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Lewa0111 Nuva

Web of Silliness (OLD)

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I'd be, quite frankly, shocked if many of you remember this particular comedy. This was initially released back in '06, shortly after the original TNI. I'll admit it wasn't one of my better works, but for posterity's sake I'll repost what I have of it anyway. As usual, I'll repost a chapter every day or so to avoid post merging.

(NOTE: Everything below this line was copied verbatim from the original)

Hey! This is my first spoof of a BIONICLE movie, as WOS is the only one I own. Hopefully I'm not stealing anyone else's ideas, if I am please tell me so I can change it. Reviewers would be nice!

Anyway...

DVD Scene Selection:

Jaller: Hey Lewa0111, what's a DVD?

Lewa0111: Shut up. Anyway:
Chapter 1: Vakama's Boring Lecture/Roodaka breaks the Contract
Chapter 2: The Toa turn into Gibbering Beasts that Stalk the Night (AKA Hordika)/Roodaka's Great Plan
Chapter 3: The Key to Nongu?/Roodaka makes Vakama turn Evil (That didn't give anything away, did it?)
Chapter 4: Vakama Attacks/Roodaka tells Vakama to attack
Chapter 5: The fast-forwarded Search for Keetongu/Roodaka has the Visorak vacuum the Coliseum
Chapter 6: Battle of Metru Nui/Roodaka vs. Keetongu (plus some other insignificant king-like guy)
Chapter 7: Somebody fires a Tickle Spinner/Roodaka unlocks the Jail Cell
Chapter 8: A Sentimental Ending/Roodaka...does something
Chapter 9: End credit thingies/Roodaka doesn't do anything

Lewa0111: Hey Roodaka! How come every 'evil side' chapter name starts with your name?

Roodaka: Oh, I don't know...
...a weird coincidence?

Lewa0111: Yeah...well...on with the show!


Chapter 1: Vakama's Boring Lecture/Roodaka breaks the Contract

Roodaka: Makutaaaaaa...*pulls piece of stone out of a jail cell*

Lewa0111: NO! Didn't you read the contract?
It specifically says in section 3, Clause 15,000,000, Paragraph 3 1/8, Sentence -5, Sub-sentence B, Molecule 85, Atom 9, Quark 42, that when starting a BIONICLE movie, the first scene must involve Vakama giving a boring lecture before anything else happens!

Roodaka: Oh. I'm sorry, Vakama Go ahead.

Vakama: Gathered friends, acquaintances, and enemies, listen again to our boring lecture...of the BIONICLE. (No, I have no idea why I must always capitalize the letters of that word.) Ahem. In the time before time, but after the last time before time, yet it is before this time, but still...

Jaller: What? I'm confused...


Vakama: So am I. Anyway, I, (along with five other guys) vanquished Makuta--

Makuta: That's THE Makuta to you!

Vakama: Okay, the Makuta. We threw him in jail, held tight by the force of our combined jail keys. Before becoming old geezers, we made an oath (with no crosses count) to rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...

Jaller: Just get on with it!

Vakama: rrrrrrrr...

Random Muaka: Grrrrrr...

Both: rrrrrrrrrr... *They look at each other, the Muaka screams like a girl, and it runs off*

Vakama: My, that was frightening! Anyway, to rrrrescue the Matoran. But Makuta had not left the sleeping Matoran unprrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...

Hahli: VAKAMA!!

Vakama: rrrr...What was I saying? Oh yes,rrrrring! Ring ring! *pulls out cell phone* What? No, I'm giving them a boring lecture. ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?
Yeah, I want to see that! Bye. *To matoran and Toa Nuva* You know what? I'll just let you watch the rest on video instead. I have to go...Matau and Nokama are going out and I have to see that!

Everyone else:


Vakama: Well, bye! *turns on video tape*

Lewa0111: Everybody, the rest of the story will be ON THE TAPE. Don't be confused. That is all. Thank you.

Tahu: JUST GET ON WITH THE SHOW!!


Lewa0111: Heh heh heh...bye.

*ON THE TAPE*

*Matau is driving the Lhikan II (which for some reason llooks exactly like the Lhikan I), really really badly. Everyone almost drowns, but not before Vakama grabs the camera.*

Vakama: What's this weird thing doing in the middle of the ocean? Hmm...a camera. I'll keep it and see if maybe some new Toa might be interested in 1,000 years or so. *puts camera in pocket*

On the shore of Le Metru...

Onewa: Well, that stunk like a skunk making a slam dunk on a bunk in the trunk.

Nuju: Ookay...you know, that was the most intelligent thing I've heard you say all day, Onewa.

Onewa: Why, thank you. But I think our pilot is a little...well...he needs to have his license revoked.

Matau: Hey! I was only order taking. Vakama was the one order giving.

Yoda: That type of speech, copyrighted have I. *leaves*

Nokama: Regardless of how gracefully, I still look prettyful as ever! Does my armor match the color of the air, do you think?

Matau: Yeah, whatever. Could somebody get me out of here? Anybody?...Come on, please?

Whenua: I would, but I'm playing Monopoly with everyone over here.

Matau:


Vakama: Are we going to play Monopoly all night? Or are we gonna get captured by the Vis--I mean, rescue the Matoran?

Everyone but Matau and Vakama: Play Monopoly.

Matau: Vakama, could you help me out of here?

Bug: Have no fear, Underbug is here!

Everyone: Underbug?


Vakama: Let's just go, before more weird stuff happens!

EVeryone: Okay! *they leave*

Matau: Hey!

Edited by Lewa0111 Nuva
  • Upvote 1

My Script Comedies: | The Nuva Inn Remake | Ask Matau! Remake (ACCEPTING QUESTIONS!) |

My Prose Comedies: | The BZ-Nui Hack Wars | Mata Nova |

 

ANNOUNCEMENT: The Nuva Inn is BACK IN BUSINESS!! (See my blog for more info on my writing projects)

ANNOUNCEMENT 2: Looking for voice actors and artists/animators for an upcoming video project! PM me if interested!

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I'm back, with a new chapter!

Chapter 2: The Toa are Transformed into Gibbering Beasts that Stalk the Night (AKA Hordika)/Roodaka’s Great Plan (Part I)

*The Toa are walking through Le Metru*

Matau: What’s with all the webs? It’s not exactly encouraging my Toa-hero spirit.

Onewa: You have spirit?

Matau: Are you insulting me?

Onewa: Maybe…

Matau: ...
...

*quiet meowing sound*

Lewa0111: Hey Narrator! It’s supposed to be a ROAR, not a meow!

Narrator: Sheesh. Okay, fine.

*roar*

Whenua: What was that all about?

Matau: Stuff.

Onewa: Thank you, Captain Obvious!

*A bunch of Kikanalo stampede by*

Nokama: Hey, old friends!

Onewa, Whenua, and Nuju:


*A bat flies by*

Nokama: What was that?

Whenua: The Archives must have been breached.

Onewa: What did you have in there?

Whenua: Everything.

Nuju: Even an autographed copy of BIONICLE #1?

Whenua: Except for an autographed copy of BIONICLE #1.

Nuju: Dang it.

Whenua: The Onu-Metru archives houses a specimen of every Rahi beast ever discovered…at least, it used to.

Matau: Hey, you already said that in BA#7!

Everyone:


Vakama: And the webs?

Whenua: Internet. Oh, you mean those webs. Visorak, nasty creatures.

Onewa:
THANK YOU, CAPTAIN OBVIOUS!!

