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  1. Blog Reporting


    In the past, before the upgrades and the downtime, reporting things in the blogs was a complicated mess of PMing BlogAlert, linking the content, describing the broken rules, and hoping someone read the BlogAlert account in a timely manner.


    NO MORE!


    The "REPORT" buttons on comments and entries DO WORK. Before the downtine, they did not. Now they do! Hurray!


    So, in short, if you have something to report, click that button, describe the offense, and a blog staff member will receive the report and an automatic link the the offending content. (Please do not use this to report signatures)


    This is much easier on us, on you, the general populace, and also on kittens everywhere.


    -The Blog Staff

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  2. 12 hours on flowers! The promised eternal imposters.


    Pattern made from tracing the real flower shape. Cut from two layers of cotton, prior fused with spray adhesive and ironed together. 

    Assembled with Tex 70 upholstery thread, just a few stitches, one bead and leaving long strings.







    Tacky glue, Mildly dilute. Thread tails taped to hangers to try. 

    Tied some to a twine vine. 



    And made a branch from a rejected electronic scalp massager (?…There are mysterious things in this house that I am not responsible for…) some leftover wing wire and paper tape. Cut 3/4” tan cotton strips, soaked them in diluted tacky glue and swirled to secure. Glued on the remaining yellow bells once firm. Finished the twine vine and branch blossoms off with a bit of acrylic base greenery.


    They’re weirdly plastic-like stiff.

    Throwback to when wet watercolor paper was the only thing I thought of growing flowers from.

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    There's a house we can build

    Every room inside is filled

    With things from far away

    B249F607-ABB1-4D15-B902-3A55E11EDC11.jpg.f28f03ce2094b7815835f8f7a2ecbb96.jpg FullSizeRender.jpg.dc15676a5f446e1e42b7059f1e176802.jpg IMG_4852.jpg.ade97e98e2b85eac647000b7ef1d133a.jpg 2827185E-E84B-4FF9-B513-530B7A2C9623.jpg.f0cc78a8a2cfc290d22313aa15976f1e.jpg

    *got too flower flinging happy and why did I not move the jar ~2" to the left to cover the outlet.*

    In between the cheerful chaos of my bro flying home, buying a car, flying back to the cold climate he dubbed “So much suffering”  for a couple days, returning here again by plane and yesterday cruising to the coast for the adventure of new employment, Twas time for our mom’s birthday enjoyment. Imagine living to be half a century! I used to want to be just a Jedi but now I hope to be a fraction as good as she..in addition to that.

     I owe her everything. For she’s kind enough to tolerate fittings, wears, and lets me cut her hair ( thanks to Free Salon Education on YT…..am I allowed to admit this now since it’s the post-Plague era? Still weird? :lol:).

     Birthday + Mother’s Day makes.


    Chestnut knit cardigan made from a jersey sheet and finished with petite pleats. 10hrs.

    *should have ironed it but photographed in the “wad & hide it, she’s coming!” mode*

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    Leather drawstring pants, 7hrs. Pinned on dress form because, little does the lifeless model know... she has absolutely no legs.


    Circular cut flounces and rolled edge hems.

    Aqua top -4.5Hrs.

    Navy one-4.5hrs plus probably x3 extra because it had to be redone. The fabric lacked stretch so the fit was funny. I pattern drafted off of a lycra reference garment, and, it being 3 am, in that thick state of painkiller proof exhaustion so lacking logic, I blindly cut out the thick textile and realized the tragedy too late.


    I cut out the side panels and live-human-fit Princess seam replacement panels on each side while apologizing profusely for the flop. Added two flounces on each shoulder, elastic waist gather at the back, and detailed with multicolor boho-style  thread “quilting” lines along the edges and ruffles-to hide the alterations.

    Fits now (too big on this dress form), but cannot say I’m guiltless over what the poor garment has been though. 



    French seams on all.




    ^ The low energy butterfly attempt.

    Unfortunately confusion proved contagious amongst the creations. 

