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  1. Welcome, all, to the review topic of my most recent (and last) epic, In the End. Read the epic itself here. This epic serves not only as the finale to the Dawn Duology (consisting of this epic and the last, Dawn of the New Century), but also as the finale to my Bionicle fanfic universe (aka the Shikaverse) in general. It's been a fun ride, but with me putting more time into establishing my professional writing career, I feel like the Shikaverse's time has come. There's not much to say here, except that I suggest reading Dawn of the New Century first, if you haven't already. Some familiarity with the Shikaverse* in general would help, but it's really only Dawn that you need to read first, which can be found here. Comments, criticism, reviews, etc. are all welcome . *You can find links to other Shikaverse stories in the red link to my library in my sig. -TNTOS-
  2. TNTOS

    In the End

    Hi and welcome all to my newest epic, In the End, the final book in the Dawn Duology and the final epic set in my Bionicle fanfic universe (aka the Shikaverse). This epic is a sequel to Dawn of the New Century, which you can read here. I highly recommend that you read Dawn first, otherwise this epic won't make a lot of sense. Table of Contents: Prologue Chapter I Chapter II Chapter III Chapter IV Chapter V Chapter VI Chapter VII Chapter VIII Chapter IX Chapter X Chapter XI Chapter XII Chapter XIII Chapter XIV Chapter XV Chapter XVI Chapter XVII Chapter XVIII Chapter XIX Chapter XX Epilogue With that out of the way, enjoy: Prologue 150,000+ years ago. . . . The tiny Sawori named Jinka ran through the castle hallways as fast as her short legs could carry her. She ran by guards, who recognized her as the King's messenger, servants scrubbing the floors (almost tripping over a bucket of water in her haste to reach the throne room), and a Heratonian noble who under normal circumstances she would have stopped to greet. Instead, she shoved him aside and muttered a half-apology, even with the knowledge that she would probably get in trouble for that later. Right now, she needed to find the King and tell him about the visitors who were waiting for him outside the castle. She had no idea who they were; however, she sensed that to stand against them would be every bit as foolish as standing against the storm, and probably more lethal. She eventually reached the large double doors coated in gold that protected the King's throne room like a pair of sentinels. It took her a few more minutes to argue with the actual guards to let her in. They insisted that the King wanted complete privacy, whereas she insisted that the King could not afford to ignore her message. They eventually relented, although she caught them muttering foul curses at her under their breath as they opened the doors. When Jinka entered the throne room, she couldn't help but glanced around in awe even as her feet carried her forward. Unlike the rest of the castle, the throne room was bathed in life. Instead of a carpet, a fine layer of grass covered the floor, while vines of various colors covered the walls and ceiling, twisted together to resemble paintings or wallpaper. A tiny stream with a bridge built over it flowed through the center of the room, emerging from the right wall and going down the drain at the other end. It was like stepping outdoors. At the other end of the room, the throne was bare. Worried, Jinka almost turned around to leave before a soft, though authoritative, voice said, “Jinka, what brings you here?” Startled, Jinka looked around until she spotted a large, well-armored being kneeling in the center of a small garden of flowers and vegetables in the lower left corner of the room. She wondered how she had missed him, because he was so much larger than anything else in the room, although she reminded herself that the King's armor was capable blending in with nature in ways none of the Sawori understood. With the King's eyes on her, Jinka bowed deeply and she said, “King Atuje, you have six visitors who wish to speak with you.” The King of Life lifted a small watering can and poured some water on his flowers as he said, “Who are these six, Jinka? Emissaries from the south?” “No, my lord,” said Jinka, shaking her head. “They're, well, they're hard to describe. I have no idea who they are or where they even came from. They simply demanded an audience with you.” Atuje looked up at her. His eyes were searing, searching, as if he knew every secret she had ever held in her entire life. Few Sawori were capable of standing underneath that gaze and Jinka was no exception, shrinking back under his burning eyes as she would from a large fire. “Six strangers show up on my doorstep demanding an audience with me and you don't bother finding out their names, at the very least?” said Atuje. “I am disappointed with you, Jinka. I thought you knew better.” The disappointment in his voice was perhaps worse than his gaze, prompting Jinka to say hastily, “Well, my lord, I can describe them to you. They're tall, but not as tall as you, and wear black cloaks. And they, well, they radiate this power that reminded me of yours, so I thought-” “I have no equals,” said Atuje. “I would know about them if I did. You must be mistaken.” Jinka wanted to agree with Atuje under the weight of his gaze and words, but something inside her – that stubborn spirit that had earned her a beating more than once as a child – kept her mouth going. “No, my lord, they really do radiate the kind of power you wield. It's different, obviously, but I can tell it equals yours.” Atuje stopped watering his flowers. For a moment, Jinka feared punishment for her insolence, but then the King said, “Yes . . . you are right. I sense their power now. It is not insignificant, to be sure.” Jinka breathed a sigh of relief. “Do you wish for me to go down and retrieve them, sir?” “No need for that,” said an unfamiliar voice behind her. “We're already here.” Startled, Jinka looked over her shoulder and saw the six visitors from before standing in front of the closed double doors. She didn't know how they had gotten there. She hadn't heard the doors open and they certainly hadn't climbed in through one of the windows, as those were closed shut. “I should be a more considerate host,” said Atuje as he placed his watering can down and stood up. “My name is King Atuje, the King of Life and ruler of Heratone. What are your names?” The lead visitor took a step forward, causing Jinka to scramble out of his way so as to not be in the middle of things, like a good servant. “You can call us the Great Beings. My name is Angonce.” “You did not introduce the rest of your friends,” Atuje said. “Are they simply your servants or are you forgetful?” The one named Angonce shook his head. “Their names aren't important right now. At least, they won't be until we're done talking.” “And what makes you assume I wish to speak with any of you?” Atuje asked. “You rudely barged into my throne room and refuse to tell me your names. To me, this seems like the genesis of an invasion.” “Rest assured, King of Life, that we have no intention of taking your realm from you,” said Angonce, gesturing to one of the windows. “We are already the rulers of our own world, anyway. And honestly, one world is more than enough to occupy our time, so why would we ever want another world?” “There are some beings who do not use reason,” Atuje said as he picked a flower from his garden and sniffed it. “In my time, I've met more than a few power-hungry fools who let their desire to be the king of the hill blind them from logic and reason. How can I be certain you are not the same?” “Because you don't even know us yet,” Angonce said. “But we have heard of your power and knowledge, Atuje, and that is why we are here.” “Explain yourself.” “There's one thing you need to know about us Great Beings,” said Angonce, gesturing at his group. “The one thing we value above all else – above money, above power, above even our own people – is creation. We are creators by nature, scientists who want to figure out how the universe works. It is our duty as creators to learn as much as we can about everything. Ignorance rarely created anything worthwhile, after all; at least, that is our belief.” “So you have come to me for training or knowledge?” Atuje asked. “You sound like experienced creators already.” “Both,” said Angonce. “We wish to be your apprentices for a short while, at least long enough to learn the one secret we know you hold.” “And what might that secret be?” Atuje asked, dropping the tiny flower into the flowers at his feet. “The secret to creating life,” Angonce answered. “True life, not just a robotic imitation. We have heard that you create beings and creatures that are every bit as living those birthed by nature, identical down to the last particle. We believe that the next step in our growth as creators is to create life.” Curious, Jinka glanced at Atuje. All the Sawori knew about Atuje's secret, but none of them knew what it was. It was a secret Jinka was well-acquainted with, having had direct experience with it in the past. She only wished she could remember how Atuje had done it, although she supposed ignorance was for the best, as knowing how it was done would probably be useless information to her anyway. Atuje stepped out of his tiny garden, carrying a carrot that Jinka had not seem him pick, and sat down on his throne, which was made entirely of tightly woven branches grown to resemble a chair. When he sat down, he took a bite out of his carrot and crunched on it thoughtfully for a moment before addressing the Great Beings again. “That is perhaps the largest request anyone has made of me in the last ten years,” Atuje said. “And it is also the largest request I will have to deny in ten years.” A shift in the room's atmosphere made Jinka look at the Great Beings. Though they didn't appear to have moved from their current position, she sensed they were ready to act at any moment. Considering the sheer amount of raw power their forms radiated, Jinka figured a conflict between them and Atuje would level the entire land or at least the castle and the surrounding countryside. She just hoped it wouldn't come to that. “You deny our request?” Angonce said, the disbelief in his voice obvious, even though it was equally obvious he was trying to hide it. “Of course,” said Atuje. “The knowledge needed to create true life is powerful. In the wrong hands, it could lead to untold destruction and chaos. Only a fool would hand out this knowledge to whoever asked for it. And I am no fool.” Angonce took a deep breath and said, “Rest assured, Your Majesty, that we Great Beings have no intention of using this secret for malice. Our only desire is to create. Nothing more.” “Have you heard the story of the logger?” Atuje said. Angonce shook his head, as did the other Great Beings. “Let me tell you it,” said Atuje. “Once, a long time ago, there was a Sawori logger who discovered a large forest previously unknown to his people. It was a beautiful forest, so beautiful that he didn't want to cut down any of the trees, despite the high quality wood that was abundantly available. He chose to keep this knowledge a secret until one of his friends convinced him to tell the rest of the world about it. 'Think of the money you could make,' his friend said, 'by selling this wonderful wood to the rest of the world.' “Having spent his whole life on the edge of poverty, the logger agreed. He spread this knowledge far and wide to every corner of Heratone. When everyone heard of it, loggers from all over the country made a mad dash for the wood and leveled the entire forest in the process. Not a single tree survived the onslaught of wood-hungry loggers. The beauty that the logger had once loved so much was gone, so the logger – having nothing to look forward to but a continued life of poverty – killed himself, as these stories usually end.” “I'm afraid we're not much for stories,” said Angonce. “Nothing you say will dissuade us from getting that knowledge.” “The moral of the story is that good intentions often have bad consequences,” Atuje said. “Besides, I haven't even perfected the technique yet. All of my creations have never been truly living. They have always required some mechanical parts on my end so they can function. Jinka, come here.” Trembling, Jinka nonetheless obediently approached her master. When she reached his throne, she stopped and stood with her back to the Great Beings. She tried not to look up at Atuje's face, as she had an idea of what he was about to do and looking at him would just make it worse. “Jinka is one of my creations,” said Atuje, patting her gently on the head with one of his heavy hands. “One of the best, in fact. She is the only one who has managed to successfully integrate with Sawori society. I can sense you are surprised. She does look very much like your average Sawori, doesn't she?” In spite of herself, Jinka began breathing hard. She reminded herself that Atuje was a fair and merciful ruler, that he hated killing, and that whatever he was planning to do to her wouldn't be cruel or unnecessary, probably wouldn't even hurt in fact. None of that calmed her in the slightest. “That is an illusion, however, crafted by my ingenious hand,” Atuje continued. “Watch.” Atuje wrapped his thick fingers around her right arm, causing Jinka to whimper. “What are you going to do to her?” Angonce said. “She whimpered.” “It is nothing, I assure you,” said Atuje. “She is going to be fine. The way I built her makes what I am going to do possible without leaving any permanent damage.” Without warning, Atuje ripped off Jinka's right arm. Behind her, the Great Beings let out various noises of disgust and surprise, but Jinka didn't join them. She just looked at the socket where her right arm had been. A hollow socket was all that was left, but Jinka didn't cry out, even though she wanted to. She just waited patiently as Atuje lifted her disconnected arm up for the Great Beings to see. “Behold,” said Atuje in the voice of a creator explaining the intricacies of his craft. “Her entire body is like that. About the only part that cannot be taken off in that way is her head; otherwise, she would die.” “So she's not really alive at all,” said Angonce. “Just a puppet.” Those words stabbed at Jinka's heart like a knife as Atuje said, “Hardly a puppet. While she may not be perfectly organic, she is nonetheless one of my subjects and I will not tolerate such an insult to her being.” Atuje reconnected her right arm. Jinka swiveled it several times back and forth, trying to make sure he had put it back on correctly. She realized she was holding her breath, which she let out rather more loudly than she intended. “Do you still want to know how to create life?” Atuje asked. “After what I just showed you?” Jinka glanced over her shoulder at the Great Beings. Though they still faced Atuje, she sensed they had all come to some sort of agreement without saying a word. “Of course,” said Angonce, without a hint of hesitation in his voice. “We want more than anything else to improve our craft. Besides, we can already see ways to improve your work, if Jinka is representative of your ability.” Atuje stroked his chin. “If I accept you as apprentices, what will I get in exchange? What do you have to offer me that I cannot get on my own?” “Another secret of our own,” said Angonce. “One we know you don't know. It is called soul-splitting.” Atuje's interest was apparently piqued at the mention of that technique, as he leaned forward in his throne, although Jinka didn't know what the term meant. “You mean you know how to split souls?” Atuje asked. Angonce nodded. “All of us do. And we've agreed to exchange that secret for yours. We believe the exchange is fair. Do you agree?” “It is more than fair,” said Atuje. “It is generous. You are going to tell me how to cheat death, how to survive long after my physical body has given out in exhaustion. Do you realize what that means?” “Of course we do,” said Angonce. “But cheating death is useless if we do not know how to bring about life, wouldn't you agree? We can complete one another's mental libraries with an exchange of knowledge.” “Oh, yes,” said Atuje. “Yes, yes, of course. I will teach you what I know and you will teach me what you know. Deal?” “Deal,” said Angonce. “Now where shall we begin?” “I will take you to my laboratory,” said Atuje. “I can only perform my experiments down there. Jinka, I want you to inform the rest of the castle that we have guests whose will require accommodations similar to my own.” “Yes, sir,” said Jinka, bowing. “I will make sure everyone in the castle knows.” With that, Jinka dashed away from Atuje's throne, perhaps a bit quicker than she should have. She passed the six Great Beings, who barely acknowledged her, and reached the large double doors. When she stopped to look back, she saw that Atuje and the Great Beings were already deep in talk about matters she couldn't possibly comprehend. What am I doing? Jinka thought. I've got a job to do, one that doesn't involve gawking at our guests. Still, as Jinka exited the throne room and dashed down the stairs, she couldn't help but sense of feeling of ominousness hang over her head like a dark cloud. She ignored it, however, as she came upon the first of her fellow servants and began explaining to him what Atuje had told her. Whatever happened would be under the King's power. She had no right to worry about it. Review Topic
