Lewa0111 Nuva

Thanks for the info about word/character limits, Reznas, but I don't think that's the problem. Both chapters are sitting at around 3,000 words each, which is not much longer than most of my chapters (and considerably less than one or two long ones I've written!) The links to the posts: Post #1 Post #2 I just noticed in addition to the chapters being cut off, my signature at the end of the cut-off posts seems to be doing some weird things too. Interesting... Lewa0111 Nuva

Hi everyone! Recently I've been having a recurring issue with a few of my posts in the Comedies forum. I've never seen this happen to me before and am not sure what is causing it or how to fix it (aside from resorting to double-posting, which is against the rules). What's happening is that my last few story chapters in one particular comedy are posting okay, but then a day or so later when I go back to look at the topic, they are both cut-off; they just end abruptly at a certain point (the same point in the chapters every time). I have edited the posts and added in the missing parts, only to again return to see them back to the cut-off versions. Strangely, though at first I thought it was a length issue, my similar-length chapters in both the same story and one of my other stories have been just fine. Has anyone else encountered an issue like this? Any help would be appreciated! Lewa0111 Nuva

Thanks, TOG! Glad you enjoyed it. The Nuva Inn A BIONICLE comedy by Me! Chapter 36: Koldy the Snow-Matoran OR The Singing Contest, Round 2 Onua: *sighs* Are we gonna be parodying song titles for the entire contest? Narrator: Why do you keep complaining to me? We've been over this. I'm not in charge of the titles! Onua: I know! But it's fun. Narrator: You little~! Onua: All's fair in love, war, and annoying the Narrator. Narrator: Just shut up. Onua: Never! Narrator: WejointheToaNuvaastheycontinuethesingingcontest! Onua: ...Darn, chapter's starting. You win this time! *In the auditorium...* Lewa: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH-- *CRASH!* Lewa: Oww... What was that for? Onua: Abusing Pohatu, obviously. *Everyone but Tahu nods in agreement* Tahu: I just like burning stuff. Onua: ...Mostly, anyway. Lewa: But I never-- *Everyone glares at him* Lewa: Okay, fine, I guess I've been a little harsh on you, Pohatu. I'll try to go easier on you from now on. Gali: That's not good enough... Pohatu: Actually, I don't mind. That's good enough for me! Gali: Okay, never mind, then. Lewa: Even though I'm promising to go easier on you, I still vote your song a zero. Getting blasted into the air really didn't help. Tahu: Why am I not surprised? Lewa0111? Lewa0111: *shrugs* I guess we go with it. So Lewa and Kopaka are tied at 8 points each, then. Can't say I was expecting much else. Gali: Good point. So, should we move on with the contest right away? Takanuva: No. Kopaka: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! Takanuva: I think somebody needs to check on the hotel. I'm sure we've got quite a few guests by now. Gali: That's a good point. Mana Leader: Yeah exactly! Especially since I, just arrived! Lewa: Okay, we're taking a break to run the hotel. Places, everybody! Be back here in one hour. I'll be in the Manager's Suite doing managery things. *Later, in the pool room...* Gali: Well, things look fine over here--hey, wait a second! Po-Matoran: AAAAAAAAAAHHHH! HELP ME LIFEGUARD SOMEBODY ANYBODY HELP I AM DROWNING!! Narrator: Gali lifts up one of her aqua axes, summoning the water to wash the Po-Matoran out of the pool. Gali: This job is so easy sometimes. Po-Matoran: *COUGH!* Thanks for saving me. That was terrifying! Gali: ...You were in the shallow end. The water only came up to your knees. Po-Matoran: Oh. Really? Gali: Yep. Wait a minute, why were you in the pool anyway? Po-Matoran hate water! Po-Matoran: The sign said "Loop Room." I felt like riding a roller coaster. Gali: That's weird. Hey, wait a second--GET BACK HERE YOU STUPID RAHKSHI! RLC: Ha, ha! *scampers off* Gali: Sorry. He does that sometimes. Po-Matoran: Well, at least that explains the sign. Anyway, I'm off to the Stone Room. *leaves* Gali: "Stone Room?" ...TAKANUVA! Narrator: Takanuva crashes in through the roof, then repairs the roof instantly with his light powers. Takanuva: Yes? Gali: Did you build a "stone room" addition to this hotel recently? Takanuva: No, why? I did build a storeroom the other day, though... Gali: Oh no. *muffled pounding* Po-Matoran: MMMMMPH! LET ME OUT OF HERE! Takanuva: *sighs* I'll take care of it. *At the front desk...* BEC: HithereVahkiuhhdoyouwanttostayorsomething? Vahki1: <we seek the holder of the mask of vahki> Vahki5: <also we would like to stay for seven point three five days> Fred: Wow, they actually understood you. That's a new one. Vahki3: <pickles> All Other Vahki: < > BEC: Okaysoyourestilllookingforthatstupidmaskfromlikeforeverago? Lewahasitgoaskhimalsothatwillbe2873468263widgetsforallofyoutostay! Vahki2: <do not insult the mask of vahki> Vahki4: <aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh> Vahki1: <ignore him please and take the widgets out of turaga dumes bank account thank you> BEC: Okaythatsgonnabeeasygoaheadyouareonfloor2590! AndLewasintheManagersSuite. Vahki1: <thank you for your assistance> Vahki3: <pickles> Vahki1: <vahki3 would you please just shut up> Vahki3: <pickles> Vahki1: <ugh> Narrator: The Vahki all (somehow) crowd themselves into Lewa's private elevator. *In the Manager's Suite...* Lewa: Ahh, this is the life. Hey, cool, we just made 2,873,468,263 more widgets! I should give myself a raise. *The Vahki enter* Vahki1: <hello holder of the mask of vahki> Lewa: Vahki? What do you want? Vahki1: <we seek you for we need your help> Vahki6: <turaga dume fired us and we have nowhere to go> Vahki5: <can we stay with you pleeeeeeeeeeeeease> Lewa: Well, you'll have to keep paying me...er, I mean "us"...but sure. Vahki1: <that is acceptable please withdraw all required funds from turaga dumes account thank you> Vahki5: <also can we fight that bohrok army again that was fun> Lewa: Uh...I'll talk to Takanuva maybe. Now, can you all please leave? I'm busy! Stupid mask... Vahki2: <do not insult the mask of vahki> Vahki4: <aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh> Narrator: With that, all six Vahki leave. *Meanwhile, in the restaurant...* Tava: All right, I have one order of Bula and Tridax Pies ready, for a "Krika." Krekka: Duuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhh... Narrator: Krekka raises his hand, and Tava drops the pies off at his table. Tava: Uh, okay, here's a Fried Muaka Steak Pie, for a "Krahka." Wait, didn't you just order the Bula and Tridax Pie? Krika: No, I think that one's mine. I'm Krika, not Krekka. Tava: Oh, okay. Pie in the face! Krika: Wait, what the-- Narrator: Luckily, Krika dodges the pie by dematerializing, then rematerializing and grabbing it out of the air. Tava continues to look down the list of orders. Tava: And one Cauliflower Supreme Pie, ordered by "Krekka." Krahka: Must be mine, I haven't been served yet! Krekka: Hey, this isn't cauliflower! Krika: Wait a minute, I didn't order Muaka Steak! Where's my real order? Krahka: Cauliflower? Since when did I order that? Tava: Uh-oh...HEY TAHU! Narrator: As Tahu emerges from the kitchen, a huge fireball explodes behind him. He quickly slams the doors. Tahu: Uhh...might want to let Takanuva know we'll need a new kitchen. Tava: Never mind that. Here. *hands Tahu the order list* Tahu: Hmm...okay, which of you is "Krekka?" *Krika, Krahka, and Krekka all raise their hands* And which one is "Krika?" *All three raise their hands again* ...And "Krahka?" *Again, all three raise their hands* Krika: I DEMAND A REFUND! Don't you have a policy for this kind of thing? Tahu: So...which would we rather have, an angry Makuta, or an angry Lewa? Tava: I choose...FREE PIES! *starts flinging pies everywhere* Krekka: YAY PIE! Narrator: As everyone in the restaurant scrambles for the pies (conveniently blocking Krika in the process), Tava and Tahu quickly run away. *Later, in the auditorium...* Tahu: Hi guys, sorry we're late. Gali: Why are you two covered in pie? ...You know what, I don't think I want to know. Tahu: Yeah, it's a long story. Also, Takanuva, you'll need to rebuild the kitchen again. Takanuva: Why am I not surprised? Tava: I think I'm next, actually. Let's start the contest! Onua: Great idea, except we're missing one of our judges. As usual, Lewa's late. Tahu: Phew. That means we're still early! Lewa: Okay, let's start this thing! Right on time! Gali: How is that on time? You're 50 minutes later than you said we would start! Lewa: Pretty sure I said we'd start when I got back. Gali: No, you said "one hour." Lewa: ...No I didn't. Gali: But-- Lewa: ALL RIGHT, CONTEST TIME! Tava, you're up next. Tava: *shrugs* Gali: Go ahead. It's hopeless trying to argue with this airhead anyway. Lewa: What did you call me? Gali: "Airhead." It just means you're a Toa of Air. It's a compliment. Lewa: Oh, okay. Everyone but Lewa: Narrator: Tava climbs up on stage, and starts running around like a maniac. A few seconds later, the entire thing is now decorated in Tava's usual style, which is to say, covered in pie, the pi symbol, and the number 3.14 everywhere. Tava: My turn! I'm here to perform "Billy the Off-Color Pie," based on the Naming Day song "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Kikanalo." Also, for this performance, Takanuva and Kopaka will be assisting me. Narrator: Takanuva and Kopaka climb up onto the stage and stand behind Tava as backup singers. Tava: Okay, here I go! Ahem: Billy, the off-color Pie (Takanuva: No,) Had a very strange color, (Kopaka: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!) That if you ever saw it (Takanuva: No,) You would rather have another. (Kopaka: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!) All of the other Pies (Takanuva: No,) Wouldn't let Billy join in, (Kopaka: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!) They thought he looked so weird (Takanuva: No,) So they