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I AM BACK.... And I plan on staying for a longer time, too. And this time, I won't let harassment from other members keep me from being on here. Seeing as BZPower has gotten a major revamp since your Uncle Shadows was last here, looks like a lot of the stuff I wrote is gone... at least, so I thought. I know there's still the archive of the old forums. Which might be a pain for me to look through in its entirety, but oh well, such is life.I'm going to bring back a comedy I started on long ago, which actually wasn't meant to be more than a chapter, yet it has 2 in the original version, and I may just make more to it if people like it enough. Here is a comedy based on one of my original characters, the spirit of Death herself Elitha.Chapter 1: The Fellowship of the Fools*far away in some other realm, there lived a once beautiful young woman named Elitha who was forced to craft a mask that would eventually become her prison. Enslaved by the mask of death, Elitha has been driven mad and riddled with anger and confusion. She has yet to master the power of the mask, but she can't be underestimated. Very few have lived to defeat her, but Elitha wishes to change that. This is the story of a woman on a mission, and a list made by the same woman. Elitha's List.**Somewhere on Destral... an abandoned, desolate island fortress...*Elitha: I assume that none of you know why I’ve assembled you here, am I right?Meltdown: And why pray tell should we have to listen to you?Elitha: Because I killed your master and now I’m forced to take his place because that creep Lord of shadows likes to torture me...Thunder, laughs: You let puny man control your life? Ha ha ha! I laugh at you!Elitha: He controls your life too.Thunder: Argh! No!!!Xplode: And how’d a dame like you manage to kill off the hunch back of who cares?Elitha: It’s a long story...Thunder: Stories are for baby cowards!Rotor: So then, “boss,” what do you want us to do?Elitha: It’s simple: We kill the Brotherhood of Makuta and those Toa.Thunder: Brotherhood is babies! Too many little men on this team!Rotor: Who you calling little, tiny?Xplode: If you were from where I was from, you’d be dead!Thunder: You are so small!Corroder, laughing: Kaboom to you, sir don’t feel bad! You did a fine job tossing your little balls around.Thunder: Spy! I see Spy!*Corroder laughing.*Elitha: How did this happen anyway?*flashback...*Von Nebula: You’re kinda cute.Elitha: Why are you talking to me?Von Nebula: You wanna go somewhere with me?Elitha: No. I haven’t even lured you into my gambit and you’re already coming onto me?Von Nebula: I’d go anywhere for you.Elitha: Why don’t you go die?Von Nebula: unsure.gif I can’t do that.Elitha: I’m going to have fun killing you...Von Nebula: What? How?Elitha: The Kanohi Mask of Death, that’s how...Von Nebula: Can’t we just work this out first?Elitha: You know, you’re right... wanna dance, big boy?Von Nebula: Really? Wow! But I haven’t taken any dance classes since--*the sound of a record scratching sounds and Elitha’s “song” starts.*Elitha: Shut up and dance.Von Nebula: Uh... what’s with the scary music?Elitha, singing: Because tonight I'm working over time… Are you ready to cross the line? Because I'll treat you until the break of dawn… you're not alone…Von Nebula: Wait, what is this?Elitha: Who you going to call?*As the music of Night Nurse continues, Elitha kicks Von Nebula’s staff away as she gets closer to him and takes her scissor scythe in hand.*Elitha: Don't wanna be your lover, oh no. But I could your remedy, oh-oh. I don't wanna be your lover, oh no, but I can be your remedy, your cure…*Von Nebula feels himself go numb and his body become stiff. Elitha uses her powers to raise him in the air and slam him against a wall.**So since this part may be somewhat scarier for our younger viewers, it has been conveniently cut out. However, it included how Eltiha took care of Von Nebula. Moving back from there...*Elitha: There’s a reason they call me the black widow, I suppose.Lord of shadows: There’s also a reason why Lewa has those nightmares of you, the “Night-Nurse mask...”Elitha: You’re not welcome here! !!!LOS: You gotta catch me first! *He disappears and leaves Elitha with her new minions.*Elitha: I’ll get you someday, Lord of shadows, and that little singer of yours, too. Great, when did this become the Wizard of Oz?Thunder: Ha ha ha! It is funny to me!Meltdown: I say, why are you all acting more ridiculous than usual? Is it because we are in the presence of a female?Xplode: What’s it to you?Rotor: We don’t have to give this dame any special treatment?*Elitha uses her powers to turn Rotor into a chipmunk.*Elitha: There, now that’s much better, don’t you think?All: blink.gifElitha: Anyone else care to question my powers?*They all shake their heads nervously.*Elitha: Good boys. *She changes Rotor back to his ugly self.*Rotor: Hey, the narrator called me ugly!Elitha: Shut up and get over it.Xplode: Hold on, we still don’t know anything about you.Elitha: You wanna know a little something about me? Fine. They don’t call me the black widow for nothing... I lure foolish men into my trap, play on their emotions, and take their life force. It’s nothing personal, it’s just business, you know. I need some sort of energy to keep myself young and healthy. The brotherhood is just one of many targets on my list...*She slams a list on the table of many beings she wishes to take out. Von Nebula’s name is crossed out... at the top are the names of Lord of shadows and Natalie Horler. Below them are the names of The Shadowed One, Remote, and Lewa and other characters she crossed paths with.*Thunder: It is good day to be giant man!Xplode: Why’s there some chick’s name on here?Elitha: Due to her association with Lord of shadows... she must perish, too. I’m going to have you all help me.Rotor: Fine, I’m in then. Is the chick we going after hot?Elitha: Lord of shadows does have some... infatuation with her, so I guess so.Xplode: All right!Thunder: Now is coward-killing time! Move! *humming funeral march.*Meltdown: No need to be so pushy.Corroder: This ought to be fun. Where’s Vapour?Elitha: No one cares about him. Besides, he’s just a rip-off of you and Rotor. So I take it you’re all in then?Rotor: You bet we are.Elitha: Good... I can see it now. I’m going to need a whole lot of aspirin for this job, I can tell.