  3. Hello and welcome all to the review topic of my latest epic, Dawn of the New Century. You can read the epic itself here. Dawn is the first of a planned duology of epics of my Bionicle fanfiction universe, also known as the Shikaverse. This duology will be the finale of the Shikaverse, for it will resolve and answer many unresolved and unanswered plot points and questions from my past stories. As a result, when I sat down to write Dawn, I faced the task of trying to make it understandable to someone who has never read any of my past works while balancing it with a good story that can stand on its own. Frankly, though, whenever I had to decide whether to include an explanation or not, I generally chose to exclude it because I felt a good story is generally preferable to good exposition, however important that exposition might be. Having said that, I will be posting "Notes on the Shikaverse" within this review topic, which will give concise explanations for characters, ideas, terms, and locations that appear in this epic but are not explained or not explained well enough. Notes will only be provided for old characters, ideas, terms, and locations. New characters, ideas, terms, and locations introduced in Dawn will not be explained in the notes, as they should hopefully be explored and explained well enough within the story itself (though there will be a few exceptions). Notes are divided by the chapters in which past characters, ideas, terms, and locations are mentioned. - Notes on the Shikaverse: Chapter I: Kafor. Kafor is a Skakdi who has been on the run from the Dark Hunters for years, as she knows an important secret about the Shadowed One. She is a Seer, which means she occasionally has vague or obscure visions of the future, although why she has this ability has yet to be explained. First appeared in epic Dimension Hoppers: The Other Tale. Barc. Barc is a Roffican who runs and owns the bar called the Tarakava's Fist. He is the only person Kafor truly trusts, which basically makes him her only friend. First appeared in epic Dimension Hoppers: The Other Tale. Rofficans. "Roffican" is the name I have given to the species to which the Dark Hunter Krekka belonged to. In the official Bionicle story, they are usually called "bruisers," but as that is obviously not a species name, I had to make one up for the species. I first use the term in the epic Dimension Hoppers. Gadarians. The species name for the Glatorian. The Glatorian species has no official name in the canon, but for the purposes of this epic I had to make one up. I first use it in this epic. Chapter III: Kra-Matoran. A tribe of Matoran of Shadow created by the Great Spirit Mata Nui 150,000 years ago, toward the beginning of the old universe. Originally benign, the Kra-Matoran became greedy and tried to conquer the Matoran universe, but were defeated by the Order of Mata Nui and a Toa team called the Toa Avha. The entire tribe, save for a single villager, was banished to a pocket dimension called Wyoko, the entrance of which is barred by a Door that is locked by a Toa seal created by the Toa Avha. First appeared in Tapestry of Evil. Toa Akuna. A Toa of Lightning and one of the two surviving members of the Toa Shika. First appeared in The Tales of Shika Nui. Toa Kiriah. Toa Kiriah is a Toa of Psionics and guardian of the Time Stone, an ancient object that is important to the peoples of Tanjo Nui. First appeared in Dimension Hoppers. Time Stone. An object created by the Almighty Ones (see below) to record the history of a universe. First appeared in Dimension Hoppers. Almighty Ones. The Almighty Ones were once the Great Beings of an alternate universe, but were transformed into powerful entities after exposing themselves to energized protodermis. They are very mysterious and enigmatic and are not comfortable directly talking to other beings. They created the Time Stone (see above). First appeared in Dimension Hoppers. Jetrupi. A mysterious Gadarian and agent of the Almighty Ones. First appeared in Glatorian Chronicles #8: The Stranger. Dimension-hopping. The term used to describe travel between universes. First used in Dimension Hoppers. Chapter IV: Toa Niham. Toa of the Green. Originally from the island of Shika Nui prior to Teridax's death. First appeared in Dimension Hoppers. Turaga Kicho. Turaga of Earth. Former member and deputy leader of the Toa Tanjo. First appeared in Dimension Hoppers: The Other Tale. Toa Laomos. Toa of Gravity and former member of the Toa Tanjo. First appeared in Dimension Hoppers: The Other Tale. Chapter VIII: Toa Avha. One of the first Toa teams. Help defeat the Kra-Matoran Empire 150,000 years ago and helped in the rebuilding of society that took place afterward. Nearly all members are either dead or retired and old now. First mentioned in Tapestry of Evil. Chapter X: Toa Chimoy. One of the two surviving members of the Toa Shika and a Toa of Iron. First appeared in The Tales of Shika Nui. Toa Nonzra. Toa of Sonics and dead member of the Toa Shika. First appeared in The Tales of Shika Nui. The Ghost King. A legendary figure said to reside on the island of World's End at the very end of the old universe. First appeared in The Ghost King's Tragedy. Chapter XVII: Toa Oggakia (also known as Oggak). The only Toa of Shadow outside of Wyoko. Was originally the Chronicler of the Kra-Matoran tribe, but betrayed her people during the Kra-Matoran War 150,000 years ago. Is in a relationship with Toa Jokao (see below). First appeared in The Recruitment of Axonn. Toa Jokao. Toa of Fire who as a Matoran led the Matoran resistance against the Dark Hunters on Shika Nui 50,000 years ago. Is currently in a relationship with Toa Oggakia. First appeared in The Tales of Shika Nui. Shika Nui. An island from the old universe, located west of Stelt. Was ruled by the Dark Hunters for 25,000 years. First appeared in The Tales of Shika Nui. Shadow travel. The ability to travel through a shadow-like dimension in order to travel long distances quickly. It is similar to teleporting, although it has a longer distance and can only be used by shadow beings or beings with a close affinity toward shadow. First used in Tapestry of Evil. Chapter XIX: New Odina. Prior to the Core War, was a fortress belonging to the Element Lord of Ice, Xocion. First appeared in Glatorian Chronicles #9: Reluctant Allies. Chapter XXIII: Toa Nasis. Toa of Iron and former leader of the Toa Tanjo. First appeared in Dimension Hoppers. Chapter XXIX: The Almighty Ones' warehouse. A large warehouse containing everything the Almighty Ones ever made. First appeared in Dimension Hoppers. Reviews, comments, criticisms, etc are all welcome . -TNTOS-
  4. (NOTE: For those who don't know what this is series of blog posts is, please check out the introduction here.) Continuing the "Looking Back" series, today I will talk about my top four favorite stories from the Shikaverse. Four may seem like an odd number (although it's actually an even number*), but that's because I wanted to talk only about the stories that I actually, genuinely enjoyed writing or thought were good, rather than picking out enough stories to fit an arbitrary number like five or ten. I just happen to have four favorite stories from the Shikaverse. Anyway, let's begin this list with: #1: Dimension Hoppers Out of all of the fanfics I posted on BZP, Dimension Hopppers is the one I am most proud of. Its experimental nature -- two first person narrators, -- was a big challenge for me and I am happy to say that it worked splendidly. In fact, it worked out so well that I haven't tried that again, for fear that I will either repeat myself or fail to do it right again (although I have not ruled out doing another story with two first person narrators in a future story entirely). Three of my favorite characters from the Shikaverse -- Isarot, Kiriah, and Darranas -- were introduced in this fic. There were a lot of cool settings in this story as well, such as the Almighty Ones' warehouse, World's End, and Ehlek's ship. It also expanded the Shikaverse significantly, giving more characters, locations, and ideas that have heavily influenced later fics (such as The Ghost King's Tragedy and the Dawn Duology, for example). #2: An Unlikely Alliance** This is one of my favorites because it's the first epic I wrote that I think was actually good. It's not nearly as good as Dimension Hoppers, to be sure, but I did enjoy writing it and it really was a big turning point for my ability as a writer. It's the epic where I first developed what I call the Three Draft Formula, a formula I still use for epics and novels to this day. Another reason I like this fic is because it serves as a good ending to the Shika Trilogy, resolving a lot of plot points from the past two epics and answering a lot of unanswered questions. It proves I can end a trilogy satisfactorily and without leaving any important questions or plot points dangling needlessly. Yeah, AUA is not my best epic, but the lessons I learned from it will be highly useful if I ever write another trilogy at some point in the future. #3: Glatorian Chronicles #9: Reluctant Allies I consider this short epic to be the best short epic I've written. The two protagonists, Ackar and Kiina, are well-developed and distinct. The plot is very focused and doesn't go off into any random tangents (except possibly for the frozen village scene, which maybe could have been cut without harming the story's plot). Xocion, the Element Lord of Ice and primary antagonist of the story, was a fun character to write for. Shame I didn't get to do much with him. I would like to write a short story or something about him, but as I am getting close to done with the Shikaverse, that seems highly unlikely unless I get an idea that I absolutely MUST write no matter what. #4: Paranoia Out of all of the Shikaverse stories, Paranoia was the only true horror story and the only horror story I've ever really written. Despite that, it received a lot of good reviews when I first posted it. I even reused its setting -- an alternate universe where Brutaka takes over the universe using the Mask of Life -- in Dimension Hoppers I enjoyed it so much. This short story cannot be found on BZP anymore, due to the deletion of the Archives. I still have it saved on an external flash drive, but I don't think I am going to repost it. As much as I liked it, there is a reason it's number four on this list and not number one. I've thought about rewriting it, though, if only because I think I could do the idea better now that I've come so far as a writer. - That's it. Next post in the series will be about the Shikaverse's themes. You know, stuff pretentious literary types like me like to talk about . *Yeah, I made a math joke. Yeah, it kind of stands out. Yeah, I probably shouldn't be drawing attention to it with this note. Yeah, I know starting every sentence with "Yeah" is getting annoying. Yeah, I'll cut it out. **Like Paranoia, An Unlikely Alliance cannot currently be found on BZP due to the deletion of the Archives. However, you will soon be able to read it once I repost it in "The Shika Trilogy Omnibus" in the Epics forum, which can be found here. -TNTOS-
  5. (NOTE: For those who don't know what these series of blog posts are, read the introduction here.) Continued from this blog post. #6: Toa Oggakia First appearance: The Recruitment of Axonn (cameo) Quote: Nailed it . . . Ive been lying and deceiving everyone, even Jokao, all this time. Almost everything I have said is a lie; every single bit of it. I have lied about my past, my connection with the Tuikas, and many, many other things that you dont even know about. And if I tell you or anyone else the t-truth . . . Everyone will hate me. B-but if I say nothing at all. . . . ("An Unlikely Alliance," Chapter 18: Truths & Falsehoods) As her quote indicates, Toa Oggakia always had trouble trusting others. This is primarily due to how she was raised. She spent a good chunk of her life on Daxia in seclusion from the rest of the world. When you factor in the Order's policy of strict secrecy, it's no wonder she never learned how to trust or open up to others. Even when she did get real friends who loved and trusted her, she still kept secrets from them. She learned to become less secretive, of course, but she still has this habit of keeping secrets from her friends even when they would benefit from knowing those secrets. In all likelihood, she will probably be this way for the rest of her life, although she can always get better While I believe she's one of the more fleshed out characters from the Shikaverse, I do wish I could have explored her guilt a bit more. It's subtle, but if you pay careful attention to her dialogue in An Unlikely Alliance, you can tell that she still feels guilty about betraying her people 100,000 years ago. Even though she was justified in betraying the Kra-Matoran tribe, Oggak still considers herself one of them and so continues to feel guilty about betraying them, although it's not as severe as it once was. Like Kiriah, I liked her so much that I decided to use her in more epics. She was a main character in The Ghost King's Tragedy and played a small role in Dawn of the New Century. She will also make an appearance in In the End, where her final fate will be revealed. #7 Toa Teivel First appearance: Tapestry of Evil Quote: "Freedom is a fickle thing. You never appreciate it when you have it, and when it is taken away from you it becomes almost an obsession to have just a taste of freedom. That is how I feel now; I, along with every other blasted inhabitant of this land, wish to be free to roam the universe once more, as I did 100,000 years ago." ("Tapestry of Evil," Chapter 1: Shodios) Out of all the characters on this list, Toa Teivel is the one I wished I could have explored the most. He was the most mysterious of the Shodios, the Shikaverse's all-Toa of Shadow Toa team, and the evilest as well. He didn't start out evil. He was originally good. I honestly would have loved to explore exactly how he went from being a generally good Toa to a cold, calculating villain who cared little for the welfare of others. I do have an idea for a prequel epic focusing on the rise and fall of the Kra-Matoran Empire, in which he surely must have played an important role, but with In the End coming, I highly doubt I will ever write it. One thing I am certain about, however, is that he, out of all of the Shodios, really wanted to be free. He despised Wyoko with every fiber of his being. He believed it was the right of the Kra-Matoran tribe to rule the Matoran universe. Wyoko is basically an external manifestation of his failure to lead his people to victory. #8: Toa Darranas First appearance: Dimension Hoppers Quote: Yes, although thief is a term I do not prefer to use. I would call myself a hero, a crusader of righteousness and light who was chosen by destiny to purge the multiverse of evil. Any sane person can see that. ("Dimension Hoppers," Chapter 16: Questions Answered, Questions Raised) Here's one of the few characters in the Shika Trilogy whom I feel justified in calling evil. Out of all the antagonists and villains in the Shikaverse, I'd say Toa Darranas was easily the most dangerous, in part because of the scope of his plans, but also because he was absolutely convinced that he was the good guy, no matter how many evil things he did. Other villains, like Makuta Hajax and Toa Teivel, were at least capable of recognizing that some of their actions were not wise or moral. Darranas, on the other hand, was so convinced of his own righteousness and perfection that he thought that anything he did was good. Unlike some of the villains on this list, I don't believe Darranas could be redeemed. Redemption is only possible when you believe you need it. Darranas did not believe that he needed to be redeemed from anything. That is also what made him so interesting. Darranas's black and white view of the world meant he did not believe anything was off limits if it brought him closer to his overall goal. Whereas Kiriah and to (to a slightly lesser extent) Isarot dealt frequently with their own self-doubt and uncertainties, Darranas never doubted his own righteousness for even a second. He was probably one of the scarier characters for me to write because I understand how alluring the certainty that a black-and-white view of the world brings, even if I wholeheartedly reject it. Darranas didn't start out this crazy, but even before he turned, he always had a tendency to view his enemies as unrepentent villains who deserved whatever they got. I think it's too easy for someone with that personality to cross the line from justice-seeker to revenging crusader. Though Darranas spoke often about punishing villains, in the end, I think he became just as bad as the people he fought, if not worse. And that is always sad. #9 Raider First appearance: An Unlikely Alliance Quotes: "I may very well have to take this island all by myself. Oh well . . . I did it once. I could so easily do it again." ("An Unlikely Alliance," Chapter 21: Target Locked) Raider was a Dark Hunter, one of the best and oldest. His personality was professional and efficient. He did not allow himself to be distracted by emotion or petty quarrels, at least while working. All he cared about doing was getting the job done, whether its putting down a possible Dark Hunter rebellion or investigating the theft of an object that the Shadowed One had his eyes on. His personality, I believe, led him to become a sniper. While he can hold his own in a fight, he is absolutely deadly with a sniper. Looking back, I probably should have named him Sniper or