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Bionicle: Combat Evolved


SuperStickman117

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So, yeah. I was inspired by ManiacToaLaco's Transonicle comedy, so I've decided to make a comedy like that, except Halo. So here we go...THE COLUMN OF FALLSpace, the Final Frontier... wait, wrong sci-fi... A long time ago... no! It's um... oh, wait, this game didn't have an opening tagline... right... Ok nevermind. Anyway, It's space, k? There's this big ring in the distance, and a large ship comes into view, with Column of Fall written on the side. "Hahli, all I want to know is if that fast food restaurant got my order right," Captain Vakama asked. "I think we both know the answer to that question." Hahli said. It pans in on the bridge of the ship. Inside, is a busy crew and a man standing at the viewport. "How? I made sure that guy knew I didn't want anything on my burger!" "They've always been faster, but that other restaurant always get your order right. Oh, and BTW there's a whole Covenant of Makuta fleet coming in to attack us," She replied. "Ok, I want everyone at combat ready stations," Vakama said. "Everyone?" Hahli asked. "No, I want one person on combat ready stations. Of course I want everyone!" In the hangar, A large amount of Matoran enter vehicles and head for starships. A squad of Matoran form two parallel lines and an Onu-Matoran sergeant walks through the lines. "Men, hear is where we show those black-masked Piraka that they could not of picked a worse enemy than the Matoran race! We're going to blow the Karzahni out of those dumb Rahi until we have nothing left to throw at them. Then we'll strangle them with their own organic parts!1" Sergeant Onepu exclaimed, "Am I right?""Yes sir!" The soldiers called back in reply. "Uh huh, dang right I am." Meanwhile, in a Cryo station unit, Nuparu and Taipu stand over console. A message goes across the screen; Unseal the hushed casket. "Whoa," Taipu said, pressing a button. Below, a cryo pod was unfreezing. Inside, was a TOA, augmented supersoldiers, who were the Matoran's last chance against the Makuta Covenant. The TOA was Jaller-117, one of the last surviving TOA. Nuparu went down to the cryo pod as Jaller stepped out. "Sorry about the quick thaw, Master Chief, things are a bit, well, ya know, on fire, and uh, hectic." Nuparu said. "Let me calibrate your suit." Great. Jaller thought, Now I have to act like I've never moved my head before. I knew I should've played on Heroic. After menially relearning how to look, he had to have a HAU system downloaded to his suit to activate his shields. At that moment, the naval person decided that working his station was boring, so he magically conjures a pistol and leads Master Chief out to the fight. As Jaller followed him, wishing he had an animation for the no weapon melee so he could tear this annoying naval guy aprt. But no, Bungie did not put melee if you didn't have a weapon in for this game. So he had to wait till Vakama gave him a pistol. Oh yeah, that was a spoiler. Anyway, when he finally reached the bridge, he talked to Captain Vakama. "Hello Master Chief, things aren't looking good." Vakama said. "Well, considering you've got an entire Makuta fleet up your backside, I'd be worrying too," Jaller said under his breath. "Hahli did her best, but the Makuta are still out there." Vakama said. "12 superior battleships against a single ship with a stupid name? I'm content with 4... make that 3, kills." Hahli said. "Sleep well?" "Well, let's see. I'm frozen, I guess I didn't really have a choice but to sleep." Jaller retorted. "So you did miss me," She said. An explosion rocks the ship, and Jaller and Vakama quickly fell to the ground. "Report," Vakama said. "One of their boarding parties. Probably a shadow charge," Cortana told him. "Well, that settles it. We're abandoning the Fall. Jaller, I want you to get Cortana down to the ring safely. Here have my pistol that I carry around but for some stupid reason I don't keep it loaded." I guess you could use it to beat the head in of any Makuta you find, or something." "Sounds good to me," Jaller said, taking the pistol and leaving the bridge. Outside, he found three shadow Matoran, which he dealt with quickly. He headed to the mess hall, where he met up with Onepu, along with more Shadow matoran and a Rahkshi to boot. The Shadow matoran were easy to deal with, but the Rahkshi had shields. He moved along, taking out more Makuta forces, until he found the escape pods. The last one was filled up, but he forced another Matoran in anyway because he's cool like that. The escape pod launched and... cliffhanger (unless you've played this game, in which case you know what happens).1: That's an adaptation of his Heroic speech.

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Credit for the avatar and banner goes to Shattered Mask Productions.

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Very nice! It's good to know I can actually inspire people!I quite like how lots of the humour seems to be on players experiences, i.e having to be told how to move your head!, which always bugged me a bit, as well as the melee joke. I do quite enjoy the Halo franchise, so do a good job, buddy :PThe only thing I didn't really like was how squished together everything is, which makes it hard to read. You don't have to space it out to the extent I do, but making a new paragraph everytime someone talks would make it a lot easier to read, as well as following the rules of English grammar.I look forward as too where this is going!MTL

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This is a great job! So great I'm compelled to make the BZP wiki page. Then, of course, its YOUR comedy, so you should do it. This thing has great potential, especially since there are actually quite a lot of things in the Halo series which was "Stupid". Not much problems here and there, but as ManiacToaLaco said, its pretty squished together, making it hard to read. Keep it up, and you'll be a great writer someday. Perhaps you'll make sequels and spinoffs. That would be cool.

GT: Jl1223 X <----add me :3


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BZPRPG Profiles 2013

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