed to defeat them multiple times. His Henchmen are just filler sadly. While Drilldozer at least did some things, nitroblast and jetbug have barely screen time. ( I legit forgot that nitroblast and jetbug existed when I watched that movie). Also the sacrifice of Surge made him a better character and he developed. 2. Savage Planet (2011) Summary: A former HF professor gets exiled from makuhero city for trying to get himself a quaza core. He flies to quatros a planet that has a lot of quaza but needs it to be alive. The Heroes have to stop him and rescue a rookie that landed on that planet. This Movie is nearly perfect but suffers from some flaws. People that never watched a HF movie before might have trouble in identifying the heroes. Bulk, Stringer and Nex are finally given some importance. Rocka is a likeable character. Aldous Witch is a good villain and offers a good battle. The savage creatures surprisingly have more personality than Fire Lord Henchmen. Scorpios battle at the vines kind of sucks and is too long. 3 heroes trained in combat have problems in defeating a giant scorpion but a small gorrilla doesent for some reason. 1. Breakout (2012) Summary: There is a jailbreak at the maximum security prison of Hero Factory! Criminals like the crazed Toxic Reapa, the evil Jawblade, edgy Voltix, fast Speeda demon and the schizophrenic Splitface have broken free and are spreading chaos and destruction all across the galaxy! It is revealed that the villainous Black Phantom is behind the prison break, and that it was merely a distraction for the heroes, so he could attempt to destroy Hero Factory's Assembly Tower while they were recapturing the escapees. Stormer, Stringer, Evo, Surge and Furno are sent on missions to catch and cuff the villains, while Rocka remains at Hero Factory to stop Black Phantom, who already has the mission managers neutralized, and destroy his Arachnix pet. This is probably the darkest and most mature Movie in the series. A lot of variety, the plot is good, villains are credible but are in terms of personality very similar. Soundtrack rocks. The battles are nice even though they all are orchestered in a same order (Hero tries to auto cuff villain but fails, Villain gets the hero in a critical state, Hero gets back up ,defeats villain and cuffs him) The Heroes are all given importance. Rocka has the most development and becomes a professional. Black Phantom is cunning and clever, perfect for the main villain. Even though his battle is short it's creative. Movie ends with a hyping cliff hanger.
  4. Not sure if this was already known about but apparently someone's selling all these storyboards for the first Bionicle movie on eBay (£15 a pop!) and I mention it hear in case the images of these have not yet been archived. https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/2003-LEGO-BIONICLE-DTV2-14x8-5-Pencil-Storyboard-Art-SC-61-65-pgs-141-149/303615588276?hash=item46b0e637b4:g:XpcAAOSweoZe8yid
  5. Hi, guys! Since that the idea about Disney owning Bionicle was revealed to be a fake (click here: http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/23996-lego-what-have-you-done/ ), I am going to talk about this: if a cinematic Bionicle movie were to be made, how would you like it to be? I know that we have four Bionicle movies in 2003-2009, but they are direct-to-video movies that take over 70 minutes. I am talking about movies that first appear in the cinemas, like the Transformers, Marvel and DC Comics superheroes, Star Wars, and The Lego Movie. For me, I would go with these ideas: Studios: Warner Bros. (Bionicle made a cameo in their movie, The Lego Movie), Disney (the first three direct-to-video movies in 2003-2005 were made by Miramax, which I heard is a division of Disney. Plus, I would believe that Disney could improve Bionicle in the way it improved Marvel and Star Wars), or Universal (the fourth direct-to-video movie, The Legend Reborn in 2009, was made by them). I would go with Warner Bros because they are making The Lego Movie Cinematic Universe, and this is about Lego characters, original or licensed from already existing franchises, like DC Comics, in general. Animated or live-action, and how would the story be based on that: I would prefer either. If it were to be live-action, the story would have human beings and takes place on the Planet Earth for the first time. The Bionicle worlds (either the Matoran Universe, Spherus Magna, or the G2 world) would also be seen, as they could make appearances, too. For the Bionicle characters who appear in the live-action movie, some of them would be people dressed in CGI costumes (similar to "I, Robot" in 2004 and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turltes movies in 2014-2016) while others, like the Rahi, would be entirely CGI. It would be like a mix of Transformers, Avatar in 2009, TMNT, "I, Robot", Pacific Rim, Marvel Cinematic Universe, DC Extended Universe, and Star Wars movies in 2002-2015 if you can think of the CGI graphics in live-action movies that way, since Bionicle characters are bio-mechanical. If the movie were to be computer-animated, it should be 3D, like the direct-to-video movies. The story would not include the human-and-Earth-ideas I said above, as it would focus on the Bionicle characters and their own worlds. I would imagine this movie would be like a mix of Moana (2016) and How to Train Your Dragon (2010-2014) that way (Think of it as it has these beautiful kinds of graphics). Besides these types of reality in the movie, most of the scenes in The Lego Movie, The Lego Batman Movie, and The Lego Ninjago Movie show what