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Hapori Tohu

Blast From the Past: 2003 Bionicle Commercial

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Recently, an Intel Pentium Processor commercial from 2003 has surfaced among some members on facebook. Rife with cliches dealing with a target-audience-aged kid explaining Bionicle to his dad, it soon turns into an ad for not only the Mask of Life video game but how to get a computer capable of playing it. To try to describe it more would be near impossible with the bizarreness of its content, so click through to check it out for yourself.

 

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I remember seeing this commercial as a 10 year-old. My friends and I laughed at how weird it was.

 

Searched for this video a few years back and came up empty. Glad this odd bit of BIONICLE history resurfaced at last.

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This teaches us what Bionicle are all about: Maktuti the Bionic Man, father of Fauxhawk McDeepvoice, being defeated by HYPERTHREADING TECHNOLOGY™

Thanks for sharing this amazing relic of the past!

That's actually some really great timing, considering this Friday it was revealed that Intel is finally paying out on a class action lawsuit involving the Petium 4 Procession this commercial is advertising :P

Edited by Pomegranate
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pomegranate-banner-sm.png .

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Whoever posted this on Facebook didn't cite the original source: me! (well actually some person on Youtube, but I was the person that first shared the video with the community, for whatever that is worth)

Edited by Pereki
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believe victims. its actually not that hard, and youd look kind of bad if you were to, say, side with an abuser because theyre your friend

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Gosh, I wish MY parents were that interested in the Bionic Men and the evil Makooti like this dad was -_-

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-I was infected for the most part on April the 1st 7.gifBEWARE

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Wooow. That was so bad I don't even know what to say. Was the video game even that good?

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"You are an absolute in these uncertain times. Your past is forgotten, and your
future is an empty book. You must find your own destiny, my brave adventurer.
"
-- Turaga Nokama

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Click here to visit my library!

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the Mask of Life video game

 

Do you mean Bionicle Heroes?  Considering that didn't come out until 2006, why would they talk about it back in '03?  Even if they had it planned back then, they'd be giving away spoilers.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Just kidding, I know you meant Mask of Light.

  • Upvote 1

On 9/29/2014, Greg Farshtey said:

 

"Just wanted to say a quick something --

 

A lot of you guys are BIONICLE fans, many from way back. It's no secret that you are some of the smartest, most loyal, and most dedicated fans out there. You, and you alone, have carried the torch for the line over the last four years. Hopefully, you will feel rewarded for your efforts by 2015 BIONICLE.

 

Regardless, I wanted to take this opportunity to say that I am really proud to be associated with you, and you should be really proud of yourselves"

 

Ordinarily, I don't do quotes, but this is special.

Fire Ice Water Stone Earth Air... I mean Jungle.
 
Bionicle: The Legacy Hero An attempt to put some magic back into Bionicle.

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So.... cringe... worthy! How did I not know this existed!

 

 

Is that the mask of ultimate power?

 

The Mask of Ultimate Power grants control over the legendary Hyperthreading Technology!

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Will be writing stories shortly-Watch this space.


Here's my blog, where you can listen to me read bad fanfics.

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Wooow. That was so bad I don't even know what to say. Was the video game even that good?

I had the game when I was younger. It was a glitch-riddled mess that barely ran without crashing every 7 minutes. Even when it did work, it was still a really bad game.

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If I had to react to that dad I'd just take the mask of as soon as he did the woosh-woosh sounds and just said "no, n-j-j-just no." And walked away with the talk to the hand posture XD. Yet another reason why I'm glad I started bionicle in 2004

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I have no idea what I just watched.

 

But I'm going to continue watching it for the rest of my life :P

Edited by Ayliffe
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"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move." - Douglas Adams


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A lot of Mask of Life was more childish than that. 

 

But the kid was still pretty hilarious.

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Mantax can win connect four in three moves.

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Wooow. That was so bad I don't even know what to say. Was the video game even that good?