something. I tried to justify his codename in An Unlikely Alliance, but the explanation always seemed a little too incredulous to me (he raided whole islands by himself? Really?). I guess Raider is a pretty cool name, though. What I like best about Raider, however, is the role he played in An Unlikely Alliance. To me, he was that kind of character whose mere appearance is enough to jack up the tension in a scene. He didn't succeed in killing any of the protagonists, but every time he appeared I was never sure who he would kill (or try to kill, at least) next. Unpredictable characters like Raider are awesome to read and write about. I can confirm that he will appear in In the End. I felt like I needed to bring him back one last time before the Shikaverse's end, considering that several of my other favorite characters have all appeared in the Dawn Duology so far. #10 Kafor First appearance: Dimension Hoppers: The Other Tale Quote: Do you wonder why I live here? Its because the Dark Hunters never come around here. I am safe as long as I keep quiet." ("Dimension Hoppers: The Other Tale," Chapter Four) Kafor is an interesting example of a character. While writing Dimension Hoppers, I knew she was going to play a large role in Dawn of the New Century. So I introduced her early on in Dimension Hoppers: The Other Tale, primarily to foreshadow Dawn with her future-seeing ability. She is definitely one of the more cowardly characters I've written, although she would probably describe herself as shrewd. Due to the fact that the Dark Hunters have been on her tail for many years, she has a hard time trusting anyone except her sole friend, a bartender named Barc. Looking back, I wish I could have figured out exactly how the two of them became such good friends in the first place. Maybe I will figure it out in In the End, though that seems unlikely to me. Due to living most of her life on the run, Kafor has always had a difficult time thinking longterm. She thinks as far ahead as is necessary to protect her life from the Dark Hunters. This is one aspect of her personality that I tried to explore in Dawn and will hopefully bring to a satisfying conclusion in In the End. In the Dawn Duology, she now faces the possibility of a Dark Hunter-free future, the implications of which she is just starting to grasp. I like writing her dialogue. She's extremely sarcastic, which annoys pretty much everyone else. Even better, she doesn't see a reason to apologize for her sarcasm, either. When most of the people around you are stupid or hate you, why should you treat them considerately? Of course I cannot say what her final fate will be. You'll have to read In the End to find out that. I have a couple of announcements about the Shikaverse I'd like to make. First, I just finished the third draft of In the End. All that I need to do now is go through and do the usual three rounds of editing that I do with every epic. I still cannot give a release date any more specific than early/mid 2014, though. Second, because some readers have requested it and because it is currently no longer available on BZP, I will be reposting the entire Shika Trilogy right here on the BZP forums. Instead of doing three separate topics for each epic, however, I will be posting the entire trilogy in one topic, which will be called "The Shika Trilogy Omnibus." Expect to see the omnibus in the Epics forum on Wednesday, January 1st, 2014. See y'all later, -TNTOS-
  6. (NOTE: For those who don't know what this is, you can read the introduction here.) To kick off this series of Looking Back posts, I will start off with my top ten favorite characters from the Shikaverse. Due to the length of this post, it will be split into two parts, with the first five characters in this post and the last five in another. Also, there be spoilers ahead. If you don't want my stories spoiled, then I suggest not reading this, at least until you've read my works. I chose to start with characters because the Shikaverse was written without any outlining or extensive planning. Therefore, it was crucial I had strong characters capable of carrying the stories they starred in from beginning to end. They range in variety from heroic Toa to evil Makuta and everything in between. I hope that by the end of this two-part post that you, my readers, will understand why I like the characters on this list so much. With that out of the way, let's start the list with: #1: Toa Barilo First appearance: The Tales of Shika Nui Quotes: "You know, Nastan, you and Nonzra always used to argue, but it was friendly arguments. I, however, think you're holding the team down with your morals, so I figure I ought to get rid of you now." ("The Tales of Shika Nui," Chapter 11: Not A Hero Anymore) "Okay, Nastan, I admit, I did try to kill you under my own free will. I didnt do it just because I was going insane (though for the record I was slightly out of my mind at the time). I did it because I was angry, I had the power, and I was willing to do it, too. But now. I have seen my mistake and I ask you for your forgiveness. Please, Nastan, find it somewhere in your heart to forgive your fellow Toa for wronging you. Please." ("Tapestry of Evil," Chapter 20: Wanderer's Mission) "This is the only way to stop him. I have realized this. I dont care if I die in the process; so long as you take him out, Im fine. Just hit me with everything you got now and no holding back!" ("An Unlikely Alliance," Chapter 29: A Hero's Sacrifice) Out of all the characters I wrote in the Shika Trilogy, Toa Barilo, Toa of Gravity and deputy leader of the Toa Shika, probably got the most character development out of them all. Over the span of the trilogy, he went from being a self-centered thief to redemption-seeker to unashamed hero, which can be observed in the three quotes I chose above. What makes Barilo a remarkable character, in my opinion, is that his development was not planned at all. When I first stared the Shika Trilogy, I had no idea Barilo would become so central to the story. In my opinion, I believe his character developed the way it did because of his interactions with another character from the Shika Trilogy: Toa Nastan (who is not on this list). Nastan was your typical do-gooder Toa who often held the rest of the team to high standards, which initially annoyed Barilo. They got along so badly that Barilo even tried to kill Nastan at one point. Though the two were ultimately reconciled after that, that act haunted Barilo afterward and was probably what caused him to begin his journey from selfish thief to humble hero. In the end, I consider Barilo to be the true hero of the Shika Trilogy. While there were certainly other heroic characters in the trilogy, it was Barilo who ultimately saved the day in the end, despite his rough beginnings as a selfish thief who cared for no one other than himself and his small group of friends. #2: Makuta Hajax First appearance: The Tales of Shika Nui Quote: "One day, I would like to visit Destral and give my brothers a surprise welcome . . . after I have gotten an army big enough to crush that island into little more than fine powder, of course." ("An Unlikely Alliance," Chapter 18: Truths & Falsehoods) Makuta Hajax, Makuta of Shika Nui, was an interesting character. He was a Makuta who hated other Makuta. Technically, he only hated Teridax, who he saw as desecrating the name of the Brotherhood of Makuta, but his feelings toward his brothers and sisters who served Teridax were negative all around. Like Barilo, Hajax got his share of character development. Originally, he wanted to overthrow Teridax and turn the Brotherhood back into a force for good. His methods were often questionable, but at heart he did have good intentions. So you could plausibly consider him a hero of sorts. Unlike Barilo, however, Hajax became worse as time went on. He eventually came to the conclusion that he not only needed to take over the Brotherhood, but that he had to rule the universe itself, too. His reasoning was that Mata Nui was in no shape to rule anymore and that he probably wasn't all that good of a ruler anyway if he had been defeated so easily by Teridax. In order to accomplish this goal, he often manipulated the Toa Shika. In particular, he focused on Barilo, whose vices made him more susceptible to Hajax's machinations than the others were. He was so successful at playing with Barilo that he even ended up possessing the Toa's body, a move that advanced Hajax's plans more than anything else. Due to the scope of his plans and his close relationship with Barilo, I would call Hajax the true villain of the Shika Trilogy. In some ways, he was a tragic villain. He started out with noble intentions, but they eventually led him to becoming the very thing he had fought against (like another character on this list, in fact). #3: Toa Kiriah First appearance: Dimension Hoppers Quote: "Oh, I forgot about that. Um, sorry." ("Dimension Hoppers," Chapter 13: The Expedition Begins) Kiriah is awkward, overly apologetic, forgetful, and quite clumsy. Because of that, she is one of my favorite characters to write for, though she only makes number three on this list. I loved writing for her in Dimension Hoppers so much that she went on to play a major role in The Ghost King's Tragedy and, more recently, Dawn of the New Century. She will also appear in In the End, as you may have guessed. She had an interesting history as a character. She wasn't even in the first draft of Dimension Hoppers. I only added her in the second draft because Greg confirmed Psionics as a Toa element and I thought it would be cool to have a Toa of Psionics character in one of my fanfics. In addition, Isarot was boring by himself, so I thought throwing in a second protagonist would spice things up, which was a good move on my part, if I may say so. One reason I like her so much is because she is partly based off myself. In particular, I gave her my absentmindedness. She is the only character in the Shikaverse who comes closest to being my self-insert, though she's different enough from me that I think most people who read about her wouldn't guess that I had based her off myself unless I told them. I cannot yet give a final verdict on her character as a whole, however, because I have not yet finished In the End. I hope to give her a good ending, though, whatever it might ultimately be. #4: Isarot First appearance: Dimension Hoppers Quote: "We promised to protect the Time Stone with our lives, even if it was stolen by some dimension-hopping thief. Even if our sanity was in danger of being destroyed, we would have no excuse for letting some thief get away with it without even trying to retrieve it." ("Dimension Hoppers," Chapter 1: A Decision is Made) If you asked me which of the Three Virtues best describes Isarot, without hesitation I would at the second virtue: Duty. Isarot was consumed by duty. Duty to the Time Stone, duty to his people, duty to his Baiji (elder, for those of you who don't speak Tagiki), and duty to his best friend. As a result, he was probably one of the best guardians of the Time Stone ever, considering how seriously he took his guardianship. Yet I'd hardly call Isarot a mindless protector. He had a strong sense of right and wrong and utterly despised dishonest people. He would always try to keep other people around him honest. His honesty would even compel him to call out his superiors when he thought they were lying, something he might never do under other circumstances. Although Isarot was a loyal and honest friend, he was by no means perfect. He could be highly judgmental and unforgiving towards people he didn't like or trust. His desire to put the safety of the Time Stone above all else meant that the only real friend he had was Kiriah. (It is interesting to note that, despite their wildly differing personalities and tastes, both Isarot and Kiriah generally felt out of place among members of their respective species.) He was not always patient with dumb or slow-witted people, either. In general, I think Isarot is one of those people who, in real life, you would either love or hate. He was not particularly cuddly and lovable, but he was extremely loyal to those who he considered friends. He never cared about universal popularity. He only cared about doing what he thought was right. #5: Masqouth First appearance: Dawn of the New Century Quote: "I just cant believe it. The Kra-Matoran are free and people will die and I will be just like my parents. It's amazing." ("Dawn of the New Century," Chapter XXVIII) Masqouth is a fun character to write, probably because he's different from other antagonists I've written. Other antagonists, like Hajax and Darranas, were cold, calculating, cruel, and cynical. They may have had some redeeming virtues, but in the end they lived their lives causing more harm than good and so are easy to hate. Masqouth, on the other hand, is warm, spontaneous, fun, and idealistic. He is rather childish and naïve and rarely feels hatred for his enemies. Unlike other antagonists, Masqouth is hard to hate, which is what I think makes him an interesting character. His biggest flaw is probably his naivety. He easily trusts other people to the point where they can manipulate him, often without him ever being the wiser. He often jumps to conclusions and acts hastily, much like a child. His understanding of good and evil is extremely simplistic. He honestly does not see anything wrong with manipulating tensions between species to start a world war (although that does not excuse what he did). Like Kiriah, his final fate will be revealed in In the End. Out of all the characters in the Dawn Duology, his is the character arc I most wish to give closure to. The next part will probably come before the end of the year (EDIT: Read Part 2 here!). I will also make a special announcement about the Shikeverse in that post, so keep an eye on this blog for that, too. -TNTOS-
  7. As most of my readers know, I am in the process of writing a sequel to my most recent epic, Dawn of the New Century. It is currently titled In the End and will be released early or mid 2014. It will also be my final epic in the Shikaverse and my final epic on BZP in general. For those of you who don't know, the Shikaverse is my Bionicle fanfiction universe. Nearly every epic and short story I have written and posted on BZP is set in the Shikaverse, starting from my earliest works all the way to my newest. I've been writing in the Shikaverse for a little over five years, I believe, which is a pretty long time when you think about it. Only my comedies do not take place within the Shikaverse, although I did write a comedy parodying one of my Shikaverse works once. The name "Shikaverse" comes from the name of the very first story set in that universe, my first epic called The Tales of Shika Nui (which you can't read on BZP anymore due to the deletion of the Archives). The island of Shika Nui is a defining feature of the Shikaverse, even though it does not appear in every story. As a result, I can think of no other name more appropriate for that universe than the Shikaverse. When I started writing The Tales of Shika Nui, I had no idea that it would grow into this sprawling, complicated, and (I'll be honest) sometimes contradictory universe. I have had no other collaborators to help me keep the facts straight or write my stories. Aside from showing a few of my works to friends and family for feedback before posting, the entire Shikaverse has been written, edited, and posted by me. So I take full responsibility for every word I have written: the good, the bad, and the just plain strange. And I honestly would not have it any other way. As much as I love the Shikaverse, I've known for some time now that I can't write in it forever. In order to pursue my dream of being a professional writer, I have to stop writing fanfiction. While I am currently juggling fanfiction and original fiction, I know that only one will get me published, only one will make me money, only one will help me build my platform, and only one will help me grow in ways that the other cannot. And that one is original fiction. Because I knew this, I am determined to end the Shikaverse on my own terms. I will not simply abandon it to rot in the darkest corners of BZP. I love it too much to simply abandon it. I have to give it a good ending. More than anything else, I need a sense of closure, which I cannot get if I do not write and finish the Dawn Duology. I planned Dawn specifically with this in mind. I had hoped for Dawn itself to be the Shikaverse's ending, but the story ended up being too big for a single epic, so I have made it into a duology. I was aware that could happen, as I tend to write organically, but it does make ending the thing a bit more complicated than I had thought it would be. I am convinced it won't become a trilogy, however, so don't worry about that . I have no idea if anyone else really cares about the Shikaverse. My works have never been very popular. I have certainly built a reputation here (I think?), but I don't consider myself one of the big time BZP writers like, say, GaliGee, for example. As I said above, I am writing this to give myself a sense of closure more than anything. If there are any readers who have been following my works from the beginning, then they, too, shall receive closure. Over the next few months, leading up to In the End's release, I will be talking more about the Shikaverse. I will be talking about favorite characters, favorite stories, favorite moments, and lessons I have learned from the Shikaverse. It won't be all sunshine and rainbows, though. I will probably also talk about my least favorite moments, stories I wish I could have rewritten, characters I felt I should have developed more, and even stories I regret writing at all (all writers have works they regret writing and I am no different). Consider this post an introduction to a series of posts about the Shikaverse. There will be no regular schedule. I will try to get it all posted before the release of In the End, but there is no guarantee for that. I have no planned number of posts to put up, although if I had to guess I'd say it will consist of seven or eight. But again, no guarantees. I doubt this will appeal to many people and I don't expect a lot of people to follow this little series of blog posts. Certainly I would be happy if people read and commented on this series, but ultimately I am writing this for my own benefit and enjoyment. If anyone else enjoys it, well, that's a bonus. Posts in the "Looking Back" series: Looking Back: Top 10 Favorite Characters from the Shikaverse, Part 1 Looking Back Top 10 Favorite Characters from the Shikaverse, Part 2 Looking Back: Top Four Favorite Stories from the Shikaverse That's all for now, so see ya, -TNTOS-
