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'Legos not fit for human consumption'


Kanakalackin

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A recent study from The Onion has recently revealed that "Legos may not be fit for human consumption after all". Here is a direct quote from the article:
 
"A recent study involving 50 test subjects has shown that the colorful lego blocks are not fit for human consumption. Upon swallowing a standard 2x2 yellow lego brick, 3 in 5 subjects choked and needed to be driven to the ER for immediate treatment. The other 2 in 5 subjects disclosed that they experienced 'mild to extreme discomfort' while swallowing and post-swallowing. 1 in 2 of the remaining subjects later had to have stomach surgery to remove the plastic brick. One subject was found to have swallowed multiple bricks in his life, and was going through withdrawal after his parents sold his collection of legos. Quotes from the test subjects can be viewed at the end of this article."
 
Here are the statistics for the test:
 
Injury Rates From Legos
 
Pain in the throat/digestive tract: 90%
Immediate Death: 2%
Delayed death: 12%
Foot injuries: 100%
Knee injuries: 100%
 
Why legos are swallowed
 
Confusion for candy: 67%
Tastes good: 30%
Texture: 20%
Childhood habits: 100%
 
Here is the closing statement:
 
"After the results for this test were received and compiled, we at The Onion have declared Legos 'unfit for human consumption'. We have emailed the LEGO company (which manufactures the legos), asking for a product recall due to choking hazards. Next week we will experiment on Dogs and Cats."
 
Here are some of the quotes from the subjects:
 
"At first I felt a scrape along my throat and then it stopped. When I went home, my stomach started aching and I developed a rash along my legs and groin. 0/8 would not do again." -- A. Kekler
 
"I was thrilled when i learned I was doing an experiment with legos. My parents sold my collection recently, and I'm going through withdrawal. I love swallowing the little plastic candies." --B. Tamey
 
"I'm going to die." -- E. Tuck

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Ok are you serious or is this one of those April Fools type deals? I mean really? I understand the whole "toddlers swallow the bricks due to habits of putting small items into their mouth." deal. But how much money do you have to be paid to know this is a bad idea? What moron would think plastic of any kind is edible?

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I am just going to enumerate this once: The Onion is a satirical site, and any articles posted to that site is intended to be humerous, and may or may not reflect reality. That said, that you should not try to eat LEGO is quite sensible, and the article does raise a point.

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Hmm...

I feel like most of these people made the mistake of eating them raw. Have you ever tried eating a raw pufferfish? Bad idea.

Personally, I always cook mine before eating, sometimes broiling them after tossing them in olive oil, and sometimes go for a saute with garlic and stuff. Pretty tasty if they're prepared correctly.

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Confusion for candy: 67%

That had me rolling!:superfunny:

 

Also, that guy missing his lego sets.... :lol:

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I remember one of my grandmother's gods ate one of my big Lego wheels. Wonder how he was feeling after consuming it.

Your grandmother owns gods?!  :eek:

 

(Sorry, couldn't help myself. :P I assume you meant to say dogs.)

 

Anyways, I've never eaten a Lego piece before. Nor do I plan to. But the article does remind me of Eggo Waffles for some reason....

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I remember one of my grandmother's gods ate one of my big Lego wheels. Wonder how he was feeling after consuming it.

I presume a deity would not be overly inconvenienced by consumption of plastic. However, I'm curious as to why one would descend to this mortal plane for such a purpose.

 

~B~

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I remember one of my grandmother's gods ate one of my big Lego wheels. Wonder how he was feeling after consuming it.

I presume a deity would not be overly inconvenienced by consumption of plastic. However, I'm curious as to why one would descend to this mortal plane for such a purpose.

 

~B~

To test his/her mettle against a LEGO brick?

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I have no idea whether or not this was supposed to be in the comedy section, the quotes are making me think it should be, either way, this is the best thing I've ever read, it's glorious, even the comments on this thing are great,


 



I remember one of my grandmother's gods ate one of my big Lego wheels. Wonder how he was feeling after consuming it.

Your grandmother owns gods?!  :eek:

 

(Sorry, couldn't help myself. :P I assume you meant to say dogs.)

 

Anyways, I've never eaten a Lego piece before. Nor do I plan to. But the article does remind me of Eggo Waffles for some reason....

 

It reminds you of waffles because.......Lego my Eggos,

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To test his/her mettle against a LEGO brick?

 

 

I presume a deity would not be overly inconvenienced by consumption of plastic. However, I'm curious as to why one would descend to this mortal plane for such a purpose.

 

~B~

 

 

Your grandmother owns gods?!  :eek:

 

(Sorry, couldn't help myself. :P I assume you meant to say dogs.)

 

Anyways, I've never eaten a Lego piece before. Nor do I plan to. But the article does remind me of Eggo Waffles for some reason....

 

 

I remember one of my grandmother's dogs ate one of my big Lego wheels. Wonder how he was feeling after consuming it.

 

You all didn't see anything :fear:

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I am just going to enumerate this once: The Onion is a satirical site, and any articles posted to that site is intended to be humerous, and may or may not reflect reality. That said, that you should not try to eat LEGO is quite sensible, and the article does raise a point.

It doesn't matter that it was posted on April 1st. The Onion is always fake. This isn't a real study, but was rather created by some satire writers giggling at their desks.

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I am just going to enumerate this once: The Onion is a satirical site, and any articles posted to that site is intended to be humerous, and may or may not reflect reality. That said, that you should not try to eat LEGO is quite sensible, and the article does raise a point.

It doesn't matter that it was posted on April 1st. The Onion is always fake. This isn't a real study, but was rather created by some satire writers giggling at their desks.

 

That is what I said. Did you mean to quote a different post?

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I am just going to enumerate this once: The Onion is a satirical site, and any articles posted to that site is intended to be humerous, and may or may not reflect reality. That said, that you should not try to eat LEGO is quite sensible, and the article does raise a point.

It doesn't matter that it was posted on April 1st. The Onion is always fake. This isn't a real study, but was rather created by some satire writers giggling at their desks.

 

That is what I said. Did you mean to quote a different post?

 

No, I was just trying to emphasize what you said, because I say some people thinking that it was just because it was on April 1st, and it didn't seem like a lot of people were paying attention to what you said.

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I am just going to enumerate this once: The Onion is a satirical site, and any articles posted to that site is intended to be humerous, and may or may not reflect reality. That said, that you should not try to eat LEGO is quite sensible, and the article does raise a point.

It doesn't matter that it was posted on April 1st. The Onion is always fake. This isn't a real study, but was rather created by some satire writers giggling at their desks.

 

That is what I said. Did you mean to quote a different post?

 

No, I was just trying to emphasize what you said, because I say some people thinking that it was just because it was on April 1st, and it didn't seem like a lot of people were paying attention to what you said.

 

Ah. Alright.

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Personally, I always cook mine before eating, sometimes broiling them after tossing them in olive oil, and sometimes go for a saute with garlic and stuff. Pretty tasty if they're prepared correctly.

I've always wanted to try that with those Shakespeare books from school. The paper's thin enough that it could actually be really good. Better than eating a plurality of Lego.

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...Yeah, I'm as pedantic as the next guy when it comes to Lego, but to expect others, especially non-fans, to not use "Legos" is pretty silly. Calling that poor grammar is even more so.

 

Also, saying that Lego is exclusively an adjective is also just. Silly.

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