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A love letter to the Mata Nui Online Game. Le-Koro Platform Le-Koro Platform
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Whoever wanted Matau's versions of events from Mystery of Metru Nui up through the beginning of Web of Shadows, I gotchu. Did I mention it's smooshed into the rough syllable-template of We Didn't Start the Fire? here goes nothing. [intro] [verse 1] Toa Lhikan, Toa-zapped, now we’re tall, Vahki-slap! Kanoka-hunt with water-sisters, running from Bordakh! Orkahm hates me, that’s okay, no different from another day Need that disk, I love the risk, but wish my mask would glow! Chute dare-diving, force-sphere, Toa-hero knows no fear! Got the disk, I almost died, left Nokama wide-eyed. Reunited, go team! Time to kill the plant thing Who takes lead, we can’t decide! Vakama thinks he’s wise, guys. [chorus] Vakama started the fire His visions were concerning Saw the city burning Vakama started the fire I don’t think I like him But I can’t just fight him [verse 2] On our way to Coliseum, use the disks to flex on Dume Matoran panic, intercept us, now we’re underground Tunnels full of yuck-dark, put up with Whenua-snark Team in-fighting, shape-shift, Nokama saves the day! Back to Coliseum now, but we couldn’t wow the crowd Actually, the opposite, Dume thought we were full of it Half of us are on the run, others now in prison Pincher-face gave us chase, talking Kikanalo! [chorus] Vakama started the fire His visions were concerning Now the city’s burning Vakama started the fire I don’t think I like him But I can’t just fight him [verse 3] Back together, coma-spheres, Turaga Lhikan, Lohrak Mask powers, Vahki hive, attempt romantic ride-drive Shadow threatens city’s heart, fake Dume, trouble brews City gathers, we’re too late, the Makuta in disguise! Mask of Time, sketchy boat, Nidhiki-Krekka-Nivawk-meal Lhikan dies, Vakama cries, then we make a Toa-seal Tunnel voyage, don’t go left! Mavrah should have let us go Water monsters, Krahli, no one misses Ahkmou [chorus] Vakama started the fire Though the city’s burning He says we’re returning Vakama started the fire No, I still don’t like him But it’s hard to spite him [verse 4] Island-home, Toa-stones, vines are way too overgrown Kinda lost, don’t know how, I guess this is my life now. Into tunnels one more time, adventures really start to rhyme Rahi says to turn back, warns us about Visorak Monster Rahi, Kratana, talking plant is back again Nokama down, silver pool, plant turns out to be a fool [chorus] Vakama started the fire Though the city’s burning He says we’re returning Vakama started the fire No, I still don’t like him But it’s hard to spite him [verse 5] Metru Nui, overrun, what on earth have we done? Went in overconfident, lots of yelling, arguments Walked right into Toa-trap, ended up in spider-wrap Ugly now, hysteria, some arachnophobia Norik says keep hope, gotta learn how to cope Don’t throw blame, don’t call names, don't Hordika body shame Tempers flared up anyway, said some things I shouldn’t say Haven’t seen Vakama since, hear he’s now the spider prince [chorus] Vakama started the fire Though he wasn’t discerning We were all just learning Vakama started the fire With all the strife we gave him Think we have to save him... (Billy Joel, We Didn't Start the Fire, and screenshots from Bionicle: Legends of Metru Nui) (inspired partially by this comic, which I love, by HidronNuva and the respective renditions of the song by Leslie Knope and Dwight K. Schrute, among other things) (This ended on a sadder note than intended, but I ran out of lyrics to parody.)
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The only ones I can really think of is how much Mr. Makuro bears a strong resemblance to Turaga Matau, his mask specifically. Another one is the Bohrok (I wonder what it's even called; an eyepiece?) part in the Furno bike. Does anybody know anything else, I'm really interested in hearing more about these discoveries!?
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Hello again, It has been a while since my last post. Here I present to you all some images I took of the glorious inhabitants of Le Wahi. Lewa observing a Shrine. Vira conversing with a fellow Le-Matoran. Makuta... Lehvak emerging from the darkness. Matau giving out instructions. Nuhvok in the depths of the Fau Swamp. Lehvak attacking. I do hope you enjoyed them. Please comment!
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This definition is reported in the BIONICLE: Metru Nui - City of Legends guide. The fact that chutes are made of liquid protodermis is reported in numerous other sources, including the Legends of Metru Nui movie. Furthermore, on numerous occasions, characters are described as swimming within the chutes. However, this raises a fundamental question: how did the passengers of a chute breathe? BIONICLE: Encyclopedia Updated offers the easiest answer: The discussion could end here; except that this doesn't make any sense. To begin with, chutes were the main means of transport in Metru Nui. Now, it's true that Matoran may be able to hold their breath longer than humans (this has never been explicitly stated, though some scenes in the storyline seem to suggest it) and that chutes are very fast; nevertheless, as multiple scenes show (again, see for example Legends of Metru Nui) chute passengers spend a significant time inside the chutes and it seems odd that they would manage to hold their breath the entire time (the storyline sources also never speak about them not being able to breathe). It is also strange that the main means of transport in the city of Metru Nui would be one where passengers are at constant risk of drowning. In addition, two scenes, respectively in Mystery of Metru Nui (when Matau is trying to get out of a tampered chute by creating a cushion of air to slow him down) and Trial by Fire (where Matau is recovering the Le-Metru Great Disk and must create a cyclone to escape a force sphere), seem to state that there is air within the chutes. Now, while there might be bubbles within the chutes, it hardly seems possible for Matau to accomplish these two feats with just that air available. So where does the extra air come from? My only idea is that somehow there is air dissolved within the liquid protodermis of the chutes and that it is released when a passenger breathes in or when a Toa of Air calls upon it. How this would work, however, is anyone's guess. I welcome thoughts on the whole matter.
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After seeing others take pictures of their bionicles in real life landscapes I was inspired to try it out myself. Please let me know what you think.