it seems to be stop-motion. If a cinematic Bionicle movie would have stop-motion, it would be a part of The Lego Movie Cinematic Universe. However, I prefer either live-action or computer-animated. Story: The story should be somewhere as good as or better than G1. If it were to be live-action, the story would be about Bionicle characters (who were introduced in G1 and G2) coming to Earth and do stuff there. The Toa (Mata) would crash land on Earth with their Toa canisters and meet and make friends with some humans. They would also hide from other humans who don't understand them until the Toa show that they are heroes who have a duty to protect Earth from evil villains from their own home world (either Matoran Universe, Spherus Magna, or the G2 world), as it is either their new home or a peaceful place to visit. The Toa would also go on quests to find some Bionicle-related stuff on Earth, like weapons or the Great Beings. The humans would act like other Bionicle characters to the Toa, like the Matoran and Turaga. Some of these humans would become their allies that way, but the Toa have to be the main protagonists. If the Bionicle movie is a part of The Lego Movie Cinematic Universe, well, let's just say that extra people, like minifigures from other worlds, would appear along with the Bionicle characters, who appear as giants to them. Some of the Bionicle characters would be able to Master-Build, like the Master-Builders. Having its own Cinematic Universe or be a part of another Cinematic Universe: Well, I would go with either way. If the Bionicle movie were to be a part of The Lego Movie Cinematic Universe, see above, and I would say that it could most likely since The Lego Movie Cinematic Universe is about Lego in general. I would like to think of a Cinematic Universe that is very similar to Lego Dimensions, where Bionicle characters meet characters from other Lego themes with their own storylines and universes, like The Lego Movie, Ninjago, Nexo Knights, Hero Factory, Legends of Chima, and Mixels, as this Cinematic Universe would be called The Lego Theme Cinematic Universe. I would like to imagine something like Tahu working together Avengers-style with Emmet (TLM), Lloyd (Ninjago), Clay Moorington (NK), Preston Stormer (HF), Laval (LoC), and Flain (Mixels) to fight against a powerful enemy, like Makuta Teridax, the Overlord from Ninjago, or someone else old or new. If Bionicle would be a part of a Lego Constraction Cinematic Universe, the Bionicle would do the same thing as above, but only with other constraction themes, like Hero Factory, Slizers/Throwbots, Robo Riders, or some new theme that would be replacing Bionicle this year. If Bionicle would have its own Cinematic Universe, may it be called the Bionicle Cinematic Universe, where it only focuses on the Bionicle characters (and perhaps humans along the way if it were live-action, but still, only the Bionicle characters would be the main protagonists), kind of similar to Transformers. If one of these Cinematic Universes were to be selected, I would go with these made-up Bionicle-related-or-dominated movies: 1. Bionicle 1 - Toa Mata/Masters vs. The Infected Rahi/Skull Creatures and Makuta and searching for magic and golden masks. 2. Bionicle 2 - The Toa become Uniters and unite with Elemental Creatures and fight against Umarak or the Bohrok. 3. Bionicle 3 - the Uniters would become the Toa Nuva and probably fight the Bohrok/Bohrok-Kal. 4. Bionicle 4 - Toa Nuva and Takanuva fighting against Umarak/Rahkshi and Makuta Teridax. 5. Bionicle Origins: Toa Metru - a prequel that would be based on the 2004 storyline 6. Bionicle Origins: Toa Metru 2: Rise of the Toa Hordika - a sequel to the previous movie, but still a prequel, that would be based on the 2005 storyline. 7. Bionicle Untold Stories: Toa Mangai - tells the adventures of the Toa Mangai. 8. Bionicle Untold Stories: Toa Jovan's Team - tells the adventures of Toa Jovan's Team. 9. Bionicle: Toa Inika - a spinoff that would be based on the 2006 storyline. 10. Bionicle: Toa Inika 2: Rise of the Toa Mahri - a sequel to the previous movie, but still a spinoff that would be based on the 2007 storyline. 11. Bionicle Untold Stories: Lesovikk - tells Lesovikk's adventures. 12. Bionicle 5 - the Toa Nuva, wearing the Adaptive Armor and having the Av-Matoran as their sidekicks, go to war against the Brotherhood of Makuta and awaken the Great Spirit Mata Nui. It's based on the 2008 storyline. 13. Bionicle Untold Stories: The Order of Mata Nui - tells the Order of Mata Nui's adventures. 14. Bionicle Untold Stories: Mazeka - based on Mazeka's adventures. 15. Bionicle Untold Stories: Federation of Fear - Bionicle's own version of Suicide Squad that is based on the Federation of Fear serial. 16. Bionicle 6 - based on the 2009 storyline, but I would also like to think that the Mask of Life had landed on Earth. 17. Bionicle 7 - Since Makuta Teridax took over the Matoran Universe, he sends the Dark Hunters, including probably Umarak, to hunt Mata Nui down. 18. Bionicle 8 - based on a script of a cancelled fifth Bionicle direct-to-video movie in 2010 19. Bionicle 9 - Mata Nui's adventures in Bota Magna, something that the cancelled sixth Bionicle direct-to-video movie could've based on. 20. Bionicle Origins: Core War - it would be based on the Core War from G1. 21. Bionicle Origins: Bara Magna - it would be about the people in Bara Magna and their adventures before Mata Nui showed up. 22. Bionicle 10 - based on the Journey's End storyline in 2010, but I would like to think that Teridax would use the gravity power of the Great Spirit to try to destroy Earth. 