  8. Table of Contents: Chapter I Chapter II Chapter III Chapter IV Chapter V Chapter VI Chapter VII Chapter VIII Chapter IX Chapter X Chapter XI Chapter XII Chapter XIII Chapter XIV Chapter XV Chapter XVI Chapter XVII Chapter XVIII Chapter XIX Chapter XX Chapter XXI Chapter XXII Chapter XXIII Chapter XXIV Chapter XXV Chapter XXVI Chapter XXVII Chapter XXVIII Chapter XXIX Chapter I A tall figure in white, billowing robes walked onto the stage. To Kafor, he looked like a savior, walking slowly and deliberately with his hands together, as if in prayer to the Great Beings. The spotlights fixed on him, their light reflecting off his spotless robes, enhanced his savior-like mystique even from Kafor’s current location, a small, obscure bar in the slums of New Atero. When the figure reached the end of the stage, thousands of Skakdi -- all of whom had gathered in the Great Spirit Stadium to listen to him -- cheered and screamed his name. Kafor was quite glad she was watching this event on the telescreen in the quiet, nearly-empty bar called the Tarakava’s Fist, for she doubted she would have been able to tolerate such loudness and merriment if she were actually there in person. The figure raised his hands high, as if reaching for the sun, with a benevolent smile on his face that reminded Kafor of others before him, beings that had inspired hope in the oppressed Skakdi with their warmth and idealism. Such beings had, in the past, attempted to lead the Skakdi to a greater future, but they never got very far due in large part to the might of New Atero, so Kafor rarely paid them much attention. The camera’s focus shifted, now showing a Le-Matoran news reporter standing just outside the crowd. He was speaking loudly, attempting to be heard over the boisterous shouting and chanting of the throng. “I’m Gosfa from Channel Nine News and I’m reporting here live from the Great Spirit Stadium in Zisar, New Zakaz,” said Gosfa, speaking directly to the camera. “The controversial speaker, Masqouth, is about to deliver his first speech to the Skakdi people in Zisar. We’re providing the entire speech commercial free thanks to our sponsors, Ignika Industries, ‘making your life better every day.’” Gosfa tried looking over the Skakdi, but as he was a rather short Matoran, that proved impossible. So he said, “Well, I’m not going to be able to see it, I guess, but that’s what we brought multiple cameras for. I think he’s about to start.” The reporter was right. The Skakdi had ceased their chanting and cheering and were now watching Masqouth, who looked over them all with a kind, almost parental gaze. “People of New Zakaz,” said Masqouth, spreading his arms, “thank you for allowing me to sojourn in your grand city. Though I’ve been here for two days only, yet I’ve been shown such kindness and respect that I don’t know how I will ever be able to repay it. I am honestly surprised, for before I came here I was warned of the viciousness and cruelty of the Skakdi. It appears that I was misled, but whether intentionally or unintentionally, I cannot say.” Of course he couldn’t. Not on a live broadcast. It was common knowledge that the New Atero government did not like Masqouth. His last speech in New Roxtus had ended with Skrall Imperialists causing a massive citywide riot that ended only after the Nuva Guard came in and killed or arrested those that had started it. There were probably Nuva Guards in the stadium right now. The cameras simply did not show them. “Yes,” said Masqouth, lowering his hands, “the Skakdi people have always been on the receiving end of destiny. Back in the beginning, many, many thousands of eons ago, you people were once prosperous and powerful, at peace with your neighbors, who respected your might and never said one false or untrue word about you. You were among the most technologically advanced people in the old universe, even in some cases surpassing Metru Nui and Xia in terms of tech level. That is why that time is known as the Golden Age of Zakaz, for they say that during that era, riches were plenty and no one lacked anything. Even the poorest Skakdi still had many of the luxuries and necessities their brethren had. It was truly a beautiful time.” The crowd cheered at this. Kafor sipped from her drink and continued watching. “But then all that changed one day,” said Masqouth, his hands balled into fists. “A Makuta named Spiriah arrived on the shores of your island. He promised to make the Skakdi into a better and stronger species, one that didn’t have to rely on the whims of their neighbors for necessary exports. He promised that the Brotherhood of Makuta -- that hated, wicked organization that is now the very symbol of evil -- would stand behind a Skakdi Empire, ruled by the elders of Zakaz.” At the mention of Spiriah, all of the Skakdi began booing and hissing. Kafor felt much the same way. In her opinion, Spiriah was even worse than Irnakk, for at least Irnakk was honest about wanting to kill everyone. “Yet you all know what Spiriah’s promises turned out to be,” said Masqouth, gesturing at the crowd. “They turned out to be lies. The Brotherhood didn’t want to help the Skakdi become a force to be reckoned with in the old universe. They wanted an invincible army of soldiers for their own wicked ends, but they didn’t even get that. When Spiriah gave your ancestors this power, they got into arguments about who would rule the Skakdi Empire. These arguments might have remained simple arguments had a Skakdi named Reidak not destroyed an entire city of his enemies, triggering an island-wide civil war that raged until the end of the old universe.” Again, more booing and hissing, this time directed at Reidak. Kafor had never known Reidak personally, although from what she knew of him, his demolishing a city was not at all unexpected. Masqouth raised his hands again and the booing and hissing ceased. Then he continued, saying, “After that, the most significant event in Skakdi history was when six Skakdi, ex-Dark Hunters who branded themselves Piraka, went to the island of Voya Nui in search of the fabled Mask of Life, which they believed would give them the power to help their people rise from the never-ending war that had engulfed Zakaz. “Yet they were opposed, first by the Toa Nuva, whom they defeated, and later by the Toa Inika, whom they failed to defeat. Despite the Pirakas’ noble intentions, Mata Nui sided with the Toa, as he always does, and the Piraka died, thus seemingly banishing all Skakdi to an eternity of warfare and strife.” This time, there were no boos and hisses, but Kafor could easily tell that the Skakdi were riled up. The mere mention of the Toa Inika was enough to enrage them. That the Skakdi were not howling in rage told her just how angry they were. “And afterward, life seemed to get even worse for the Skakdi,” said Masqouth. “Makuta Teridax took over the old universe and forced the Skakdi people to be his slaves. He ordered them to commit evil acts against the other inhabitants of the universe, such as attacking the city of Metru Nui and slaughtering anyone who dared stand against Teridax’s vile will. Not only that, but he forced them to be members of the army he sent to conquer Bara Magna. Truly, that was the Skakdi people’s darkest hour. “But, seemingly out of nowhere, hope came in the form of a golden-skinned being, who history now calls the Dream Maker. The Dream Maker used his fantastic powers to lead the Skakdi people out of the ruins of the old universe and to a new home on the shores of Aqua Magna. He even tamed the Toa Mahri, previously known as the Toa Inika, thus assuring the Skakdi that he could conquer any foe, no matter how powerful or legendary. Because of his benevolence, today the Dream Maker appears in Skakdi legend as the heroic counterpart to the vile Irnakk. Truly, he was a hero of heroes.” At the mention of the Dream Maker, the crowd whooped and went wild. Even Kafor cracked a small smile at the mention of the Dream Maker, a being whom she had never met personally but had heard much about. “Where do I begin describing the Dream Maker’s awe-inspiring powers, might, and wisdom?” said Masqouth, putting one hand on his chest. “Yet this hero, in spite of his strength and wisdom, was slain a few years later by the malicious Great Being known as Velika. Without the Dream Maker to guide them, the Skakdi became disorganized and so were easily subdued by the New Atero Republic that had sprung up in the death of Teridax, a republic that still rules the Skakdi to this very day.” At that, some of the Skakdi started shouting obscenities and curses; others, merely yelling incoherently, although their meaning was well understood. For once, Kafor found herself wishing she was back among her people in order to join them in cursing the Republic. “The hypocrisies of New Atero are many,” said Masqouth, spreading his arms. “Though it calls itself a republic of equality and peace, not every species is allowed to make decisions in the governing of this corrupt sword. Where are the Skakdi ambassadors? Why are the Skrall also denied any representation? If this were truly a democratic state, why are the Skakdi and Skrall alike denied the rights supposedly granted to all living beings by the Great Beings? Who orchestrated this injustice, which has existed since the very beginning of the New Atero’s domination of Spherus Magna?” Behind Masqouth, a giant screen suddenly flickered on. A gigantic image of the Mask of Life stood behind Masqouth. It was the symbol found on the New Atero flag, but Kafor knew Masqouth had a deeper point to make here other than pointing out the obvious. “The Great Spirit Mata Nui,” said Masqouth, gesturing at the image behind him. “It was he who led the Gadarians and Agori to crush the Skrall, a people that had done nothing wrong except wishing to survive. It was he who, after slaying Teridax, gave the Toa and Gadarians and others permission to subdue those who had served Teridax, a euphemism for the Skrall and Skakdi. His apathy or perhaps misanthropy toward the Skakdi can be seen in that he did not bother to undue the injustices the Brotherhood of Makuta had performed on the Skakdi, even though Mata Nui had spent his whole life fighting the Brotherhood’s leader. And then he disappeared without a trace, allowing others to fix the mistakes he’d made instead of doing it himself!” Now the crowd was really riled up. One Skakdi even shouted, “To Karzahni with Mata Nui!” while another shouted, “Down with New Atero! Down with New Atero!” Kafor expected the crowd to break out into a riot at any moment, which would give the Nuva Guards an excuse to move in and start arresting people. “Yes!” said Masqouth, raising his hands high, as if trying to touch the sky. “Do not praise such a tyrant, such a coward, who has never helped the Skakdi. In his eyes, you are nothing . . . and in the eyes of his followers, you are even less than that. “But I say to you, people of Zisar -- no, people of the world -- that though we are slain, we will not stand for this. The poet Zarsk once said that, though the Skakdi may be beaten down by destiny time and again, a force that is beyond destiny awaits us. A new century for the Skakdi, Zarsk said, would dawn, which would overthrow the chains of destiny and lead the Skakdi people to a newer, better, and much brighter future! And, my friends, I dare say that this new century is upon us!” The crowd was in something like a frenzy now, although the cameras were focused squarely on Masqouth. That didn’t stop the crowd from chanting “The new century! The new century! The new century” over and over again, chanting it with such passion that even Kafor, cynical as she was, started to feel a little hopeful. “It is wonderful to see such strength and bravery in the face of adversity,” said Masqouth, putting both hands over his heart. “It warms my heart to see that the Skakdi people still hope for a better future, for them and their descendents. Truly, the new century burns in us all, demanding to become a reality rather than remain a prophecy. To the new century!” “To the new century!” the crowd roared. The crowd cheered and chanted for several more minutes before Masqouth -- who had watched them with the loving gaze of a parent -- clapped his hands, creating a loud noise that drowned out even the crowd’s chanting. When it passed, everything was silent, for the Skakdi were eager to listen to Masqouth’s words. “Now,” said Masqouth, again spreading his hands, “bring to me your sick and your wounded. Allow me to heal them with my gentle touch so they may enter the new century whole and healthy. I am but the humble servant of the weak and the downtrodden. Remember to come one at a time so I may give a word of hope to each sick person who needs it.” Surprisingly, the crowd, despite their uncontrollable excitement, began organizing themselves into lines that went from the stadium entrance to the stage where Masqouth stood. The first Skakdi up was a blue one who walked with a bad limp; in fact, had it not been for her friends, the Skakdi might never have gotten up there at all. Masqouth placed his hands on her shoulders and, one bright flash of light later, the blue Skakdi walked away good as new. The sight of the healed limper made the crowd buzz with excitement, but they kept their spots in the line and slowly began making their way up to the stage. Then the telescreen changed, showing two Agori newscasters discussing Masqouth’s speech. Kafor lost interest in their discussion and looked at the bartender, a Roffican named Barc. His eyes were still focused on the telescreen hanging in the corner, absentmindedly wiping his hands with a dirty rag. “That Masqouth guy sure does know how to get an audience all riled up,” said Barc. “What do you think, Kafor?” Kafor shook her head. “I don’t know. He speaks good words, but there’ve been other guys like him before, promising the Skakdi hope and change. They usually get crushed by New Atero and then everyone goes back to their normal lives before some other moron starts the cycle again.” “I dunno,” said Barc, looking down at her. “He really seems like something special. Came out of nowhere, can heal people, talks about the new century for the Skakdi and all that . . . maybe he’s gonna be different.” “Doesn’t matter to me one way or the other,” said Kafor as she sipped from her drink. “Even if he somehow succeeds in liberating the Skakdi, that’s not going to help me one bit, not unless the Shadowed One magically decides to forgive me, anyway.” “True,” said Barc with a shrug. “Aren’t you happy for your people, though? I mean, he kind of reminds me of the great Roffican philosopher, Tinak. You know, the guy who won better working conditions for Rofficans a couple hundred years back? That’s who Masqouth reminds me of.” Kafor glanced at the telescreen again. The voices of the two Agori newscasters could still be heard off-screen, but the cameras were on Masqouth again, filming him from a couple of different angles as he repeated his hands-on miracles. “He looks familiar to me for some reason,” said Kafor, running one finger around the rim of her cup. “I thought that when I first saw him on the telescreen when he spoke to the Skrall and I still think that right now.” “Maybe he just reminds you of someone you knew,” said Barc. “Have you ever known a miracle-worker wearing white robes before?” Kafor chuckled. “No, I haven’t. Then again . . . I may have seen him in a vision.” “A vision?” said Barc, scratching his chin. “A recent one?” Kafor frowned. “No, not a recent one. It was a long, long time ago, before everyone left the old universe. I think I remember seeing him in it.” “What was he doing in the vision?” said Barc as he slapped the dirty rag onto the counter. “Talking about the new century?” Kafor shook her head. “No. Actually . . . I was fighting him. Me and someone else, but I’m not sure why we were doing it or who my partner in the battle was.” Barc scratched the back of his head and threw a quick glance at the telescreen, which still showed Masqouth. “Fighting him? Uh, your dreams are supposed to be symbolic, right?” “Sometimes they are,” said Kafor, propping her chin in both hands. “Other times, they’re not. Take my vision of the Great Cataclysm, for instance. I had a vision of a giant earthquake shaking the old universe, and that is exactly what happened.” “But why would you fight