    “Cakes have such a terrible habit of turning out bad just when you especially want them to be good” - Anne Shirley


    I have an explanation for its aesthetic. Not a good one, but a long one. 🦋

    The birthday and bro week:

    1: We had no idea he would be back so soon, so I flew into frenzied cooking, confection and bread baking mode.

    2:Our neighbor passed away, and a lightbulb moment of “I’ll bake 7 batches of cookies out of sheer ignorance of what else to do” flickered on. Then there was one other little thing, a drawing. Fast/rough 4x6, done in a two-day frenzy from a photo found via The Power of Googling Names to slip to them at one of the sad events.

    IMG_5178.jpg.7185fe34cd190ff649e67179c375ffff.jpg jeanie2(1)wtrmrk.jpg.c1c683759393b57f1a0eec2aed5d9e66.jpg

    3: I decided to make a double-batch/four layer/6.25” tall (when bald/without toppings) tuxedo chocolate cream cake since my bro was present…but without consideration of the 6.5” tall cake holder height.

    4: Aforementioned cookies used a profuse amount of powdered sugar, so barely enough was left for the buttermint dough butterfly.

    5: I figured out how to maneuver the wheelchair about the kitchen so I can take over the dishwashing and less grieve my mom! And any new unskilled work to crash between is craved for. Thankfully the stationary nature of cooking has steadily remained doable from a tall ordinary chair. A half-hour here, an hour there, If I rest, I writhe, to be busy is to thrive!..?

    6: As result of 1-5, I got terribly, flare-ably tired. 

    and thus, the cake decor did visually suffer. Sorry, Mom. Even though she didn’t mind 😭


    Good gift packaging is an art foreign to me, but perhaps it’s never too late to fumble about with fluff and feathers.

    (Any tips are appreciated from those who do such things better!)

    I never know how much content to carve into a blog entry, so I suppose I’ll lock the newers in a Doc, for the next chime of the clock?

    PS: Here is some no context yard nature.


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    [x6 speed]

    ... the clouds swirls are real but the colors are embellished.

    Okay, goodbye now!



  3. It's anything goes, let your creativity shine this year! Want to commemorate 20 yrs of Bohrok? Or celebrate Tahu's return? The choice is yours! 

    The winning design will be on T-shirts for BrickFair VA 2022!

    Rules: Your design must be a simple design, one color, and must be medium sized. 

    Your design must also be black on a clear white background. This makes it easier for the screen printing process.

    You may post your entries in this thread, and have until the end of May to submit your design.

    The Prize: The maker of the winning design will receive a free T-Shirt!


    The winning design will be chosen through a voting process of the members of BZP.

    Colors will be suggested and chosen by the members as well.


    Feel free to ask any questions if needed.

    That's all for now. Have fun, and good luck!

  4. :wakeup: <- now that's just me these days ^^


    Anyone else have a new favourite that they didn't like so much (or even notice, tbh) back in the day?

  5. hey everybody! I decided to visit bzp last night and was really happy to see a lot of familiar usernames. I joined here back when I was only 15 years old... I'm nearly 30 now, and looking at my post history on this account it looks like I haven't regularly posted here since bionicle gen 2 was coming out. I think the best part of checking around sites I used to frequent is seeing the familiar users getting into careers they enjoy, getting really into a new hobby, or otherwise just doing new things in life.

    So here's my question for everybody, whether you've been here a long time or not. What have you been up to since Bionicle ended? 

    As for me, I became a game developer. Not my full time gig yet, I'm working as a cook full time now too. Back during my teenage bzpower days, I always thought I would be a visual artist or novelist, but nowadays I'm way more into game dev and producing music. I can't link my project since it's fairly M-rated, but I have one game on Steam! My goal right now is to make a lot of little arcade projects in my signature garish grossout style.

    Anyway, this is me procrastinating. I should be programming right now, lol. Let me know what you've been up to! See you all around! ❤️

  6. Well yes, but actually no. 


    Technically, I made a "living card game" not a trading card game and (since I'm just playing testing right now) I'm using images from a variety of things I like.  I've made about 110 cards so far and above are the ones I've made based on things from BIONICLE.