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It’s Valentine’s Day, and what better way to celebrate this romantic holiday than with everyone’s favorite not-quite-off-again-on-again-sorta-maybe couple? Oh wait, I know...how about with two of them? The Weirdest Double Date Ever A BIONICLE comedy by Me! Part 5 of the Lewa# Studios Holiday Series 2015-2016 It was another morning in the city of Metru Nui. In her home in Ga-Metru, Toa Nokama was sleeping peacefully when a sudden racket from outside woke her up. Annoyed, she stretched and looked out her window, where she saw a procession of Ta-Matoran walking past. Normally this wouldn’t have been too surprising (except for the fact that Ta-Matoran normally didn’t like water much), but on closer inspection, there was something rather...unusual about these particular Ta-Matoran. The most obvious thing about them was that each and every Matoran in the procession had been dyed a bright pink. This would’ve been bad enough for Nokama (she could hardly stare directly at their armor without hurting her eyes, it was so bright) but they were also banging on drums, shooting heart-shaped arrows randomly in all directions, and chucking heart-shaped cards at every Ga-Matoran they encountered. Nokama shrugged. It was definitely Valentine’s Day, all right. She never used a calendar anymore, as she could always count on Turaga Dume’s outlandish ideas for the holidays to keep her aware of what day it was. She suddenly found herself energized, excited to find out what the day would bring! Valentine’s Day was a day full of love, romance, flowers, and chocolate. (Wait, actually forget the chocolate, because it doesn’t exist in BIONICLE. Duh.) A nice, peaceful, romantic day, that she would enj-- “HEADS UP!!” came a sudden shout. Suddenly Nokama found herself zooming hundreds of mio per hour, high above the city, dangling from the bottom of a shoddily-constructed flying vehicle. “WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Oh, hey Nokama. Like my new Jet Soarer? When did you get here, anyway?” Nokama clung to the side of said Jet Soarer (which had been made, as far as she could tell, out of some Axalara parts, two Kanohi Kadin superglued to the wings, several Air Katana duct-taped together, and--) “Are those Tahnok velcroed to the bottom? Why in Mata Nui’s name...never mind. Will you just get me off this thing?” “The heat makes it go faster!” explained Matau with a . “No Krana, obviously. Like it?” “You owe me a new house.” Matau’s eyes widened. “Oh, that was your house...oops. Thought it was Onewa’s.” “Why the Karzahni would he live in Ga-Metru!?!?!?!?!?” (Pohatu attempted to appear to say his usual running joke, but due to being high in the air, took one look outside his time-comedy warp portal and closed it right up again instead). “Dunno. Hey, does this count as a date?” Nokama really, really wished he were in slapping range. “No! Just get me on the ground. RIGHT NOW!” Matau rolled his eyes. “Fine. You’re no fun...” He laughed and pushed the controls forward. “Wait, no, I didn’t mean like--GAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” Nokama screamed suddenly as Matau brought the Jet Soarer into a near-vertical dive straight into Le-Metru. At the very last second, Matau swerved, missing the Moto-Hub by inches, and twisted the vehicle upside-down as it plowed into the top of a nearby house. Luckily, thanks to that last-minute twist, Nokama ended up safely away from the crash, and clambered down onto the wreckage unharmed. Matau, however, was not so lucky. “Blubbllbulbb...bluuuuuuuuuuuuugh... “ he rambled as he stumbled out of the vehicle and then immediately fainted. “Uh-oh,” Nokama muttered, looking around nervously. “I hope nobody was home.” As if on cue, two Turaga opened the inexplicably still-standing back door and peered out. “Oh, don’t worry. That happens just about every other day when you live in Le-Metru,” explained one of them. “In fact, I’m surprised I haven’t seen Kongu--” A large transport vehicle suddenly catapulted out of the nearby chute, ridden by a laughing Le-Matoran. The vehicle immediately splatted into the ground where the Turagas’ house had been standing. “Oh, never mind, there he is.” “Come to think of it,” said the other Turaga, who Nokama could now see had green armor, “you look awfully familiar. Have we met before?” A trident emerged from behind the door and bonked the green Turaga on the head. “You moron!” said the second Turaga, who now walked out of the door to join them, “she’s me!” “ “ was just about all Nokama could say to that. “Airplanes!” said a very woozy Matau, suddenly standing up. He looked around. “Yeah, I’m tired.” He fainted again. “Wait...was that...?” asked the green Turaga. “Toa Matau,” said Nokama. “Sorry about him.” “WHAT??” “I know. It’s a bit of a shock,” said the blue Turaga. “HE STOLE MY NAME! I’m the only one awesome enough to earn the name ‘Matau!’” The blue Turaga facepalmed. “Matau? He’s you.” “Wait...” stuttered Nokama, realization suddenly dawning. “He’s Matau? As a Turaga? Then who are...you’re me?” “That’s right,” said Turaga Nokama. “Somehow.” Turaga Matau, Toa Nokama, and Turaga Nokama all staired at each other for a long, awkward moment. Then they all got lazy, so they switched to escalatoring at each other instead. Finally, Toa Nokama broke the silence. “Okay, wait, hold on. How can we both be on Metru Nui at the same time, if we’re Toa before we ever awakened the Matoran on Metru Nui but you’re only Turaga after returning to Metru Nui at the end of the 2003 storyline and the Toa Nuva are running around but Dume’s still active and apparently not possessed by Makuta and...where exactly in the storyline does the Lewa0111 comedy universe take place, anyway?” Turaga Matau raised his eyebrows. “Short answer? It doesn’t.” Toa Nokama shrugged. “Eh, fair enough. Uh, sorry again about your house. My house? Our house?” “It’s okay. Like I said, we’ve seen worse.” Toa Nokama glanced at the unconscious Toa Matau lying nearby. “So...what are we going to do about him? We can’t just leave him there.” “Don’t you...me...us...we...whatever, just don’t worry,” said Turaga Nokama. “It’s easy!” With that, she walked up to Toa Matau, placed her hand on his face, then violently yanked it away with a *!palS* Immediately Toa Matau sat up. “What happened? Where am I? Oh, hey old me. Hey, old Nokama.” “ ” emoticonned Toa Nokama. “You’re taking this surprisingly well.” “It’s a Lewa0111 comedy. I’m just shocked it took this long for us to meet.” “I make a good point,” said Turaga Matau. “Hey, young me.” “Remind me to teach you the secret art of the palS sometime,” Turaga Nokama whispered to her Toa counterpart. Then, louder, she asked the group, “So what should we do now?” “I know!” exclaimed Toa Matau. “Let’s race! Matau Vs. Matau: The Ultimate Challenge!” Still woozy from her previous encounter with Matau’s flying antics, Nokama immediately shook her head. “Let’s not.” “Aww, you’re no fun.” “ ” all four suddenly emoticonned. Surprised, they all looked up. A flock of Gukko was passing by, all dressed up as Cupids with bows and arrows glued to their wings. Cameo the Le-Matoran, covered in pink, was riding the lead Gukko, dumping pink paint and heart confetti down onto everyone he passed, causing the victims to resemble “wub” emoticons. The two Turaga looked at each other. “Dume...and here he’s supposed to be the mature one,” Turaga Nokama said. “You’re all Turaga though; shouldn’t you all be mature?” asked Toa Nokama, confused. Her Turaga self just laughed. “Not really. Have you seen Dume’s holidays?” she asked. Toa Nokama shrugged. “Good point. Actually, speaking of Dume, I’d almost forgotten today was Valentine’s Day! Shouldn’t you two be on a date?” “Shouldn’t you two?” Nokama (both of them) sighed. “A fair point,” conceded the Toa of Water. “So far my Valentine’s Day has been...less than romantic.” “What are you talking about? I got you a free ride on my Jet Soarer for the occasion! That’s super romantic, right?” “Definitely!” said Turaga Matau. “See, Nokama? ...Er, my Nokama? I told you that was a perfectly acceptable anniversary gift!” “Matau, yourself does not count as a valid reference.” “Hey!” protested Toa Matau. Toa Nokama shrugged. “She has a point. Where were the flowers? Hearts? Chocolates?” (We already went over this! Chocolate doesn’t exist in BIONICLE!) “Unfortunately, both of our Mataus will need to try a lot harder to make this Valentine’s Day a good one,” said Turaga Nokama. (Completely ignoring me, as usual. In a weird way, I kind of miss the fourth-wall-breaking Earth characters...uhh, don’t tell Onua or Whenua I said that.) “Okay! I have a super romantic idea! Let’s go out on a date!” exclaimed Toa Matau. “Very creative, Matau,” said Nokama sarcastically. “Can you be more specific?” “Hmm...” thought Toa Matau. “Oh, here’s a good one. A double date! Or...single date? Self-date? Not sure what you call it. But we can go out along with our Turaga selves!” Nokama considered this. “That’s actually not a bad idea.” The two Turaga looked at each other. “See? That was a halfway decent Valentine’s Day idea. Why didn’t you ever come up with anything like that?” asked Turaga Nokama. “But I have come up with that!” protested Turaga Matau. “Oh really? When?” “When I was a Toa and this happened, and I said that, just now! ...Then?” “I don’t even...you know what, never mind.” Ignoring this rather