Masqouth?” said Barc. “He doesn’t seem like a bad guy to me. A little idealistic, maybe naïve, sure, but bad? Can’t see it.” “Frankly, I’m not sure, either,” said Kafor. “My visions are never clear. All I can do is wait until the day it happens, whenever that will be.” “’Time marches on and it’s all we can do to keep up with it,’” Barc quoted. “Right?” Kafor looked at him in disbelief. “I didn’t know you read Zarsk. In fact, I didn’t know you read at all.” “I try to get a little in here and there,” said Barc, shrugging his wide shoulders. “Have had a lot of free time recently, since things have been so quiet around here.” “I see,” said Kafor. “Well, I-“ Her words were interrupted by the sound of the door opening and closing. Glancing over her shoulder, Kafor saw a hooded Skrall enter. He walked straight up to the counter and sat on one of the stools, placing one hand on the counter, while the other was on the hilt of his sword. Barc -- who hadn’t had a single customer all day, save for Kafor -- eagerly drew himself up in front of the Skrall and said, “What can I get you?” The Skrall didn’t make eye contact with Barc, keeping his eyes focused on the wooden counter that he sat at. He merely said, “Strong arang juice and a bowl of Thornax stew.” “Arang juice and Thornax stew,” repeated Barc. “Got it.” “Just hurry up,” said the Skrall. “I have places to be. Important places.” “Of course, of course,” said Barc. “Be a minute.” Barc went into the kitchen area behind the bar, leaving Kafor alone with the Skrall, who didn’t even seem to notice Kafor’s presence. He had unsheathed a dagger and was lightly running the tip back and forth across the counter. Kafor didn’t tell him to stop; after all, Barc’s counter had seen much worse in its time, including the memorable occasion when a particularly angry Vortixx mercenary stabbed his sword into it in an attempt to skewer Barc’s hand. A little knife wouldn’t hurt it. Returning her attention to the telescreen, Kafor saw that the news was replaying footage from Masqouth’s speech in New Roxtus. The newscasters were comparing Masqouth’s speech in Zisar with his speech in New Roxtus, noting similarities and differences between the two speeches. “He’s a fraud,” said the Skrall behind her. “Don’t even see why people bother with him.” Kafor looked back at the hooded Skrall, who was also watching the telescreen. His hood obscured his expression, but his balled fists told Kafor the whole story. “You aren’t Masqouth’s biggest fan, I take it?” said Kafor. “No,” said the Skrall, shaking his head. “He will just go down the same road as the last revolutionary leaders. I don’t see why my people are getting their hopes up.” “I agree,” said Kafor. “One of these days, he’s going to end up dead and New Atero is going to pretend it was an accident. Rather silly how one being can get everyone so hyped up for nothing, isn’t it?” The Skrall nodded curtly, but said nothing in reply. He just returned his attention to the dagger, which he was still running across the counter. As Kafor was getting bored sitting there in silence, she looked at the Skrall’s sheathed sword and said, “That’s strange. I thought it was illegal for citizens to carry weapons in New Atero.” “I’m not from around here,” said the Skrall, still without looking at her. “Even if I was, screw New Atero. They’re not worth listening to.” “I guess you’re afraid of being jumped by Matoran or something?” said Kafor. “I admit, they can be rather vicious little beasts when they want to, but it’s really the Toa-“ “I know who I have to look out for, Skakdi,” said the Skrall. “I’ve been doing this a long time. Don’t treat me like an imbecile, unless you’re willing to back that up with a fight.” “Hey,” said Kafor, annoyed. “I was just jok-“ Again, Kafor was interrupted by the door opening and closing. Wondering who it was now, Kafor looked over her shoulder and saw a Toa of Air had entered. Kafor’s eyes widened because she recognized the Toa and had also not been prepared for the Toa’s beauty. It was Toa Litho, the most famous non-Dark Hunter bounty hunter in the world. There was no mistaking that emerald and silver armor, nor the air-blaster gun she carried in her holster. Having seen Litho's picture all over the news recently, Kafor had no trouble recognizing her at all. The Skrall had also looked to see who it was, but had just as quickly looked back at the counter. He ran his knife up and down the counter-top even faster now, although why, Kafor didn’t know. Something about Litho seemed to make the Skrall nervous. Maybe he had a large bounty, although that seemed unlikely, for Kafor could think of only one Skrall with that kind of bounty on his head and he would have to be a complete moron to be anywhere near this bar. The Toa of Air took a seat at the counter in between Kafor and the Skrall. She didn’t look at either of them. Instead, she waited until Barc emerged from the kitchen carrying a bowl of Thornax stew, which smelled horrible to Kafor. She wondered how the Skrall could eat such filth. For that matter, she wondered why it was one of Barc’s specialties. As soon as the Skrall got his meal, he began eating it quickly and noisily, like he had no table manners whatsoever. Kafor was glad she wasn’t sitting next to him otherwise she would have been covered in stew, although Litho didn’t seem to notice the bits and pieces of stew that were occasionally flung onto her armor. Then Barc noticed Litho and said, “My, my. Looks like we’ve got a little celebrity here today. What may I do you for?” “Oh, nothing, really,” said Litho. “I came by to see if there were any criminals in here who needed to be brought to justice. That’s all.” “Well,” said Barc, folding his arms, “you’re out of luck. There ain’t no bounties worth getting around here. My humble little bar isn’t big enough to attract that kind of folk.” Litho smiled and leaned forward on the counter. “Then who is this guy?” She gestured at the Skrall with her head, causing the Skrall -- who had by now eaten half of his stew – to freeze, holding his empty spoon in midair, as though he’d been caught in some kind of crime. “This guy?” said Barc, glancing at the Skrall. “He’s just a Skrall. Why should I know him?” “Just a Skrall, hmm?” said Litho. “I wonder why he’s wearing a hood, then.” Before Kafor could ask where Litho was going with this, the Skrall threw the half-empty bowl of stew into her face. The surprise attack sent Litho falling backwards into Kafor, sending Toa and Skakdi falling to the floor in a tangle of confused limbs. Kafor just managed to see the Skrall jump from his seat and race to the door, while Barc looked on, completely dumbfounded. “Get off of me,” Litho snapped, pushing Kafor off her. “I’ve got to catch that Skrall.” Litho rose to her feet and stared at the door, which the Skrall had by now almost reached. Her mask flared briefly and a thick stone wall appeared in front of the door, causing the Skrall to skid to a halt just a few feet from the now-blocked exit. “How’d you do that?” said Kafor, looking up at Litho in surprise. Litho gestured at her mask without looking at Kafor. “Mask of Stone. It’s amazing, I know.” Kafor rolled her eyes, which Litho didn’t appear to notice. She aimed her air-blaster at the Skrall, who had now turned around to face the bounty hunter. He unsheathed his sword and brought out his buzz-saw shield as he took a battle stance. “Now, now, Night,” said Litho in a mocking voice. “Be a nice boy and let me take you to justice.” “No,” said the Skrall through gritted teeth. “I don’t play nice and I don’t let airhead bounty hunters arrest me.” Kafor blinked. “Night? I’ve heard that name before. But where . . .” “I’ll tell you who he is,” said Litho. “He’s one of the most infamous Dark Hunters around. He’s committed enough crimes to earn a ten thousand widget bounty on his head. So I’m going to take him down and get that bounty.” “You may try,” said Night. “But I doubt you’ll succeed.” Litho laughed. “I’ve never failed to bring in a bounty before. What makes you think that you are going to be the exception?” “Because I’m not like previous bounties, Litho,” said Night as he dashed at her. “Because I don’t grant mercy to my enemies.” Review Topic
  9. Today I posted the tenth and final chapter of The Ghost King's Tragedy. So that means this whole mess is finally over ( ). Due to the spoilerific nature of the last chapter, I will not be quoting an excerpt from it. You may read the entirety of Chapter Ten here. Next week on this blog I will post a What Could Have Been entry. Like with past WCHB entries, I will discuss old or scrapped ideas that didn't make it to the final draft. I will also explain a few things that were not explained in the epic itself (basically trivia, for those interested). So it's finally over. See y'all later, -TNTOS-
  10. Table of Contents: Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Chapter Ten Chapter One Sitting on his throne, the Ghost King of World’s End looked down on his kneeling Ghosts. Not a single Ghost spoke or moved. The years of living under the Ghost King’s strict rule had quite disciplined the Ghosts. They moved or spoke only when the Ghost King ordered them to, not before. And anyone who did speak out of turn . . . well, the Ghost King had specific punishments in store for those who did not respect his authority. The Ghosts all wore identical pale white armor, which shone dimly in the light of the bluish torches mounted on the walls. They had long monkey-like tails wrapped around their waists, short, sharp claws, and little tri-crowns of horns on their heads. Their appearance reminded the Ghost King of his own appearance. He, too, was pale white, but even paler than they. Like the Ghosts, he had three horns on his head, but his were longer and sharper than theirs. He was far taller and bulkier than they, too, and his eyes were green as opposed to yellow. The Ghost King raised his sword and said, “All stand.” The Ghosts rose as one. Each Ghost slammed their fists together in the traditional salute, which created a loud echo in the stone chamber that quickly faded at a gesture from the Ghost King. “Now, my Ghosts,” said the Ghost King, looking over them all dispassionately. “For years, our island of World’s End has been ignored by the outside world. Our island has remained nothing more than a legend to outsiders, which is why we have been at peace for so many years.” None of the Ghosts said anything, but the Ghost King, through his telepathy, heard thoughts such as And that has nothing to do with us from one disgruntled Ghost, a sentiment that was shared by the others. That was good. The Ghost King despised arrogance, for it often led to rebellion. By making it clear they were not responsible for this peace, the Ghosts could not become prideful, or so the Ghost King believed. “Now my Ghosts,” the Ghost King continued, “through my supernatural intuition and link to the spirits, I have discovered that four invaders have arrived on this island. What’s more, they were sent by my mortal enemy to kill me.” Again, the Ghosts’ discipline kept them from reacting. The Ghost King went over their minds again and heard thoughts such as Impossible! from one Ghost and What could this mean? from another, although their bodies betrayed no reactions to the news. “Allow me to repeat that,” the Ghost King said. He held up his left hand and began counting off his fingers. “Not one, nor two, nay, not just three, but four invaders, sent here to kill me. My enemy is too cowardly to show his face to me, but it is no coincidence that these invaders appear on my island at the same time that my enemy’s power has risen to unforeseen heights.” The Ghost King again scanned their thoughts and heard one Ghost thinking What can we do against the Ghost King's enemy?, words which described the others' feelings quite well. Nor did the Ghost King see fit to comfort them. Fear was the primary tool with which he controlled the Ghosts. He made sure they were always afraid, so they would never think of overthrowing him. “Tira, Balon, Virof,” said the Ghost King, beckoning toward the three Ghosts standing at the front. “Come here.” The three Ghost Lieutenants walked up to the Ghost King’s throne. They stopped at the step just below the Ghost King’s feet and kneeled. The Ghost King looked at his Lieutenants. Tira was thin and had a long scar running down her right cheek. Balon was muscular and had a knife strapped to his chest. Virof was taller than the last two, with longer claws than the others’. Though perhaps not all three Lieutenants were equal in their loyalty to him, the Ghost King did not doubt that they would do whatever he ordered them to do. “I give you orders to lead the Ghosts to eliminate these invaders,” the Ghost King said, tapping each Lieutenant on the shoulder with his sword as he spoke. “Do not return until you can bring me their heads in a bag. They are at Skull Beach.” “We shall not fail you, Your Highness,” said Tira. “Then go!” the Ghost King ordered, pointing at the door with his sword. “Leave and do whatever it takes to save your king!” The Lieutenants nodded. A second later, all of the Ghosts had teleported out of the room. The Ghost King sat alone on his throne as memories flooded through his mind, memories of his enemy and of a time long ago, when things were not quite as grim as they were today. My old enemy, the Ghost King thought. You really think you’ve gotten me this time. You will be surprised. Review Topic
  11. Once again, it's Wednesday, which means it's time for another chapter of my epic. Here's an excerpt: Read the rest of Chapter Seven here. -TNTOS-
  12. Hello and welcome to the review topic of my most recent short epic, The Ghost King's Tragedy, which you can read here.The epic, once I have finished posting it, will be ten chapters long. I will post one chapter a week every Wednesday, so make sure to check back every Wednesday for the next chapter in this story.Character bios:Name: The Ghost KingSpecies: UnknownGender: MalePersonality: Paranoid and fearful, to the point of insanity. Extremely distrustful of strangersWeapon: SwordPowers: The true extent of his powers are unknown, although it is known that he can control sound, read minds, and become immaterialName: AkunaSpecies: ToaGender: FemalePersonality: Practical and to the point, though can be stubborn and recklessWeapon: Dagger-tipped staffPowers: Can control lightning (is a Toa of Lightning)Mask Power: Kanohi Ruru, Mask of Night VisionFirst appearance: The Tales of Shika Nui (epic)Name: KiriahSpecies: ToaGender: FemalePersonality: Fairly absentminded and a bit slow-witted, but is loyal to her friends and sticks to her job no matter whatWeapon: Crescent bladePowers: Has psionic powers (is a Toa of Psionics)Mask Power: Mask of HealingFirst appearance: Dimension Hoppers (epic)Name: Oggakia (known as Oggak)Species: ToaGender: FemalePersonality: Intelligent and thoughtful, but can be cold towards others and doesn't always work well with othersWeapon: SwordPowers: Can control shadow (is a Toa of Shadow)Mask Power: Mask of DreamsFirst appearance: An Unlikely Alliance (epic)Name: AhovaSpecies: ToaGender: FemalePersonality: Cheerful and honest, although talks too much and sometimes fails to take the situation seriously enoughWeapon: Magnetic gauntletsPowers: Can control magnetism (is a Toa of Magnetism)Mask Power: Kanohi Kakama, Mask of SpeedFirst appearance: Dimension Hoppes: The Other TaleName: The Master of MistSpecies: N/AGender: MalePersonality: Mysterious and engimatic and short tempered with less intelligent beings. Highly intelligentWeapon: N/APowers: Can control mist, although the fullest extent of his powers is unknownMask Power: N/ACritcisms, comments, questions, etc. are all welcome .-TNTOS-
  13. TNTOS

    Fanfiction News

    A few days ago I finished editing The Ghost King's Tragedy. I'm confident that it's ready for posting; however, the release date is still August 1st. Besides, I might do some last minute editing, which is something I always do before posting a new fanfic or chapter of a fanfic. Usually it's something simple, such as word choice or arrangement, so often what you see posted on BZP looks a little different from what is writen in my Word documents. Also, I'm proud to announce that I've officially began work on the final chapter in the Legend Trilogy, BIONICLE: The Legend Imploded. So far, the plot is going in a direction that's very different from TLR and TLE. Whereas the last two stories were basically "go on a quest to defeat the Big Bad," TLI is going to be a bit more like a "collect them all and then defeat the Big Bad," but I won't say more than that 'cause I don't want to spoil. I also think TLI is going to be much longer than TLR or TLE. It might even be two parts depending on how long it ends up being, but don't take that as definitive right now. I'm still in the earliest stages of writing, so a lot could change between now and the time I finish it. That's all for now, so see ya, -TNTOS-
  14. Howdy, y'all!* In anticipation of my upcoming epic, The Ghost King's Tragedy, I've decided to share a short excerpt from the story. This is from Chapter 3 and it probably won't make a lot of sense until I post the epic itself, but if it generates interest then I'll be happy. So here it is: The jungle was just like Kiriah remembered it: hot and humid, with vines and tree branches sticking in their path. It was just as muddy, too, and more than once Kiriah nearly slipped. She didn’t feel so bad about it, though, because the slick mud made the others cautious as well. Kiriah and Oggak were the only two with swords, so they were in the front cutting a path for their group. Kiriah had asked Akuna why they couldn’t just use their elemental powers to make a path, but Akuna had reminded her that such a move might be seen as an act of aggression by the Ghost King. They simply couldn’t risk alarming him if they were going to get the secret from him. Most of Kiriah’s concerns were quickly proven pointless, though, because they seemed to be walking along an actual path, for the grass and mud looked as though they had been trampled. There were fewer vines or branches to cut down here. This gave Kiriah and Oggak time to talk, although Kiriah didn’t really feel comfortable around the Toa of Shadow. Yes, Oggak had already reassured her that she was on their side, but Kiriah knew that shadow was generally not good, so she wasn’t sure what to say to Oggak, if anything at all. “You’re a Toa of Psionics, right?” said Oggak, glancing at Kiriah as they walked. “What? Yeah,” said Kiriah, nodding. “What about it?” “Can you sense any other minds nearby besides our own?” Oggak asked. Kiriah frowned and shook her head. “No. It feels like there’s this intense mental pressure covering area, like a giant blanket. I can’t even feel your mind and you’re right next to me.” “That’s probably because I already have mental shields,” Oggak said. “But that is an interesting observation.” “It must be the Ghost King,” said Akuna from behind them. “This is his island, after all. Maybe he knows what your element is, Kiriah, and he’s trying to stop you from using it.” “Could be,” said Kiriah, chopping a vine out of the way. “I don’t like it. You guys wouldn’t understand, but it feels like I’m missing a limb. I’ve never had to rely solely on my physical senses to interact with the world before and it makes me nervous.” “There’s no need to be nervous, Kiriah,” said Ahova, patting the Toa of Psionics on the shoulder. “I mean, what’s the worst that could happen? An ambush?” Their conversation was interrupted by a rustling sound in the treetops above. Kiriah looked up, but saw nothing. Then something darted through the air and something sharp stabbed her in the shoulder. The blow was enough to send her staggering backwards, yelping as she looked at her shoulder. A long, thin arrow stuck out of Kiriah’s shoulder. The wound burned like fire and it was bleeding profusely, but Kiriah had no time to think about it, for Akuna shouted, “Watch out!” and tackled Kiriah to the ground as a dozen more arrows flew overhead. Remember: August 1st. The truth is not what it appears. (*I can get away with cowboy talk because I live in rural Texas.) -TNTOS-
  15. 'Sup, everybody! Just wanted y'all to know that I have, as of today, entered the Library Summer Olympics. You can read my entry, Dimension Cookies, here. Yes, it is based on Dimension Hoppers and yes, I did try to write Isarot's POV similar to how he was in DiH, but whether I succeed or not depends on what y'all think. IMO I'm not too happy with it, but go and see it for yourself to come up with your own opinion. -TNTOS-
  16. Hello, Comedies readers! What you are about to read is my entry for the Library Summer Olympics 2012, which is based on one of my more recent epics, Dimension Hoppers. It is essentially a parody of the story, written from the point of view of Isarot, one of the main characters from DiH. Some things are changed, but that's to be expected for a parody.Anyway, without further ado, here is the story itself:Dimension Cookies“Isarot . . . Isarot, wake up . . . Come on, Isarot . . .”I awoke, even though I didn’t really want to. Rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, I looked to my left and saw my annoying friend, Toa Kiriah, Toa of Psionics, standing there. It looked like she’d been shaking me, which perhaps explained why I had been dreaming about sleeping on a rocking boat before she woke me up.“What is it now, Kiriah?” I asked, pulling my soft, linen blanky up to my chin. “Did your shadow scare you again?”Kiriah scowled at me. “Of course not. And that wasn’t my shadow last time, either. It was a Makuta that shapeshifted to look like my shadow.”Of course it was, I thought, but I was polite enough not to say anything.Instead, I pulled my blanky over my head and was about to go back to sleep when Kiriah shook me again, except harder this time.“Kiriah,” I said, without taking my head out from under my blanky, “if it’s not your shadow, there’s really no reason to bother me.”“But this is important,” Kiriah insisted. “Someone is raiding the cookie jar. We need to stop him.”I sat up immediately, my blanky falling off me as I looked into Kiriah’s eyes with such intensity that she had to look away.“The cookie jar?” I repeated incredulously. “Why didn’t you say so earlier?”Kiriah folded her hands behind her back and didn’t look up at me. “Well, I, er, didn’t really want you to overreact-““Kiri,” I said, leaning in and invading her personal space, “don’t ever accuse me of overreacting at the suggestion that someone is raiding the cookie jar. This is serious business.”Kiriah leaned back, while I ignored her as I jumped out of bed and tore off my Pikachu pajamas. I grabbed my tomahawk off the wall, but when I thought about it, I realized that a tomahawk wasn’t good enough for a cookie thief.So I tossed it out the window and grabbed the gigantic axe hanging on the wall next to it. The blade was stained with a red liquid, which I forget if it was the blood of my enemies or just ketchup. Either way, it would inspire terror in the heart of the cookie thief. If it didn’t, then I could just behead him.I turned to Kiriah, who was staring at my axe. “What?”“Oh, nothing,” said Kiriah, shaking her head. “I just wonder if, well, that’s necessary.”“It’s completely necessary,” I insisted. “You can never go wrong with weapons bigger than your whole body.”“Whatever,” said Kiriah, shrugging. “It’s just . . . oh, never mind. I’ll just shut up now.”“Good,” I said, lifting my axe into the air. “Talk is cheap. Now let’s go stop that cookie thief.”-The trip to the kitchen seemed to take forever, even though it was just down the hall. Kiriah was constantly hurrying me, but I ignored her. Walking slowly would make me look that much more epic when I entered the kitchen. Still, I will admit that I did walk a little faster because I cared more about the cookie jar than looking epic.When we entered the kitchen about ten minutes later, I spotted a Toa in black robes standing next to the kitchen counter, cookie jar in hand. I figured that cloak must have been hot and impractical to move in, but I also knew that the Toa knew that and was wearing it to distract us from his eating our cookies. It didn’t work.“Isarot, Kiriah,” said the Toa as he picked up another delicious cookie and stuffed it into his evil mouth. “Mfff mfff mfff?”Kiriah blinked. “Say what?”The Toa swallowed his cookie and said, “I said, have you come to stop me?”“Yes!” I said, pointing my axe at the cookie thief. “Tell me, cookie thief, what is your name?”The Toa pulled down his hood, revealing a Mask of Charisma and a mouth stained with chocolate chips and cookie crumbs.“I am Toa Darranas,” said the cookie thief, licking his lips in an annoyingly evil way. “And there is nothing you can do to stop my ultimate plan.”“Oh, yeah?” I said. “What is your ultimate plan?”“It’s very simple,” said Darranas, holding the cookie jar up. “You see, I will eat all of your cookies and . . . and then . . .”Darranas trailed off, as though he wasn’t sure what to say next.“And then laugh at us?” I finished for him.“Uh, yeah,” said Darranas quickly, nodding. “And laugh at you, which I will proceed to-”I cut the kitchen table in half with my axe and said to Darranas, “Eat one more cookie and I will eat your face.”Darranas put the cookie jar down and held up his hands. “Hey, Isarot, no need to be so cranky. We can be friends, can’t we?”His words sounded reasonable, but I was able to easily see right through his smooth talking. Darranas may have had a Mask of Charisma, but fortunately I was able to disregard his friendly words and got right to the point. No one could fool me.“Yeah, I guess you’ve got a point,” I said, lowering my axe. “I mean, they are just cookies. Eating your face as punishment does seem rather harsh.”“Um, Isarot?” said Kiriah. “Why are you acting so friendly to Darranas all of a sudden?”Before I could answer, Darranas reached for the cookie jar and said, “Now that we’re all best friends, I suppose you won’t mind if I help myself to a few cookies.”I watched as Darranas picked up not one, but two cookies out of the jar. He then raised the cookies up to his mouth and started chomping on them. Crumbs and chocolate chips fell to the floor as he ate more and more cookies with as much greed as a Nui Rama in a bula berry patch.My mind told me something wasn’t right here, but I didn’t know what it was until Kiriah shouted, “Isarot, Darranas is eating the cookies! Snap out of it!”Everything became clearer all of a sudden. I shook my head and looked at my axe, which I’d nearly dropped. Then I looked back up at Darranas, who was still eating the cookies like he owned them, the fiend. He was smiling like a child who thinks he’s gotten away with mischief, but I, the parent, was about to teach him a lesson he’d never forget.With the roar of a rock lion, I dashed at Darranas and swung my axe at him. I was too quick for him, smashing the flat of my blade directly into the side of his face. The cookie thief hit the counter as he fell to the floor . . . and, to my horror, dropping the cookie jar as he did so.Even I couldn’t get the cookie jar, which fell to the ground in slow motion. I reached for it, but it was all in vain. I could only watch as it fell closer and closer to the ground, anticipating the inevitable terrible crash. In my mind’s eye, I saw the shattered jar scattered all over the floor and the cookies nothing but crumbs that we’d have to sweep up and toss away.Abruptly and miraculously, however, the cookie jar stopped an inch above the ground. Then the cookie jar floated back up and sat itself back on the counter, well away from the edge.At that moment, I was convinced that Mata Nui himself must have intervened. How else could this miraculous event be explained? Mata Nui loves cookies, after all, so it only made sense that he would have saved the jar like that.Kiriah walked over to me and said, “That was a close one, wasn’t it?”“Yes,” I said, nodding. “Good thing Mata Nui intervened at the last minute, right?““Actually, it was me,” said Kiriah, pointing at herself. “Remember? Toa of Psionics? I used my telekinesis to catch it just in the nick of time.”“Oh,” I said. “Well, I knew that. I was just testing you, as I always do, you know.”Kiriah nodded, obviously fooled by my clever lie. “Right. I’m sure you were. So what do we do about Darranas?”I looked at the cookie thief, who was still lying on the ground with a big bump on his head. I kicked him in the side, eliciting a satisfying groan from him. I then kicked him again for good measure.“He’s going to cookie thief prison,” I said, looking back up at Kiriah. “It’s only justice.”“Right,” said Kiriah, scratching her head. “Does cookie thief prison even exist?”“If there’s a Great Spirit in this world, yes,” I said. “Now, why don’t we celebrate by eating cookies?”So Kiriah and I each took cookie from the cookie jar and ate and laughed at Darranas, who was now curled up in the fetal position like the ugly worm he was. I also kicked him a few more times and then, after we finished our short party, we shipped him off to cookie thief prison (which does in fact exist, by the way).That night, as I lay in my bed, I thought about how tasty those cookies were. I’d locked them in the cupboard to prevent future cookie thieves from getting to them, but who knows when the next cookie thief will strike?I resolved in the morning to get a guard energy hound to protect the cookies for extra security. I also resolved to get more homemade cookies from Granny Kolora tomorrow because Darranas ate way too many and the jar was now nearly empty.So I closed my eyes and dozed off immediately, secure in the knowledge that I had managed to avert a major crisis tonight. Had I not acted . . . I didn’t even want to think about it.Comments, criticisms, cookies ( ), etc. are all welcome .-TNTOS-
  17. TNTOS

    Two Tales

    Hello, short stories readers. These two stories I am posting today were my two entries for the most recent SS contest, Warm Up. They're exactly as I entered them for the contest, although I did think about editing them. But as this is a compiliation and not a rewrite, editing them wouldn't make much sense, IMO (although I did change one letter in the second story, but that's it as far as editing goes).Anyway, enough blabbering and onto the stories:Theme: VisionsWord Count: 568Title: The Curse of VaguenessKafor blinked and saw herself.No. That wasn’t it. Not exactly. She did see herself, but it was herself from the future. The Skakdi Seer watched as her future self battled a figure dressed in white robes. The being moved with the grace of a serpent; indeed there was something vaguely serpentine in his thin arms and legs that sent shivers up Kafor’s spine.Kafor wasn’t alone in this vision, however. She saw a black-and-green warrior fighting alongside her future self. She did not recognize his species at all. He was hunchbacked and hideous, with a round helmet with a protruding backside. He carried a sword and buzz saw shield, but he used them mostly for channeling shadow elemental energy.Who is that being? Who are we fighting? Kafor thought, but she really didn’t expect an answer. Her visions were always vague and this one was no different.It was then that Kafor sensed someone nearby. Glancing to the left, Kafor saw a Toa of Iron chained up (which she found ironic). She recognized him as Toa Nasis, a customer of hers, but she didn’t feel disturbed to see him in chains. She’d never liked him much anyway. She didn’t even bother theorize why he was here when she knew there wasn’t any point in speculating in these visions.Kafor turned her attention back to the fight. She saw her future self fire eye beams at the white-robed being, who ducked while at the same time with his arm blocking the shadow being’s sword. The white-robed being smirked and his face changed into a Kanohi Pakari. He slammed his fist into the shadow being’s face, sending Kafor’s future ally stumbling to the ground.Future Kafor gasped, but then the shadow being got back up and shook his head, as though he got punched in the face by unnaturally strong beings every day. The shadow being charged at the white-robed enemy again, swinging his sword. This time landing a hit on the enemy, cutting through his robes and revealing black armor underneath.Future Kafor shot more laser blasts at the white-robed enemy, which hit him in the chest. Kafor figured that should‘ve been a fatal blow, but the enemy merely staggered backwards and glanced down at the smoking hole in his chest. It looked as though the enemy’s innards were completely devoid of organs, similar to a robot’s anatomy.Then the enemy scowled and clapped his hands together, creating a sonic boom that Kafor couldn’t hear. She knew it was a sonic boom because her future self and her future ally clasped their hands over their audio receptors and reeled in agony. Kafor was glad she couldn’t hear it.The enemy ran at Future Kafor and her ally. Kafor blinked again and found herself lying rigid on her bed, staring up at the ceiling of her room. She cursed her vision for ending just then, but only halfheartedly. Her visions were always unclear and she hadn’t expected this one to be different.This one seemed more important than past visions, however, perhaps because it directly concerned her. Kafor only wished she knew when it was going to take place, if nothing else. She also wondered what Nasis had to do with it.Not much I can do about it, Kafor thought. Except, of course, wait. And, although I’ve become so good at it over the years, I hate waiting.------Theme: FlightWord Count: 578Title: The Test“Okay,” said the Le-Matoran instructor, sitting in the passenger’s seat beside Kongu. “Have you checked the levitation and weight disks?”Kongu nodded. “First thing I quick-checked, instructor-sir.”The instructor scribbled on his pad. “The chutes?”“Full,” Kongu answered. “And capped-blocked, too.”The instructor scratched something else down. “Levers and pulleys fully operational?”“Completely, instructor-sir,” said Kongu, pointing at the pulleys before him. “I had my engineer-friend look them over beforehand.”“Emergency lights and radar systems in proper condition?”“Of course, instructor-sir.”“All safety procedures followed?”“To the letter, instructor-sir.”“Then let’s commence-began the flight test.”Kongu smiled and nodded and turned to the controls. Although Kongu was careful not to show it, his nerves were wracking him so badly that he almost forgot what to do. If he passed this test, he’d become a licensed airship pilot. If he failed . . . well, he could always be a chute monitor, Kongu supposed.All right, Kongu thought. Just need to pull-grab this pulley and up-high we’ll go.The Le-Matoran pulled the pulley toward himself. The airship lurched, almost throwing the instructor off his seat, though thankfully he was securely tied down thanks to his seat belt.“Quick-sorry about that,” said Kongu, hastily letting go of the pulley to turn his attention to the instructor.That caused the ship to lurch back, knocking the instructor’s skull back against his seat’s head. “Ow! Keep your eyes on the sky, student!”“Yes, instructor-sir,” said Kongu, turning his attention back to the controls.This time, the airship flew although Kongu noticed out of the corner of his eye that the instructor was frowning and scribbling something on his pad. Kongu tried to ignore the instructor. His friend, Matau, had told him that as long as he kept his cool, Kongu would be able to pass.The airship was now in the sky, but it was not moving. Kongu had yet to unleash the capped proto chutes because he was busily making sure that the airship was steady and aiming forward. He’d heard tales of careless students who’d uncapped the chutes when the airship was aiming slightly toward the ground, which usually resulted in a bloody, messy death for everyone involved.The sensors indicated that the airship was stable, so Kongu said to the instructor, “Which way do I go-fly, instructor-sir?”“Go-fly north,” said the instructor, pointing straight ahead. “Just don’t-“In his eagerness to obey the instructor’s commands, Kongu immediately pulled the lever that uncapped the chutes. He opened them a little too wide, however, for the ship shot forward at dangerous speeds. They were flying straight toward a building and would have crashed into it had the instructor not immediately flipped the emergency break switch just in time.Without warning, the airship stopped so abruptly that Kongu was thrown forward and hit the controls. Shaking his head, Kongu looked at the instructor and smiled sheepishly.“So . . . did I pass-succeed the test?” said Kongu, although he knew the answer even before the instructor answered.“No,” said the instructor, shaking his head. “You failed-lost. Land the airship and we’ll speak-discuss your future later.”Kongu nodded unhappily and landed the airship, though this time he was careful to do things right so they wouldn’t crash into the ground.As Kongu and the instructor exited the airship, Kongu decided that maybe being a chute monitor wouldn’t be such a bad job after all. Would be easier than flying airships, at any rate.Comments, criticisms, reviews, etc. are all welcome .-TNTOS-
