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  1. Welcome, all, to the review topic of my most recent (and last) epic, In the End. Read the epic itself here. This epic serves not only as the finale to the Dawn Duology (consisting of this epic and the last, Dawn of the New Century), but also as the finale to my Bionicle fanfic universe (aka the Shikaverse) in general. It's been a fun ride, but with me putting more time into establishing my professional writing career, I feel like the Shikaverse's time has come. There's not much to say here, except that I suggest reading Dawn of the New Century first, if you haven't already. Some familiarity with the Shikaverse* in general would help, but it's really only Dawn that you need to read first, which can be found here. Comments, criticism, reviews, etc. are all welcome . *You can find links to other Shikaverse stories in the red link to my library in my sig. -TNTOS-
  2. TNTOS

    In the End

    Hi and welcome all to my newest epic, In the End, the final book in the Dawn Duology and the final epic set in my Bionicle fanfic universe (aka the Shikaverse). This epic is a sequel to Dawn of the New Century, which you can read here. I highly recommend that you read Dawn first, otherwise this epic won't make a lot of sense. Table of Contents: Prologue Chapter I Chapter II Chapter III Chapter IV Chapter V Chapter VI Chapter VII Chapter VIII Chapter IX Chapter X Chapter XI Chapter XII Chapter XIII Chapter XIV Chapter XV Chapter XVI Chapter XVII Chapter XVIII Chapter XIX Chapter XX Epilogue With that out of the way, enjoy: Prologue 150,000+ years ago. . . . The tiny Sawori named Jinka ran through the castle hallways as fast as her short legs could carry her. She ran by guards, who recognized her as the King's messenger, servants scrubbing the floors (almost tripping over a bucket of water in her haste to reach the throne room), and a Heratonian noble who under normal circumstances she would have stopped to greet. Instead, she shoved him aside and muttered a half-apology, even with the knowledge that she would probably get in trouble for that later. Right now, she needed to find the King and tell him about the visitors who were waiting for him outside the castle. She had no idea who they were; however, she sensed that to stand against them would be every bit as foolish as standing against the storm, and probably more lethal. She eventually reached the large double doors coated in gold that protected the King's throne room like a pair of sentinels. It took her a few more minutes to argue with the actual guards to let her in. They insisted that the King wanted complete privacy, whereas she insisted that the King could not afford to ignore her message. They eventually relented, although she caught them muttering foul curses at her under their breath as they opened the doors. When Jinka entered the throne room, she couldn't help but glanced around in awe even as her feet carried her forward. Unlike the rest of the castle, the throne room was bathed in life. Instead of a carpet, a fine layer of grass covered the floor, while vines of various colors covered the walls and ceiling, twisted together to resemble paintings or wallpaper. A tiny stream with a bridge built over it flowed through the center of the room, emerging from the right wall and going down the drain at the other end. It was like stepping outdoors. At the other end of the room, the throne was bare. Worried, Jinka almost turned around to leave before a soft, though authoritative, voice said, “Jinka, what brings you here?” Startled, Jinka looked around until she spotted a large, well-armored being kneeling in the center of a small garden of flowers and vegetables in the lower left corner of the room. She wondered how she had missed him, because he was so much larger than anything else in the room, although she reminded herself that the King's armor was capable blending in with nature in ways none of the Sawori understood. With the King's eyes on her, Jinka bowed deeply and she said, “King Atuje, you have six visitors who wish to speak with you.” The King of Life lifted a small watering can and poured some water on his flowers as he said, “Who are these six, Jinka? Emissaries from the south?” “No, my lord,” said Jinka, shaking her head. “They're, well, they're hard to describe. I have no idea who they are or where they even came from. They simply demanded an audience with you.” Atuje looked up at her. His eyes were searing, searching, as if he knew every secret she had ever held in her entire life. Few Sawori were capable of standing underneath that gaze and Jinka was no exception, shrinking back under his burning eyes as she would from a large fire. “Six strangers show up on my doorstep demanding an audience with me and you don't bother finding out their names, at the very least?” said Atuje. “I am disappointed with you, Jinka. I thought you knew better.” The disappointment in his voice was perhaps worse than his gaze, prompting Jinka to say hastily, “Well, my lord, I can describe them to you. They're tall, but not as tall as you, and wear black cloaks. And they, well, they radiate this power that reminded me of yours, so I thought-” “I have no equals,” said Atuje. “I would know about them if I did. You must be mistaken.” Jinka wanted to agree with Atuje under the weight of his gaze and words, but something inside her – that stubborn spirit that had earned her a beating more than once as a child – kept her mouth going. “No, my lord, they really do radiate the kind of power you wield. It's different, obviously, but I can tell it equals yours.” Atuje stopped watering his flowers. For a moment, Jinka feared punishment for her insolence, but then the King said, “Yes . . . you are right. I sense their power now. It is not insignificant, to be sure.” Jinka breathed a sigh of relief. “Do you wish for me to