Nokama: But what does it change?

Vakama: Widgets into half-widgets.

Everyone else:


Nokama: Read the script again.

Vakama: *flips through script book* Oh, sorry. Nothing! We go to the Coliseum, rescue the Matoran, leave behind the annoying ones, then leave.

Whenua: Or get pulverized.

Nuju: It is a possibility.

Onewa: I hereby appoint you the New Captain Obvious.

Vakama: We’ve faced Makuta—

Makuta: That’s the Makuta!

Vakama: Wait, aren’t you supposed to be in a jail cell? Oh well…we’ve faced the Makuta, and won! I really doubt a few crusty relics are going to give us much trouble.

Random Ohno!rak: Hey! I’m not that old!

Vakama: Follow me!

Nuju: I don’t want to.

Vakama: All right, let’s play ‘Follow the Leader’ then. I’m leader.

Nuju: Yay! I love that game!

*Vakama gets hit with a Rhotuka*

Matau: Hey! Look at that! Let’s just stand here and see if we get hit by one, too!

*Everyone gets hit with a Rhotuka*

Vakama: Can’t move!

Whenua: Can’t stop!

Onewa: Can’t get rid of all you Captain Obviouses!

*They all fall down*

Vakama: Is everyone okay?

Matau: We just got hit by a Rhotuka, and you think we’re okay?

Nokama: Umm…how do you know what they’re called?

Matau: *holds up copy of BA #8* I read BA #8!

Onewa: Okay, enough with the BA book jokes!

*Visorak start screeching*

Whenua: Those are Visorak. In their tongue, the stealers of life, or in BA #9 *holds up book* the Poisonous Scourge.

Onewa:


Nokama: What do we do?

Vakama: Sit here like cool dudes until someone comes and captures us.

Nokama: Good idea.

*They all get captured, but since this next part is too boring, we’ll just skip to the Coliseum*

*Everything fast forwards with people talking in squeaky voices*

Sidorak: Kollerak. Or is it Keelerak?

Keelerak: I am a Keelerak, but my name is Kollorak.

Sidorak: Oh, okay. It’s nothing important, I hope. Seeing as you’re late. This had better be good.

Keelerak: You just contradicted yourself. Anyway, the Toa have returned for the Matoran—Matoran that now belong to you.

Sidorak: Toa? So, they have returned for the Matoran—Matoran that now belong to me.

Keelerak: Why are you just saying what I just said?

Sidorak: So that the people watching the videotape on Vakama’s camera can know what you said. I assume because you’re not twitching uncontrollably, your epilepsy has been cured?

Keelerak: No, but the Toa have already been captured.

*Sidorak and Keelerak walk out to the web room, doing an ‘evil villain’ walk the whole way.*

Sidorak: Drop them.

*Keelerak runs, but then Roodaka steps on him*

Keelerak: Ouch!

Roodaka: Is it to be so simple, Sidorak?

Sidorak: Roodaka! My queen.

Onewa: Now you’re doing the Captain Obvious thing, too?

Roodaka: No, not your queen. Not yet.

Sidorak: Of course, the contract.
You have something to say?

Roodaka: Only that leaders are judged by the quality of the judges. Teachers teach us this.

Sidorak: The Toa?

Roodaka: Fantastic judges, worthy of a trial, and therefore a sentence that will be remembered in all time. Only, be sure your method allows for some proof. For evidence’s sake.

Sidorak: Proof?

Roodaka: Bring me their bodies. *eye twitches violently*


Next: Part II!

  • Upvote 1

My Script Comedies: | The Nuva Inn Remake | Ask Matau! Remake (ACCEPTING QUESTIONS!) |

My Prose Comedies: | The BZ-Nui Hack Wars | Mata Nova |

 

ANNOUNCEMENT: The Nuva Inn is BACK IN BUSINESS!! (See my blog for more info on my writing projects)

ANNOUNCEMENT 2: Looking for voice actors and artists/animators for an upcoming video project! PM me if interested!

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Anyway, on to Part II!

Chapter 2: The Toa are Transformed into Gibbering Beasts that Stalk the Night (AKA Hordika)/Roodaka’s Great Plan (Part II)

Lewa0111: If you don’t know what’s happened in Part I yet, go back and read it. I really hate people who read the end first. If you’ve already read the end, stop reading this message and skip to the scene. I said stop. You can stop now. Go away! I said, STOP READING MY LINE! Why are you still reading this? Oh well.

*The Toa are in web cocoons over the Coliseum. Two Visorak are on a web below, and one of them falls off.*

Boggarak: MOMMEEEEEEE!!1!!

Whenua: That’s encouraging.

Onewa: Didn’t I tell you to stop doing the Captain Obvious?

Matau: Do the Captain Obvious?
*singing* Do the Captain Obvious
Come on, Baby, Do the Captain Obvious,
Do the Captain Obvious with me, yeah,
Do the Captain Obvious with me!


Nuju: All right, that’s enough. You’re done.

Matau: Aww!

Vakama: Hey, we’re in a cocoon, after all.

Matau: Well, fire-spitter…

Vakama: For the last time, don’t call me that!


Matau: …we can’t say you didn’t show us the city! Of course, we can say that you got us captured, poisoned, and, seeing as I’ve read BA #9…

Onewa: >:(


Matau: …imminently turned into ugly freaks and rescued by Rahaga!

Everyone else: :unsure:


Onewa: *muffled* I don’t agree.

Matau: He agrees.

Onewa: *muffled* Hey—what?

Nokama: This is not Vakama’s fault.

Matau: Then whose is it?

Nokama: Umm…Onewa’s! :D


Onewa: *muffled* Hey!

Matau: He says, ‘It is Vakama’s fault, and Matau is the smartest, most handsome, kind, and cool guy I know.’

Onewa: *muffled*
:bigeek: What?!?

Vakama: Now I’m supposed to make a big leader speech right here, but since you guys probably won’t know what I’m saying anyway, I’ll just say, ‘No matter how much I may want to, I can’t just change.’

*His arm turns into a big fire claw*

Nuju: Talk about coincidence.

Vakama: AAHH!! *burns Onewa’s webbing*

Onewa: Watch it!

Vakama: What is this weird thing?

*They all start changing, and then fall, but somehow Nokama teleports back into her cocoon.*

Vakama: Nokama! Help!

Nokama: Hey, how’d I get back up here? And did you ever notice how much our names sound the same?

Vakama: Just get me down from here!

Nokama: What am I supposed to do from up here?

*Vakama turns into a Hordika, then falls*

*Nokama falls right after Vakama, they both fall for a while, then a helicopter picks each one up*

Norik: Thank you for flying Norik Airlines. While traveling, please keep your hands and feet inside the vehicle at all times. If you are interested in our special ‘Hordika Discount’, please talk to Pouks for details. That is all.

Vakama: My hands and feet are the vehicle! So how can I keep them inside? *awkward silence* Answer me! I am a freak!

Norik: Exactly.

*Back in Roodaka’s chambers*

Roodaka: The Toa have returned to me, as you said they would. Even now their bodies are being carried on the Rahaga Airlines, which will help me to find the ‘Get out of Jail Free’ card that keeps us apart!

Boggarak: Umm…why are you talking to yourself? Are you schizophrenic? The Toa aren’t.

Roodaka:
:burnmad: What is it? The Toa? Why do you speak of them as if they’re still alive? :burnmad:

Boggarak: Umm…because…I have to go to the bathroom! *runs away*

Roodaka: Rahaga Airlines?

