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Reporting In The Blogs *updated*
Blog Reporting
In the past, before the upgrades and the downtime, reporting things in the blogs was a complicated mess of PMing BlogAlert, linking the content, describing the broken rules, and hoping someone read the BlogAlert account in a timely manner.
NO MORE!
The "REPORT" buttons on comments and entries DO WORK. Before the downtine, they did not. Now they do! Hurray!
So, in short, if you have something to report, click that button, describe the offense, and a blog staff member will receive the report and an automatic link the the offending content. (Please do not use this to report signatures)
This is much easier on us, on you, the general populace, and also on kittens everywhere.
-The Blog Staff
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Wizards in Winter
Welcome to Bambi's Winter Wonderland! Woke up to see a nice layer of ice covering everything, so I decided I'd try and take a few pictures.
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Big Ole Cold Snap
The polar front jet is taking a bit of a trip down to Texas and through the South letting all that nice frozen air slide right through about 50% of the country. Should be a good time if you like to freeze your booty off.
In other news, writing, working out, and reading is going well. Can't complain there.
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Decimating December
Well, I at least feel like I got decimated. Only second part in this series so I don't know if I'm supposed to have an intro, but here we go.
What I Consumed:
I started doing this in November, but last month I finished rewatching all the "scum and villainy" episodes of "Star Wars: The Clone Wars". I've always believed that a show like the crime and bounty hunter focused episodes of that show would be the greatest show of all time. Rewatching with a critical eye made me realize two things: 1) a lot of the early episodes of that show weren't...great and 2) Westerns, gangster films, and other similar genres inspired these episodes. This was all part of research for a project that I may or not may have put on the back burner now, but still fun.
I watched "47 Ronin" that Japanese historical/mythological action movie from 2013 starring Keanu Reeves. I remember watching the trailer before it came out and have wanted to see it ever since. It was very mid and I'm struggling to think of anything I really liked about it. I did some digging and apparently the studio meddled with it to the point it became a disjointed mess. C'est la vie, I guess.
I randomly got suggested this video called "Harry Potter Is Also Ableist". Now, I've never heard of this channel before and I've never read the books and haven't seen the movies since they first came out (borrowed the DVDs for the first five from the library), but I still love the character Luna Lovegood. Thus, I only watched the portion about how Luna is 110% autism coded. In fact I was probably watching it twice a day for a whole week and will probably watch it again after posting this.
I reread "The Granger Girls" by Lara Jane Robinson one of my favorite books I've read in the last few years and I like it more now (4.5 stars vs. 4 stars). I won't say what I think about the book here other than I really like it, because I'll probably post about it in the last book you read topic. Although, honestly since I need to write a review for goodreads, I'll probably just post it to both places and maybe link it here if I feel like it, I don't know*. It's probably been awhile since I read a book twice let alone in the same year, but since my computer was still broken and I wanted to read more print books, my eyes kept going to my signed copy of this book on my shelf.
*11 days later: link to review in said topic.
What I Made:
I made these Christmas cards for my family; some have funny drawings in them.
Also, I made an ecard for my friend's birthday. What's weird is, last year, I knew it was their birthday and I debated DMing them a happy birthday message, but got distracted and blew it off. This year, I started getting images for the card in late November and as soon as I got my new computer I made it in ellacard and had an agonizing wait until this month until I could finally give it. They actually really liked it!
My writing marathon bombed due to poor planning, no other excuse, but I did write 7200 words, which beat my old record of words written in day. Yeah, waking up at one in the morning, eating mostly candy, struggling to came up with a plot on the spot, not a good time. I think I listened to all of Lindsey Stirling's discography except for her new album though. Still working on it at a slower rate.
What Happened:
Got a new computer to replace my old one and over the last few weeks I've slowly realized how much stuff I lost in the crash and I'm trying my best to live with that.
Holidays felt busy. I think it was Christmas Eve 2020 where after finishing work at Fedex, I sat in my car in the parking lot and cried while listening to "Too Sad To Cry" by Sasha Alex Sloan (yeah I know, going against the title of the song my bad). Well, this Christmas Eve I laid in bed (despite saying I was going to get up) and listened to one of Chxrlotte's classic sad songs on repeat. I can't remember which one though, probably "Don't Save Me". Yeah, the days before my friend's birthday were not very good. I guess despite what I wrote last entry, some things never change.
What's Next?
I've had two chances to post this somewhere, but passed up both so I'll do it now. If I get asked what my new year goals are, I'm just going to quote "Hot Wheels: Battle Force Five":
"I don't plan that far ahead; speed, power, and attitude, dudes!"Anyway, writing is going to be...interesting. Going to promote and record a Creepypasta. Want to revise and publish a short story, but got to figure all that out first. I wish I didn't also have to try and write a book while doing it, but that's what I get for failing my marathon.
Got to download Lightworks on my new computer because it's time to get serious about starting a Youtube channel. I remember as a teenager wanting to be a Youtuber, but I never did it so we'll see how that goes. Life's funny like that.
Yeah, that's as far ahead as I'm going to plan. See ya, next time.
-JAG
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Latest Entry
Winter Wonder and Wack -Back to a Blog Attack!!
Back to backlog blogging! Because BZP has kindly yet to stop me? *mildy crazed laughter mingled with “JUDGEMENT SHALL COME” doomfeeling*
This is junk from January, trying to get through the horrifying amount of unedited art content from this year hahaha (*glances in terror in direction of digital doors bending at the baseboards with brain-lost bounty*) but posting it here helps somehow compartmentalize memories. It’s a profound blessing to have returning ability to do things! And I’m now in an awkward web of burying myself in new projects while trying to fully bury a few in the halfdone project graveyard. Are you just ever so excited to feel ✨kind of alive✨ again…and have no idea what to prioritize? because of the strange luxury of not being severely thrown by symptoms every second of your day?
Right now tis still Xmasgift making/baking/wrapping rush!
under TWO WEEKS until XMAS
and ze MomFam gift delivery is done, at least!
(But these are winter decors/celebrations to us given that we are that one weird *all neurodivergent Christian family who holiday history researched a little too hard, abandoned a lot of stuff like Christmas trees, specific dates, and became home religious celebration hermits and had no close family anyway, so I don’t think there is any real date-rush, haha! When will pro-poker bro show? We still don’t know. 😂 Perhaps Christmas Eve, unplanned… like last year?. When he majestically announced “totally forgot the address, somehow got here by ear 😎”
Neurodivergent fam members, always there for you …even if they can’t quite remember *how* they got there…or when they were supposed to. Or birthdays. Even their own. 😂❤️
*[yes, Mom has recently realized she too is undiagnosed female ADHD+likely autistic and that’s why she’s always been a *Cool Weirdo Mom- after in late 2022 I was like “ MOM I’m ?autistic and nobody noticed because: GIRL, chronic illness isolation, homeschool” Genetics! So the family mysteries are unraveling-about why she married a clinical narcissist, was unable to escape/ get us out of that bad situation, and I why had to barely drag us out instead [I being the only one my dad couldn’t isolate her from\get rid of] while she continually got stuck in trauma freeze response. Life is a lot better with understanding, giving thanks.*contextual example of Cool Weido Mom: that time she ordered the stuff to make iodine at home and she and bro were out there on the deck like mad scientists mixing it up. Twas a grand success and one of those hilarious “if we tell anybody we did this, they’re probably going to call the police thinking it's highly illegal, haha” fam stories. Just like the time Mom ordered water kefir grains, they were incorrectly delivered to a neighbor, and the lady opened the envelope and came over acting SPOOKED thinking it was some illegal crystallized drug. It’s not like we didn’t tell her what it actually was, she just didn’t seem to believe us. We laughed so hard about that one later.]
Also, I edited the last entry with this (I also would like to say I’m a constantly pothered pseudograndma at the cursing content of modern music and looked up the sanitized version of that song (having heard an instrumental cover prior and thinking it fitting for this situation).^^
:
(her inaccurate notes VS a few of my actual diagnosis in the mychart, and where the independent MRI was done:)
So yay! The hydroxy-crisis was averted without my mom synthesizing questionable-quality citrus alternatives, haha-or going MOO DENG. So happy!
This experience thoroughly proved the need of hydroxy, and how, for whatever reason it immediately aids in my conditions unlike is expected when prescribed for ordinary autoimmune disease. I lacked it for a week.
Results!:
“Diagnosable” (126+ fasting) diabetes each day (like 15-20 higher than current prior normal)
Immediate after-first bite of food GI fluid loss for hours.
Splitting Headaches and inability to sleep
Severe joint and spine stiffness/pain/shattering sensation. Also the visible lumbar spine swelling flaring profusely. Also rudolf-red.
New pre/hypertension progression.
Small fiber foot neuropathy very angry.
And me getting a covidlike flu fever with hypoxemia for over two weeks because apparently this drug is my immune system in pill form.
A weekish? back on it and some of these horrors are lessened /have subsided back to baseline. Mostly. Still higher blood sugars, but so grateful for my DRUGS hahaha.
The hypoxemia weirdly has lasted…and apparently it gets through my ?ASD sensory oblivion when it drops below 90% and I flop over like “wow Mom i think I’m suffocating” haha. Yay for the finger crocodile because otherwise I’d have no idea what was happening.
I don’t know if this is a certifiably true story, but I absolutely relate to the Epictetus leg break tale/quote in life.
The knowing some things are bound to happen-but having your hands tied and eyes wide (especially with some sadly arrogant doctors):
"there you are, did I not tell you that it would break?"
Just the unsurprised resignation in the tone. And the grand reward of foresight being nothing but broken bones. 😂 🤦♀️
In other news, my two pituitary MRIs were supposed to be December 11, but on the eve-eve of this event, a nurse called saying insurance approval/paperwork was taking longer than expected, so tis rescheduled to January 10ish?
Honestly I’ve been so weak off plaquenil, I’m not sure how well I’d react to the MRI contrast right now. Disappointing, but trusting the timing! I mean if there’s something monstrous in there it’s not going anywhere, haha. I never get hopeful for findings via scans, etc. Just reading stats of how often tumor/structural stuff is missed, misread, and knowing how many other diseases can present similarly. My mom always gets her hopes up for tests finding stuff, then crashes in disappointment at the dead ends. I learned to cope by expecting nothing, then am thrilled by the instance of actual diagnostic findings!