go down and retrieve them, sir?” “No need for that,” said an unfamiliar voice behind her. “We're already here.” Startled, Jinka looked over her shoulder and saw the six visitors from before standing in front of the closed double doors. She didn't know how they had gotten there. She hadn't heard the doors open and they certainly hadn't climbed in through one of the windows, as those were closed shut. “I should be a more considerate host,” said Atuje as he placed his watering can down and stood up. “My name is King Atuje, the King of Life and ruler of Heratone. What are your names?” The lead visitor took a step forward, causing Jinka to scramble out of his way so as to not be in the middle of things, like a good servant. “You can call us the Great Beings. My name is Angonce.” “You did not introduce the rest of your friends,” Atuje said. “Are they simply your servants or are you forgetful?” The one named Angonce shook his head. “Their names aren't important right now. At least, they won't be until we're done talking.” “And what makes you assume I wish to speak with any of you?” Atuje asked. “You rudely barged into my throne room and refuse to tell me your names. To me, this seems like the genesis of an invasion.” “Rest assured, King of Life, that we have no intention of taking your realm from you,” said Angonce, gesturing to one of the windows. “We are already the rulers of our own world, anyway. And honestly, one world is more than enough to occupy our time, so why would we ever want another world?” “There are some beings who do not use reason,” Atuje said as he picked a flower from his garden and sniffed it. “In my time, I've met more than a few power-hungry fools who let their desire to be the king of the hill blind them from logic and reason. How can I be certain you are not the same?” “Because you don't even know us yet,” Angonce said. “But we have heard of your power and knowledge, Atuje, and that is why we are here.” “Explain yourself.” “There's one thing you need to know about us Great Beings,” said Angonce, gesturing at his group. “The one thing we value above all else – above money, above power, above even our own people – is creation. We are creators by nature, scientists who want to figure out how the universe works. It is our duty as creators to learn as much as we can about everything. Ignorance rarely created anything worthwhile, after all; at least, that is our belief.” “So you have come to me for training or knowledge?” Atuje asked. “You sound like experienced creators already.” “Both,” said Angonce. “We wish to be your apprentices for a short while, at least long enough to learn the one secret we know you hold.” “And what might that secret be?” Atuje asked, dropping the tiny flower into the flowers at his feet. “The secret to creating life,” Angonce answered. “True life, not just a robotic imitation. We have heard that you create beings and creatures that are every bit as living those birthed by nature, identical down to the last particle. We believe that the next step in our growth as creators is to create life.” Curious, Jinka glanced at Atuje. All the Sawori knew about Atuje's secret, but none of them knew what it was. It was a secret Jinka was well-acquainted with, having had direct experience with it in the past. She only wished she could remember how Atuje had done it, although she supposed ignorance was for the best, as knowing how it was done would probably be useless information to her anyway. Atuje stepped out of his tiny garden, carrying a carrot that Jinka had not seem him pick, and sat down on his throne, which was made entirely of tightly woven branches grown to resemble a chair. When he sat down, he took a bite out of his carrot and crunched on it thoughtfully for a moment before addressing the Great Beings again. “That is perhaps the largest request anyone has made of me in the last ten years,” Atuje said. “And it is also the largest request I will have to deny in ten years.” A shift in the room's atmosphere made Jinka look at the Great Beings. Though they didn't appear to have moved from their current position, she sensed they were ready to act at any moment. Considering the sheer amount of raw power their forms radiated, Jinka figured a conflict between them and Atuje would level the entire land or at least the castle and the surrounding countryside. She just hoped it wouldn't come to that. “You deny our request?” Angonce said, the disbelief in his voice obvious, even though it was equally obvious he was trying to hide it. “Of course,” said Atuje. “The knowledge needed to create true life is powerful. In the wrong hands, it could lead to untold destruction and chaos. Only a fool would hand out this knowledge to whoever asked for it. And I am no fool.” Angonce took a deep breath and said, “Rest assured, Your Majesty, that we Great Beings have no intention of using this secret for malice. Our only desire is to create. Nothing more.” “Have you heard the story of the logger?” Atuje said. Angonce shook his head, as did the other Great Beings. “Let me tell you it,” said Atuje. “Once, a long time ago, there was a Sawori logger who discovered a large forest previously unknown to his people. It was a beautiful forest, so beautiful that he didn't want to cut down any of the trees, despite the high quality wood that was abundantly available. He chose to keep this knowledge a secret until one of his friends convinced him to tell the rest of the world about it. 