odd conversation, Toa Matau asked, “So this is an actual, official date? Awesome! Where should we go?” “I’ve wanted to visit the new Colosseum they just finished building! Can we go there?” “Sure, anything for you! I’m driving,” said Toa Matau. “NO!” both Nokamas shouted simultaneously. “Aww, why not? I’m a great driver!” “Agreed!” said Turaga Matau. Both Nokamas gazed pointedly at the wreckage of the house and Jet Soarer. Some time later, Toa Nokama was (very carefully) flying them all toward the center of the city, where a gleaming new Colosseum had been built to replace the one destroyed in the recent New Year’s debacle. A few Vahki construction crews (and Takanuva) were still finishing up the last touches on the building, but for the most part it was completed. It featured elevators, an observation deck, a much better sound system than before, extensive sky-parking, and even separate stadiums for Akilini, Kohlii, Sohker, Gholph, and numerous other Matoran sports. However, it wasn’t in the same location as the old Colosseum, but rather in a prime location right next to the Nuva Inn, which now had a skybridge connecting the two structures. (Toa Lewa had insisted on the new location, “claiming” that it had nothing to do with wanting more money.) “That looks like a good spot!” said Turaga Nokama, pointing to a sky-parking spot right near the main entrance. Her Toa self steered toward the spot, but as they got there, a small flying spider-shaped vehicle cut in front of them, settling neatly into the spot. “Aww.” “Hey, what’s the big idea?” demanded Matau of the other vehicle. “Nobody makes my girlfriend sad!” Both Nokamas SLAP!ed their respective Mataus. “What did I do?” asked Turaga Matau. “When you were a Toa and this happened. Just now,” Turaga Nokama said, quoting his own words from earlier back at him. “I hate irony.” While this conversation was happening, Matau leaped into the air and flew over to the parking spot. “I’ll have you know that was our spot. We saw it first!” The door of the other vehicle opened to reveal... “Wait, Oohnorak? What are you doing here?” The black-and-orange Visorak stepped out. “It’s Valentine’s Day, obviously.” “Wait a minute, you have a girlfriend? Since when?” A Boggarak stepped out of the other side. “Since forever. This is Katie the Boggarak.” “How did I not know about this?” “What did you think I was doing whenever I wasn’t in entire chapters of Ask Matau!, sitting around? I was usually out with Katie.” “Huh. I just figured Lewa0111 forgot about you.” “Nah. I was busy.” “Oh, okay. But look, can we still have the parking spot?” The Visorak shrugged (no easy feat when you’re a spider). “Well, yeah. We’ll be gone soon. Bye!” As the two Visorak walked into the Colosseum, hand-in-hand (er...”pincer-in-pincer?”), Random Matoran #35 jumped into their vehicle. “One order of valet parking, coming right up!” he said with a , flying the vehicle off. Toa Nokama, seeing this, settled their vehicle onto the spot. “Thanks, Matau! That was sweet of you.” She then tried to kiss him on the cheek, but only succeeded in bonking their masks together and knocking them off. Luckily, their Turaga selves quickly put their masks back on before the Toa could faint. “Okay. That didn’t work.” “We’ve tried that before,” Turaga Nokama commented. “Sure, now you tell me! Whatever, let’s just go inside.” The odd pair of couples walked through the door, as behind them, Random Matoran #35 flew the vehicle away. Once inside, they were greeted with billboards advertising everything from Nidhiki’s Webbing Services to Avohkii Construction, Inc. to the Skydiving Club and beyond. Crowds of various beings milled about, coming and going from the Kohlii game on the ground floor, the Nuva Inn, the restaurants and observatory on the top floor, and the many shops installed along the side. “Wow,” gasped both sets of Nokamas and Mataus in astonishment. “This is definitely an improvement over the old one,” Toa Nokama commented. “I could shop here all day!” “Well, we’re not here to shop,” said Turaga Matau. “It’s Valentine’s Day, can’t you stop thinking about yourself for one minute?” demanded Turaga Nokama. “But I like thinking about myself!” “WE KNOW,” said both Nokamas. Toa Matau just pointed to one of the billboards advertising the top floor. “Actually, I’m right...he’s right...I’m right...WHATEVER. We’re not here to shop because we have a dinner reservation!” “I’m fine with that!” said Toa Nokama. “I just hope it goes better than the last time we went out to a restaurant.” “Don’t worry. I’m not wearing a tie this time!” “That’s a relief,” Turaga Nokama observed. The four of them ascended the elevator to the top floor, where they emerged into the latest addition to the Tava’s Pie House series of restaurants. “Welcome to Tava’s Pie House: Pie-in-the-Sky Edition!” said Random Matoran #35, dressed as a waiter. “Wait a minute, weren’t you the valet driver?” asked Toa Matau, confused. “Yes,” said Random Matoran #35. “And now you’re the waiter?” “Yes.” “But how did you get up here so fast? And change your uniform?” “Yes.” “ ” “Sorry about him,” interjected Turaga Nokama. “Just show us to our seats.” “Okay, right this way.” They passed several tables filled with various couples, including Nidhiki and Lariska (and a very confused Krekka), Everyone and Nobody (strangest couple name ever), Roodaka and Sidorak (who insisted on the royal treatment), Krika and Krahka (prone to mixing up their own names), Hewkii and Macku (who apparently didn’t care that their relationship is non-canon), Oohnorak and Katie (who Matau still couldn’t believe were even dating), and, for some inexplicable reason, Gresh and Kiina. “Are those Bara Magnan Glatorian over there?” whispered Toa Nokama to her Turaga self. “Yes, I believe you’re right.” “Why are they here? Isn’t this comedy before--” “I told you, just accept that no official storyline timeline makes any sense in Lewa0111 comedies, and you’ll feel better,” whispered Toa Matau. Finally, Random Matoran #35 sat them down at their table. “Enjoy!” he said. They looked at their menus. “Wow. I never knew this many types of pies existed!” said Toa Nokama. “There’s a ‘Stuff Matau Likes’ Pie? This place really does have everything,” said Toa Matau with a . “I’ll definitely be having one of those, too,” said Turaga Matau. “This place is the best!” “They even have a ‘Jumble-of-random-foods-typically-found-in-comedies-including-cheese-pickles-cookies-bananas-and-pie-yes-pie-within-pie-don’t-ask’ pie? That is one long name,” commented Turaga Nokama. In no time at all, Random Matoran #35 was back to take their order. Both Mataus ordered...well, you can probably guess; Toa Nokama had a “Seafood Delight Pie,” and Turaga Nokama decided to try the “Observation Platform Pie,” which was a specialty only served in this particular Tava’s Pie House. “So,” said Toa Matau after they’d all placed their orders, “what was everyone’s favorite part of the day? I liked the part where I was awesome. And where I met another me. You’re much nicer than that Toa Matau clone I ran into before. He was a...word we can’t say on BZPower.” “How many of us are there?” asked Turaga Matau. “We should make a Matau band. Or a Matau city! All Mataus, all the time!” “That’s a great idea. Let’s see, there’s us, that clone Matau, the toy version of you from one of Lewa0111’s old cancelled comedies, the Matau from Ask Matau! (or is that me? I’m confused), the official storyline Mataus....” “I just got an idea! Let’s take Bitil’s mask! Then we could have infinite Mataus!” “BEST. IDEA. EVER.” While this conversation was going on, the two Nokamas were exchanging looks of exasperation. “This sounds like a recipe for disaster,” Turaga Nokama commented. “‘Recipe for disaster?’ Did you want our Disaster Pie recipe? We’re selling all of our Pie recipes in the gift shop on our way out!” exclaimed Random Matoran #35, arriving with their orders. “Uhh...maybe. Anyway, thanks for the food.” Suddenly, an explosion erupted from the kitchen, and a geyser of fire launched itself into the air. The entire place caught fire, and screaming Matoran ran everywhere. “Hey, what’s the big idea? I was about to eat!” shouted Turaga Matau. Both Nokamas stood up and started to put out the fire, but two flying transports pulled up outside the windows, discharging a firematoran carrying a long hose, who swiftly put out the fire. A drenched Tahu stumbled out of the former kitchen. “For once it wasn’t my fault!” he was saying. “Nidhiki shouldn’t have ordered the ‘Extra-Gigantic-Mega-Size Fire Pie!’” <TOA TAHU. YOU ARE UNDER ARREST FOR BURNING STUFF. AGAIN> said a Vorzakh, leading a squad to arrest the aforementioned Toa of Fire. <YOU WILL COME QUIETLY> “That was...uhh...interesting,” commented Toa Nokama. “I just hope we get a refund,” Turaga Matau said. “Our pies are all charred to a crisp!” “REFUND??” shouted a randomly appeared Lewa. “DON’T YOU DARE TAKE MY PRECIOUS MONEY!” As the Vorzakh led Tahu away in the background, Tava said, “Lewa? You don’t even own this restaurant. It’s not actually your money.” “I do now! I’m buying your restaurant.” “It’s not for sale...” Before Lewa could get more upset, Tava grabbed a Widget Pie and pied Lewa in the face with it. “Here, now go back to your Manager’s Suite.” “Yay, a Money Pie!” Lewa then flew off back to the Nuva Inn as randomly as he had come. “Oh, and no refunds.” “...He doesn’t even work here,” said the