Jump to content

SPIRIT

Premier Retired Staff
  • Posts

    2,886
  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    74

Blog Entries posted by SPIRIT

  1. SPIRIT

    Stories
    Recently I managed to find someone selling the Bionicle Quest for Makuta board game online. It was in pretty good condition. An excellent addition to my collection.
    I also picked up a few other board games. Just something to do with the kids I work with. One of the games was Monopoly. What did I find inside the box?
    A single Cordak bullet.
    The evidence speaks for itself. Family game night turned violent, the Toa Mahri intervened, and there were no survivors. 😔
    Open and shut case.
    Bake him away, toys.
  2. SPIRIT
    So let me start my story like any old man with an anecdote that doesn't really go anywhere.
    I was trawling through my old blog entries trying to find out when I got Pokemon Diamond. I'm playing Brilliant Diamond and I wanted to see if I wrote down anything about my initial playthrough of the game. Turns out, 17 year old me did not see that as something worth recording.
    Instead I seemed to be a little full of myself. A lot of the blog entries from that time are about my own fame and power on BZP, which in the hindsight of old age looks a bit sad and pathetic. Yeah, I definitely played it up a bit for laughs, but I have to confess that there was a bit of truth behind that.
    It's hard when you're seventeen and you have all these hopes and aspirations. At school, you're just a regular person, but on the internet, hey, you just make some funny Flash videos and write some silly movie parodies and suddenly you're someone special. Of course it would go to your head, you're still a kid. What do you know about power or fame? How could you possibly use those things responsibly? I wasn't even that powerful or famous. Imagine if I were a real celebrity! Yowza...
    For the most part, I guess I was well-liked. Certainly if I go onto Bionicle Discord communities, people tell me they have fond memories of some of the things I've done. So maybe I'm overthinking it, maybe this is just the imposter syndrome that we all have to face in adulthood.
    And things could absolutely be worse. You hear all sorts of stories about people who use their power and  influence to abuse and control vulnerable people. I definitely never did anything like that. I just made some blog posts that aged poorly.
    I don't think I'm a bad person now or that I was a bad person before, I just think it's interesting how my values shifted as I got older. Right now I am 31. I run my own business where I give children speech therapy.  “I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” That's my new aim in life: to help make other people feel good, not just myself. My power and influence speaks for itself, I don't have to brag about it on the internet, even as a joke.
    Thank you for reading this. I hope you managed to grow beyond the person you were at seventeen too.
  3. SPIRIT
    Hey technically-inclined people of this strange corner of the internet,
     
    I'm in the market for a good gaming PC. Like, a really good one. Like one that will play Skyrim on Ultra with no loading time. But I have no idea where to start looking.
     
    Got any recommendations?
     
    Also, I'm incredibly lazy, so building it myself will never happen.
  4. SPIRIT
    Like so many others this year, I won't be with my family this Christmas because of the pandemic.
     
    I don't visit often, but you guys are still like an estranged family to me.  So merry Christmas everybody.
  5. SPIRIT
    Synesthesia
     
    Does anyone have this or know people who do? Up until I was twelve, I thought I was the only one, but then I read about it in a book and I realized that other people think just like I do. I think I'm the only person in my family to have it, but my dad says he has it a little -- not to the extent that I do, though.
     
    In particular, I have Ordinal linguistic personification and Grapheme–color synesthesia.
     
    I recommend you read (or skim) the Wikipedia articles I've linked and then we can discuss this psychological oddity we share. If you'd like, tell me what colour or personality certain letters, numbers, days, names, months, or music notes have and then I can tell you how wrong you are.
  6. SPIRIT
    So this one kid I'm working with is 9.  He has a lot of difficulty saying vocalic /r/ (e.g. car, stir, bear, deer, etc.), but we've made some big strides in the last few months.  He's also a major bookworm.  Magic Treehouse, Minecraft novelizations... if you think a nine year old would read it, he's read it.  Often we'll read passages from his favourite books and practice some good vocalic /r/ sounds.  Today, to my surprise, he's waiting for me on the stairs clutching a familiar red book...
     