23. Bionicle 11 - based on the events after Journey's End, like, you know, the serials, Velika's conquest, the Red Star business, the Marander hunting, the search for the Great Beings, etc. 24. A Bionicle movie where Bionicle characters and humans are tricked by an evil villain (probably Velika or Teridax) into fighting each other. The end would be have both of the sides working together to fight the villain. 25. A movie where the Bionicle heroes travel through space and time, through the events of and traveling into G1, G2, and the cinematic movies themselves to combat a menace (probably Velika and/or Teridax) who threatens to mess the universes and events up. Heroes from all the generations would team up to do this. This movie would be to celebrate the whole Bionicle franchise's anniversary (for the first time of Bionicle's life). It would be like a mix of Turtles Forever in 2009 and Sonic Generations in 2011 when you think of it. 26. If celebrating only the Bionicle cinematic movie series' anniversary first before the one above, then it would be about the Bionicle heroes traveling traveling through time and space, into the events of the movies, to stop the evil villain from messing them up. 27. A movie about time travel. 28. A movie about Toa fighting against Tuyet, who threatens to rule the Matoran Universe. 29. A movie about two good Bionicle forces are fighting each other in a civil war, similar to Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (but in a much better way) and Captain America: Civil War in 2016. For examples, Tahu v Kopaka, Jaller v Matoro, or Bionicle (some option number): Civil War. 30. A movie where Bionicle characters working together with non-Bionicle Lego characters from other Lego themes, similar to Marvel's Avengers movie in 2012. I would also like to think that there would be crossover movies where Bionicle characters fight characters from other themes. For example, Bionicle v Hero Factory (imagine Stormer from HF knowing Tahu's weakness while Tahu is more powerful than him during a fight?), Bionicle v Ninjago, and Bionicle v some replacement Constraction theme in 2017. Actors: Well, I don't want this topic to be long, but you can see my list of actors in this other topic: http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/24174-what-famous-movie-celebrity-actors-would-you-like-to-play-a-bionicle-character/ . Content: If the movie is a part of the Lego Movie Cinematic Universe, it should have the same rate as the other Lego Movies. If on its own, I would like the movie to have around the same atmosphere as the Marvel movies, but no profanity words or other inappropriate Rated-R content. So, there. I know it's a lot and these sound crazy, but they are what I would like a cinematic Bionicle movie to be if there is one. What do you guys think (Note: please don't say "Bionicle couldn't do that" or "It may not be possible unless something happens". I am just talking about what would your vision of a cinematic Bionicle movie be like)?
  6. Hi, guys! Do you know what’s special about today. Well, I’ll tell you: It’s the 15th anniversary of a Bionicle direct-to-video movie called Bionicle: Mask of Light? It came out on September 16, 2003. I know that I have this topic: http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/26629-happy-15th-anniversary-mask-of-light-storyline-late-2003/?do=findComment&comment=1156304 , But that topic is about the summer 2003 set wave in general. This topic is about the movie itself only. To celebrate, let me tell you the plot in the movie. It is about two short bio-mechanical guys called Matoran, Takua and Jaller, being sent on a quest to find a heroic warrior called a Toa of Light that can save their home island from a dark and evil being called the Makuta. Takua and Jaller must survive dangerous threats, like Makuta's snake-like sons, the Rahkshi. Things get easier when there are other six heroes called the Toa Nuva to help Takua and Jaller on their journey. Anyway, the movie is based on the summer 2003 set wave (well, most of it because there are also the comics). There is a novel based on the movie. There is also a video game called Bionicle: The Game sort of based on the movie. I watched and liked the movie. It was epic, and I love the fight scenes the most! I also love the scene with Takutanuva. I love the soundtrack as well. My favorite characters in the movies are Tahu, Onua, Takanuva, and Makuta. The movie won a few awards. Plus, the movie got two prequels in 2004 and 2005 and a sequel in 2009. The movie is also the first Lego direct-to-video movie and the first real Lego medium in general. It is 3-D animated, and the characters in there look realistic to look like cyborgs that they are while still looking like their sets. There are a few inaccuracies, though, like the eye colors, and it’s weird some of the common masks in the story are common (ex: the Mask of Mind Control) while the others are exclusive to one person (ex: the Mask of Strength) and some of those are not seen at all (ex: the Mask of X-Ray Vision). However, I like the graphics in there, anyway. Man, the Rahkshi and Makuta are scary and menacing. The movie, along with the prequels, is made by Miramax while the sequel is made by Tinseltown Toons and Universal for some reason. I remember buying the DVD and watching the movie on the day the movie was released. Anyway, what are your favorite parts of the movie, and how would you celebrate the movie’s anniversary? For me, well, I would rewatch the movie to celebrate. Also anyway, happy 15th anniversary, movie! Man, it was so long ago!