'Think of the money you could make,' his friend said, 'by selling this wonderful wood to the rest of the world.' “Having spent his whole life on the edge of poverty, the logger agreed. He spread this knowledge far and wide to every corner of Heratone. When everyone heard of it, loggers from all over the country made a mad dash for the wood and leveled the entire forest in the process. Not a single tree survived the onslaught of wood-hungry loggers. The beauty that the logger had once loved so much was gone, so the logger – having nothing to look forward to but a continued life of poverty – killed himself, as these stories usually end.” “I'm afraid we're not much for stories,” said Angonce. “Nothing you say will dissuade us from getting that knowledge.” “The moral of the story is that good intentions often have bad consequences,” Atuje said. “Besides, I haven't even perfected the technique yet. All of my creations have never been truly living. They have always required some mechanical parts on my end so they can function. Jinka, come here.” Trembling, Jinka nonetheless obediently approached her master. When she reached his throne, she stopped and stood with her back to the Great Beings. She tried not to look up at Atuje's face, as she had an idea of what he was about to do and looking at him would just make it worse. “Jinka is one of my creations,” said Atuje, patting her gently on the head with one of his heavy hands. “One of the best, in fact. She is the only one who has managed to successfully integrate with Sawori society. I can sense you are surprised. She does look very much like your average Sawori, doesn't she?” In spite of herself, Jinka began breathing hard. She reminded herself that Atuje was a fair and merciful ruler, that he hated killing, and that whatever he was planning to do to her wouldn't be cruel or unnecessary, probably wouldn't even hurt in fact. None of that calmed her in the slightest. “That is an illusion, however, crafted by my ingenious hand,” Atuje continued. “Watch.” Atuje wrapped his thick fingers around her right arm, causing Jinka to whimper. “What are you going to do to her?” Angonce said. “She whimpered.” “It is nothing, I assure you,” said Atuje. “She is going to be fine. The way I built her makes what I am going to do possible without leaving any permanent damage.” Without warning, Atuje ripped off Jinka's right arm. Behind her, the Great Beings let out various noises of disgust and surprise, but Jinka didn't join them. She just looked at the socket where her right arm had been. A hollow socket was all that was left, but Jinka didn't cry out, even though she wanted to. She just waited patiently as Atuje lifted her disconnected arm up for the Great Beings to see. “Behold,” said Atuje in the voice of a creator explaining the intricacies of his craft. “Her entire body is like that. About the only part that cannot be taken off in that way is her head; otherwise, she would die.” “So she's not really alive at all,” said Angonce. “Just a puppet.” Those words stabbed at Jinka's heart like a knife as Atuje said, “Hardly a puppet. While she may not be perfectly organic, she is nonetheless one of my subjects and I will not tolerate such an insult to her being.” Atuje reconnected her right arm. Jinka swiveled it several times back and forth, trying to make sure he had put it back on correctly. She realized she was holding her breath, which she let out rather more loudly than she intended. “Do you still want to know how to create life?” Atuje asked. “After what I just showed you?” Jinka glanced over her shoulder at the Great Beings. Though they still faced Atuje, she sensed they had all come to some sort of agreement without saying a word. “Of course,” said Angonce, without a hint of hesitation in his voice. “We want more than anything else to improve our craft. Besides, we can already see ways to improve your work, if Jinka is representative of your ability.” Atuje stroked his chin. “If I accept you as apprentices, what will I get in exchange? What do you have to offer me that I cannot get on my own?” “Another secret of our own,” said Angonce. “One we know you don't know. It is called soul-splitting.” Atuje's interest was apparently piqued at the mention of that technique, as he leaned forward in his throne, although Jinka didn't know what the term meant. “You mean you know how to split souls?” Atuje asked. Angonce nodded. “All of us do. And we've agreed to exchange that secret for yours. We believe the exchange is fair. Do you agree?” “It is more than fair,” said Atuje. “It is generous. You are going to tell me how to cheat death, how to survive long after my physical body has given out in exhaustion. Do you realize what that means?” “Of course we do,” said Angonce. “But cheating death is useless if we do not know how to bring about life, wouldn't you agree? We can complete one another's mental libraries with an exchange of knowledge.” “Oh, yes,” said Atuje. “Yes, yes, of course. I will teach you what I know and you will teach me what you know. Deal?” “Deal,” said Angonce. “Now where shall we begin?” “I will take you to my laboratory,” said Atuje. “I can only perform my experiments down there. Jinka, I want you to inform the rest of the castle that we have guests whose will require accommodations similar to my own.” “Yes, sir,” said Jinka, bowing. “I will make sure everyone in the castle knows.” With that, Jinka dashed away from Atuje's throne, perhaps a bit quicker than she should have. She passed the six Great Beings, who barely acknowledged her, and reached the large double doors. When she stopped to look back, she saw that Atuje and the Great Beings were already deep in talk about matters she couldn't possibly comprehend. What am I doing? Jinka thought. I've got a job to do, one that doesn't involve gawking at our guests. Still, as Jinka exited the throne room and dashed down the stairs, she couldn't help but sense of feeling of ominousness hang over her head like a dark cloud. She ignored it, however, as she came upon the first of her fellow servants and began explaining to him what Atuje had told her. Whatever happened would be under the King's power. She had no right to worry about it. Review Topic
  3. Once again, it's Wednesday, which means it's time for another chapter of my epic. Here's an excerpt: Read the rest of Chapter Seven here. -TNTOS-