     
    Yes, friends, it was none other than BIONICLE Adventures #10: Time Trap
     
     
    Kid: Yeah, I really like this book.  You're probably going to think some of the characters have really weird names.
    Me: 4_parallel_universes_ahead_of_you.png
     
    So the legend of Bionicle isn't quite dead yet, folks.
  7. SPIRIT
    Well, I was under the impression that BZP was in a coma but apparently it's not.  Who knew?
    So life's been really interesting recently.  I quit my job to start my own business and now ain't nobody tellin me to do nothing.
    It is both very stressful and very exciting.  Let's have a race to see which happens first: my business becoming solvent or BZP coming back to life.
  8. SPIRIT
    Dume: Well, Vakama, I made it... despite your directions.
     
    Vakama: Ah, Turaga Dume! Welcome! I hope you're prepared for some unforgettable Kanohi!
     
    Dume: Yeah...
     
    Vakama: Oh Great Beings, my masks are ruined! But what if... I were to purchase someone else's masks and disguise them as my own crafting? Oh ho ho ho ho... magnificently Makutaish, Vakama!
     
    Dume: Vakama!
     
    Vakama: Turaga, I was just, uh... just stretching my calves on the windowsill. Isometric exercise! Care to join me?
     
    Dume: Why is there smoke coming out of your forge, Vakama?
     
    Vakama: Uhh... no! That isn't smoke. It's steam. Steam from the steamed Hau I'm making! Mmm... steamed Hau!
     
    Vakama: Turaga, I hope you're ready for mindblowing Kaukau!
     
    Dume: I thought you were making steamed Hau.
     
    Vakama: D'oh, no. I said steamed Kau! That's what I call Kaukau!
     
    Dume: You call Kaukau "steamed Kau?"
     
    Vakama: Yes. It's a regional dialect!
     
    Dume: Uh-huh... uh, what region?
     
    Vakama: Uhh... Metru Nui?
     
    Dume: Really? Well, I'm from Ta-Metru, and I've never heard anyone use the phrase "steamed Kau."
     
    Vakama: Oh, not in Ta-Metru, no. It's a Ga-Metru expression.
     
    Dume: I see. You know, these Kaukau are quite similar to the ones they have at Nuhrii's forge.
     
    Vakama: Oh ho ho ho... no, patented Vakama masks. Old crafting recipe.
     
    Dume: For steamed Kau?
     
    Vakama: Yes.
     
    Dume: Yes, and you call them "steamed Kau" despite the fact they are obviously injection moulded.
     
    Vakama: Ye- hey- you know, the- one thing I should- excuse me for one second.
     
    Dume: Of course.
     
    Vakama: Well, that was wonderful. A good time was had by all, I'm pooped.
     
    Dume: Yes, I should be- Great Spirit, what is happening in there!?
     
    Vakama: The Red Star?
     
    Dume: The Red Star!? At this time of year, at this time of day, in this part of the city, localized entirely within your forge!?
     
    Vakama: Yes!
     
    Dume: May I see it?
     
    Vakama: No.
     
    Brander: Vakama, the forge is on fire!
     
    Vakama: No, Brander—it's just the Red Star!
     
    Dume: Well, Vakama, you are an odd fellow, but I must say... you steam a good Kau.
  9. SPIRIT
    So I’m a productive adult. I’ve got a job and friends and things are pretty good when you average everything out. I’m entitled to a little mindless television every now and then. But, as a major cheapskate millennial and someone who hates media commitments because of how seriously he takes them, I don’t have TV so I just bum around watching cruddy YouTube videos in my recommended videos feed to opiate my brain from a long day of thinking and worry.
     
    And here’s what grinds my gears, what gets my goat, what shivers my timbers, what rustles my jimmies.
     
    When YouTubers state that their opinions are opinions.
     
    COOL! THANKS! NO FREAKING DUH!
     
    Listen here, you human trash bags, I KNOW THAT THIS LIST OF TOP TEN TIMES MICHAEL SCOTT DID SOMETHING FUNNY IS YOUR OPINION! HOW ON THIS GOOD GREEN EARTH COULD YOU OBJECTIVELY ASSESS SOMETHING LIKE THIS?
     
    You spineless, mewling milksops!
     
