A BZComedy!

[CaT in Rogue]

Welcome to A BZComedy! This comedy has no point other than humor. Oh, and Bionicle sets taking over Antarctica. But that's not very important. Heave ho!

 

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• Chapter 1: Everybody loves Antarctica!

 

A long, long time ago yesterday, there lived a bunch of Bionicle sets in a warehouse in the deserts of Utah. Now, you may wonder, how on Earth are these Bionicle sets alive, and why are they in the desert?!

 

Good for you.

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"I'm booored!"

 

"I know."

 

"I'm BOOOOORREEED!"

 

"I KNOW! WE ALL KNOW! YOU'RE BORED!"

 

Such was the conversation between Tahu Nuva and Lewa Mata on this otherwise calm afternoon.

 

"Well, you haven't DONE anything about it!" Lewa said.

 

"Why is this MY problem?!" Tahu shot back. "The rest of us are fi-"

 

Tahu was interrupted by a scream followed by sounds of barking and chomping.

 

"MOST of us," Tahu corrected. "MOST of the rest of us are fine."

 

"Well, I DON'T feel fine!"

 

"Believe it or not, the world does not revolve around YOU, Lewa."

 

"Yes it does. Anyways, do you at least have any ideas?"

 

"Good grief. I don't know, maybe we could take over Antarctica or something."

 

And then, Lewa got an idea.

A terrible, awful idea.

Lewa got a wonderful, horrible idea.

"Shut up, it's a good idea!"

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All of the Bionicle sets had gathered into the center of the warehouse after word had reached them that Lewa would be making an announcement. Lewa walked in and pulled out a soapbox from behind his back, then promptly stood on it.

"Friends, fiends, and Jaller," Lewa began, "I have gathered you here today to make a very important anouncement, the likes of which hath never been uttered by man nor by plastic, by beast nor by fowl, by fish nor by nocturnal flying mammal, by Klingon nor by-"

"Get on with it!"

"Yeah, get on with it!"

"YEAH!"

"Okay, fine!" Lewa said. "You ever heard of Antarctica?"

"Yes." Turaga Nuju said from the back of the crowd.

"We're moving there."

There was much yelling and confusion that followed. Streets were destroyed, shops burned down, and ice cream manufacturers shot down with flamethrowers. You gotta admit, they were able to squeeze a lot of stuff in that warehouse.

"Calm down, everybody!" Lewa yelled.

A sternum flew past Lewa's face.

"I said CALM DOWN!"

Two legs and a magnet flew past his right arm.

"IF YOU PEOPLE DON'T SHUT UP IMMEDIATELY, SO HELP ME I WILL COME DOWN THERE, TURN YOU ALL INTO CHICKENS, AND MURDER YOU WITH MY AX SO I CAN HAVE FREE KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN FOR DINNER TONIGHT!"

"You're a Toa of Air." Teridax said. "How would you fry us?"

"We have internet access." Lewa stated. "There's enough flaming in video comments alone to burn down Mount Everest."

"That's nice and all, but how do we control this crazy mob?" Tahu Nuva asked.

"Oh, come on." Lewa said. "It can't be THAT bad!"

A sudden scream burst from the inside the mob.

"They're eating her! And then they're going to eat me! OH MY NUUUUIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!"

"Yes it can." Tahu said.

"Whatever!" Lewa exclaimed. "It doesn't matter anyhow! We shall leave immediately for Antarctica, and whoever joins us, joins us! Bionicle sets, AWAY!"

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NEXT TIME:

Bionicle takes over Antarctica! How will our heroes handle the ever-present threat of penguin attacks?! Stay tuned to find out!

[CaT in Rogue]

• Chapter 2: Mata Nui VS Fig Trees!

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"Is everybody moving in okay?"

 

After a few days of planning, puzzling, and then realizing that they could just have Botar take them wherever they needed to go using teleportation, the Bionicle sets had finally gotten to Antarctica, and actually managed to make a large underground base in the ice. Whether or not this involved kicking out a few penguins is debatable.

 

"Fine over here!" Tahu yelled.

 

"I think we're all good." Krika said.

 

Suddenly, sounds of yelling and smacking came from down the hall.

 

"Why does that always happen?" Krika asked.

 

Lewa ran down the hall to find Axonn and Mata Nui arguing in front of a fig tree.