  4. Just thought I'd give y'all some news on what I have been working on recently: For epics, I have been writing the second draft of Dawn of the New Century. It is coming along well so far and I have nearly finished it. It looks like it will have a sequel, based on the way the story is heading currently. It could possibly even be a trilogy, but again it depends largely on the direction the story takes. After I finish writing the second draft of Dawn, I will be editing The Ghost King's Tragedy and GC#12. I can confirm that TGKT takes place during Teridax's rule of the MU and that GC#12 takes place directly after the death of Teridax, which is all I am going to say about the stories for now. Don't want to spoil too much. I have not yet begun work on BIONICLE: The Legend Imploded, but I will soon because I want to post it around the same time as Dawn. There will be a couple of new members added to the main cast of Mata Nui and friends. Also, it will not be based off any BIONICLE movie because they never made a sixth one. Rest assured, however, that it will be based on a canon BIONICLE story year, which I don't think any of y'all should have much trouble figuring out once I post the final chapter of TLE. That's all the news for now, so see ya, -TNTOS-
  5. As I am almost finished writing the third draft of The Ghost King's Tragedy (a short epic), I've decided to share some tidbits with you guys about what to expect in it: -World's End (from Dimension Hoppers) will be the main setting; however, it is not the World's End from the Ehlekverse seen in DiH but the one in the Shikaverse (AKA the main universe of all of my fanfics) -The main characters are Toa Akuna, Toa Oggakia, Toa Kiriah, and Toa Ahova, all of whom have starred in at least one epic prior to this one. This is partly because I want to write an-all female main cast, but there is a reason in-story given for why these four Toa are brought together -It takes place during Teridax's rule over the MU -It is also probably going to be the last epic I write before Dawn of the New Century. I am unsure how much of TGKT will be important to Dawn, but the events of this epic will probably affect Dawn in some ways at least I don't have a set release date for TGKT yet. It still needs to be edited several times before it will be good enough to post on here. I doubt it will take long to go over, though, because it's so short (at least, I hope so, anyway). -TNTOS-
  6. As the year draws to a close (and, I am sure, is already over in some parts of the world), I am going to post some things to expect from me next year in the fanfics department: -BIONICLE: The Legend Exploded, the sequel to my TLR parody, will probably be posted sometime in January or February, probably the first new story I post next year -Both DiH and TOT will wrap up in January, thanks to my one chapter a week schedule. I would have liked to conclude them this year, since I see DiH as a primarily 2011 thing, but the downtime kind of messed things up. At least they will have an ending, anyway -The Ghost King's Tragedy, the mini-epic, will probably be posted sometime early next year, but I can't say for sure when, as I haven't even finished the second draft yet -The Glatorian Chronicles will probably wrap up early in the year, although again I don't have a precise fixed date for that. I will post the last four stories, though, so don't worry -Dawn of the New Century will probably be written and posted in 2012, most likely later in the year -BIONICLE: The Legend Imploded, the third and final comedy parody in the Legend Trilogy, will be posted around the same time as Dawn, which again will probably be later in the year -Depending on how fast I write all of this, I might write that Hero Factory fanfic I mentioned an entry or two back. No guarantee and with all of this stuff on my plate I can't see myself doing it next year, but you never know -Also will probably be focusing a bit more on my original fiction, which may mean less activity on BZP and in the Library forums, but I will try to remain as active as I possibly can next year That's all the news for now. Hope y'all have a happy New Year and all that. -TNTOS-
  7. Would anyone here be interested in reading a commentary on my first BIONICLE epic, The Tales of Shika Nui? Or perhaps one for my first comedy, My Bionicle Road Trip? If I do write and post it, it would probably be a mixture of seriousness and humor. Because let's be honest here; TToSN wasn't the greatest (being my very first epic and all) and probably deserves to be mocked. I would probably point out a couple of interesting serious points when I feel like it, but I imagine my style of commentary would be similar to the kind I use for TLReloaded's commentary, though slightly more serious and less random. It would look like this: (Paragraph of TToSN) (Commentary in bold) I doubt there will be commentary for every paragraph in every chapter, of course, but that's just to give you an idea of what it might look like if I ever do it. The reason I myself want to do it is because I feel TToSN has been around long enough to get a little bit of mocking. Also, it is always fun (albeit slightly painful) to read one's older works, so this might give me some ideas or remind me of dropped plot points I could possibly resolve in the upcoming crossover fanfic series coming next year. Just note that even if everyone is for/against it, that doesn't mean I will base my decision solely on what y'all say here. I will take your opinions into account, obviously, but it will ultimately be my decision. I will probably go through with it, but again I would like to hear what y'all think first. (Random note: I used 'y'all' quite a bit in this blog post, didn't I?) -TNTOS-
