Aderia

Arthaka Bulls, too, they have the intelligence of a Matoran.Edit: And Visorak, I'm pretty sure. Rebellious ones have tried to kill Makuta Teridax. I read that on good old BS01. Too bad a giant flying planet piece beat them to the punch =/

....a girl can't change her avatar and signature without having her ducklings stolen from her and accused of bad parenting. Is this really what the world's coming to?

I don't see what you don't understand about that. You're like a kidnapper except worse, because you steal ducklings. I'm not amused.

....what the heck, zar?

One question. Why did Mirzova feel the need to take the shock blaster when he had a perfectly functional and effective Kanoka Launcher?That aside, I'm gonna echo a fair bit of what Nick said up there. Realistic creepypasta feeling, great paranoia depiction, I love Metru Nui, and all that jazz.One of the most impressive things was how successful this was as a story. The way everything tied together in a cliffhanger-ish ending. Out of the frying pan, into the fire, I suppose. Poor Vahki, though. It was probably mentioned, but it was refreshing to see a Vahki portrayed as a good guy (at least, in the end) for once. That last paragraph that wrapped up that scary archives beast and everything, it just sent chills down my back. That bit, and the scene when Mirzova found the word 'run' etched into his wall.Another question, actually. Was it the Vahki who trashed the house, or the Rahi? Or both?Also, Nuhrii! Its awesome to see him getting some spotlight, even if he was just a minor character here. I really do miss the City of Legends, even though this story helped a bit. Another plus I wanted to mention, we got a decent look at every day life (more or less) in Metru Nui. We didn't really get much of that through the Toa Metru, with all their heroic gallivanting and all. Teaching the library folks to appreciate the small stuff, good for you!Yeah, overall, a great story (geez, where have you heard that before?) But some things just never get old, right? Keep up the great work =D

This. Its like a small town with people from all over the world, I really like that. I have friends (relative term) out of state and out of country, it's awesome. Also, I get chances to talk to people that I normally wouldn't because of age differences (location differences too, as mentioned before). It really helps with that 'learn something new every day' gig.

I used to be kinda paranoid that they actually cared, but I think they've gotten over it by now.

This is late. This is such a late reply. Not topic-revival late,I'm pretty sure, but still.Anyways, in Epics, I'm actually noticing more experienced writers and their works (judging by the first page in the forum), but Short Stories has a nice, refreshing mix of both =)Also, are any of you planning on entering the Short Stories portion of the LSO? (Awesome job with Epics, btw =D )

So, that kid peeking through the curtains in the 'king of all hatpiles' picture. Doesn't he just look bummed that his hat got showed up by your hatpile?

Mwahaha, barely recovered from this year, and the plotting is already beginning. I love it.

Heh, bit of a delayed reaction here, but OMG I REMEMBER MEETING YOU GUYS!! It was awesome.

Tough it out, Zar. Grit your teeth and see it through to the end. Otherwise, shave the Seneca Crane facial hair.

19.3, the hurdles are just too tricky for me! =O

=D A fellow Pennsylvanian!!! Maybe I saw you at Brickfair too! The world may never know.

I really and honestly enjoyed reading each of these stories, it was awesome to see how they came together from that one opening line from HH =D Team 3, sincere congratulations on a well deserved victory.

Well. Your author's note is almost longer than your first chapter. I'm trying to decide whether I should tell you I'm impressed or not impressed. =PThis makes two of us who hope you get around to writing more.But really, I have no real criticisms at this point. It looks like this will be a Makuta story. I love those =D I'll be keeping an eye out for updates.

1500th post special, wishing a happy birthday to B6. Happy birthday!!

Yeah, that is weird. In real life, I definitely consider my self more reserved than online. It may or may not have something to do with the lack of real life ducklings to facilitate conversation. But yeah, Kraggh hit the nail on the head there, and I quote: So much yes. The internet is nice because everyone is a creep. I mean, isn't that why we write up profile pages and all that jazz?

Heyo, sorry it's taken me so long to get back to you about these reviews. But yeah, thank you! And I must agree with you, I'm not a fan of drawn out violence, but I figured it was a good opportunity to expand my writing a bit. Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed =) I don't really remember at this point, whose idea it was first, but it was fun to write. Heh, yeah. Nonelemental shadow was actually the biggest knot I had to work through. And I'm flattered you'll use my description XP Again, I'm glad you enjoyed, and also, you should go read Tyler's version too.

Okay, one question I need to get off my chest. Grochi was the leader of his Toa Team. Grochi's team was Lesovikk's team? Lesovikk was the leader of Lesovikk's team. Did they lead together? Did Lesovikk take over after Grochi left? Am I totally missing something?But yeah,echoing what others have said, I'm not big on blatant backstories either, but your conversational writing style here made up for that. I have very few nitpicks, I think I'll let them slide this time because I feel like I annoy peole with them. One thing I definitely did like was the ending, the jump from verb tense and POV was not abrupt or choppy, the transition was just right. I'm not sure exactly how you pulled that off, but you did a good job. Looking back, I think part of that may have been that you didn't lose the conversational tone of your narration, you still address the reader as 'you', it tied the story together nicely.Anyways, I can't really say anything that hasn't already been said. Keep up the good work, Grochi. =)

'Lazy', which is a combination of both, actually. Also, 'busy' and 'my brain is no good for dedicated RPing'. But yeah. Thanks.

Nitpicicks -- 0Criticisms – 0Looks like this will be a short review.I’d love to go off on a tangent about the flow of your writing and the natural dialogue etc. etc. and I totally would, too, but it seems unnecessary when the story can just speak for itself. It’s short and sweet enough to do so easily.Anyways, I think it’s safe to say that I know, at least vaguely, how write offs work. So I can appreciate that you managed to crank out 600+ words. In your author’s note, you mentioned that this story was just a glimpse of a character that you are working on. Best of luck with his story, if you are still currently writing it (if you’ve finished, I’d love to read it).Okay, actually, I lied. One nitpick, just for the sake of nitpicking. Old habits die hard. The word ‘advancing’ made me think of like, a predator advancing for the kill, or like, some kind of show down. Just to throw in my two cents.Also, one thing I did like. You weren’t over-the-top with anything. Everything was very realistic. One example of this that I wanted to point out is the description of Liam’s eyes. ‘beautiful, brown’, and ‘big chocolate-colored’, were the two that I could find. I mean, I’ve seen like hundred word descriptions of eyes before, and as creative as they were, they were as boring as an uncreative simile. So props for under-exaggerating :DAnyways, good work has been done here. Thanks for a short and sweet read. =D

For those who haven't seen, Kal Grochi has taken over Lhikan's GM character for me, give him a round of applause.

Oh oh oh oh oh!!! Les Mis!! I love it more than TDKR, I must admit. But yes, echoing what Velox said. They're both awesome.