    Right now I'm trying to figure it out how to put the game on screentop.gg so I can play with people online and then I might try and figure out how to do the same on tabletop simulator.

    The original inspiration for the game was Richard Garfield's original idea for "Magic The Gathering", a game you could play while standing in line for something.  So, that's the main selling point of my game, you "could" play it standing up, but I know if anyone really would want to.  My main design goals have been making a simple trading card game and one that improves on the things I don't like in several other games I play.

    Alright, that's all I'm going to write here.   Make of this what you will. 


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    When you read, your eyes look at symbols that stand for sounds, and those sounds represent concepts. Reading requires both of these events (symbols-to-sounds, and sounds-to-concepts) to take place. It happens so quickly, we can ignore the middleman if we want. Writing systems like Chinese are called logographies as opposed to true alphabets, because Chinese characters don't stand for sounds at all, just concepts. You have to learn as many characters in Chinese as there are ideas. English sometimes works like that. Consider the difference between to, too, and two. In this case, different sets of symbols all produce the same sound. The only option the English-speaker has is to memorize separate what spelling corresponds to each idea.

    This is a lot of work, and your brain is doing it all the time. It's doing it right now, in fact. On top of that, you don't remember the symbols you've read for the rest of your life. I'm reading a book right now, and I'm in the middle portion, and I don't recall exactly the symbols it opened with, and I'll remember them even less precisely by the time I reach the end. And yet, the thoughts it made me think remain in my head. I still know what the book is about. It's not as though I've never read it.

    Now we introduce a third (potentially fourth) stopping pointing in the act of reading: symbols correspond to ideas (through the byway of sounds), but those ideas in turn correspond to an impression. The impression, most often, remains in the reader's mind long after most, or even all, of the symbols and sounds do not. You cannot recreate the physical, indisputable elements of the book, but you can still say what it was about. How can this be?

    This is to say nothing of the nuances that exist even within the individual letters and sounds, and how many things even simple combinations can mean. This has been just a little look at the act of reading, provided to you by the act of reading no less.

  7. Big

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    Geez, that's a long time to be using one website lol.

  8. It appears that BZP makes a triumphant return.

    So, what have i been doing over the past few days?

    Well, i was surprised by the emergence of a new trailer for Kirby And the Forgotten Land, and even more surprised by the release of a 3 level-long demo for the game. The demo shows off new features like "Mouthful Mode", which you either love or hate. (I love it) The game really reminds me of Kirby's Blowout Blast, most likely due to both games having B I G  K I R B Y

    image.jpeg.45803330c82934b2b10231a7dffcc911.jpeg image.jpeg.86f7bd79cc2933dab891faccd49654cd.jpeg

    (Also, both are 3d)

    I've also been preparing for another Ye Olde Not-So-Good Film Review. 

    Uh, wow, that entry was a lot shorter than i thought it'd be. Oh well! See ya later!


  9. V-Dawg
    Latest Entry

    On Thursday, I went to the Orthodontist for what I thought was just a routine visit, but to my surprise they started taking some scans of my mouth, telling me it was for my retainer. And at the end of the appointment, I was informed that my braces would be fully removed at the end of the month!

    I started laughing with joy when I heard the news. One of the staff told me my laughter was contagious. That has to be one of the best compliments I've ever received.

    I've had my braces for almost 3 years now. They've become a part of my life as I've grown over that time. And getting them off reminds me of that, but it also reminds me of how much some things haven't changed.

    I've also already made an appointment with some friends to hit up a candy shop that day and get some of the things I've been missing out on for so long!

  10. Always wanted to get this one! An exclusive to Woolworth's containing comic #13, a rerelease of Vakama in polybag format, and an infected Hau Nuva. I believe it was produced to promote the Mask of Light film. This was the only one I could find on the internet:


    The box is opened, but at least that means we can have a look at the contents. I quite like the artwork on the polybag:


    Also found two of the three trading card games from the early years. All six boxes are still sealed:



    Curiously, both of these are printed in Canada.