Edited by ShadowBionics
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It's good to have you back, ShadowBionics! I think myself, you, and MT are the only members of the "old group" of comedy writers I've seen since the forums returned yet, or at least the only ones I've seen posting any comedies. I enjoy your style of writing and I laughed at this, a lot! I enjoyed the TF2 references (at least, I think they were TF2 references), although I'm interested also to see where you continue with this story. Sounds suspenseful...but also hilarious, oddly. Keep it up, and welcome back! :mirunu: Lewa0111 Nuva :mirunu:

My Script Comedies: | The Nuva Inn Remake | Ask Matau! Remake (ACCEPTING QUESTIONS!) |

My Prose Comedies: | The BZ-Nui Hack Wars | Mata Nova |

 

ANNOUNCEMENT: The Nuva Inn is BACK IN BUSINESS!! (See my blog for more info on my writing projects)

ANNOUNCEMENT 2: Looking for voice actors and artists/animators for an upcoming video project! PM me if interested!

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@Lewa0111 Nuva: Likewise to you, it's good seeing you out and about resuming your old comedies again. And yeah, that's very true. I think I've seen Bionicle Guru on the forums, but I almost don't think he might be putting anything up. But oh well, it's his choice to do as he pleases. Bornicle shall live on in our hearts and minds.And yes, you're right, those are TF2 references. Thunder is the Heavy, Corroder is the spy mixed with (my) Ehlek, and Xplode is loosely based on scout. And then Rotor is just himself and Meltdown is a guy with a bad accent. And you know, I'm as interested as you are to see where the story goes. I had no idea what direction it was going when I started it, but with that whole downtime, I thought about it and I think I know now. Thank you again, and hope you enjoy the rest of the comedy. :)@spyder ryder: Thank you, it is a pleasure to be back after gone for so long. Well, there were other reasons why I almost considered leaving, but you can thank a few 3 very kinda, helpful girls from the United Kingdom for making me see the light and not let anything stand in the way of what I love doing. Glad you enjoyed this chapter. I hadn't thought about Roodaka... been a long time since I used her in anything aside from Judge Tuma :P I'm not so sure. Roodaka does that so she can siphon money and power. Elitha does it to siphon life force and to live longer. Roodaka probably would get angry if she found out (IF she found out). I applaud you if you get that reference. She might not. I don't know right now.Chapter 2: Cloudy with a chance of MoosenElitha: So I hope we’re all agreed then.Xplode: Yes, we are, just as long as I get to blow something up.Meltdown: Would you calm down, you swartzneggian oaf?*Elitha holds up her hand, glowing with raw power*Elitha: Why don’t you both shut up before I send you to meet your former boss?Corroder, laughing: You mean we get to see him again?Elitha: Yes, in the underworld.Corroder: ziplip.gifElitha: I’ve enlisted the help of one more person to help us. He should be arriving.Rotor: It better not be that creep Vapour, that poser!Elitha: It’s not him! I haven't even met him. Why would I bring him here? He isn't even a good villain. What has he done?Rotor: That Italian freak Vapour! He’s running around with my face and I want it back!Elitha: But you have your face… and what are you talking about?Thunder: He is little baby, crying in the night for mommy! Ha ha ha!*Then from the shadows comes a familiar face… a familiar, sun-burned, yelling face.*Elitha: You’re late.Antroz: I stopped for a smoothie. You can’t blame me for these things.Rotor: Who’s the yelling guy?Antroz: I am the great Makuta Antroz.Elitha: We share a common enemy who we want to take down.Xplode: Lord of shadows?Antroz: No.Meltdown: The girl you call Natalie?Elitha: No.Rotor: That Lewa guy?Antroz: Yes. It is because of him I got locked in the sacred realm, got stabbed in the head, got stabbed in the chest, and got stabbed in the chest a second time.Corroder: Then how’d you get out of the sacred realm?Antroz: They forgot to lock the gate again.Thunder: Ha ha ha! Foolish skinny man! It is puny feat compared to my wrong doings! Ha ha ha!Elitha: Watch it… I’d be careful if I were you… *She then takes out Von Nebula’s black hole staff, aiming it at Thunder. All of the villains stumble backward in horror.