*At a random fountain in the middle of nowhere*

Matau: What happened? Hello? Darn Vakama…why’d we have to listen to him?

Mata Nui: Because I appointed him leader!

Matau: That was rhetorical. *goes to a pond* What? Aah! No, this isn’t me! I can’t be ugly…but I am. Hmm…maybe just the water is ugly. Yeah, the water is the problem. *attacks water* Nope.

*The other Toa come up*

Matau: Aah! No! Stay back!

Whenua: It’s me!

Onewa: CAPTAIN OBVIOUS AGAIN?!?!?!?!? :burnmad: :burnmad: :burnmad:


Matau: I’m dangerous, I’m ugly, and I’ll uglify you.

Onewa: Uglify? :blink:


Nokama: It’s all right, Matau.

Matau: Nokama?

Onewa: :sarcastic:


Nokama: Matau…it’s all right.

Matau: All right? You call this all right?

Nokama: Actually, I do.

Matau: You want to get married?

Nokama: :burnmad:

Matau: Dang it.

Nokama: Now, we’ll all stop making dumb jokes.

Whenua: Because that’s what friends do.

Nuju: Yeah.

Matau: I don’t see you saying that, Vakama!

Vakama: Actually, you would only hear me say that, not see. And besides, Onewa didn’t say that, either!

Onewa: That. :P


Vakama: I’m through with the dumb jokes.

Matau: Well, that’s the first good thing I’ve heard since I’ve been ugly looking.

Nuju: Regardless of how we look, it might be better if we figure out why we’ve become…whatever it is we are.

Matau: I know that! Roodaka mutated us into Hordika!

Nuju: :blink:


Matau: BA #9, remember?

Onewa: Ugh.

Random voice out of nowhere: If you are wise, if you wish to be less ugly again, then you will follow us to the Toa Scout Camp.

Whenua: What is it with BIONICLE and mysterious voices appearing out of nowhere?

Edited by Lewa0111 Nuva

My Script Comedies: | The Nuva Inn Remake | Ask Matau! Remake (ACCEPTING QUESTIONS!) |

My Prose Comedies: | The BZ-Nui Hack Wars | Mata Nova |

 

ANNOUNCEMENT: The Nuva Inn is BACK IN BUSINESS!! (See my blog for more info on my writing projects)

ANNOUNCEMENT 2: Looking for voice actors and artists/animators for an upcoming video project! PM me if interested!

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Chapter 3: The Key to Nongu?/Roodaka makes Vakama turn Evil (That didn’t give anything away, did it?)

Roodaka: Because we need to make this movie longer, I will just put in a little paragraph that doesn’t do anything to further the plot. Rest, my Makuta…(even though you can’t because you’re stuck in jail)…Sleep (Wait, isn’t that the same thing as ‘rest’?) and know that as you do, I draw pictures that come close to waking you.)

Lewa0111: Hey! That was supposed to happen back in Chapter 2! Who messed with the script?

Kohrak-Kal: :lookhere: Hee hee hee…

Lewa0111: Give me that! :burnmad:

 

*five minutes later*

Lewa0111: Now that Kohrak-Kal has been erased from this comedy, let’s just get on with the story.

*At the Toa Scout Camp*

Norik: Key to Nongu…

Onewa: Keetongu?

Norik: No, the Key to Nongu!

Matau: *waving BA#9 in Norik’s face* Umm…it’s ‘Keetongu’, not ‘Key to Nongu’.

Onewa: :sarcastic:


Norik: Sorry. Keetongu. Is a most honorable creature, not to mention our only hope to stand against the Visorak horde!

Nuju: Use proper grammar, Norik!

Everyone else: NERD!!

Nuju: Hey!

Norik: Anyway, if you are to be the morons…ahem, I mean TOA…you once were, it is Keetongu you must seek.

Nokama: But what are we now?

Norik: Hor-

Matau: Hordika! I already told you that!

Everyone else: :annoyed:

 

Nuju: Are Norik and those guys Hordika, too?

Norik: Do we look as ugly as you guys? We are Rahaga. Norik is my name.

Lewa0111: You know, anyone reading this can already tell that’s your name, because it starts each of your lines.

Norik: But they don’t know that they are Gaaki, Bomonga, Kualus, Pouks, and Mr. Spinny—I mean, Iruini. *Those Rahaga come down in that order*

Nokama: So, can you take us to this Keetongu?

Iruini: :lol:


Norik: Iruini! You’re grounded!

Iruini: :crying:


Nokama: I don’t understand.

Norik: Since, in the script, the red guy always gets to be the leader, I can ground people who ‘inappropriately suggest’ things. We Rahaga have been grounding each other for a long time so that we can find Keetongu, and there are those that…well…don’t believe in him.

Nuju: And you?

Norik: I believe. And I also believe in Santa Claus :xmas:
 , the Easter Bunny, and…

Nokama: Umm…TMI.

Matau: Whoa, there, sister! Shouldn’t we think-talk about this? I mean, this guy seems a little crazy. What do you think, mask melter?

Vakama: Don’t call me that, either! :burnmad:


Matau: Well, what should I call you? Burn-freak? Cross-wired? Invisible Man? Self-appointed Leader Dude? Bob the Monkey? Pyromaniac?

Vakama: Just call me Vakama.

Matau: :(
 Aww…where’s the fun in that?

Vakama: As for your question, I say we returned to Metru Nui to save Safari, not go on Matoran.

Lewa0111: Umm…Vakama? Read the script again. :lookhere:


Vakama: Oh, sorry. I mean, we returned to Matoran Nui to save Metru, not go on Safari.

Lewa0111: *clears throat*

Vakama: Who cares about the dumb SCRIPT?!? *smashes fire*

Vakama: :onfire:


Norik: And you have a way to do this? Perhaps using your crazy firepowers. (pun intended) Powers you have not yet learned to use.

Vakama: Shut up, you Rahkshi-cloned freak!

Norik: :crying:


*Vakama walks away*

Norik: I will give him a long and boring lectur—I mean, talk with him.

*Norik walks away too*

 

:miru: Lewa0111 :miru:

Edited by Lewa0111 Nuva

My Script Comedies: | The Nuva Inn Remake | Ask Matau! Remake (ACCEPTING QUESTIONS!) |

My Prose Comedies: | The BZ-Nui Hack Wars | Mata Nova |

 

ANNOUNCEMENT: The Nuva Inn is BACK IN BUSINESS!! (See my blog for more info on my writing projects)

ANNOUNCEMENT 2: Looking for voice actors and artists/animators for an upcoming video project! PM me if interested!

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This is pure genius! Great job writing it!


"Remember when the comics forum had a lot of good stuff? Let's make that a thing again." -Kazi the Matoran

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Huh. Originally that was the last of the reposted chapters I could find, but on a whim I checked again for them on the Wayback Machine and lo and behold, the whole second page of the topic twas found! HOORAY! So thanks, EG, for reminding me of this comedy by replying. Onward, I suppose...

 

Chapter 3: The Key to Nongu?/Roodaka makes Vakama turn Evil (That didn’t give anything away, did it?) (Part 2)

Jaller: Hey! How come you didn’t say that the last one was a ‘part 1’?

Lewa0111: Why do you care? You’re not even in this movie, little shrimp!

Tahu: Don’t insult my villager! :burnma--

 

Everyone: DON'T!

 

Tahu: Aww...

Lewa0111: Let’s just keep going.

