Search the Community
Showing results for tags 'chrysalis saga'.
-
I'm thrilled to return to the Epics library with a new story. This has been written over the past year and half, and is the first of a three-book series I wish to bring to BZPower. Pronunciations Please enjoy.
-
Part One of the Chrysalis Saga A new story by Takuta-Nui Chapter 1 Vyroko woke up in the sand and saw the sea being laid down upon the land like a blanket. He stared as the vast sheet of water hung in the sky like a cloth. Sections here and there dropped down with tremendous splashes. In seconds the entire sea had returned to its place. The sea was still rocking as it settled, and a wave reared up toward the beach Vyroko was laying on. He jumped up and backed away. He thought he saw a shape in the water, but had to shield his face as he got sprayed by the impact. There was a shape - it hit the sand and bounced out of the water onto the drier part of the beach. It was a humanoid being like him, but seemed to be covered in a complex full-body armour coloured light and dark blue. It came to an unceremonious rest in the sand. “That was strange,” she blurted, sitting up. Vyroko ran over. “Are you all right?” “Yes, I think so.” She was standing up already. Her eyes were wide and fixed on the sea. She hadn’t looked at him yet. Vyroko looked between the her and the still-settling ocean. “Did you do that?” he asked. That made her look at him. “Of course not! Where are we, anyway?” She turned around and looked at the jungle that Vyroko hadn’t even noticed until now. They were standing on a wide beach bordered by water on one side and a wall of jungle-like foliage on the other. That was, foliage that was still being restored along with the sea. The leafy bushes and trees weren’t falling from the sky like the ocean had, but as Vyroko watched, the uniformly grey jungle faded into brilliant tropical colour. Dark greens became apparent first, and then the lighter green of grasses. Then the flowers showed themselves, having always been open but somehow robbed of their colour. Vyroko realized that the sand had also been a bland grey and just now had regained the speckled pattern of many browns and gold-yellows. Or perhaps the colour wasn’t being returned. Perhaps it was being added to the world for the first time. Within moments, the jungle was truly a jungle again. “What is going on here?” the blue one wondered. She looked back to him and blinked. “Sorry. My name is Nela.” “Vyroko,” he greeted. They looked around for a moment. It looked like an island they were on. Without speaking, they started walking down the beach. *** BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ Nehara raced madly through the forest. An angry buzz filled the air. Drilled into her skull. It was like the trees themselves were humming. Deep, full, dangerous. She ran full speed past leafy branches. Leapt over small bushes. So fast that the fallen leaves ahead of her seemed to fly to the sides. Nehara didn’t care how much it hurt to be running this fast for so long. It was better than being caught. She hurtled through a particularly thick grove. Branches snapped painfully against her protective arms. She was broad-shouldered with thick black armour, so she could handle it. Her lithe legs gave her balance while her torso let her barrel through minor obstacles. One odd thing she had noticed already. This forest was somehow completely new. There were no scars or splits in the trees she saw. No fallen twigs. The leaves on the ground were still completely green and crisp. As if the forest had sprung up yesterday. Maybe even today. BZZZZZZZZZZZZZ She didn’t remember how she got here. All she knew was that she woke up on the immaculate forest floor, heard that unmistakable buzzing, and started running. The trees thinned out. She kept running. More light coming from ahead and above. Going so fast that she burst out of the forest and almost ran straight into the sea. But water wouldn’t have worked against them. They could swim. Horrid little adaptive things. Instead, Nehara turned a sharp right. Felt her ankle shudder. It would hurt later. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ Kept running along the beach. Sand was slowing her down. Moved sideways into the wetter sand. It was flatter, more packed down. Started going a bit faster. They weren’t giving up even after leaving their home. Perhaps this entire place - was it an island? - was their home. Nehara just kept running. Hoping for something to show itself, something she could use to defend or attack with. Beach curved. Forest on her right morphed into jungle. Very abrupt transition. Another odd thing about this place. Running. It hurt so much now. Burning lungs. Protesting legs. Screaming ankle. Even her arms and neck were hurting now. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ They were catching up. Red and blue. Full-body armour that seemed to be fitted so perfectly that it was part of their bodies, just like Nehara. But they were smaller, slimmer, still powerful-looking. Toa. Nehara was almost past them already. They had been walking her way and barely had time to react to her sudden appearance from around the tight curve of the beach. Red! “FIRE!” She screamed at him as she charged past. He flinched. Instinctively raised his hand, stopped for a split second in sheer confusion, then pointed his palm past her. Whoosh. The air rippled. Nehara felt a blast of heat sweep across her back. She didn’t dare stop running completely, but she looked behind. A cloud of fire bloomed across the beach, throwing both Toa into silhouette. The blue Toa half-crouched and backed away. In the fiery cloud, thousands of little black dots. The dots dissolved in the midair blaze. In seconds they were all gone. The buzzing stopped. The proven Toa of Fire let his hand fall to his side. Air cooled. Nehara collapsed into the shallows. Cool water. Sea wind. A luxury experience after that ordeal. “Are you all right?” Female voice. Probably the blue Toa. Nehara didn’t raise her head or open her eyes. Just kept her neck angled enough to breathe and speak above the water. “Yes.” A pause. “Nehara.” “I’m Nela. And my friend who saved you is Vyroko.” “Thank you.” “What were those things?” “Wasps.” “Oh.” Nehara could tell from her voice that Nela understood immediately. Nehara had woken to that buzzing, which had unlocked a certain knowledge right away. She was a Vortixx, a species of strength and endurance with few weaknesses. The buzzing was not the weakness - it was what the buzzing portended. Vortixx had a deathly fear of stingers. The long thin tendrils that hung from the back of the Vortixx’s head were sensitive to the point that any kind of impact could be exceedingly painful. Stings, even just a few, would be agony. That was why Vortixx often decorated their tendrils with rings of metal as protection. It also served to transform them into distinctive headdresses, but Nehara had woken with only her bare tendrils. That, and a swarm of Bibaka wasps? Nehara thought it was a wonder her instincts hadn’t driven her to drown herself when she found the sea. The Vortixx laid in the shallows for a few more moments before sitting up. The Toa of Water gasped. “Oh dear.” “What?” Nehara looked around her, and saw it immediately. A piece of her armour was hanging loose at an alarming angle from the middle of her chest. How had it broken like that? She fingered it gingerly. No pain. It swung slightly at her touch as if it was attached to her chest with a hinge. Something didn’t feel right. This didn’t feel like an injury. The shape was very clean-cut. Looked designed that way. She touched it again, and swung it back toward her chest. It joined with the rest of her armour and was gone. Not even a line around the edges. “That’s interesting,” she heard the Toa of Fire say. Intrigued, Nehara touched the left side of her chest, where the piece had been. Nothing. Paused. Tried again, this time with two fingers. Tapped. The square plate swung open again, just as suddenly there as it was not a moment ago. Nela crouched down in front of Nehara and pointed. “There’s a little space inside, a hollow.” “I don’t have one,” Vyroko said. Nela checked herself. “Neither do I. Looks like it’s just you, Nehara.” Nehara felt uncomfortable and closed her chest plate again and looked around the beach. “Is this an island?” Nehara asked them. “We think so,” Nela replied, closing up her chest. “I can faintly sense the shape of the water around this land. It seems to be an island, but I can’t quite feel the other side. Perhaps a large peninsula.” “Did you see anything... unusual about this place?” Vyroko asked Nehara. “Besides myself?” Vyroko tilted his head uncertainly. Nehara went on. “I just woke up here. I don’t know where I am. I don’t belong here. Do you--?” She stopped abruptly and bolted upright, jumping away from her spot. The Toa flinched. It wasn’t a wasp. But it had felt like a sting. A sting in her mind. “Are you all right?” Nela asked again. Nehara snapped her head toward her. “Yes!” Nela looked hurt at the sharp tone, but Nehara was too interested in what had just happened to immediately apologize. A sting in the mind? She knelt again and looked carefully at the submerged sand where she had been laying. Something glinted. Metal. Nehara reached out and gingerly brushed away more sand. Definitely an object. “Looks like you found something,” Vyroko remarked. Nehara touched it again. Sting in the mind. This time, she was expecting it so she didn’t jump. But it was still a deeply startling sensation. And she noticed something else when it happened. Something in her vision changed, like a brief flash of black, as if she had been looking at a bright light and it had burned a spot in her eyes just for a second. She scooped it out of the sand. It was disappointing. A shard of black metal smaller than her hand. No features, no markings. Nehara tilted her head. Looked back at Vyroko. “What