I have been meaning to blog here ~1x week until I get through my 2024 amnesia content I can only half-remember, haha. Because infodumping it all here shall then force me to upload and organize the rest, I guess?! I hope to get back to that but soon ~bro bash~ should get me behind again because buzzzy bee-ing intensifies amid holiday happenings! Been behind because busy season!.
WHAT EVEN IS FREE TIME? How do other people have time to watch tv, game etc? Where do you find the time? Also 8-10 hrs sleep per night now is glorious, but RIP to ~UNEARTHLY EARLY HOUR~ art endevours. ;_;
SO MANY PSEUDOGRANDMAING THINGS TO DOooooOOOOOOoooo
(Two days ago chaos example. Just night prior finished weekly cleaning, thenCookNook updates- new old glass spice jars procured and finally carpet tiling the box holders (because working with ~free trash~), then next day, mom off day, started with cooking, then measuring for dry good shelving given grid-down/emergency/EMP/nuclear war/famine prepping return. Then sawing CookNook cabinet peg leg. Then Walmart online grocery ordering (for mom to pickup) of stable goods we eat and now we’re slowly stocking up on. Then putting swingbuddy box back up! Then stagger-dragging garden rocks, fences and pots back to normal spots post generator hiding during Helene, haha. Then eating my daily meal and swinging 1.5 hrs to get that glucose into my cells.Then sewing amid the busy. Then dishes, more cooking for mom brunches through the week, prepping the next day’s french press coffee and creamer mixes, broth soups, portioning my meds and fiber in muffin cups, and doing the table setting(wrapped under handkerchief overnight). Then Mom got back with the huge dry good/food order pickup and wood for shelves. So after a few hours I finally got the stable foods all jarred/stored and then went to chop cabbage salads for us for the next few days, and majestically wheelchair fell over at 10pm with major splitting headache and spine puffing painfully. BUT GOT THE THINGIES DONE YAY. And my mom was doing stuff like insulating the AC, under the kitchen floor and calling lawyers/investing people all day. We are like “maybe we can watch a movie/rewatch a parade one off day” then this is how it goes when it’s not a doctor appointment day. Where do the hours go, hahaha? WHAT IS FREE TIME?)
must finish mom winter coat gift but blogging now instead and thread tying off bro shirt gifts
then cooking & baking for the next week & laundry tomorrow
EDIT so it’s a day later and those last 3 are done 6hrs later haha.
Freezer portioning the pressure cooked nightsoaked legumes and grains (makes it a ferment/become resistant starch!) freezing the bean broth for reheating, salad dressing for mom (she can digest oil and more sugar), mixing shelf stable icing, cooking tomorrow’s Asian dinner, Baking in small batches(toaster oven)- overnight baugette dough cutttable crackers, quick coffee cookies, cinnamon yeast oatbread nests of applesauce, etc etc. a lot of stuff!
Also this is how I’m managing the meal storing now. a ~week of meals there in the chest freezer. Below that one layer, there are dozens of jugs, bottles, etc of frozen drinkable water. For power outage insurance/buying time prior to generator startup.
Does anyone else bury-themselves-breathing in the ✨warm laundry✨ and fold for escape?
Then after I do the stuffs, maybe I can actually finish that hummingbird painting I got too violently ill to finish for Mom in 2023?!?
Or try to start the three embroidery stocking designs that 2023 was too intense to allow me to make?
Also I need to write the greeting card recipients down so I can not double send them out in case of extras 🙈🤶
SO EXCITED woOOOoooooOoo
*spins in ✨disabled workaholic✨madness*
i was supine for a full 40mins yesterday and i am very proud of my self care skills
certainly through this my spine should be healed
very strongly restored i do expect
i didn’t choose the self sabotage style here
it’s the SurVIBE
~when ur lone caregiver fammember human works full time so u became the feral unhinged psuedograndma caretaker of the home~ edition hahaha
Also random thought, but I’m hoping if my spinal edema is a progression to some sort of spinal cord injury, that the goat dewormer/FenBen might be helping- Given this rat reaction to such treatments? https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4048737/ I mean, I’m taking it for Joe Tippens reasons/possible carcinoid/pancreatic/VIPoma/NET tumor/the continued suspicion from my own research, then also from my allergist without me stating my suspicion, then ER drs, and endocrinology (and my negative/triggering new/circa 2020 reactions to Epinephrine and positive reactions to octreotide to treat/treated the ?carcinoid crisises. That coupled with my pancreatic polypeptide +TTG, & cortisol elevations and ongoing occult (likely small bowel) GI bleeding that remains unsolved).
My Son’s SwingBuddy Box- back up! With less paint and more mountain view than in 2022. So I can stare at his loving little soul as I swing, haha!
Wreath made by aunt Jane! The strawberry thrills me(and he!)
Anyway, onto the OLD art and ect! I’m not able to 100% guarantee I could bring myself to reread, so apologies for the unhinged hollerings that live rent free in my head. And now perhaps in yours too?!
Will IG embeds ever be fixed? I'm afraid to officially ask. Or am I just doing it wrong like the other 90% of things I do? That’s why i’m linking to them because excess pics.
Can’t remember what I’ve written here and embarrassed to reread, but whatever, haha. A bonus of ✨bonus time✨/dozens of duels with death is: apparently a jolly, perhaps grotesque, over-genuinity?🙈🙏🤷♀️
My entry design done for the BZPower/ @bzpgram 2023 Brickfair Tee shirt. “ “The Great Wave off Ga-Metru” Made in Pixlr E, using transparent layers, pen + paint tool and shape tool over a pasted together mess of Hahli Mahri’s delimbed hovering torso, Ga-Metru’s symbol …and….well…initially a generic wave swirl…that got happy-accidentally replaced with a vector of The Great Wave off Kanagawa …thanks to bumping into this Pixabay image and chasing it like a butterfly… Also, not clear on why it resembles a Caduceus. ~27 Hrs total -the internet and brain undeniably lagged after layer #484 Sorry if the Bionicle bits are inaccurate, dark reference photos & no physical set for reference. Or it there is some gigantic error in this I’ve neglected to detect…” Thanks to BZP for hosting! And Staff Xccj for aid in design idea plotting!
https://www.instagram.com/p/C6MHYD6MYwB/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
Me and my bro, as baby snowmarshmallows. Photo size- 3.5x5 ??? hrs. A clipboard creation done mid med episode, in September social security offices and at last finished after holiday chaos lying on the couch! 😂I think I remember that snowday. Mom made Swiss Miss! she’s pure sweetness. Done for her, to slip into her thank-you-for-Christmas-gifts Koi Boy Joy card(soon to post, haha). She works so hard and has the biggest heart. ❤️
https://www.instagram.com/p/C6MIoQesAvO/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
hanks cards! Koi Joy Boy! From late 2022 paintings for Mom. ❤️ Sunny send outs as thanks cards for Christmas gifts + extras for my mom/the stash. Laminated my printed paintings prior & had the thank you calligraphy already drawn out, copied and cut. Origami paper and exceeding thank to Mom for providing Pastel papers! 15 min Spent making each card (assembly after printing/ laminating/prep work). Made 18 and this one extra little thankful green bunny one that I forgot to add a pic of hahaha *please forget if any viewer ever receives this in the future* 🙈
https://www.instagram.com/p/C6MKBjmsG4V/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
That aforementioned one extra little thankful green Bun. Leftover laminated 2022 drawing and scrap poly done from craft trunk scraps, haha. *please forget if any viewer ever receives this in the future, also sorry for my impaired craft quality, haha*
https://www.instagram.com/p/C6UOM34u-ow/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
½ : Gifts-January: My honorary Granny at age 17. We hadn’t any grandparents close and she sweetly adopted we three, my brother, mother and I. 5x7? Or 4x6? 6hrs drawing time, not so detailed given soft antique photo scan reference. Done to give her daughter after the funeral in January. She lived to be 95, I believe.. (math maddens me, hehe). With some lemon sunny honey cookies, of course! Baked in my little #cooknook and a batch for my mom as well. Lace Japanese-inspired gift fabric wrappings I made from the factory-shutdown swatch scraps I was gifted by kind Ms. Robin. In 2021 or ‘22? I give thanks for so unexpectedly receiving a lifetime supply of lace! I miss her and that old factory storeplace. ❤️
“I thank my [edited for BZP] upon every remembrance of you”.https://www.instagram.com/p/C6UTPuruQWi/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
2/2 : Gifts-January: drawing wrapping and some lemon sunny honey cookies, of course! Baked in my little #cooknook and a batch for my mom as well. Lace Japanese-inspired gift fabric wrappings I made from the factory-shutdown swatch scraps I was gifted by kind Ms. Robin. In 2021 or ‘22? I give thanks for so unexpectedly receiving a lifetime supply of lace! I miss her and that old factory storeplace. ❤️
https://www.instagram.com/p/C6UTcp7O8bO/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
Angie Lee Angel! A doll drawing! January 16? For a thank you card! I tried to scan the original but found later, after sending the original laminated, that it didn’t work/save at all. Oh well. . So, the best images I have of it, turned into a quick pink thank you card.I am so grateful for the gift of this Angel doll from daughter of my honorary granny (maiden name was Lee) so I named her Angie Lee Angel in Granny’s honor. It means so much, this gift, as my granny gave me a porcelain Angel doll when I was a wee child that I cherished, but heartbreakingly lost when we had to escape my dad in 2022. I keep telling mom how happy I am that God gave a Granny-gifted Angel back to me ❤️ the doll went to the ER with me, after we were treated to my first restaurant visit in 6+ years. It was such a grand occasion for me medically, I couldn’t eat for days prior to make it there/just was so sick then. So great despite the disaster and aftermath month after! [BZP Edit] is good, so are burgers and doctors! ❤️😂🙏 ….Restaurant, ribs and emergency rooms! I learned it’s possible to be backed up to one’s ribs in spite of chronic fluid loss, and that Lactulose doesn’t work for me and engulfs my brain in lethargy. Recovery from this ER visit took a long time and months of glass-shard sensation from eating and drinking, given the repeating rib blockage. Grateful for somewhat better management of this with bottles of magnesium citrate, senna tablets and fiber supplements. I’ve found that my chronic fluid loss is far superior to rib backups, because at least I can continue to eat! Thanking the lord for the mercy of human adaptability, my hermit-like nature not caring to leave the home anyway, & modern medical devices… made primarily for old people. 😂🙏https://www.instagram.com/p/C6UmRwQPOS5/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
Amber! A “Graphite Bite- 3x3”. 4hrs. Pencil, mech pencil on watercolor paper. Sealed with spray fixative. An unpermitted portrait of her, because I’m afraid I’ve a knack of stealing people’s pet pictures (no Story on IG is completely safe…) for models and sending the sketches back like an awkward-art-attack! Thanks to all who’ve tolerated these takes, though full of artistic mistakes! Drawn on a clipboard in November when falling deeper in disease than I ever believed, something about sketching so soothes my soul. ❤️
Many thanks to @xccjason for allowing sketch sharing of so shy a model (and for absolutely making my day by showing the enlarged print framed!)!
https://www.instagram.com/p/C6UqAUsMgf2/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
I’m a bit afraid to post this drawing here in case it isn’t wanted by the skilled model and celebrity member here, so not knowing, I shall link instead!https://www.instagram.com/p/C6VkDUTuZ6e/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
1/2:Cook Nook Cart!