firematoran, “I don’t know what all the fuss is about. But Charred-to-a-Crisp Pies are actually pretty good. I’ve had them before. They’re surprisingly popular with Ta-Matoran.” “Well, none of us are Ta-Matoran,” observed Toa Nokama. “This date is a disaster,” murmured Toa Matau. The firematoran shrugged. “It could be worse. You could all be on fire right now.” “A fair point,” said Turaga Nokama. As the firematoran got back into his vehicle and flew away, he took off his Mask of Fireproofing to reveal himself to be Random Matoran #35. Toa Matau turned around as soon as the vehicle had left, only to see Random Matoran #35 walking up to their table, ready to receive their check. “Wait but--wha--how--you were the firematoran just now!” “Yes.” Toa Nokama put a hand on his shoulder. “That certainly happened. Let’s just go; we can still see the observation deck!” Toa Matau sighed. “Yeah, good idea. Check please!” After both Mataus had paid for their respective dates, all four found themselves out on the observation deck next to the restaurant. They gazed out upon the beautiful, romantic sight of the city’s lights twinkling against the sunset. They also gazed out upon Ta-Metru exploding from an unsuccessful attempt at baking Valentines’ Day cookies, Le-Metru experiencing a rain of vehicles crashing from running into Cameo’s flocks of pink-paint-and-heart-confetti-dropping Gukko birds, Po-Metru inexplicably causing a giant sinkhole to erupt from a poorly-thought-out quarry (in which Hafu had been carving a giant valentine out of the stone to give to...himself), Onu-Metru dealing with the aforementioned giant sinkhole, Ga-Metru filling with the panicked screams of pink Ta-Matoran falling into one-foot-deep water and thinking they were drowning, and Ko-Metru doing absolutely nothing for the occasion because they were too busy doing scholarly things to bother with the holiday. Okay, maybe ‘beautiful, romantic sight’ wasn’t the best description. “You know,” said Toa Matau, “as random as today was, I look out at this sight and I think something.” “Oh? And what’s that?” asked Nokama, anticipating something heartwarming and romantic. “Random Matoran #35 was right, even if he does keep changing jobs inexplicably. My plan for today was still the best out of everyone else’s!” he said with a , gesturing to the sounds of chaos from the city below. Nokama just facepalmed. On the other side of the platform, the two Turaga watched their Toa selves. “I miss those days,” Turaga Nokama said wistfully. “I liked being a Toa.” “Being a Toa-Hero was fun. It’s nice seeing them. Us. Ourselves. Themselves. Whatever.” “Today was fun, though. Even if I never got to find out what an Observation Platform Pie tastes like.” “You know what I think, though?” asked Turaga Matau. “That you’re the greatest Toa-Hero ever?” “No...well okay, yes, but I meant besides that. Being a Turaga isn’t all that bad. Toa Me hasn’t had nearly as much time spent with you, after all. And those are some great memories to have.” “...And who couldn’t be happy with today? Spending it with such a hottie-hot-hottie like you is--” Toa Matau was saying, which was predictably met with a *SLAP!* Seeing this, Turaga Nokama raised an eyebrow (despite wearing her mask). “Well, okay, they weren’t all great memories,” Turaga Matau admitted. “But I still wouldn’t trade them for the world. That Toa of Air still has a lot of fun times ahead. And I should know! I’m literally him!” “That was...surprisingly sweet,” Turaga Nokama said. They started to kiss-- “Ha, ha!” yelled Cameo, zooming overhead with his bucket and upending it over all of them, then throwing a smartphone and two Xbox Ones at the almost-kissing Turaga for good measure before flying away. Both Mataus and Nokamas looked at each other. “Some things never change,” Toa Nokama said as a squad of Vahki zoomed past, followed by a policematoran riding a Gukko, all chasing the prankster. “Except for him, apparently,” Toa Matau pointed out. Sure enough, the policematoran was Random Matoran #35. Just then, the doors swung open, and Toa Tava came racing out onto the platform, carrying four pies in his hands. “Wait! You forgot your free desserts! I made special-edition Valentines’ Day Pies for you all!” “Oh, wow, thank you--” Toa Nokama started to say, but was interrupted when Tava, as per usual, pied them all in the face. (Apparently this is the only way he knows how to serve pies). Unfortunately, they were all still standing right next to the railing when he did so, which sent all four of them toppling over the edge. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!” THE END Random Matoran #35 the Word Counter: This comedy has 3,953 words. Toa Matau: Wait, you mean he’s the word counter too? Random Matoran #35 the Word Counter: Yes. ~Happy Valentine’s Day from Lewa# Studios! Halloween Special 2015 Thanksgiving Special 2015 Christmas Special 2015 New Year’s Special 2015 Lewa0111 Nuva
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Happy Thanksgiving! Whilst I’m busy keeping Tava away from all the pies, I’ve somehow found time to write another one of these things...and HOLY PLOT TWIST BATMAN, IT’S ACTUALLY NOT LATE! Have I been replaced with Mirror Universe Lewa0111 who writes comedies early? Thanksgiving 2014 Thanksgiving 2011 Anyway: To Catch a Gukko A BIONICLE comedy by Me! Part 2 of the Lewa# Studios Holiday Series 2015-2016 Turaga Dume watched from his Colosseum Box as the Onu-Matoran work crews continued to haul the massive pile of dirt out of the Colosseum, a leftover from the...interesting Halloween they’d had last month. The other Turaga, who he’d summoned, looked at him. “So, Turaga Dume, what do you need us for?” asked Whenua. “We need to decide what we’re doing for Thanksgiving,” he told the group. I want to make sure, for once, that none of our holidays are utter disasters. This time, Thanksgiving is going to be problem-free, wonderful, and an enjoyable time for all of Metru Nui!” Matau stepped forward, waving his staff excitedly. “I agree, that’s a great idea! We need a good one this year. Especially after the disaster that was this past Halloween--which had nothing at all to do with me, by the way--we need to make it extra-awesome! “It had EVERYTHING to do with you, and you know it!” said Nokama, bonking him over the head with her staff. “Which is why I grounded you.” “We’ve been over this! You can’t ground me!” Dume cleared his trout. Then, he cleared his salmon, his perch, and his goldfish. “What smells so fishy?” asked Onewa, looking up at Dume. With the leader of Metru Nui having finally gotten their attention, he announced, “Regardless of grounded-ness, I need all six of you to help. This has to be a surprise for everyone, even the Toa, so we do it ourselves. The task...is to catch a Gukko.” “Hey, that’s the title!” pointed out Vakama. “It’s all my fault that that’s the title! It’s all my fault--” As one, the other six Turaga yelled, “SHUT UP!” “ ” Vakama emoticonned. “That’s better. Anyway, this task will not be an easy one. You see, Gukko no longer live in Metru Nui. You might recall a certain recklessly-piloted vehicle careening through the air a few months ago, which terrified them all into fleeing the city.” “It almost terrified the rest of us, too…” muttered Onewa, with a pointed glance at Matau. “We’re too old for this.” “That’s what I told him,” Nokama pointed out. Matau, for his part, just stared up at the sky and started whistling in a vain attempt to look like he had nothing to do with the aforementioned incident. Attempting to get back on topic, Nuju addressed Dume. “Beep whirr, whistle beep whistle whistle click fweep toodle toodle toodle toodle toodle toodle toodle BONK!” “Hold on a second,” said Dume as he quickly grabbed a spare Noble Mask of Google Translate (a Kanohi resembling the Noble Rau, though with the colors of Google’s logo) and swapped it for his normal mask. “‘If you or your Gukko, ingest a city?’” Dume translated with the mask. “I don’t get it.” “FAWEEP BUZZ BOOT!” shouted Nuju, frustrated. “‘All I said?’ All you said what?” Nuju just facepalmed, then turned to Nokama. “Chatter click beep weird Rahi noises,” he said. With a sigh, Nokama activated her own (much more useful) mask and translated the first sentence Nuju had said. “Dume, he originally said ‘If the Gukko are no longer in the city, where can we find one?’ Your mask needs some work.” “Oh. That makes much more sense, thank you. And my mask is fine!” “ ” emoticonned the other six Turaga in unison. “Just you wait, next holiday I’ll have an even better custom mask…” Dume muttered. Then he cleared his toast, ignoring the bagel, bread, croissant, muffin, and pastry also needing to be cleared. “Ahem, getting back to Nuju’s original question, that is what makes this quest challenging. The Matoran Universe’s entire population of Gukko have since migrated to Mata Nui, up above us. The seven of us will need to ascend through the tunnels, emerge onto the island above, capture a Gukko, and return safely.” Onewa sighed. “Well, thanks just the same, we’ll be going then.” As he turned to leaves, the other Turaga just stared oddly at him. “Are we really stooping so low as to quote ourselves from Web of Shadows?” asked Whenua. “Yeah, and why did he turn into a pile of leaves, anyway? That was random,” Nokama pointed out. Matau shrugged. “Just leave him there.” Then he paused, waiting expectantly. “Get it? ‘Leave?’ Oh, never mind, you’re all too old for my humor, anyway.” “We’re all the same age. And you know it,” Nokama muttered under her breath. “Are you going senile?” “Yep!” exclaimed Matau. Then he frowned. “Wait, what does ‘senile’ mean, anyway? Is it a compliment?” Some time later, the Turaga (including a significantly-less-leafy Onewa) all stood on a boat just off the shore of Ga-Metru, watching Nokama ready the boat for sailing. “Yarr har har, ahoy mateys, me hearties, rum rum landlubbers walk the plank avast ye doubloons and swab the swashbuckler!” declared Nuju out of nowhere. “ ” the other Turaga emoticonned in unison. “Walk the plank, scalawags, yarrrrrrrrrrrr hoist the sails?” Nokama activated her mask for a moment. “He says, ‘What’s everyone staring at? You didn’t know I was bilingual?’” She shrugged. “No, I didn’t. Apparently he speaks Pirate too.” “ ” said Dume. “The more you know…” “Whatever, can we just continue? I’m getting impatient,” complained Matau. “I’m missing my favorite show!” Whenua rolled his eyes. “You’d expect after so many times, he’d get bored of watching himself on TV,” he whispered to Nokama. “For once--and I’m honestly shocked I’m saying this--I agree with Matau,” Onewa said. “Let’s go.” “ ” emoticonned Dume. “IT’S THE APOCALYPSE!” “AHOY ME HEARTIES ME MATEYS ME LANDLUBBERS!” Nuju put in. Suddenly, Vakama ran up from belowdecks. “It’s the apocalypse?” he asked. “Oh no! It’s all my fault it’s the apocalypse! It’s all my fault that--” He was stopped from going any further by Onewa grabbing a randomly appeared piece of pizza and shoving it into Vakama’s mouth. “Mmmmmph mmmm mmmmmmph mph mmph!” Nokama activated her mask, purely out of habit by now. “He said ‘It’s all my fault I can’t talk! It’s all my fault Onewa shoved pizza in--’” “You know? Somehow I think we could’ve figured that out ourselves,” Onewa said sarcastically. “Don’t you start.” “I will start...the boat, so we can get going,” Nokama said. With that, she swung down from the mast and landed perfectly onto the button to start the boat’s engines. What she hadn’t realized was that earlier, Matau had leaned on the speed lever, pushing it all the way to ‘Ludicrous’ speed. The panicked screams of six old geezers (and one old geezette) could be heard across all of Metru Nui. “‘Geezette?’ Really? That has to be the dumbest word I have ever heard in my life,” complained Whenua, a few minutes later. Why is it always the Onu-characters arguing with me? “I don’t know, or care, but I could do a much better job than you…” Oh, shut up. “If we’re quite done arguing with authors and breaking the fourth wall,” said Dume, “we’ve arrived.” Dizzy and nauseous, the seven Turaga stumbled off of the boat onto the sandy shores of Mata Nui. The only good thing about Nokama’s mistake was that it made the trip take much shorter than it otherwise would have. “Well, we’ve made it to Mata Nui,” Dume declared. “Yarr harr fiddle dee dee,” commented Nuju. This time, Nokama didn’t bother translating, as she was still sick from the trip. “Wahoo! Let’s go catch ourselves one fine-fresh Gukko!” shouted Matau. Onewa looked askance at him. “What? I’m excited. Also, ‘askance’ is a cool word.” “You know, technically we didn’t actually make it to Mata Nui, since we were technically already inside Mata Nui,” Whenua pointed out. Dume just glared at him. “You know full well what I meant. Mata Nui the island, not the Spirit.” The BZP member SPIRIT appeared out of nowhere. “Somebody talking about me?” he asked. “No.” said a randomly appeared Takanuva. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!” said an equally random Kopaka. “Somebody needs to get rid of all these time-comedy warp portals,” muttered Dume as he threw all three characters into one of said portals and slammed it shut. Matau bounced over to them. “Can we just get going? Let’s call it the ‘Island of Mata Nui’s Face’ and be done with it. Last one to the Gukko is a rotten egg!” The other Turaga all stared at one another. “Okay, first, eggs don’t exist in BIONICLE, and second, if we’re still living in Metru Nui and this island isn’t barren yet, shouldn’t we not know it’s Mata Nui’s face?” asked Onewa. “It’s a Lewa0111 comedy. Probably best not to think too hard about it,” Whenua pointed out. “Walk the plank, ye blubberbees, yaharr avast!” agreed Nuju wholeheartedly. Together, everyone followed the hyperactive Matau into the jungle. Well, almost everyone. “It’s all my fault we sailed too fast! It’s all my fault I’m sick! It’s all my fault eggs don’t exist in BIONICLE! It’s all my fault that it’s all my fault! It’s all my fault--” “HA! Gotcha,” declared Matau, slamming a randomly appeared net down on top of a Gukko. “Would you get off of me??” demanded the Gukko. “ OH MY MATA NUI A TALKING GUKKO!” exclaimed Matau, jumping backward and falling flat on his rear end. “Talking Gukko? Where!?” demanded the talking Gukko. Then it spotted a Gukko sitting next to it. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!” “AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!” screamed the Gukko. The talking Gukko fell backward from fright, causing its Gukko-shaped mask to fall off and revealing…”Turaga Dume?” asked Matau. “What are you doing here? Why were you wearing a Gukko mask?” “Oh, this is my Kanohi Guhkko, the Mask of Gukko Birds,” he said, indicating the Gukko-shaped Kanohi he had been wearing over his regular mask. “It’s supposed to summon Gukko birds, but it doesn’t work too well.” The regular Gukko from a few paragraphs ago just sat on Dume’s head and laughed uproariously. “Where do you get all these awesome-cool masks, anyway?” “From Masks ‘R’ Us, of course! You should go there sometime. They have a nice deal right now on the Kanohi Ahspirin, the Mask of Pain Relief, which comes in handy whenever my back gives out. Like right now...ouch…” Matau shook his head. “Uh, no thanks, we need to find a Gukko! Hold still…” As he swung the net, the Gukko on Dume’s head squawked and took off. “I just told you I’m not a Gukko, you moron!” said Dume, annoyed. “Stop trying to catch me!” “Not you, there!” Matau excitedly pointed to the Gukko that had taken off. “FOLLOW THAT GUKKO!” Matau, though old, still knew how to navigate Le-Wahi, and he swung nimbly from branch to branch in pursuit of the flying Rahi. That is, of course, until he ran smack into Onewa. “Ouch. Matau, watch where you’re going. I nearly had that Gukko until you got in my way…” “With what?” Matau asked, indicating Onewa’s staff, which had a few pieces of string duct-taped to it haphazardly, only barely resembling a net if you turned your head sideways and squinted while holding a net in front of your face. “You honestly expect to catch a Gukko with that?” “Well, at least I have a net.” “What are you talking abou….” Matau’s voice trailed off as he looked down and realized he was no longer holding his net, just his distinctly string-less Kau Kau staff. “Still. Yours doesn’t even count as a net,” he quickly added, covering up his embarrassment. “Oh yeah? Want to fight me for it?” “You’re on! Arrrrgh!” “Arrrrgh!” The two Turaga charged at each other, though they had seemingly forgotten how old they were and that they couldn’t fight like they once had. Instead, their “fight” consisted merely of the two of them standing in front of each other, taking turns bopping one another over the head with their staffs while shouting insults. Actually, they were barely even insults. “You’re old!” “No, you are!” “No, you!” “No, you!” “No, you!” “No, you!” ...You get the idea. Fortunately for the un-spamminess of this comedy, Nokama quickly emerged from the underbrush, net tucked under her arm, and bopped both of them over the head with her trident. “You’re both old, we’re all the same age, you dolts! Anyway, that has got to be the most pathetic fight I’ve ever seen. Matau, you should know better by your age.” “Wait, if we’re both the same age, why am I the only one who should know better?” Matau complained. “Because Onewa hasn’t had the benefit of me attempting to teach him for however many years it’s been, that’s why. Now let’s get a move on, we’ve got a Gukko to catch here!” As a time-comedy warp portal started to appear, she added, “And no, that wasn’t copied from Star Wars, so if Obi-Wan’s about to lecture me about copyrights, please go away.” With a , the portal closed. “I didn’t know portals could use emoticons,” commented Onewa. Before he’d even finished saying this, another portal opened, from which emerged a large, one-eyed, yellow Rahi. Nokama’s eyes widened. “Drat, knew I’d forgotten something...Yikes!” She quickly ran away as Keetongu chased after her, the Rahi as usual upset because he had copyrights copyrighted. Matau and Onewa looked at each other, shrugging, before giving chase. “Oh, where’s Dume and his Mask of Random Portals when I need him,” complained Nokama as she ran away. Then, out of nowhere, the ground gave way and she, Keetongu, Matau, and Onewa slid down into a network of steadily descending tunnels. “I have to say, that was unexpected.” They all landed in a heap at the bottom of the tunnels, on the floor of a large cavern. Whenua was sitting in the middle, holding his drill proudly. “Well? Aren’t you going to thank me?” he asked. “Thank you? You didn’t exactly get rid of Keetongu, he’s still here,” Onewa pointed out. “Oh. Sorry. Hold on.” Whenua touched the drill with his ground. Nothing happened. “Uhh, I think you got that