did you ask me?” “Uh... whether you had noticed anything unusual about this place.” Nehara stared at him intently. “By asking that, do you mean you’ve already seen something?” Vyroko and Nela looked at each other, then nodded at her. They described how they had woken up - Vyroko in the sand, Nela in the ocean - and what they had seen. The sea falling back to the land, the forest’s colour sweeping back into existence. “Very unusual,” Nehara said quietly. She looked back at the metal shard in her hand. Rubbed a finger along the sharp edges. It was the same shade of black as her own armour, but shinier. The strange sensation was still in her head, but more muted. Her mind had become accustomed to it already, but she didn’t even know what it was. It felt like… communication. Something talking to her in a gracious but alien language. Despite the strangeness that entered her mind, Nehara smiled. Something made sense here, finally. Out of that sensation she had gleaned a small meaning. An intent. She tapped her chest and opened it again. Then, with one more glance at the black shard to remember what it looked like, she placed it inside. It was odd, feeling a new weight inside her body. But then she closed it and the mind-sting stopped. The black shard belonged in her chest chamber. Looking up, she realized the two Toa were staring at her, mystified. What could she say? Looked over their heads. “Did you notice the mountain yet?” They blinked for a moment before turning around. Rising above the jungle was a rocky crag. The slope meandered up toward a peak, making it look easy to climb. Much of the mountain was shrouded in thin fog. “That wasn’t there before...” Nela said uncertainly. “We were pretty focused on the beach,” Vyroko added. “But at this point, I wouldn’t be surprised if a mountain did spring up just now.” “So where should we go next? There might be others on this island,” Nehara said. Nela looked uneasy. “Maybe. But look at it this way... so far, we’ve been lucky to meet friends and not foes.” That brought some silence to the three. They didn’t look at each other, but everyone knew they were realizing the fact that they really didn’t know each other. Names were as far as they’d gotten. Nehara knew that Vyroko might have saved her from the Bibaka wasps only so he could learn more from her and eventually use her, if he was the bad guy. She also knew that the Toa would be wondering if the Bibaka wasps had been a cover, to gain their trust. What better way than to appear in trouble and be saved? Perhaps Nela had fabricated the falling sea and carried herself through it, so it would look to Vyroko like she had also been helpless. All conjecture. Nehara shook her head. Nothing was certain yet. “We can keep an eye on the mountain,” she said. “Let’s keep walking the way I came from. See if we can figure out whether this is really an island. And maybe find out how we got here.” Both Toa nodded in agreement and they started walking further along the beach. *** On the other side of the island, Jehui considered what he had just seen. He looked away and out across the still-turbulent sea. Then he looked back in the direction where the two Toa and one Vortixx were. Raised one hand to his other. With two fingers, grasped a ring on his left hand’s pointing finger. Twisted. His mask glowed faintly - he could tell because his eyeholes glowed. His vision stretched. Sped over a green canopy. Coasted upward, swerving past the mountain that had just appeared. Dipped back down with the incline of the island. Arrived at the other side. Altogether, two hours of journey covered in seconds. The three strangers were still walking in a line along the beach. Jehui wasn’t fully accustomed to this power, but there was no harm in experimenting. There was no way they could know he was watching. Shifted his vision to the side, so that it looked like they were walking toward him. Zoomed in a little. Managed to stop just before going past the Toa of Water. The Toa of Water had light and dark blue armour. Jehui knew he looked the same way, except that he was half the height of the Toa and had grey and silver armour. What they held in common was how curiously perfect their armour was. No skin was exposed. To him, it felt like he was the armour. Setting aside those bizarre thoughts, he studied the Toa. Her armour was more warrior-like than his with cobalt overlays on her arms, chest, and legs. She wore a mask that Jehui instinctively recognized as a Mask of Possibilities - blue with thick silver ‘eyebrows’ above her eyeholes and a silver diamond-like outline on her forehead. He studied the Toa’s eyes. They were steady but very alert, almost scared. Jehui didn’t blame her. He had been scared too when he woke up right next to the edge of the cliff. Nothing but watery noise as the sea crashed down, and then he had rolled away only to see a grey jungle being coloured in. This was a strange island they were on. And from the look of the Toa’s eyes, she