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Welcome to the review topic for Embers. This tale unfolds in an alternate timeline where the Great Spirit Robot mysteriously shuts down in the midst of Teridax’s takeover. In the wake of this second Great Cataclysm, lightstones and heatstones begin to dim and die throughout the universe, dooming its denizens to a dark, cold demise. Metru Nui – with lifegiving light still seeping through the sun holes overhead, and its cold streets heated by the fires of the Great Furnace – becomes the last bastion for the Matoran species. But when the city’s Toa depart to rescue Matoran still trapped out in the dark of the dying universe, they leave the populace vulnerable to the machinations of an unexpected enemy, and return to a city they no longer recognise. I won’t include content warnings for each specific chapter, so be aware that this story will have a darker tone, both literally and figuratively. There are no clear-cut heroes in Embers, no easy answers or perfect heroes. The story deals with themes of loss and despair, PTSD and misplaced faith, but also hope despite adversity, and unity against great odds. In chapters to come, there will be depictions of violence, mentions of suicide, ethical dilemmas, and bonkle-styled cursing. For the purists out there, be warned that within the world of Embers, genders aren’t locked to specific elements, romance does exist, and some aspects of Bionicle history have been reinterpreted. On a similar note, I generally prefer not to mess with canon characters too much when writing fanfics. As such, this story won’t be featuring too many familiar faces. I’ll leave it up to the imagination of readers as to whether there were simply different heroes in this universe, or if the heroes of prime canon met with unfortunate fates off-screen. Those who’ve read some of my older stories on this site, or have played with me over on the RPG forum, may also recognise some names or character concepts. That’s just me recycling old ideas I like; no prior knowledge of older versions of those characters is required, and they will likely be portrayed differently in this story anyway (though I may slip in some sneaky references on occasion). With all of that out of the way, any feedback and comments are greatly appreciated. I hope you enjoy Embers. Book 1 - Darkness Book 2 - Duty Book 3 - Disunity Book 4 - Death Book 5 - Divinity Book 6 - Defiance
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This is the review topic for my new epic: http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25392-silver-icon-hunters-of-the-dark/ Any feedback is appreciated!
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Unification <- here is the text itself. I've been toying with the idea of starting writing an epic here on BZPower for a very long time now, and finally took the dive. My delay was mainly due to not being able to pick from the many stories in my mind to actually put out here, not having time to do so and finally being anxious as to its quality and reception. I have finally settled on one of my concepts, though it might be too lengthy and ambitious to see through. Nonetheless, I hope I'll be able to finish what I started with this. Picking this subject is a strange move from me, since I generally hold the opinion that Bionicle should have taken a very different approach post-2008. I would have cut out the setting-change entirely, either continuing the story within the GSR focusing on the struggle against Makuta's reign, or wrapping things up by having the Toa Nuva succeed in awakening Mata Nui, and starting a whole new inside-the-GSR storyline in 2009. Nevertheless, Bara and Spherus Magna is what we got, and I wanted this story to potentially fit into the established lore. Setting it so far into the future is a choice I made to allow for it to fit into said canon while still being able to introduce new concepts, with much of that time being missing history. The setting of the story is set up so that rampant historical revisionism had clouded the picture of the past, which is why the things some of the characters "know" doesn't align with the canon - simply put, they don't know the truth of what happened. Bionicle was never really allowed to be bleak or tackle darker themes due to being a child-oriented property, so some of the things Unification will deal with may seem out of place, but I implemented the vast leap in time to make it feel more authentic nonetheless. This is planned to be a really long story, spanning various settings and characters, and even paralell storylines. I just hope I'll actually manage to get through it all! Naturally, I'm very interested in hearing the thoughts and comments of the readers.
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This is the review topic for my new epic, Retribution. Please give criticism, or just generally talk about the epic if you want!