 

"For the last time, I will NOT throw out my fig tree just because you don't like it!" Axonn yelled.

 

"Hold it, hold it!" Lewa said. "What the heck are you two arguing about?!"

 

"Mata Nui wants me to throw away my fig tree for some reason!" Axonn said.

 

"Oh for the love of-...Mata Nui, why do you want the fig tree gone?"

 

"Because a Fig Newton ate my parents." Mata Nui explained.

 

"...."

 

"...."

 

"What?" Lewa asked.

 

"Well, it makes more sense than a rhinoceros eating them, doesn't it?"

 

"No." Lewa said. "No, it doesn't. In fact, I think a rhinoceros eating your nonexistent parents would make exponentially more sense than a Fig Newton eating them."

 

"The point is, I want that thing OUT of here!"

 

"You know what? I really couldn't care less. You two sort out this...incredibly bizzare disagreement while I finish unpacking. Sayonara!"

 

With that, Lewa left the hall and restarted unpacking.

 

'After all,' He thought to himself, 'What's the worst that could happen?'

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"Figs!"

 

"Cherries!"

 

"Figs!"

 

"Cherries!"

 

"FIGS!"

 

"CHERRIES!"

 

Lewa woke up, startled. What the heck was causing all that noise? It was the middle of the night, for crying out loud!

 

'This had better be good,' He grumbled to himself, 'Or they're going to see exactly WHY I need so much sleep!'

 

Lewa put on his pink bunny slippers and walked down the hall to the central room to see what was going on.

 

"Keep it down in here, you mentally deficient Kikanalos!" He yelled, "Can't you see I'm trying to get someWHAT THE FLYING TRUCKSAUCE?!"

 

In the center of the room were two giant groups facing off against each other, apparently trying to get each other to back down by yelling at them a lot. However, neither of them seemed willing to comply.

 

"Okay, what's going on in here?!"

 

The two mobs looked at him for a second, and then went back to yelling at each other. Krika managed to worm his way out of the masses, however, and explained to Lewa what was happening.

 

"You see, Lewa," Krika started, "Sets have apparently taken to fighting with each other over what kind of fruit trees should be kept in the base, and have even started to refer to each other as the names of trees they support. The faction leaders are-"

 

"Axonn for Fig Trees and Mata Nui for Cherry Trees, right?" Lewa asked, facepalming.

 

"Well, yes, how did you kno-"

 

"Okay people, shut up and listen!" Lewa yelled. "We need to settle this once and for all if I'm going to get any sleep, alright?!"

 

"Well, you're in charge for some reason." Axonn said. "Just say what stays and what goes. Like figs. And staying."

 

"No way!" Mata Nui yelled. "We need to keep cherry trees! They're much better!"

 

"And what if I don't care, huh?" Lewa asked. "What then?"

 

"Then we fight to the death for the honor of keeping our trees." Mata Nui said.

 

"Bring it on, Kikanalo breath!" Axonn yelled.

 

"Challenge accepted! Cherry Trees, to victory!"

 

"Come on, Fig Trees! They may take our lives, but they'll never take OUR MARKETABILITY!"

 

"YAAAAAAA!"

 

"YAAAAAAA!"

 

"Stop, stop!" Lewa yelled. "Can't you see how pointless this stupidity is?!"

 

"What do you mean?" Axonn asked.

 

"Who gives a flying Protodite what kind of TREE we have as long as the fruit it makes tastes good?" Lewa pointed out. "And why can't we just have BOTH kinds of trees so we can HAVE more of the good fruit?"

 

Axonn and Mata Nui just stared at Lewa, then looked towards each other.

 

"You know what, Lewa, you're right." Axonn said.

 

"All of this fighting was entirely pointless and foolish." Mata Nui said.

 

"Great." Lewa yawned. "Now I'm going back to bed."

 

Lewa walked down the hallway as the two mobs went back to looking at each other.

 

"..."

 

"..."

 

"Is he gone?"

 

"Yep."

 

"TO VICTO-"

 

"SHH!"

 

"Oh, sorry. TO VICTORY!"

 

"YAAAAA!"

 

"YAAAAA!"

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Word count: 770

Edited May 5, 2013 by Kung Fu Rahkshi Destroyer