a goose

I NO, RITE?

Good news is, the lab boys say the symptoms of asbestos poisoning show a median latency of forty-four point six years, so if you're thirty or older, you're laughing. Worst case scenario, you miss out on a few rounds of canasta, plus you forwarded the cause of science by three centuries. I punch those numbers into my calculator, it makes a happy face.

Those of you helping us test the repulsion gel today, just follow the blue line on the floor.

Those of you who volunteered to be injected with praying mantis DNA, I've got some good news and some bad news.

Bad news is we're postponing those tests indefinitely. Good news is we've got a much better test for you: Fighting an army of mantis men. Pick up a rifle and follow the yellow line. You'll know when the test starts.