*Vakama’s walking like the Hunchback of Notre Dame down a dark alley*

Vakama: I can do it alone. I just hope some random Muaka doesn’t come out and mug me!

*A random Muaka comes out and tries to mug him*

Muaka: RAR!

Lewa0111: :glare:
 Muaka, you don’t have to say ‘RAR’, we can just assume that you’re growling.

Muaka: Sorry!

Vakama:
 You can talk?

Muaka: What? No, I can’t talk! Why would I talk?

Vakama: Riiiiggghhhttt… :wacko:


*the Muaka runs away*

Muaka: Mommeee!!!!

Vakama: Uhh...


Norik: It wasn’t really talking.

Vakama: I :begging: 
to differ.

Norik: You don’t have to put emoticons in your sentences. It was just frightened. Muaka are loners by nature, and uncomfortable being around emoticons! There’s a bit of him in you!

Vakama: *looks at himself, and sees a Muaka head sticking out of his toe* That’s disturbing.

Norik:
 I didn’t mean literally...

*The muaka head disappears*

Vakama: :wacko:


Norik: Careful with that emoticon, it’s a most powerful tool!

Vakama: I’ll be sure to make good use of the ‘wacko’ emoticon…wise one.

Norik: But what about your frie—I mean, acquaintances?

Vakama: Former acquaintances. They think using the ‘wacko’ emoticon is so easy? They should try it themselves.

*Meanwhile...*

Nuju: :wacko:


*Back with Vakama and Norik*

Norik: True, but they won’t succeed without you, or you without them…

Vakama: Oh, so we don’t need you, though, eh? :evilgrin:


Norik: …and neither of you will succeed without us, or the ‘wacko’ emoticon!

Vakama: Dang it. How do you know that?

Norik: Because it says so in the script. :lookhere:
 Unity, Duty, Destiny. It starts with unity!

Vakama: Not if you’re looking in a mirror, then it says, ‘Ynitsed, Ytud, Ytinu!’ :D


Norik: Stop using those emoticons! :burnmad:

Vakama: Hypocrite. :smilevakama:

Norik: :crying:

Vakama: :wacko:

*At the Toa Scout Camp*

Nokama: Vakama? Oh, it’s Norik.

Norik: Vakama has a lot of emoticons on his mind. We must give him time to find the ‘happy’ one.

Onewa: What if he finds the ‘burnmad’ one instead?

Norik: Now, we should begin our search for Keetongu at once.

Matau: *wearing a cowboy hat and boots* Right! Keetongu! Gettin’ turned back into our ole, everhandsome selves! Let’s get on that!

Nokama: Umm…why do you sound like a cowboy?

Matau: Because…it’s fun! :P


Nuju: But where do we start?

Norik: Somewhere over the rainbow...

 

IN THE PRESENT

 

Hahli: Whoa, pause the tape! I can’t write this fast enough!

Lewa0111: We can’t pause this! There are too many BZP members who want to find out what happens next!

Hahli: What? ...You know what, never mind.


ON THE TAPE

*Vakama is walking through another dark alley*

Vakama: I don’t care anymore if a random Muaka decides to come out and mug me. I have the power of the ‘wacko’ emoticon now!! *looks at the Coliseum* I can beat the Visorak! All I need is a few hundred pounds of emoticon power.

*A Boggarak shoots a spinner at him*

Vakama: Is that your best shot? Watch this! :wacko:


*The boggarak explodes, but suddenly a bunch of visorak come out of nowhere and shoot his emoticon launcher*

Vakama: Dang it! My emoticon launcher is down!

*Blackout transition*

Vakama:
 I hate blackout transitions!

*At the coliseum, there’s a roar*

Vakama: Whoa! I can roar like a crazy Rahi!

Crazy Rahi: Whoa! I can talk like a Toa!

Vakama: Not funny.


*Roodaka walks in*

Roodaka: You are becoming.

Vakama: I’ve already became a Hordika. How many more things can I become?

Roodaka: You can become a friend or a foe. That’s for you to decide. I have a proposal for you.

Vakama: No thank you, I have a policy against dating evil shadow women.

Roodaka: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!
 --Wait, was that on the tape? No! CUT!!!

Lewa0111: No cuts, we’re on the air!

Roodaka: Dang it. Anyway, I have a different proposal.

Vakama: And if I decide to use my emoticon on you?

Roodaka: You’ll never be able to defeat my ‘burnmad’ emoticon, anyway.

*At the Great Temple*

Nuju: The Great Temple?

*That’s what I said!*

Lewa0111: Shut up.

Matau: I’m sure it could have helped our old crazy selves, but now?

Onewa: We’ll never find away to change back if you keep saying that.

Matau: What? What does that have to do with anything?

Onewa: Abulabulabula!

Matau: Grrrrgrgrgrgrgr!

Onewa: akugjhkahgakdgbaglahtgl;askltuyh al;tuh;kgua ;rguha;ughlauhglauhg!

Matau: kjuvahskrjeghakwtyao47ylughliugylaurhgli47lthlua3lhldfhlsdifh;sdkughaig!!

Norik: If you’re quite done, we should go inside.

*In the coliseum*

Roodaka: Secrecy is such a burden, but Sidorak mustn’t know we’ve spoke.

*Roodaka is carrying a big burden on her back labeled, ‘Secrecy’*

Vakama: Who’s Sidorak?

Roodaka: A stupid moro—Oh, I mean, ruler of the Visorak.

Vakama: And he doesn’t know you’ve captured me?

Roodaka: Umm…does it look like I’ve captured you? We’re just taking an evening stroll.

Vakama: What about those random Boggarak?

Roodaka: They are loyal to me. They obey me because I am a girl, like them. That is leadership, Bakama.

Vakama: It’s Vakama. With a "V"!

Roodaka: Oh.

Vakama: So…what did you want me to see?

Roodaka: This. *points to Ta-Metru*

Vakama: Ta-Metru!

*Duh.*

Vakama: It was my home. It meant everything to me. It still does.

Roodaka: It can be your home again, to rule as you see fit.

Vakama: But all the Matoran are gone, in spheres!

Roodaka: Oh yeah. I forgot. But you can replace them with Visorak if you like! Lead the Visorak horde!

Vakama: If I get to lead them, can I have them do anything?

Roodaka: Yeah. Like, for example…THROW YOURSELVES OFF THE LEDGE! *the Visorak jump off the ledge and die*

Vakama: :OMG:
 THEY’RE DEAD!!! MURDERER!!!

Roodaka: Don’t worry, they’re only bungee jumping. *Visorak come back up on bungee cords*

Vakama: Phew. Well, can I have them attack you and take over the world?

Roodaka: Ha ha, n
o. Anything else though.

Vakama: I’m listening. *he puts in his green contacts*

Questions? Comments? Pie?

 

~Lewa# Studios


My Script Comedies: | The Nuva Inn Remake | Ask Matau! Remake (ACCEPTING QUESTIONS!) |

My Prose Comedies: | The BZ-Nui Hack Wars | Mata Nova |

 

ANNOUNCEMENT: The Nuva Inn is BACK IN BUSINESS!! (See my blog for more info on my writing projects)

ANNOUNCEMENT 2: Looking for voice actors and artists/animators for an upcoming video project! PM me if interested!

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New chapter!

Chapter 4: Vakama Attacks/Roodaka tells Vakama to Attack

*At the Great Temple*

Norik: Come along! Our best chance to find Keetongu lies within the temple!

