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a goose

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Blog Entries posted by a goose

  1. a goose

    ;_;

    By a goose,

    I am now in what one might call a 'long-distance relationship'. The only time I'll definitely see my girlfriend again is next year. HOPEFULLY we'll be able to meet up before then and still manage to hide from our parents that we're going out (her mum despises me. Any time I'm standing with her and I look over at her mother she's giving me a look that says "If you lay one finger on my daughter, I will kill you.").
    So, no more relationship entries for a while. Also, expect me to be self-pitying, irritable, and generally depressed for them next while.
     
    - Vorex
  2. a goose

    "It's A Choice."

    By a goose,

    Please do not take this entry as a personal attack. Although I do reference another blog post in it, I am not making this simply to argue with that person; I am making this because of an opinion expressed in it which causes me pain and because I feel that I need to say something. This is not about the people who make these comments so much as it is about the comments themselves, and the reasons that I find them hurtful.
     
    I have not gotten involved in this kind of thing in the past, but I feel that it's time I speak up, even if I am not as eloquent as some of our other members.
     
    BZPower is, for the most part, a loving and respectful community. There are times when it is not, but I must agree with Sumiki's most recent entry when I say that for the most part I am proud of this site's members. But I'm not going to focus on that. I'm going to focus on a very specific element of this which is deeply hurtful to me.
     
    To begin, I am going to admit that I am bisexual. As such it stands to reason that I will be offended by homophobia and blatant bigotry. For the most part, though, I do my best to tune it out -- these people are ignorant, and for all I care they can continue to be.
     
    But tonight, I saw a blog post which I cannot ignore, because that post stated that sexuality is a choice. It then went on to state that whether or not one believes sexuality is a choice is up to them.
     
    I did not choose my sexuality. You do not have the right to tell me that I chose my sexuality. That is ridiculous.
     
    I have been told before that I chose my sexuality. I have been told before that my sexuality does not exist. Well, to those of you who believe this, please, introduce me to the world you live in; I imagine it's one heck of a lot more pleasant than mine.
     
    If sexuality were a choice, do you think that we would choose a life of insecurity and oppression?
     
    Anyone who believes sexuality is a choice is very clearly wrong. And yet, I have had people tell me that I chose this. I am going to be completely honest and say that if I had the choice, I would choose to be heterosexual. The fact that I even have to think this is proof that there is something very seriously wrong here, and it isn't me or people like me.
     
    "But," one might argue, "What if you made the choice in order to seek attention?"
     
    I am not an attention seeker. I did not wake up one day and decide, "I'm going to be bisexual, that sounds like fun."
     
    Why would someone believe that? Why would someone think that I or anyone else would want to have the kind of internal conflict that comes from this?
    I have been struggling with my sexuality for the past two years of my life. One of my best friends, among the first people who I made aware of it, helped me through the struggle to actually say the word 'bisexual'. I was so ashamed of myself, so scared of what I was, that I genuinely could not say it out loud, even just to him. This is the effect of the homophobic environment I've been raised in, that most of us have likely been raised in. I hated myself because of something I could not change, and to some degree I still do. Tell me that that was a choice. Tell me that I wanted this. (Side note: Please don't)
     
    I am ashamed and scared of who I am, and I am ashamed and scared to admit it, and it is because of 'beliefs' and 'opinions' like these.
     
    I am going to end this entry here, because although I have more to say I do not particularly want to say it for fear of going over the top. I don't like being hated, and I don't want other people to feel hated as a result of my actions. Although I was going to keep the comments on this entry open, I have decided after thinking about it that it may be for the best that I keep it locked, given that I am worried that this entry may come off as aggressive or as an attack on certain people. If anyone who reads this does, however, want to comment, I encourage you to PM me.
     
    - Indefatigable Individual
  7. a goose

    200th Entry

    By a goose,

    This is an honour, it really is. I would like to thank... um... no-one, actually. I don't really want to thank anyone. For instance, I'm not going to thank Impulse (or whatever he's called now) for introducing me to blogs. I'm not going to thank B6 and Dimensioneer for helping me out with the problems I've had with my premier membership, because without them I wouldn't have this blog. I'm not going to thank each and every one of the people who has commented in this blog, because that is a heck of a lot of people.
    Which, unsurprisingly, leaves me with no-one to thank. So I'm just going to go celebrate this achievement in front of a mirror and try to ignore the sticky note on my back that reads 'kick this egotistical moron'.
     
    - Vorex
  9. a goose
    As you all know, I have made a lot of posts. I have very nearly made 4000 counted posts, in fact.
    So, I can reveal, that once I have reached my 3,999th post I will not post again until I have posted a short story, titled Aftershock. Then I will return to posting again.
    You can read it if you wish, you don't really need to have read anything else I have written.
     
    - Vorex
  11. a goose

    A Big Jump

    By a goose,

    I am about to take a big step in what they call 'Growing Up'. I will be staying at home, alone, for the first time.
    Which, basically, means that I can watch MLP:FIM in peace, without worrying about my parents or my little brother thinking I'm 'weird'.
    I mean, how would they get that idea? XP
     
    - Paradoxophobia
  14. a goose
    Is when you're faced with players who play less realistically than a Pokémon game, whose characters are more lifeless than some roadkill and whose grammar and spelling are worse than that of my 9-year-old brother.
    I'm not naming any specific people here, but, guys, everyone's had this problem at some point, right?
     
