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Master Inika

BIONICLE: The Last Chronicle Review

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Hello! This is the review topic for my epic BIONICLE: The Last Chronicle. I hope to create a single serial meant to tie up the loose ends in BIONICLE, giving it a final conclusion once and for all.

 

I have compiled a list of plot threads I plan on closing in this epic. Please tell me if I missed any. Here are what I can recall:

 

1. Miserix, Tuyet, Helryx, Artakha, Axonn, Brutaka, Hafu, Kapura, Vezon, and the insane Great Being were on Bota Magna. Velika was preparing to murder all of them to further his plans to rule Spherus Magna. (Addressed in Chapter 1.)

 

2. The Shadowed One had discovered an incredibly powerful virus and planned on uniting with the Barraki to use it. (Addressed in Chapter 2.)

 

3. Voporak had acquired the Mask of Time. (Addressed in Chapter 2.)

 

4. Gelu, Orde, Zaria, and Chiara were searching for the Great Beings on Bota Magna when they were captured by Kabrua. (Addressed in Chapter 3.)

 

5. Lewa was part of the insane Great Being's group, but left and encountered a group of Bota Magna Agori. (Addressed in Chapter 3.)

 

6. Marendar, a Toa-killing machine, has been released. (Addressed in Chapter 4.)

 

Am I missing anything? I am aware of Kopaka, Pohatu, and Gaardus on the Red Star, but I have plans to deal with that plot thread in another story.

 

Comments on which loose ends to tie up and your thoughts on what I have so far in general are much appreciated.

Edited by Master Inika

"You are an absolute in these uncertain times. Your past is forgotten, and your
future is an empty book. You must find your own destiny, my brave adventurer.
"
-- Turaga Nokama

nichijou2.jpg

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I like it! I think it will be interesting.

One thing triggers me a little bit: the capital city was going to be named New Atero, not New Metru Nui. :P

Good luck!

 

More plot threads:
-The Shadowed One's army and virus

-The Marendar

-Makuta Miserix

Edited by Toa-Aletrax

"The future will bring the answers to your questions, but only if you stop speaking long enough to notice them."

~Toa Nuju

 

My fanfiction (continuation of G1):

Chapter1 The Plan

Chapter2 The Encounter

Chapter3 The Blueprints

Chapter4 The Fight

Chapter5 The Traveller

Chapter6 New Tools

Chapter7 Rescuers on the Red Star

 

My musical project: The Chronicler (the topic of the project)

 

Songs:

- Le-Matoran in Bota Magna

- Triumph of The Seventh Toa

- Building New Atero (Le-Matoran in Bota Magna VIP)

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Yeah, I have no excuse for the New Metru Nui thing, sorry. :P I'll try to synthesize it. Also, I added your points to the list.


"You are an absolute in these uncertain times. Your past is forgotten, and your
future is an empty book. You must find your own destiny, my brave adventurer.
"
-- Turaga Nokama

nichijou2.jpg

Click here to visit my library!

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Interesting work so far-keep it up.


Voicing your opinions with tact is the best way to keep a discussion from becoming an argument.
So far as I'm aware, it's pronounced like this: We're ee ah moo.
 

Check out my Creations:

Epics

G1 Battle for Spherus Magna - G2 A Lingering Shadow


Short Stories

G1 Fallen Guardian - G2 Shadows of Past and Future (The Legend Continues Entry) Head of Stone, Heart of Jungle


MOCs

Mask Hoarder, Desert Scourge

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Haha! That was a nice way to change the name of New Metru Nui into New Atero! :bowdown: :blushlaugh: :D

I love it...

Edited by Toa-Aletrax

"The future will bring the answers to your questions, but only if you stop speaking long enough to notice them."

~Toa Nuju

 

My fanfiction (continuation of G1):

Chapter1 The Plan

Chapter2 The Encounter

Chapter3 The Blueprints

Chapter4 The Fight

Chapter5 The Traveller

Chapter6 New Tools

Chapter7 Rescuers on the Red Star

 

My musical project: The Chronicler (the topic of the project)

 

Songs:

- Le-Matoran in Bota Magna

- Triumph of The Seventh Toa

- Building New Atero (Le-Matoran in Bota Magna VIP)

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The possibility of the Dark Hunters becoming the public's new "heroes" is very interesting. I also like how the Vahi is playing a big role, and you're showcasing just how powerful a mask it really is. I confess to reading through this pretty quickly (I don't really pay much attention to BIONICLE fan fiction anymore), but I was surprised at how fresh some of the ideas are. You've gathered all the weird, unfinished plotlines from the G1 serials and taken them in an interesting direction.

 

That said, killing off prominent characters so matter-of-factly is a big no-no in my book. I get that Velika is supposed to be super evil, but to have a villain of TSO's caliber die off-screen like some punk feels... cheap (His apology to Velika-- sincere or not-- was also super out-of-character, IMO). Some of the other deaths felt wasteful and anti-climactic, mainly because you used a simple summary format instead of actually showing their deaths. I hope you end up using the Red Star plotline somewhere, so we get to see more of those characters.