backwards,” Matau observed. Sheepishly, Whenua touched the ground with his drill. “Baaaahhh,” he added sheepishly, growing wool and dropping to all fours. A tunnel also opened up below Keetongu, and the yellow Rahi went sliding away. “Where did you send him?” asked Nokama. “Someplace he won’t be bothering us. Anyway, how’s the Gukko-hunt coming?” “Well, judging by our distinct lack of Gukko...not good,” Matau said. “Though I don’t see you helping!” Whenua just smiled, having finally gotten over his sheepishness from before. “What do you think I’m doing? I’m lying in wait. See?” He indicated the center of the cavern, across which a gigantic net had been stretched. Nokama facepalmed. “Whenua, have you gone completely senile?” “No, only I’m awesome enough to be senile! You’re cool, but not quite at my level,” Matau interjected. “Please, do us all a favor and shut up,” said the Turaga of Stone. “Whenua,” Nokama continued, “how on earth do you expect to catch a bird Rahi underground?” “I think you mean ‘how inside earth,’ seeing as we’re underground,” said Whenua, “and you need to have some faith. Underground is the best place to go, and the Gukko know it too!” If there was such a thing as an “Extra-Strength Facepalm,” Nokama was doing it now. “But they’re flying, bird Rahi. Something tells me they don’t have the same attitude toward being underground that you do...you’re wasting our time down here.” “Can we at least borrow your net?” asked Onewa. “No, and no!” protested Whenua. “Trust me! I know what I’m doing!” Nokama sighed, seeing as this conversation was going nowhere. “Have fun sitting down here empty-handed,” she told the Turaga of Earth, “we’re going aboveground, where the Gukko will all be--” Her jaw dropped as a flock of Gukko suddenly came whipping around the corner and through the caverns, straight toward Whenua’s net. “Okay, that has to be the single most unlikely thing in the history of...okay, no, second most unlikely. Matau being humble is still more unlikely.” “I am humble! Not my fault I’m the greatest Turaga-Geezer of all time! What does ‘humble’ mean again?” Whenua just smiled in triumph as the Gukko flock soared toward his net. “Unbelievers, you all laughed before, but look at me now! Told you I’d catch...a...Gukko...oh no.” The flock had hit his net all right, and hit straight through it as well. Evidently his net hadn’t been designed for a flock that big. “We’re going to need a bigger net.” “AFTER THOSE GUKKO!” shouted all four Turaga in unison, charging as fast as their legs would allow down the tunnel where the Gukko had disappeared. They ran for what felt like hours, though was actually only two minutes, as they quickly ran out of breath. “I hate being old,” groaned Whenua. “Back in our Toa days, I could’ve caught those Gukko in seconds!” bragged Onewa. “No way, I would have easily beaten you,” said Matau. “Can we please not start another wimp fight again?” Nokama said, interrupting them. “Maybe they’ll be stupid and run into a dead-end cavern, and we can still catch one. We don’t need the whole flock, after all.” Matau and Onewa looked at each other, then at Nokama, then back at each other. “Nah.” “Bet I catch more than you!” Matau crowed. “You’re on!” said Onewa, dodging the swarm of crows that had emerged from Matau’s mouth. “Wait, do those crows count as Gukko?” “ ” emoticonned Nokama. “...I’ll take that as a no…” The four Turaga hobbled, much slower this time, after the Gukko flock. A few times, Whenua tried to use his drill to trap the Gukko, but kept accidentally missing the ground. Eventually, they emerged from the earth into an area of stone, which Onewa really liked. Then they emerged from the area of stone to an area with a lot of groundwater, which Nokama really liked. Then they emerged from the area with a lot of groundwater to an area with breeze blowing through it, which Matau really liked. Then they emerged from the area with breeze blowing through it to an area made entirely of pie, which Tava probably would have liked, except that he isn’t in this comedy. Then they emerged from the area made entirely of pie to an area with sunlight, which Takanuva probably would have liked, but the Turaga didn’t, as it meant the Gukko had escaped from the tunnels. The four Turaga sat, blinking for their eyes to adjust, at the mouth of the tunnel, looking around at the distinctly Gukko-free landscape. “Well, that stunk,” said Onewa. “Will you stop quoting yourself? I already complained about that earlier today,” Whenua groaned. “You can quote yourself if you want, I don’t mind.” “How’s that supposed to help?” “Please, everyone, let’s just head back to the boat,” Nokama suggested. “At the very least, we can tell Dume there’s a flock flying around in unlikely places. Maybe he’s found it!” Having no better ideas, the other Turaga all shrugged and followed her back to the beach. There, they were greeted by an incredibly unlikely sight. Vakama was sitting on the boat’s prow, blaming himself to Keetongu, who was plugging his ears and trying to open up a portal, but apparently failing. “It’s all my fault I’m annoying you! It’s all my fault you can’t hear me anymore! It’s all my fault you have one eye! It’s all my fault…” But that wasn’t what they were shocked about. On a nearby rock, surrounded by the entire flock of Gukko in perfect formations, sat Nuju, chattering in his usual flying Rahi language. “Cheep whistle brzzt cheep cheep.” The Turaga of Ice noticed the others and waved to them. “Click clack clackity click beep!” “‘Wasn’t that fun!?’” demanded an incredulous Nokama, translating Nuju’s words. “Do you mean to tell me you could have done this at any time?” Nuju shrugged. “Bazt wheep whip whop.” “What do you mean, ‘it was funny?’ It most certainly wasn’t, you icy little--” “By the way, I can also speak Matoran just fine,” Nuju said. “WHAT!?” “ ” For once, it was Nokama who was angry. “You little--I can’t believe--what the--WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!?!?!?!?!?!?” (Thanks to the overuse of time-comedy warp portals earlier in the comedy, Pohatu did not appear despite the use of question marks and exclamation points together.) Nuju just chuckled to himself. “As a Turaga, I’m not allowed to be a nerd anymore. How else am I supposed to have fun?” “I’m just mad because pulling pranks is my thing…” muttered Matau. “Either way, I found it quite hilarious, and we do have our Gukko. Shall we get going?” “YOU STUCK-UP TROLLING LITTLE ####### #####ING ########### I’M GOING TO ####### THE ######## RIGHT OUT OF YOUR ##### AND ## BECAUSE ###### UPSIDE-DOWN ################ ### PENGUINS ##### ### ######### ####### GUKKO BUCKETS #################################################### BANANA ### # ## # ######## #### # ITALIAN ###### ## ## ##### GIANT INFLATABLE MONKEY ####### ## ##### #### ### WITH #### ### AND ####### ON TOP!” screamed Nokama, as Matau, Onewa, and Whenua all held her back. “Uhh...I think that means ‘sure,’” said Whenua. Then Onewa bopped Nokama over the head with his staff, knocking her mask off and causing her to faint. “That works.” As they all boarded the boat, Nuju’s Gukko flock obediently landing on the railings, Matau grabbed Vakama and threw him belowdecks. A relieved Keetongu immediately turned and ran as fast as he could back into the jungle. “Believe me, Nuju, we’ll hear what Dume has to say about this,” declared a very annoyed Whenua. Then he looked around suddenly. “Wait, come to think of it, where is Dume, anyway?” Matau glanced up, eyes wide at the sudden realization. “Dume? Uhh...yes...about that…” Somewhere in the jungles of Le-Wahi, a certain Turaga wandered around aimlessly, a net covering his face and blocking his vision. “Hello? Anyone? Hellooooooo...get this thing off of me!” “Okay!” exclaimed a nearby Keetongu with a as he raised a randomly appeared club. “Wait, no, not you, that’s not what I--” THE END Bob the Word Counting Gukko: This comedy has 3,649 words. ~Happy Thanksgiving from Lewa# Studios! Lewa0111 Nuva
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Me as a bionicle character, I have way too many versions of myself. But I like this one alot. Tbh, it's always the element of my characters I have difficulty with, I like sound too, and iron... Her name was originally spelled with an S here, but a Z feels more Zakaz. Pretty obvious why. The anchor-stave is basically physical damage but it also does psychic damage. Like you might feel a strong but short headache. Or if it hits hard enough, you momentarily forget a lot of things. I'm more excited about her vision powers though. It's almost the same as a Kanohi Iden(cause it's my favourite mask power), however it can only be used within the area she can see. So she can either look at an empty 'vessel' and let her spirit go in there immediately.She'll use it freely, but to return she must look at her body again. Or she can project her spirit from her eyes, but only within her field of vision. She can see things her body can't see with this power(look around corners for example), but she can' go there unless her physical eyes are able to see that place too. Bonus: Human Bionicles! If you can't read maybe you can even guess who they are? It's a Toa and a Matoran from '04. I'm not an artist when I'm holding a pen really, I gave up improving drawing years ago, it's not for me. But I still like putting concepts on paper, because I like my own ideas. But what do you think?
