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So, came out to my parents (kinda sorta. Like, I didn't say it straight out, but they kiiinda put the pieces together that I'm queer at the very least). My dad isn't too thrilled, but he understands the science behind it, and he was actually kinda supportive with my mom. Weird. I really don't think I'm in a good place to start dating just yet anyway, so I don't mind it, really. ^^; At any rate, I think volunteer work will do me some good to keep active, but I'm going to keep working on getting a job first. A fresh start sounds refreshing, because having your life flash before your eyes and then be living at home is... Well, it can be a little overwhelming, to say the least. Speaking of volunteer work, I'm donating my hair this month. It is fabulous; a natural curl and a nice dark brown color. I'm going to include a hand-written note if they'll allow it. ^^; Things at my current job are still weird. I'm even more spacey than usual, and things are getting humid and warm (not great for my lungs with all of the pollen). I've been communicating and tossing ideas around, and it seems like people are acting a little less stressed out around me at least. There are a couple of LGBT+ people at work too, so hopefully they take my advice about the job. Everyone in the kitchen staff during my time there has been more on the artistic and open-minded side of things in general, and we've always been pretty close-knit and had each other's backs. Our issues were almost always completely ignored, though. Not exactly the best situation for someone with anxiety. The food industry is such a weird one. XD I have good contacts, though, and, like, every religious person I've spoken to has been surprisingly accepting and willing to listen. Apparently I can be good at this. XD I mean... the situation still isn't great, mind you, but... I mean, if I ever showed up with a guy someday I think the awkward zone would be managable. (Oh geez, I can picture it now... The looks we'd get just holding hands down the street... XD) My pets have been a huge support too. ^^ I think I have a nice nickname for my future kid; Link. Robin Williams was a huge part of my childhood, and he was a fan of the game series Legend of Zelda. Actually, Ocarina of Time was one of the first video games I really got into, and it helped me bond with my best friend from childhood (like, it was all we would talk about. XD). It's kinda the reason why green became my favorite color (It used to be red). Granted while adopting, it would only be an affectionate term. I think it would be a good reminder while my head is jumping from subject to subject as an adult. ^^; So... maybe in around... five to ten years? Who knows?
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Alright. So. Drama happened. It happens. That's life. I stated in my previous entry that I wanted to use these blog entries to express my personal views on LGBT+ issues. So, what did I do wrong? I censored myself. While I personally do not identify with trans binary binary trans (I was told "the trans binary" can refer to the binary spectrum. The proper terminology is binary trans), I do still fit into the trans spectrum. While I personally think my identity is subjective, it is still my opinion on who I am the same way my opinion on the issue was my opinion. I also said the point of these entries was to address issues and represent myself properly. If any of you are offended by anything I say, I am terribly sorry. However, I am a member of this site, and like anyone here I should feel safe to express my opinion. It should not matter to me personally if I am in the majority or minority. That is my opinion. When I censor myself without addressing the issue "why" then I am supporting an idea that someone else gets to decide what I think. Being lumped into a minority of LGBT+, that is where the offense came from. Arguably it is silencing and opression. But it was not the fault of the member who pointed it out. I was the person opressing myself. So, from here on out, what you see is what you get with these entries. No more erasure. That is my opinion. That is my right as a member of this site. Everyone else here has the same right. I see no reason why my orientation should change that. Amendment: I reserve the right to edit grammatical mistakes for the purposes to keep the content clear to read. General rule of thumb is standard autocorrect or spellcheck. Now, as for "this could be offensive to the trans people I offended" I feel I should address the fact that I asked a personal binary trans friend of mine what his opinions are on how I handled things went. He advised me to treat this as a learning experience. I agree with that sentiment, as I have stated in my previous entry. Basically, no matter which way you look at it, I share blame in what took place for allowing things to spiral out of control. I am trying to learn and move past it. I know this is tedious, but if you disagree please bear with me here. I am still learning. And I do encourage respectful debate. Another point of these entries is to nitpick my opinions and allow me to become more open minded and to learn. Please be respectful to each other in the comments. Now then. I have made blog entries in the past about Eastern Philosophy. I have seen a few comments popping up about that. It's true, there is something about the concept I find interesting. However, as many people in the blog comments pointed out, there were flaws with my logic. So, why am I interested in that philosophy? Well, when it boils down to it; I really can't say myself. Maybe it's escapism from my personal prejudice. Maybe it's because I genuinely like philosophy. At any rate, my friends have told me over the years that I remind them of a philosopher. Personally I think it's an interesting thought. I don't deny I do like philosophical studies. The Ship of Theseus, ideas behind Quantum Physics, even religions to an extent. While I personally am not an expert on religions, I have been told Eastern Religions tend to be more philosophical. So, maybe that's where that's coming from? Who knows. At any rate, I do like articulating my thoughts. It helps me deal with seeing blatant contrary evidence everywhere I look. I've said before it's why I like playing devil's advocate. I believe there are two sides to every story on some level. I am gay because I say I am gay. I am nonbinary because I say I am nonbinary. I am a man because I say I am a man. I am a member of this site because I say I am a member of this site. I am a human being because I say I am a human being. I am a living organism because I say I am a living organism. I think therefore I am. Those are differring levels to my personal subjective identity. I think all humans can connect on some level the same way all living things can connect on some level. So, when I see two people who are so similar from any walk of life disagree... I literally see two sides of the same coin harming each other unintentionally. When two members of the LGBT+ community fight and censor each other, I see one human censoring another human. When I see a person whose orientation is ambiguous or straight call out a member of the LGBT+ community, I see a human being calling a human being an insensitive word. When I see a member of the LGBT+ community call someone a bigot, I see a human being calling another human being an insensitive word. We can argue the pedantics until the cows come home; ultimately it's a problem. Look, everyone. We are all members on this site. We're also different people. Everyone clashes heads from time to time. It happens. And yes, every situation is different, and one person's pain cannot be measured to another's, but let's not just overlook the fact that two people are in pain. I see this everywhere I look. This is me trying to say I've personally had enough. Just because of my personal views, I see no reason why I cannot have faith. Edit: Via anonymous. I agree with this viewpoint. This is how I personally use the word "bigot." This is why I do not like throwing it around loosely. People's instinctive emotions can cloud their judgement easily, especially when they have a condition. Personal here: I have recently started anxiety medication. One of the side effects is being more jittery in general. If I come across as over-emotional lately, I apologize. But this is also my point. Not everyone knows about my medication or my orientation if I leave it ambiguous. Defining yourself is one thing. Defining somebody else can be quite another.