  8. As I said a couple of entries earlier, here is a list of old ideas that were present in previous drafts of AUA but never made it into the final story. There is also some information here that is technically canon but never made it into the story due to my own forgetfulness . WARNING: There are MAJOR spoilers for An Unlikely Alliance here. If you have not read that epic yet, then I suggest that you do not read this. Or, first read AUA and then read this. Whatever you do, DON'T read this blog entry if you haven't read AUA, unless you like to have the biggest plot points of a story totally spoiled for you. So anyway, here we go: -The idea of dealing with the shadowed entity the Toa Shika faced in the first chapter was actually added very late in the writing of the epic. The first two drafts didn’t feature the shadowed entity, until I remembered he was still there and thus brought him back for the first chapter, just to deal with that particular loose end -Originally, there was no connection between Toa Oggakia and the Tuikas. The first explanation offered for the Tuikas – that they were Brotherhood of Makuta creations captured and hidden under Shika Nui by the Order of Mata Nui – was in fact going to be the final, definitely true explanation. There was going to be no Dividing or Oggak supposed to be a Sacrifice or any of that, but I added it in due to the fact that it made the epic all the more interesting in my opinion -There was also originally going to be a prologue that was essentially an info-dump, recounting the events of the last two epics. I dumped this when I realized it was a really boring and uninteresting way to start the last book in the series -Ramoth the Fryke was supposed to be an explanation for the dead dragon the Toa Shika found when exploring the underground tunnels of Shika Nui back in The Tales of Shika Nui. The idea was that Ramoth belonged to the same species as the dead dragon and that dead dragon had been placed in the tunnels to make sure no one woke the Tuikas before their time came. The dead dragon probably died in the Great Cataclysm, as the Toa Shika were the first visitors of that cave in 100,000 years. Didn’t really work out, though, since I couldn’t fit this explanation anywhere into the story -In the first and second drafts, Toa Barilo survived being possessed by Makuta Hajax. With aid from Toa Oggak Barilo would have defeated Hajax on his own and reclaimed his body. This I scrapped because the direction of the third draft made it clear Barilo was not going to survive -Also, Nastan died differently in previous drafts. In draft one, he was stabbed in the head by the Tuikas Skik, in draft two he was not killed, and in the final draft Hajax killed him. No particular reason for either of his deaths; that was simply how the story went -In reaction to Nastan’s first death, Toa Akuna would have effectively gone nova, killing Skik and forcing the rest of the Tuikas to retreat. I kept that part out of the story because Akuna does not seem like the Toa who would go nova due to loss of emotional control, even if it was because her boyfriend was murdered before her eyes -Also, Barilo and Akuna would have gotten together at the end of the first draft. I threw this idea out because, although I felt Barilo and Akuna might have had some feelings for each other, it would be extremely weird if Akuna forgot about Nastan and got together with Barilo all of a sudden. Plus the scene where they become a couple was pretty poorly written in the first place, giving me a bigger incentive to throw it out -When I first decided to give the Tuikas a back story tied to the Great Beings, I put in a flashback featuring Angonce and another, unnamed Great Being were discussing the Tuikas, the Mata Nui robot, and Oggak. This never made it in due to the confusing way in which I first put the flashback, which consisted of Hajax using his telepathy powers to access the oldest memories of the Tuikas Arija, which upon retrospect I realized didn’t make much sense -Toa Oggak’s Kanohi was, curiously enough, never mentioned even once in the final draft, despite the large role it played in the climax of the last two drafts. Her Kanohi mask was the Mask of Dreams, which allowed the user to force a being into a sleep and give them dreams or allow the user to delve into the dreams of an already sleeping person. This is still canon, despite never being mentioned or used within the story itself -The Mask of Dreams would have been used by Oggak to delve into Makuta Hajax’s mind to try to route him out and give Barilo dominion over his body again. This would have resulted in a battle between wills, which would have ended in Barilo realizing he was stronger than Hajax and defeating the Makuta with that knowledge -The Dark Hunter Raider was added halfway in the final draft in order to stir things up a bit, despite never appearing in earlier drafts -Kavi and Ramoth were also new additions to the third draft, although Ramoth himself would have appeared at some point, I am sure -Toa Addis, like Nastan, experienced different deaths in different drafts. In draft one he was one of the few Toa Shika who survived, while in draft two he would have gotten sliced in half by Makuta Hajax, who would have been in possession of Barilo’s body at the time. His final death fit the story the best, so I used that one -A bit of trivia: The only members of the Toa Shika who were never killed in any of the drafts are Toa Chimoy and Toa Akuna, who coincidentally ended up being the only members who survived by the end of the final draft of AUA -An Unlikely Alliance was originally going to be called Fear. Part of this is still found in the name of the Tuikas, which means ‘fear’ in Matoran. It was supposed to be a horror-based story rather than one about secrets and loyalty, as the story turned out. Since the story never ended up being particularly horrifying in even the earliest drafts, I decided to change the name