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KARDAS DRAGON appears!


Pahrak Model ZX

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I see the massive assault and give myself a massive facepalm. "that's not going to work....."

I notice that Lipuret McKaukau is taking a nap in the corner. Concerned that I didn't notice him before I begin to question my sanity. Maybe its the radiation? Or concussion? Perhaps I am the threat? Where did I even come from in the first place? WHY WAS I SOAKING WET? IS ANY OF THIS REAL?

Completely off base and panicked, I run to an escape pod and jettison myself down back to the surface, but not before emptying the kitchen and filling my pod with all the food. You guys aren't going to last anyways; you won't need it. I also notice a prototype spear of fusion laying around. No sense in letting it go to waste......

move along.

nothing to see here.

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 I hear a bunch of ballistics outside, but my nap is undeterred.

 Then I sense somebody misgendering me and wake up almost immediately.

 "Sorry, I think you just..." Not immediately enough apparently, since nobody's adressing me now. With my sleep disrupted, I decide to indulge in another favourite activity of mine: eating a lot and not getting fat.

 Unfortunately, the fridge is empty. "Strange...", I think, trusting Laval's sensibilities as a host not to welcome a bunch of strangers into a ship without having at least some bread.

 Even stranger, I look outside the window to find we're no longer escaping KARDAS DRAGON, but rather landing a couple bio away from it. Strangeness has invaded our journey.

 "Hi folks, what's happening? It...". I stop to make sure I'm with the same people. It seems there's just five of us now, where there used to be six (seven counting Schrödinger's Bo-Matoran on the floor)... Strangeness...

 "Anyway, don't you folks have like, muffins or something? I'm kinda hungry."

Edited by Lipuret McKaukau
I missed an indentation. :I

I'm Vrokdann in Skyrise: Ascent, and Luntep in the BZPRPG.

[sigfig in tunnel]

My profile pic's a cool little thing I made called Bettani. That thing up there's just a me inside a tunnel.

 

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I finally open the door-not by using the handle on the inside mind you, but by using the Bo-Matoran as a battering ram to break the glass window, then by beating him against the handle on the outside of the door, causing it to snap off and the door to swing open. As I run out, the Matoran sees his chance to escape my cruel clutches and leaps towards one of the many Olmak lying around. He puts it on and uses it, hoping to flee to another dimension. He appears right below the ship's hatch as I open up said hatch, giving him yet another vicious "thonk" on the head. I exit the ship, singing Jack Sparrow's theme from Pirates of the Caribbean at the top of my lungs while walking in a listing, intoxicated fashion. I fall down on my knees a few feet away from the ship and yell out at Kardas: "MY SON!!!!!!!" flinging my hands into the air.      

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   I... I think we made it out. I applaud Laval's piloting.

*clap*

*clap clap clap*

*vigorous applause*

  Wow, that got awkward very fast. In any case, we should probably get back to work. Kardas is still on a rampage. Perhaps we need a tactician of Alexander's caliber to help us come up with a plan. Maybe we could have a ceasefire until we come up with a plan?

   The most recent volley of artillery impacts the ground to the backdrop of a song like this. I notice a figure kneeling in front of Kardas. Wondering who it could be, I move on.

I can't see from here what kind of damage it did.

 

   As I stare out the window at Kardas, I notice a small figure (Is it yelling?) at Kardas. I look back at the Moar Botar's room, which is now empty. Huh. That exterior door is open. I walk inside the room to check on the occupants, and I find nothing but the Bo-Matoran, out cold. I take him in to the medical bay. I've learned two things from this room: The figure outside is most likely Moar Botar, and that Bo-Matoran is very unfortunate.

 

   As I pass the ship's status panel, I notice that one of the escape pods is missing. I'm sure it's nothing, but I haven't seen kanohi of jello anywhere on the ship. I pass by the armory on my way to the kitchen (I've been feeling a little snackish myself) and grab my personal items. 

 

   I arrive in the kitchen with a pan of muffins from my personal store. Yeah... jello took all the food. We should have other stores in different locations. Well, at least we've got something. Would anyone else like any? 

Edited by Downfall
Realized I used "perhaps" to start two sentences in a row.
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 Huh, nice music.

 With utmost gratitude, I grab one muffin and start eating (don't think it'll be the only one though). It is quite the spectacle, to have some muffins, some nice classical music, and behold MoarBotar as he attempts to reason with an illogically powerful constraction fiend.