  7. My lasted video made to celebrate Halloween: After the Alien invasion, one man traverses the city's underground in order to restore power, but the aliens are still on the hunt... A sequel to last year's Halloween special. Bonus Behind the scenes gimmick: I had to get this made in 3 days to get it ready, I lost track of time a lot! Please tell me all of your thoughts on the project
  8. Loganto Click the image for larger size. This is Loganto. A character, I guess. He likes plants and bugs, but he hates his job as a plant salesman because it's too boring. For this piece I tried to capture the elements of the MIRAMAX movies while still being true to the set. I think I did... ...okay. Give me your feedback. I'd like to know what I should improve upon. I don't usually work with colours, so I know that needs some help. I might digitally convert it soon.
  9. Hi there BZPower members! So in November of last year I posted my first versions of the BIONICLE movies upscaled, and many of you enjoyed them. Well, I have the latest, final (February 2017) versions out now, in both the 16:9 Aspect Ratio and a Widescreen format. I hope you enjoy the remasters of all three films! If you'd like, please discuss below your thoughts about the latest versions. Thanks again for reading this post! -KopakaFan116 (Krexa Prime on YT) BIONICLE 2: Legends of Metru Nui https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uFwpcArl7IE&index=3&list=PLuJLd4wg3M8ye1fCqJGVjP2Ovk1kobZV7 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HBSF_N9O7NA&index=2&list=PLuJLd4wg3M8wIVmd9fEnOXy5wmIkF3qQp BIONICLE 3: Web of Shadows (Widescreen): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ttn0Rnkmydo&index=4&list=PLuJLd4wg3M8ye1fCqJGVjP2Ovk1kobZV7 (Original 16:9 Aspect Ratio): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fqtZYxPhaMQ&index=3&list=PLuJLd4wg3M8wIVmd9fEnOXy5wmIkF3qQp BIONICLE: Mask of Light (Widescreen): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e_E2ndPgTLY&list=PLuJLd4wg3M8ye1fCqJGVjP2Ovk1kobZV7 (Original 16:9 Aspect Ratio): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uaZXu1Nqavs&list=PLuJLd4wg3M8wIVmd9fEnOXy5wmIkF3qQp BIONICLE: Mask of Light - Extended Ending Remaster https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=udseVTN-DMc&index=2&list=PLuJLd4wg3M8ye1fCqJGVjP2Ovk1kobZV7
  10. How come no one has posted about this yet? Here's the trailer for the upcoming movie made by Failsafe 42! http://youtu.be/VFkqpW7Aw_A
  11. How has this not been made? Anyways, just list the movie you saw previously. Bonus points(though there is no score) if others find your movie awesome. As for me, as of 4/4/13, the last movie I saw was Kill Bill, Vol. II.