threw him in a bin! (Kopaka: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!) Then one International Tava Day, Tava came to say: (Takanuva: No,) (Kopaka: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!) "Billy, you aren't quite a Pie, Instead, you should be a Pi!" Then how the other Pies loved him (Takanuva: No,) As they took from him an "E," (Kopaka: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!) "Billy, the off-color Pi, (Takanuva: No,) You're an honorary Pi-i-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" (Takanuva: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!) (Kopaka: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!) Narrator: With the song finished, Tava and his two "backup singers" take their bows. Tava pulls out his Pie Dish of Pie and Pi. Tava: PIE IN THE FACE! Narrator: Tava pies everyone, including the judges, in the face with exactly 3.14 Naming Day Pies before jumping off the stage and landing in his seat. Lewa: Hey, I got a Money Pie! Cool! Automatic 4 from me! Tahu: Isn't bribery against the rules? Lewa0111: Actually, it isn't, funny enough. Guess I forgot to mention that one. Oh well. I vote a 1. Kopaka was getting annoying after a while. Also, this pie ruined my brand new mask! Tahu: Wait, what kind of mask do you wear, anyway? Looks like a Miru Nuva. Lewa0111: True, but it's actually a Mask of Author Powers. I just have the ability to make it look like whatever I want, and I happen to like the Miru Nuva. Lewa: Wait, so if one of us hypothetically were to take your mask and wear it ourselves...COMPLETELY hypothetical, of course... Lewa0111: It would be like the Ignika and burn you to a crisp. Only Author Beings can wear it safely. Lewa: Darn. There goes my ultimate "Get Rich Quick" idea... Tahu: I give him a 3. The song was fun. Lewa0111: Okay, thank you, Tava. Lewa, who's next? Lewa: *reads binder* Looks like that would be Fred. Narrator: Fred slithers up to the stage, stares up at the microphone, then grows a huge tree stump beneath him until he is at the same height as the Toa Nuva. Fred: We really need to make shorter microphones. Not all of us have legs, you know! BEC: WHEEEyeahgoFredyoucandoitwinthecontestohwaitnojustget2ndplacebecauseImgonnawin! Fred: ...Uhh, thanks? Lewa0111: Fred? Your song? Fred: Oh, right. My song is called "O Plant Control," based on the song "O Naming Day Tree." Here goes: O Plant Control O Plant Control, This power is so awesome! O Plant Control O Plant Control, I can do lots, and then some! Like growing vines, and swinging fast, Or making tree Trunks to squish ants! *grows a tree trunk and squishes a randomly appeared anthill* O Plant Control O Plant Control, And don't you dare call it dumb! O Plant Control O Plant Control, Though I'm just a kraata, O Plant Control O Plant Control, I'm strong as any Toa! I can wrap Makuta in grass, Or hit Piraka With a huge branch! O Plant Control O Plant Control, I love this power, no duh! O Plant Control O Plant Control, Though many powers there are, O Plant Control O Plant Control, It's clearly the best, by far! Beats Power Scream, Weather Control, And easily, Letter Control O Plant Control O Pants For Troll, The RLC's the greatest! --HEY! RLC: That's the last time you insult me, brother! Fred: I thought we were cousins... RLC: Ah, we're all brothers. And cousins. Whatever! Fred: Sorry, guys, I gotta go...hey BEC, can I borrow some of your sugar? BEC: NEVERdonottakemyprecioussugarohokayfineyoucanhavesomehereyougo! Narrator: With no other choice, Fred opens the bag of sugar and chomps it all down in one bite BEC-style. Fred: WOOHOOmanthisisawesometakethatRLCyoullnevercatchmealsoImtalkingwaytoofasttomesswithmylettersnow! RLC: What the-- Narrator: As Fred bounces hyperly around the auditorium causing plants to grow everywhere, the RLC gets tangled up in vines and shoots blasts of letter control power out of his staff at random. The Rahkshi and the Kraata continue their fight until they both go flying out the window. Lewa, Tahu, and Lewa0111: Tahu: I vote...1. The song was good, but fire is way better than plant control! Lewa: No way! Air is clearly superior to everything. Tahu: WHAT WAS THAT!?!?!?!?!?!? Pohatu: By the way, I love-- Lewa0111: Old joke, bad timing, not funny. Tahu, Lewa, can we please calm down? Tahu: NEVER! Lewa0111: *sighs* Gali? Gali: Oh, all right. Narrator: Gali summons a rainstorm, drenching Tahu and Lewa. Tahu: :onwater: Lewa: :onwater: Lewa0111: That's enough fighting for one day. Anyway, Fred, I vote you a 4. Good effort despite the RLC. Lewa: I vote 3. Who's next? Gali: That would be me. Or, rather, that would be us! Tahu: Why, who else-- Narrator: Gali once again splits into two people. Tahu: Oh, right. I hate it when she does that. "They do that?" Whatever. Gali1: Our song is going to be a duet, entitled, "I Wish You A Happy Naming Day." Based on the song of the same name. Gali2: Obviously... Gali1: Who asked you? Gali2: I did! Or, you did. We did? Tahu: Now I'm even more confused... Gali1: Whatever, let's just begin the song. I wish you a happy Naming Day, I wish you a happy Naming Day, I wish you a happy Naming Day, And a Merry New Year! Gali2: Hold on, "Merry New Year?" Nobody says that! Gali1: We've been over this. "Happy New Year" would be redundant. Just sing your verse! Gali2: *sigh* Fine. I wish you a happy Naming Day, I wish you a happy Naming Day, I wish you a happy Naming Day, And a Happy New Year! Both Galis: Good tidings to you, Whatever you are: Matoran, Skakdi, Toa: HAVE A (Gali1: MERRY) (Gali2: HAPPY) NEW YEAR! Gali1: See? You ruined it! Now it sounds awful. We're going to fail. Gali2: The only thing making this song "awful" is your arguing. Gali1: MY arguing? We're the same person! You're just as much at fault! Gali2: Can we just finish the song? Gali1: GLADLY! Gali2: I wish you a happy Naming Day-- Gali1: No, I wish you a happy Naming Day-- Gali2: Hey, that was my verse! Gali1: No, it was definitely mine. You sang the last verse. Gali2: Wrong, we both sang it together! Gali1: Just shut up! *crickets chirping* Lewa: ...Awkward... Tahu: Anybody got any matches? I'm bored. Onua: HEY, GALIS! YOU'RE BOTH THE SAME PERSON!! Gali1: Oh, right. Guess I can't tell myself to shut up without making me shut up as well...I'm confused... Gali2: I wish you a happy Naming Day, I wish you a happy Naming Day-- Gali1: IT'S STILL MY TURN! Gali2: NO IT ISN'T! Gali1: I wish you a happy Naming Day-- Gali2: I wish you a happy Naming Day-- Gali1: I WISH YOU A HAPPY NAMING DAY! Gali2: I WISH YOU A HAPPY NAMING DAY!! Mana Leader: Well, this is, Awkward. Fred: Is anyone here actually enjoying this? Takanuva: No. Kopaka: AAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!! Onua: Talk about the most awkwardly passive-aggressive carol ever. Gali1: OKAY, THAT'S IT! Narrator: Gali1 and Gali2 charge at each other, aqua axes raised, and accidentally re-combine into one person when they hit. Gali: Well. ...That's one way to make this work... WE wish you a happy Naming Day, AND A HAPPERRY NEW YEAR! Lewa: Is it over yet? Tahu: Looks like it. I vote zero. Lewa: Definitely a zero. Lewa0111: Actually, "Happerry" isn't a real word, so we should just disqualify them instead. Gali: Forgot about that rule... Lewa: Good idea! That makes this much easier. DISQUALIFIED! Gali: I've really got to get my other self under control, I guess. Oh well, it was fun anyway. Maybe we can do an encore performance! Kopaka: Don't. Takanuva: TakaBluvaNuvaStuvaTubaWuvaLuvaPuva!! Onua: Don't tell me that's going to become a running joke now. Takanuva: No. Kopaka: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!! Takanuva: Sweet revenge. Tahu: QUIET, or I'll light you all on fire! Narrator: Everyone immediately shuts up. Lewa0111: And next up will be BEC, with his song. Wait, where'd he go? Fred: No idea, I haven't seen him since I borrowed his sugar a while back. Lewa0111: Oh. What happened with the Rahkshi of Letter Control, come to think of it? Fred: No letters inside a tree trunk. He'll have a tough time getting out of that one... Onua: Remind me never to make Fred mad. Pohatu: Never make Fred mad. Narrator: Onua just stares at Pohatu. Pohatu: What? You asked me to remind you! Lewa: Okay, time for another intermission. Kopaka, you look in the ice rink, Takanuva, check the garage and kitchens (and rebuild said kitchen while you're there), Onua can look outside, Tahu, look in the arena and restaurant, Gali, check the pool and front desk, and Pohatu, check all the rooms. Pohatu: All 9,321 floors' worth of them!?!?!?!?!?!? By the way, I love exclamation points and question marks together! Onua: Did he just trigger his own joke? Gali: Lewa, I thought you were going to be nicer to Pohatu! Lewa: Oh yeah. Darn it...okay, Pohatu, switch with Gali. Gali: That's NOT what I had in mind. Lewa: Well, you deserve it for that terrible performance! Gali: Why don't you check the rooms, then? Lewa: I have important managery stuff to do. Gali: *sighs* Why do I-- Nidhiki: Hey, that's my line! Gali: ...care? Nidhiki: Oh. Never mind. Narrator: Nidhiki then vanished as randomly as he had appeared. Lewa: All right, that settles it! Intermission begins now! THE END Onua: Hey Narrator, can I ask you something? Narrator: No. Onua: Okay, great. When did you take over the Caption Writing Guy's job? *What are you talking about? I'm still here!* Onua: I know. But you used to be used for all the descriptions. Now Narrator's taken that over. You only get to do transitions and more basic stuff now. When did that happen? *Eh, I don't mind. It was getting tedious anyway.* Narrator: We switched over not too long ago. I'm surprised it took you this long to notice, honestly. Onua: Oh, sure, now it's my fault. Narrator: In fact, that reminds me...the Title Writing Guy owes me 20 widgets. Onua: YOU HAD A BET!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? Pohatu: By the way, I-- Onua: Hey, you're not allowed in here! Bob the Word Counting Matoran: This chapter has words. Next: The final round of the contest! Cast your votes now! ~Lewa# Studios

