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This is a review topic for The Immortals. Ths has nothing to do with the Henry Cavill movie of the same name (in which case, here's my review: it sucked), but a little epic I decided to start. At first I thought I was going to do a short story based off of a scene and inner dialogue I had in my head a couple of days ago, but the point that I wanted to get to needed more building up to it so I stretched out the story into several chapters. Either way, hopefully I can express some of the feelings I've been having lately in such a way that this resonated with readers.24601
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As the title makes evident, this is the topic in which your reviews, comments, and such are intended to be posted, I hope you enjoy the story.Epic topic
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You can you can tell what you think of LEGO HERO FACTORY MISSION REPORT TOP SECRET….MISSION X. here. PIRAKA FOREVER!!!!!
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Wings Series Heroes and Halflings Lightning Strikes Twice Wings Author's Note: Let’s face it, gang, it’s been a long trip. When the original version of Heroes and Halflings was posted in Summer 2008, I sure didn’t expect to expand upon the story to the point of two sequel epics. My mindset at the time was to write it and then move on to bigger things, of which I still had no idea (and I still have no idea). Boom boom pow and goodbye.That was not the case. And now, about three years later (give or take a month) here we are again, poised upon the brink of another adventure, with no knowing where we’ll end up when it finishes. I’ve got a lot of things and people to thank, but most importantly, I have J.R.R. Tolkin and his Lord of the Rings series to thank. To be more specific, the inspiration for Wings came to me the summer before this one, while I was watching The Fellowship of the Ring for the hundred millionth time. The end of Lightning Strikes Twice was in sight, and I’d prepared my defense for when I announced I wouldn’t continue the story after it. Then, out of the blue, an idea hit me, and it wasn’t until I’d designed the basic plot idea that I realized that I was doing what I’d decided not to do.Well, there’s no stopping a plot bunny once it has you. By the time Lightning Strikes Twice was completed, Wings was well on its way to becoming the third part of my own little trilogy, at the expense of my other epic’s well-being (sorry, HitM …). And now, here we are.Enjoy the show. =)Story GuideLocationsAmari Islands: A chain of far-south islands, made up of six landmasses. Home to Xi-Koro, a village of (mostly) Lightning Matoran. Currently led by Turaga Stara.Va-Koro: Northern Continent village, said to be the oldest settlement in universe. Home to largest settlement of Ce-Matoran.Shi-Nui: Island located south of Metru Nui; major trading port for the northern universe and a favorite target of pirates as a result. Ruled by Turaga Echidna.Rohaya: An abandoned island not far southeast from Shi-Nui; once a base for the disbanded Toa Rohaya.Aleris: A Northern Continent city, Aleris is called the “City of Opportunity.” (Property of Repicheep – Toa of Irony)CharactersToaStiaye: Toa of Lightning; comes from Amari Islands. She is the bearer of the Spear of Ajax, the only weapon known to destroy halflings straight-up. She wears a Kanohi Mask of Telekinesis that has the imprint of a lightning bolt across her right eye; carries Spear of Ajax and Electric Spear (carved to resemble Spear of Ajax to fool would-be thieves). Recently lost her hand to Rarin and had it replaced with a mechanical version.Japoro: Toa of Ice that is part of Stiaye’s group; homeland unknown. Carries a sword and shield; wears Kanohi Matatu. Inventive and clever, he is far more social than others of his tribe.Amphitrite: Toa of Water and Japoro’s significant other. Quick-tempered and impatient, she often jumps headfirst into whatever danger comes to the group, preferring to embrace the warrior side of her people rather than the alternative. She is native to Shi-Nui, but her past is shrouded in mystery. Carries aqua saber and two pincer shields; wears Kanohi Mahiki. (Also known as Subject 39.)Aeolus: Toa of Air native to Metru Nui and Stiaye’s love interest. Unlike others of his tribe, Aeolus is far more serious and less inclined to joke around, though he still uses his native chute-speak. He wears the Kanohi Kadin and carries twin longswords.Castor: Toa of the Green and leader of the Shi-Nui Toa.Enki: Toa of Earth and deputy-leader of the Shi-Nui Toa.Eurus: Toa of Air and former soldier in the Destiny War; member of the Shi-Nui Toa.Kalima: Toa of Psionics and leader of the Toa of Va-Koro; youngest of the group.Zraie: Toa of Fire; Toa of Va-Koro.Morian: Toa of Stone; oldest of the Va-Koro Toa and de facto leader of the group.MatoranKya: Matoran of unknown element who lives outside Va-Koro. Has no memory of her past life before arriving in the area, but believed to have a past with the defunct Brotherhood of Makuta. Wears Great-style Kanohi Cereva, Mask of Adaptation. (Also known as Subject 17.)Bism: Po-Matoran trader of jewelry and gemstones; old friend of Kya. Seems to have a way with Rahi, as he has been able to train creatures most others cannot. Wears Great-style Kanohi Romata, Mask of Mutation. (Also known as Subject 24.)Adridne: Right-hand Xi-Matoran of Turaga Stara.Chaka: Xi-Matoran from the Amari Islands; astrologer for Xi-Koro.Kouki: Ko-Matoran of the Amari Islands with gold markings; thought to have some connection to Stara.Razra: Xi-Matoran of the Amari Islands; has connections with Kouki.Sekmet: Deceased Xi-Matoran of the Amari Islands; betrayed her people upon the urging of Makuta Kiria and helped exile Stara from Xi-Koro; died on Amari Island Notus.Luxa and Narissa: Xi-Matoran friends of Sekmet – Narissa was the astrologer that mentored Chaka and Stara, while Luxa was the former Chronicler – that were killed in the successful attempt to frame Stara for murder.TuragaStara: Former Toa of Lightning of the Amari Islands; framed for murder and exiled not long after her transformation, 10 years before the Great Cataclysm. Served on Rohaya for over 800 years before being reprieved and returning home; became Turaga five years later as part of the Rebirth.Echidna: Water Turaga of Shi-Nui; during her time as a Toa, became the last member of her team in the aftermath of the Toa-Dark Hunter War and worked alongside Toa Rohaya during the years of the Rohaya-Shi-Nui Pact. Took part in the Rebirth and became Turaga after the death of her predecessor.Nuju: Ice Turaga; one of the six Toa Metru and fought the halflings of Rohaya soon after the return to Metru Nui. Fell in love with Stara during that time, and she with him, but were forced to separate soon after their task on Rohaya was complete. Later became progenitor of the halfling Deimos, but was rescued by Stiaye and her friends.SpiritsShiri: Toa of Light from Ajax’s dimension; slain by the halfling Eris but her spirit did not rest. Her soul later became fused to Ajax’s new Spear and used the Toa Power stored inside to destroy her killer. Was transported to the current world and became Stiaye’s silent guardian, finally manifesting to Kya when she fled Rarin.Ajax: Toa of Fire that forged the Spear of Ajax; was killed but came back to guard his Spear from malevolent hands; passed it on to Stiaye before passing on to the afterlife.Kronus: Toa of Gravity that had led the Toa Rohaya in life, but was killed protecting Stara from death. Dwelled on Notus with the rest of his deceased team and Ajax, among others Toa spirits, before Stiaye took possession of the Spear; passed on after giving her and Nuju charms that allow them to communicate.OtherRarin: Enhanced lower-class Steltian and servant of Makuta Hecate. Is faster and smarter than other members of his kind, having the power over stone, and is fiercely loyal to his master.Hecate: Female Makuta with mastery of viruses and mutation. Is very calm and logical, but very kind towards her servant Rarin.Tageria: Female Makuta – while clever, isn’t the sharpest knife in the block. The fall of the Brotherhood has struck her particularly hard, up to the point that she abuses Rarin when she is angered.Visotoran: Grotesque hybrids of Matoran and Visorak created by Hecate to serve her. Are blind, but have enhanced other senses that enable them to fight. They have six legs and six arms – two arms with blades protruding from their wrists, two with giant crab-claws, and two with seven-fingered needles for extremities. They are blindly loyal to Hecate, able to think but unable to rebel.Nightborn: Monster-servants to Karzahni in ancient times, said to be the ones that bear the condemned away to their master’s realm. They are accompanied by the strange husks of Matoran known as Nemesi and a flight of crows. Vanished from their native realm after their master’s exile, but still haunt the universe.Terms/EventsGerilmi: Term for beings with no fixed home; Matoran for “Wanderer”. (This can be slightly derogative, since it implies that the being in question has no loyalty.)Reborn/Rebirth: Event that happened about five years after the destruction of the Brotherhood, caused by the near-simultaneous use of Toa Stones created by remaining Toa.RahiSerohes: Four-legged, herbivorous Rahi that are best known for their fine manes of metal and heavy hooves. While they are bigger, stronger, and faster than Ussal crabs, they are more resistant to domestication than the more common Ussal, with only a few being trained by various beings.Thundercats: Sleek, black armored felines with golden markings, thundercats are distant cousins to the rock lion and are best known for their blistering speed and the electrical shocks they generate to paralyze their prey. They are considered to be the unofficial mascots of the Lightning tribes.Needle Wolves: A breed of Kavinika mutated by Makuta Hecate, they are feared and hated by veterans of the Destiny War. They are called so because of their pelts resemble layers of long, sharp needles: when upright, they can badly injure an opponent, but they offer strong protection when lying flat. They are extremely intelligent and were favored as “guard dogs” for Brotherhood fortresses. Some rogue packs still wander the universe, but most have been either killed or placed in the Metru Nui Archives.Storm Hawks: A breed of Nivawk that was mutated by Hecate, Storm Hawks are twice as big as their unmutated cousins, and while they are unable to control the weather, these fliers can whip up powerful winds with the beating of their wings. They are extraordinarily intelligent and usually work in pairs with riders, but their size made them easy targets during the Destiny War. A few were captured and placed in the Archives after the War, but some still live in the wilder places in the universe.Golums: Towering statues with special machines studding their joints, Golums are creatures of stone animated by the Makuta, and were mostly used as remote-controlled demolition crews or brute squads. Loathed by the Destiny War veterans as much as the Needle Wolves, Golums – while slow, clumsy, and brainless – devastated the Toa during the Destiny War, killing many just by stepping on them. A smaller version of the Golums, created several years later, were quicker and more agile, but they always mirror the actions of the one that controls them. After the War, the Vortixx and the Matoran of Metru Nui took authority of the surviving Golums to study their technology.Shrieks: A mutated hybrid of Ice Bats and Necrofinches created by Hecate, Shrieks are small and easy to kill, but it was their numbers and sonic abilities that caused the deaths of hundreds of soldiers. Shrieks always travel in flocks, and as they constantly make very loud noise, a few dozen could deafen entire squads until their numbers were thinned. As Shrieks are notoriously fast, they were key to distracting enemy groups so Brotherhood troops could flank them. They had no other war purpose except as a distraction. After the Destiny War, some Shrieks were placed in the Archives for study, while the rest were nearly hunted to extinction. A few still live on the Southern Continent, though there are no signs of devastating flocks.Other ThingsInspiration [*]Lord of the Rings trilogy[*]Repicheep’s Tales of the Nui-Matoran series[*]Kagha’s epic Daybreak[*]Philip Pullman’s His Dark Materials trilogy[*]Mercedes Lacky’s The Snow Queen[*]Tamora Pierce’s Circle of Magic series, in particular Shatterglass and Street Magic[*]Christopher Paolini’s Inheritance cycle[*]Lady Kopaka’s Glitch in the System[*]Saya (Bahamut PURE)’s The Painmaker (which I credit to being the very origin to the Heroes and Halflings series)Cameos H&H Series Soundtracks -Inferna
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This is where you can review my epic, Hero Factory: The Biosteel Chronicles. It can be found here.So, to kick things off, a wee bit of trivia. This story is the first Lego based one I have ever written. Thus, it's not too great. This story was also based completely off of MOC characters, including one character that was borrowed from another user on another site.But I digress. My first chapter is up, go to it.