*Antroz: Where’d you get that thing?Elitha: Lewa broke my scissor scythe on the moon. When I met this hunch back from somewhere no one cares about, I decided to kill him and take his staff for my own. I think I’m getting a hang of how it works.Antroz: Well, works for me. Just as long as you don’t kill me or use that tridax pod on a stick on me.Elitha: Relax. You’re one of the last people I’d use this on.Antroz: Who’s the first?Elitha: Besides these rambunctious freaks behind me? Our targets, that’s who I plan to use this on.Antroz: Okay, but then what?Elitha: I don’t know, I haven’t thought that far yet. I’m thinking I’d let them out and then we torture them endlessly.Antroz: As long as I get to blow something up.Xplode: I like this guy already.*In the irony of Antroz’s words, something behind them explodes. A dark, lank figure with two antlers jutting from his head makes his way through the smoke. Who is he? He is the moose lord. He loomed over 10 feet tall and spoke in a voice so gruff, one could mistake him for Christian Bale.*Fire Lord: Good day, all..Antroz: What did he say?Fire Lord: Good day.Antroz: Sorry, I don't speak moosen. Is that what moosen sounds like? I'm asking since you're a moose.Fire Lord: I'm not speaking any language! Just listen to me! Who's in charge here?!Antroz: Nope, can't understand you.Fire Lord: Who?!Antroz: I'd like to answer your questions, it's just I don't know what they are. Let me ask you something now. Who invited you?*from the ground, shoots up a drill. Who does it belong to? Why am I asking you all this?*Drilldozer: We invite ourselves.Jetbug: We don’t care about manners.Nitroblast, laughing like a donkey: We like to party.Fire Lord: Shut your mouth. Look here, sir...Elitha: I’m a woman.Jetbug: Ouch.Drilldozer: She got you there, boss.Fire Lord: You can understand me?Elitha: Only a little. Do you have a cold or something?Fire Lord: That's not important. Okay then… move out of the way while I find who’s in charge here.Elitha: Are you saying I’m not capable of leading an operation?Fire Lord: Yeah.Rotor: Looks like someone made a mistake.Thunder: Looks like it is bed time for moose man! Ha ha ha!Elitha: Why you… no-good… glorified self-obsessed… *Elitha fires a death shot through Von Nebula’s staff, almost hitting him, but causing Fire Lord to fall back.*Nitroblast, running: Yes, master, I am coming master! But please, don’t level with my hump…Meltdown: I say, these hooligans are absolute freaks!Corroder: You said a mouth full.Fire Lord: All of you! Bale up on her!Elitha: What does that mean? Could you speak clearly?*On his orders, the Moose Lord’s minions corner her.*Elitha: What language are you talking?!Fire Lord: That's not important. I'm just a regular guy is all.Corroder: Then why do you talk like a freak?Fire Lord: Quiet you freak shows!Corroder: What’d he call us?Fire Lord: Are you all deaf? I said shut it before you really make me mad!Thunder: Pitiful how you butcher language by speaking!Meltdown: Yeah. The more he gets angry, the more I can't understand him!X-plode: Yeah, what are you saying?!Nitroblast: Do not make fun of our master. He is our master.Rotor: How do you even understand him?Fire Lord: Okay then, little one, I’ll give hear you out. You saying you’re in charge here?Elitha: That’s right, you oversized elk!Fire Lord: Then you have my sincerest apologies.Elitha: Look, go flirt with some other girl because I’m a woman on a mission here.Fire Lord: That is why I’ve come this way to see you.Elitha: Wait, what?To be continued...Next time on Elitha's list...Lord of shadows, singing/running around a tree: Running around the tree, running around the tree. Having such a wonderful time! Running around the tree.(okay, not really)