--COMMERCIAL BREAK--

Random Ta-Matoran: Do you like to surf? Do you like to surf on lava? Then you need the Lavaboard 3000! *holds up a rock* It looks like a rock, but it’s really a lava board! Watch! *he starts surfing on the rock in lava, but then wipes out, and there’s a cookie cutter imprint of him in the wall*

Some guy: CUT!!!

RTM: Uhh...
Anyway, buy the Lavaboard 3000! Only fifty widgets a piece!

--UN COMMERCIAL BREAK--

Norik: Is something wrong?

Matau: Yeah, there was a commercial break in the middle of our life! That’s kind of strange.

Onewa: Is anything not strange around here?

Matau: Good point.

Norik: I understand. The commercial break is driving you insane. Our work here will take only a moment. We need until…tomorrow morning.

Whenua: :bigeek: 
TOMORROW MORNING? That’s not a moment!

Norik: Whatever. *The Rahaga go inside*

*In the Great Temple*

Gaaki: Tears, Tears! Follow the tears. Tears that reach the sky.

Iruini: AAH! I hate poetry!

Gaaki: It’s not poetry; it’s telling me how to find Keetongu.

*Norik walks in*

Norik: Hi.

Iruini: Hi.

Norik: Hi.

Iruini: Hi.

Norik: Hi.

Iruini: Hi.

Norik: Hi.

Iruini: Hi.

Gaaki: This’ll go on all day.

*Later…*

Norik: Hi.

Iruini: Hi.

Gaaki: Excuse me? I heard something!

Norik: Probably just me.

Gaaki: No, this was a creature.

Norik: Visorak?

Gaaki: Nah, it sounded more like Vakama Hordika, turned evil.

Iruini: No way it could be him! That’s ridiculous!

Norik: This is quite a goofy tablet you’re reading. Take the others and go outside. I’ll be right behind you.

*Gaaki and Iruini leaves*

Vakama: Rar.

Norik: Who’s there?

Vakama: I doubt you’d recognize me. I put in green contacts the other day.

Norik: Show yourself!

Vakama: I’ve got some bad news. Gaaki’s not going to find her brothers upstairs.

Norik: Of course not! They’re outside! And anyway, they’re not Gaaki’s brothers, they’re more like her sister’s second cousin’s uncle’s father’s friend’s niece’s daughter’s cats, twice removed on her grandma’s side.

Vakama: Whatever. Give me one reason why I shouldn’t kill them all.

Norik: The other Toa! They need you to lead them!

Vakama: Always what’s best for the others! She was right about them, Norik. About my pie.

Norik: Who have you been talking to?

Vakama: The great PIE-MAKER. :P


Norik: Seriously.

Vakama: Oh, nobody, maybe just a Muaka, a couple of sleeping Matoran, the President, the evil queen of the Visorak, the…

Norik: :huh:


Vakama: Anyway, you don’t have to understand the message, just carry it.

Norik: This message…what is it?

Vakama: *pulls out a laptop, emails something to Norik, then disappears*

Norik: *reading from laptop* Hmm…RAR. RAR RAR. RAR RAR RAR. RAR. RAAAAAAAAARRRRR!! :OMG:
 *faints*

Vakama: That was too easy.

What happens when you press the fast forward button? Will the Toa find Keetongu? What is the meaning of Life, the Universe, and Everything? Find out in Chapter 5 of Web of Silliness! :D

 

~Lewa# Studios

 

:mirunu: Lewa0111 Nuva :mirunu:

Edited by Lewa0111 Nuva

My Script Comedies: | The Nuva Inn Remake | Ask Matau! Remake (ACCEPTING QUESTIONS!) |

My Prose Comedies: | The BZ-Nui Hack Wars | Mata Nova |

 

ANNOUNCEMENT: The Nuva Inn is BACK IN BUSINESS!! (See my blog for more info on my writing projects)

ANNOUNCEMENT 2: Looking for voice actors and artists/animators for an upcoming video project! PM me if interested!

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Chapter 4 1/2: Some Randomness and a Lawsuit

 

Lewa: HEY! What's with the half chapter!

 

Lewa0111: What's with you being in this comedy, when you aren't supposed to exist for another thousand years!

 

Lewa: Good point. *He leaves*

 

Onewa: Umm...why is there a half chapter here? Can't we just move on with the story?

 

Lewa0111: We can, but there’s a bit of an…er…lawsuit going on.

 

Matau: Lawsuit? Who’s suing you?

 

Katie the Boggarak: Me!

 

Matau: Why?

 

Katie: Because in the movie, I fell off a cliff and died! But in the book, :lookhere: it says that there’s supposed to be a ledge. I think I should live!

 

Onewa: Then why are you still here talking if you’re dead?

 

Katie: :???:

 

Onewa: Go figure.

 

Lewa0111: All I want to say is that this is a spoof of the movie, not the book. So the movie goes.

 

Katie: But…but…

 

Random Judge-type Person: :evilgrin:

 

Lewa0111: Er…I mean, let’s compromise! We’ll redo Chapter 4.

 

Katie: :D

 

RJTP: :D

 

Onewa: Well, at least everyone’s happy. Besides, I liked that chapter.

 

Lewa0111: Not the whole thing, just the part with the ledge.

 

Roodaka: HOLD IT!!!!!! I was there, remember? Katie, none of you guys died in that scene. You were bungee jumping!

 

Katie: Oh yeah.

 

All Boggarak in Chapter 3: We forgot. Sorry! *They leave*

 

Matau: Wow. That was...pointless.

 

Lewa0111: Well, that’s that. Let’s get on with the chapter now.

 

Matau: You know, that whole thing was more than 300 words.

 

Lewa0111: I know, but I have a schedule to keep!

 

Matau: What schedule? You’ve not written another chapter here for more than 5 months!

 

Lewa0111: :lookaround:

 

Chapter 5: The fast-forwarded Search for Keetongu/Roodaka has the Visorak vacuum the Coliseum (part 1)

 

*The Toa (obviously except Vakama) are waking up*

 

Nokama: *yawn* I’m tired.

 

Nuju: Actually, you have already met the required 9 hours of sleep for someone of your size.

 

Everyone else: NERD!

 

Nuju: Shut up.

 

Whenua: Hey, anybody seen Matau?

 

Nokama: Oh, I’ll go look for him.

 

*She sees half of Matau sitting in half of a nest, and the other half is sitting on the ground normally*

 

Nokama: :blink:

 

Matau: What?

 

Nokama: Umm…what’s with the half a nest?

 

Matau: Ask Lewa0111. He tried to cut this scene out, but I have the book! :lookhere: So I made him compromise, which ended up with this weird scene.

Nokama: Umm…oooohkay…

 

Matau: Anyway, let’s just get going.

 

*Later…*

 

Matau (in a Nuju voice): Norik said they’d be done by daybreak!

 

*Everyone looks at Nuju*

 

Nuju: What?

 

Matau (in a Nuju voice): What?

 

Nuju: Hey, cut it out!

 

Matau (in a Nuju voice): Hey, cut it out!

 

Nuju: This is annoying!

 

Matau (in a Nuju voice): This is annoying!

 

Nuju: Hmm…I think Nokama’s a hottie!

 

Matau (in a Nuju voice): I think Nokama’s a hottie!

 

Nokama: *SLAP!*

 

Matau: :dazed:

 

Nuju: :superfunny:

 

Onewa: Look, can we just get to the…Great…Temple?

 

Matau (in normal voice): Hey, that’s my line!