🎶Hey, it’s Franklin🎶 Refashioned With Paint pen! 🎶Harbor Freight Again🎶
(Swipe for that to make any sense-Does anyone else remember that sweet show with the six year old turtle? 😂)
After the holiday horror of my Misfit Meadows medical struggle, my mom got a gadget to make my life easier (when wheelchair houseworking). Enter: The Cook Nook Cart! A highly useful Harbor Freight find! -Redesigned! Grandmacore gingham galore, haha. Made to match my CookNook( soon IG will see its looks, tis in my mess of projects to edit)Glue and mat removal, wrapping the bright blue rubber band in ripstop strips (matching CookNook curtain), replaced the mat with a piece of cut up Black Friday banner tarp plastic from HF store display discards. Then took my leftover paint pen from gift wrap making for detailing done in Rapunzel/tangled type style . Wrapped the pressure pedal for flipping bar down with old clothesline rope and added the little fabric decor bits and made baby magnet bundles to add on. The scalloped white borders are cut from a shower curtain.
Cook Nook Cart has stolen my heart! I use it to hold, fold and ferry laundry, food prep work brunch plate-packs for my mom, freezer retrievals, and unload the dishwasher onto it and roll about refilling the cabinets with it! Also to drag to the door when mom kindly uploads the glorious groceries. Highly recommend such an invention to any wheelchairers doing chores! And thanks to my thoughtful Mom galore! #grandmacore
https://www.instagram.com/p/C6dB61qsCrK/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
The CookNook Cart 2/2: My alien children stealing a ride with some Xmas gift socks because ✨why not✨ and slides of me being happy about poor people pseudo-baseboards fashioned and temporary glued into the puppymill kitchen + purple cabbage for the Win! Forgot it existed so one must celebrate by absolute accident matching it! 😂
https://www.instagram.com/p/C6dB88xMKG6/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
Just January learning living, spampics, and the first snow at Misfit Meadows! And basically being a happy weirdo 😂❤️.When my weighted sleep mask burst, bouncing bitty beads about, M’boy got some muscle mass (or got a bit more adorable baby bumpiness?), haha!.(Meaning an internal plush weight. Made from mask, old socks and some heavy metal brackets of sort that someone (exdad) apparently pocketed from from work (and I wasn’t aware!). He’s nearly three pounds now! They grow up so fast, awww…haha! Had my alien son since 2020 now( thus he also got a much needed magic eraser cleaning). I’ve never loved a doll so before. Also,to further solidify my status of cheerful weirdo: I never openly posted pics prior, but in 2022 fleeing home abuse, I concocted a secret superglue Velcro pouch in the back of this very baby Yoda doll for my mom and I to place the “burner” phone in while escaping. That made the perfect place to put this weight! Grateful for the luxury of not needing such a thing in this fine life of freedom we’ve been blessed to see! I also discovered how to carry my son on the back of my wheelchair 24/7, balconied in the little bag from his little sister Luna( my from 2023 gifted other alien friend. The methods of his wheelchair perching have been since these pics actively evolving, haha.
Been very blessed with these two baby alien children. 😂❤️ also, was 1 happy vintage psuedograndma over learning my new hankerchief hat matches my Russian robe dress gifted from grandma, haha. Plus our first snow since living at Misfit Meadows! ❤️✨
https://www.instagram.com/p/C6dCF-4spFi/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
Sorry this isn’t real art content, but 🤷♀️) little felt handsewn goat plush made by a wee me for the doll @lottie_dolls . Had to drag it back out given the context of my current alternate medications. One day, if this treatment proves a continuing success, I hope to elaborate on that. 😂Slide for pics to prove I quite unbelievably survived beyond 2023 and SMILING! Haha. And because I was awake in the day(!), wearing my fave curtains + soft suede stringy key from barnfinds, penny + bell necklace (?girlautism=I don’t like jewelry but like jingling and weird things), so was like why not celebrate?!? With my alien children too, of course, hahaha! https://www.instagram.com/p/C7kIPI8Pafj/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
1/? Somewhat miscellaneous January post ER shatter content I enjoyed making during this new thrill of living-and eating- a lot more than before-like a real and happy human! AKA more learning-living with Mom at Misfit Meadows, in our odd little existence. So far that’s what my year has been, a blessing of little lessons on how to human( ✨disabled edition ✨). I was doing art at the best capacity I could in this era of swinging between life and death, promise I’m trying to post/edit it! The raw reality is healing is harder than I ever expected, and I am overwhelmed with gratitude for its slow process. 🙏❤️
Slide for spam of my then existence. January Table setting adventures in honor of ✨family dinners✨ after a dehumanizing series of years for us. experimenting with Origami napkin friends and coffee filters then, haha.
The cleaning day adventures! Aka feral wheelchair girl vs big home to clean! Mom is now working/being so hardworking busy, wish I could do more in terms of helping her. But things I cannot control, so off as the a discombobulated human cleaning cart, I roll! New Dry erase mirror graffiti greets her every few weeks, haha.
The 1$ Alice in Wonderlandish coffee cup my visiting bro and I proudly purchased at goodwill post Xmas for mom. has become her official challis thanks to the trolley-troll (♿️) sneaking treats and cream upon it for mom-morning greetings. This “living” thing I am Very Much Learning 😂. I’ve had such an odd life, I feel like an alien playing Person.
2/? 🤷♀️Somewhat miscellaneous January content documented in a profound illness stupor. 😂 We had/have two resident fawns living in the misfit meadow’s lawns, along with two falcons and a herd of groundhogs, haha. ❤️https://www.instagram.com/p/C7kPuK0v7Et/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
BAMBI
january “ I get a chance to live?!” Illness impaired Era content. Wheelchair cooking adventures, learning shared family dinners! Misc learning to make meals-on-wheels-content! Lots of learning to be alive and adapt. I better post my Cook Nook soon, so How I cook makes sense, haha! Onto the endeavor of shared family meals-our abuse and medically shattered family history never allowed such in a thing in recent years. In January I embarked on making recipes and meals mom and I could actually eat together/share. High protein things (like 20g pro per serving with nutrition/calorie calculations as well, yay for my scientific calculator from Saxon Math, haha) given doctor directions, and made main dish low carb with good carby stuffs on the side. Because my glucose reactions/low tolerance/trying to figure out what I can tolerate best. It’s April as I write this, and I can confirm I’ve gotten the hang of it! I also am enjoying an actual Sleep schedule too, so eating in the day is possible! Yay melatonin! More of my Cook Nook created thingies to post soon. Our current routine: We have brunch and early dinner at 3-5pm (when my medical mess/body allows me eating!) I prep-pack ahead 3 days of zip-bagged plated work-bunches for mom to heat there, I home-eat something unplanned that I’m medical-madness craving and cook in the morning, then I get dinner on ze table as soon as she’s home, typically 4pm. Eating twice daily is best for me given the disabling hours that follow symptomatically. Tis such a dream to dine together and enjoy a lot of the same treats!!! Grateful she does the dinner dishes while I snail-speed wheel to put the sides and sauces away and sweep! Yes, this is how dehumanizing our lives have been. We are learning how to Family Dinner. 😂😭🙏Thanking God for every minute! My DIY recipes of keto (as I’m a type ? Diabetic) lasagna w/egg white floof pre baked layers, egg white spinach quiches, high protein soups, bakes, sides, etc. done in instant pot and toaster oven from wheelchair.
https://www.instagram.com/p/C7kRN4kv1B6/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
/? January “ I get a chance to live?!” Illness impaired Era. Wheelchair cooking adventures, learning shared family dinners! Misc learning to make meals-on-wheels-content! Lots of learning to be alive and adapt.
Learning how to get instant pot + toaster oven dinners on the table to share as soon as sweet mom stepped into the door, haha. In pleased psychotic pseudograndma-wheelchair-person fashion, indeed
Petite high protein low carb chicken pot pies. (Medical issues making me calculate nutrition stuffs again. I was so rusty on adding up the calories on my diy recipes. The protein gram learning was new to me and initially so challenging! ). And other random meal makes. Because life is an ✨occasion ✨
https://www.instagram.com/p/C7kSyMpP1ve/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
?/? January-learning-wheelchair-family-dinner-adventures contd. 🤷♀️😂 Me having to eat so many egg whites for protein led to me learning how to cook with and freeze the extra yolks. I use them in baking as 1 egg by adding 1/4c fluid and Xantham gum. Biscuits, bakes, and a lot of high protein DIY recipes by me. These were egg white soufflé sheets filled filled/topped with many mix ins of cottage cheese, spices and plenty, veggies, etc. love getting to feast with family at last❤️.https://www.instagram.com/p/C7kTuyrMHZt/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
?/? January me learning wheel living. Experimenting gleefully with my little CookNook Cart! The early beginnings of me learning to prep, pack, stack and load back my mom’s work brunch packs on it. I’d been doing all the cooking for my mom and I since around 2017? As it Twas fun (in between my medical inability to eat/even though I couldn’t enjoy too then). But my mom working is new so I hadn’t perfected how to pack good things for her. I now oilbrush the microwaveable plates and fill with treats (premade and frozen prior by me), and usually send a side instant pot soup in a heatable jar. Then stack and pack in a plastic zip bag. I am able to make them 3-4 days in advance thanks to our very cold (icy, actually 😂) refrigerator! So much easier with Franklin the Cart friend, hahaha.https://www.instagram.com/p/C7kVXbts7wr/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
Petite pies! January. Pumpkin pecan in pans from my gran’. A for mom surprise! Excess pics with smol friends. because that’s apparently how I show my happiness, haha. 🥧🥰https://www.instagram.com/p/C7kmftLsRrR/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
Bro’s poker chip collection photographed at Christmas!. Nothing can compare to my initial horror at my Christian homeschool kid big bro going Pro Poker player instead of PHD professoring. He’s the password child!. *not me crying because SCARY* playing at chess clubs got him here 🙈😂 We got to watch him on @bestbetpoker YT stream back in March. May his Mos Eisley Cantina-career prosper…#loveyoubro #proudofu #dontgetterminallypokedplease #moseisleycantinacareer #phd #notmecrying #dangerousjobs
https://www.instagram.com/p/C7k0dRrsyi1/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
Ahhhh, why is it so soothing and inexplicably fulfilling to blog/write/chatter into the void at oneself as a form of pseudo-social interaction, haha?Happy ~unhinged~ holidays to all!