Edited by ShadowBionics
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Awesome job once again! That first line by Elitha I heard in Nokama's voice from LoMN, but I'm not sure if that was an intentional reference or not. :blink:And that next time preview was incredibly random and hilarious! Now I can't wait for the next chapter! Keep it up!:mirunu: Lewa0111 Nuva :mirunu:

My Script Comedies: | The Nuva Inn Remake | Ask Matau! Remake (ACCEPTING QUESTIONS!) |

My Prose Comedies: | The BZ-Nui Hack Wars | Mata Nova |

 

ANNOUNCEMENT: The Nuva Inn is BACK IN BUSINESS!! (See my blog for more info on my writing projects)

ANNOUNCEMENT 2: Looking for voice actors and artists/animators for an upcoming video project! PM me if interested!

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  • 1 month later...

@spyderryder: I've actually modified the chapter, so actually if you read it, I've changed Fire Lord from what he was (looking at how he was, I wasn't sure I could keep him up like that), and plus there is now a conversation between him and Antroz where he uses the word moosen. I felt like changing him a little and plus this would be a good way for him to use the word "moosen," since I'd been tempted as well. @Lewa0111Nuva You mean...?

Nokama: So then it is agreed?Matau: Mmm-hmm.Nokama: Each one of us will find the great disk in our own Metru and present it to Turaga Dume. He will know what to do.

That didn't occur to me when I originally wrote chapter 2 (then again, I wasn't fully thinking at all, which is why I went back and changed some of it). You could look at it that way. Plus as a little easter egg for the older fansnote: In no way am I trying to make fun of anyone in anyway. My sincerest apologies, for this was not my intention.Chapter 3: Guess what's coming to dinner?Elitha: Exactly what kind of deal are you talking about you antler-headed weirdo?Fire Lord: I can't stand that gaudy writing style of his! He makes me look like a blooming mess!Corroder: No, you're thinking of someone else.Fire Lord: Mind your own business would you?Corroder: What'd he say?Fire Lord: See? No one understands me! :crying:Elitha: So then what you're saying is you also want him gone? Just because you sound like you have a cold all the time and hardly anyone can understand you?Fire Lord: Not to sound hazy and all, but yes, that's what I want. He makes me feel so bothered inside!Antroz: What are you saying?!Fire Lord: You think my tongue is bad, wait till you hear the Witch Doctor.*somewhere far away.*Witch Doctor: Yeah, mon! Break it off, now! Gonna make it chill their minds! They all say I'm crazy, but I tell them who's crazy! Because it isn't me! Gonna take it to them now! Most def-inite-LEE!*Back with Elitha.*Elitha: Okay, I get it. But if you're so fed up with your mode of expression...*Elitha backs off from the Fire Lord, taking Von Nebula's staff in hand. She begins making various movements with it, and then she fires a small beam at the Fire Lord.*Fire Lord: What was that all about?Elitha: Try talking now.Fire Lord: What do you mean you gorgeous yet crazy woman? :wired: Did I just say that? My voice...Elitha: Yes, you did, you mindless oaf.Fire Lord: Yes! Now when I walk down the street, everyone will understand what I'm saying! I sound normal now!Drilldozer: Since when do you walk?Fire Lord: Be quiet, you!Elitha: So are you going to leave now or do I have to force you to meet Von Nebula?Fire Lord: Why would I leave?Elitha: Oh, I don't know, because I fixed your voice for you?Fire Lord: I'm not going anywhere...*That is when the Fire Lord starts making doe-eyed expressions around Elitha, not really a recommended thing to do...*Elitha: Okay, what is wrong with you? *she looks over at the staff.* Did I do more than fix his voice?Fire Lord: Nah, of course you didn't.Elitha: Darn it. Okay, fine, if you want to help... Go get me... Cherry pie!Fire Lord: It'll be done! Let's go get some pie!*So the Looney Lord and his minions go to seize the island of Korridai, erm, I mean, seize some cherry pie for Elitha. Unfortunately for them (but fortunately for Elitha), they don't know where to obtain cherry pie.*Meltdown: Thank you so much for getting rid of him. I must say, his behavior is somewhat dodgy, even for a character made by Lord of shadows...Elitha: Yeah, and good thing I fixed him up.Meltdown: Consider it a little bonus.X-plode: Why'd you say that?Meltdown: I had an impulse. I can't resist the urge to say the word "bonus."Rotor: WHY?Meltdown: ... CURSE YOU LORD OF SHADOWS!!!Antroz: You can't blame him for everything, you know.Elitha: Technically, we can.Antroz: I wonder what he's doing right now.Thunder: You think too much, small man!Antroz: And you don't think at all, you lunk-head.Elitha: Do I need to make you two shut up? Although I can't help but wonder myself what is he doing... Knowing him, he must be scheming and planning something so vile and dangerous that it will severely mess with our lives in ways we cannot imagine.*somewhere far away...*Lord of shadows, singing/running around a tree: Running around the tree, running around the tree. Having such a wonderful time! Running around the tree...To be continued...Next time on Elitha's List:Von Nebula: Oh-oh-oh-ooh-whoa-oh-oh. I am Von Nebula. Oh-oh-whoa-ooh-oh-oh-oh oh, I have a lollypop. Hah hah ha-ha-ha hah. Ho ha, ha ho ha ha. Ha ha hah ho ha ha. I am Von Nebula. Edited by ShadowBionics
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  • 2 weeks later...