 

Onewa: Shut up! :burnmad:

 

Whenua: Hey, guys, stop wasting emoticons!

 

Nokama: Isn’t there something more important here? Like…finding out what happened to the Rahaga?

 

Other Toa: Oh, right. *They all run in the Great Temple*

 

Whenua: BOMONGA!!!!

 

Nuju: KUALUS!!!!

 

Nokama: GAAKI!!!!

 

Onewa: IRUINI!!!!

 

Matau: STOP STEALING MY LINES!!!!

 

*A random yellow Rahaga pops out*

 

Rahaga: Hi, I’m Rahaga Stopstealingmylines.

 

All Toa: :blink:

 

Stopstealingmylines: I thought you guys called my name. Oh well. *leaves*

 

Matau: IRUINI!!!! Wait, I have an idea! *bakes a pie* IRUINI!!!! COME FOR PIE!!!! *awkward silence* Rats. Didn’t work.

 

Nokama: Hey, has anyone thought of calling for Norik?

 

Nuju: Never thought of it. NORIK!!!! *They hear Norik breathing*

 

Nokama: See? Told you so!

 

Whenua: Let me dig him out.

 

Onewa: I said, I can do it myself!

 

Whenua: Yeah, well, you missed one. *kicks rock*

 

Kopaka and Pohatu: STOP STEALING MY LINES!!!!

 

Stopstealingmylines: Stop calling my name!

 

Lewa0111: Get out of here, all of you! You’re not in this story!

 

Kopaka, Pohatu, and Stopstealingmylines: Fine. *They all leave*

 

Nokama: I think Norik’s hurt.

 

Onewa: :sarcastic: Thanks for the newsflash, Captain Obvious.

 

Matau: I can’t even think of a joke for this scene! I wish Vakama was here so I could make fun of him.

 

Norik: He…was…

 

*dramatic music plays*

 

Matau: Whenua, stop playing your boom box.

 

Whenua: Sorry. *takes out ‘Dramatic Music Vol. 1’ from his CD player*

 

Lewa0111: THE END

 

:mirunu: Lewa0111 Nuva :mirunu:


My Script Comedies: | The Nuva Inn Remake | Ask Matau! Remake (ACCEPTING QUESTIONS!) |

My Prose Comedies: | The BZ-Nui Hack Wars | Mata Nova |

 

ANNOUNCEMENT: The Nuva Inn is BACK IN BUSINESS!! (See my blog for more info on my writing projects)

ANNOUNCEMENT 2: Looking for voice actors and artists/animators for an upcoming video project! PM me if interested!

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This is not merely funny. This is HILARIOUS. Best moments are :superfunny: or :lol-sign: and throughout the reading of this I had a :biggrin: on my face.

 

Yes! Yes! I have mastered emoticon speech!!!

 

Anyway, when we get another chapter of this? I await it eagerly.


"Mutiny, Booty and Entropy"  - The Three Vices of the Frostelus

[flash=250,100]http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/sprxtrerme/BANNERS/thornax.swf

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Chapter 5: The fast-forwarded Search for Keetongu/Roodaka has the Visorak vacuum the Coliseum (part 2)

 

*Vakama is at the Colosseum knocking on the door*

 

Narrator: It's spelled Coliseum!

 

*No it's not, that's the way that Pokemon Colosseum is spelled!*

 

Narrator: I hate Pokemon.

 

*WHAT? I'LL KILL YOU!!!!*

 

Lewa0111: Since the Narrator and Caption Writing Guy are fighting, I'll take over Narrator's job.

 

(And I, Parenthesis Guy, will do the captions!)

 

Lewa0111: Whatever.

 

(Vakama is at the Colosseum/Coliseum knocking on the door)

 

Vakama: KNOCK!

 

(The Visorak laugh at him)

 

Vakama: KNOCK! KNOCK!

 

(A Sidocomm™ brand intercomm lights up)

 

Sidorak (on the Sidocomm™): You must be mistaken, Toa. You don't have to say 'knock' here, just do it!

 

Vakama: It is you who is confused, Sidorak. I am no simple Toa. I am...the wielder of the 'wacko' emoticon! :wacko:

 

Sidorak: Impressive.

 

Vakama: And, I present you with a gift--these two droids. Both are hardworking and will serve you well.

 

Sidorak: Wrong movie!

 

Vakama: Whoops. I mean, you have earned...a Boulderbadge!

 

Sidorak: This is BIONICLE, not Pokemon!

 

Narrator: I hate pokemon!

 

*You didn't capitalize the 'P'? DIE!*

 

( :blink: )

 

Vakama: Anyway, I meant that I'll give you these 6 Rahaga.

 

Sidorak: Let's talk. Inside.

 

(Inside...)

 

Sidorak: Hey! There are only 5 Rahaga here! I specifically ordered the 6 for the price of 1 deal!

 

Vakama: Oops...

 

(Stopstealingmylines flies in, and Vakama captures him)

 

Sidorak: He'll work. :)

 

(Vakama randomly leaves)

 

Sidorak: Weird.

 

(At the throne room...)

 

Roodaka: Go ahead, Vakama. Touch it.

 

Sidorak: You can look, Vakama, but don't touch.

 

Vakama: Geez, make up your minds, you two.

 

Sidorak: Actually, I don't care, I just said that because it was in the script. :lookhere:

 

Vakama: Oh, okay. (sits in throne)

 

Sidorak: Because of you, the Rahaga will be put where they belong...in a CAGE! Or maybe I'll just put them on the spikes. It looks cooler.

 

Roodaka: Coolness is just the beginning of what he can offer you. Vakama is my Christmas gift to you, my king. A master for your horde.

 

Sidorak: But it's not Christmas.

 

Roodaka: That's why the other holidays will soon arrive. I'll give you a Toa on Easter, your Birthday, Halloween, the Fourth of July, and Thanksgiving.

 

Sidorak: Ooh.

 

Roodaka: Consider it...an engagement gift.

 

Vakama: :bigeek: But I thought...That's creeping me out!

 

GregF: BIONICLE characters don't get married!

 

Roodaka: Hypocrite.

 

GregF: WAAH!!!

 

Roodaka: Time to put my Visorak to work on housecleaning. (leaves)

 

Narrator: :dazed:

 

* :winner: *

 

Lewa0111: I guess that's the end of that. Stay Tuned for Part 3!

 

:mirunu: Lewa0111 Nuva :mirunu:

Edited by Lewa0111 Nuva

My Script Comedies: | The Nuva Inn Remake | Ask Matau! Remake (ACCEPTING QUESTIONS!) |

My Prose Comedies: | The BZ-Nui Hack Wars | Mata Nova |

 

ANNOUNCEMENT: The Nuva Inn is BACK IN BUSINESS!! (See my blog for more info on my writing projects)

ANNOUNCEMENT 2: Looking for voice actors and artists/animators for an upcoming video project! PM me if interested!

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The Coliseum/Colosseum gag was so good (I can never remember which is the BIONICLE spelling).
I was expecting Sidorak to start singing 'U Can't Touch This' when he caught Vakama goin' for his throne (it's all KrekkaFilms' fault https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0Cg2MrgYEo).

 

Anyway, hilarious chapter (as always). Who wouldn't want a SidocommTM intercom?


"Mutiny, Booty and Entropy"  - The Three Vices of the Frostelus

[flash=250,100]http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/sprxtrerme/BANNERS/thornax.swf

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Chapter 5: The fast-forwarded Search for Keetongu/Roodaka has the Visorak vacuum the Coliseum (part 3)

*Outside the Great Temple*

Nokama: Vakama would never do such a thing! His name sounds almost like mine! Right?