at the suggestion of my older brother -There were originally going to be three Dark Hunter survivors acting as guards of Koro Nui. Besides Kigin and Death, Byki was going to be another one of the Hunters, but I cut him from the third draft because I felt he was too unnecessary and added nothing to the plot. Byki was also going to be shown to be something of a gentle giant and would have befriended the villagers Ferha and Dusa -Reesha, the Chronicler of Shika Nui, was originally going to be more like the character Luna Lovegood from Harry Potter. However, she did not get much development in the third draft, so she ended up acting differently than she did in previous drafts. Reesha was also going to be a Le-Matoran rather than a Ce-Matoran -Koro Nui was originally not going to be the Dark Hunters’ fortress. Instead, it would have been a normal Matoran village with high, thick walls surrounding the huts. The fortress was going to be in ruins and visited only once during the whole story -Also, Jokao and Oggak saved the Toa Shika from the Tuikas in the previous two drafts, rather than from the shadowed entity. The reason for this change is because of the alteration of the location of Koro Nui, but I think it worked better that way IMO -Some of the Tuikas’ names changed, too. For example, Arija was going to be called “Omkil” -No one seemed to notice, but a lot of the Tuikas’ names were very different from the norm (Skik is a prime example). The point is I tried to make those names as different as possible from normal BIONICLE names to emphasize the differentness of the Tuikas -The epilogue was going to end differently. Originally, Raider would have heard a voice laughing in his head, but dismiss it as his imagination. In reality, it would have been Makuta Hajax, who had once again split his soul and placed it inside Raider’s mind so he could take it over. Dropped this idea because I felt Hajax had already had a good run in The Tales of Shika Nui and An Unlikely Alliance and bringing him back one more time would just be repetitive, especially since everyone else is still dead -Addis getting a new mask before his death was not planned, either. Nor did I consider it symbolic that he died shortly after getting the Mask of Reanimation, although I suppose that is an interesting way to look at it -The Po-Matoran doctor Telka played a bigger role in earlier drafts. In fact, I believe that in one draft he actually accompanied the Toa Shika to their final showdown with the Tuikas. His character would have been an eccentric doctor who did not seem to understand what the term ‘personal space’ means -Ferha and Dusa would have been somewhat more important, too. Dusa was supposed to get killed when the Tuikas first attacked and be buried by Dusa and Ferha around the same time as Addis’ burial. I forgot to add Dusa died in third draft, but since I technically didn’t write it I don’t consider it canon. That’s good, because I do have some possible future ideas involving Dusa and Ferha. Ferha’s importance was much larger in earlier drafts. In draft two, she joined the Toa Shika and Dark Hunters to their final showdown with the Tuikas, where she would have been unfortunately killed in battle by Hajax -The Matoran in general were supposed to play a larger role than they ended up doing. However, I may end up writing a future story starring some of the Matoran who appeared in AUA, but we’ll see about that, since Dimension Hoppers will probably be my last full-length BIONICLE epic in the foreseeable future -Also, the final battle in the climax took place in the ruins of Kra-Koro during the first two drafts, rather than in Ironos as it ended up being -Akuna would have been kidnapped by Icetraz and then kidnapped by the Tuikas, who were going to use her rather than Oggak as the Sacrifice. This would have prompted the rest of the Toa Shika and Dark Hunters to head for the Tuikas’ main base in Kra-Koro. Left this out because only Oggak can be used as the Sacrifice, not just any old Toa and the Tuikas of all people would know that -Icetraz’s death was different from the final draft. Originally he would have been pushed off a cliff by one of the Tuikas and fall to his death, whereas in the final draft he was killed by Raider -Also, the Tuikas would have gotten much closer to activating the Dividing than they did in the final draft. In fact, in the second draft Zoil had been only one step away from sacrificing Akuna before Barilo/Hajax appeared and stopped him -All of the Tuikas’ deaths changed between drafts, but I can’t remember any in particular besides Skik’s original death -Death would have explained his origin and reasons for joining the Dark Hunters to Akuna at some point, but I cut this out of the final draft because it was just too much unnecessary info-dumping. Thus, Death only reveals bits and pieces of his past through dialogue and I am contemplating whether to write a short story explaining his past or perhaps somehow work it into Dimension Hoppers, if possible -When I first began writing the Shika Trilogy, I had very different ideas for how the entire trilogy would have turned out. In the original, pre-writing phase I had not come up with the Shodios or Tuikas, for one, nor did I ever conceive of Oggak or other characters like her until the actual writing process. An Unlikely Alliance, for example, would have built on the original plot for Tapestry of Evil, which was originally going to feature two Were-Toa (yes, like werewolves) that would have tried to join the Toa Shika but had secret plans of their own for Shika Nui. In the original AUA, the island of Shika Nui would have been environmentally ruined by the battle between the Toa Shika and Were-Toa of the last epic. So the Toa Shika would have gathered up all of the Matoran of Shika Nui and headed south in search of a new island to call home. Unknown to them, however, they were being followed by generals of the Brotherhood of Makuta, who sought to use the Matoran of Shika Nui for their own plans. (This version of the story was never actually written, BTW.) Not sure how that would have turned out, but as anyone who has read even the first few chapters of AUA can attest, few if any of the ideas presented in the above paragraph actually made it into the final draft. - This list isn't necessarily complete, but it does contains the majority of major unused or scrapped ideas featured in previous drafts. Some of the unused ideas were cool, I guess, or could have been cool, but to be honest I am happier with how the final draft turned out than the last two drafts. Next week will be a preview of Dimension Hoppers, so see you then! -TNTOS-