Chapter 4: I like Mutton*Someplace off in the distance…*Elitha: All right, so now who to go after…? This is all just so exciting! I don’t know if I’m the only one here.Rotor: Yeah. Cuz you’re crazy.Elitha: Want to be a chipmunk again?Rotor: No…Elitha: Good... How about we go for this Natalie character?Antroz: No can do.Elitha: Why... NOT?!Antroz: Shadows doesn't write about her anymore.[awkward pause]Elitha: Okay, that's one down and a few more to go. Well, I guess the closest one to go after now is The Shadowed One.Antroz, on Destral Cycle: Well, what are we waiting for then? Let's go get us some smoothies!Xplode: I thought we we were going to take out some loser.Antroz: Okay, fine, we can do that, too.Elitha: I hate you. But not as much as I hate Lord of shadows.Antroz: At least you didn't end up like Icarax. I wonder what happened to him....Announcer: Previously on the last episode of Icarax's Bogus Journey that you will never see because ShadowBionics deemed the comedy as horrible and poorly written...Amanda: Oh, Markus, I'm so sorry I made you fall in love with me! It's just I was so sad after James fell in love with my wicked half-sister and I just needed someone to help me.Icarax: Look, my name's not Markus, I don't love you, and I just want to know if you've seen a fat guy wearing a rusty mask.Amanda: Oh, Markus!Icarax: Ugh...*Later on some place else because The Shadowed One abandoned Odina after a series of events that are to great in depth to go into detail in just one little paragraph.*The Shadowed One: I almost wonder what to do today. I feel so great now that I don't have a crew of rambunctious Dark Hunters messing with my life. No "the sir," no "I'm going to DESTROY you," no death threats from Lariska, it's all good.Zhirika: And don't forget that there's no Roodaka around either.TSO: Oh, yes, how could I forget? It all worked out fine. And of course there's no need for me to go into my cool-guy voice-over to recollect my thoughts on how we got to this moment in our lives.TSO, voice-over: Although I will take a moment to do a voice-over to reflect on how great my life has become now that I'm far away from Makuta and his brotherhood of morons to mess with my life as well. Yes, I don't think there's anything that can ruin this for me. Nope, nothing at all. *explosion*TSOI: Oh, what is it now? It better not be Makuta flying in so he can beat me up and put hot sauce in my mouth again.Antroz: You're close. It's just me!Elitha: You're conceded.TSO: Well, now, if it isn't Makuta Antroz.... My, oh my, it has been quite a while since we last met, hasn't it?Antroz: About a year or so.TSO: A week, a month, a millennium, does it really make a difference? And who else do we have here...?*The Shadowed One slowly walks over to Elitha, who is smaller in statue, yet very dangerous-looking.*TSO So she truly does exist...Zhirka: What? Who?TSO: Legends spoke about a dark version of the Ignika existing, created by some insane yet beautiful young maiden mask maker who became it's slave. I believe this girl is her.Zhirika: Her? So you think every scary-looking girl you see wearing some black rusty mask is some powerful dark warrior of life and death?TSO: Not every girl I've seen.Elitha: I'm flattered you've heard of me, but you know, I have some business to attend to and you're sort of holding up business. All of you, attack!*At her word, all of Von Nebula's minions go and attack the pair. Zhirka goes down easily at the hands of Rotor, Thunder, and Xplode. The Shadowed One however puts up more of a resistance as he freezes Meltdown and Corroder in solid protodermis.*TSO: You know, you almost remind me of an old foe I once knew.... He always sent others to do fighting for him. I find myself disappointed. I thought you'd be different.*Elitha takes out Von Nebula's staff and her flame shield.*Elitha: Oh, don't worry, I don't like to disappoint.*Both veterans of battle take their weapons in hand and rush at each other, weapons ready to clash.*

Edited by ShadowBionics
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