Everyone else: Wrong.


Nokama: Nobody likes me...

Norik: You are correct, Nokama. Nobody does like you!

Random Po-Matoran Who Wasn't Infected For Some Reason: Hi Nokama, I'm Nobody!

 

Nokama: :blink:

Norik: But as for Vakama, he's changed. He now wears green contacts instead of red ones. Just as you all may soon get horrendously colored contacts, if we do not find Keetongu, who can give you all LASIK surgery.

Onewa: What happened to Vakama?

Norik: I fear he has given himself completely to the yeast that lurks within us all!

Onewa: Don't you mean 'beast'?

Norik: How would you know what I'm supposed to say?

Onewa: It's in the script.


Norik: Oh. Sorry. It should be 'beast', but let me try again. 'I fear he has given himself completely to the beast that lurks within us all!' Gibbering Beasts that Stalk the Night, or GBSN, is its name. (AKA Hordika.)

Nuju: GBSN? Sounds like a TV news channel.

Whenua: But I don't want to be a news reporter!

Norik: It's not all bad, Whenua, not if you don't allow it to be. Being a TV reporter gives you a good salary and lets you be on TV all the time! But we're getting too off topic now.

Nokama: Assuming you're correct, (like that'll ever happen,) we must find Keetongu so that we can get the surgery needed to have normal colored eyes again!

Norik: Yes, but I must warn you. Vakama may have superglued his contacts to his eyes, something even Keetongu cannot counteract. For that, we'll have to find a plumber.

Everyone else: Uhh...


Norik: What?

Matau: Never mind. I can do it myself, with my Anti-Superglue™! *holds up bottle of Anti-Superglue™*

Norik: And if that doesn't work?

Matau: It has a 30-day warranty.

Nokama: Umm, Matau? You bought that 31 days ago.

Matau: Aww...


Nuju: But where can we start looking for Keetongu?

Norik: We were able to translate some of the inscription before Vakama's attack. It read, "Follow the falling tears until they reach the end of the emoticon. It is there you will find Keetongu."

Matau: Tears? What tears?


Great Temple: :crying:

Matau: Oh those tears!

Onewa: It's not much of a plan, but it is one.

*A TV remote falls out of the Great Temple*

Norik: *gasp*
 It's The Remote!

Nuju: Shouldn't it not be capitalized?

Norik: No, it's The Remote. It can control time.

Matau: Ooh! Ooh! I wanna try! *grabs remote, and presses a button*

Nokama: WellwhocaresaboutTheRemoteletsjustgoandfindKeetongu!

Turaga Vakama: (off the tape) And so, the Toa traversed the island of Metru Nui, starting from this jungle which doesn't actually exist on that island, but the director put it there for dramatic effect. Aided by Matau's pressing the fast-forward button on The Remote, the trip took not very long. *You see everything going by superfast* As the Toa, of which I was clearly the awesomest,

Jaller: Hey! You weren't even there!

Turaga Vakama: Shut up. Anyway, we all traveled across the map until we had reached Ko-Metru, and...

(ON THE TAPE)

Matau: Whoathatsareallybigmountain! Heythatwasfungoingsofast! Ilikedpressingthefastforwardbutton!

Onewa: WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU ACCIDENTALLY PRESSED THE FAST-FORWARD BUTTON!
Give back The Remote right now!

Matau:
Waitaminuteletmepresstherewindbutton! *presses button*

*button presses* !buttonrewindthepressmeletminuteaWait
 :Matau

!now right Remote The back Give
!BUTTON FORWARD-FAST THE PRESSED ACCIDENTALLY YOU, MEAN YOU DO WHAT :Onewa

*He grabs The Remote from Matau and presses the 'play' button*

Onewa: Much better.

Everyone but Matau: MATAU!

Matau: What?

Norik: Come along! Let's go inside.

Everyone: Okay!

 

 

 

*Meanwhile, in the Coliseum*

 

Vakama: Hey Siddy!

Sidorak: Don't call me that.

Vakama: Okay Siddy.

Sidorak: :glare:
 

Vakama: Okay, fine, I'll stop. *muttering* Siddy.

Sidorak:  :annoyed:


Vakama: Hey! Whenever I call you 'Siddy' it makes you use an emoticon!

Sidorak: :mad:


Vakama: See? Siddy!

Sidorak: :afro:


Vakama: Siddy!

Sidorak: :alien:


Vakama: Siddysiddysiddysiddy!

Sidorak: :wakeup: :pirate: :OMG: :jester:

 

Vakama: Sidd-- *trips over a vacuum cleaner* Hey! Who put that there?

Random Visorak #462: Clickity click click dirk screet!

*Translation: Roodaka's having us work on housecleaning! She says that this place is too filthy.*

Sidorak: Oh, I see. Wait--you're the ones who're putting all the webs there in the first place!

Random Visorak #462: Squeaken clickit dirk screech!

*Translation: That doesn't matter. We just have to do whatever Roodaka tells us to, since she's the boss.*

Sidorak: AHEM!!!!!!!!!!!!

Random Visorak #462: Click squeakity screechen dirk!

*Translation: Sorry, Oh Great Omniscient Amazingly Cool Ruler and Wielder of the Burnmad Emoticon!*

Sidorak: Thank you very much! 
Go back to housecleaning.

Random Visorak #462: Squeak.

*Translation: Okay.*

Vakama: That sounded really weird for someone who can't speak Visorak.

Sidorak: Good point. I shall teach you to understand their language, sometime. But now...let me introduce you to the horde!

Visorak horde: HI THERE~!


Vakama: Hi there!

Sidorak: Aren't you going to do something cooler? You know, like a loud roar or something?

Vakama: Nah, that's too cliche.

Sidorak: Oh, okay.

Vakama: Now, guys! Can you make shapes?

Visorak Horde: YEAH!

Vakama: Okay...give me a 'V'!

*Horde forms into a V*

Vakama: Gimme an 'A'!

*Horde forms an A*

Vakama: Now a 'K'!

*Horde forms a K*

Vakama: How about another 'A'?

*Horde forms an A*

Vakama: Now an 'M'!

*Horde forms an M*

Vakama: And another 'A'!

*Horde forms an A*

Vakama: What does that spell?

Horde: POTATO!

Vakama: *facepalm* 
We have so much work to do.

Sidorak: I'm just glad that it's you and not me.

Roodaka *who just appeared from nowhere*: If you have no work, then do all of this, Siddy! *heaps giant pile of math books on him*

Sidorak: :dunce:


Vakama: Hey! You like to call him 'Siddy' too!

Sidorak: :flagcanada:


Roodaka: Yes. It's fun to see him use emoticons.

Vakama: I agree.

Roodaka: Tonight, many things will change.

Vakama: Where'd that line come from?

Roodaka: The script.

Vakama: Oh.

*In Keetongu's lair cave*

Matau: Hey, look everyone! It's Keetongu!

Everyone: IT IS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Onewa: Woohoo! Let's party!

Matau: Not.

Everyone: MATAU!

Matau: What?

Norik: Oh, don't be so quick to play practical jokes, Matau. *To pond* Sry 2 wake u up, dude, but these Toa need ur hlp!

Matau: Okay, well, we'd like to stay and hear you speak Internet-speak, but we've gotta go! I have a schedule to keep with 'Ask Matau!'