  12. Hi!! It has been a long time without activity here on this occasion I bring a version of Keetongu inspired by the movie Bionicle 3 reviewing some files, I found these pictures, like Krekka, I have made a version own Keetongu inspired by the movie version despite not receiving many changes to the set, this figure seeks to synthesize the best possible this concept, some details like the weapon still need to be added. I hope you like and enjoy this version as it as the other figures modified!!! Keetongu by vicent steffens (gerou 100), en Flickr
  13. (I know this came out last weekend, but I didn't have time to make an entry on it until now.) I don't know if I ever talked about this here, but I used to be a big fan of the Power Rangers back in the day. My first season I ever watched was Power Rangers: In Space. I continued to watch the following seasons all the way up to SPD Emergency. From there, my interest had gone down in the show, probably because I didn't enjoy SPD that much and I was getting into other interests. But still, I remember really enjoying the seasons that I watched before it. But for many people, their favorite Power Rangers will always be the first seasons of the show, The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I believe the show held this title for three seasons before becoming Power Rangers Zeo. But regardless, these seasons of the show are still held in high regards by many fans of the show. (Even if they are a bit dated IMO.) So in this age where anything that can be turned into a movie is, well, turned into a movie, it was only a matter of time before Power Rangers found their way back to the big screen. And in a movie that is attempting to start a new franchise, at that. Warning, spoilers for the teaser are below. Read at your own risk if you don't want to be spoiled. Now normally, I'd link the trailer in this entry. However, there are one or two words mentioned in the teaser that aren't allowed to be typed on BZP, so no link here. But that does lead into one of the things I want to mention about the teaser. It shows us that this is going to be a little bit of a darker origin story than the one from the show. All five rangers (Jason, Zack, Billy, Kimberly, and Trini) are all shown to be going through various situations that many teenagers found themselves in in high school movies. Bullies, anger issues, being an outcast, etc. All of them are shown going through at least one of these problems. Another darker aspect of the movie is the villain, Rita Repulsa. Anyone who seen the original show knows about her. And, well, she wasn't the best villain to ever face the Power Rangers. But you wouldn't get that from this teaser. Played by the actress who voiced Wildstyle herself, Elisabeth Banks, Rita has a completely new look here and actually says that she has killed Rangers before. I don't recall the original Rita ever saying something like that. The teaser also reveals that the rangers obtain some powers from simply getting the coins. These powers being super strength and I guess the ability to super heat stuff. (Though that second one may have to do with the coins being placed on a counter.) When I first saw this, I thought to myself 'Why are they taking a story page out of Chronicle?' But then I remembered that in some of the seasons of Power Rangers, the Rangers did have powers aside from the ones given to them after morphin. (Ninja Storm, Dino Thunder, and SPD Emergency are examples of this.) So this could be a callback to a concept from those seasons. But I think one of the best things about this teaser is what it didn't show us. It didn't show us Zordon, Alpha 5, Megazords, or even Jason and co. in their Ranger Suits. In fact, the only hints we really get that this is a Power Rangers movie are that the characters find power coins, Rita shows up for a second, and at the very end of the teaser we start to see Jason morph into the Red Ranger, but then it cuts itself off right there. It actually does a good job of just teasing us of what the movie is going to be about, as a good teaser should. Now most or all of these things mentioned will probably be shown to some extent in an upcoming trailer. I have no doubt about that. But I'm surprised that this teaser didn't give us more than it did, and I think that's a good thing. Overall, I don't think I'll ever get as excited about something Power Rangers related than I would've when I was younger. But that being said, this teaser did get my interest, more than I thought it would have done before I saw it. I'm not jumping out of my seat in excitement for it, but it has made me a little more interested in seeing it when it comes out in 2017. What did you guys think of the teaser?
  14. So, I liked X-Men Apocalypse. Haven't had more than a few hours for it to sink in yet, but, you know, so far so good. I like how the main villain's early actions make it understandable how someone could choose to follow him without personally desiring the end of the world. I mean... nuclear disarmament? Good start, buddy! But What if What if there were a story where some mighty immortal, trapped under rocks for literally thousands of years, woke up, got to see the world And had an overall positive reaction at first? Like, They saw cars, and were impressed with the speed at which a machine, unaided by any beasts of burden, could move And they saw trains, and got excited about trains, because trains are exciting And then planes. Wow, planes. Planes! If I were that old, and had been asleep that long, planes would blow my mind. And then someone tells them that smallpox isn't a thing anymore, and oh my good golly gumdrops, smallpox isn't a thing anymore! Again, coming from that far back in history, I'd be blown away. So they're impressed by that, and by the scale on which people live now (because Cairo ca. 1984 is much, much bigger than Cairo back when there were still working out the issues in pyramid-building), and at first this mighty, immortal ruler, this ancient world-ruler, is just walking around, taking in the sights, and they're thinking, y'know, this is good. I like what you've done with the place. A+ work, kids. And where they go from there kind of depends on the tone you want to set. Do they remain impressed? Do they decide that humanity, while it has progressed, still needs them at the helm for some reason? Do they see something, some darker side to this advancement, that convinces them that they need to do something big to change things? Can't really get into that last one without discussing what it is that would convince them that the world needs re-making, and I'm not in the mood to make it something ridiculous like Adam Sandler movies (though, to be fair, "burn the world" is a perfectly understandable reaction to Adam Sandler's financial success), so... yeah. Fun thing to think about.