PS: I'm sorry the images are GINORMOUS.
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Latest Entry
The Ranking
First: In case this breaks, here is a link to the google doc I pasted this from.
Happy Bionicle Day!
The last few years I have celebrated this joyous day by sharing some artwork from the Atama/BZPGOT series of games, but this year I thought I would do something a little different. Today I will officially rank all 24 of the games that we have played so far. I’ll highlight some of my favorite moments, some lessons learned, which player characters played the biggest roles, and more.
So without further ado… let us begin! Starting from the bottom…
–
#24
also known as: “where the metanarrative experiment went horribly wrong”
Ran from July 2022-April 2023
Tagline: Have Faith and Obey
Focus Characters: Richard Vaughn (Trijhak), Xccj/”X” (Xccj), “Sarah Rays” (Ehks)
Favorite Moments: Two. The first is Chapter 11, where the metanarrative, due to a variety of circumstances, suddenly became very real. We’ll touch more on this later.
The second comes from Chapter 6, where horror and reality blended together.
The Game: At the end of the day, something needed to be at the bottom of the list. The hard truth is this: I have some fond memories of An Azurial Dream, but at the same time, this is the game that derailed an entire arc. Players lost interest, players dropped out. Many of the ideas I incorporated into the game (both from original plans and from scrambling to make things work later) failed. This was game two in a four game arc, but games three and four never ended up running. It was only the second time I canceled games and wiped things away.
I still feel like the metanarrative could work - but not in a game so horror-focused, where the players need to buy into the world they are playing inside in totality. And it needs to be an idea brought forth before players ever sign on - for a few, its very presence ruined every bit of immersion and attachment they had.
The biggest mistake I made was scrambling, when one player exited the campaign last minute, to fully replace them. I should have instead just moved forward, adjusting plans to the lower player count, while searching for a more organic way to introduce a new fourth player. Instead I turned to the metanarrative elements (which had mostly been in the background or hinted at) and dragged them to the forefront to explain how the player would return, through the deus ex machina of a fifth person being pulled into the game. To say that it was a giant cluttered mess is an understatement.
#23
also known as “the one where spilled soup kickstarted the most iconic romance in the series”
Ran from July 2018-December 2018
Tagline: Set Sail
Focus Characters: Juke Bawks (Zee), Rassilon Oak (TTL)
Favorite Moment: It can only be the dinner with Telluris, where soup was spilled on the shirt of a PC by the name of Juke Bawks. Juke’s player rolled a NAT 20 for seduction as they removed the soaked shirt, and from that moment, it was love at first sight for Telluris.
The Game: It isn’t that The Odyssey is BAD, it’s just that… there really wasn’t much to it. It was a very experimental game, meant to do a few things. The first was to do a little worldbuilding outside the island of Okoto; the second was to prototype the concept of a pirate-adventure style game (we’ll get there); the third was to prototype a team-based campaign before fulfilling the concept more fully with The Final Season.
The Odyssey succeeded in all three aspects, in that the players drifted mostly aimlessly for about six months IRL while I figured out exactly what it was I was actually trying to accomplish. Some fun memories, certainly, but all tied together by the absolute loosest of possible threads.
#22
also known as “the oneshot that took longer than entire games”. thanks, burnout+covid.
Ran for all of November 2022
Tagline: A Special Presentation!
Focus Characters: None.
Favorite Moment: Tough call with this one - I was legitimately so burned out and sick (and then, when not sick, so exhausted) that just getting through this one was hard for me. The players likely had more fun with this one than I did, in that they must have all enjoyed at least a singular second of it.
The Game: I should clarify that I don’t necessarily think that The Abomination!! was necessarily a “bad” game, though I did make mistakes that I learned from for future games. First, I came into it without a proper idea of what anything after the beginning could look like, which destroyed any hope of pacing the adventure. The ending is very weak. I made efforts to tie it into the ongoing major story arc at the time, when the game would have been better off standing on its own.
But at the end of the day, the real reason that The Abomination!! ranks so low is simply that I cannot divorce the suffering I was undergoing at the time from the game itself. Immediately following this game’s end, I took a multi-week break from both hosting and my IRL job at the same time and spent the first several days just sleeping.
(This was all happening at the same time that An Azurial Dream fell apart, and when AetherGarde had its rough start. What a month).
#21
also known as “the roguelike with a casual disdain for sense or canon”
Ran from October 2022-March 2023
Tagline: There’s Only One Rule: Win or Die.
Focus Characters: None.
Favorite Moment: The boat.
The Game: We had talked for a long time about what a “roguelike” game might look like, and in 2022 I finally decided “let’s just try it and see what happens”. The resulting game had a very rough start as the players and I acclimated to all of the systems (and I acclimated to the need to hunt people down to actually perform actions). Then November 2022 hit, and then I took December 2022 off, and… that was that.
Just kidding.
When we returned in 2023 to finish the game, AetherGarde finally hit its stride. We leaned further into the inherent silliness of the concept, and streamlined some of the clunkier setups. It might be low on the list, but the second half was a lot of fun, and I think an AetherGarde 2 would have the potential to be fantastically fun.
#20
also known as “fire emblem: three houses”
Ran from January 2020-April 2020
Tagline: A Brave New World
Focus Characters: Eleshna Darkfire (Ehks), Quin Galum (Dane), Samson (Jakura), Vlora Crustallus (Voxumo), Giovanna Aodh (TTL)
Favorite Moments: A few. The first is the duel between Eleshna/The Flame Emperor, Quin, and Byleth Darkfire in Chapter 4. It was a frantic fight that took them from the second level of an inn out onto the streets at night.
The second is in Chapter 8, with the Black Eagles, as they finally uncover the answer about Efandril Darkfire’s whereabouts.
The Game: If ever a game was a mixed bag, this game is a MIXED BAG. You can probably tell by the dates above that a particularly stressful worldwide event started in the middle of this game, and it may well have contributed to the stress and attitudes of multiple players (and myself, even!). But there was a lot against this game from the start.
To begin: I had a detailed outline of a game taking place over the course of a year, but wanted the players to speed through each chapter over the course of an IRL week, meaning the pacing… well… it doesn’t exist. Major events are skipped over, as well as endless opportunities for genuine character interactions. An entire episode for character interactions set at a fancy ball was cut, for no other reason I can fathom these days except that I was attached to the idea of the game having ten chapters (we’ll get to that).
Too many factors to properly name (many of them my fault, and many of them not) led to the most vitriolic game I have ever hosted. Players were at my throat or each other’s throats more than they had ever been (and more than they ever have been since). Three players rage quit over the course of the game, another vanished without a trace, and I barely talked three others down from joining them. I cut an extra episode away from the second half of the game just to get finished with it faster. And half of the players that stuck it out were outright blood enemies IRL by the end of it all.
Not the greatest of times.
But it beats the games below it both because we did actually manage to finish it out, and because this is the second game in Edge of Dawn, my favorite arc, and so I have a soft spot for it despite everything. Also, it’s the origin of the Eleshna & Seiros dynamic, so bonus points.
#19
also known as “the first time voltex tried to end the series forever”
Ran from January 2019-April 2019
Tagline: Welcome to the Great Game
Focus Characters: Efandril Darkfire (Burnmad), Feli Sivr (Xccj), Ehks Glacies (Ehks), Nato Greavesy (Nato), Voxumo Ash (Voxumo), Anahera Abissm (Zee), Jakura Aodh (Jakura)
Favorite Moment: It comes from Chapter 5 - the midpoint of the game. Two groups of PCs confronted the game’s main antagonist, Miserix… and managed to kill him in the fight that ensued. Little did they know at the time that I had planned it, of course - the real main antagonists of this game were the player characters themselves.
Worst Moment: In a rush to get to some IRL event, I left the players mid-climatic event toward the end of the game, with about 30 seconds of in-game time available to them. I returned several IRL hours later to nonstop interactions that veered into the insane and canon-breaking - and not just because the players had been SO ACTIVE that they had played out several hours-long in-game conversations.
I deleted everything, and I am still not sorry. Also still not the worst thing a player has ever done (I’m looking at you, TTL, and having your players try to twerk).
The Game: The Final Season is a rather slapdash end to what was a rather slapdash arc. It introduced a brand new setup and playing style that contrasted against the focuses of previous games. The world was empty - and not even real for most of the game, besides. The game’s setup forced a premature end to the arcs of several PCs for no reason except that I had baked it into the mechanics of the game to force conflict. The “grand ending” to the series leading up to that point also introduced a bunch of new heroes, potential villains, and plot points. The final chapter ends on with at least two different cliffhangers teasing at future games. Not exactly an “ending”. Nicely done, me.
#18
also known as “the choose-your-own-adventure that was really just an excuse to lore dump at the end”
Ran in January 2017
Tagline: How It Began
Focus Characters: None
Favorite Moment: The title of Chapter 10, “United We Fall”. I felt so clever at the time, but have also kicked myself for wasting it so early in the series many times. The whole “United We Stand / Divided We Fall” is so cliche, I loved the idea of turning it on its head. Silly Voltex.
The Game: Not much to say here. This was strictly a CYOA game, where players contributed only be selecting 1 path of multiple options, and had to continue picking the correct path all the way to the end. There really isn’t much to this, and in fact it should probably be lower for it.
What I’m really saying is that I enjoyed this nothingburger more than all of the games ranked lower than it, which is just me hurling an insult at… myself????