    A few more items coming up!


  11. So let me start my story like any old man with an anecdote that doesn't really go anywhere.

    I was trawling through my old blog entries trying to find out when I got Pokemon Diamond. I'm playing Brilliant Diamond and I wanted to see if I wrote down anything about my initial playthrough of the game. Turns out, 17 year old me did not see that as something worth recording. :shrugs:

    Instead I seemed to be a little full of myself. A lot of the blog entries from that time are about my own fame and power on BZP, which in the hindsight of old age looks a bit sad and pathetic. Yeah, I definitely played it up a bit for laughs, but I have to confess that there was a bit of truth behind that.

    It's hard when you're seventeen and you have all these hopes and aspirations. At school, you're just a regular person, but on the internet, hey, you just make some funny Flash videos and write some silly movie parodies and suddenly you're someone special. Of course it would go to your head, you're still a kid. What do you know about power or fame? How could you possibly use those things responsibly? I wasn't even that powerful or famous. Imagine if I were a real celebrity! Yowza... :confused:

    For the most part, I guess I was well-liked. Certainly if I go onto Bionicle Discord communities, people tell me they have fond memories of some of the things I've done. So maybe I'm overthinking it, maybe this is just the imposter syndrome that we all have to face in adulthood.

    And things could absolutely be worse. You hear all sorts of stories about people who use their power and  influence to abuse and control vulnerable people. I definitely never did anything like that. I just made some blog posts that aged poorly.

    I don't think I'm a bad person now or that I was a bad person before, I just think it's interesting how my values shifted as I got older. Right now I am 31. I run my own business where I give children speech therapy.  “I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” That's my new aim in life: to help make other people feel good, not just myself. My power and influence speaks for itself, I don't have to brag about it on the internet, even as a joke.

    Thank you for reading this. I hope you managed to grow beyond the person you were at seventeen too.

  12. Edelgard
    Latest Entry


    On January 16th, a new and uncertain journey begins:

    There is nothing to fear.

    Welcome to Aaru. In this world, there is no magic. Nothing lurks in the shadows; there are no gods to rule your destiny. No Masks of Power, no Relics or Artifacts. Just people, living ordinary lives in the valley. Ignore the sounds of shattered glass; there is nothing to fear. You are safe in the light, by the warmth of the hearth. Live your perfect life. Do not look for answers, for you already know what you need to know. Live these good days.

    Do not seek out the Question.

    There is nothing to fear.


    And then...


    Later this month, a final stand will be made.

    All on Discord : https://discord.gg/4wYG8Xdg

  13. dviddy
    Latest Entry



    Maddison and I got married on October 2nd, 2021 in a very lovely elopement in the same city we live in, at sunset.

  14. It's Mask of Light, but all the Matoran on Mata Nui are on their own quests to find the seventh Toa before anyone else like It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World.

    Takua accidentally rides Pewku into a lake of lava and they both slowly become lava bones while Jaller waves from the bankside.

  15. 51523201867_6001e3bd27.jpg

    Severed are the seas.
    Stridently the Sirens sing,
    Shattering the earth.


    Some of the design is inspired by the Zaku mobile suits from Gundam. 

  16. So this is the end of my slog of prepared reviews to post.  I got a plethora of new sets from the Summer release, so I’ll probably look into reviewing those in the coming days, but there’ll be more time needed so it won’t be like I’m spamming the blogs too much.  Not that I think anybody’s really noticed or worried about that, anyway; it is kind of interesting that I used to gripe about all sorts of stuff here and now I mainly just stop by to post set reviews.  I do miss the days when there was a ton of content in the blogs, but alas times are changing and people are moving to other social networks.