  15. If you were asked to score a Bionicle movie/video game/piece of media using only pre-existing musical pieces, a la 2001, what would you pick? Alternatively, what's your headcanon music for Bionicle? Post what specific character, scene, location, or event the music pieces are used for. Mangaia- Krzysztof Penderecki's "Threnody for the Victims of Hiroshima" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sPtP2gGGBCw Ko-Koro- Philip Glass' "Etoile Polaire (North Star)" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H_oKSkHyDxQ Onu-Koro Highway- Brian Eno's "Lizard Point" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NRa3oId_d-Q Matoran- Steve Reich's "Music for 18 Musicians- Section 1" 5:18 in video
  16. Hi all, Like many other fans, I'd love to be able to listen to the original, unaltered tracks of musical score composed by Nathan Furst for the BIONICLE movie trilogy from 2003-2005. Nathan Furst was going to upload more tracks to his YouTube channel from his computer, but unfortunately something happened and he lost all the tracks. I was browsing a couple of months ago and came across this video compiled together by Creative Capers entertainment on this page: http://creativecapers.com/our-work/legos-bionicle-trilogy/ and in the video are various music tracks from the film trilogy compiled together for the video. I suspect that whoever made this video has access to the original music tracks for the movies. I wish it were possible for LEGO to give an alright for the tracks to be released somewhere, maybe put them on Nathan Furst's YouTube channel, just for the fan's sake. Thoughts?
  17. This is a movie that I wanted to see for a little while, and I'm glad it lived up to my expectations. The Revenant is definitely not a kid's movie (its rated R), but for those old enough for it, I do recommend it. There are some amazing shots of the scenery in the movie. The environment looks just as beautiful as it is deadly. I actually felt cold in the theater at points just from watching this movie. Leonardo DiCaprio, Tom Hardy, and the rest of the cast do a great job with their roles. Especially DiCaprio, who I hope finally gets an Oscar Nomination for his role. I won't spoil anything here, but he goes through A LOT in the movie, and you can't help but hope for them succeed in his quest for revenge. I will note that this is sort of a gory movie. So if that isn't your thing, you may want to stay away. You will see guts and blood in this. Plus, and this may count as a spoiler if you haven't seen the trailers: Overall, I enjoyed the film. I don't think its a movie for everyone though. I could see some people say that its slow in certain places, and I wouldn't argue against that. But its still a good film IMO and I recommend it for those interested in it and old enough to see it.
  18. I finally got to see Star Wars: The Force Awakens yesterday. I can now move freely throughout the Internet without worrying about accidentally spoiling something from the movie for me. Spoilers follow:
  19. Hi all! I want show you my just-for-fun vid, that I created this evening. It's kinda trailer (sorry for russian speech) of "Bionicle: Mask of Light". I wanted to make it look like original trailers, so I make kinda synchronization between video and soundtrack (I hope it look good). Here it is: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pao6flR7u84 Any comments are welcome!
  20. Hi, guys! This year is the 10th anniversary on the third Bionicle movie, Bionicle 3: Web of Shadows! It is about the Toa Metru trying to save the Matoran, who are in a coma, but they were trapped and mutated by the evil Visorak into the animal-like Toa Hordika. Despite the mutation, the Toa are still determined heroes. With the help of the Rahaga, they have to find a creature called the Keetongu and fight against the Visorak and their leaders, Sidorak and Roodaka, in order to change back to normal. I know that some of you guys remembered and said that movie isn't the best of the movie series, but I'll bet some of you do liked the movie. True it's sad in some ways, like Vakama betraying the Toa and helping the bad guys and the Toa purposely unleashed their dreaded and powerful archenemy, Makuta, who got out of their prison (and goes to take over the universe), but the movie shows some good character development and how Makuta got out of his prison. Anyway, the movie came out in October 11th, 2005, which was ten years ago, and is the last Bionicle to be made by Miramax before Bionicle: The Legend Reborn. So, how can we celebrate it? A birthday cake? What is your favorite part of the movie if you watched it? For me, I liked the part where Matau was complaining and that made Keetongu laugh.
  21. Opening "poster.psd" log, please wait... Sketch on paper: OK Transposition to Digital tablet: OK Lineart: 2/2 Flat coloring: OK Shaders: OK Brightness: OK Background: OK Photomanipulation: 3/3 Fonts: 2/2 Signature: OK All systems go. Showing preview. CLICK HERE for "full" resolution (it's like 2000x4000, but the original hd file on my pc is HUGE! 5000x8000!) Deviantart page For Mata Nui's sake. That was abnormally long! D:
  22. This Matoran is based on the Jaller and Takua's appearance in MoL. I didn't make any particular character since silver and red was the only color scheme that worked for this MOC. Front Back Enjoy!
