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  1. After a day spent chasing Tava away from all of the pies, I finally found time to get back to BZPower! As promised, here's the first new installment in quite some time of the Lewa# Studios Holiday Series. This is the "sequel" of sorts to the original Thanksgiving special, which has sadly been lost to the archives. Enjoy, and Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Another Metru Nui Thanksgiving Part of the Lewa# Studios Holiday Series Chapter 1 of 1: Turaga Always Have Terrible Ideas A year had passed since the disastrous attempt by Turaga Dume to have the population of Metru Nui celebrate Thanksgiving. Dume, along with the other six Turaga (and the ghost of Turaga Lhikan for some random reason), were sitting around Vakama's firestaff warming themselves in the Turaga Lounge on the top floor of the Coliseum. Vakama was ironing his dentures as usual, and the others were sharing long-winded, pointless stories about the past. "And then, after the mines collapsed," Whenua was reminiscing, "we had to dig our way out both ways, uphill, through seven feet of snow! Wouldn't you know it, a Rahi was sitting on my head the entire time too! Then, we..." Whenua trailed off and fell asleep with a snore. The others looked at each other blankly. "Well, now what?" asked Nokama. "Oh, come off it! We have plenty to do today!" Dume told the others. "You young whippersnappers don't understand the importance of things in this day and age! Why, when I was your age..." "Who are you calling 'young?'" asked Onewa. "And today is just like every other day, except that I'm here, since being dead has been so boring lately," Turaga Lhikan's ghost said. "What do you possibly mean, Dume?" "I mean that one year ago today, I declared a new holiday on Metru Nui: Thanksgiving!" " " emoticonned all of the other Turaga except for Whenua, who was still asleep. "The last thing any of us want to remember is that catastrophe of a day," Matau put in. "Now, my idea of declaring June 17th International Matau Day was much better!" Nokama bopped him over the head with her trident. Dume shook his head. "It was only a catastrophe because of Takanuva. Not to mention hosting it in the Coliseum with the entire population of Metru Nui was probably a bad idea. This time, I plan to invite only select guests, and I've already booked Thanksgiving dinner at a very recommended location!" "Where, Dume?" asked Lhikan's ghost. "This hotel near the Moto-Hub. What was it called again? 'The Noto Inn?' No...'The Natu Inn?'" "It wasn't The Nuva Inn, was it?" asked Onewa. "Yes, that's it! The Nuva Inn! Lewa Nuva highly recommended it to me!" All of the other Turaga groaned. "This is just another disaster waiting to happen," muttered Nokama. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Toa Mahri Jaller was busily pacing back and forth in front of the entrance to Ta-Metru when Turaga Vakama walked toward him. "Halt!" Jaller demanded. "I need to see your identification." "You don't need to see my identification," said Vakama kenobishly, waving his firestaff in front of Jaller. "What are you, a Jedi? And 'Kenobishly' isn't a word!" "It was worth a try, I suppose. Anyway, I've been trying to find you everywhere, Jaller! What are you doing pacing back and forth in front of this random entrance for absolutely no reason?" Jaller shrugged. "Guarding," he responded. "Although, admittedly, there isn't much to guard here. It's not as if we get random Rahi attacks periodically here in Metru Nui like we did in Mata Nui..." "Have you ever thought about taking up another profession?" "Like what?" "Like...erm...oh, never mind. I came here to give you this note from Turaga Dume." Vakama handed Jaller the rather large tablet. Jaller read the inscription. "An invite to another Thanksgiving feast? Why in Mata Nui's name would I want to go to another one of those? Remember how well the last one went?" Vakama sighed. "Unfortunately, I do remember, all too well. Regardless, Dume's only inviting a select group of people, so you really ought to attend." With that, Vakama shuffled away somewhere. Jaller looked over the tablet again, pondering his decision. "Might as well bring Hahli, then," he eventually said to Himself. "At least with her around things will be a little more enjoyable." "Why are you telling me this?" wondered Himself, a random Ta-Matoran with a weird name who was walking nearby. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Krekka, having inexplicably forgotten to die in Legends of Metru Nui due to his sheer stupidity, was wandering Po-Metru, wearing turnips on his head. Turaga Lhikan's ghost materialized in front of him. "Krekka, as much as I don't want to say this, Dume wanted me to invite you to--" "AAAAH! A GHOST!! MOMMY!!" screamed Krekka, throwing all of the turnips at Lhikan and running as fast as he could away from the ghost. Then he ran smack into a sculpture and fell flat on his back. Lhikan drifted over to him. "Just take this and show up for Dume's Thanksgiving celebration, okay?" He dumped a huge tablet on Krekka's head, then floated away. "Of all the people, I had to get stuck inviting him," he muttered. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Turaga Dume entered The Nuva Inn with several of his invitation tablets. "Hello, Toa Nuva," he announced. "I'm here to invite you to--" "Yeah, yeah, we already know," grumbled Lewa. "You already came here to book the reservation!" "Yes, but I'm here to invite you as guests!" Lewa shook his head. "If we're the guests, then who's going to run the place while we're celebrating Thanksgiving? Besides, I remember how well your last attempt went. I have absolutely no desire to celebrate that holiday again." Dume sighed. "Very well." He then checked his invite list. "Oh well, off to invite the Running Jokes to join me!" He then left the Inn. "That was completely pointless, wasn't it?" asked Kopaka. "No," replied Takanuva. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Nuju sat down in front of a computer set up in one of the Knowledge Towers. "Beep bewoop boop bizeet," he muttered to himself as he started the computer. "Beepity buzz zip weird sound click twirr!" Nuju then opened the Internet and logged in to BZPower, where he posted his 'translation' of Dume's invite: "Beep click, buzzap whirr boop frwee! Click clack whirrity beep weird sound twirr click! Boop beep bizz boop whirr. Whistle click." Satisfied, Nuju posted the topic and waited for a while. After about twenty minutes, he refreshed the General Discussion forum and looked at the single reply he had gotten: "IceRahiSpeaker, this post is completely made up of nonsensical gibberish. At BZPower, such a post is considered SPAM. Please refrain from doing this in the future. Topic Closed." " " Nuju emoticonned. "BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPP!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Several days later, Dume had finally gathered all of the guests in the restaurant area of The Nuva Inn, which had been specially reserved for that day. Instead of sending the Toa Nuva on quests to obtain all of the food, he had instead gotten it catered there from some random place. At the insistence of the other Turaga, he had also hired Avak to stand guard should Takanuva go insane again, but luckily, thanks to a strange incident with a Vahi, Takanuva had remained normal since shortly after the previous year's celebration. Everyone sat down to eat. "Hey! It isn't time to eat yet!" exclaimed Random Matoran #35, and Everyone hurriedly stood up. "Sorry," murmured Everyone. "He wasn't even invited this year! Get out!" Dume pointed out. "Somebody get rid of him." "It'll be a pleasure!" Onua Nuva said, quoting his line from Mask of Light, as he lifted Everyone up and tossed him out the window. "Much better, thank you," Dume said. "Anyway, speaking of thanks, I'd like to welcome all of you to the Second Annual Metru Nui Thanksgiving Feast! This year is going to be a bit smaller than last time, due to the minor difficulties that we had last year--" "Understatement of the millennium," muttered Turaga Matau. "--Right, anyway, welcome all! I'd like to thank Mata Nui, for existing, you, for coming here, the Toa Nuva, for hosting us in their restaurant/inn, and Lewa0111, for typing this comedy." " " the rest of the guests emoticonned. Dume shook his head. "Never mind. Now that I've said what I'm thankful for, let's sit down and eat!" All of the guests sat down at the