"Folks, do you think KARDAS DRAGON likes muffins?"

I'm Vrokdann in Skyrise: Ascent, and Luntep in the BZPRPG.

[sigfig in tunnel]

My profile pic's a cool little thing I made called Bettani. That thing up there's just a me inside a tunnel.

 

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I suppose that's a no on the ceasefire then.

I don't know about the muffins, but they might be useful. It might be a good idea to send a pan down to Moar Botar. I'm sure he'll find some use for them.

I've also got a couple boxes of muffin mix just in case it works out.

Edited by Downfall
Corrections.

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While continuing to plead before Kardas to "stop this madness!" I subtly turn my head and nod towards Downfall-a pan of muffins would quite improve my list of assets (which I keep a record of in my evil plan notebook, still residing in my back pocket). 

Turning back to Kardas I say "My son, let us end this mindless destruction and make up for lost time-how about a game of catch?" I hold up a white and red ball in my hand

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Alright, let's blow this muffin cart! 

Here are your muffins. That'll be $122.50. Plus tip.

If you're wondering why it costs so much, it costs 50 cents per muffin. (There are a lot of muffins. The muffin cart nearly exploded on the way here.)

We also have a space-compressing muffin tin that probably should have been used earlier.

Final note: Don't forget about our generous payment plans starting as low as a cent a day!

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In my crazed frenzy to get off the ship I hit my head and have been unconscious for quite a while. Out of the edges of the blackness, I get the odd feeling that I have misgendered someone....

"Hey, about earlier.... sorry I...."

I cut off mid-sentence, suddenly VERY aware of my surroundings. See, the escape pods were not designed to function as fridges, and most of the food I had taken was EXTREMELY perishable. The smell of unrefrigerated goods strewn all around the pod pulls me to me senses almost immediately.

Downing a Twinkie (one of the few salvageable goods), I begin to pry open the door to the escape pod. Not 15 feet away I see an odd collection of muffin delivery staff, Kardas curiously looking at a ball, and a few others watching on the now reassembled stadium seating. The smell has caused Kardas to glance away from MoarBotar.

"oh no."

Edited by kanohi of jello
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move along.

nothing to see here.

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100 damage!

KARDAS DRAGON backs up, landing on the ground for a moment.  It takes note of MoarBotar's pleading and, reminded of how it hates fetch, blasts a beam of concussive energy!

 

So, I think it's time to admit that I'm not running this as well as I would have hoped.  Still, you all seem to be having fun even when I'm MIA, so instead of closing down maybe I should just find a way to shift things to work better no matter how distracted I get.  Any suggestions for how you would like to see this done?

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Seeing my plan falling apart (or is it?) I head for shelter. "Not TODAY boyos!" I quickly signup for a payment plan that will let me be muffin-debt-free in six months, hurl the muffins in the air and wolf down the muffin pan, and throw the ball I'm holding at my forehead. The Pokeball works successfully-MOARBOTAR HAS CAUGHT A WILD MOARBOTAR!-and I hide in the little ball to see what happens. The Bo-Matoran is eyeing the Pokeball with desperation. 

 

***

We could take turns controlling Kardas or make Kardas up for grabs? The creativity from all you guys is frankly genius hilarity and I feel like there would be some pretty clever Kardas attacks/reactions... unless someone does something that radically changes our goal.... 

*Though I've loved how you've been controlling Kardas-when he got so focused on the Pai Sho game I was in stitches :D 

Edited by MoarBotar
Clarification

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Still in a jam (sans muffin), I am left to my imagination as Kardas saunters over to me, clearly relishing the moment to finally have trapped prey.

Wishing I too could just hide away in a small ball, a dimensional gate opens beside me, and someone who looks awful familiar hands me the kanohi Ignika then vanishes again. Stunned by this handsome visitor, it is a few moments before I realize the power and responsibility that has just been gifted to me. No time for a plan, I smash the mask onto my face (giving myself yet another concussion).

My mask! (wait.... why did I just say that?)

 

****

edit: as an aside, I don't get on very often, so I don't really have a huge opinion about who controls Kardas. I think its working well enough now personally

Edited by kanohi of jello
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move along.

nothing to see here.