What. Seriously, that just about sums up my reaction, along with uncontrollable laughter...good thing I'm by myself or I'd have gotten a lot of weird looks. I'd quote my favorite parts, but that would be the entire post, and probably considered spam, so. Probably a bad idea. Welcome back to Comedies! Lewa0111 Nuva

Guess what I found? Another chapter of this old thing! EAST-WEST-NORTH HIGH SCHOOL, THE GYM Jaller and Takua were preparing their warm-up stretches before kohlii practice. "Hey Takua," Jaller said, "Do you know about that Legends of Metru Nui thing? Is it true you get a guest appearance in Lewa0111's comedy Quest for the Comedy Jokes of Power just for auditioning?" "Who cares?" asked Takua. "I've never even read that comedy, and I don't plan to." Jaller rolled his eyes. "You're not still mad about Tava beating you out to play yourself, are you?" Any further argument was cut short when a kohlii ball came flying out of the air and bonked Jaller on the head. "Ow!" he exclaimed. "Who threw that?" Laughing, a Le-Matoran named Cameo ran away, having made his cameo appearance. Jaller glared after him, then shrugged. "Okay, team," he shouted, "line up!" "Who died and made you king?" another team member shot back. The ghost of King Henry VI appeared out of nowhere behind him. "I diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiddddd..." the ghost said spookily, then disappeared. " " everyone emoticonned. "Okay, let's start our warm-ups!" Jaller shouted. "You remember the theme song, right?" asked Hewkii. "Get'cha Head into Kohlii!" Jaller replied. " " the rest of the team emoticonned. "Stop capitalizing the 'k'!" "It doesn't count if it's in a song title," muttered Jaller. With that, he began singing: "Coach said to, Fake right, and Break left! Watch out for the pie And keep your eye on the goalie! You gotta run, hold on to your stick, And don't be scared to Do Takua's move!" As he did every time they got to this part, Takua glared at this reference to his not-perfected-yet move he was working on. The song continued. "Just make sure that you get the ball now, 'Cause when you get it then the crowd'll go wild! Second chance, get the ball in the goal, And don't be afraid to hit the right noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooote!" The entire kohlii team stared at him. "You put an extra 'o' in the 'no'!" Sidorak gasped. Jaller blushed. "Whoops," he commented. "Sorry." He continued: "And don't be afraid to hit the right nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooote! You gotta: Get'cha get'cha get'cha head into Kohlii," "Stop, stop, stop capitalizing the 'k'!" the rest of the team answered back. "Gotta get'cha get'cha get'cha head into Kohlii," "Stop, stop, stop capitalizing the 'k'! Whoooo!" Jaller sat down. He had just realized something strange: "Why did I hear the song, On the karaoke machine at the party before, And that doesn't rhyme at all..." "Should I go for it?" he muttered to himself. Then he shook his head. "I've really gotta stop going crazy. Yikes." Everyone stared at him. "What are you talking to yourself for?" asked Takua. Jaller looked up, realizing that the entire kohlii team was now staring at him. "Umm...nothing?" "Oh, okay." Takua would probably have said something more, but then Hewkii randomly shouted, "DANCE BREAK! WHOOO!!" and began to dance. Jaller and Takua just looked at each other, shrugged, and watched Hewkii dance for a few moments before noticing that they were still in the middle of their theme song warm-ups and should really get back to it. Jaller then started singing once more: "You gotta: Get'cha, get'cha head into Kohlii," Hewkii looked disappointed at being interrupted in his random dance break, but reluctantly joined in with the rest of the team to continue the song. "Stop, stop, stop capitalizing the 'k'!" "Get'cha, get'cha head into Kohlii," "Stop, stop, stop capitalizing the 'k'!" "Come on! Get'cha head into Kohlii," "Stop, stop, stop capitalizing the 'k'!" This...continued for a while. With the song finally over, the team grabbed their kohlii sticks and threw the kohlii balls somewhere remotely close to the goal, as usual when finishing their warmups. The goal threw the kohlii balls back at them. "CAMEO!" shouted Jaller, as the practical joking Le-Matoran scampered out of the gym. "I swear, one of these days I'm going to throw him into the next storyline!" he said to Takua. Next: Auditions, and people who can't sing! ~Lewa# Studios Lewa0111

Congratulations; this comedy actually made the front page! I don't think a comedy's managed to do that in...probably forever... Lewa0111 Nuva

D'oh! Fixed both issues. (How in the world did I mix up Whenua and Onua? ) Now that you mention it, Matau does act quite similar to Kuzco, doesn't he? Oh no, I think I feel another comedy idea coming on..;. Lewa0111 Nuva