 

I'm also both intrigued and baffled by the final lines of Chapter Two concerning Velika and Tuyet. It takes a lot to hook me into BIONICLE fan fiction these days, but I never saw that coming in a million years, so maybe I'll keep reading. :P

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That said, killing off prominent characters so matter-of-factly is a big no-no in my book. I get that Velika is supposed to be super evil, but to have a villain of TSO's caliber die off-screen like some punk feels... cheap (His apology to Velika-- sincere or not-- was also super out-of-character, IMO). Some of the other deaths felt wasteful and anti-climactic, mainly because you used a simple summary format instead of actually showing their deaths. I hope you end up using the Red Star plotline somewhere, so we get to see more of those characters.

 

I'm also both intrigued and baffled by the final lines of Chapter Two concerning Velika and Tuyet. It takes a lot to hook me into BIONICLE fan fiction these days, but I never saw that coming in a million years, so maybe I'll keep reading. :P

Thanks for the feedback, I always appreciate it. As for all the casual deaths, I was unsure of those from the very beginning. I wish I could use the excuse that Tuyet isn't necessarily trying to make it theatrical, just record events to the best of her ability, but the real reason is that, if I gave everyone the time and effort needed to give them proper deaths/conclusions, it would honestly take more time and energy than I'm willing to put in to this.

 

I'm actually surprised how difficult it is for me to juggle all of these intersecting stories, and I don't think there could have been an elegant way to merge them all perfectly. Having attempted it, I'm unsurprised Greg left them unfinished rather than try making something coherent out of it.

 

I'm assuming your last comment was for Chapter 3, and, if so, thank you. :) I knew that one would garner some interest.


"You are an absolute in these uncertain times. Your past is forgotten, and your
future is an empty book. You must find your own destiny, my brave adventurer.
"
-- Turaga Nokama

nichijou2.jpg

Click here to visit my library!

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An interesting installment-nice little nod to Velika's Toa status in The Kingdom. It occurred to me as I was reading that Miserix could have possessed Marendar as a new body, since nothing we know about it indicates that it had a "soul" that would prevent such action.


Voicing your opinions with tact is the best way to keep a discussion from becoming an argument.
So far as I'm aware, it's pronounced like this: We're ee ah moo.
 

Check out my Creations:

Epics

G1 Battle for Spherus Magna - G2 A Lingering Shadow


Short Stories

G1 Fallen Guardian - G2 Shadows of Past and Future (The Legend Continues Entry) Head of Stone, Heart of Jungle


MOCs

Mask Hoarder, Desert Scourge

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An interesting installment-nice little nod to Velika's Toa status in The Kingdom. It occurred to me as I was reading that Miserix could have possessed Marendar as a new body, since nothing we know about it indicates that it had a "soul" that would prevent such action.

That would have been brilliant. >.<

"You are an absolute in these uncertain times. Your past is forgotten, and your
future is an empty book. You must find your own destiny, my brave adventurer.
"
-- Turaga Nokama

nichijou2.jpg

Click here to visit my library!

Share this post


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An interesting installment-nice little nod to Velika's Toa status in The Kingdom. It occurred to me as I was reading that Miserix could have possessed Marendar as a new body, since nothing we know about it indicates that it had a "soul" that would prevent such action.

That would have been brilliant. >.<

Yeah well, you seem to have made him plenty threatening without doing so.


Voicing your opinions with tact is the best way to keep a discussion from becoming an argument.
So far as I'm aware, it's pronounced like this: We're ee ah moo.
 

Check out my Creations:

Epics

G1 Battle for Spherus Magna - G2 A Lingering Shadow


Short Stories

G1 Fallen Guardian - G2 Shadows of Past and Future (The Legend Continues Entry) Head of Stone, Heart of Jungle


MOCs

Mask Hoarder, Desert Scourge

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Hm...Miserix went down surprisingly easy, given how omnipotent he claimed to be in the previous chapter. Nice touch with the Great Temple, and I'm intrigued by how Tuyet seems to be developing feelings for Velika; brings to mind my own theory about how various characters developed romantic feelings in the Matoran Universe despite not being programmed for it.


Voicing your opinions with tact is the best way to keep a discussion from becoming an argument.
So far as I'm aware, it's pronounced like this: We're ee ah moo.
 

Check out my Creations:

Epics

G1 Battle for Spherus Magna - G2 A Lingering Shadow


Short Stories

G1 Fallen Guardian - G2 Shadows of Past and Future (The Legend Continues Entry) Head of Stone, Heart of Jungle


MOCs

Mask Hoarder, Desert Scourge

Share this post


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Hm...Miserix went down surprisingly easy, given how omnipotent he claimed to be in the previous chapter. Nice touch with the Great Temple, and I'm intrigued by how Tuyet seems to be developing feelings for Velika; brings to mind my own theory about how various characters developed romantic feelings in the Matoran Universe despite not being programmed for it.

Thank you for your feedback, as always. In hindsight, I wish I didn't make him seem so all-powerful. I wasn't sure when I wrote Chapter 6 if I'd have Tuyet accept his offer or not. I imagined it as Miserix being defeated due to being taken by surprise, but I guess I could have made that clearer.

"You are an absolute in these uncertain times. Your past is forgotten, and your
future is an empty book. You must find your own destiny, my brave adventurer.
"
-- Turaga Nokama

nichijou2.jpg

Click here to visit my library!

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