rather large table. "Duuuuuuuuuuuhh...now what?" asked Krekka, staring stupidly at his empty plate.The rest of the table collectively facepalmed. Luckily for their continued sanity at having to deal with Krekka, the Toa Nuva entered with plates full of Thanksgiving foods, such as roast Gukko, Bula Berry sauce, mashed potatoes (discovered in Hydraxon's lair the previous year), and, naturally, pies. In fact, everything was a pie, including the aforementioned non-pie items. In addition, there were exactly 3.14 plates of everything. "Well, this is strange," muttered Turaga Nokama. "Who's in charge of cooking these things, anyway?" "BURN STUFF!!" came a shout from the general direction of the kitchen, followed by a huge waterfall drenching everything in the vicinity. A shout of "PIE!" followed shortly after. Then, the kitchen door burst open, followed by a sopping wet Tahu, a smiling Gali, and an ecstatic Tava. Tava then pulled out a gigantic stack of even more pies and tossed them onto the table. There were pies of every imaginable type: pumpkin pies, apple pies, bula pies, Thornax pies, Oreo pies, fishlightstonestatue pies, pie pies, pi pies, Everything Pies, and Tahu's specialty, Fire Pies. "All right, let's leap! said Turga Udem, taking a book of his food and wallowing it. " " he emoticonned. The Rahkshi of Letter Control simply burst out laughing and changed all of the pies on the table to IEs. Tava, however, was undaunted, and simply baked all of the IEs into an Internet Explorer Pie, which he then served to the RLC. He then ran back into the kitchen to bake even more pies. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ At last, all of the assembled beings had finally gotten around to actually eating. The problem of how to eat with Kanohi masks on was solved by the guests alternating taking their masks off, passing out, and having others feed them food then putting the masks back on to revive them. The guests all took turns doing this, and though it resulted in quite a few falling Matoran, broken chairs, and general messiness, all agreed that it had been a step up from the previous year's celebration. "I'm stuffed," groaned Jaller. "Then don't eat any more, silly!" replied Hahli, sitting next to him. The reason they hadn't been mentioned at all until now was because they were too busy being romantic. "Duuuuuuuuuuuhhhh...where's the cauliflower pie?" asked Krekka, despite the fact that he actually didn't even like cauliflower. "Anybody want more pie?" asked Tava, walking out of the kitchen with a gigantic stack of 9,321 pies of various flavors. "I've got fresh-baked ones right here!" The entire table shook its head. "What, no pies for you, table?" "You can't even talk!" Turaga Vakama protested to the table. "Oh, right," the table observed. " " it emoticonned. Tava just smiled. "Oh, well! I guess that just means more for me!" With a , he ate the entire stack of pies in one bite. Then he proceeded to eat everyone else's leftovers, as wellllllllllllllllll, including the Rahkshi of Letter Control's. " " Turaga Vakama emoticonned. "Well, that explains why he's wider than he is tall..." "I wish I could eat," mused Lhikan's ghost as he drifted around the room. "I've always wanted to taste pie." "PIE! I made a Ghost Pie!" exclaimed Tava, holding up a blue, glowing pie and pieing Lhikan's ghost in the face with it. Lhikan pulled the pie off of his face and ate it. To his surprise, this actually worked. "Cool! " he said excitedly. "I can eat something again!" "Hey, that's my line! I have it copyrighted!" shouted an angry Turaga Matau, chasing Lhikan with his staff. "And I have copyrights copyrighted!" Keetongu rose from his seat, accidentally knocking over the entire table to chase after Matau, who was chasing after Lhikan. Matau finally caught up to Lhikan, but passed right through him owing to Lhikan being a ghost, and fell flat on his face. Keetongu then started beating Matau up for stealing his copyrighted copyrights. " " emoticonned the rest of the guests and TNI's staff. Dume shook his head. "Why can't Metru Nui learn to celebrate Thanksgiving normally?" "The world may never know," answered Random Matoran #35. THE END ~Lewa# Studios Lewa0111 Nuva
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