didn’t know much more than he did. The first time he had watched them - accidentally discovering his mask’s power of sight by turning the ring he found on his finger and racing across the island before he brought it under control - he hadn’t gotten close enough to see their expressions. Only witnessed Nehara bursting out of the forest, the burning of the wasp swarm, and the resulting conversation that had gone silently before his eyes. Jehui couldn’t read lips. Now that he was more used to his mask power, he delicately shifted his vision to the left to look at the Toa of Fire. This one was clearly characteristic of his element - focused, almost angry. But clearly calm. The Toa’s armour had some dark orange, with thick overlays similar to the Toa of Water’s on his arms, legs, and chest. Jehui mentally flinched. This one’s primary colour was red, but not any red. Piercingly blood red. He didn’t know why he knew, but no Toa would ever wear such a colour. It was more becoming of a Makuta. Jehui didn’t know what a Makuta was either. These were instinctive thoughts rising out of his still-waking mind. For the first time, Jehui really realized something. He, and these other three, had awoken on this island with no memory of who they were besides their names. No history, no experienced knowledge. Just these facts that seemed as self-evident as the grey colour of the sky. He stopped mid-thought. Looked up. Everything had colour except the sky. Jehui didn’t understand why, but he sensed this was very wrong. It wasn’t cloud cover - the sky was literally featureless except for the sun. This mental distraction lasted too long for his mask power to continue, and he felt his intangible spirit be pulled back into his body like a rubber band snapping. Jehui fell to the ground. Looked up again. A new sensation crept up on him… like he was being watched. Where could he hide from those invisible eyes? The forest. Jehui hesitated, but the feeling of being tiny underneath an immense grey gaze pushed him forth into the greenery. Review
-
It's here - finally! I feel so weird having just posted the first chapter. Also a little bit of a delightful risk, as I haven't finished revising, but I wanted to stay true to a December launch. Consider it a holiday gift - if you like my story, that is. It's also deeply satisfying knowing that, at last, people will be able to read the entirety of my work from the past year and half. Unlike before, I am not so worried about feedback and constructive criticism. I do value it when it is offered, of course, but I was still growing in huge leaps when I was regularly writing during BIONICLE's original run, so I needed it even more then. Now, I care more about having people enjoy my story and discovering the delights within. That's why this is a no-pressure review story. Of course, some will want to theorize or comment or ask questions, so there is a review topic. I'm not even sure if we're allowed to NOT have a review topic. I'll also be creating a PDF of the final draft for sending to friends and family - if you would like a copy, just let me know. I believe that's all for now. This blog will be a little less active as I focus on building up the review topic, but I will still use this for broader updates on the Saga as a whole, and the progress of the next book. Thank you for reading!
-
On December 1, I'll be posting the first chapter of A Play of Light. I've finished revising the first half of the book, and this probably was the harder half as I wrote it longer ago when I was still piecing together the story. Had to rewrite and tighten up a few parts, but otherwise it's looking like a solid submission for your reading pleasure. I hope you enjoy.
- 1 comment
-
- 1
-
- chrysalis saga
- epic
-
(and 1 more)
Tagged with:
-
As you can see, I have updated my signature with a custom link banner for this blog. Everyone is free to use this if they wish to advertise the blog and the Chrysalis Saga. Minor updates: due to the database deletion, I had to go and re-delete all my old entries. That's been completed. I continue making progress on the first episode, but work and school is definitely slowing me down as it means I pull at least two 16-hour days a week. Gets a bit tough if I also work for a few days after one of those days, and then the next week comes around and it starts all over again. The good thing is that I keep getting inspired moments and I'll throw aside my homework to write a few pages, or just tap away on my iPhone while I'm riding the train. The momentum is there and I'm not having too much trouble maintaining it, so I think that's a good sign that I'm genuinely enjoying this, and I hope that shows when you get to read it. Also, I'm considering creating a Tumblr blog as well to post the story itself, so it reaches a broader audience. I once tried to start a blog there but got overwhelmed by the options, so I'll have to make sure I have a day by myself to go through everything and do it right.