  9. So today I finally put up the epilogue of An Unlikely Alliance, officially wrapping up the Shika Trilogy and setting up Dimension Hoppers. In this chapter, after the recent events on Shika Nui, the Dark Hunter Raider arrives on the island of Stelt to answer a mysterious summons. Will he be prepared for his new mission? And just what is really happening on the island of Tanjo Nui anyway? - So the Shika Trilogy - my fanfic project that's been going on for a little over two years now - is finally over. Expect to see a "What Could Have Been" for AUA sometime in the next few weeks, featuring old and scrapped ideas that could have made it into AUA, but were ultimately cut from the final draft. Might do a retrospective on the whole Shika Trilogy, too. Also, I will be posting a preview for Dimension Hoppers soon, but don't expect the actual epic until early 2011 at the earliest. Now excuse me while I get my lazy butt back to my NaNonovel. See ya later. -TNTOS-
  10. So today I posted the denouement (I keep using this term 'cause it sounds fancy) of An Unlikely Alliance, Chapter 30. Here's a brief summary of it (as non-spoilerific as possible): In this chapter, Toa Akuna reflects on what has happened since the defeat of the Tuikas a week ago. She also has a discussion with Turaga Joha about the trustworthiness of the Dark Hunters and Toa Oggakia. Bland summary, I know, but like I said I tried to keep it as nonspoilerific as possible and this was the best I could come up with. Now you think the story's over, don't you? Well, not quiet yet, because next week I will be posting the epilogue, which as I have said before will feature a character who has been absent for several chapters and will give a little bit of a preview of the plot of Dimension Hoppers, which will be coming out early next year if all goes as planned. -TNTOS-
  11. Today I posted Chapter 29, which I consider to be the climax of An Unlikely Alliance. Because I do not want to spoil much, this summary shall be slightly shorter and more vague than it usually is. In this chapter, the epic finale to An Unlikely Alliance finally reaches its conclusion. Will Makuta Hajax destroy Toa Jokao and Oggak? Do the two badly injured Toa stand a chance against the Makuta or is all hope for the universe lost? - Chapter 30 will be the denouement and then, after that, will be the epilogue, which will deal with a character who has been absent from the last few chapters. Only two weeks until the Shika Trilogy is over and done with. Expect to see Dimension Hoppers starting up early next year, although that all depends on when I finish the editing. -TNTOS-
  12. Posted the newest chapter of AUA today. Will you read it, please? In this chapter, the battle on the surface reaches its tragic conclusion, while below Zoil and Jokao finally find Hajax and Oggak, which erupts into an all-out battle between Zoil and Hajax over Oggak. Who will win and who will die? Only two more chapters plus the epilogue left. Chapter 29 will be the climax of the story and Chapter 30 and the epilogue will wrap up the Shika Trilogy while setting up Dimension Hoppers (at least the epilogue will anyway). -TNTOS-
  13. I have nothing to say, so I shall say nothing. In this chapter, while the battle between the heroes of Shika Nui and the Tuikas rages above, the Tuikas named Zoil searches the mines for Makuta Hajax and Toa Oggak. Toa Jokao attempts to follow him, but is discovered and forced to follow Zoil through an alternate route. Who will reach Oggak first: Zoil or Jokao? Three more chapters left, not counting the epilogue. The finale of the Shika Trilogy is almost here. I can almost taste it because it's so close. -TNTOS-
  14. Forgot to post this notice earlier, but here it is for all to see: In this chapter, Makuta Hajax attempts to kill the Matoran Kavi, but is stopped by a now-conscious Oggak, who challenges Hajax to a fight after refusing his offer to make an alliance. Who will win and who will die? Only four more chapters and the epilogue to go. The end is nearly here . . . -TNTOS-
  15. Go read Chapter 25 (which I just posted today, incidentally) if you want the full version. Here's an abridged version of an already shorter-than-usual chapter: In this chapter, Toa Chimoy and the Dark Hunter codenamed Death team up to defeat the two Tuikas, Skik and Koya. The battle tips in the favor of the Tuikas, however, when Skik separates Death from Chimoy. Will Chimnoy rescue Death or will both of them end up dying horrible deaths? - We are now on the last five chapters of An Unlikely Alliance. That means there are only five weeks left until the dramatic finale of the Shika Trilogy. Only one side will win the final battle, and whoever wins will decide the fate of the universe itself. -TNTOS-
  16. 'K, just posted Chapter 24, although I know only a few people will read it. Whatever. I'm not posting this stuff solely for reviews anyhow. In this chapter, Makuta Hajax has fled underground with the Tuikas Zoil and Toa Jokao hot on his tail. Meanwhile, back on the surface, the battle between the Tuikas and Toa rages on in the ruins of Ironos. Who will win and who will fall? -TNTOS-