Let’s move on.
#17
also known as “the game where everything falls apart at the very end”
Ran from January 2018-July 2018
Tagline: Everything Before was Just Prelude
Focus Characters: Ehks Glacies (Ehks), Quin Galum (Dane), Efandril Darkfire (Burnmad), Jakura Aodh (Jakura), Vinheim Maran (Voxumo), Rilgivi Nivis (Trijhak), Rassilon Oak (TTL), Isniel Lasang (FF)
Favorite Moments: A few. The first is Jakura Aodh’s death at the hands of Efandril Darkfire. The second is the trip through time that Ehks took. The third is the entire Battle of Fort Patrus.
Worst Moments: Also a few. The first was my co-host rage-quitting on me right in the middle of the finale. The second was a player rage-quitting right before the finale. The third was my co-host taking one player’s PC and sending them on an adventure one episode that was as long as the entire rest of the game combined that also took place in another dimension unrelated to anything else that was going on (seriously, what the heck am I supposed to do with that?!?!).
The Game: Look, as you can probably surmise, Season Three had a lot going on. A lot of it was really, REALLY good, and I’ll even list some of it right here:
-The House Darkfire plotline finally came to fruition with Efandril Darkfire, whose storyline through Season Three, The Final Season, and Theogony is one of my favorites.
-Jakura Aodh was introduced, kickstarting what might still be my favorite overall arc any PC has undergone.
-The worldbuilding was crazy intense. The planet suddenly had a name (Atama!). The nations on Okoto had names, and provinces, and actual cities. Those locations were all now filled with actual characters, with actual lives, and actual histories.
-Building onto Point 3 - the characters and lore and worldbuilding that Season Three set up are still having significant impact all these years later, with some of its characters still active all these years later (one - Sahmad - was the first character to break past 100 total appearances!).
-Season Three had what I personally felt were the first genuinely GOOD fights in the series - whether it was the small-scaled fight against Turahk in Chapter 1, or the Battle of Fort Patrus in Chapter 5.
But also, at the same time, a lot of stuff in Season Three was really not so good. To list a few examples:
-Each player had their own storyline, tied into the storyline of their specific nation. Some storylines had more going on than others, and this also isolated the various nations in a way they never had been before.
-Tied into Point 1 - Season Three removed a lot of the freedom that was so prevalent in previous games. This remains an ongoing point of contention. My personal POV is that the series would not last as long as it has if we had kept with the super-open PVP focus that the series had prior… but also, it means always making an effort not to railroad the players onto a specific narrow path.
-Certain setups or encounters were blatantly unfair. Several players were forced to hunt for the cure to a plague given to them during setup, instead of getting involved with plotlines they were more interested in. Many players found themselves reaping unfair consequences for their successes in past games. It was not that good, to put it lightly.
-This was the one and only game I had a co-host for, and the experience left much to be desired for every person involved in the game. We’ll leave it at that.
-The ending is just. It’s not good. At all.
So… that’s Season Three. There’s a lot to like from it, and the series would not have lasted as long as it did if it were not for this game. But a lot of it was less than stellar, and many of the returning players did not enjoy their time.
#16
also known as “the one that started it all”
Ran from May 2016-July 2016
Tagline: You Win or You Die
Focus Characters: Voxumo Ash (Voxumo), Nato Greavesy (Nato), Pulse Vatten (Trijhak)
Favorite Moment: Season One has a few iconic moments, but if I had to choose one… it would be the ending to Chapter 3. “I’m a Man of My Word”.
The Game: This placement might seem controversial to some who played it. Season One is the game that started this whole thing! And there is a lot to like here; it was totally open, meaning that almost every single bit of worldbuilding in this game came from the players themselves. They had total freedom of where to go and what to do. It crafted the skeleton from which the rest of the series has been built.
But also, outside of the iconic moments it has… not much happens. The entire game put together is smaller in size than most single chapters from future games. The conflict - entirely player driven - fizzles out into utter nothing at the end with near-zero interactions. The worldbuilding is lackluster at best outside of the immediate contributions of players; cities have no names, nations have no names, we’re lucky that the island even has a name!
So here it lands, at 16 out of 24. You did good, Season One. But we’ve done so much better.
#15
also known as “the blatant excuse to stretch out several play streaks”
READ IT HERE (note: this game is incomplete. i haven't done the writeup yet. my b.)
Ran in December 2023
Tagline: Learn the Meaning of X-Mas!
Focus Character: Balathumel (Voxumo)
Favorite Moment: The reveal of X-Mas.
The Game: This was a fun little game. I took much of December 2023 off again, to recharge after another year of running games - but I also thought it would be fun to let a bunch of players just have some holiday-related fun, and to stretch out Voxumo’s years-long streak of playing Balathumel (as well as conveniently stretch out the streaks for a few other PCs). So the idea of 12 Days was born: Voxumo would play out all twelve days, each day visiting another PC to learn a lesson about “X-Mas”. And at the end, he even meets Saint Nick!
I was not too involved with this, outside of setting each day up - but that was part of the point. To let the players have some holiday-themed fun with each other, apart from the major story arcs being played through elsewhere. I applied some of the lessons learned from The Abomination!! the year prior.
#14
also known as “the birth of everyone’s least favorite, most hated npc”. die, sierra. die!
Ran from October 2021-November 2021
Tagline: The King is Dead. Who Killed the King?
Focus Characters: None.
Favorite Moment: The fate of Ztolta Nares in Chapter 1. Thanks again, Taka.
The Game: I talked for a long time about wanting to do a murder mystery game - and The Mysterious Affair at Styles is that mystery game. Following the behemoth that was Verdant Wind, I felt it was the perfect opportunity to do a little genre experiment, and I think it worked out well for the most part. There were some interesting twists and turns that took place, with some implications for the games ahead.
I do feel that the mystery aspect ended up feeling a little weak, and while the game was running, I did struggle with providing proper clues for the players. I tried to set things up so that the players could reach a conclusive ending no matter which suspect they selected, but I don’t feel I quite managed to succeed. Like AetherGarde, this is a concept that I think could genuinely turn out great if I give it another shot.
Oh yeah - that most hated NPC. Sierra Darkfire. A classic case of a new character being made way too important way too quickly off the backs of legacy characters, inheriting all that made those older characters iconic for no real reasons that the audience/players can see at all. But just you wait, players, I did what you wanted and dealt her a terrible fate! And I’m not done yet! You’ll like her by the end, I swear! I did it with Sahmad before, and I’ll do it again!
*shakes fist at sky, continues shouting pointlessly at clouds*
#13
also known as “the game where the players were actually the antagonists all along”
Ran from May 2020-July 2020
Tagline: Danger in the Dark
Focus Characters: Hakma Populus (Xccj), Giovanna Aodh (TTL), Loche Lurrun (Zee)
Favorite Moment: Chapter 6, “A Snake Among Serpents”.
The Game: Azure Moon has one of my favorite single-game arcs for a PC - the story of Hakma Populus. It also birthed the idea of “solo episodes”, where only one player is involved. Like most other firsts in this series, “A Snake Among Serpents” is pretty rough around the edges, but it also remains one of my favorites, and I have enjoyed, every so often, continuing to pull a solo episode out of my pocket. Azure Moon also has some of my favorite darker moments, particularly in Chapters 4 and 5.
But why is it here, in the dead center? Because that’s just the sort of game it is. It is almost dead-even with Silver Snow in my mind, and Azure Moon just barely loses out due to its weaker finale.
#12
also known as “the game where the player characters all hated each other all the time and didn’t understand the value of teamwork”
Ran from May 2020-July 2020
Tagline: Two Worlds Collide. One Survives.
Focus Characters: Vlora Crustallus (Voxumo), Samson (Jakura), Mlavic Aodh (Unit), Nathair Greavesy (Nato)
Favorite Moments: Two. The first was the reappearance of Balathumel (his first appearance since Theogony) and the NPC known as Vatten (his first appearance since Season Two) in Chapter 3, with both characters joining the party.
The second occurs in Chapter 6, when the PCs earned Surtr’s loyalty and respect.
The Game: This game ran alongside Azure Moon, and edges it out for a few reasons. While Azure Moon’s highs are higher, its lows are lower; in particular, its first few chapters are pretty meh, and its finale is weaker. Silver Snow, on the other hand, is consistent the whole way through, and has some equally interesting twists and turns. For instance, take the NPC Vatten; he was a bitter but heroic figure back in Season Two who sacrificed himself for the greater good - re-introducing him here in the Underworld, having suffered in the Fields of Punishment, is one of the better tricks I have managed to pull.
The players choosing to allow Balathumel and Vatten to accompany them on their journey also directly led to the fan favorite NPC known as Metus Crustallus surviving Silver Snow… so that he could later be taken down by none other than Balathumel.
But that’s a moment to be discussed later.
#11
also known as “the game with the highest highs and lowest lows. best final battle question mark?”
Ran from June 2019-August 2019
Tagline: The Last Enemy to Be Destroyed is Death
Focus Characters: Ehks Glacies (Ehks), Tabek Umrik (TBK), Juke Bawks (Zee), Jakura Aodh (Jakura), Toru Sevoi (Toru)
Favorite Moments: A whole bunch. There’s the wedding in Chapter 1, the final battle in Chapter 6, the interactions in Chapter 5, the epilogues… the list goes on.
Worst Moments: Chapter 4 might be the worst in the entire series. And Chapter 3 is mediocre. And Chapter 2 is… it’s okay, I guess.
The Game: The Aenid was the conclusion to The Argo Trilogy, a trilogy where I ran the first and third games in 2019 and then waited until 2022 to run the second. Yes, the order was on purpose. No, I did not intend for the gap to be three years long. Yes, the trilogy does work well as a trilogy, if you ignore the fact that games 1 and 3 are bullet-point writeups and game 2 has full chapters.
Anyway.
The Aenid starts out strong with one of the best opening chapters of any game, and it concludes with one of the best battles in any game, and has some of the best interactions, fights, and hijinks in any game. But man, Chapters 3 and 4 in particular are so weak. Truly terrible. The biggest lesson I learned from this game? Don’t make the players do the exact same thing every single chapter.
The biggest lesson I ignored from this game? You can either determine chapters by an IRL time limit or by an outline with no time limit. Don’t do both. I steadfastly ignored this until Twilight Requiem blew up in my face.