-
[This is being reposted due to the database backup. Thanks, Google Cache! Unfortunately, the cache only had the first person's comment, so I'm going to post that below as well to save them the trouble. If you want to repost your comment, please go right ahead! But I more or less remember what you've said, so no serious need. Let's start pulling ourselves together again!] Original post: I've returned with a new story. I call it the Chrysalis Saga, and a few of you might have seen the quiet advertisement in my signature for a while now. I haven't been very active on these forums for a few years, so I realize it will be challenging getting a readership and feedback on my story. But like before with my This World series and later the broader Absolutity collection, I intend to write and post the best stories that I'm capable of. Reviews, while important and deeply appreciated, are not expected or required. Still, it is nice knowing that someone's reading and enjoying. So I thought I would reboot my blog and give it a new theme, mainly centred on the Chrysalis Saga but probably including other things. I haven't decided yet if I will delete all the old entries, as they're not relevant and I don't want to confuse any newcomers to the blog. Not sure about that yet, though. Here's a summary and a to-do list that I'm focused on right now: Status of the Saga The first epic is not yet fully written, but in good progress. The length is not quite determined, but I know it will be at least twenty chapters of about 10 pages each. I'm willing to predict thirty chapters or more, though. And by "good progress," I mean I'm writing it regularly, two or three times a week. The name of the first epic is "The Play of Light." The Saga has been in the works for over a year. I first got the idea for what I wanted to centre a story around way back in 2011, and it only started to take on real form (that is, the chrysalis began to spin!) in spring 2012. I started an actual outline that summer, which I have added to and expanded for the past year into a master document of the ideas, plots, characters, themes, and so forth. It is not at all a definitive plan of what I will write - I leave that up to the magic of the writing process - but it is a guideline for the overall impression I want to leave the reader with. Not giving a date for when this will start being posted yet. But the fact that I've rebooted my blog means it's closer than when I wasn't blogging. 2013 Goals Signature banners, one for this blog and one for the epic once it's up. I need a proper image and caption, so I'll be looking around the internet for something that I feel suits each. I'm sure once I find them, it'll only take me half an hour to slap them together in Pages and upload. Establish the look of this blog. Decide whether I should delete the pre-Chrysalis entries. Start reading & reviewing a few other writers' work. Although I love bonesiii's Paracosmos and made time for it during full time university, I realize I need to broaden my horizons and rebuild my connections in the writing community on BZP. The above means that I want your stories! If you have an ongoing story, or a story written by someone that you think I'd love (and is being posted on the BZP forums), please send it to me! Other Notes I'm no longer a Staff member (well, I'm in a weird limbo group between the regular membership and Staff, apparently, lol. But it hasn't manifested itself in any obligations, so I'm fine with that). This means I don't have those extra BZP duties that I did before, which I honestly think is great, as I can focus completely on the epics and short stories communities. I also need to set BZP as my front page so I see it every time I visit the internet. I also no longer am part of the team managing the Expanded Multiverse. I talked with bones about this a long time ago and let him know that I couldn't spend the time on that project anymore. It still saddens me, and part of me wants to get back in, but I won't do that until I'm absolutely sure I can commit long-term. As a matter of fact, I need to find out what's going on with the EM canon right now, and catch up if there's been anything happening since I stopped my BZP activity. I'm still in university, but part time. 1 class per term, this fall and next winter. So far, I've had a lot of leisure time outside of the one class, so I'll just have to re-teach myself to spend that time on BZP more than other things. Re-integrate into my daily routine, basically. I'm working full time with Apple Inc. That's a solid 40 hours a week, but again, I have a lot of leisure time outside of this, and I've felt so much freedom this year for writing this story. That should only improve once I finish the winter semester course. I'll stop there now. That's my update. Please consider this my humble "Hey, I'm back" entry. Thanks for reading! (Credit for image goes to Naomi Bardoff, an artist and blogger I've followed recently. Will add link once I've determined it's an appropriate link for BZP.)
- 1 comment
-
- chrysalis saga
- reboot
-
(and 1 more)
Tagged with: