This Dark Fluid Ocean (A Poem)

[21Boomerangs]

So, uh, this is a transgender poem, so if you don't like those, eh, might be time to have tea in some other topic? I saw that there were some strong trans peeps here so I'd thought I'd share some feelings.

not implying that all trans people feel this way, either. Enjoy. Artistic comments welcome too.

This Dark Fluid Ocean

I am a girl

Some girls are just born with this body

With these eggs and this tube attached

And it doesn’t matter what everyone else thinks

They are all deceived

I know who I am inside

 

Some girls

Go to restrooms with pants on the doors

That lie about their real identity

The world is lying to me

About who I am

But I know the truth

I am a girl

 

I wish I were so confident

I don’t really know

Who am I?

All these people seem to know

How do they know?

 

I stand here

I’m taking the 5:30 subway

Lost under this strange ocean

Agony

This massive indecision

Burning underwater and killing all the fish

A train passes by

Not my train

A boom thunders

A massive divine gavel

You are a boy.

 

I open my mouth

A silent scream

I pick up the knife

My train comes

I want to stab it

Through the judge’s eye

 

You don’t know who I am.

You have no right to make my future

Liar!

 

I feel my balls and chain

Weigh me down

A thousand stranger eyes

Rendering this deadly verdict

The one I have the brazenness to deny

 

I

am…

Whatever I am…

 

I want to slash off these body parts

To prove to God

And everyone else

The truth

I want to tell him

What he made

Who I am

And end this agony

Screaming agony

Forever

My heart clinging

To a metal pole

In a speeding train

In the dark