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Unseen Light
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Dedicated to: The late, great Monty Oum, and all of my dear friends, who’ve stuck with me for all these years. Author’s Notes: Welcome to the review topic for Reborn. I’m not sure how many people remember me from the old days, but that’s unimportant. Hopefully if you’re here, you’ve read and enjoyed the story I have to offer. It would mean a lot if you told me what you thought of it – I’m a bit rusty when it comes to writing Bionicle fanfics, so pointers on how to improve would be appreciated. Reborn is set about a year before the events in Karda Nui, so at roughly the time that the Prologue takes place, Lewa is fighting Onua in the Nui-Rama hive. Most of the characters are original, so there won’t be many familiar faces – that being said, as characters are introduced, I’ll add profiles describing them to this topic, so you’ll have a guide. Reborn is more or less set in the G1 universe, where most things are happening as dictated by canon, and most things occur according to canon, with the rules of the universe applying. With one major exception. Fantasy Gun Control/Medieval Stasis: I can understand why Lego couldn’t give their characters guns, but personally, I find the idea of a universe that had discovered gunpowder (ex. Cordak blasters, which have been in existence for at least 1000 years before 2001) and hadn’t started using it for small arms a bit strange. As such, in Reborn there will be a few characters that use firearms. I know that’s not everyone’s cup of tea – I’ve gotten flak from readers about this before – and that is your own opinion. However, I would like to note that not every character will use guns: only a small handful will, and they’re along the lines of prototypes. Most will stick with the weapons that exist in the storyline of G1. Sound good? Character Guide: Brotherhood Characters Volterix: A Makuta, Volterix is a lower-ranked member of the Brotherhood, who is in charge of managing the Toa Hagah that survived the Purge; before that, he was in charge of suppressing information on the Brotherhood from being leaked. While he is a good fighter and virus master, his true strength is his problem-solving abilities and creative planning; he also invented a form of mind control that he uses to keep the Hagah in line. He recently began work with the newest creation of Mutran, the Shadow Leech, and experimenting with the results. He wears a Kanohi Tryna and favors a halberd in battle; while a hulking mass of armor, he is noticeably skinnier than the average Makuta. Art: Official (by Akaku: Master of Flight) Asha: A Toa of Psionics, Asha is one of the few Toa Hagah that has survived the years of war. Once a proud Toa, years of being forced to witness and take part in countless atrocities has broken her into the depths of despair. She loathes her existence, but is unable to escape it, and as such simply hopes for a chance to mitigate the damage her actions have done. She wears battered and tarnished blue-gold armor, with the symbol of the Hagah on her shoulder-plates despite her best efforts to deface them. She wears a Kanohi Volitak, and wields a sword and a set of daggers. Rarin: A Steltian brute, Rarin is the servant of Makuta Hecate, on loan to Volterix for his operations. Claimed by her near the beginning of the universe, she modified him to have increased intelligence and power over Stone, along with enhancing his natural strength and making him more agile. Calm and composed, he was loaned to Volterix to help run his experiments with Shadow Leeches (and to secretly report back to her on his findings). In the rare times he enters combat, he uses a pair of arm-mounted shields and a short blade. Subject Beacon: The newest prototype for the Brotherhood, Beacon is the first Shadow Toa. She was captured and corrupted by Volterix, and proved her power by slaughtering her erstwhile team of Toa. It is impossible to tell what personality she might have had prior to her corruption, but she is eerily serene during all her actions. That said, she takes a dark pleasure from using her powers, especially since very few Toa have any idea of how to counter her element. Her name, and all information on her prior identity, is hidden and presumed lost. She wears an infected Pakari, and wields a staff. Characters in the City Rhonwen: The leader of the Toa in the City, Rhonwen is a Psionics Toa. The war against the Brotherhood and the Dark Hunters has left her suspicious of outsiders, and her own cynicism gives her a dim outlook on new Toa despite the universe’s need for young blood. She rarely uses her telepathy, despite it being what she is best at, due to an experience with a Toa who used it far too freely, and as such lost their sense of self and morality in the process. While she is experienced, she often assumes she knows more than she does, or works off of faulty data. She wears a Mask of Biomechanics, and wields a pair of swords; she also carries a pair of shields, which she manipulates with her telekinesis. Voriki: A Toa of Lightning, Voriki is Rhonwen’s second-in-command and the commander of the City’s defenses. In contrast to his more irrational leader, Voriki is much more personable and level-headed. The only reason he has not taken command of the team is that he feels Rhonwen is better suited for now. He is the team’s main powerhouse in a fight. He wears a Kanohi Hau, and wields a Storm Staff. Undine: A Toa of Water, Undine was a scientist prior to her ascension, and that has not changed to this day. She is quiet and soft-spoken, and while she is a capable fighter she much prefers her studies. She doesn’t have much imagination, which sometimes works against her when it comes to using her mask. She wears a Mask of Conjuration, and wields a naginata. Cailean: A Toa of Air, Cailean is the youngest and newest of the team, only ascending two months prior. This has unfortunately made Rhonwen distrustful of him, despite his first assignment being to escort the people of his village to the City, a task he succeeded admirably at. He is surprisingly skilled with his element and weapons, despite his youth, and is irritated that the Psionics Toa ignores this in favor of her prejudice towards novices. He wears a Kanohi Kakama and wields a pair of swords, which can double as wings when attached to his back. Other City Inhabitants Sindri: A Matoran of Stone, Sindri is the leader of the Matoran Militia, the civilian defense and law enforcement organization. In comparison to the Toa, he has his head on his shoulders a bit more tightly screwed on his shoulders, especially in comparison to Rhonwen. He and the Psionic Toa both report directly to the City’s leader Fallon: she via telepathy, he via communicators. He wears a powerless, Noble-style Ruru, and uses a Kanoka launcher and blades in combat. Taiki: The second-in-command of the Matoran Militia, under Sindri. She is a Matoran of Lightning (Vo/Xi), and wears a powerless Miru. -Inferna
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This is the review topic for my first serious work of fiction, Skull Grinder Reimagined. Questions, ideas, and feedback are all greatly appreciated. Enjoy.