*Keetongu comes out, complete with dramatic effects, rushing water, cool sound effects, and a Giant Inflatable Monkey. (Well, minus the Giant Inflatable Monkey.)*

GIM: Drat.

Keetongu: Lol sup dudez!

Norik: Keetongu!

Matau: Hey, let's press the fast-forward button again!

Everyone: NO!

Matau: Toolate.

Onewa: Gimmethat! *pressesstopbutton*

Matau: Dang it!

*They all just teleported to a powwow circle*

Nokama: All of which is why we came here, and why we asked for your help!

Matau: So, will you help us?

Keetongu: No.

Matau: Aww crud.

Keetongu: i say that u need 2 understand ur duty b4 u can get my hlp!

Matau: So, you'll save us from being ugly?

Keetongu: No.

Matau: AWHITLAIWHTLAIJWE!

Everyone: Matau...


Keetongu: i see w/1 eye what u missed w/urs. If u want to be less ugly again, u need 2 use ur new forms.

Matau: Oh.

Keetongu: So i'll hlp u out.

Everyone: UNITY!

Keetongu: Ur all way 2 cliche.

Next: The big, cliche-like battle! More 'Siddy's! And stuff!...Yeah.

 

~Lewa# Studios

Edited by Lewa0111 Nuva

My Script Comedies: | The Nuva Inn Remake | Ask Matau! Remake (ACCEPTING QUESTIONS!) |

My Prose Comedies: | The BZ-Nui Hack Wars | Mata Nova |

 

ANNOUNCEMENT: The Nuva Inn is BACK IN BUSINESS!! (See my blog for more info on my writing projects)

ANNOUNCEMENT 2: Looking for voice actors and artists/animators for an upcoming video project! PM me if interested!

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Chapter 6: Battle of Metru Nui/Roodaka vs. Keetongu (plus some other insignificant king-like guy)

 

 

Vakama: Hmm... Hey, cool! When I do this, my flame comes up! Siddy, watch!

 

Sidorak: :psychotwitch:

 

Roodaka: Vakama, Siddy, pay attention!

 

Siddy: :wakeup:

 

Vakama: Why?

 

Roodaka: Because in exactly 17.5 seconds, five Toa Hordika are going to come bursting through that door and demand a battle.

 

Vakama: Wait, how do you know that?

 

Roodaka: The script.

 

Vakama: Oh.

 

*Exactly 17.5 seconds later, the door to the Coliseum bursts open and twenty Visorak go flying through it. One of them hits Siddy*

 

Sidorak: :voyanui:

 

*in the head, knocking him out for a while. The five Toa come marching in, holding their Toa tools like Clint Eastwood and wearing cowboy hats. Keetongu has magically disappeared for this scene.*

 

Nokama: Vakama! Your name sounds the same as mine!

 

Vakama: Nokama! She's right!

 

Roodaka: Remember, names aren't everything.

 

Vakama: You've made a grave mistake coming here!

 

Whenua: I wouldn't say that it's that bad.

 

Vakama: No, I mean literally! *He throws a giant gravestone down, and it misses the Toa completely.*

 

Matau: Ha! You missed! :tongue:

 

Vakama: How dare you use that emoticon? I'll kill you all!

 

Matau: You and what army?

 

All Toa: MATAU...

 

Vakama: This one. *The Visorak army comes out and aims their Rhotuka launchers at the Toa*

 

Matau: Aww crud.

 

Nokama: Wait. I have a plan...

 

All Toa: Yes?

 

Nokama: ...Never mind.

 

All Toa: :(

 

Nokama: Oh, wait! I've got it!

 

Vakama: Ready...aim...

 

Roodaka: Yes?

 

Vakama: ...Umm...what comes next?

 

Roodaka: :annoyed: "Fire," you moron!

 

Vakama: Fire, you moron!

 

All Visorak: Hey! He called us morons!

 

Roodaka: JUST DO IT!

 

Visorak #472: Okay, fine. Sheesh.

 

Nokama: Now! *They all sprout wings and start flying away*

 

Matau: How do you drive these things? AAAAAH! *splat*

 

Onewa: HAHAHAHAHA! Wait...AAAAAH! *doublesplat*

 

Nokama: Whatever. *They all land on a random ledge*

 

Matau: AAAAAAH! I don't know how to steer!

 

Nokama: Where's he going?

 

Whenua: Wherever he's going.

 

Onewa: Thanks, Captain Obvious.

 

Nuju: Wow, we haven't heard that joke in a while.

 

Nokama: In case you haven't noticed, THERE'S A BATTLE GOING ON HERE!

 

Onewa, Whenua, & Nuju: O RLY?

 

O RLY?: Hey! That's my name, don't wear it out!

 

Onewa, Whenua, and Nuju: O RLY?

 

O RLY?: SHUT UP!

 

*Back on the Coliseum/Colosseum...*

 

Sidorak: Still, that sound.

 

Nuju *from the battle*: USE PROPER GRAMMAR, SIDDY!

 

Sidorak: :huh:

 

All Toa *from the battle*: NERD!

 

Vakama: How can we hear that from all the way up here?

 

Roodaka: No idea.

 

*Keetongu finishes being gone from this scene and starts climbing up the wall of the Coliseum/Colosseum, using Spiderman-style webs*

 

Sidorak: What is that?

 

Vakama: I guess it's Keetongu, using Spiderman-style webs.

 

Sidorak: But Spiderman doesn't exist in BIONICLE!

 

Vakama: Obviously, you're wrong about that. I'll take care of him; I have a Green Goblin costume!

 

Roodaka: It is not your place. It is that of a king.

 

Sidorak: Too bad there's no kings here.

 

Roodaka & Vakama: :annoyed:

 

Sidorak: What?

 

Roodaka & Vakama: YOU'RE A KING!

 

Sidorak: I am? Cool! Yay for me!

 

Roodaka: Just come with me. *They both step into the elevator, and elevator music starts playing*

 

Sidorak: I hate elevator music! Tell the music guy to change the song!

 

Music Guy: Okay, fine. *'Caught in a Dream' starts playing*

 

Sidorak: That's better.

 

Next: Roodaka vs. Keetongu! Kung fu moves! More bunjee jumping! Me finding out how to spell 'bunjee' correctly! And more!

 

~Lewa# Studios

 

:mirunu: Lewa0111 Nuva :mirunu:


My Script Comedies: | The Nuva Inn Remake | Ask Matau! Remake (ACCEPTING QUESTIONS!) |

My Prose Comedies: | The BZ-Nui Hack Wars | Mata Nova |

 

ANNOUNCEMENT: The Nuva Inn is BACK IN BUSINESS!! (See my blog for more info on my writing projects)

ANNOUNCEMENT 2: Looking for voice actors and artists/animators for an upcoming video project! PM me if interested!

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I think it's bungie. To remember, just think Halo.

Hilarious chapter as always. Grave joke was great, but there ain't no graves that can hold a Toa down (Except me. I've got a killer Kanohi-rip-offer headlock).

I'm surprised Sidorak forgot he was a king. When guys boss-walk everywhere they usually have some idea why they're doing that (unless it's a Steltian thing. Those guys are like corrupt corporate heads). Anyway, I eagerly await the next chapter!

It's good to see Ask Matau back in business.

 

:pakarinu: hit the :mirunu:!!!

Edited by Erasmus Graves

"Mutiny, Booty and Entropy"  - The Three Vices of the Frostelus

[flash=250,100]http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/sprxtrerme/BANNERS/thornax.swf

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