    And I’m just as guilty of it, especially because I’ve been taking these mini blog reviews and reposting them on BrickSet.  I haven’t posted reviews on BrickSet in 8 years and they have a new system and everything. . . and yet I can skirt moderation because I posted so many CMF reviews (that were marked as helpful) there 8 years ago that I’m listed as a trusted reviewer.  I still plan to do the big in-depth reviews on BZPower when I have the chance. . . which I ended up doing for the Ninjago Hydro Bounty last week.  But I also like to give quick snippits on other sets without going the full mile I do for a front page review. . . and honestly nobody is seeing them here in my blog, but they might reach an interested audience on BrickSet, who’s inventory of sets remains one of the best on the web.  (Their opinionated member base in news comments. . . that’s a different story.)  Too bad they don’t seem to allow embedded Instagram photos, which is where I’m posting most of my picts for now.

    Of course, here’s the main event…


    265 pieces, $29.99

    More photos on (where else?) Instagram!

    This was not a scene I was expecting to be made into a set.  But given that Korg and Miek don’t really show up a whole lot of places, so it’s hard to find a set for them to fit in.  Something from Ragnarok, like the jail cells or rainbow bridge battle?  Boring or already done in a previous set.  They showed up in the final battle of Endgame but were basically just cameos, so if you’re going to get them in a set, might as well be in the one scene they were solely featured in.  And so thus we get Thor’s messy room, also known as “it doesn’t look that bad compared to my place, heck you can even see the floor in places!”

    First the figs.  You get three characters that are all exclusive to this set: Bro Thor, Korg, and Miek.  Bro Thor / Fat Thor shows him without a shirt and with a big belly, whose printing overlaps onto the hips (although the coloring isn’t great.)  It’s about the best you can do to showcase a chubby stomach in printed form; I would be tempted to suggest that they’d actually make an additional molded piece to create a 3D belly, like the fat-suit that Chris Hemsworth had to actually wear. . . but I guess that would be going a bit far for a humanoid minifig.  The head and hairpiece are reused from the other Thor figs in sets this year. Next up is Korg, who is wearing a festive tan skirt with his rocky abbs visible beneath it.  I think the headphones he comes with are supposed to be because he’s a gamer now.  His rocky hair piece is exclusive, I believe, and does a good job of recreating this character as a fig.  Miek was a bit more abstract of a character, so he only gets a printed minifig head atop a few studs.  The flower studs give him some added texture, but he remains quite simple.

    The main room is pretty cluttered for a LEGO model but has a lot of fun details hidden around it.  Pizza boxes litter the house, you have stuff like a frying pan, a whip, a pitch fork, an ore, and a shovel stashed on the walls.  There are seem to be two boat models; one on the shelf above the couch and one above the fireplace.  (Maybe they’re supposed to resemble something else, but I see them as mini sail boats.)  Strangely, there’s a barrel next to the fireplace that contains trans yellow tiles.  This is obviously supposed to be ale, but I find it kind of weird that alcohol is included in a LEGO set in such a way.  Maybe officially it’s labeled as lemonade?

    The couch is the most interesting build of the bunch, featuring a few SNOT techniques to create the cushions.  And then you have a lot of detailed stickers hidden around the model.  The TV (nicely placed at an angle) showcases the video game, where Korg seems to be a playable character due-wielding Stormbreaker and Mjolnir.  Noobmaster is making some comments on the side, and you even see the stud score at the top of the screen, representing many LEGO video games, even if that’s not exactly what they were playing in the scene, heh.  (It was Fortnight, right?  I dunno, don’t really have the time or budget for games like that.)  I don’t know if the number for the score means anything, it’s too long for the set number anyway.  A newspaper clipping is included talking about the blip. . . obviously New Asgard is old school if they’re still using print newspaper.  Somebody needs to build them a website.  The best sticker is the photo of Thor, Valkyrie, Korg, and Miek attached to the wall, a nice memento of their previous adventures.