Alright then, I feel like it's time for a new chapter of Ask Matau!, don't you? I don't have many questions for him yet, so I decided to do something a bit different this time... Ask Matau! A BIONICLE comedy by Me! Chapter 25: Ask Whenua@ *In Matau's room, with Matau wearing fancy clothes...* Matau: Okay, Whenua, how do I look? Whenua: Trust me, you look fine. Though why aren't you wearing a tie? Matau: Long story, but let's just say it involved a dim-witted waiter, a flight around the world, and Kongu. Whenua: Sounds...uh...interesting. Matau: So now I won't wear ties. EVER. But you're sure everything else looks okay? Is my mask on straight? Whenua: You just hired Nuju to measure every tiny degree and spend an hour calculating things to make sure it was absolutely perfect! What's gotten into you, anyway? You're acting very...not-Matau-ish. Matau: I don't know! I just feel all weird, and...weird, and...uh, weird. Suukorak: ... Suukorak's Subtitles: {In other words, you're not feeling full of yourself, arrogant, and generally obnoxious?} Matau: *points to subtitles* YES! That. That is exactly how I'm feeling. I don't like it too much... Whenua: Wait a second, don't tell me you're actually feeling nervous! Matau: Of course I'm not! *Whenua and Suukorak stare at him* Matau: ...Okay, I'm a little nervous. *Whenua and Suukorak stare some more* Matau: ...Okay, a lot nervous! What if things go badly? What if I mess this up? What if Nokama doesn't like me? What if--? Whenua: Pretty sure even if you did mess everything up, things would still be exactly the same as they were before all this date and DVD quest and Pieism crossover mess started. See? Nothing to worry about. Matau: I guess so. *A web made of cheese suddenly shoots in through the door and grabs Matau* Roporak: Cheese! Boggarak: Roporak, you get back here right--wait, how and why is your webbing made of cheese? Roporak: I drank a whole carton of Easy-Cheese today! Boggarak: Ugh. Forget I asked. *Roporak drags Matau down the stairs with his webbing* Matau: Ow! Stairs! Ouch! Ow! Yowch! Owie! Oww! Stop! Yikes! Ow! *CRASH!* Matau: Oww... Nokama: Hi, Matau. I see you're ready for our date... Matau: Uh-hi-yeah-what-uh-duh. Oohnorak: *whispering* Did he swap brains with Krekka recently, or is it just me? Keelerak: *whispering* It's not just you. Nokama: Roporak, want some cheese? Roporak: CHEESE! Nokama: ...I'll take that as a yes. Fetch! *Nokama tosses a wheel of Swiss cheese out the window, and Roporak dives after it, taking his webbing with him* Keelerak: Well, that's certainly one way of getting rid of him. Matau: Hi Nokama, you look nice...Sorry about the cheese. *Nokama summons a wave of water that douses Matau and washes off the cheese* Matau: :onwater: Boggarak: That's not even a real emoticon! Nokama: Okay, you know what? Why don't we just get going. Matau, care to drive? Matau: Uhh...you know what? Maybe not. Oohnorak: OK WHAT THE KARZAHNI WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MATAU!?!?!?!?!?!? Pohatu: By the way, I love-- Everyone: Don't use that joke!! Pohatu: *vanishes* Whenua: *shrugs* Just get Matau back in the driver's seat. That'll get him back to normal. Nokama: Good idea. After you, Matau. Matau: Okay, fine... *Matau and Nokama go into the garage* Boggarak: This strikes me as a terrible idea. Whenua: It's worth it to get the old Matau back. Suukorak: ... Suukorak's Subtitles: {I dunno, the new Matau was starting to grow on me...} Matau (muffled): WOOHOO, let's drive! Come on, Nokama, check this out. *SCREECH!* *BANG!* *KA-BLAM!* Turaga Dume (muffled): Respect your elders, you whippersnappers! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!! Nokama (muffled): Wow, who knew Turaga could run that fast? YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Matau (muffled): Don't worry, we'll be there in no time! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Whenua: Well, sounds like he's back to normal. That's a relief. Boggarak: "Relief" in the loosest sense of the word. Keelerak: So, now what? Any ideas on what we should do while we wait for them to get back? Vohtarak: I know! Let's all play BIONICLE games online! I just started "Stop the Morbuzakh." Keelerak: Weren't you playing MNOGII last chapter? Vohtarak: Yeah, but I beat it! Whenua and All Visorak (besides Vohtarak): Vohtarak: What? Boggarak: You actually managed to beat that glitch-ridden mess of a game. How? Vohtarak: Took me a while, but I managed. So, who's up for a "Stop the Morbuzakh" tournament? Whenua: No thanks. You did give me an idea, though...speaking of computers, why don't we do a guest edition of the usual show? Vohtarak: Aww, but I liked my idea better... Boggarak: You're the only one. Trust me. Whenua: Then it is agreed. *Everyone looks around awkwardly* Whenua: Huh. For some reason I half-expected Nokama to show up right then. Oh well! *Oohnorak swings on a web past them into the living room* Oohnorak (singing): Computer-Man! Computer-Man! Answers e-mails better than Matau can! *Oohnorak crashes into the window* Boggarak: Well, that happened. Whenua: *shrugs* Okay then. Let's get started. *They all walk into the living room* Computer: You've got mail! ...Wait, you're not Matau. Where did he go? Keelerak: Believe it or not, he's actually on a date. With Nokama. Computer: WHAAAAAAAAAA--!? Boggarak: Yeah, that was pretty much all of our reactions, too. Whenua: So in the meantime, I thought I'd check my own e-mail and answer questions. Computer, log Matau out. Computer: *SLAM!* Logged out! Suukorak: ... Suukorak's Subtitles: {The computer sure likes their sound effects, don't they?} Whenua: Great, now log in to toaofdigging@toametru.com. Password: *whispering* V-H-I-S-O-L-A. Computer: Logged in! You have 58,261,897,628,034,756,892,37y,t80,237,462,058,723,084,756,280,764,592,836,450,873,465,237,560,823,765,890,237,645,765 new messages. Whenua: What the--? How long has it been since I checked my inbox, anyway? Computer: Last log-in was 597.43 years ago. Whenua: Well, uhh...that explains a lot. Eddie the Spam Deleter, do your stuff. Eddie: ERROR. User "toaofdigging" not registered to use this program. Keelerak: Whoa, he talked! Whenua: Oh come on! I've got to get myself a computer...Whatever. Fine, let's just start. Boggarak: This should be interesting... Whenua: Greetings, BZPower! Welcome to Ask Whenua@, the show where I, Whenua, answer your questions while Matau is busy on a date with Nokama. So, let's begin! Computer, display first message. Computer: Displaying Message 1. Whenua: Delete. Computer: *BRAAMP!* Deleted! Message 2. Whenua and All Visorak: Whenua: Yeah, no better way to answer that one, really. NEXT! Computer: *BRAAMP!* Deleted! Message 3. *Oohnorak jumps back in through the window* Oohnorak: Wow, an emoticon for a subject. That's a new one. Boggarak: Are we really gonna do this all day? Whenua: Well, unless Eddie cooperates, we don't have a choice. Boggarak: Ugh. I hate to suggest this, but...how about a montage? Keelerak: Good idea! Let's get through all of this spam. It'll go much faster that way! [MONTAGE!] Whenua: Nope. Computer: *BRAAMP!* Deleted! Whenua: Delete. Computer: *BRAAMP!* Deleted! Whenua: Ugh. No thanks. Computer: *BRAAMP!* Deleted! Whenua: Why do I bother? Nidhiki: My line! Whenua: Aren't you dead? Nidhiki: Oh yeah. Darn. *Nidhiki vanishes* Computer: *BRAAMP!* Deleted! Whenua: Obvious spam is obvious. Computer: *BRAAMP!* Deleted! Whenua: Really, Onewa? Don't you have better things to do? Computer: *BRAAMP!* Deleted! Whenua: These emoticon villains never quit... Computer: *BRAAMP!* Deleted! Whenua: No, I don't want discount Rahi fertilizer. Computer: *BRAAMP!* Deleted! Whenua: I like my mask just fine, thanks. Computer: *BRAAMP!* Deleted! Oohnorak: HEY! Don't even think about buying us, you stupid spammers! Computer: *BRAAMP!* Deleted! Whenua: "Talk like a Ko-Matoran in three easy steps?" Suukorak: ... Suukorak's Subtitles: {Oh, come on, it's not that easy!} Computer: *BRAAMP!* Deleted! Whenua: No, I'm not sending a billion widgets to the deposed ruler of the Southern Continent. Computer: *BRAAMP!* Deleted! Whenua: Okay, Onewa, you're not even trying anymore. Computer: *BRAAMP!* Deleted! Keelerak: Don't those emoticon villains ever get bored? Boggarak: I think this is what they do when they are bored. Computer: *BRAAMP!* Deleted! Whenua: NO. Just...NO. Computer: *BRAAMP!* Deleted! [/END MONTAGE!] Computer: All spam has been deleted. You now have 5 new messages. Whenua: Cool! That's much better...all that spam gave me a headache. No thanks to you, Eddie! Eddie: Computer: You now have 0 new messages. Whenua: Very funny, Eddie. Restore all messages, please. Eddie: )-B Boggarak: Weirdest. Emoticon. Ever. Computer: You have 5 new messages again! Whenua: About time. Computer, display first real message. Whenua: Finally, an actual, real, non-spammy question! Let me think...The deepest I ever went into the Archives was probably while I was chasing an escaped Brakas monkey that ran off. That thing was causing so much trouble that I was assigned to track it down and re-capture it. Come to think of it, that was probably because I was the only Toa working in the Archives...not that I realized it at the time. Vohtarak: Ooh! Storytime! What happened next? Whenua: We went so far down, the lightstones stopped working and we couldn't see where we were going. Before I knew it, both I and the monkey had fallen down a bottomless pit. Vohtarak: Did you die? Boggarak: Really? What kind of question is that? He's standing right here telling us the story! Vohtarak: Oh yeah. Wait, so you survived? *Boggarak facepalms* Whenua: Of course. Luckily for me (and the monkey), we hit water eventually. Then we swam out of the pit and I ended up in a fossil exhibit. I didn't even know we had a fossil exhibit. Boggarak: Wait, back up a minute. You said it was a bottomless pit. How could it have water in it, then? Whenua: Look, I don't know, okay? I didn't build the Archives, I just worked there! Boggarak: BUT THAT MAKES NO SENSE! How can a pit be considered bottomless if it clearly had a bottom? And if it didn't have a bottom, then what exactly was the water--MMMMPH! *Oohnorak wraps Boggarak's mouth in webbing* Keelerak: Thanks, he was getting annoying. Let's all just sit quietly and listen. Suukorak: ... Suukorak's Subtitles: {Quiet is my specialty! } Oohnorak: You can put emoticons in subtitles? Weird. Hey, speaking of quiet, where's-- Roporak: CHEESE! *A trapdoor opens in the ceiling and a waterfall of cheese (plus a very happy-looking Roporak) cascades down* Keelerak: You just had to ask. Roporak: Anybody want any cheese? Whenua (dripping with cheese): I've got enough, thank you. Where's Nokama when you need her? Boggarak: Mmmph! Keelerak: Oohnorak, untie him. Oohnorak: Aww...fine. *Oohnorak unties Boggarak* Boggarak: That's better. Whenua, hold still. Whenua: Uhh... *Boggarak launches his water spinner, hitting Whenua dead-on and drenching him with water* Boggarak: There! All clean. Whenua: Oww...I think I prefer Nokama's usual method. Keelerak: You know what, Boggarak? Why don't you take Roporak into the kitchen. Boggarak: Why me? Oohnorak: Because you're annoying, and he's annoying. You're a perfect fit! Boggarak: Ugh... *Boggarak and Roporak leave* Keelerak: That's much better. Whenua, shall we continue? Whenua: Oww...okay, let's go. Computer? Vohtarak: But we never finished the story! Computer: Displaying next message. Vohtarak: Aww... Whenua: Well. Most obvious trap ever. Computer, delete this message. Next! Whenua: Well, this is obviously spam! Computer, please delete (whispering) And-by-that-I-mean-save-it-please! Computer: Saving... Oohnorak: HOLD IT! We've been missing our usual romance-related shenanigans with Matau and Nokama gone. I say we read this message! Whenua: No! This is private! Oohnorak: Not anymore. Keelerak, isn't there something in that contract? Keelerak: Unfortunately, Whenua, he's right. According to Section 5, Sub-section R, Page 34, Paragraph Z, Sentence Q and a half, Word 3, Sub-word 7.5, Letter 2, if you're doing an episode of the show, all content in the messages you receive are considered public material. Whenua: Traitor...oh, fine. I'll just go over here. *Whenua goes in a corner while Oohnorak goes to the computer and reads the message:* Oohnorak: Wow... Keelerak: Talk about an embarrassing girlfriend. Whenua: She's not my--oh, okay, yes, she's my girlfriend. Oohnorak: Hey, can you two go on a date sometime? Also, you should wear this mining helmet. *Oohnorak pulls out a mining helmet with a rather obvious video camera duct taped to the front* Oohnorak: Totally not a secret camera! Whenua: Nice try, but yeah, no thanks. Can we please move on, now? Computer, save this message. Computer: Saved! Oohnorak: Ooooooh, now you can read it again and again and again because you're so in love with her! Whenua: Shut up. Computer, next message. Computer: Displaying Message 4. Keelerak: Well, that doesn't sound at all ominous. Vohtarak: Come on, just read the question already! Whenua: I'm honestly not sure whether to be scared or amused. Keelerak: It's good to know we're not the only ones that stupid Rahkshi annoys. Whenua: Good point. Okay, next message! Computer: Displaying final message. Whenua: Uhh...no thanks. Now I remember why I was so relieved to get out of that job. Oohnorak: Also, "Dosne" is a dumb name. Sounds like someone trying to rip-off Disney. Vohtarak: Ooh, does he run a theme park called "Dosne Land?" Or how about "Dosne World?" Suukorak: ... Suukorak's Subtitles: {Better turn on the Dosne Channel while we listen to Radio Dosne!} Whenua: Dosne and Poxar proudly present... Vohtarak: Or how about-- Keelerak: ENOUGH. Can we please focus? Whenua, just answer the question. Vohtarak: Party pooper. Oohnorak: I hate it when he goes all responsible on us. Whenua: To answer the question, no way. Never in a million years will I go back to work for him. And that's the end of that! Computer: No more messages. Whenua: Phew. Remind me to get an Eddie the Spam Deleter registration for my account next time... *The door flies open, blown into the wall by a tornado* Matau: BOOYAH! Guess who's back? Nokama: Matau, you might want to fix the garage first... Whenua: What happened to the garage? Nokama: Long story. Matau: It was great! I mean, I've got some cool ideas to upgrade our garage. I never thought we'd need a landing strip inside... Nokama: Still the same old Matau, I see... Whenua: How was the date? Nokama: Could have been worse, I guess? Oohnorak: You two should double-date! Whenua got this letter from Vhisola and you four should all go someplace super-romantic and wear my mining helmets too! Nokama: Mining helmets? Whenua: Don't ask. Matau: Hey Nokama, for our next date, maybe we should go see the new movie Bionicle 3.5: Matau Is The Coolest! It's my favorite movie ever and-- *SLAP!* Nokama: Two things. 1) Just because we're dating does not give you immunity to my slaps, and 2) I never said you earned a second date yet. This one was decent, but the crash at the end? Yeah, not a fan. Matau: Well, of course it wasn't a fan! It was an Air Whirler, and it is much cooler! Nokama: Yep. Definitely the same old Matau. So what did you all do while we were gone, anyway? Whenua: Well, it's a long story... END Bob the Word Counting Matoran: This chapter has 3,080 words. ~Lewa# Studios Lewa0111 Nuva