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It's not just an alternate version of Jello that comes out of the warp gate...

A figure clad in emerald armor flies from the rift and through the air. They land on Kardas' back and attempt to steer the dragon away from Jello.

"ONLY A GREAT TOA-RIDER COULD TAME A WILD KARDAS DRAGON!" shouts the Toa, who is none other than the 2004 version of Matau.

Everyone else on the battlefield pauses to wonder why the Toa Metru of Air has taken an interest in this particular dimension.

***

This one was weird to write. As for the Kardas Control Problem...

2 hours ago, kanohi of jello said:

I think its working well enough now personally

Same.

RPG Characters: Explota Akkitu
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On 12/4/2019 at 8:08 PM, Laval- Master of Energy said:

"ONLY A GREAT TOA-RIDER COULD TAME A WILD KARDAS DRAGON!" shouts the Toa, who is none other than the 2004 version of Matau.

Flashback to my childhood self who idolized Matau (flying Toa+billboard=much funny) 

**I'm fine with things the way they are now too, so long as Pahrak is fine with it

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The gate is still open. From it comes The Feral Muffin.

While other muffins were easily sold at unfair prices, The Feral Muffin nibbles at the Mask of Life, still over jello's unconscious face.

While other players were sitting at the bench staring, The Feral Muffin pushes Matau off KARDAS DRAGON's back, and bites it aggressively.

...the gate should be closed.

* * * * * *

I'm absolutely okay with the game's current pace. It's an RPG after all, there's gotta be turns for everyone...

I'm Vrokdann in Skyrise: Ascent, and Luntep in the BZPRPG.

[sigfig in tunnel]

My profile pic's a cool little thing I made called Bettani. That thing up there's just a me inside a tunnel.

 

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The time has come Kardas is on the verge of defeat. Kardas sees me on horseback at the top of the nearby hill, he laughs to himself at this puny threat; but then a ferocious shout echoes through the air and the entire Mongol Horde appears behind me (they were safely in the various armada ships). We go on a mighty cavalry charge impressive to all who behold it. The only way this ends is with the death of Kardas!!!

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 AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA- bonk!

 I am panicked. What do I do with this... what is this?! It's like, a potato but hollow and gold and it's got a stick figure in it?!? AAAAAAAAAAH!!!

 Okay okay, calm down girl, calm... down...

 The muffins, they are rising...
...now I know what to do.

 "MUFFINS OF OUR HALLOWED LAND OF BIONICLE-ZONE-POWER: HEED MY SUMMONS! I AM LIPURET, OF HOUSE Mc, uh..." From my makeshift podium over the ship's remains, I behold my legion of muffins stand idle.

 "I AM LIPURET OF HOUSE McKAUKAU. I AM YOUR MOTHER, AND YOUR QUEEN! AND IN THE NAME OF THE SACRED FACEPLATE THAT BORE YOU, AND FOR THE GLORY OF OUR GODDESS, AMY WINFREY, I SAY: ATTACK!!!!!!"

 The muffin legion charges with unrivalled might! If only they'd waited for my command on what to attack, now they wouldn't be kicking and nibbling at random. The benches, the ship's remains, the Mongol Horde, the now-screaming Bo-Matoran and the Poké Ball he holds, Toa Matau's fleeing ankle and the gate it's fleeing through, all suffer the adorable yet eventually lethal might of my muffin children. KARDAS DRAGON bears witness to my power, for I mean no harm to it just yet.

 Do I smell, amongst the blueberries and vanilla, an alliance?

I'm Vrokdann in Skyrise: Ascent, and Luntep in the BZPRPG.

[sigfig in tunnel]

My profile pic's a cool little thing I made called Bettani. That thing up there's just a me inside a tunnel.

 

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Regaining consciousness yet again I find myself rather dizzy. You see, the mask didn't bother separating itself from me face before floating into the sky, spinning, and zapping a few hundred muffins. Resisting the urge to vomit (again), I try to will the mask to put me down. Like a child taking their first steps, the result is tragic failure. I smash into the ground for yet another round of brain damage. Eventually however, I manage to stumble to my feet, laughing all the way due to the tickles from the muffin nibbles. How cute.

Kardas, overwhelmed in the rush of muffins, mongols, and matoran looks around for something familiar, something comforting. (He did have a toa on his back just a few moments ago after all. That's pretty traumatic.) All at once, Kardas sees a physically and mentally broken figure with the mask of life fused to his head, holding a spear of fusion he stole from someone else, laughing maniacally. Could it be...?