    Once you’ve removed all the clutter, the room itself is extremely basic.  The walls use a mixture of different textured bricks to give it a rustic look, and there’s a little stove in the corner.  A fun bit of the design is cookie tiles and pizza slices are placed on the floor under other items like the couch, showing just how messy Thor has let his place become.  The exterior looks remarkably plain, but the door does open to let you in, even if the ale barrel blocks you from entering too far in.  There’s also a small signpost for New Asgard that’s supposed to be set up outside the room.  (Full disclosure; in the photos you may notice I’m missing one of the dark tan windowsill pieces.  It felt to the carpet while I was building, my dark tan carpet that it blends into too well, and for the life of me I cannot tell where it bounced off to.  So, alas, I moved forward without it.)

    I think the minifigures are the main draw to this set, and the other pieces don’t necessarily excite me.  There are a few fun sand green elements in the couch, and the walls used a lot of SNOT and masonry bricks which could be useful.  Oh, plus the angled door frame is here, which isn’t new but I still believe it’s uncommon.  The printed pizza tiles and game controllers are also a nice touch.  I could’ve gone without the treasure chest however; I’m not a fan of getting the bottom half but not the top half.

    It’s a solid display piece that captures a lot of nice details from the movie with some easter eggs hidden around.  The characters are great, but there’s a pretty big lack of action features here, so not really a set for playability.  I feel this is probably aimed to an older audience who want to collect the figs, but I’m sure any Avengers / Thor fans will appreciate this set for what it is.  And honestly, at $29.99, it’s on the cheaper end of things too.  I wouldn’t say that this is the set to represent the EndGame movie, but it will do a good job of supplementing your Avenger collection.  (And besides, we all needed an Korg fig even if we haven’t admitted it to ourselves yet.)


  17. As something of a realist, I knew going into this year that fangirl and fanboy pipe dreams of "The Return of BIONICLE" for the 20th anniversary was crazy talk. As much as I love the original run of BIONICLE from 2001 to 2010, there was no way in Karzahni that LEGO was going to revive the theme just for an anniversary year. It's a major one, but still. BIONICLE is done. No need to "continue" the story or reboot it (2015 and 2016 showed how poorly the latter went).

    My prognostication was we'd likely get something like a GWP or one-off trinket by the summer to commemorate the worldwide release of BIONICLE (Europe had the Toa and Turaga from the start of 2001, but the US and Canadian markets didn't see BIONICLE sets on shelves until July). On the lower end, I figured we might be lucky to see prints of, say, Kanohi masks on minifigure torsos scattered throughout CITY sets or sets from another theme.

    Then I found out about this "20 Years of LEGO Harry Potter" nonsense. Wow, I mean, I know LEGO loves money (and I write that realistically, with no chagrin or sarcasm), but Harry Potter is beyond a cash grab at this point. Especially considering several years went by when LEGO didn't produce a single Harry Potter anything. Why celebrate that, of all LEGO themes?

    But that's not even why I'm mad. It was the sight of a sticker on a piece in one of these anniversary sets that really spelled it out for me. In what looks like a star chart of constellations in whatever weird, transphobic, "magic" universe Harry Potter is set in, one of the designers snuck in a constellation that forms the shape of the Kanohi Hau, a symbol of BIONICLE as a whole.

    Great. Bravo. Slow clap. See that BIONICLE fans???? BIONICLE LIVES!!! Happy 20th anniversary! Watch my YouTube video to see how LEGO CELEBRATES BIONICLE - SECRET COMEBACK?!?!?

    Blood from a (Makoki) stone, people. I kept my expectations in check, but now, after seeing this "tribute" in one of the new Harry Potter sets, I'm beginning to wonder if I was the foolish BIONICLE fan too optimistic for LEGO to pay respects to one of the greatest themes they ever produced? Is this all we're getting for acknowledgment of BIONICLE's 20th anniversary? Or is there a leak to come of something just a tad more substantial?

    We can only hope. If this is it, though, it will be a very sad footnote to one of the best original stories I've ever heard and participated in. Reduced to a single image in a set celebrating the 20th anniversary of another, non-LEGO, IP.

    Well, there's always the 50th anniversary...