Brilliant job! This made me laugh harder than anything has in a while--the entire absurd premise, the Toa's reactions to it all, "Takua's" enthusiasm, "Vakama's" expressions...all of it added up to a truly brilliant comedy worthy of its title as the first G2 comedy on the forum! (At least, I think it's the first. Can't say I've read every single comedy ever written here.) My absolute favorite part of this was the conversation/argument between the Toa at the very end. Especially when "Matau" dumped the cleanup duty on Onua and Lewa. Lewa0111 Nuva P.S. It is a bit jarring to go from Air to Jungle, so I don't blame you for this other little mistake, but "Vakama" mentioned Gali and Lewa summoning a hurricane. Though I myself am at a loss to come up with an equivalent combination for Water and Jungle, I highly doubt New!Lewa can have anything to do with summoning hurricanes...

Hello everyone, hope you're enjoying the new year! I know I am... *glances over at Lewa 2015* Anyway, for those of you who may not have noticed, the Nuva Inn Christmas Contest has officially begun, with Onua, Pohatu, and Kopaka having already sung their songs. I'm going to be taking votes both here as well as via PM for those who'd rather stay anonymous, and the results will be declared once all the votes are in. Here are the rules: 1) The points from the three in-story judges will be added to the points from votes. 2) Each member may vote once per round. One round = one chapter of the comedy. 3) Disqualified singers CAN be voted for but they will not be eligible to win anyway. 4) You can't vote for the judges, no matter how much you may have enjoyed Lewa's money song. The Narrator is also not in the contest. 5) Nothing, I just like the number 5. I'll keep updating this post with the totals for each round. Current point totals are: Round 1 Onua: 0 points (judges) 0 points (voters) Kopaka: 8 points (judges) 0 points (voters) Pohatu: 8 points (judges) 0 points (voters) Round 2 Tava: 8 points (judges) 0 points (voters) Fred: 8 points (judges) 1 point (voters) Gali: 0 points (judges) 0 points (voters) Round 3 TBA Semifinals TBA Finals TBA Lewa0111 Nuva

The other day I had a chance to sit down and watch the "Metru Nui duology" (LoMN and WoS) back-to-back, saving the LoMN epilogue for the very end of both films. Upon doing this, and looking up what I could find on BS01 about the subject, a question occurred to me: What exactly was stopping the Turaga and Matoran from going back to Metru Nui at any time, either just after awakening the Matoran or after Makuta's defeat in '01? Obviously the Visorak were infesting the city for a while, but Vakama took care of that problem...so they spent 1,000 years on Mata Nui building their villages and such, only to THEN go back and rebuild the city. Why not just start rebuilding Metru Nui to begin with? Thoughts? Lewa0111 Nuva

