Why Toa Shouldn't Trick-Or-Treat (Halloween 2014 Special)

[Lewa0111 Nuva]

Hello everyone! I know I promised to restart the Lewa# Studios Holiday Series on Halloween, but...well, it was Halloween. And thus I was busy doing Halloween-ish things. And thus not writing comedies.

 

So here it is anyway, the (belated) return of the Lewa# Studios Holiday Series! Enjoy!

 

(Also, try to guess which Toa is dressed in which costume, since I deliberately will not reveal who's who. Though one or two might be obvious... )

 

Why Toa Shouldn’t Trick-Or-Treat

A BIONICLE comedy by Me!

Part 1 of the Lewa# Studios Holiday Series 2014-2015

 

 

 

The place: Metru Nui, or more specifically, the deserted Coliseum, or more specifically, a few square meters of dirt near the center of the coliseum, or more specifically, 3.14 square meters of dirt centered on a spot approximately 2.3727391945 centimeters to the left of the center of the Coliseum. As if anyone actually cared.

 

“3.14? Cool! That’s the same number as Pi! Pi goes like this: 3.141592653589793223…” observed an excited Tava, before going on to rattle off the digits of Pi to an absurd amount.

 

...Well, him caring about it goes without saying. But I digress. Anyway, the seven Toa Nuva (along with Tava, the Toa of Pie) were discussing the upcoming holiday Dume had declared across all of Metru Nui.

 

“So apparently, Dume has declared it to be Halloween. Anyone know what that means?” asked Lewa.

 

“It means, according to this set of tablets,” said Tahu, pulling out a large group of tablets that he proceeded to dump on Pohatu’s head to use as a table, “everyone is required to dress up in a costume and go to every hut on Metru Nui. The Matoran in the hut will pass out candy if we say “Trick or Treat.” Also, the costumes should be as scary and/or weird as possible for maximum holiday points.”

 

“What are holiday points?”

 

Tahu shrugged. “No idea. I hope they’re flammable though!” he added with a .

 

Gali sighed. “You would. Anyway, what should we go as?”

 

“I’ll go as a pie!” exclaimed Tava. “No, wait--I’ll go as Pi! Or...nah, pie sounds better! But Pi would be fun too…” The overly-obsessed Toa of Pie then wandered off, still debating with himself which to dress up as.

 

“Well, I think we should keep it a secret until tomorrow,” Lewa said. “That way, when we show up in our costumes, we’ll have to guess who’s who!”

 

“No,” argued Takanuva.

 

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!” screamed Kopaka, as usual.

 

“Why not? I think it’s a great idea!”

 

“Because Tava already ruined it,” the Toa of Light pointed out. “We already know he’ll be going as Pie or Pi.”

 

“Pretty sure we could have figured that one out even if he didn’t already tell us,” said Onua with a . “But I also like the idea of keeping it a secret. Should we take a vote?”

 

“No,” Takanuva argued again.

 

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!”

 

“ “ emoticonned Gali. “First, I think we should take a vote on whether or not to take a vote…”

 

“No.”

 

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!”

 

“Okay...a vote on whether or not to take a vote on whether or not to take a vote, then?”

 

“No.”

 

“AAAAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!”

 

The rest of the Toa facepalmed. “This will take all day…” muttered Onua.

 

 

 

Several hours and exactly 9,321 separate votes on whether or not to take votes on whether or not to take...you get the idea, the vote was finally taken on whether or not to keep everyone’s costumes a secret. And it ended up being a tie, so they just flipped a coin. But since coins don’t exist in BIONICLE, they flipped a widget instead, which ended up landing on its side, wedged inside Random Matoran #35’s gears. Eventually they all just gave up and Lewa just decided they would keep the costumes a secret anyway, making the entire previous scene completely pointless.

 

Each of the Toa retired to their respective houses to prepare their costumes. Occasional shouts of “PIE!” and “PI!” could be heard throughout the night, presumably by a certain obsessed Toa, but other than that, things went surprisingly without incident. Everyone was excited to start making their costumes, and throughout the island, various random Matoran were making as much candy as possible for the following day.