  17. Today's a new chapter for my epic, so either go read it or read this summary. Whatever works for you. In this chapter, the Toa Shika, Jokao, and Kigin set out from Koro Nui to find and rescue Oggak. Meanwhile, Hajax finally finds the Tuikas and attempts to make a deal with them when suddenly the previously mentioned heroes arrive. The final battle - not only for Shika Nui, but for the universe as well - is about to begin, and only one side can emerge triumphant. -TNTOS-
  18. I'm really trying to get creative with these blog entry titles, aren't I? In this chapter, Jokao and the others in Koro Nui decide to search for Hajax and Oggak. Meanwhile, Nastan and Death's situation just went from bad to worse, for the Tuikas have appeared and are ready to fight. Will the unlikely duo survive their encounter with the Tuikas when the Dark Hunter Raider is also aiming to kill them? -TNTOS-
  19. Shoot me if I didn't post a blog entry between this update and the last. Not my problem. In this chapter, Nastan and Death are still fighting Icetraz, when Raider decides to finally act. But when he notices the Tuikas flying high above, he decides to finish them instead. Will he slay the Tuikas or only end up making things worse? Find out in Chapter 21: Target Locked! - Also, on a completely unrelated note, please read and vote in this poll. I will be very happy if you do. -TNTOS-
  20. Posted the 20th chapter of An Unlikely Alliance today. That means there are only ten chapters left. Getting closer and closer to the ending of the Shika Trilogy, it looks like. In this chapter, Hajax, having been defeated and knocked unconscious earlier by Oggak, awakens in the jail cells of Koro Nui only to discover that he is bound in heavy metal chains. He also finds that Turaga Joha, the Toa Shika, Oggak, Jokao, and the Dark Hunter Kigin have all gathered down here to determine whether he really is Hajax, as Oggak claims he is. Hajax at first plays stupid, then reveals himself as Hajax, reveals the true origin of Oggak and the Tuikas, then defeats Chimoy and Kigin and teleports away with Oggak as his captive. He no longer has to pretend to be Barilo anymore and decides to initiate his plan to put the Tuikas under his control. -TNTOS-
  21. Sorry for the delay of this blog update. BZP's been slow for me for the last few days, so I haven't been on very much. In this chapter, Death and Nastan, while searching for Matoran survivors in the ruins of Ironos, encounter the ex-leader of the Dark Hunters of Shika Nui, Icetraz, whom everyone thought was dead. Apparently insane, Icetraz attacks Death and Nastan, forcing the two to defeat the Dark Hunter or die. Meanwhile, Raider watches the battle from a safe distance and decides to let Death and Nastan weaken Icetraz for him before he strikes. -TNTOS-
  22. Posted Chapter 18 of An Unlikely Alliance today. Go read it . In this chapter, Makuta Hajax is still attempting to learn the secrets of the Tuikas, but has had no time to interrogate Oggak about it during the week. However, when the Toa of Shadow comes to him to confess something to him, Hajax may end up learning what he needs to know after all. And it may be nothing like he expected it to be. -TNTOS-
  23. Yesterday, I did manage to post the seventeenth chapter of AUA before the forum downtime, but I didn't get to do a "Monday AUA Updates" entry like I usually do. So I'm making up for it by doing it today. In this chapter, a week has gone by without any Tuikas attacks, leading Turaga Joha to believe it might be safe for another rescue expedition to find any Matoran survivors. The Dark Hunter Death - also known as Igici - and Toa Nastan are sent on this expedition together, a pairing neither of them are particularly happy about. As they head for the abandoned village of Ironos, neither realize that they are being followed by Raider, who is determined to find out exactly what happened on Shika Nui and is willing to do anything to learn that information. -TNTOS-
  24. So today I posted the sixteenth chapter of An Unlikely Alliance. Go read it . In this chapter, a Dark Hunter known as Raider is sent to the island of Shika Nui to discover the reason why there has been no contact with that island in weeks. Although he plans to do whatever is necessary to keep that island under the Dark Hunters' control, he does not realize that he is about to become tangled in a battle that will not only decide the fate of Shika Nui, but the fate of the universe itself as well. -TNTOS-
  25. So we're back to our regularly scheduled installments of An Unlikely Alliance with the fifteenth chapter of that epic: In this chapter, Hajax, Jokao, and Oggak finally make it back to Koro Nui, where Jokao is rushed into the fortress to heal up. Meanwhile, Oggak and Hajax (who is still pretending to be Barilo) inform the rest of Koro Nui's guardians about what they had encountered beneath Shika Nui. Oggak and Hajax also learn of Addis' death, which worries Oggak, although Hajax acts largely indifferent to it. That night, Nastan, Akuna, and Chimoy are in discussion about the Tuikas, Oggak, and other things, while Hajax sleeps. Chimoy decides to go to sleep, too, leaving Nastan and Akuna the only two awake. Akuna then gets annoyed by Nastan's apparent obsession with Oggak, which sparks an argument between the two that abruptly ends when Hajax awakes and threatens to stick both of them to the ceiling if they don't shut up. So Nastan and Akuna decide that they themselves ought to go asleep as well, which they do. - We're now at the halfway point, folks. Next chapter will introduce a new character and kick off the events that will lead to the dramatic climax of not only this epic, but the Shika Trilogy as a whole. Be there next Monday for Chapter 16: A Visitor. -TNTOS-
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