  18. Found these lil dudes on facebook marketplace, all sealed! Had to drive an hour to pick them up but I couldn't pass on them. I have probably quadruples of each by now I think? But having some sealed ones is pretty amazing


  19.  Tuesdays seem more tiring than Mondays in my opinion.

  20. pewpew.png.742733758d9244bdd6df532aee7c9b12.png

    So I saw this post elsewhere on the internet about a dude who bought so-so paintings from thrift shops and added Star Wars elements to them. My best friend (who sent me this mug from previous blog entry) came to surprise me right before COVID hit, and we went thrift shopping, and I got a painting (pictured above, but without the star wars stuff). Said friend was an art major in college, and now I have an awesome star wars painting hanging up!! Definitely going to treasure it forever. I love that the droid is picking the flower ^_^


    Update on the Ko-Koro Express - gift went over well, my folks loved it, but the pup, Dakota (sometimes goes by Dog-kota) felt insecure. But fear not, he was promptly and repeatedly assured that he is still a good boy, just sometimes a noisy boy. 

  21. Once something is close enough to pass through the skin, it enters the black hole in your chest that formed from the self-destructive weight of the questions that are at the end of their lives, as old as anyone has ever been, but also just as young as you. "Who am I?" "What is the meaning of life?" which invariably means, "what is the meaning of my life?" It is said to teach is to learn. How can you teach something only you will ever truly understand? With that in mind, how can you ever truly learn what you know?


    Suppose you are trying to describe a friend to someone else. You can use the words most of us would use; loyal, kind, funny (for some of them). You could very well go far, far beyond that. But what that friend is to you is something that can never be articulated fully because no one else is you. To anyone else that friend is just another person, or perhaps their friend, not yours. Once something is a part of you, you can only be and feel it, never know it, because the black hole questions will never stop sucking you in.


    I can describe my childhood home to you, can draw a blueprint for you. I can tell you that my room was blue and had a window looking out on the street, and right outside was the staircase that led down to the front door. I can even tell you how that scared me as a child because on nights when I couldn't get to sleep and heard things going bump I'd imagine some axe-wielding madman would kick in the door and come right up and chop me to bits first. But I can never make you understand what it was to me, what it was to live there. It's in my bones, not my head. If I break off a piece of me and give it to you, it will wither and die.


    I could, however, tell you in no uncertain terms what the home of someone I know is. I might not remember how many chairs are around the kitchen table or what color the walls are, but I could tell you what it's like to be there, what's on the air. How it feels in that house. That place is nowhere near the event horizon.


    This trick works for people, too, and the further they are from you the sharper the image is. I can tell you more about a stranger passing on the street from the way they walk, how they carry themselves. What they wear and how they speak, what's in their eyes. Do they grimace or just roll their eyes when they step in that puddle? When I look at my dearest friends the lens is blurry with love and years of memory. The woman opposite me in the waiting room is a neon sign.


    We grasp and flail through our lives and anything we manage to grab ahold of is brought in close, too close, lost and kept forever. You will never stop asking who you are, but people on distant and lonely planets of their own are putting together the puzzle of you. The further from your reach they are, the bigger the piece they've got.


    You may stumble through darkness, but know that in the telescopes of unseen strangers, in untarnished clarity, the real you burns.

  22. The fire that was threatening my local area is mostly contained. Actually it has been for two weeks or so. Evacuation orders are probably almost entirely lifted by now except for some small area. So that's mostly good. It did not come without losses for many people, though.

    But it's California, and we're a box of matches when it comes down to it. Hotspot detection satellites are lighting up the state like a Christmas tree. That's why even though we (folks in my area) aren't being immediately threatened by fires, we're still breathing near toxic air, ash is falling down like a light sprinkle of snow, and everything looks like Las Vegas from Blade Runner 2049 (which, not fun fact, the look was inspired by this very phenomenon). And many, many people are still being threatened by fires.

    And we aren't even in fire season yet. October is when we start to see stronger winds, when things can get really bad. But, then, at this rate, what will be left to burn?

    What a miserable end of summer.


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