 

 

 

The next morning, all of Metru Nui was decorated for the occasion. Turaga Dume had even swapped his normal mask out for a Kanohi Puhmpka, the Mask of Pumpkin Heads, which had the power of giving him a pumpkin for a head. The chutes had been dyed orange, which annoyed all of the Le-Matoran who were now orange-colored but gave everyone else a good laugh. Black cardboard Fikou spiders covered the forges of Ta-Metru. The Ga-Metru schools were wrapped completely in mummy wrappings, which meant none of the students could go to school (great for the students, but not so much for the disappointed teachers). The Archives were now filled with fake ghost statues with glow-in-the-dark eyes, along with some Fikou spiders that everyone assumed were decorations but had actually escaped from the Archives, as discovered by an unfortunate Matoran who got bitten. Po-Metru had carved numerous gigantic statues of jack-o-lanterns, witches, and Matoran skeletons, except for the occasional statue of Hafu that had slipped in for some reason. Ko-Metru looked the same as normal because everyone there was too obsessed with telescopes to bother celebrating.

 

In the still-empty Coliseum, seven figures approached the center. (Yes, it was exactly in the center this time!) Everyone just groaned at the Toa wearing a giant pie around his waist, with the pi symbol for a mask. “Yes, Tava, we all know it’s you….”

 

“I couldn’t decide, so I went with both pie and pi! Isn’t that wesome?” Then Tava noticed the typo. “Hey, where did that ‘a’ go?”

 

“Ha, ha!” said a Toa dressed as the Rahkshi of Letter Control. “I borrowed the RLC’s actual staff for this costume. No idea it would still work for me!” They tehn strated ramdlee wvaing te staf arond and acidently mkang tpyos evrwher.

 

“Stop that, you’ll ruin this comedy!” protested a Toa dressed up as Krekka.

 

“What an unrealistic costume; Krekka doesn’t talk like that,” said Lewa. “And it’s also not scary.”

 

“ “ emoticonned the Krekka-dressed Toa. “Lewa, you forgot your costume...And for that matter, so did you, Takanuva. Did you forget what day it was?”

 

“No,” said Lewa.

 

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!” screamed a Toa dressed up in a blank white sheet.

 

“What are you supposed to be?” asked Lewa. “A ghost?”

 

“Not a ghost; I’m going as a Klakk blinking in a blizzard in Ko-Wahi.”

 

“Oh, okay. Nice Rock Monster costume over there, by the way.

 

“Thanks! Scary, huh?”

 

“Okay, okay, guys,” shouted Takanuva suddenly, “time out. I think we should start trying to guess each other’s costumes. Then we can all go trick-or-treating!”

 

Lewa raised his hand. “Sounds good, but is everyone here?”

 

“No,” said Takanuva.

 

Everyone looked around. “Tahu’s not here!” observed the Po-Matoran named Everyone, who had accidentally wandered in.

 

“Thanks for telling us, but this is a meeting for Toa only. Get out of here.” With a whunt, the Rock Monster kicked Everyone out of the Coliseum. However, he accidentally kicked the Matoran so hard that he flew all the way around the planet and landed back in the Coliseum, crushing the Rock Monster. “Why me!?” complained the disguised Toa with a .

 

The Krekka-costumed Toa shrugged. “Yeah, where is Tahu, anyway?”

 

“Probably forgot to show up,” said Takanuva. “Let’s just start guessing!”

 

“No,” observed Lewa, pointing to the entrance where a red Toa-sized figure was rapidly approaching.

 

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!” screamed the Klakk blinking in a blizzard in Ko-Wahi.

 

The figure emerged into the light. “Hi, everyone! Can we start burning something?” asked the figure, who was in a costume that looked like a large, ugly version of a Toa. It wore overly smooth red armor with some gold highlights, had silver hands with bizarre fingers, and had a mask that looked like a Hau that had gone through a blender. “Like my costume?”

 

When everyone saw it, they immediately followed the Klakk-costumed Toa's lead, running as fast as they could out of the building. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!”