  23. Much better than I feared, not as good as I'd hoped. Major props to the art department of the film, the movie looks great and the CGI was really well-integrated. Scenes where characters and dinos were interacting in closeups looked really nice and it actually felt like an actual creature was there and getting touched, not just a green-skinned thing that was replaced later. I think some animatronics were used, but it's hard to tell. The premise of the new bad dino is also cool, turning living creatures into products to be marketed and focus-group tested. The Raptor-Squad was a very cool idea as well, but depending on how much you're willing to suspend your disbelief, you might be disappointed or think its silly. In the end, the moral remains the same though: Don't mess with nature. I was hoping for a Jeff Goldblum cameo and him going "How many times do I have to tell you 'I told you so'?" but no luck there. Which is also where the downsides start: The plot is very predictable, especially if you've seen the trailers. It's pretty obvious after the first 15 minutes who will live and who is dino-grub, with one exception IMO. While the characters are likeable, especially Chris Pratt as Owen, brothers Zach & Gray and of course Dr. Wu, the rest are not quite as interesting. Pictured: The deepest relationship in the movie. The other thing that bothered me a bit was the comedic relief. In the end nearly every action-scene was followed up with a funny one-liner or reaction. The first movie had those scenes too, but the difference was that the characters were playing it straight and in character in that film; here it feels forced because there is just way too much of it, which takes away from the suspenseful scenes and a lot of times feels out of place considering the situation the characters are in. Overall I really like the movie. It's a fun 2 hour adventure film, but if you prefer to wait until it comes out on DvD/stream, you're not missing anything by not seeing it in cinemas. I would rate it equal or a little higher than Lost World, definitely better than 3 but not as good as the original. There can only be one king after all
  24. http://imgur.com/a/4UH2w I'm going to start off by saying this build was largely experimental, this is not the final version of this character. (yes that mask is a 3D print, it costed me $45 USD without shipping. I seleted the "matte black steel" option) It was difficult making the torso proportional to his legs because I wanted to include as much detail as the movie from possible, and this extended the middle of the legs quite a bit. I do like how large this figure is, but the mask looks a bit small on that torso compared to the movie. That will be taken care of in an updated version of him. I'm not sure if this looks too "busy", it was not easy to try and prevent pieces from looking they were slapped on, especially in the legs. I wish some of those technic pieces came in dark red, at least his hands match some of the movie color. Surprisingly he's very sturdy - don't ask me how that's possible with those ankle connections. I'll post instructions if people want them. Let me know what you think! Suggestions and criticism are welcome.
  25. It's November 2005, and BZPower is in its heyday. 15 year old SPIRIT finishes off his trifecta of comedies with a vastly improved writing style. The jokes are original, the narrator gets a personality (which, admittedly, does go a little Douglas Adams at points), and there are even custom emoticons! Obviously, it's not perfect, but it's definitely an improvement from where things began. So sit back and relax, 'cause here we go again. -SPIRIT Chapter 1- Toa Resume Quest (The movie begins with a large close up of Makuta's red Protodermis cage.) Roodaka: Makuta... Director: What have you done?!?! The movie just started and you've messed it up already! Vakama always gets to say "Gathered friends, blah, blah, blah" first! ... GAH! I'm getting some coffee. (The Director pulls a mug out of his director's beret and walks over to the conveniently placed coffeemaker sticking out of the Great Barrier. Roodaka proceeds to scratch a piece of Protodermis off of Makuta's cage, which screeches at such a high frequency that the Director's mug shatters, drenching him in scalding hot coffee. A shard of the cage breaks off and lands conveniently on the ground where Turaga Vakama is telling the story with dramatic music in the background.) Turaga Vakama: Gathered friends, blah blah, blah. Director: Vakama: Listen again to our legend of the Bionicle... or if you would prefer, listen to this great elevator music. (Vakama switches the dramatic background music to elevator music.) Vakama: In the time before time, six mighty Toa (mightiest of which was me) vanquished the Makuta, encasing him in Protodermis held tight by the force of their combined elemental powers and a whole bunch of duct tape. Before becoming senile old men- Nokama: Vakama: What? ... The Toa united in a dutiful pledge to rescue the Matoran who were imprisoned by the Makuta. And so they returned to their once glorious home with every intention of enacting a great rescue, but Makuta had not left the sleeping Matoran unprotected. Their resting place was guarded by a ruthless king, a horde of poisoners (if that is a real word)- Director: Half the words in Bionicle aren't real! Takua: Actually, precisely 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375% are made up, and that number is also pie. Funny how that works out, isn't it? (When the Director suddenly realizes that Takua has returned to torment him for the entire movie again, he promptly gets up and puts his mouth under the coffeemaker.) Vakama: ... And a malevolent queen... who was actually just a viceroy, but since political correctness seems to be frowned upon, I won't