I had the game when I was younger. It was a glitch-riddled mess that barely ran without crashing every 7 minutes. Even when it did work, it was still a really bad game.

 

 

There's also the fact that almost half the promised levels were dropped so it could be rushed to release.

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Wooow. That was so bad I don't even know what to say. Was the video game even that good?

I had the game when I was younger. It was a glitch-riddled mess that barely ran without crashing every 7 minutes. Even when it did work, it was still a really bad game.

 

Sounds to me like you needed a PC with multi-threading technology. For your BIONICLE gaming experience, there's no substitute! B)

 

What makes this especially hilarious to me is that it really does show what BIONICLE might have seemed like from a parent's point-of-view. After Takanuva came out, my dad was cracking jokes about Taco Nuevo for YEARS. The same foreign-sounding names and alien-looking designs that made the theme so engaging for many of us also made it difficult for others to understand or take seriously.

 

What I can't figure out is why the kid is dressed like an auto mechanic.

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Somewhere out there, Makuta is facepalming right now. :P

 

This is a...strange...commercial, to say the least. I'm just glad my parents didn't do anything like this when I was younger. I would've been scarred for life. :P

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Everyone is one choice away from being the bad guy in another person's story.


 


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Wooow. That was so bad I don't even know what to say. Was the video game even that good?

I had the game when I was younger. It was a glitch-riddled mess that barely ran without crashing every 7 minutes. Even when it did work, it was still a really bad game.

 

Sounds to me like you needed a PC with multi-threading technology. For your BIONICLE gaming experience, there's no substitute! B)

 

What makes this especially hilarious to me is that it really does show what BIONICLE might have seemed like from a parent's point-of-view. After Takanuva came out, my dad was cracking jokes about Taco Nuevo for YEARS. The same foreign-sounding names and alien-looking designs that made the theme so engaging for many of us also made it difficult for others to understand or take seriously.

 

What I can't figure out is why the kid is dressed like an auto mechanic.

 

My grandma always called him Ticonderoga. I was to surprised when I eventually learned Ticonderoga is a brand of pencils.
  • Upvote 6

"You are an absolute in these uncertain times. Your past is forgotten, and your
future is an empty book. You must find your own destiny, my brave adventurer.
"
-- Turaga Nokama

nichijou2.jpg

Click here to visit my library!

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Why didn't they use this for the 2015 plot?

Well, they've got to save something for next year's Galidor reboot... :P.

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"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move." - Douglas Adams


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A long time ago, on the mythical island of Strokoto, all lived in disharmony because they couldn't remember each other's names. It was a place of strange names and breakable bodies. From the island's Maori influences, a father and son, known as the 2003 commercial weirdos, created something that scarred all Bionifans for life. Each weirdo had a special feature: Makooti owned the Mask of Failure and Fauxhawk Kid the Fauxhawk of Hyperthreading. The duo provided the islanders with many cringes but Fauxhawk's were the most annoying. His father, Makooti, became envious and forged an evil plan... the anti-Hyperthreader! This creation worked its dark magicks on Fauxhawk Kid's latest project, Bionicle: The Game, mutating it into a mangled mess. Now a new generation of Bionifans must set things right!

Edited by Triclops-Echo
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That commercial is just weird.

 

Although hyperthreading is starting a new thread in a processor before the first thread is complete, technically, which makes it go faster.  

 

That's actually some really great timing, considering this Friday it was revealed that Intel is finally paying out on a class action lawsuit involving the Petium 4 Procession this commercial is advertising :P

Wat. IMO that's kind of worthless. Who's going to show up with their ancient computational clunkerbox to collect a measly $15?

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Mata Nui protect us... it's like they wanted us to know the game would be bad.

IT'S ALL MAKOOTI'S FAULT! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Edited by Triclops-Echo
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I've been searching for this my whole life. 

Have you been searching for this your whole life? Or has the power of Hyper Threading been searching for you?

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