Edited by kanohi of jello
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move along.

nothing to see here.

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The Bo-Matoran, panicking, begins instinctively punching at the muffin horde. At first, the attempt is pathetic. But slowly, the attack becomes undeniably more skillful. His fists begin to fly faster and faster, while the little bran warriors are knocked aside to the left and right with adorable little screams. Suddenly, a veil of shadow appears around the Marotan and lifts him into the air. His memories return, for he had forgotten who he was when he took up his disguise. 

 

He drops the Pokeball, and I, sensing the movement, drum my fingers against each other. "Excellent." The Pokeball hits the ground with a *thonk* and... does.... not..... open. 

I fold my hands, lips pursed. "Less excellent." 

 

The Matoran is completely hidden within the shadow. The skies fill with dark clouds as a deep and ominous voice resonates through the air with an evil laughter. 7 bolts of lightning strike at the heart of the shadow storm, completing the transformation. All is suddenly silent. Then, the Matoran emerges. 

But he is much changed. 

His once green armor is now red like the blood of innocents, his joints yellow like the cruel desert sun, his face white like the crushed bones of his victims. The greatest force of evil has risen once again.

Bad Guy walks the earth.  

 

 

I am very glad I am in my Pokeball. 

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MoarBotar's Pokeball is on the ground, with Bad Guy '06, the Mongols, and the Muffin Army bearing toward it.

As I listen to Lipuret's speech, I notice that a fishing pole has mysteriously appeared next to me. It may just be the thing I need to rescue MoarBotar. While I'm not very good at casting lines, I manage to get the fishhook at the end stuck in a crack between the Pokeball's halves. I begin to reel in my catch-of-the-day, even as the cavalry closes the distance to it.

RPG Characters: Explota Akkitu
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As Kardas is distracted by the Horde, he is suddenly paralyzed, hackers have shut his mechanical systems down. Meanwhile, a crusader army throws chains on Kardas to restrain him. Finally, I stand before kardas ready to deliver the killing blow. I say "There are a thousand ways I can kill you right now and 941 of them hurt".

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Kardas heaves out a mighty roar as whatever weapon you're using nears him. However, just as you are about to strike the killing blow, Bad Guy '06 comes rushing in to take the kill and the glory for himself. As a mighty battle between Alexander and Bad Guy '06 rages on, Good Guy, the Goodest of the Guys, looks down from above.

Kardas, while Alexander is distracted manages to break free and destroy most of Alexander's historical army. 

As for myself, I've been captivated by the battle that rages on around me. Eventually, I come to, and realize that a spear is coming towards my face. I instinctively raise my shield to defend my face, deflecting it. I put it in my bottomless inventory bag that I bought off of a Ga-Matoran for future use. It was then that I notice Laval, fishing. Really? At a time like this? Then I notice MoarBotar's Pokéball, and I suddenly understand. I grab my maxed out Minecraft fishing rod and run to his aid. In no time, we've pulled in our prize. I leave MoarBotar to Laval and run off to check on the others.

Kanohi of jello seems to be doing just fine, being dragged around by his face. I'm sure as heck not touching that mask. Good Luck, may Mata Nui and Good Guy be with you. 

It is only now that I truly notice the animate muffins that have been crawling around. They don't seem to be that difficult to deal with, a little bit of ice seems to keep them down. Their strength, however, comes from their numbers. I briefly consider why there are so many muffins around, then I recall the frenzied days in Laval's ship creating pans... upon pans... upon pans... upon pans of muffins to be shipped to MoarBotar, and I feel very tired just thinking about it. Come to think of it, wasn't there some sort of hierarchy or method to control these spiders? I heard Lipuret's speech to her muffin horde, but they were never given any real orders... There are now an uncomfortable amount of muffins surrounding me. I stop walking, and as I turn, I realize I'm now surrounded. Looks like this might require something a little bit different.

I bend down to touch the floor, the muffins eying me warily. None of them expect it as a sheet of ice spreads over the floor, encasing them and many of their brethren in ice. This is good- Except it keeps going. And going. Until half of the battlefield is covered in ice. This was entirely unexpected. I hope the sun comes back up soon... Otherwise, this could mean quite a bit of trouble.  