And the Christmas/Naming Day/Whatever celebration continues! The Nuva Inn A BIONICLE comedy by Me! Chapter 35: Rockin' Around the Naming Day Pie OR The Singing Contest, Round 1 Onua: Narrator: Shut up, I don't want to hear it. Onua: But I didn't even say anything yet! Narrator: You and I both know you're going to complain about something in the title sequence, I'm going to argue with you, and it will end with us declaring how much we hate each other. Why don't we just skip that part and start the story right away? No dumb Onua intro this time? Onua: Okay, first, I'm not dumb, second, it's not my intro, and third, you're a bit too late for that. We're doing an intro right now! Narrator: D'oh! You're right. Onua: Oh, how I've longed to hear you say those words... Narrator: *grumble* Today we join the Toa Nuva in their hotel, getting ready for the big contest. Random Matoran #35: Hello? Anybody there? I'd like to stay... Random Matoran #36: Weird, no one's there. Try yelling a bit louder, brother, maybe they just can't hear you. Random Matoran #35: Hello, anybody there? I'd like to stay! Random Matoran #36: Nice try, but how about louder? Random Matoran #35: Hello, anybody there? I'd like to stay! Random Matoran #36: Still nothing? We might need to invoke the power of CAPS LOCK. Random Matoran #35: I'm going to need a new voicebox after this. *sighs* HELLO, ANYBODY THERE!? I'D LIKE TO STAY!! *Pohatu comes running super-fast and crashes into both Matoran* Random Matoran #35 and #36: Pohatu: I love exclamation points and question marks together! *Pohatu notices the two Matoran* Pohatu: Oops, sorry about that. Uh, did you want to stay? Random Matoran #35: Yes, did our CAPS LOCK actually work? Pohatu: No, but your punctuation did! Hang on, I'll get our front desky person. *Pohatu runs away and comes back five seconds later with a very hyper BEC and nauseous Fred* BEC: Ohhisorryaboutthatanywaydidyouwanttostayhowmanyroomsdidyouneed? Both Matoran: *Fred sighs and pulls out his boom box* Recording of BEC: Oh hi, sorry about that. Anyway, did you want to stay? How many rooms did you need? Random Matoran #35: Just one, two bedrooms, two bathrooms, thanks. BEC: SorrybutwedonthavebathroomsBIONICLEcharactersdontevenneedthemwhattheKarzahni? Recording of BEC: Sorry, but we don't have bathrooms. BIONICLE characters don't even need them! What the Karzahni? Random Matoran #35: Fine, if we can't have bathrooms, we're leaving! BEC: Waitwhat. *Random Matoran #35 and #36 leave the hotel and enter The Hotel Next Door* Lewa: Excuse me, Pohatu? Did we just lose a customer?? Pohatu: Where'd you come from? Lewa: Fell from the heavens like a burning star, but that's not the point. That's precious money you're losing me! Now go and clean the basement. Pohatu: We don't have a basement... Lewa: What? Unacceptable! Go build one now! Pohatu: That's Takanuva's job! Or maybe Onua's. Lewa: DON'T BACKTALK ME! Five points from Gryffindor! Pohatu: Uhh... *Lewa summons a windstorm and blows Pohatu somewhere* Lewa: Much better. BEC, keep watching the front desk. Pohatu won't get in your way any more. *Lewa walks away* BEC: Wowhesevenmeanerthanusualwhichisreallysayingsomethingwonderwhy? Fred: The holidays probably just have him stressed out. I'm not surprised he's taking it out on Pohatu... BEC: YeahkindafeelsorryforthatguybutohwellwhocaresmySUGARisalmostherewhee!! *BEC checks his watch* BEC: ComeonminutehandmovefasterIwantittobe329PMrightnow! Fred: Can we maybe have just one day where you're not hyper like this? This can't be good for my stomachache. BEC: Nope! *Meanwhile, in the kitchen...* Tahu: Let me guess, you're going to be singing about pie? Or maybe pi? Or maybe both? Tava: How did you know? YOU CHEATED! Tahu: Yes, because that's the ONLY possible way I could have guessed that. Tava: If you're thinking of stealing my idea... Tahu: Tava? I'm a judge. I'm not a participant. Tava: ...Oh. Right. I could make you a Judge Pie! Tahu: Uhh...no thanks. *In the Manager's Suite...* Lewa: Okay, so, I've got a question-- No, I've got a question. I'm busy being the author, why did you demand I visit you here? Lewa: I'm the manager, don't talk back to me! ...You seriously think I work for you? I'm pretty sure the author outranks everyone. Lewa: Yeah right. AUTHOR POWERS! *Lewa spontaneously starts tap-dancing* Lewa: Okay, fine, you win, now make it stop! Fine. There you go. Now quit bossing me around. *Lewa0111 disappears* Lewa: *singing to the tune of Money, Money, Money* I sleep all night I sit all day I yell at Toa every day Ain't it cool... And I still have time to enjoy Massage chairs, smoothies, "Mask of Light" And money pool... I dream I have so much stuff, If the others would shape up I'd have all that stuff now for real But dumb Pohatu ruins the deal! Money, money, money I love money, I have piles of it! Money, money, money I'm no dummy, I love my widgets! Aaa, aaa, aaa, I've got gold markers too, And some fancy new shoes, Aaa, aaa, aaa-- *A Le-Matoran, a Ga-Matoran, and an Onu-Matoran enter the Manager's Suite* Le-Matoran: What? Lewa: Uhh...what are you doing here? I was singing! Ga-Matoran: We can see that. Why did you call our names? Lewa: I didn't call you. Onu-Matoran: Yes you did. I'm Aaa, this is Shu, and Marka.* Lewa: Oh. No, I was just singing "aaa," "shoe," and "marker." I didn't call your names. Also, your names are really weird. Shu: Not as weird as the Po-Matoran names... *Everyone flies by the window in a hover jet, accompanied by his friends Himself, Some Guy, and Nobody* Lewa: Good point...Now get out of my Manager's Suite and quit ruining my song! Marka, Shu, and Aaa: Sorry. *They leave* *In the pool area...* Gali: Well, that about wraps it up! I'm ready for the contest. Are you ready, Takanuva? Takanuva: No. Kopaka: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!! Takanuva: Mostly because of that annoying Toa of Ice over there. Kopaka: Hey, I'm not annoying! You're the annoying one, saying that word all the time... Gali: Okay, calm down, both of you. Don't make me drench you. Takanuva and Kopaka: Gali: Good. Now, I think we should-- Lewa (over loudspeakers): ATTENTION EMPLOYEES OF THE NUVA INN! If you are a customer, don't worry about this. EMPLOYEES, WE ARE MEETING IN THE THEATER IN TWO MINUTES TO BEGIN OUR CONTEST! GET READY!! LATE ARRIVALS WILL BE CONFISCATED! *whispering, still over loudspeaker* What was that? Oh, sorry. *loudly* SORRY, I MEANT COMPLEMENTED! *whispering* That's not what I meant! Let me try again... *loudly* I MEANT CAULFLOWERED! *softly* No, Krekka, get out of here. Krekka (over loudspeakers): Duhhh...what? Where's my cauli--AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!! Kopaka: That moron stole my line! Lewa (over loudspeakers): SORRY ABOUT THAT! LOOK JUST DON'T BE LATE, OKAY?? Gali: That was the weirdest P.A. announcement ever. Kopaka: I agree. Takanuva: No. I've heard weirder. Kopaka: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH, I've heard weirder! Gali: And that sentence would be the "weirder." Anyway, let's go. *20 minutes later, in the theater...(wow, lots of transitions today! Also, that rhymed!)* *Lewa comes dashing in at the last minute* Lewa: Well, looks like we're all on time. Good job! Onua: *muttering* All of us except you, you mean. Lewa: Anyway, ignoring Onua for the moment, let's start the contest! Lewa0111, any time now. Oh, fine. I hate materializing... *I materialize on stage* Lewa0111: Hi everyone! I'm here to help judge the contest as mentioned last chapter, along with Lewa and Tahu. I have a binder here for you with sign-up slots; each of you will pick a time to sing. You will come up on stage, sing your song according to the rules from Chapter 34, and we will give you our points. At the end of the contest, whoever has the most points, including votes from the readers, will win the prizes. Any questions? All Toa, BEC, and Fred: Readers? Lewa0111: Uh...you know what? Never mind the readers. Okay, let's start! *Everyone runs like crazy toward the binder, there's a big cartoony fight cloud, and things eventually clear with the whole group sitting in a pile, but no binder* Takanuva: Oww...Hey, where's the binder? Fred: Isn't it here? I thought you had it! Takanuva: No. Kopaka: AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHH!! *They all look over to see Onua sitting calmly in a big armchair, writing in the binder* Everyone But Onua: ONUA!?!?!?!? Pohatu: By the way, I-- Lewa: Don't use that joke! Now go and get me that binder. Lewa0111: Lewa, we've been over this. YOU'RE A JUDGE. Lewa: Oh yeah. Onua: Digging is fun, isn't it? And super useful. Particularly for digging up under a big cartoony fight cloud, grabbing a binder, then digging away with it. Kopaka: I hate you. Narrator: Hey, no one's allowed to say that to him except me! Narrator...SMASH! *A sumo wrestler lands on Kopaka* Sumo Wrestler: Booyah! *riverdances away* Lewa0111: Narrator, do you want to get fired again? Narrator: Uhh...of course not, sorry! Wait--I mean--what do you mean "again?" I've never been fired before! I'm a completely different Narrator than that first one in Chapters 1 and 2! Seriously! Everyone: Suuuure... Onua: Welp, I'm done. Here, catch! *The other Toa, Fred, and BEC all pass around the binder, eventually tossing it up to Lewa* Lewa: Okay. Well, if everyone's signed in, we can-- *A loud knock is heard from the front door* Lewa: Pohatu, answer that. Pohatu: I'm not the front desky person! BEC: HoldonIllberightback! *runs hyperly away to the front desk, accidentally sending Fred flying off his shoulder in the process* *At the front desk...