  18. So I decided to enter the new Short Stories contest, Warm Up. Thought it was worth mentioning, 'cause I wasn't sure I was going to enter it at first (didn't think I'd have the time or inspiration). My entry does take place in the Shikaverse, for anyone interested. It basically expands upon Kafor's vision of the future that she mentioned at the end of The Other Tale. That's it, really. Not much else I can do with a story that has to be between 400 and 600 words, although it was pretty fun to write. Don't know if I'm going to write more entries, though. Depends on what the next themes are. -TNTOS-
  19. As I am almost finished writing the third draft of The Ghost King's Tragedy (a short epic), I've decided to share some tidbits with you guys about what to expect in it: -World's End (from Dimension Hoppers) will be the main setting; however, it is not the World's End from the Ehlekverse seen in DiH but the one in the Shikaverse (AKA the main universe of all of my fanfics) -The main characters are Toa Akuna, Toa Oggakia, Toa Kiriah, and Toa Ahova, all of whom have starred in at least one epic prior to this one. This is partly because I want to write an-all female main cast, but there is a reason in-story given for why these four Toa are brought together -It takes place during Teridax's rule over the MU -It is also probably going to be the last epic I write before Dawn of the New Century. I am unsure how much of TGKT will be important to Dawn, but the events of this epic will probably affect Dawn in some ways at least I don't have a set release date for TGKT yet. It still needs to be edited several times before it will be good enough to post on here. I doubt it will take long to go over, though, because it's so short (at least, I hope so, anyway). -TNTOS-
  20. Hey, everybody. last week I posted the final chapters of my epic, Dimension Hoppers, and its supplemental story, The Other Tale. Not too many people have commented on them so far, but today I am posting a "What Could Have Been" blog entry, detailing old ideas that I was originally going to use in DiH or TOT but for various reasons that will be stated below did not. WARNING: MAJOR SPOILERS for Dimension Hoppers and The Other Tale. I recommend you first read those epics BEFORE you read this, unless you don't mind having major plot points completely and irrevocably spoiled for you. So anyway, let's go onto the first "What Could Have Been": -Kiriah was actually a later addition to DiH, despite her importance in the story. Isarot was supposed to be the only main character. However, I felt that Isarot was a boring character by himself, so I added Kiriah into the story, which I think was one of the best choices I ever made for this fic -Speaking of Kiriah, her character was originally supposed to be very different. She would have been the sole Toa of Tanjo Nui, a loner, but a loner who secretly desired to be a member of a Toa team. She would have stayed behind on Tanjo Nui while Isarot went after the thief, but I decided it made more sense for her to be a Time Stone guardian, so she ended up coming along with Isarot -The thief was also supposed to be different. My original idea for the thief was an alternate universe version of Isarot who had stolen the Time Stone to use its powers to save his own universe. I eventually decided that Toa Darranas worked better as the thief and main antagonist, although I admit that an AU Isarot would have made the story a bit more gray -The backstory for the AU Isarot was that the Time Stone in his universe broke, which destroyed many domes within the MU, causing AU Isarot to steal the Shikaverse's Time Stone to save his universe. He and normal Isarot would have gone to the partially-destroyed Karda Nui, where they would have used the Time Stone to repair AU Isarot's universe -Other characters from the Shika Trilogy appeared in early drafts but ultimately did not make the cut. Barilo appeared in the first draft, and the second draft featured Nastan and Akuna. Icetraz also would have appeared as the warden of a prison in which Isarot was kept. So would Julok, a minor Dark Hunter who would have been a fellow prisoner with Isarot in the jail I mentioned in the last sentence. But in the end, the only character from the Shika Trilogy to make an appearance in DiH was Makuta Hajax, the main antagonist from the Shika Trilogy -Hajax's role in the first draft was different from his role in the final draft. Hajax would have been the demented overlord of the partially-destroyed Karda Nui, who would attempt to stop Isarot and AU Isarot from using the Time Stone to save the universe (don't ask me why). Hajax would have had a talking Rahkshi servant named Kavi, but as anyone who has read my epic An Unlikely Alliance knows, the name Kavi went to a Matoran character instead and no talking Rahkshi have appeared in any of my epics or short stories (yet) -The first draft was in third person. The second draft was also in third person, alternating between Isarot and Kiriah's point of views. But ultimately I believe double first person worked out, for it made DiH more unique and original, giving the reader an intimate look into both their minds -Other alternate universes that Isarot and Kiriah visited in early drafts include: -One where the Barraki still ruled (this was used in the final draft) -One where the Time Stone destroyed the universe (as mentioned above) -One where the Skrall had shadow powers -One where the Piraka never left Zakaz -One where the Agori had been killed off by poisoned water -One where the Brotherhood of Makuta, the Order of Mata Nui, and the Dark Hunters formed an alliance to create peace throughout the universe -The Barraki universe originally took place on Metru Nui (I think) and Pridak was the main Barraki featured. Isarot would have been captured by the Anicans and forced to fight Barilo in an arena, but they both managed to escape by working together. Isarot and Barilo would then have broken into Pridak's castle to retrieve the Olmak, which would have caused them to fight Pridak. Pridak would have killed Barilo, but Isarot would have killed Pridak in return and then leave that dimension -Syala originally did not appear in Dimension Hoppers. A being named Horic would have been the captain of the Anicans, but I decided to put Syala in because she appeared at the end of AUA, which gave some of my readers the impression that she would be important in DiH -The Other Tale was written because I thought the readers needed to know what Nasis was doing during DiH. I originally planned on integrating it into DiH itself, but I decided that it would be easier and quicker to simply write a new epic, for I came up with the idea of TOT after I had written DiH and I did not feel like integrating scenes from Nasis's or Raider's POV (see two paragraphs below) into DiH after I had already written it -Speaking of Nasis, I originally planned to make him an emotionless Toa who was secretly creating fake Time Stones for some evil purpose. I dropped that because it simply didn’t make any sense for Nasis's character, however interesting it may have been -The Dark Hunter Raider was supposed to be a viewpoint character in DiH, basically showing us what was going on in Tanjo Nui while Kiriah and Isarot were hunting down the Time Stone. He would have also discovered Nasis’s plot to create fake Time Stones (see above), but I never ended up using him because I couldn’t find a way to seamlessly integrate Raider’s POV with Isarot’s and Kiriah’s (although he did, of course, appear in TOT) -Toa Kicho was originally supposed to be the Toa who would go with Nasis to Stelt, but I realized it made no sense to have both the leader and deputy leader leave, for who would be left to lead the team in their absence? Hence why I chose Ahova instead -The scene where the Almighty Ones show Kiriah their past was done a bit differently. Specifically, the part where two Agori are shown mining exsidian, the dialogue was quoted word for word from All Our Sins Remembered, for that was the scene the Almighty Ones were showing Kiriah. However, I realized that was plagiarism, so I instead change all of the dialogue to my own original words. Better safe than sorry, I always say -The second draft of DiH ended with a cliffhanger as Isarot and Kiriah returned from their dimension-hopping trip to discover Tanjo Nui under attack by a new mysterious enemy, which would have lead into a sequel. I decided against this in the third draft, however, because I wanted DiH to be a standalone (not counting TOT, which is a supplement and not a sequel), for I had already done a trilogy and wanted to try out a standalone epic for once -Originally, Kiriah would have died and Isarot would have lived. But I was writing the scene from Kiriah’s POV and I really didn’t want her to just lie there thinking about how painful death is while Isarot fights Darranas. So instead I changed it to Isarot dying instead, which I think worked better in the long run than Kiriah’s death -Darranas originally wore a Mask of Shape-Shifting, rather than a Mask of Charisma. This was because I had him shape-shift into Isarot during the second draft, but then decided it didn’t really work and so gave him a Mask of Charisma instead. The Mask of Charisma fits his personality much better than the Mask of Shape-Shifting (which, I might add, is not a canon mask, either) -Isarot would have befriended a group of Tahtorak in the first draft, when he went to the dimension where the Piraka never left Zakaz. The leader of the Tahtorak was Zakaza, which is the most original and creative name in the multiverse and something that you needed to know -Originally, Isarot was the sole guardian of the Time Stone, yet for some reason the island was still mostly Matoran populated and ruled by Turaga Klio. I decided this didn’t make a lick of sense, so I added Kiriah as the Matorans’ Time Stone guardian, Kolora as the leader of the Tagiki (who shared leadership of the island with Klio), and even gave the Tagiki their own “Toa” (AKA the Chofier). This created an interesting interspecies tension that gave DiH and TOT a richer atmosphere, IMO -Speaking of the Chofier, they were a very late addition to DiH and TOT. I added them in because it simply made sense for the Tagiki to have their own heroes, just as the Matoran have the Toa. I gave them four Chofier instead of six because I didn’t want them to be exactly like the Toa Tanjo. Tajah was just supposed to be Kolora's right hand man, but I gave him the title of leader of the Chofier because the Chofier needed one and I didn't want to create an entirely new character who I would probably never really use -Tagiki would have also had the ability to use Kanohi masks; however, I felt that made them too powerful, considering they can use two elements, and so decided to take away their mask powers and make their elemental powers only half as strong as a Toa. Tagiki are still physically stronger than Toa, however, and can definitely hold their own in a fight -Bluespace energy – the important and mysterious energy in the Expanded Multiverse project - played a major role in early drafts of DiH. It would have explained why Darranas went insane (he was exposed to too much bluespace energy), how the Olmak could detect the Time Stone (they both use bluespace energy), and how Darranas gained the ability to dimension-hop without an Olmak (he would have absorbed bluespace energy). But then I realized that would put my fanfics in the same universe as the Expanded Multiverse, which I didn’t really want. Plus I wasn’t sure if bluespace energy existed 100,000 years ago, for bluespace energy is one of those mysteries that the Cipher Chronicles writers want to answer. I just felt it would be too much of a hassle to ask, so I decided against it -Toa Laomos, a member of the Toa Tanjo, would have been a Toa of Earth and a member of the Toa resistance that had arisen against the Barraki in an alternate universe. I decided he worked better as a Toa of Gravity who loved epic poetry and art instead -The Almighty Ones were a fairly late idea I introduced. They were not present in any of the earlier drafts. I added them in because I liked the idea of a group of god-like entities whose individual selves had merged into one being that still referred to itself as ‘we’. I think they're interesting, personally -In the first draft, Klio had a Ta-Matoran secretary whose name I have forgotten. This Ta-Matoran would also have been Isarot's friend, but the Ta-Matoran did not make it into the final drafts (although that doesn't necessarily mean he will never appear in any of my future stories) That's all for now. I may edit this blog entry if I can think of any other old ideas that I forgot. So see ya, -TNTOS-
  21. This is the review topic for the supplemental epic, "The Other Tale," which takes place during the events of my other epic, "Dimension Hoppers."The epic itself can be found here. Enjoy.Comments, criticisms, reviews, etc. are all appreciated .-TNTOS-
  22. The end is finally here. As of this morning, I posted the final chapter of Dimension Hoppers and the epilogue of Dimension Hoppers: The Other Tale. Here are the last two summaries for DiH and TOT: In the final chapter of Dimension Hoppers, the time has come for Kiriah to make an important decision regarding her future. What she chooses will determine her path in the future, but it will hopefully be a wise choice. And In the epilogue of Dimension Hoppers: The Other Tale, Toa Nasis encounters Kafor, the Skakdi who had helped him earlier, who gives him a warning of the future. And now these stories are finally, truly over. Expect to see a "What Could Have Been" for DiH and TOT very soon. -TNTOS-