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I know I just posted a tiny Toa two days ago, was it? But, seeing as yesterday was my birthday, I did get some gifts, and being the fantastic little brother he is, Kakama knew which sets I didn't have yet, and got me the cheapest of those, the Protector of Jungle. So, without further ado, Matau: Front: http://orig12.deviantart.net/053d/f/2015/229/8/7/tiny_matau_by_b_rex54321-d961dub.jpg Side: http://orig09.deviantart.net/6ede/f/2015/229/2/6/tiny_matau_side_by_b_rex54321-d961eb4.jpg Back: http://orig01.deviantart.net/2c65/f/2015/229/2/a/tiny_matau_back_by_b_rex54321-d961egs.jpg Skeleton: http://orig11.deviantart.net/b9c9/f/2015/229/5/7/tiny_matau_skeleton_by_b_rex54321-d961eh9.jpg Shells: http://orig06.deviantart.net/b1d0/f/2015/229/8/7/tiny_matau_shells_by_b_rex54321-d961ehx.jpg And, progress with the Toa: http://orig09.deviantart.net/33f2/f/2015/229/b/0/tiny_toa_progress_by_b_rex54321-d961gqq.jpg
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Figured since there was one for ice, might as well start a topic about the Le-Toa, I personally find them all enjoyable, and have no favorite.
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- IriuniKongu
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After purchasing Lewa yesterday and using a lot of his pieces for a different MOC, I decided to use what pieces I had left (along with various others in my collection) to make the little guy I felt had to be made: ~~~ [Full] Personally I think the Mask of Jungle works a lot better for Matau than it does for Lewa. But that's just my opinion. [side] That ball joint is supposed to have a "hand" piece attached, but for some reason it's not there. [back] Not a huge fan of the big, clunky feet, but they're the smallest things I have in Keetorange. [uh-oh] Look out, Matau! [“Greetings, Lewa. We have been waiting for you.”] A recreation of a classic moment. ~~~ Questions? Comments. Complaints! What do you think?
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I was fooling around with some designs one day after receiving a massive BrickLink haul, and this was the fruit of my labors. I present Matau, the Prankster, in all of his Turaga glory. https://www.flickr.com/photos/happybuzzsaw/sets/72157651116556555 Flickr^ I can't be bothered right now to make that link prettier. I tried emulating his Turaga robes with the tube there, I think it did a decent job. I actually really enjoy this design, it allows for a good amount of flexibility while capturing the stoutness and shape of a Turaga. What I especially like about his design is how compact and filled in his body is, giving him a solid feel. I don't mind using CCBS, especially in cases like this. I'm working on a hand design that'll give him a thumb. My next Turaga will either be Vakama or Whenua.
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This was part of the concept I had for a Bionicle story based on planet Earth, once a crossover with an obscure cartoon I watched when I was younger. These six people were going to be the new Toa of Earth (the planet, not the element of course) in an almost Power Rangers-type style. See if you can guess what their Element would be? Also, here's Matau as a cat! Well, Matau as a cat thanks to his Kanohi Mahiki. I had a few concepts about the these human Toa having a Turaga: Most of the Turaga have either died, or have been left behind on Spherus Magna, leaving one to migrate to Earth carrying Toa Stones. All six Turaga migrate to Earth disguised as animals, carrying Toa Stones All the Turaga and Matoran migrate to Earth, living on a secluded street in a human city, with a "Mahiki Nuva" hidden somewhere to give them human (or animal) disguises. The Toa Mata/Nuva/Mistika/Phantoka as Turaga (which I drew a couple years ago) migrate to Earth with Toa Stones. I originally had Matau as a beetle but I think cats blend in better in urban environments. One more pic relating to "Toa-on-Earth"; their "morpher"/all-purpose communicator known as the Toa-Comm, formed from the merging of the Toa Stones and the six youths' cellphones. This motorcycle is known as the Toa-Cycle, and it can be augmented with Toa Tools and Kanohi Masks.
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Ehi there! In the past days I had many problems with my Internet Connection, and I had few time to work on my Bionicles. I was able to finish Matau, though, and here he is! Tried to give him a ninja-like appearence, with many black parts and an agile looking body. As Toa Tools, I gave him two blades attached to his arms (I didn't want to break the stealth assassin theme) and two additional twin blades on his waist, and a spiked punch aswell (Ye I know it doesn't look that great, but I had no additional green pieces to use as fingers. I'm planning to replace it with something better) Hope you'll like it! I used a couple of white pieces on this MOC, to give him some little contrast. Still working on him, probably I'll add additional pieces soon. Please make suggestions to improve it, criticism is always appreciated
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I know a lot of you are opposed to HB, and that's fine. I'm working on my own mechanized drawings too... But I like drawing people most, so I'm doing those ideas first. So thats why I present to you the next two installments in my Toa Metru HB designs: Nuju and Matau! Something that should go without saying, but I'll say it anyway: I know we all picture them differently, so we all have a right to an opinion, but these are the way that I envision them. Don't let that stop you from commenting, because I'd love to know what does and doesn't work for you. Nuju: I took some artistic liberty with his crystal spikes since they were hidden since I wasn't REALLY quite sure how a human could easily use them and didn't have a reference on hand at the time of drawing it. I'll draw them properly if I decide to draw him again. Matau: Don't have a lot to say about him. And here's the other threads with Lhikan & Nokama Vakama
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Now sure where this belongs but here it goes. My family used to get Birthday Express magazines in the mail. Birthday Express is a company that sells party supplies and Halloween costumes (which is in Costume Express). My brother and I used to read the magazines and we got a few birthday party supplies from them, including BIONICLE and Knights' Kingdom (anyone remember that?). Well, I one time got these cake toppers from them a few years back, and I had them ever since. I was wondering if anyone else had them or if they knew about them. Maybe some photographic evidence will help. These cake toppers are surprisingly set accurate, with Vakama's head being the one exception. The set-like detail on these guys are astonishing, considering they aren't as tall as a standing roll of toilet paper. The only movable parts on them are on the arms, but action scenes are hard to pull off. I'm rather disappointed that the whole team or even the Visorak were not produced in such a manner. I would have tried to get Nokama, Nuju, Whenua, and Onewa cake toppers if they were ever made. They would add a little more play ability to Vakama and Matau, something these two really needed. So, anyway, here's that photographic evidence I promised earlier. Vakama and Matau, back-to-back Vakama Front View Matau Front View Sword Clash! If you want some more pictures, just say so! These guys aren't going anywhere! And before anyone might ask, I'm not really interested in selling these. They're probably the rarest BIONICLE-related objects I own and you can't buy these anywhere else, not even online (as far as I know). Despite their rarity, I doubt I can get much off of them anyway. So, how about you guys? Do you know of the elusive BIONICLE cake toppers only sold through one distributor? Birthday Express doesn't carry any BIONICLE- related supplies anymore (big shocker!), so there's a chance that these two cake toppers may be the only ones left in existence! Unless you or someone else happens to own a pair of them. What do you have to say?