    You can’t stand by an opinion? You’ve got to water it down with “oh just FYI this is my opinion don’t get mad pls”. WELL TOUGH TAMALES, AMIGO! THIS IS THE INTERNET! PEOPLE GET MAD! PEOPLE DOWNVOTE THINGS THEY DON’T LIKE!
     
    I don’t care how mundane your video or your opinion is. Just present it as fact! Stick to your guns! That’s the difference between strength and weakness, and people are sure as heck more interested in that than right or wrong. Even if I disagree with what you say, I can at least respect you standing up for what you believe in.
     
    Because like I was saying before, the internet hive mind gets mad. Whoop dee doo! Just ignore them!
     
    As the saying goes “haters gonna hate”, or the more updated version “dab on the haters”.
     
    You can’t please everyone, but at least please yourself. There are worse fates than being hated on the internet. “Oh I can’t say this, the Internet will get mad!”
     
    GOOD!
     
    An angry view and a happy view still bring in the same ad revenue!
     
     
     
     
    Okay, that’s all I got.
     
     
    But can we also stop with the weird standard intros to things, catchphrases, and stupid names for YouTuber fanbases? Like I get that traditions are fun, people like repetition, and inventing words is fun, but just stooooooop! For goodness sake, this part of YouTube culture is much worse than the whole inability to support an opinion.
     
    It’s cool that you’re famous for talking to your webcam everyday, but try to get a little perspective on the content of your videos.
     
     
    Okay, that’s it for me.
     
    Be sure to rate, comment, and subscribe. Don’t forget to SMASH that bell! And let me tell you about my friends at some stupid website that sells junk no one wants.
     
    LAME NONSENSICAL SIGN OFF! BYEEEEEE!
  10. SPIRIT
    Pope Gregory XIII was a doofus as was Julius Caesar. Did they not foresee the importance of a logical calendar in a technological society? Here are some changes I would make if given supreme dictatorial power over the Free World.
     
    1) New calendar starts the day after the winter solstice (i.e. the winter solstice is the last day of the year). The days start off short, get long, and once they're short again we start a new year. I could compromise by going with the summer solstice or one of the equinoxes, but the current system of "ehhh, I guess we'll start the new year like a week and a half after the solstice" is stupid and dumb and I hate it.
     
    2) 12 months, 30 days each. Months 1, 3, 6, 9, and 12 all get an extra day. That adds up to 365.
     
    3) No leap years. The final day of the year will be 0.2422 days longer to help the rotation and the revolution counts catch up to each other.
     
    4) Better month names. September, October, November, and December are months 9, 10, 11, and 12 just so that we could fit in two holidays named after emperors who have been dead for like 2000 years? That's insane. Nope, scrap the whole system. Pick some new naming scheme. Name them after stars, rocks, trees, historical figures, elements, or dinosaurs. The current system has no cohesion or logic.
     
    5) Now that there's no shift in which day falls on which date, all holidays are static and better spaced out. Every month gets a holiday and they all happen either on a Monday or a Friday. None of this "oh, sometimes it lands on a Wednesday". That's not a lottery I'm interested in gambling at. Now I realize many religious and cultural celebrations may follow a lunar calendar or that certain groups may be attached to celebrations that are already tied to specific days. Well tough tamales! You should've thought of that before electing me supreme leader of the world.
     
     
    I think that's a pretty good start, and it's pretty easy to fit a 5 step plan into my manifesto. I could go into detail on my plans for a 3 day weekend, second Christmas, or regulations about which holidays warrant fireworks and which ones do not, but I think I can save that for the supreme world leader election circuit.
  11. SPIRIT
    I've remained silent on this issue for far too long, but I can do so no longer.
     
     
     
    While playing Fallout 4 and looking at an Achievement Guide, it was brought to my attention that some of the Achievements are mutually-exclusive to a playthrough unless you save-scum. Not only that, but other achievements are locked behind moral choices, but only if you pick a certain choice! That's not how Achievements should work!
     
    Achievements should follow these rules:
     
    1) A player must not be able to lock him or herself out of obtaining an Achievement. By the time you reach the end of the game, you should be allowed the option to return to all instances where an Achievement could have been obtained in order to reach 100% game completion. The obvious exception to this rule is games that are designed for multiple playthroughs.
     