Fun!
#10
also know as “the one that would be perfect… IF I HAD FINISHED IT”
Ran from January 2017-June 2017
Tagline: All Men Must Die
Focus Characters: Pulse Vatten (Trijhak), Vinheim Maran (Voxumo), Nato Greavesy (Nato), Onaku Greavesy (Onaku), Jed Corruich (Jed), Chloe Saryian (Blade)
Favorite Moment: Genuinely hard to think of one moment compared to any others; I am still of the belief that, had we ended up playing Season Two through to its proper conclusion, it would be my favorite game.
Worst Moment: Getting burned out, and shutting things down early.
The Game: I think that Season Two still has the best mix of player freedom and predetermined plots in the series. The worldbuilding was stronger than Season One, but the NPCs were not as crushingly omnipresent as they would be in Season Three. Players decided what they wanted to do, where they wanted to do it, who they wanted to do it with (or to), and when. The slow escalation of the broader threat from Season One to the end of Season Two would have been great if it had played out to completion.
I have ranked this game higher in the past for all these reasons, but alas, I think I must be fair: this game was never truly completed, and so I cannot give it a completing grade. A game that was never finished is certainly still better than most of the games (maybe that’s a yikes, maybe that’s just nostalgia talking, maybe it’s both), and it is good enough to kick off our top ten - but no further.
#9
also known as “the end of all good things” HAHAHA WASN’T IT FUN HAVING THAT SHOVED DOWN YOUR THROAT FOR A YEAR
Ran from October 2023-June 2024
Tagline: All Good Things Must Come to an End
Focus Characters: Olik (Oncertainty), Eleshna Darkfire/Sarah Rays (Ehks), Prevalar Rayne (Terrorsaur), Rhagre Cipactli-10002 (Xccj), Pohatu-2968 (Voxumo), Jukris (Zee), JUK-3 (Zee), Vashan (Valendale), Achro (Toru)
Favorite Moments: A few. The Dread’s first appearance and the subsequent fall of Telluris in Chapter 4; the binary choice made by Rhagre in the finale (more on that later); the Olik solo episode and his return in the Epilogue; the various reveals surrounding Eleshna/Sarah and Seiros.
The Game: Across the Argo-Verse is the hardest game to talk about on this list, because it is the latest game to have been completed. If the rankings on this list change, this is the game most likely to shift, as more time passes and my opinion on it potentially changes. But for now it is here, for a few reasons, despite what issues it has (and it did have a few). First is the binary choice: for the third time, I asked one player - Xccj - to choose between two options at the very end of the game, like Ehks in Verdant Wind and Burnmad in Theogony before him. There were also some great character interactions this game, and great rivalries between several of the PCs and the antagonists they were up against.
This game was originally just the second half of Into the Argo-Verse, but the campaign grew so large that I split it in two.
I think that’s all that I’ll say on this one for now.
#8
also known as “the game where characters die for real this time, i swear”
Ran from January 2022-July 2022
Tagline: One Last Stand.
Focus Characters: Rhagre Cipactli (Xccj), Rhagre Cipactli-10002 (Xccj), Jennir Nuan (Terrorsaur), Balathumel (Voxumo), Anaster Petros (Taka), Kortaq Maran (Trijhak)
Favorite Moments: Two. The first was the destruction of the Argo, before destroying it became a running gag of sorts. Is destroying a ship funny? Well, it certainly became a running something.
Second is death of Metus at the hands of Balathumel, and everything that immediately followed it, including the Battle at Styles.
The Game: Epigoni originated as me wanting to tell a small, contained story about a couple long-running characters fighting to the death against overwhelming odds to save the day. Somehow that got mixed in with wanting to do a game set in Karda-Nui, which got mixed into wanting to do a sequel to The Mysterious Affair at Styles, which mixed with wanting to do a space game, which mixed with wanting to do a multiverse game, which mixed with wanting to do another Argonauts game, and then suddenly we have the game with the highest number of chapters in the series.
Anyway, it was a fun time.
And yes, most of the deaths did end up sticking. Except for Kovant. He escaped the ship explosion because I wanted him to.
#7
also known as “efandril darkfire is so important she needs her own game”
Ran from August 2019-September 2019
Tagline: Many Faces. Many Names.
Focus Character: Efandril Darkfire (Burnmad)
Favorite Moment: If I had to choose one, it is the binary choice that Efandril makes at the very end of the game. It cannot be understated how drastically this shifted the course of the entire series moving forward.
The Game: If Season Three and The Final Season had a single main character, that main character’s name was Efandril Darkfire. After being absent for the Argo Trilogy, I wanted to design a game around her… so I did. I merged it with an adaptation of the greek underworld, and the resulting game was small but enormously important. She met a few new faces along the way - Balalthumel, Gragu, and Aion/Khron (played by Voxumo, Xccj, and Dane respectively) - who would all continue to crop up in future games. But some of the biggest moments here derive from the lore that Efandril uncovered, and the decision she made at the very end: to side with the gods against the mortals that would stand against them.
This decision changed the course of the Edge of Dawn arc, and in turn, everything that has followed.
#6
also known as “the happy-go-lucky adventure where nothing bad ever happens, i swear”
Ran from April 2019-June 2019
Tagline: It’s a Beautiful Day
Focus Characters: Ehks Glacies (Ehks), Tabek Umrik (TBK), Rassilon Oak (TTL), Xavi Sivr (Xccj)
Favorite Moments: Gosh, where to start? Maybe it’s the final duel where Rassilon and Mazeka fought Rassilon’s abusive, absentee father aboard a sinking ship. Maybe it’s the Kraken fight from Chapter 4. Maybe it’s when I suddenly killed off my own self-insert. Maybe it’s the house of horrors that the players explored in Chapters 2 and 3. Maybe it’s Chapter 7, where the players traveled back in time and created the very enemies they were fighting in the present. Maybe it’s one of the dozens of different shenanigans that happened along the way.
The Game: The Argonauts is tough to summarize. Even if the writeups were full-on chapters and not just bullet points, I don’t think anyone who wasn’t there and playing can understand the utter joy that this game was. It was our first game to receive official cover art. Players made doodles and fan comics and memes. It was more lighthearted than any game before, but that meant the tragedies and scares and brutal fights that did crop up hit harder than any game before too. It took us out beyond Okoto, giving us a proper picture of what the rest of Atama looked like for the first time (The Odyssey barely counted). It was the pirate adventure I had always kinda wanted to try running, even before I was running these games.
Ranking it at #6 almost feels like a crime. But when it came to these top six, one game had to miss out on the top five, and The Argonauts has some rough spots, courtesy of its age, that some of the games that ranked higher don’t have (or overcome).
#5
also known as “sorry not sorry but yes the black eagles are the main protagonists of edge of dawn get rekt losers”
Ran from August 2019-December 2019
Tagline: No More Tomorrows
Focus Characters: Eleshna Darkfire (Ehks), Meghana (Zee), Lyonesse Yue’yuan (FF), Anaster Petros (Taka), Samson (Jakura)
Favorite Moments: I will limit myself to exactly three, just for you:
-The end of Chapter 5 (and let me tell you, I regret spoiling the surprise ahead of time back when I was running this)
-The Meghana plotline in Chapter 6.
-Eleshna’s arc with Sahmad in Chapter 1.
-HAHAHA JUST KIDDING A FOURTH - the debut of the Hunter in Chapter 1. Iconic.
Worst Moment: The opener for Chapter 4, and the general setup of that Chapter. What a mess, I tell ya.
The Game: Take the Argonauts (my favorite faction) and the Black Eagles (also my favorite faction) and blend the two together. You get Crimson Flower. Just thinking about this game I almost want to rank it higher. Almost. For all of the highs of this game (which I will list shortly), it does have some lows. Chapter 4 is almost abysmally bad compared to the rest of the game; Chapter 7 is rushed, and honestly probably should have been spread out into at least one other Chapter (curse you, Past Me, for your arbitrary limit of seven chapters!); there were some issues with players that involved disliking storylines and significant miscommunications that made things messy at the time.
But even still, Crimson Flower is one of my faves. I mean, it has all the following:
-The Black Eagles sailing alongside the Argonauts
-The Argonauts getting a legacy sequel game
-The Hunter
-Samson & Metus showing up by surprise in Chapter 1 and sticking around the whole game
-Unit Ember & Gragu showing up to star in Chapters 6 and 7 (sorry to spoil the surprise here)
-More stuff i won’t spoil for you
Anyway, Crimson Flower is great, the Argonauts and Black Eagles are my two favorite PC factions, and the Black Eagles always were and always will be the main protagonists of Edge of Dawn.
#4
also known as “the game voltex waited four years to run”
Ran from March 2023-October 2023
Tagline: All for One. One for All.
Focus Characters: Rhagre Cipactli-10002 (Xccj), Prevalar Rayne (Terrorsaur), Olik (Oncertainty), Pohatu-2968 (Voxumo), Seqala-420 (Trijhak), Thulox (Unit), Gragu (Xccj), Terrorsaur Rayne (Terrorsaur), Pulse Vatten (Trijhak), Isniel Lasang (FF)
Favorite Moment: Aside from finally getting to run the thing? Gotta be TBK rolling a NAT 20 to oneshot a character that was supposed to be one of the final bosses. But also when Prevalar had a three phase duel to end the game in the final battle. But also when the Gragcrew became the main characters for a few chapters. But also when the epilogue of The Apologoi ended up leading right into this game. But also exploring an Incursion (what are those? Read and find out). But also every time Thokiller is onscreen. But also Kivoda Rayne. But also-
The Game: Listen, if I start talking about Into the Argo-Verse, we’ll be here all day. I’d been trying to run this game (or some version of it) since 2019 when The Argonauts ended, and four years later, it finally happened.
Let’s just say I was very happy, got very silly, and call it a day.
#3
also known as “that time voltex finally went back and ran the middle part of that trilogy”
Ran from August 2022-September 2022
Tagline: The Untold Tale of the Argonauts
Focus Characters: Ehks Glacies (Ehks), Tabek Umrik (TBK), Juke Bawks (Zee), Prevalar Rayne (Terrorsaur)
Favorite Moment: The moment that all of the time travel and multiversal spaghetti clicked for people. Assuming it did, in fact, ever click for them. Also Kivoda Rayne. He’s such a dirtbag, we love him.