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http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/21824-the-heist-or-how-berix-became-a-real-thief/ review me
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This is the review topic for The Darkest Light, volume three of the Xaterex Multiverse Storyline. As always, reviews, comments, criticisms, and all forms of feedback are welcome!
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hello fam i missed breaking point and i never got to post enough as the homegirl nadia so i thought i'd write this as a little passion project to keep me busy and quench my recent near-future fix. wasn't going to put up a review topic but i figure what the frick maybe someone will want to post, and if not, i'll just keep on writing by myself deuces -Tyler
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Link to Epic Hey, y'all! Thanks for taking a look at my first Epic since 2007! (I know, I'm equally shocked). Any comments, criticism, and otherwise thoughts on it will be extremely appreciated! And again, thanks for taking time to read it. Hopefully it's half decent
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This is the review topic for my little Bionicle story, i guess. I'm not the best writer, and i make mistakes often, if something looks funny, feel free to point it out. :t the story topic is HERE. This is the story of Tiricus, an agori who just wanted to do his job and live his life, now he finds himself far from home, in an alien location, with little hope of return. What perils and adventures await him on the far side? Story Marks I II III IV logs [#AODEH]
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This is the review topic for Unknown Frontier. Comments and criticism are greatly appreciated. -Summary- When a new world is discovered through a technological revolution, it falls to two matoran, specifically chosen and trained, to explore this new frontier and report back with their findings. But what they find beyond the rift may prove to be more than they could ever have prepared for.
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This is the official review topic for Rock Bottom. Please leave feedback, recommendations and suggestions for later story serials! Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Epilogue
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Hello, and welcome to my review topic for Foundations of War. It can be found here: http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/14803-foundations-of-war/ I will accept any sort of comment you can possibly think of that deserves to be put on this topic. If I feel inclined (which I probably will), I shall reply to said comment.
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http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/13919-chronicles-of-the-cold-hearted/ The review topic for my Bionicle Epic "Chronicles of the Cold Hearted". Feedback/criticism/suggestions/ideas are all welcome.
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Oh hi fam! Review my FTL RPG prequel, Whatever Happened to Sophie Chastain?, focused on your favorite rabid Creole XO and mine, here in this topic. Gumbo will be distributed in further chapters on a meal-by-meal basis. -Tyler
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Here is the review topic for my story centered around me and my friends.
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This is the review topic for my fanficton series, The Gundaru Nui Saga. If you have anything to say about the story, please reply to this topic!
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Okay here's the review topic to Chronicles of Masuko. Thanks! Story: http://www.bzpower.com/board/index.php?showtopic=8772
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Hello,and welcome to the review topic for my Hunger games review topic*Note: I will be doing Catching fire and Mockingjay once i'm done with this oneOkay,so i'm remastering the Hunger Games trilogy to make a BIONICLE version.List of epics:(That's a Nui-Rama,by the way)THE HUNGER GAMES: http://www.bzpower.c...?showtopic=4210Characters:MorbuzahkGrefujahZaruFridaRandom VahkiMorbuzahk's parents(mentioned only)Turaga Dume(mentioned only)Plot:When his brother is chosen to compete in the Hunger Games,Morbuzahk takes his place,not even knowing what he will go through.Of course,silly,this is the thread where you get to review the epics;made for you to review this and for future Epics to be better. I can't improve if you just say "Wow,that was awesome,make more!". It lightens up my spirits,but it doesn't help me to improve.
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http://www.bzpower.c...?showtopic=7434 <-Epic I intend this epic to be a tribute to classic Bionicle (2001-2003), particularly the Mata Nui Online Games and the Cathy Hapka novels. New chapters will be posted every Tuesday. I expect this epic to be ongoing for a very long time.I will be posting information on the canon of this story in the Review Topic. Though I stay mostly to the Greg canon as I always do, this story takes place in a universe in which the history of the Matoran has been profoundly affected by various invasions, exoduses, and changes in government throughout the history of Metru Nui. Footnotes from the story are also addressed here.FOOTNOTES:Chapter 1: * 1,122 Matoran were transported from Metru Nui to Mata Nui; this was the city's entire population at the time, as a number of mass exoduses occurred prior (the city's population prior to the Toa/Dark Hunters war was roughly 18,000, and before Dume's closing of the gates about 9,500). Those that remained and were taken to Mata Nui are "the original thousand."
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This is a review topic for The Immortals. Ths has nothing to do with the Henry Cavill movie of the same name (in which case, here's my review: it sucked), but a little epic I decided to start. At first I thought I was going to do a short story based off of a scene and inner dialogue I had in my head a couple of days ago, but the point that I wanted to get to needed more building up to it so I stretched out the story into several chapters. Either way, hopefully I can express some of the feelings I've been having lately in such a way that this resonated with readers.24601
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So, my writing experience on the BZP forums has just begun. "Team curse" is up now ( it's here ), and here you can tell me if you like it or not, give me advices on how can I refine my writing or how could the plot go on. Feedback is truly welcome!
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