    2) No Achievement should require the action of another human to complete. It can certainly be an option, maybe in a game with online capabilities that someone could help you get an Achievement, but that can't be the only way. Humans are unreliable and untrustworthy and making others rely on them to get Achievements is only going to result in pain.
     
    3) No more than 50% of a game's Achievements should be obtainable as part of completing the main story. No one cares about those ones! It's not "oh no, I had to work so hard to follow the neon signs down the path that the developers painstakingly designed for the lowest common denominator, I'm so glad I was rewarded for this", it's usually "oh... a consolation prize... yay..." It cheapens the Achievement brand, and it's just insulting. Sure, it can be handy to know how far you are in a game, sort of like announcing chapters in a book. However, you could just do what Half Life 1 did in the days before Achievements and just, you know, tell the player that they've advanced to the next part of the game? The only reason I could possibly see for not banning these (with the exception of an Achievement for completing the main storyline) would be so that you can check how far your friend has advanced through a game so that you can avoid spoiling what is to come next.
     
    4) No hidden or vague Achievements. I shouldn't have to look up a guide to find out what I have to do for an Achievement let alone what the Achievement is. If they're hidden to avoid spoilers, find a way to write the description of what you have to do a different way. If this is hard, try hiring better writers.
     
    5) If an Achievement requires the player to complete an action a certain number of times, there MUST be a visible counter to help the player track his or her progress. This is pretty self-explanatory. I should have to mentally tally how many times I do something or just keep doing something until I get the Achievement popup. The game is already counting for me. Why can't it just show its work? Lots of games already do this, it needs to be standard.
     
     
     
    I propose that the governments of the world sign an agreement to make a Ministry of Achievements (or Department of Achievements depending on your government's terminology) that regulates all games their country publishes. Not only will this governing body work to ensure that the 5 Commandments of Achievements are followed, but they will also work to ensure that Achievements are challenging but not impossible. Hopefully this will permit the art-form to flourish and will prevent unscrupulous game developers from releasing substandard video games.
     
    Please remember SPIRIT's 5 Commandments of Achievements the next time you're voting. Thank you.
  12. SPIRIT
    Did you ever hear the tragedy of King Sidorak the Wise?
     
    I thought not. It's not a story the Toa would tell you. It's a Brotherhood legend. Sidorak was a King of the Visorak Horde, so powerful and so wise he could use his Herding Blade to influence the Visorak to steal life... He had such a knowledge of the Visorak that he could even keep the ones he cared about from Keetongu...
     
    The Brotherhood of Makuta is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural...
     
    He became so powerful... the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his queen everything he knew, then his queen killed him with Keetongu. Ironic, he could save others from Keetongu, but not himself.
  13. SPIRIT
    So for fun, I thought I'd go through the different forums to find out which is the highest voted topic by Reputation Points. And then hand out pretend Internet Medals to the ones with the best score.
     
    Obviously Reputation Points are totally unbiased and a completely accurate metric for the quality of a post.
     
    ... Actually, I don't think anyone really looks at them. BUT I DID. FOR SCIENCE.
     
    The following is a list of the top 10 Comedies on BZPower based on the Reputation Points held by its first post... at the date and time that this blog entry was posted. Obviously there's nothing to stop people from going around and adding more points to their favourite Comedies, but I'll know that you did it. And I'll do the "shame on you hand gesture".
     
    Uh... so yeah, the list:
     
    10. ~♥~ Kokoro no Ice ~♥~ by GSR with 13 Points
     
    9. Staring Contest Continues by Onuki with 16 Points
     
    8. WHAT IS THE POTOO?! 2 by Voltex with 17 Points
     
    7. The Adventures of Sumiki's Dad - by Sumiki's Dad's Son with 20 Points
     
    6. Wedding Announced by Onuki with 23 Points
     
    4. (Tie) WHAT IS THE POTOO?! by Voltex with 26 Points
     
    4. (Tie) Hakuna Vakama by Onuki with 26 Points
     
    3. Poor Kongu... by SPIRIT with 28 Points
     
    2. Game, Set, Match by Eyru with 30 Points
     
    1. The Kaita and the Storyteller by GSR with 35 points
     
    Congratulations to GSR for getting the gold, Eyru for getting silver, and me for getting bronze. Special mention to Voltex and Onuki, the only people not in the top 3, but still in the top 10 multiple times. Ordinarily, I'd make the winners wonderful medals in Microsoft Paint, but as we all know, Microsoft Paint is being discontinued, and that's totally the reason not because I'm lazy.
     
