Tilius Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 (edited) . Edited April 27, 2021 by Tilius 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toa Smoke Monster Posted January 22, 2015 Share Posted January 22, 2015 This is a really interesting story that links Gen 1 Bionicle to Gen 2 Bionicle. I like the idea of the Toa being 'facts' that continue on to different universe when their time in one is done. Its neat and something I wouldn't have thought of. So great job on coming up with that concept. I really like how you showed Vakama's guilt in not sending the Toa sooner to the next universe. You can tell that he is truly sorry for what he has done, but his grief doesn't soften the blow of his actions to get the Toa to Okoto. Using Vezon to achieve this, which then leads to his death, is a pretty dark path for Vakama to fall on. And even then its too late to save Akimu. I really like it when stories have their characters face the consequences of their actions and not get a free pass because they realized the error of their ways, so I'm happy you did that to Vakama in this one. My one complaint about this is when Vakama angrily slamed Ahkmou into the wall of his hut. It kind of seemed out of character for him, and it came out of the blue too. Its just not something I see this Vakama doing, considering what we see of him in the rest of the story. But that is just my opinion. Overall, this is a really great story that I enjoyed reading. Quote Everyone is one choice away from being the bad guy in another person's story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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