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Le-Koro Discovered


Onuki

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Le-Koro Discovered

Supposed 404 Inhabitants Not Found

 

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Yesterday marked the much-anticipated discovery of the long-lost city of Le-Koro.  Sources report that an Onu-Koronan mining team comprised almost exclusively of one Taipu at last broke through an ambitious and dimly well-lit tunnel sometime in the early afternoon.

 

“We always knew there was a sixth village somewhere,” explained would-be Rahi wrangler and incumbent Turaga interpreter Matoro of Ko-Koro.  “The prophecies have long predicted it, just not its exact location.”

 

While Turaga Nokama and Nixie the Astrologer have already filed a lawsuit over who vaguely predicted the discovery first, others have had more tangible problems in the breakthrough’s wake.

 

“We’re broke,” elucidated a melancholy Turaga Whenua of Onu-Koro.  “We spent everything we had on that tunnel, and that didn’t even cover the cost of feeding Taipu.”  In an attempt to save money, residents have since been living without power, rock-lifting contests, or Ussal crab transportation services.

 

But the biggest conundrum for all of Mata Nui’s eager Koro-greeters has been the most shocking twist of all: Out of all four hundred four of the village’s fabled inhabitants, not a single one has been found.  Whenua lamented, “It’s as if they were all carried off by something out of the sky.”  A defensive Matoro has been quick to observe that “these prophecies don’t give refunds.”

 

An expedition by established adventurer Takua revealed only a “useless flute” in what is believed to have been the center square of the ancient treetop city.  Sighed a frustrated Turaga Vakama of Ta-Koro, “He’s an aimless, misunderstood drifter.  We have no reason not to believe him.”

 

The lack of life in Le-Koro has confounded Onu-Koronan merchants, Ko-Koronan Rahi hunters, and Po-Koronan tourists alike.  “We were relying on those import tariffs to cover the costs of Onu-Koro’s new elevator system,” said a dismayed Onepu.  “At least the elevator music is pretty good.”

 

While Turaga Vakama is reportedly organizing a second expedition led by no-nonsense Ta-Koronan Guard Captain Jaller, hopes remain slim that any of the finely carved statues, fresh fish, or Great Spirit souvenirs intended for the dwellers of Le-Wahi will ever reach their destination.  Plans are already being made to collapse the Onu-Koronan tunnel in an attempt to convince their creditors that the discovery never happened.

 

“The prophecies were right about almost everything,” shrugged an ambivalent Matoro.  “We just didn’t think it would literally be a village of air.”

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I love these so much. Just so much. I like how finding the inhabitants of an entire Koro is screwed up because Takua didn't play the flute. Keep up the awesome.

 

Thanks!  Yes, I think it's a funny scenario to consider. Sometimes the MNOLG could have been a comedy. :P

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An entire Koro gone missing?  This must be the work of Makuta!  Summon the Toa!

 

...oh, they're missing someone too.

 

Yeah, I considered writing about the Toa or possibly just Lewa to see what he might do to help, but I think it's funnier to imagine that he's been taken by the Rama swarm, too. :P

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