     
    So what forum should I do next?
  14. SPIRIT
    If Lego put me in charge of doing a solid Bionicle Gen 3 reboot, I'd worldbuild the new island around the theme of renewable energy. It'd be easy to divide by element, and who wouldn't want a generation of youth imagining a cleaner planet?
     
    The setup would be that you've got these robots living on a tropical island with these jury-rigged energy capturing devices that help power their meager villages. Kind of like a rural Star Wars planet.
     
    Ta-Koro: Geo thermal. Village built by a volcano. No brainer.
     
    Ko-Koro: Hydro electric. There isn't a lot you can do with ice, but you can do a lot with mountains. Waterfalls, dams, that sort of thing. That being said, you'd have to make the Ko-Matoran more of a mountain people than an ice people.
     
    Ga-Koro: Wave power. This is totally a thing (look it up). You've got these generators on the ocean that turn the movement of waves into power. Plus Ko-Koro doesn't have anything else that makes sense, so had to give them hydro.
     
    Onu-Koro: Nuclear power (or at least something similar). An almost endless power source that you can just dig up from the ground. Remind anyone of lightstones?
     
    Le-Koro: Solar power. Let's double down on the jungle theme here and back off on the air theme. Jungle is a fine element. Plants grow using solar power. Plus Ta-Koro already had geothermal so someone needed to take solar.
     
    Po-Koro: Wind power. Stone was a dumb element anyway. Make Le-Koro be about plants and let Po-Koro be a big windy field with windmills all over the place.
     
     
     
    Regardless of what Lego does end up doing, it would be nice if we got a bit more worldbuilding for Gen 3 than we did for Gen 2.
     
    How would you worldbuild for Gen 3?
  15. SPIRIT
    So long story, but I ordered a GameBoy Color game off Amazon and it just arrived today.
     
    So I popped it in and turned it on and goodness gracious me.
     
    I used to play on this? For multiple hours at a time? WITH NO BACK LIGHT?! How do I have any eyesight at all???? This screen is so absurdly tiny. A 2.32 inch display? Are you joking me?
     
    I got my GameBoy Color almost 17 years ago. I can't wait to see what gaming is like in 2034.
  16. SPIRIT
    Now before I begin, I should state that I am not trained as a psychologist. However I have taken like 3.5 courses in psychology, and I am an incredibly judgmental person, so I think that's just as good.
     
    The science behind this super accurate and totally legitimate personality test is that I judge people based on their favourite colour. So think of what your favourite colour is and look at the list below to see what your results are!
     

    -----




    Results


    Blue: You weak and watery milquetoast of a sheep! Your favourite colour is blue? Like the most popular favourite colour in the world? Yawn! Boring! How's that 9-5 accounting job going for you? Did you just assume that yawning is a sign of people listening to you? Because it isn't, you're just that boring. The human eye can detect 10 million different colours and you went and chose the most boring one.
     
    Red: Hey buddy! Now we're talking! This is the colour of champions! Of movers and shakers. Red is a symbol of power! Red gets things done! Gryffindor? They were red. Luke Skywalker? Red Five. James from Thomas the Tank Engine? Son, you'd better believe he was red too. They even did a study that showed that red tends to win more often than blue. It's just science!
     
    Orange: Aw, come on. Don't be like that. You're just a red-liker who can't quite handle the intensity and wonder that is red. I get it. It's a lot to live up to. Orange is a pretty good second. Tahu's orange arms and legs complimented his red everything else rather nicely. You need to believe in yourself, son. You've got that passion within, you just need to set it free.
     