* Narrator: BEC rushed in to see a Ta-Matoran with a yellow Komau standing there. BEC: HithereTaMatoranhowcanIhelpyoutoday? Ta-Matoran: I'd like to stay for, three nights. BEC: Okaythatllbe9,001widgetspleasedonotmakeanymemereferencesthankyouverymuch! Ta-Matoran: Here's all the, Widgets you need. BEC: ThanksMatoranbythewaywhatsyourname! Ta-Matoran: My name is, Mana Leader. BEC: WeirdnamebutohwellwelcometoTheNuvaInn! Narrator: Hey, that's my line! Mana Leader: What's that, Noise coming from the theater? BEC: WerehavingaNamingDaysongcontestwhydidyouwanttojoin? Mana Leader: Sure! BEC: EntryfeeisW20alsowhydoyoutalksoweird? Mana Leader: I don't, Talk so weird, but why are you, So hyper? BEC: BecauseIloveSUGARofcoursenowgimmethewidgetsandletsgo! *Back in the theater...* BEC: HiguysthisisManaLeaderhesheretostayforafewnightsandhedalsoliketojointhecontest! Mana Leader: Hi, Everyone. Onua: Everyone isn't here. He checked out a few days ago. Lewa: He can't join the contest! It's for employees only! BEC: Ithoughtyoumightsaythatsohereyoucanhave20widgets! Lewa: YAY MONEY!! Okay, he's in. Takanuva, sign him in at the end. Takanuva: Yes. Kopaka: HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAA!! Mana Leader: BEC: Yeahthathappensalotdontworryaboutit. Lewa: Okay, that's that. Looks like Onua will be first up. Let's take our positions! *Lewa0111, Tahu, and Lewa sit down behind a randomly appeared judges' table on the side of the stage, Onua gets on the stage by the microphone, and everyone else sits in the audience* Onua: Okay, testing, is this thing on? Good. I'm going to be singing "Down In The Tunnels", my version of the popular Naming Day song "Up On The Chutetop." Ahem: Down in the tunnels Rahi wait They hope Onua Isn't late! Digs through the dirt With these awesome drills, Bringing lots of Naming Day thrills! Dig, dig, dig, I love to dig, Dig, dig, dig, It's so much fu-un! Might even bring gold Or silver, And other cool rocks, Like...umm...uh...er..."bilver!" *Onua bows* Lewa: HOLD IT! "Bilver" isn't a word! Onua: I know, but I couldn't think of any words that rhyme with "silver." Lewa: No making up words. Rule #28172684763482967861876498 in the rulebook. Onua: Aww... Lewa: DISQUALIFIED! Tahu: DISQUALIFIED! Lewa0111: Sorry, Onua, he's right...DISQUALIFIED! Onua: That's okay. It was still fun! Lewa: Okay, new rule. When you're disqualified, you have to pay me 50 widgets. Lewa0111: No. Lewa: Why not? Lewa0111: Because that's a stupid rule. Lewa: Tahu: Can we move on already? Who's next? Lewa: Let's see...looks like it's going to be Kopaka. Kopaka: Yes. Takanuva: ... *everyone stares at Takanuva* Takanuva: What? Did you expect me to say something? Everyone but Takanuva: Yep! Takanuva: Well, tough. *Kopaka gets on stage* Kopaka: My song is "Icy Wonderland." It's based on "Winter Wonderland." Here I go: Where I go Ice starts forming, When I'm bored Things start freezing, A beautiful sight My powers of ice, Living in an icy wonderland! Mask of Light As an ice show! Takanuva In an ice floe, Takanuva: HEY! *Kopaka shrugs and continues* An annoying sight, The Toa of Light, Ruining my icy wonderland! On Mount Ihu I can build a huge bridge, Or go skiing down the icy slopes. In Ko-Metru I can climb the towers, And watch the blizzard while I hang on ropes! Everywhere Things are frozen, Even makes, Fire dozin', I just love my life, As Toa of Ice, Living in an icy wonderland! *Applause* Takanuva: Can I say-- Kopaka: Don't. Takanuva: TakaBluvaNuvaStuvaTubaWuvaLuvaPuva!! Everyone: Takanuva: Okay, that was weird. And annoying. Kopaka: Now you know how I feel... Lewa: That was bizarre. Anyway, Kopaka, I give you two points out of four. Lewa0111: I vote three. Tahu: Also three. Who's next? Lewa: *flipping through binder* The bellbottom. Pohatu: Are we really still calling me that? Oh, fine. My turn. *Pohatu climbs onto the stage* Pohatu: My song is called "The Twelve Days of TNI," based on "The Twelve Days of Naming Day." Lewa: Of course you'd pick the longest song. Can we just disqualify him? Lewa0111: Lewa: Fine. Pohatu: Quiet in the peanut gallery! Ahem: On the first day of TNI, Toa Lewa did to me: Called me "bellbottom" instead of "bellboy!" Lewa: I DID NOT! Onua: You literally just did a few lines ago...Can we continue the song? Lewa: Ugh. Pohatu: On the second day of TNI, Toa Lewa did to me: Blamed me for everything, And called me "bellbottom" instead of "bellboy!" Lewa: When have I ever blamed you for anything? Ever? Gali: Lewa? Try every five seconds. Lewa: That is an exaggeration! I never blame him for stuff! I'm really starting to hate this song. Gali: That's just because it's true. Pohatu, please go on! Pohatu: On the third day of TNI, Toa Lewa did to me: Had me "use my head" Blamed me for everything, And called me "bellbottom" instead of "bellboy!" Lewa: Oh yes, because having to think is SO hard... Pohatu: I meant literally. Remember when you made me ram my head into the wall to break in when the Rahkshi invaded? Lewa: Uhh...I have no idea what you're talking about...MOVING ON! Pohatu: On the fourth day of TNI, Toa Lewa did to me: Told me to take the stairs Had me "use my head" Blamed me for everything, And called me "bellbottom" instead of "bellboy!" Lewa: Okay, I admit I did that one. But that's because the elevator needs to be used for guests! Pohatu: What about your personal elevator? Lewa: It's PERSONAL. That means for Lewa only. Pohatu: Or you could share... Lewa: NEVER! Fred: And there's our problem. Pohatu: On the fifth day of TNI, Toa Lewa did to me: SQUISHED ME WITH THE HOTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL!! Lewa: WHAT?? Oh, come on. That one had literally nothing to do with me whatsoever. Pohatu: You were the one who wanted to be manager, so the hotel is your responsibility. Lewa: But it wasn't even my hotel! It was The Hotel Next Door! Pohatu: Then why did it have to land on me of all people? Why not anyone else in the entire universe? Lewa: Because it's funnier when things land on you. Pohatu: No, it's not, and that just proves my point. Can I just sing in peace for once, please? Gali: Well, we'd like to listen. Tahu: Me too! This is a great song. Lewa: Traitors...fine. Pohatu: Told me to take the stairs Had me "use my head" Blamed me for everything, And called me "bellbottom" instead of "bellboy!" On the sixth day of TNI, Toa Lewa did to me: Refused to pay me money SQUISHED ME WITH THE HOTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL!! Told me to take the stairs Had me "use my head" Blamed me for everything, And called me "bellbottom" instead of "bellboy!" Lewa: That is 100% untrue. I always paid you! Pohatu: Actually, you haven't paid me for the last several weeks. Something about you needing it more than I did. Lewa: Well, what, I was just supposed to give you my precious money? Pohatu: That's kinda how employment works...it's not my fault you're a greedy, entitled, and terrible boss plus a few other words we can't say on BZPower... Lewa: WHAT. DID. YOU. SAY? Takanuva: Are you having trouble hearing, Lewa? Here, let me help you. He said: *whips out a megaphone* IT'S NOT HIS FAULT YOU'RE A GREEDY, ENTITLED, AND TERRIBLE BOSS PLUS A FEW OTHER WORDS WE CAN'T SAY ON BZPOWER! Gali: Uh-oh... Lewa: THAT DOES IT! Tahu: Hey, fire! Cool! Pohatu: Uh-oh...gottagorunawaynowbye! *Lewa starts chasing Pohatu around the theater, while Pohatu sings: Pohatu: On the twelfth day at TNI, Toa Lewa did to me: Chased me 'round the theater Made me build a basement Took five points from Gryffindor (for some reason) Won't let me say my joke Had me carry bricks Liked money more than me Refused to pay me money SQUISHED ME WITH THE HOTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL!! Told me to take the stairs Had me "use my head" Blamed me for everything, *Lewa skids to a stop to find everyone but him glaring at him, powers charged, as they sing the final line:* All Toa, Matoran, and Fred: AND CALLED HIM "BELLBOTTOM" INSTEAD OF "BELLBOY!" *The whole group blasts Lewa at once, sending him flying into the air* Lewa: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!! Gali: Think he'll be okay? Kopaka: He can fly, he'll be fine. Tava: Anybody want a Pohatu Appreciation Pie? That song was so great, I made these for the occasion! Pohatu: Wow, thanks! So, what about the contest? Lewa0111: I vote you a four. Tahu: Same here. Guess now we just wait for Lewa to get back. BEC: OkaygreatsothisisintermissionthenIgottagoandgrabmoresugarbyeguys! Gali: Well, we can't say it hasn't been an eventful contest, at least...can't wait for my turn! THE END Narrator: *singing to the tune of "Jolly Old St. Nicholas"* Annoying Toa Onua Coming to complain, Just the way he always does Talk about a pain! I am just a narrator Trying to narrate! Why you always criticize Everything I say? Onua: Because I have nothing better to do. Also, that song was dumb. Narrator: 1) You just proved my point, and 2) At least I didn't make up any words. Onua: ...Touche. Bob the Word Counting Matoran: This chapter has 3,065 words. Next: Round 2! ~Lewa# Studios

This is true to a point; however, I think LEGO could still strike a better balance between "describe every single character in existence" (Old!Bionicle) and "no one besides the six Toa even get so much as a name" (New!Bionicle so far). Maybe just fill in a few characters, one or two from each tribe, and leave plenty of background characters unnamed for people to headcanon with. As others have mentioned, the islanders' perspective (especially in the MNOG and similar sources) was one of the most fun parts of 2001. Lewa0111 Nuva

Some type of alphabet that I cannot read. Too bad it's not written in Matoran... Lewa0111 Nuva

A swarm of rabid Gukko birds attacks you completely randomly. I stand by and laugh, retrieving the mask from your hands while you are distracted. My mask! Lewa0111 Nuva

Well, it controls the spiders and that's it...as far as we know, anyway. I'm still holding out hope for some traditional '01-era mask powers or equivalents. As I mentioned in said other topic, X-Ray vision does seem like a really weird power to give to a spider out of nowhere. Lewa0111 Nuva

No complaints here! Definitely makes sense from what we've seen so far, especially for the Protectors. I'd draw some, but I am probably the single worst artist on this whole site. Lewa0111 Nuva

Something else I thought about: A) Depending on what new SS powers are revealed in the summer wave, this may end up being basically confirmed. B) Strength and Speed are fairly generic powers and don't mean too much individually in terms of a connection, but X-Ray vision? Now that's a weird power, especially for a spider (I'd think something like "stinger shoots venom" or "webslinging" would come to mind much quicker...) That, especially when combined with the other two, is a pretty strong hint. Lewa0111 Nuva

I wonder if it will be a sort of keystone that lets the wearer control the SS. Sort of like the Heart of the Visorak but more precise? Have powers for the other Golden Kanohi been revealed yet? I know in the original story a Golden Kanohi contained the powers of all six masks, but I doubt they'd do that this time since the mask powers are directly tied to the elemental powers. Sense, that would not make. Lewa0111 Nuva The Golden Masks this time grant the Toa greater elemental power and give them access to special moves/attacks. The way I see it is like the distinction between a Noble and Great Kanohi--same power, different level. The normal masks they wear (i.e. Tahu's red Mask of Fire) are the "Noble" versions and the Golden masks are the "Great" version. Ah, I see, thank you. I was hoping it would be something a little more interesting, but oh well! WAIT A MINUTE, I just thought of something. The Skull Spiders currently have individual powers of their own reminiscent of the original Toa Matau masks: strength (blue), x-ray vision (green), and speed (silver). Perhaps the Golden SS Mask gives one all three of these powers (plus whatever other types of SS they release in the summer)? Lewa0111 Nuva

I like this theory. Outside of that one Greg quote (which is up for interpretation anyway as has been mentioned), I doubt it will ever be proven or disproven one way or another. Though I do hope/like the idea of this being the equivalent to the "You are not the first Toa!" plot twist bomb we got at the end of '03, or the "WHAAAAT!? We live in a giant robot?" (+1 internet points if you get the reference ) twist from '08. Lewa0111 Nuva

Combiners would be nice, or even better...anyone remember that old 13-in-one Rahi builder set they released around '03? It was basically a bunch of parts with instructions for all different Mata Nui-era Rahi. I still have a Takea shark sitting there in my collection. I would LOVE it if they did something like this again. I'd probably buy more than one, too. Lewa0111 Nuva

I wonder if it will be a sort of keystone that lets the wearer control the SS. Sort of like the Heart of the Visorak but more precise? Have powers for the other Golden Kanohi been revealed yet? I know in the original story a Golden Kanohi contained the powers of all six masks, but I doubt they'd do that this time since the mask powers are directly tied to the elemental powers. Sense, that would not make. Lewa0111 Nuva

How is "Genki Girl" and "Ice Queen" offensive? Conversely, how is "Team Mom" and "Sports Star" any less so? They're tropes; tried and true archetypes. That doesn't make them offensive. Or do you think we're expecting a Kopaka going Tsundere for Tahu and a Lewa playing Onua's Manic Pixie Dream Girl? Nope. Not in my case, anyway I personally don't find any of them offensive, nor do I find characters being male offensive in and of itself. I probably should have clarified I was referring to general reception. Feminists and others who are prominent in gender theory and such tend to complain much more about the "offensive" character types we discussed above but I hardly ever see complaints toward the Pohatu/Onua type female characters. Lewa0111 Nuva

I'd find the nearest LEGO set and play around to my heart's content. WWYD if a Lehvak swarm suddenly attacked your house? Lewa0111 Nuva

Sounds like a Glatorian? Lewa0111 Nuva