Part of the muffin army is out of the way, at least. 

Edited by Downfall
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Now that Downfall has helped me retrieve the Pokeball, there is one thing that must be done before MoarBotar can truly be "rescued:"

Getting him out of the Pokeball.

A simple task, right? Wrong. No amount of effort put into opening that Pokeball even comes close to being able to pry its two halves apart.

This could take a while.

Searching the battlefield for Downfall, I finally find him. He's busy coating the ground in ice, apparently to freeze the Feral Muffins. I show him the Pokeball and ask, "Do you suppose you could help me open this thing up? I've had quite a bit of difficulty doing so myself."

RPG Characters: Explota Akkitu
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Well, as long as we don't all slip, you should just be able to toss the ball into the air to get him out. Alternately, you could probably just smash the thing onto the ground and it might open. The surest bet, though, would probably be to confront one of these muffins and start up an encounter... within this encounter. Oh look! That screen flash means it's working!

Well, it could be a muffin, Kardas, or something else entirely...

Heh, well I guess that's that. Rolled a four, set as ???, which I guess means you encountered me. Well, at least we can open up that pokéball...

Or, you know, something completely random and unexpected could happen. You never do know.

@Laval- Master of Energy

Edited by Downfall
Die roll.

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I run away from the encounter. That ended better than I expected. Why didn't you try that?

Sure. Is there enough for all of us? I would also love to see the recipe. Hopefully, we don't get into a war with animate versions of those things, though. That would be fearsome.

Edited by Downfall
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Meanwhile on Mustafar, me and Bad Guy '06 just got finished with a duel that was a exact replica of Obi Wan and Anakins duel, with me being in Obi Wans position. On Earth a ion barrage disables Kardas again and an Acclamator fleet lands carrying the Grand Army of the Republic and the Jedi order who will hopefully end Kardas's reign of terror.

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What Skakdi? I don't see a Skakdi. I turn around and behold the white grin of Bad Guy '06, somehow completely recovered from his battle with Alexander. I run away right beside Laval, leaving the... thing... to be coated in the rapidly expanding ice. I don't think that will old him for long, though... I have my suspicions that the only person who can truly defeat this fiend isn't available right now... Nor will he be anytime soon.

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Dazed and bewildered, I shake my head (in a manner vaguely reminiscent to Boss Nass in the Phantom Menace) to clear the fog. I open my eyes just in time to see Laval and Downfall fleeing. Turning my head, I see the hordes of Jedi and Clones sprinting across the ice towards the raging Kardas. "Wow. Now would be an AWFUL time for someone to execute order 66..." I mutter to myself. Unfortunately, a nearby Clone Commander overhears me and (confused by my profile pic) salutes. "It will be done, my lord" he says as he signals the other Clones.

As I watch my unintentional genocide unfold, a swift kick to the face interrupts my musings. I look up to see the face of Bad Guy glaring down. The warrior is now clad in black armor and a black cape. He raises his red lightsaber and points up, directing my attention to Alexander's previous post in the feed: 

10 hours ago, Alexander123 said:

a duel that was a exact replica of Obi Wan and Anakins duel

With a gasp I realize that this is no longer Bad Guy, but a new and more iconic villain. This is VADER GUY! And Vader Guy seems to remember all the abuse I dealt him back when he was a Bo-Matoran... 

I quickly jump up and push Vader Guy onto the advancing ice patch, leaving him encased in the ice as I run after Downfall and Laval. Vader Guy's lightsaber quickly melts through the ice, freeing himself, and he begins running after me. 

As I run, I pull out my notebook and begin writing in it as I run. I do this for two reasons. First, I'm trying to think up some new plans to deal with the various new threats. Second, I'm trying to have more in this post than just bizzare star wars references. Third, I'm talking with Bizfig as I run, asking for the recipe and writing it down in my book as I go. 

 

...... What has Good Guy been up to all this time....?  

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The recipe I listed was not for non-sentient regular food... me and MoarBotar make the recipe to sustain ourselves, baking it quickly using the heated terrain of Mustafar, and mixing it on the go.

With MoarBotar assuming it was the same recipe as the one for the non-sentient regular food, the sentient irregular not-food came to life... for MoarBotar, it turns out to be a surprise to be sure, but a welcome one, and expected to be unsure, but an unwelcome expectation for Kardas....