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A review topic for my epic. CC is appreciated.Story topic: http://www.bzpower.com/board/index.php?showtopic=2860
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This is the review topic for Annus Mirabilis: The Year of the Miracle. As per Epics rules, all discussion of the epic goes here, etc.CONTENTSI. Force MajeureII. Malum in SeIII. Cacoëthes ScribendiIV. Ignis FatuusV. Hic JacetVI. Fons et OrigoVII. Ultima ThuleVIII. Primus Inter ParesIX. Bête BlancheX. Feu de JoieXI. Mise-en-Scène
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This is the review topic of my new epic, The Race Against Time and Evil. It's a story about a group of Matoran that warn villages about Delva-Nui's impending doom and become Toa. Who knew the selfishness of a Matoran would escalate into a perilous adventure?
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So, my writing experience on the BZP forums has just begun. "Team curse" is up now ( it's here ), and here you can tell me if you like it or not, give me advices on how can I refine my writing or how could the plot go on. Feedback is truly welcome!
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Here's my review topic for my new epic, Chronicles of Tahu: Dark Destiny of Legends! I hope you enjoy it, and please leave a review!i love reviews
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This is the review topic for Secrets of the Star, a series I wrote that follows The Powers That Be and The Yesterday Quest (Links in my signature.) Please leave C&C and don't troll!
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This epic details the adventures of Takanuva and Shadow Takanuva on Spherus Magna. Black indicates Shadow Takanuva's perspective, White indicates Takanuva's perspective. I will try not to let it die this time and have at least the next chapter finished by the time I post another chapter, just in case I have no time to write. So, without further ado, let the journey begin!
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This is the review topic for my continuation of The Yesterday Quest. Please leave C&C, and don't troll!
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This is the review topic for Knights of the Green, please give me some feedback guys!
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The review topic for The Gunsmith: http://www.bzpower.com/board/index.php?showtopic=5381&hl=
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Hello and welcome to the review topic of my most recent short epic, The Ghost King's Tragedy, which you can read here.The epic, once I have finished posting it, will be ten chapters long. I will post one chapter a week every Wednesday, so make sure to check back every Wednesday for the next chapter in this story.Character bios:Name: The Ghost KingSpecies: UnknownGender: MalePersonality: Paranoid and fearful, to the point of insanity. Extremely distrustful of strangersWeapon: SwordPowers: The true extent of his powers are unknown, although it is known that he can control sound, read minds, and become immaterialName: AkunaSpecies: ToaGender: FemalePersonality: Practical and to the point, though can be stubborn and recklessWeapon: Dagger-tipped staffPowers: Can control lightning (is a Toa of Lightning)Mask Power: Kanohi Ruru, Mask of Night VisionFirst appearance: The Tales of Shika Nui (epic)Name: KiriahSpecies: ToaGender: FemalePersonality: Fairly absentminded and a bit slow-witted, but is loyal to her friends and sticks to her job no matter whatWeapon: Crescent bladePowers: Has psionic powers (is a Toa of Psionics)Mask Power: Mask of HealingFirst appearance: Dimension Hoppers (epic)Name: Oggakia (known as Oggak)Species: ToaGender: FemalePersonality: Intelligent and thoughtful, but can be cold towards others and doesn't always work well with othersWeapon: SwordPowers: Can control shadow (is a Toa of Shadow)Mask Power: Mask of DreamsFirst appearance: An Unlikely Alliance (epic)Name: AhovaSpecies: ToaGender: FemalePersonality: Cheerful and honest, although talks too much and sometimes fails to take the situation seriously enoughWeapon: Magnetic gauntletsPowers: Can control magnetism (is a Toa of Magnetism)Mask Power: Kanohi Kakama, Mask of SpeedFirst appearance: Dimension Hoppes: The Other TaleName: The Master of MistSpecies: N/AGender: MalePersonality: Mysterious and engimatic and short tempered with less intelligent beings. Highly intelligentWeapon: N/APowers: Can control mist, although the fullest extent of his powers is unknownMask Power: N/ACritcisms, comments, questions, etc. are all welcome .-TNTOS-
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Well, this is a little late, but Brave is still in theaters, so I'll review it still. The plot is one of the strangest plots I've ever seen for a princess movie. For a character that will probably join the endless ranks of princess-related items, Merida broke the steryotype. She didn't have the "find-prince-get-married" that is expected in so many of these movies. In fact, the plot relies on that. But more on that later. The characters are well fleshed-out, though I thought that Merida's father could have had more screen time. He seems like the typical father, with the normal instincts for hunting, fighting, and just having a party with the other guys. I think he could have been less ordinary. Merida's mother drove the plotline. She is the constant behind Merida, the one that pushes her to always be better than she is. Although she hates Merida's sloppiness, and constant tom-boyishness, she finally realizes in the end what's the most important thing. Finally, comes merida. (Not you, Kraggh ) She broke every rule in the princess handbook. She slouched, fought, ran, and didn't comb her hair. Although she loves her parents, she feels misunderstood; something kids relate to. She wishes that she were a boy, or allowed to do what she wants. This breaks into the storyline, as Merida turns to witchcraft to change her fate. If you were to describe Merida in a word, it would be feminist. In summary, Brave is not your ordinary princess movie. It's feminist, and although it does not disappoint as a Pixar movie, It falls short of other movies like UP, Monsters Inc. , and the Toy Story movies. -GB
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Christopher Nolan delivers, again. I could not have asked for such a great conclusion to this trilogy. Much in the same way he captured Joker, Catwoman and Bane lose much of their ridiculousness from the comics to give us much more realistic and gritty characters. Anne Hathaway, in my opinion, did an excellent job convincing me that she holds no allegiances to anyone but herself. Tom Hardy played a great Bane, even if he didn't get to shine much as an actor. Joseph Gordon-Levitt is quickly becoming a favorite actor of mine. Is it better than the Avengers? I couldn't say for sure, but it is certainly a great movie for completely different reasons. Once more people see it we get to talk about those sweet, sweet SPOILERS!
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The review topic for this story:http://www.bzpower.com/board/index.php?showtopic=5923Enjoy commentating!
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This, obviously, is the place where one can post feedback about my latest epic, No Honor Among Thieves. Please, come sit, and let's talk.But first, read the story.
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Post your reviews of the story here! Please note, this story is NOT supposed to be a parody, mash up, crossover, retelling, etc. I am just writting an Avengers styled story, with similar elements and plot, but it is supposed to still be a completely seperate story. Let me know if there is anything you like, didn't like, think I should consider, etc. Thanks and happy reading!
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This is the review topic for my epic Bionicle Evolution which can be found here http://www.bzpower.com/board/index.php?showtopic=4585Comments are appreciated as well as corrections on grammer and spelling that I may have missed.
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The review topic for my new story.Epic: http://www.bzpower.com/board/index.php?showtopic=4900&pid=274178&st=0entry274178
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This is for review of my new BZPRPG backstory epic, Psycho. Please check back regularly for an updated Table of Contents.Thanks for reading (and hopefully reviewing)!Table of ContentsPrologueChapter 1Chapter 2-Teezy
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Tales of Bota Magna -> http://www.bzpower.com/board/index.php?showtopic=4842Go ahead and tell me what you think! Don't be afraid to be a critique, I'm looking for all the advice I can get!