say anything... ... And now the noble Toa (noblest of which was me) must face a web of shadows... stupid us for not hiring janitors... --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- (Title Scene) --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- (The Toa Metru are riding in the Lhikan II in rather dark and stormy weather. Fortunately for them, it was particularly dark and stormy weather so they couldn't see the sea monster that was in pursuit of them. Had they, they would have most likely peed their pants (if they were able to and if they wore pants, that is) and they would have screamed like girls-) Nokama: (What? ... Anyway, a tidal wave knocks everyone out of the boat and rudely interrupts Matau's game of poker, which shows what a great pilot he was... not. As the Toa bob around in the waves, Vakama tries to grab onto the camera for support, however, in doing so, he accidentally drowns the cameraman, Bob. No one was actually sorry about this because Bob had notoriously bad breath. The Toa regain consciousness in a pile of junk on the shore of Metru Nui. Onewa is the first to emerge from it.) Onewa: Well that stunk... Whenua puked 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375 times... I wonder if there's any significance to that. (But before Takua can point out that it's his favourite number, the Director distracts him by splashing him in the face with a mug of burning hot coffee.) Nuju: It would appear there was an error in our transport. Pilot error. (Told you so.) Matau: Hey! Vakama was cheating! He had six cards... all aces! Nokama: No need to be critical Matau, regardless of how gracefully, we made it here. Matau: Whatever... hey, could somebody dig me out? (Whenua digs him out and while there is still dust in the air, he swipes Matau's wallet without him knowing.) Matau: Hey! Give my wallet back, Whenua! (Never mind...) Toa Vakama: Are we going to stand around all night or are we going to rescue the Matoran? Onewa: Actually, we were going to sit around all night. Vakama: Onewa: In massage chairs. Vakama: Okay! Director: Onewa: Floating massage chairs. Director: Fine... (The Toa float off into the main city, but at that moment, the hover chairs decided that it would be an excellent idea for them to spontaneously combust. The Toa escape the wreckage and look around.) Matau: What's with all the webs? Not exactly encouraging my Toa-hero SPIRIT. (At that point, a bunch of Rahi stampede by. One of them flies right over the Toa's heads, all of whom duck except for Whenua, and so the Rahi accidentally flies up his nose. Inside Whenua's head, it finds a large vacant space where it decides to curl up and nest. However, it soon commits suicide out of loneliness and exits via his left ear.) Nokama: What was that? Director: Matau: Well, there goes the old neighbourhood... and Mr. Rogers too. Nokama: Everyone else: Nokama: Whenua: The Archives must have been breached. Onewa: What did you have in there? Whenua: Everything... most of it dangerous. Vakama: Did you have a Kane Ra? Whenua: Yes. Vakama: Did you have a Hoi? Whenua: Yes. Vakama: Did you have a zbwqfp29? Whenua: Yes Vakama: HA! Got you! That doesn't even exist! Whenua: So? We still had one. Vakama: Whenua: The Onu-Metru Archive housed a specimen of every kind of Rahi ever discovered... even some that haven't been discovered, some that are yet to be discovered, some that we discovered but forgot about, some that- Director: Whenua: Well, at least it used to... Vakama: And the webs? Whenua: The janitor union's on strike, but it was mostly the Visorak- Nuju: Aha! They work for the union, I knew it all along... Whenua: Right... Anyway, they're nasty creatures. Onewa: Coming from you, that's not good. Whenua: Hey! Onewa: What? I only called you a nasty creature. Whenua: Oh, good. Nokama: But what does it change? Vakama: Nothing. We go to the Coliseum, we rescue the Matoran, we make a quick stop at McDonald's, we leave. Whenua: Or get pulverized. Nuju: It is a possibility... Vakama Sarcastically: Yeah? And so's the possibility of me winning the lottery. (Vakama, feeling very pleased with himself, thinking that he has fooled SPIRIT, looks around hopefully, trying to see if his reverse psychology worked. It did not.) Vakama: ... We've faced the Makuta and won. I really doubt a few crusty relics are going to give us much trouble. Agreed? Other Toa: No. Vakama: Great! Follow me! (Vakama's reverse reverse psychology fails him and he and the other Toa are all hit by a bunch of Oohnorak Rhotuka.) Vakama: Can't... move... or stop... talking like... Captain... Kirk... (All the Toa fall over and land in a big pile.) Vakama: Is everyone alright? Matau: No, I had a bunch of rusty nails in my pocket and they've gone right into my leg. You're a complete moron Vakama. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberry. Nokama: Ew... rusty nails... Bickering won't get us out of this, Matau. Matau: No, but think-talking before charging straight into a trap might have. Vakama: I took one step. ONE STEP! I hardly see how that's charging... Matau: Vakama: If you have something to say Matau, say it! Matau: Draco Dormiens Nunquam Titillandus... okay that's all. (A Visorak scuttles near by.) Onewa: What was that? Director: Not you too! (Suddenly, a horde of Visorak rears up and screeches.) Matau: Let me guess, Visorak? Director: Whenua: Or in their tongue, "the stealers of life". Onewa: Do they even have tongues, all I see are teeth! SPIRIT: Hey! I was going to say that! Stupid movie writers, making the movies funny now... Nokama: Vakama, what do we do? Vakama: Well, I think- (You liar!) Vakama: That we should- Matau: Does this plan involve pie-food again? Vakama: Yup. Matau: Forget it then. Takua: Did somebody say pie? Director:
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