  23. Hello. my reads. Welcome to Dimension Hoppers: The Other Tale, the supplement epic to my main epic, Dimension Hoppers (which can be found here).This story takes place during the events of Dimension Hoppers, following Toa Nasis and Toa Ahova as they investigate the possibility of Dark Hunter involvement in the theft of the Time Stone. Author's note: You might want to read Chapter 1 of DiH before beginning this epic, for TOT will make much more sense if you do. Table of contents: Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Chapter Ten Epilogue So anyway, enough of my blabbering, here is the epic itself: Chapter One Toa Nasis, Toa of Iron and leader of the Toa Tanjo, ran through the streets of the city of Tuyar Akam, the capital of the island of Tanjo Nui, rushing past Matoran and Tagiki in his haste to get where he needed to, his gold armor glinting in the afternoon sun. He had urgent news to deliver as quickly as possible, along with an order directly from Turaga Klio, the Turaga of Tanjo Nui. Just five minutes ago, Nasis had been at a meeting with the leaders of Tanjo Nui, at which the two Time Stone guardians, Toa Kiriah and a Tagiki named Isarot, had also been present. It was at that meeting that Nasis learned of the theft of the Time Stone – the most precious artifact to all of the Tanjo Nuians, Matoran and Tagiki alike – and of the measures being taken to retrieve the Stone. Nasis was one of those measures. Due to suspicion of Dark Hunter involvement, Nasis and one of the other Toa Tanjo would be sent on a mission to investigate the Dark Hunters. If they found anything, they would return to Tanjo Nui to report their findings back to Turaga Klio and Baiji Kolora, who was the leader of the Tagiki. Of course, at the moment, only Nasis knew of the mission. That was the reason he was running so fast; he had to make it to the other Toa Tanjo and tell them what had just happened. He knew they were aware that he, being team leader, had been summoned to the meeting, but none of the other Toa knew of the reason for the meeting. He had to get there quickly so they could get the mission going as soon as possible. The streets of Tuyar Akam were very crowded today, as they usually were. Unlike most settlements on Tanjo Nui, Tuyar Akam was home to both Matoran and Tagiki, although due to the enmity between the two species there were often clashes between gangs that sometimes resulted in the deaths of civilians, even. Often, the Toa Tanjo and the Chofier – the heroes of the Tagiki – were kept busy taking care of the gangs and maintaining peace in this city alone, not to mention all of the other problems this island had. I wonder if it is easier being a guardian of the Time Stone rather than a full-time Toa, Nasis thought as he ran around a group of Tagiki merchants that were discussing food prices. Sometimes I think Kiriah is lucky. All she has to do is look after a rock all day; a very important rock, but a rock nonetheless, whereas me and the others have to deal with gang violence, the possibility of invasion by the Dark Hunters or Brotherhood of Makuta, natural disasters such as rockslides, and many other things besides. He was running so fast he nearly tripped over a Matoran who had bent down to pick up a dropped widget. Quickly apologizing as he regained his balance, Nasis continued running, pushing all other thoughts out of his head. He couldn’t afford to waste any more time thinking. Just got to get there and he’d be all right. Within a few minutes, he found it: The main headquarters of the Toa Tanjo, a large, multi-story building that he and the other Toa often referred to as “HQ.” It had a sleek metallic surface – mostly thanks to Nasis’ powers over iron – with large, decorative windows on the upper floors that offered an excellent view of the city. It was a dull gray, with a large front entrance that allowed several beings to enter at once. The bulky wooden doors were equipped with heavy, thick metal locks created by Nasis himself, which were locked at night to prevent thieves (or, in a worst case scenario, murderers) from breaking in. It was these doors that Nasis barged through, out of breath. He looked around the commons area – a large, wide open room with plenty of places to sit down and relax after a long day of work – for any sign of his fellow Toa. The only Toa whom he saw was Toa Kicho, Toa of Earth, reclining in a chair next to a fireplace that was currently not in use, for winter had not yet come to the island of Tanjo Nui. Kicho stared at Toa Nasis with surprised orange eyes. “Hey, Nasis, back from the meeting already?” she asked as she sat up in her chair a little straighter and adjusted her Calix. “What was the problem?” Out of habit, Nasis began toying around with a piece of scrap iron, altering its shape into whatever he wanted it to be. He always carried this little metal thing around for it usually helped him collect his thoughts. “Time Stone . . . stolen . . .” Nasis gasped, trying to catch his breath as his tiny iron scrap transformed into a colorless replica of the Stone. “What? Did you say the Time Stone was stolen?” Kicho asked, standing up and looking at him in shock. “How is that possible? What about Isarot and Kiriah? What are they doing about it?” Nasis walked over to a chair and fell down onto it. He took a deep breath and said, “Let me start . . . let me start from the beginning here. What happened is very . . . very complicated. Let’s just say an interdimensional thief stole the Stone right from underneath Isarot and Kiriah’s noses and they are now planning to go after him.” “Is there anything we, the Toa Tanjo, can do to help?” asked Kicho anxiously as she walked over to him. “Anything at all? And how do they plan to go after an interdimensional thief, exactly?” “Where are the others?” asked Nasis, looking around. “The others need to hear this story before I say anything else.” Kicho looked over her shoulder and said, “They’re all in their rooms at the moment. But I can summon them if you need me to.” “Yes, please,” said Nasis, nodding. “Get them out here. This is a story everyone needs to hear.” Kicho nodded in return and Nasis felt a brief tremor shake the place before subsiding. It was an agreed upon method of communication Kicho had developed for emergencies such as this. Being a Toa of Earth, Kicho would send a small tremor through the building, strong enough to catch the attention of the other Toa, but not enough to collapse the HQ. In fact, HQ’s floors and support beams had been redesigned slightly to allow tiny tremors like Kicho’s to shake the building without destroying or damaging it. The next minute the other four Toa came down the staircase into the lobby. Some looked curious; others annoyed, probably at being interrupted during their favorite activities. Nasis knew, however, that his news was more important than whatever they had been doing before the interruption. “Hey, look everyone, Nasis is back,” said Toa Ahova, Toa of Magnetism, pointing at the Toa of Iron. “What’s up, brother? You look really tired.” “Just got back from the meeting,” Nasis answered as his replica Stone transformed into a miniature version of Klio’s tower, where the meeting had taken place in. “Got some very bad news.” “Bad news?” Toa Laomos, Toa of Gravity, gasped dramatically. “It can’t be that bad, can it?” “Oh, it’s bad,” Kicho confirmed, nodding with a troubled face. “The Time Stone was stolen.” The others’ reactions ranged from surprise – “What? How could this have happened?” Toa Kijaka, Toa of Water, gasped – to enraged – “I’ll punch out the thief who did this!” said Toa Noros, Toa of Stone – and all the way to artistic rage – “Not fair! How am I going to get to draw that highly detailed, realistic portrait of the Time Stone I was working on if it is stolen?” Toa Laomos whined. “But there’s more,” said Nasis quickly. “I gotta tell you all the rest of the news and what Turaga Klio and Baiji Kolora plan to do about it.” “Shoot, Nasis,” said Ahova as she took a seat and stared intently at him. “We’re all ears here.” Nasis took another deep breath and said, “Last night, a thief broke into the Temple of Time and stole the Time Stone. Isarot and Toa Kiriah tried to stop him, but failed, for he escaped through a dimensional portal, according to their report.” “Dimensional portal?” Noros asked in disbelief. “Really, a-“ “I’m not finished yet,” Nasis said, throwing an irritated glance at Noros. “Anyway, Turaga Klio and Baiji Kolora are going to give Isarot and Kiriah a Mask of Dimensional Gates to allow them to chase this interdimensional thief and get the Stone back.” “An Olmak?” asked Ahova curiously, leaning forward a bit. “Where’d they get that?” “Eh, they just had one sitting around,” said Nasis vaguely. “Something left over from Klio’s adventures as a Toa. That’s all.” That was only half-true. Yes, it had been used by Klio when she had been a Toa, but it hadn’t just been ‘sitting around,’ as Nasis asserted. In truth, Klio, Toa Darranas – a legendary Toa held as a hero by all of the inhabitants of Tanjo Nui, including the Tagiki – and Kolora had used that Olmak to chase another interdimensional thief 100,000 years ago, when that thief had stolen the Time Stone for the first time. Nasis did not feel like explaining that part of the story to the rest of the team, however, at least not at the moment. He would get to that later, for he felt that he had more urgent matters to discuss with them right now. “Okay, this is all sort of abrupt,” Toa Kicho commented as she rubbed the back of her neck with her hand. “So, if I understand this correctly, an interdimensional thief stole the Time Stone and Isarot and Kiriah are going after him in order to retrieve the Time Stone?” “Precisely,” said Nasis, nodding. “So this is some kind of epic quest of danger and adventure that two daring young heroes are about to embark upon?” asked Laomos excitedly. “If only I could paint that and immortalize it in art!” “The Time Stone was stolen?” Kijaka said in disbelief. “That’s . . . isn’t that the first time that that has ever happened in the entire history of Tanjo Nui? What will happen when everyone else finds out about this?” “Ah, that’s the thing,” said Nasis, hesitant. “See, according to Klio and Kolora, this isn’t exactly the first time the Stone has been stolen before.” Silence descended upon the group as Nasis’ words sunk in. “What?” Noros said, shocked. “What do you mean this wasn’t the first time-“ “I know it’s hard to believe, but apparently 100,000 years ago a thief stole the Time Stone and then Klio, Toa Darranas and Kolora went after him,” said Nasis quickly. “Darranas died somehow during the attempt to save the Stone, but so did the thief. They kept it a secret until today, when they revealed that story during the meeting.” “Really?” said Noros skeptically. “That contradicts everything we’ve ever been told.” “That’s sort of the point, Noros,” Nasis sighed. “It’s the truth, however. They didn’t have any reason to lie to us during that meeting and Kolora got awful emotional about it.” There was more silence for a few moments. Then Ahova, always the first to speak, said slowly, “So, er, what do you want us to say about it? Get angry? Declare war on the elders? Go after the thief? What?” “It’s disconcerting, to say the least,” said Kijaka, folding her hands on her lap. “I thought Toa Darranas died going down heroically against an army of evil at the end of the war so many years ago. But he actually died attempting to save the Time Stone from an interdimensional thief? Why’d they lie about that?” “According to Klio, she said that she and Kolora thought it’d be better for everyone if that part of history was forgotten,” said Nasis, rolling his eyes. “Not the best excuse in the world, but that’s what she told us.” “What’re we going to tell the general public, then?” said Laomos as he pulled out a thin strip of wood and began drawing on it, as he was apt to do when thinking. “Surely this can’t remain a secret forever, can it?” “What we’re going to do is close the Temple to the public,” said Nasis as he adjusted his seat. “We’re going to say it was attacked by some Rahi and that it is under repair. It’ll be that way until Kiriah and Isarot return.” “Well, what are we supposed to do about it, then?” asked Noros angrily. “Are we going to go with Kiriah and her Tagiki friend on that dimensional trip or what?” “Actually, that’s not what we’re going to do, Noros,” said Nasis, shaking his head. “Rather, we’re going to be investigating the Dark Hunters.” Now Noros looked really angry. “Dark Hunters, eh? Think they have something to do with it?” “Oh, I’d say it’s likely, Noros,” said Nasis as his statue transformed into a crude replica of the Shadowed One. “They’ve wanted the Time Stone for as long as I can remember. ‘Course, the war with the Brotherhood has been keeping them busy, but the Shadowed One is very persistent, you know.” “Do the Hunters even have dimension-hopping tech, though?” Ahova wondered aloud, looking at her friends with a puzzled expression. “No idea,” said Nasis with a shrug. “What I do know is that Turaga Klio has given me permission to take one of you along with me to begin our investigation.” Noros raised a skeptic eyebrow. “Just one? Why not the whole team? The Time Stone matters to us just as much as it does to you.” “No, two Toa makes sense,” said Kicho thoughtfully. “Two Toa can move faster than six. Also, the Dark Hunters are far more likely to notice a whole team investigating them rather than just two. It is less conspicuous that way.” “Don’t forget we need some Toa here to protect the island from the greatest threats to Tanjo Nui’s security,” Laomos added as he finished his drawing and held it up for all to see. “See, this drawing features us standing on the very farthest edge of reality as some dark forces rumble in the distance. We are, in a way, the last line of defense against the forces of evil that want to devour this island whole.” “Uh, not really,” said Ahova, shaking her head. “Don’t the Tagiki have the Chofier of Mata Nui or whatever?” “Yeah, you’re right,” said Nasis, nodding. “Tajah is the leader of the Chofier. Still, I get what Laomos is getting at . . . sort of.” “How could anyone not?” asked Laomos in surprise. “Aren’t I being clear in saying that Toa have always stood against the forces of evil since time began?” “Whatever,” Nasis said, his statue now in the form of a generic Toa wearing a Mask of Shielding. “The point is we’re going to investigate the Dark Hunters and find out what we can. I can only take one of you with me. Since we’re leaving in the morning, I think I ought to make my choice now, especially since you’re all here.” Nasis began examining each of his teammates, trying to decide who he would work best with on this mission. His eyes first fell on Toa Noros, the angry, yellow-armored Toa of Stone. Noros was very intelligent, despite his angry-demeanor and large muscles, but he was also hard to work with due to his temperamental personality. He was good at battle tactics, but Nasis figured he would need someone with a calmer personality than Noros on this mission. He shifted his attention to Toa Kijaka. She was a good deal calmer than Noros, although she wasn’t exactly patient, in his opinion. This mission would probably take a while, so an impatient person like the Kadin-clad Toa of Water probably wouldn’t do well on the mission. Nasis looked at Toa Laomos and, Laomos would say about himself, art. Laomos, who wore a Kanohi Pakari, was quick-witted and plenty capable of taking care of himself in a fight. The only problem: He did not like sea travel, which this mission would involve, which caused Nasis to pass over him. He thought about Toa Kicho. She was deputy leader of the Toa Tanjo and Nasis’ closest friend on the team, for they had known each other since they had been Matoran. He could name a number of instances when she had saved his life and when he had saved hers. He decided against her, however, since someone needed to stay behind to lead the team while he was gone. As Kicho was second-in-command, he figured she should stay to lead the team in his absence. And finally, he took note of Toa Ahova, Toa of Magnetism. She was nice, if a little too chatty. She was also fairly honest; if she liked someone, she let them know. And if she didn’t, well, she also let them know. She was another member of the team he worked well with. Due to their elemental powers, Nasis and Ahova had several combination techniques that they often used in battle. Both could manipulate metal to an extent, so they worked well together in a fight. He could create metal for her to magnetize an enemy to and she could already magnetize existing metal and manipulate it to an extent. After some tough thinking, he realized he was down to Kijaka and Ahova. They seemed like they would be the best choices for the mission, but he couldn’t bring both. One or the other . . . he finally came to a decision. He pointed and said, “Okay, I’ve decided. Ahova, you’re coming with me on this mission.” “Great,” said Ahova, clapping her hands together excitedly. “I want to save the Time Stone as much as everyone else here. If this investigation could help us find it, I’ll do whatever it takes.” “Good,” said Nasis approvingly. Then he said to the rest of the Tanjo, “Okay, team. While we’re gone, Kicho will be in charge. You will do whatever Turaga Klio asks of you and work with the Chofier if necessary. Just do what we always do until Ahova and I return. Any questions?” “No,” said Noros as he got up from his chair, wiping dust off his armor. “But I’ve got plenty for the Turaga. I’ll be off as soon as we’re done here.” “I don’t know about that, Noros,” said Nasis carefully. “Klio is pretty secretive. She probably won’t answer any questions if you come at her with that attitude. Even your Suletu can’t read her mind, right?” Noros touched his Mask of Telepathy, like he’d just remembered that. “I don’t need a Suletu to get her to answer my questions. If she refuses, I’ll keep at it.” “Right,” said Nasis. “Well, now that we’ve got that settled, this meeting is officially dismissed. Ahova and I will be leaving in the morning, so we’ve got to start packing as soon as possible.” Review Topic.
  24. First Friday of the New Year, which means it's time for another new chapter of "Dimension Hoppers," and its supplement, "The Other Tale." In "Dimension Hoppers," most of the epic's biggest mysteries are revealed in a conversation between Kiriah and the beings who started it all, ending with Kiriah making a promise that she will one day keep. And in "The Other Tale," Toa Nasis and the Chofier Tajah are recovering from their fight with the Dark Hunter Raider, which gives Nasis some time to think about the relationship between the Tanjo Nuians and the Dark Hunters. Next week will be Chapter 20 of DiH and the Epilogue of TOT, which means the end is nearly here. So see ya, -TNTOS-
  25. Another Friday, another update, so here's the summary: In this chapter, Kiriah and Isarot go to confront the thief and foil his plans once and for all. But when the thief proves to be a stronger opponent than they thought, the fight turns deadly and the conclusion is one that no one could have foreseen. Only two chapters left now. The end is near. -TNTOS-
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