    - Austin Powers
  16. a goose

    A Short Second

    By a goose,

    Hello, reader. If you are reading this, then well done! You are now 'not normal'. Because normal people tend to ignore this blog. You can take that however you wish. I'd prefer you took it as a compliment, though, as I have more than enough enemies on BZP at the moment.
     
    Well, if you're still reading this, you must have taken it as a compliment, so I'll get to the point:
    I recently heard someone use the phrase 'a short second'. I've figured out that it's useless, as a second is a specific measurement. There can't be a short or a long second.
    So why do people use the phrase? What's the point in it?
     
    - PtVM
  17. a goose
    The blogs on BZP are a place for opinions, for stories, and far too often for arguments.
     
    The arguments, I do not take part in, for fear of hurting myself or others.
     
    My stories, I do not share, because those few I have I'd prefer not to share with the internet.
     
    And my opinions have been stated by others already, more eloquently than I could ever hope to share them.
     
     
    But I'm far too inactive here, and as such I'm going to take part in two of these anyway.
     
     
    As regards stories:
     
    A few weeks ago, I was in Donegal. I would love to say I made friends, and in fact I did, although I lost them soon thereafter. But the most important thing, the most enduring thing, about this short holiday was that while in Donegal I bought a stuffed waterfowl of the ambiguous white nature.
     
    Now, I love stuffed toys. I adore them. I have at least fifty, although most are unfortunately missing. And this is something I've shared with someone about whom I care a great deal. And when I was in that little souvenir shop, I thought of this person, and I remembered how much I cared about them, and I wanted to buy them something. And I saw this ambiguous white waterfowl, and it was gorgeous -- it was beautiful, it was adorable, I saw it and all I wanted to do was hug it (it resembled something between a grown swan and a gosling). So I bought this ambiguous white waterfowl, and later named her Gary.
     
    I did not believe that I would ever get the chance to give Gary to the aforementioned person. This person, like many others for whom I've come to care a great deal, was not talking to me, and hadn't in over a month. This was sad, although not surprising -- I'm not the easiest person to live with, due to various aspects of my personality, and people do eventually come to be fed up with me. Those that don't, I respect very much, despite their being few in number. So I kept Gary at home, I left her on my desk, I looked at her and I thought of this person, and of the other people who have come to dislike me. And that bittersweet nostalgia which some of you might relate to filled me, and I came to care a great deal about Gary, too.
     
    Then, just about a week after I came home from Donegal, feeling depressed and guilty, something amazing happened: this person began talking to me again.
    I was shocked. I was happy, of course, but shocked. And, you know, that day is one I count as the best of my life. At least, the night -- we stayed up all night, just talking to each other. We weren't talking about anything in particular, just talking. And I really enjoyed that.
     
    Some people are easier to talk to than others. And what I love about conversations with some people is how they don't rigidly fit a topic, how they gradually grow, evolve, go into tangents, into changes, because the conversation is alive and exciting. This person is the kind with whom I can have a conversation like that, and I had one for eight hours straight.
     
    I told this person about Gary during that conversation, showed them a photo. At the time, it was more a joke than anything else, but they agreed with me, they had that little moment of squeeing over how frickin' adorable she was. And I came to realise that Gary wasn't mine anymore.
     
    So yesterday, I met up in town with this person and a few other friends, and I gave them Gary. And that moment as they took Gary, while rather short-lived given I had to leave, will hopefully remain with me. Because -- from what I could tell -- they were happy. And, for the first time in far too long, I feel genuinely happy too.
     
     
    I will share an opinion tomorrow, but I hope that for now this is enough. Byeeeeeeeee~
     
    - Indefatigable Individual
  18. a goose
    Well, I finally have the script for the first episode of Author Avatars written out. As Wotz knows, it won't just be my avatars. There's another pretty awesome character who DEFINITELY isn't based on a particular character from something else. Nope. Not based on him at all. And the title and tag DEFINITELY aren't clues. Because he isn't based on anyone. Got it?
     
    - Vorex
  22. a goose

    ama y'all

    By a goose,

    scenester swag yo
     
    ask stuff if you feel that way inclined, this is primarily just so that i can say that i did this so long after it was cool that i'm doing it before it next becomes cool
    it's the only way to retain hipster cred in this economy
     
    - slawwwwwwwth
  23. a goose

    An Iconic Image (Almost)

    By a goose,

    Well, here is an image those of you who read/read my comics will find iconic:

     
    Yep, I managed to make a joke about the past and present tense of 'read' being the same, even though it had nothing to do with the topic.
     
    - Vorex
  24. a goose

    And... We're Back!

    By a goose,

    I've done some stuff. I made a wiki page for Incommodo on the BZPRPG Encyclopaedia. I talked to Stormageddon, and me and him planned something totally insane and completely hilarious for Incommodo. And I cried silently as I wished for BZPower's return.
    So, not much. XP
     
    - Vorex
  25. a goose
    wow i'm blogging so much
    this is what happens when i don't go out and socialise on saturdays, i guess
     
     
    but yeah, any Fringe fans around here? i could've sworn i saw the name being thrown around somewhere on the blogs at some point, and i'd be interested in talking to any of y'all that watch it/have watched it 'cause it's a pretty cool show
     
    - Indigo Individual
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