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-Toa Lhikevikk-

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Blog Entries posted by -Toa Lhikevikk-

  8. -Toa Lhikevikk-
    Once, there was a lone Matoran who lived in the middle of a vast desert. His only source of water was a tiny creek which passed by his hut. Every day he prayed to Mata Nui to send him more water, but it never came. Day after day he struggled with his life, trying to conserve as much water as possible.
     
    One day, he woke up to a terrible noise. The Great Cataclysm had struck. Earthquakes and thunderstorms ravaged the whole of the universe. As he looked to the horizon, all he could could do was gape in horror at the hundred-bio-high wall of water crashing his way.
     
    "Oh Mata Nui," he prayed in the few seconds before he drowned. "Send me less water."
     
    (I'm sure you get the message here. )
  11. -Toa Lhikevikk-

    My Vision

    By -Toa Lhikevikk-,

    After lunch today, I suddenly had a great idea: The Lhikevikk Cactus Factory. It would sell artificial cacti for only $499.99 an ounce. It would be a small brick building, utterly featureless save for a small glass door. Inside would be a dark space, lit only by the light through the door, containing nothing but a small hatch on the floor. Customers would open the hatch and climb down a swimming pool-type ladder into a brightly lit underground chamber.
     
    This is the exciting part. The chamber would be huge, about the size of your average Wal-Mart. But it would have no furniture whatsoever. The walls, floor and ceiling would all be white, the whitest white you could ever imagine. The walls would be covered in panels (white of course), which could be removed by requesting the assistance of the employees.
     
    The employees would all wear black suits, the blackest black you could ever imagine. They would also wear white ties with bright pink polka dots. They would wear bridgeless sunglasses and would look exactly alike. As in, practically the same guy. They would walk up and down an invisible grid, horizontally and vertically but never diagonally. They would constantly walk at the exact same speed, too.
     
    Should a customer speak to an employee, he would be completely unresponsive unless the customer is asking for a certain type of cactus. The employee would then walk speechlessly (they never, ever talk) over to a specific panel and remove it. Behind the panel would be a pipe about as long as the employee's arm. At the end of the pipe would be an artificial cactus illuminated by dim red lights. The employee would then hold the cactus until the customer leaves, following them until then (but staying on the invisible grid).
     
    The store would have no background music. Instead, the loudspeakers would play the sound of a fly's buzzing to soothe the customers, who would be allowed to enter at any time, but could only leave between 2:00 AM and 5:00 AM.
     
    The cashier would be a chihuahua, who would lick the customer's credit cards and transmit the data to the store's supercomputer using the EEG cap it would wear. Customers are discouraged from using cash or cheques, probably because the chihuahua would not be trained to handle such payments and would usually rip them to shreds. Since the employees never talk, this warning would be transmitted subliminally through the loudspeakers as they play the fly's buzzing.
     
    Most customers would then go to the Sumiki Psychiatric Clinic due to the clinic's business partnership with the factory. This could be related to the owners of the factory being escapees from the clinic.
     
    (So Sumiki, you were right about Pizza Hut being bad for my health; my mental health if not my physical health.)
  12. -Toa Lhikevikk-
    My stinger-tail henchman, Gornt, has advised that I conduct a survey to determine who are my mindless slaves and who are (ugh) individuals.
     
    I followed his noble advice and posted this ultimatum.
     
    Then I killed him with a plasma blast.
  13. -Toa Lhikevikk-

    Yes!

    By -Toa Lhikevikk-,

    Even tough it took me forever, I beat the Windows Vista slide-puzzle Gadget in only 5 seconds.
     
    If you pester me enough I'll tell the secret, but anyways, I'm really proud of it.
     
    EDIT: Also I just learned that Ice Warrior is a post rank. The only thing more awesome than that would be if Weeping Angel were a rank too. B)
  14. -Toa Lhikevikk-
    BIONICLES BIONICLES BIONICLES BIONICLES BIONICLES BIONICLES BIONICLES BIONICLES BIONICLES BIONICLES BIONICLES BIONICLES BIONICLES BIONICLES BIONICLES BIONICLES BIONICLES BIONICLES BIONICLES BIONICLES
     
    Annoyed yet? Annoyed because it's about as logical as calling Luke, Han, Chewie and Leia "Star Warses?"
     
    Then I have a treat for you...
     
    STAR WARSES STAR WARSES STAR WARSES STAR WARSES STAR WARSES STAR WARSES STAR WARSES STAR WARSES STAR WARSES STAR WARSES STAR WARSES STAR WARSES STAR WARSES STAR WARSES STAR WARSES STAR WARSES STAR WARSES STAR WARSES STAR WARSES STAR WARSES
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