 

 

 

Some time later, once everyone had composed themselves, the Toa went to the Moto-Hub for the costume contest that Dume had announced about five seconds beforehand. Everyone had shown up for the occasion. So had the rest of the Matoran on the island, even the newly-orange Le-Matoran. Dume walked onto the hastily constructed stage that was actually a bunch of pipe cleaners tied together with Silly String. “Okay, I know everyone wants to get on with the trick-or-treating, but first we will have seven awards for the best costumes. Let me list them in order:

 

1) Most Detailed Costume: Rahkshi of Letter Control

2) Most Original Costume: Klakk Blinking In A Blizzard In Ko-Wahi

3) Weirdest Costume: Pie/Pi Fusion

4) Most Unrealistic Personality/Costume Mix: Krekka

5) The “Forgot My Costume” award: This one is a tie, Lewa and Takanuva

6) Oldest Reference: Rock Monster

 

Before he could give the final award, Turaga Matau zoomed past in a new vehicle he was testing and plowed right through the stage. Amazingly, it still held, until Random Matoran #35 in the front row coughed. The entire thing promptly collapsed.

 

“Well, that was inconvenient,” muttered Turaga Dume. “Watch where you’re going, young whippersnapper!”

 

Turaga Matau zoomed by on his second lap. “Who are you calling young whippersnapper? I’m 1,000 years old, you know!”

 

“Well, I’m 2,000 years old! I was a Turaga when you were still a Matoran!”

 

“Yeah, but in 2,000 more years I will be 3,000 years old! So there!”

 

“But that would make me 4,000 years old”

 

“GET ON WITH IT!!” shouted the entire population of Metru Nui.

 

Dume sighed. “Fine...you youngsters have no maturity these days. Anyway...the Scariest Costume goes to...2015 TAHU!”

 

2015 Tahu stood up to show off his costume. Every Matoran in the Moto-Hub immediately fainted in fright. “Why does that keep happening?”

 

 

 

At long last, it was time for the Toa to start trick-or-treating. The eight Toa lined up in front of the first group of houses, located in Ta-Metru. “Ready to go?” asked Takanuva.

 

“No,” said Lewa.

 

“AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!” screamed the Klakk blinking in a blizzard in Ko-Wahi.

 

“Too bad, we’re starting anyway.” Lewa then rang the doorbell.

 

A Ta-Matoran stuck his head out. “Sorry, but doorbells don’t exist in BIONICLE.” He stuck his head back in.

 

Lewa sighed. “Fine, make me actually do work…” He knocked on the door. This time, the Ta-Matoran opened it.

 

“Trick or treat!!” shouted the group of Toa in unison.

 

“Sure, I’ve got some stuff for you right here,” said the Matoran, pulling out a huge bucket full of pumpkin pies.

 

The Toa all looked at each other. “Oh no…” they muttered as the pie-and-pi-costumed Toa barreled over the others and grabbed the entire bucket. “PIE!!” he screamed, running away with the bucket.

 

“ “ emoticonned the Matoran.

 

“Sorry about that,” said the Krekka-costumed Toa as they all pushed the barrels out of the way and stood up. “He does that sometimes. Maybe try cake next time?”

 

They moved on to the next house. “Burn-or-stuff!” said 2015 Tahu.

 

Krekka elbowed him in the ribs. “It’s ‘trick-or-treat,’ you moron…”

 

“Oh yeah. Trick-or-treat!”

 

“That’s much better.”

 

Takua opened the door, holding a bucket of Bula flavored candy for everyone. Then he caught sight of Takanuva. “How-but-what the paradox-how can this-huh-so confused-WHAT THE KARZAHNI!?” Takua then fainted.

 

“Uh...oops?”

 

They knocked at the next house, which turned out to be not a house at all, but a Turaga’s Home. Turaga Vakama answered the door. This time, the Rahkshi of Letter Control was first in line. The Turaga immediately set down his bucket of candy and pulled out his firestaff, proceeding to bonk the costumed Toa on the head with it. “Back! You foul creature! One more step and I’ll--”

 

“Sorry, he does that,” muttered Turaga Onewa, poking his head out from around the corner and pulling the other Turaga back. “He’s going a bit senile. Dume, can you take care of our fiery friend?”

 

Turaga Dume emerged from the house, still wearing his pumpkin-headed Kanohi. “Come on, Vakama, I have a mask for you to forge!”