The Game: Back in 2019, I had the thought that it would be very interesting if I were to follow The Argonauts up with a game concluding the story (The Aenid) and then run a third game set between the two after the fact, as a challenge to see if that middle entry would still be fun to both run and play. My first attempt failed, and we do not talk about it, because it was terrible and it delayed Into the Argo-Verse by four years (though it did mean I pivoted entirely to Edge of Dawn, so it’s not all bad).
But in 2022, I had run a poll, and the players voted to play AetherGarde next. Except I had nothing ready for AetherGarde, and I REALLY wanted to run Into the Argo-Verse… so I got a couple players together in secret, and then I ran The Apologoi instead as a stopgap. Little did the players realize, at the time, what my TRUE INTENTIONS WERE! HAHAHA!
#2
also known as “all of voltex’s horror hopes and dreams realized”
Ran from January 2022-July 2022
Tagline: There is Nothing to Fear
Focus Characters: “Sarah Rays” (Ehks), Dale Eisenhorn (Jakura)
Favorite Moment: Everything with the Watermill
The Game: Much like Into the Argo-Verse, I was inspired by The Argonauts. The idea of running a fully-fledged horror game would not leave me. Only a few small problems: not everyone is scared by the same things. Not everyone wants to be scared, either. Not everyone can sustain that mindset for hours at a time for a campaign. Some people will claim they’re good for horror, but does that mean they are good at crafting the horror, or experiencing the horror, because those are two very different skills!
Anyway, it took 2.5 years, but then Verdant Wind ended, and I got to thinking about a question:
Where do Vanished Things Go?
You see, one of my favorite PCs, Eleshna Darkfire, had recently erased herself. And one of my favorite NPCs, Seiros, had just pledged to find her. And so the mystery was born: I would lead a campaign adapting the cthulhu mythos and other horrors and mythologies into BZPGOT, and all of it would secretly be leading to the potential return of Eleshna Darkfire to the games, so that she could live out her happy ending.
A Midnight Requiem went, I think, about as well as I could have hoped for the first installment of such a series to go. The players were into it. I was into it. And though we all know now where it ended, I have come around to feel that it does not necessarily need to impact how I view this game. (Maybe it helps that the storyline started here with Eleshna and Seiros did end up getting its conclusion in Across the Argo-Verse).
Anyway, I feel like this game was pretty swell, even if the whole Glass storyline kinda just shriveled and died afterward.
#1
also known as “the magnum opus”
Ran from January 2021-August 2021
Tagline: The End.
Focus Characters: *deep breath* Eleshna Darkfire (Ehks), Tekmo Saryian (Toru), Tharkan Plast (Trijhak), Iyara Diurim (TBK), Meghana (Zee), Jakura Aodh (Jakura), Xavi Sivr (Xccj), Lyonesse Yue’yuan (FF), Anaster Petros (Taka), Vlora Crustallus (Voxumo), Nathair Greavesy (Nato), Mlavic Aodh (Unit), Giovanna Aodh (TTL), Veer Sanada (Dane), Efandril Darkfire (Burnmad), Kranan Crustallus (Kranan), Samson (Jakura), Feli Sivr (Xccj), Ehks Glacies (Ehks), Gragu (Xccj), Khron (Dane), Jennir Nuan (Terrorsaur)
Favorite Moments: The Game.
The Game: Let’s get this clear right out of the gate: Verdant Wind should not have worked. It had too many players. It had too many player characters. It had players playing too many characters. It had too many NPCs. It had too many locations. It had too many factions. It had too many conflicts. Too many plot points. Too many story arcs. Too many character arcs. Too many heroes. Too many antagonists. Too many reveals.
But it stuck the landing. Yes, there were one or two stumbles along the way. An event or two that could have used some more foreshadowing; a particular skip in time that maybe wasn’t necessary halfway through.
But it stuck the landing. The opener was great. The ending was great. The final battles - yes, both of them, at the midpoint and the finale - were great! The choice that ended it all was great. The characters were great. I loved that it came down to Eleshna & Seiros, that iconic duo, and how their rivalry and relationship evolved. We threw everything at the wall for Verdant Wind, and near all of it actually stuck on the thing.
Three years later, it still blows my mind.
I could run these games for another century, and I don’t think I’ll ever top this.
---
Anyway, that's my ranking of the BZPGOT series! Let me know if you disagree. Share your own rankings, those of you that have observed or participated through the years!
(and join the community here if you'd like)
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20 years later
Where are you now Conner??? Who did you become??? Did you get fed??? Do you still like Bionicle??? Did you ever think when you made that post, it would still be talked about 20 years later??? Did you ever expect someone to make magnets of your post???
I hope you have a good life!!!
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BrickFair 2024 T-Shirt Preorders
Shirt design is decided. Bad Guys Grill, with white ink on a blue shirt!
Files open until Monday 5pm EST. Don’t wait!Only order if you’re going to BrickFair!
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Fourfold of Fate
Hello, I'm planning to run a space-themed Bionicle RPG on Discord, and I'm looking for some additional players. If you're interested, let me know and I can send you an invite to the Discord server.
200 years ago, the Spaceship Artakan crashed into the desolate planet of Omega, stranding a population of Agori settlers. Even worse, when they woke up from their cryo-sleep, a malfunction caused them to suffer amnesia, forgetting their mission and their past. With no hope of rescue, they struggled to build a new settlement in the narrow Twilight Band, the only habitable zone of the planet. Currently, their population has grown, but there is unrest between factions of the Agori, and strange earthquakes continue to threaten their new home. A class of recently graduated students now have a chance to further explore their world, to uncover the mysteries of their past and the strange planet around them. This is… Fourfold of Fate: Legacy of the Starship Artakan.
Players will play Agori teenagers, recently graduated and ready to explore and put their talents to use. Players will have access to different mask powers, pets, and eventually all sorts of new tools and weapons, as they uncover mysteries, solve puzzles, and take part in occasional combat encounters. There will be four different routes the players can participate in.
Underwater Exploration: Professor Sufina Blanca has taken an interest in the unexplored ocean beneath the icecap on the Cold Side. She desires to lead a team with a submersible to explore the depths and search for signs of life. This will feature Exploration, Puzzle Solving, and Teamwork.
Underground Adventure: Eccentric technologist Fabarar DeepWood has discovered a radio signal that seems to originate south of the mountains. He wishes to travel beneath the mountains through the mines of Naxos to discover the source, in addition to scouting for new minerals and energy crystals to mine. This will feature Vehicular Operations, Technology, and Exploration.
Investigating the Maze: Esteemed Adventurer Huaju Dolostone wishes to map out a route through the rugged canyons of the Maze to reach the other side of the planet, so they can further explore for more resources. This will feature Combat, Teamwork, and Diplomacy.
Conspiracies and Politics: A lower class radical Eztli Aodh is seeking societal change, hoping to unearth conspiracies to turn the public against the ruling Orchids. She wants to lead a team to the wreckage of the Artakan and dig into the past. This will feature Politics, Investigation, and Espionage.
More details can be found in the Intro Game Documentation. Hope to see you there!
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I Can't Believe I Used to Be Such a Terrible Author
For the past few weeks, I've been revisiting the oldest fanfiction of mine still on BZPower. It's something that I always imagined I would do. Maybe it's some kind of compulsion, but I'm kind of obsessed with going back and constantly revising my own work.
I joined this site in 2007 and for me the "Golden Age" was from that time to the Dataclysm. Losing all the fanfictions I had written before that point really felt like the burning of the Library of Alexandria to me. I remember it as having been a vast corpus of work (though, when I look back at the fragments I could find on the Wayback Machine, the chapters are a LOT shorter than I remember, so maybe it's only in my childish memory that I wrote pages of pages of captivating stories).
When BZPower came back online, it felt like something of a resurrection to me. I thought to myself that maybe it was good to purge myself of the old so that I could stretch my wings as an older, wiser author. Looking back at what I wrote as an "older, wiser author," I realize just how cringy and unrefined my style really was.
It makes me stop and wonder, are my current writings that bad? I've spent the past 14 years writing things with the long-term goal of eventually being published professionally, and it scares me to think all of it, no matter how good it feels when I write it, I will look back on as immature juvenalia.
It's also hard to think about how the "Golden Age" of BZPower really only lasted for two or three years for me. The forum came back more than ten years ago, yet it still feels like "new" BZPower for me and my default impulse is that I am still getting used to it.
Anyway, pay no mind to my existential crisis.
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The comic lives on...
So my 12-year-old recently read through all the comics I made on here back when I was ... what, 16? My main reason for being on BZPower for quite a while.
It was a surreal moment, and sort of embarrassing... 😅 but hey, the half-or-so of them that he understood, he thought was funny - so I guess the comedy works for that age.
Here's to feeling old and decrepit, but also sort of cool.
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oh hey
look at that, there's no delete button for blog entries that you only uploaded to see if your blog still works
guess this one is staying up
oopsa doopsa
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Embers - Project Teaser
I was recently reminded that blogs exist, so I figured that this was as good a place as any to post the first official teaser for an upcoming project that will be releasing later this year.
___________________
Deep down, everyone’s afraid of the dark.
It’s a powerful, primal thing, an instinct born long before any of us were created. In the dark, anything could be waiting.
A ravenous rahi, a roving Rahkshi, Karzahni or Irnakk or Tren Krom or any one of the other nightmares of legend.
But now we know there’s nothing waiting for us in the dark.
Nothing at all.
And somehow, that makes it even more frightening.
___________________
In this alternate reality take on the Bionicle story, the Great Spirit Robot was mysteriously shut down shortly after Teridax took over. In the wake of this second Great Cataclysm, lightstones and heatstones begin to dim and die throughout the universe, dooming its denizens to a dark, cold demise.
Metru Nui – with lifegiving light still seeping through the sun holes overhead, and its cold streets heated by the fires of the Great Furnace – becomes the last bastion for the Matoran species. But when the city’s Toa depart to rescue Matoran still trapped out in the dark of the dying universe, they leave the populace vulnerable to the machinations of an unexpected enemy, and return to a city they no longer recognise…
Work on Embers began in August of 2022. During that time, I was writing for my Farewell To Corpus Rahkshi collaboration, which put me in a nostalgic, inspired frame of mind, motivating me to finally act on some story concepts I’d been toying with for a long time.