    Yellow: Ugh, get out of here with that. Yellow? I bet you're a morning person too. Oh and on behalf of everyone you interact with on a daily basis, you talk way too loud. Most of us don't want to handle you in the morning, let alone any other time of the day with your constant sunshine demeanour. Luckily for you, the laws of this land prohibit murdering people whose favourite colour is yellow... I think. Let me look this one up and get back to you.
     
    Green: Well, at least you didn't say blue. I'll give you that. Green isn't that much better, though. Earth is a blue and green planet. You know what we have way too much of? Blue and green! Let me guess. You're probably at the bottom tier of your class, the lower end of the bell curve. You're the sort of person who picks Bulbasaur when Charmander and Squirtle are standing right in front of me. Enjoy being a disappointment to the species.
     
    Azure: Shut up, this is still blue. I don't care that Italian considers it a different colour. It's still blue. What's worse, it's even a worse version of blue. It's such a bad version of blue that the default colour palate on this board doesn't list it. Why don't you take a good hard look at your life and try to be a better person?
     
    Pink: This is a bit more complicated. If you're a girl, woopdeedoo. Way to fight all stereotypes and millennia of oppression. Yes, every marketing department your entire life has told you this is what you want, but maybe try growing a backbone for a change! You can't all like pink. Where's your sense of individuality and desire to break from from the shackles of society? And if you're a guy, come on. This is a very serious personality test. Just say red or lightish red. You aren't fooling anyone.
     
    Purple: Once again, this one is twofold. If you're a girl, let's get real. You just picked this one because pink was too girly. Well tough tamales, this one is almost just as bad. This is like trying to put out a fire with a squirtgun, not that you'd know anything about that, trapped in your minimum wage pink-collar job. And if you're a guy... okay, look. Purple does have red in it, but you're not fooling anyone. You're just trying to be subversive. "Oh look at me, I like purple. I'm so random and fun!" Well, you're neither. Purple was only cool if you were the emperor of Rome and those leaves in your hair definitely aren't laurels, they're just a product of you only bathing once a month.
     
    Black: Ooooh, I'm sooooo scared. You must be a deep and dreary old soul. "Oh look at me, I like black. I'm only slightly more annoying than the people that point out that black isn't a real colour." Maybe you are or were a goth or maybe you're a giant hipster, but I won't abide this at all. Your favourite colour is black? A.k.a. the absence of light. Shut up, no it isn't. Why don't you do some soul searching and come up with a favourite colour that doesn't make you look like a pretentious doofus.
     
    Grey: What? Was black too hardcore for you? You're like a black-liker and an azure-liker had a baby and then only read it the financial section of the New York times growing up.
     
    Brown: No, your favourite colour isn't brown. I don't care what you say or how many times you invoke the mighty name of Pohatu, your favourite colour isn't brown. Brown is nasty colour you get when you mix all the paints together. Maybe you misread your heart and didn't realize that Wikipedia defines brown as a shade of orange. In which case, scroll up because there's hope for you yet. Brown... Honestly, the only other explanation is that you were the kid who ate dirt, which is probably all you'll be able to afford once your boss finds out how much of a waste of space you are.
     
    White: Are you kidding me? White? No, get out. I'm not even going to discuss this one. You are literally the worst person to ever walk this planet. I think Genghis Khan mentioned that his favourite colour was white after he finished beheading his 10 millionth peasant. So why don't you pack up all your possessions and move to Mongolia? At least then we won't have to deal with you over here.
     
    Anything Else: Look, if your favourite colour isn't on this list and you don't work in a paint store, you don't actually have any friends. You've got a lot of people who will spend time in close proximity to you out of pity or who are perhaps planning your murder because you're such an obnoxious person. In fact, it might be a good idea right now to print out your Facebook friend list and send that to the police with a brief explanation. That isn't to say that the police won't murder you too, but at least the rest of us won't have to put up with you any more. Like especially if your favourite colour is a town in Kanto, that's a dead giveaway that it's only a matter of time until everyone standing around your open casket remarking, "you know, I'm okay with this."
     

    -----


    So yeah. Post your results in the comments! This may surprise some of you, but my favourite colour was red! I know, crazy, right? This test is soooooo accurate!
×
×
  • Create New...