 

“Mask forging? WOOHOO! “

 

“Anyway, here you go. Enjoy!” Turaga Onewa passed out some very strange-shaped and oddly hard candy.

 

“What is this?” asked the Rahkshi of Letter Control.

 

“It’s my favorite candy: Rocks!” answered Onewa with a .

 

After leaving the Turaga’s Home, they arrived at a house in Ga-Metru. Macku answered the door. “Uh…” said the first Toa in line, the one dressed as a Klakk blinking in a blizzard in Ko-Wahi. “What is it we say again?”

 

Krekka slapped his forehead. “Trick-or-treat, you moron!”

 

“Right, sorry, momentarily forgot.” Then, to Macku, he said, “Trick-or-treat, you moron!”

 

“How dare you!” she shrieked, and slammed the door in their faces.

 

The Toa all looked at each other. “This is turning into a disaster,” said the Rahkshi of Letter Control.

 

“Isn’t that how Dume’s holidays always go?” answered the Rock Monster.

 

 

 

After numerous other houses and various misadventures, they finally arrived at the last stop on the island, a large hut in Le-Metru. Krekka knocked on the door, and an orange Turaga Matau opened it. “Trick-or-treat!”

 

“ “ emoticonned Matau.

 

“What’s so funny?” asked the Rahkshi of Letter Control.

 

“Sorry about that, I have no idea why he keeps laughing,” said Turaga Nokama, pushing Matau away and grabbing a bucket full of Bula-covered chocolates. “Here you go!”

 

“Uh, not to be rude, but...shouldn’t those be ‘chocolate-covered Bula?’ interjected Krekka. “Because ‘Bula-covered chocolate’ doesn’t make sense.”

 

Nokama glanced at the rappers again, and shrugged. “They say ‘Bula-covered chocolate,’ so I guess that’s what they are,” she decided.

 

The Toa glanced over at the rappers as well.

 

 

“Bula-covered chocolates, in the house,

They taste really good in a hut or a house,

Yo DJ Kongu is here to say,

That we hope you have a Bula-covered holiday!” rapped DJ Kongu and the other rappers.

 

 

“ “ the Toa and Nokama emoticonned in unison.

 

Nokama looked at the wrappers on the candy to double-check, as well. “Yep, these also say ‘Bula-covered chocolate.’ Hmm...well, here you go!” She then passed out the oddly-named candy to the costumed Toa.

 

“ “ emoticonned Matau from inside the house.

 

“WHAT is so funny?” demanded Nokama.

 

“You’ll...haha...see...hahahahaha...for...heheha...yourself!”

 

The Toa glanced at each other. “Uh...okay then.”

 

The Rock Monster pulled out one of the Bula-covered chocolates and unwrapped it, taking a massive bite. “I wonder what these taste like?” he asked.

 

Then it exploded in his mouth, sending his mask flying off and also sending his regular mask underneath his costume mask flying off, causing him to pass out. Matau burst out laughing harder than ever. “MATAU! Did you replace those candies with chocolate-covered Madu?”

 

“Maybe…”

 

THE END

 

Skritch the Word Counting Fikou: This chapter has 2,401 words.

 

~Happy Halloween from Lewa# Studios!

 

Lewa0111 Nuva

 

(Note: I actually rather like the new 2015 designs and have nothing against them. I just thought it would be fun to use them in a joke. No offense intended!)

Edited November 6, 2014 by Lewa0111 Nuva

[Pohatu: Uniter of Stone]

I take it you don't like Tahu 2015. Nevermind, this was great! I didn't expect Tava to go as both pie and pi, either.

[Toa Smoke Monster]

I was hoping to see some Halloween-themed stories last month. Even though this is a few days after the holiday, it was definitely worth the wait. 

 

Anyways, I really like how you described what each Metru did for Halloween. That was really neat. I also liked how everyone freaked out over Tahu's costume. I really like his 2015 design as well, but I still thought everyone's reaction to it here was funny.

 

The only nitpick I have is that it ended kind of abruptly. They got to the last house, got their candy, said candy exploded on one of them, and then....the end. It doesn't feel like an ending to me, unless this is going to be continued in another post. Then ignore what I say here.

 

Overall, I really enjoyed this Halloween story. Keep up the good work!