Embers was originally envisioned as a trilogy of three “books” that I expected to be ready for release sometime in 2023, but the story ballooned massively in size and scope as I began work on it, expanding to six instalments instead. Due to my nasty habit of starting projects, getting overwhelmed, and not finishing them, I was determined to fully complete a first draft before I began posting anything. I felt that being able to go back and revise the story as a whole would also allow for a more cohesive and consistent narrative overall. As I post this teaser, I’m finishing off the first draft of Book 6. While I’ll still need to carry out a few editing passes (and probably completely rewrite some parts I rushed through), I’ll absolutely be in a position to begin posting chapters sometime later this year.
This is by the far the biggest project I’ve attempted and actually followed through on, and I’ve already got ideas for a possible sequel trilogy if the story is well-received. Keep an eye out on the Epics forum for the official release in the coming months.
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The almost-but-not-quite-annual roundup
And/or the usual "hey world! I'm still alive!" post
So where have I been?
Mostly busy with life, and finally with a stable internet connection at my PC so expect some more activity from me, I guess. Occasionally, anyway.Other than that, I missed this place, a lot. And can't help but get nostalgic about the old times of lots of daily activity. Regular display name changes, especially around April 1st (my, what a coincidence) or with whatever tiny trend floated by. (On a side note, I'm delighted to see that the old emoticons are still around. Love these
)
Hope you're all doing well! I'll see you around. ^^
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I am not, and never will be ashamed of the cake puns in this blog entry title.
Anyways, it's been fun to look at milestones from the past 5-6 years of my baked goods journey. Please enjoy (vicariously) snapshots of gloopy sadness and glutenous glow-ups.My ego insists that I tell you about my natural dis-inclination toward exact measurements and the science-y part of baking (which is why I historically have had more success with cooking). But sharing sweet food with friends and family over the years has been a good motivator to improve, and there's nothing like a sporadic BZP blog post to share the progress
2018, for a sibling's birthday. This was back when I didn't know (or care) about pan sizes or icing consistency. My mindset was "It's sugar, flour, and more sugar. How bad can it be?" To be fair, it (probably) tasted good. I'm pretty sure we ate all of it, eventually. 😅
2019, for the same sibling's birthday. I had the vision, obviously not the execution. To be fair, it was a very hot summer that year, and I think this was my first attempt at homemade icing? But, yeah. ooof.
To be fair! It was eaten and did not go to waste!
2020, this sibling is very spoiled, and finally had a cake from big sister that stood up on its own!! Progress never tasted so good! (probably, I don't actually remember at this point what flavor this was)
2021, Valentine's brownie/cake. This is when I decided to care about form factor and presentation more. Boxed brownie mix and store-bought icing all around - two modern marvels that I will never cease to love.
2022! This is the year I stepped it up because suddenly there were in-laws to impress! Lemon raspberry cake, got my whole baking pan situation sorted and took homemade icing seriously. I've found the YouTube channels Binging with Babish and Preppy Kitchen to be the most helpful (educational, practical, and instructional), and you can probably tell!
But also, I found that I had more free time on the weekends with a job change. Moving from a physical warehouse job to a sedentary office job during this year was interesting - when I had a physical job, my hobbies outside of work were much more internal and sedentary. I got a lot of reading and writing done in these time period. When I changed to an office/teaching job, my hobbies almost immediately changed back to tactile and physical (knitting, cooking, baking, hiking). Funny how balance just kind of happens sometimes.
Pies, scones, muffins, cupcakes, and a few other desserts were also explored in this year. In a slightly broader scope, we also tried some fun international dishes at home, like pupusas, baozi, and spring rolls!
2023 cakes, and many other baking ventures happened this past year. Here are some of the highlights. It also helps that I changed jobs and had an office to share these baked goods with (as opposed to the old warehouse gig).
Apple Butter Maple cakes, from Preppy Kitchen. I actually broke a crock pot trying to make apple butter from scratch for the filling 😱
The small cake on the right is gluten and dairy free, and underneath the passable icing, was a DISASTER. Still learning the intricacies of the GF/DF world for the sister-in-law. Thankfully there are many box mix options now!!
Pink brownie cakes for niece's birthday. Had some fun with icing piping bags and nozzles, but have yet to actually get into decorating (may not actually happen. There's still that primal battle between "make it look nice" vs "it's all going to the same place", so there's a limit to my dithering.
Christmas Babkas! Technically not cakes, but after many attempts at sourdough that were meh at best, babka sounded like sufficient, sweet, and swirly compromise for a dough-based challenge.
2024 has yet to see large-scale baking productions - just some congratulatory oreo cupcakes to welcome a new nephew, and a batch of Hong Kong egg tarts that were a funky texture 😝.
Anyways, that's a slice of my life recently (wink!) and I'm always excited to hear suggestions, tips, or other tales!
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I did an art
Slinky through this linky on over to the comics forum to have a peak!
More to come maybe? Possibly? Who knows! The inner machinations of my mind are an engima. If I do continue it, I'm thinking of maybe having permanent guest stars positions, just for ol' times sake.
--Akaku: Master of Flight
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???
I just got accepted into graduate school. My dream program. I feel excited, and I also feel guilty for feeling excited because I'm also still mourning. None of this makes sense.
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2023 Was an Amazing Year
Welp, time to reflect publicly on BZP. I always like doing that. This year, I'll be trying something a little different and I'll actually be typing this up while reading my private thoughts from my journal I wrote throughout the year.
Starting with something that was a theme throughout the whole year: In December of 2022, as part of a musical Secret Santa exchange, I received the song Where Are You Now by Danny L. Harle. From there, I listened to the rest of the Harlecore album, and then discovered the whole musical world revolving around the PC Music label/collective. I realized I already recognized a lot of the names from the 100 gecs remix album. This really is my kind of music. I found so many songs I loved, but one artist stood out from among the rest: GFOTY. She's quickly become one of my all time favorites and over the course of the year, I've listened to her entire discography. Unfortunately, PC Music announced that they're ending new releases on the label with the end of the year, so I'm listening to some of their stuff on the last day, even as I write this. It was a great ride, even if I only caught the tail end of it. Oh, and going back to the gecs, seeing them live was the other big musical moment for me this year. Their new album was great too.
As I mentioned in my last entry, I finished college, moved out on my own, and got a job. I feel a lot more independent now. With that, I've been doing a lot more cleaning and organizing this year for a variety of reasons. I've also had more time for my hobbies though, getting a lot more lego building done and integrating myself into a local lug.
I got dental implants put in at the beginning of the year. Something I had forgotten about was that this prevented me from eating my favorite food for a month. I'm actually just now getting scheduled to have the crowns put on the implants. I'm honestly tired of all this stuff going on with my teeth. I'm so ready to be done with it.
Something I'm noticing is I was able to become much more social and confident over the course of the year. I even went out on a few dates! Nothing that led anywhere serious, but I'm very proud myself for handling it in a way that felt very natural. Ironically, I'm also much more comfortable being alone now than when I was in college. I think there's something about being surrounded by people that actually makes you feel more lonely sometimes.
I've started playing more seriously in @Voltex's BZPGOT games this year. I've only recently started getting caught up on all the previous story there, but before I started that, I decided to read/reread all canon Bionicle story material. This, combined, with another event I'll mention later, means I did a lot more reading than has become normal for me this year. Next year I'm hoping to get caught up on the BZPGOT write ups, maybe read some other Bionicle fanfic ( @Pahrak Model ZX?) , but especially start reading some non-bionicle books aimed at adults haha.
Brickfair was great as I also mentioned in the last entry!
There was one thing about Brickfair I didn't mention though. At one point during the con, I got a call from my father. He met up with my cousin. I hadn't seen her in 7 years, and we hadn't been able to spend quality time with each other in even longer. He wouldn't tell me what was going on until I got back and spoke with him in person. It wasn't instantaneous for us to reconnect, but we did it. Both of us were worried the other might have somehow become a completely different person in the interim, but we get along so well. We were able to have phone calls, texts, and finally meet up in person for Thanksgiving. This has made me happier than anything else really, and I think it's been so good for both of us to have the other back in our life. I've always looked up to her, we have a lot of fond memories together, and now we're making new ones. She's someone I feel like I can talk to like no one else, and she always has such interesting things to say.
So that's obviously not everything, but that's the biggest stuff. Thank you to each of you who have had even some small part in making my year so good! And a happy new year to you all! I know I already have some good things planned for it.
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20 Years Later...
Meant to stop by earlier this month for quick drop-in. I can't believe it's been 20 years since I first found this site. I rarely visit anymore, but I'm still alive and kickin', though I'm more active on other social sites.
The world has changed and so have I. Within the past decade, I got married and now have a kid.
So anyway, see you around. I may not visit much, but I haven't forgotten this place.
(C)1984-2023 Toaraga EAM
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more than meets the eye
So, i'm not sure what to put here anymore (spoilers: it won't be another movie review) but i may as well talk about some things
I'm Trans! (She/Her/Hers) It took me a few years to recognize it, but now i feel a lot happier than i used to- I feel like i'm the real me, for the first time in years.
I had been talking with my friends for a while and they helped me realize who i am, and i couldn't have done it without them.
i do intend to start HRT but the UK is pretty awful for this kind of thing lol, so i'm most likely gonna be waiting 5 years or so to just join the waiting list.
Until then, i've been thinking of posting some more things here, getting the use of my BZP account yknow? I have a lot of Mocs i've yet to share with you all (i dare say my skills have improved a bit since i last frequented these boards) and i look forward to interacting with you all once more!
-Bean
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Masks of Power
Checking out the new Masks of Power trailer made me really nostalgic for my old BZP days. I really miss the huge community we used to have. I always say I'd like to come back into the fold, but I haven't committed yet. Bionicle has always had a special place in my heart though. Not to be dramatic but I feel like it really shaped part of who I am. After everything that's happened to me, through life and work and new relationships and long gone relationships and the discovery of my true identity, I am still a Toa warrior 💙💗🤍💗💙
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Strange Bionicle Find
Recently I managed to find someone selling the Bionicle Quest for Makuta board game online. It was in pretty good condition. An excellent addition to my collection.
I also picked up a few other board games. Just something to do with the kids I work with. One of the games was Monopoly. What did I find inside the box?
A single Cordak bullet.
The evidence speaks for itself. Family game night turned violent, the Toa Mahri intervened, and there were no survivors. 😔
Open and shut case.
Bake him away, toys.
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