Edited by bizfig
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 Well, this has been quite a mess, hasn't it? The unspecified location is now freezing, dark and cloudy. A promotional Dark Lord roams the land, and there's a lot of robes and lightsabers strewn about. Laval, Downfall, and MoarBotar run for their lives like The Doctor and her companions (who's The Doctor, I leave it to them). My muffins become ice scupltures to make Kopeke tremble. And KARDAS DRAGON overlooks all, immoveable. I stop meditating and angsting to go take back my place!

 From the melting burial of the Jedi, I calmly dig around, searching for a match to my personality. ...yeah.

 "MY CHILDREN, ALERT: THE CONFLICT IS FAR FROM OVER!" I yell, from the frozen ship's remains, to the surviving muffins and whoever dares heed, brandishing a lovely gray robe from a fallen sibling. "THIS BATTLE OF OURS, IT STARTED AS THE SIMPLEST MECHANICAL COMBAT OF ORIENT DIGITAL, TO REFORM INTO A TEXT-BASED APOCALYPSE! WILL IT EVER BE OVER? I CAN GUARANTEE IT WILL. BUT IT MAY NOT BE IN OUR TIME TO SEE IT, SO ALL WE CAN DO FOR OURSELVES IS TO SAVOUR THE UNSPEAKABLE NONSENSE LIKE THE ONLY PACK OF SPRINKLES OUR SALARY CAN AFFORD! SO THAW MY CHILDREN! THAW! AND LIVE FOR TOMORROW!" With a perfectly coordinated ignition of a purple lightsaber in my hand, the ground commences to quake! The muffins return!

 "Uh, just in case I wasn't clear, attack all that has not a username!"

I'm Vrokdann in Skyrise: Ascent, and Luntep in the BZPRPG.

[sigfig in tunnel]

My profile pic's a cool little thing I made called Bettani. That thing up there's just a me inside a tunnel.

 

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I return from Mustafar to my fleet. I see my forces in chaos and civil war I also see Vader Guy leading an army of clones turned stormtroopers and say to myself with a shudder "Always two there are, no more no less,". As soon as I say this a giant hologram appears in front of everyone. We see a familiar face, "Greetings", the hologram says "I am DARTH PLAGUEISS or as some of you may know me as MAKUTA TERIDAX, Kardas is my servant and I have manipulated your every moves, join me or die as I become a true emporer of the Multiverse!" I stay defiant and attempt to rally my loyalist forces.

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As muffins ravage the NPCs of this world, and Darth Guy blazes a path through them, one faction on this battlefield has a plan. The multi -pastries, silent though they may have been, have joined. Together, they begin their march of conquest.

Meanwhile, after awhile running from... I suppose everything, really... MoarBotar, Laval, and I stop on a ledge. How we managed to get here, I don't know. There isn't any visible way up or down. However, despite this, we have an amazing view of the battlefield. We can see the remnants of battles long past... As well as the shadowy figure controlling Kardas like a puppet. Come to think of it, I haven't seen him do much lately...

Edited by Downfall

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As we stand by the ledge of the cliff, a shadowy figure approaches. "Welcome, Laval, disciple of Chima. Welcome, Downfall, fearer of 07' Nuparu. Welcome, Moarbotar, son of... someone clearly strikingly handsome." As the figure approaches his emaciated red face comes into view. Before the wraith can say anything more, I yell out "I saw this in a movie once!", grab him by the waist, and hurl Red Skull off of the cliff. He screams as he falls:  

"Verdammt! Danke dumme kleine Scheiße!"

A beacon of light shoots into the air and the clouds swirl together. A lone tear falls from my face as I think of the thing I loved (his sick cloak), which I have now lost. Suddenly I find myself sitting in a pool of water somewhat removed from the battle. In my hand I hold the soul stone. I jump to my feet and yell out in triumph! "I hold in my hand the most ambiguous object in the universe!" I shake my glowy fist at Makuta Plagueiss in defiance! 

Unfortunately, since I don't see any Infinity Gauntlets nearby, I have no idea what this thing does... I sit down in the shallow pool to try and figure it out... 

 

Elsewhere, a wealthy couple are shot in an alley, leaving behind their newly orphaned, construction-based, extremely rich son to fend for himself in a cruel world....

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