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So the Mahiki is the mask of Illusion. The Great version allows the wearer to shapeshift into a being of similar mass to the wearer and imitate their voice, but not their powers. Due to Kopaka's use of a Noble Mahiki, it seems a Great version can also make holograms, or something very similar, but I never saw this aspect of the mask's power in its Great form. The shapeshifting aspect seems to genuinely change the user physically, but what of the "hologram" use? Is this a Psionics based power, where the illusion of an image is put into the opponents mind? Or does the mask physically cast an illusion? Judging by the Muaka that Kopaka fought making Kopaka's doppelgangers fuzz and fade when biting them, I imagine the illusion is probably like a hologram, but I'm not 100% sure so I thought I'd ask. And what do we think the range on these Holograms are? Within view, near you, or within any visual range? Could you make these illusions bigger than the limits on shapeshifting? Say, could you make an illusion of a house (not a person), and make your opponent think a house had appeared around them to mess with them? Didn't Takanuva develop an equivalent hologram ability with his light powers? Which do you think is better? Is it just how good Takanuva can get with his powers that's the deciding factor? We only ever saw hologram illusions used to copy the wearer (Kopaka vs. the Muaka, I think that was it), but could this be used for illusions of others? For example, you're a Toa, you know a generic baddie is after you, but you're alone and don't want to fight. So you use you're Mahiki to generate the illusion of 5 other Toa (from your imagination) around you, so when your enemy sees you they will think they are outnumbered 6 to 1, and retreat rather than engaging at all. For greater credibility of the illusion, your holograms shout at your opponent for greater intimidation. Now, I don't think the scenario I suggested is completely possible, but I painted a slightly exaggerated picture to show what I think is unlikely. For one, I don't think projected holograms could make sounds, since the word "illusion" generally refers to visual illusions, but I don't know if there's proof otherwise. Additionally, I don't think you can completely invent a person to shapeshift into, or cast an illusion of; I suspect it must be from memory. Additionally, I don't think illusions can have any physical effect (otherwise it's not an illusion). What's the limit on the number of illusions that can be cast? I suspect it's a product of the users mental ability, but I don't know. 3. If we think that the wearer can only shapeshift or make a hologram of something from memory, do you think they could make a copy of a version of themselves? So could Toa Matau have made himself look Hordika again (not that he would want to)? I'm asking because I had the idea of making your own camouflage. So, say you put on a ghillie suit, or something that made you very well camouflaged, then look at yourself in the mirror, and remember. You put on different types of camouflage (like desert, jungle, urban) and remember them. Later on, if you need to be more discrete, could you essentially shapeshift into your past "version", assuming that version had a similar mass to you now? In a mental fan-fic one of my Toa uses his Mahiki very effectively, including doing what I just described to improve his sniper role ability. Could you shapeshift part of your body? Say you met a Skakdi with clawed feet, and in the middle of a fight you make your foot clawed so you can slash your opponent with a kick (obviously not a power, but a physical transformation that could work.)? Or do you have to completely transform? Could you just "shapeshift" you voice, if you don't want to waste the effort of completely transforming for the sake of just imitating a voice? If you shapeshift into someone, would you be able to do it if you just saw a picture of them from one angle? Could the mask successfully "make up" the rest? Could a Mahiki user using an image would be able to copy the subject's voice too? That's all for now folks!
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The changes between Matau in LoMn and WoS are interesting, and I’ve found myself analyzing him the last times I watched either. In Web of Shadows, Matau suddenly becomes much darker, losing his Airy quirkiness and gaining personality traits more comparable to those of Ta and Po characters. The change itself doesn’t strike me very hard, but when I think about their explanations, Matau’s story suddenly becomes a little sad. In WoS, Matau is always complaining and grumbling about Vakama, and develops a pronounced pessimistic view towards everything. He’s questioning Vakama’s leadership, which I took to be partially due to lack of attention, in addition to his clear impatience towards Vakama's new attitude. He wants to be noticed and acknowledged by the others too. Worse, however, is how he reacts to Nokama. When she comments that they made it to Metru Nui, he replies sarcastically with “whatever”. When they’re in the cocoons, he rolls his eyes when she says it’s not Vakama’s fault. When Nokama says they’ll be fine as Hordika, he outright flips out. All of us know that Matau had feelings for Nokama (screw canon!) in LoMn, and in WoS, she’s always defending and worrying about Vakama. Matau is deeply jealous because of that, and as a result, he becomes aggressive and sarcastic as a defense mechanism, burying the feelings he has for her in an attempt to convince himself that they aren’t there. Every once in a while, Matau attempts some humor (e.g. “Guys, look it’s amazing! It’s Keetonguuuuuu! …. Not.”). These attempts are always met by aggression, sarcasm or a life lesson from Norik. He’s still trying to be himself, but everybody is making it difficult for him, and as a result his defense mechanism kicks in again. When Nuju comments on the sounds of the night, Matau responds with more sarcasm. When he’s told to be patient, he blows up and runs ahead of everyone. Even when Keetongu found something he said funny, Matau covers it up! I never appreciated how much duress Matau was under in this movie when I was a kid. Now that I’m looking at it like this, though, I can appreciate just how hard it all was for the Toa of Air. This movie wasn’t just dark atmospherically and thematically. Vakama wasn’t the only one battling the beast within. There was a dark beast in all the characters, but in Matau, it manifested itself as a psychological issue so ordinary to us that it escaped notice.
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Welcome back, This is a continuation of my series Ascent of Matoran. I derivation of the Ascent of Man picture. This week I'm hitting the matoran of Air, the Le-matoran. The fun part was building a matoran 2.0. I had to dig up my Bohrok sets for that one. Once I finish all six I'll compile them in one final topic. For now enjoy. Please add your comments below. Classic Ascent of Man pose:http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/Ptah/Ascent/Air/ascent_01.jpgUpdated Angular pose: http://www.brickshel...r/ascent_02.jpgEdit Note 1: I fixed the link address for the first image.
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Monsters Run, run away! Toa Metru Matau's legs pounded beneath him as fast as he could force them. He tried flying once more, but the wind not only ignored his command; it laughed in his face.Toa of Air, the breeze whispered, not so great without me, are you? "Why... are you... doing this?" Matau gasped, still running around and around the track. Mangled, wrecked vehicles lay scattered across the floor, tripping him and getting in his way.For fun, came the hissed reply. "Oh, great. For a timemoment, I was troubleworried you were going evilbad." Matau said in between breaths, every syllable dripping sarcasm. "Now I headknow you're just cruelmean."Save your breath for running, Toa, the wind mocked. Run, run away. He's gaining on you. Run. The creature chasing him snarled in rage, saliva dripping off it's six-inch fangs. It ran on all fours, like a Rahi, but the face bore a much more intelligent rage than a mere animal. How Matau knew that, he wasn't quite sure because he dared not look back and check, but he did know it. Hearing the sound of it's footfalls grow nearer, he pushed himself harder to get away. Away to his left, somewhere in the darkness of the track, he heard Vakama yell in pain. "Firespitter?" Matau called back, accidentally slowing his pace. "Matau!" Vakama shouted in anger. "You did it again! You've ruined everything!" The Toa of Air barely dodged a lunge by his pursuer. "Yeah, well, now I feel much less heartinclined to helpgive," he muttered. "Matau?" a lovely female voice cried. "Matau, where are you?" "Nokama!" Matau's heartlight skipped a flash. "I'm here... I'm right here. Where are you?" "Behind you!" Matau struggled to comprehend that and slowed again. "But... the rahicreature--" "--is me!" Nokama called sweetly. "Don't run away! Please." "I don't want to fearrun from you, Nokama, but that thing isn't you." Matau pleaded, still running down the endless test track. For a moment, the only sound was his own light footsteps and his ragged breathing. Then, sobs echoed in every corner of the Le-metru hub. Nokama was crying. Abruptly, Matau planted his feet and turned around. Whatever happened, no matter the danger, he would never leave Nokama alone and crying. With a snarl of hate, the creature sprang on him and ripped his Kanohi Mahiki off with it's bird-like talons. It stank of filth and decay and poison. Pain ripped through his side as it's talons gouged his chest armor. "Nokama!" Matau yelled. "Quickstop! It's me; you're hurting me!" The creature's mouth twisted into what was supposed to be a smile. "She was never here, Toa." The voice was eerily familiar. "There is only you and me. And soon, only me." Matau pitted all his strength against the attacker, but to no avail. Without the wind, he was powerless. "What are you?" he screamed. "Look me in the face and tell me you don't know," the creature chortled mirthlessly. Against his will, against reason, Matau stared straight into it's eyes. "NOOOO!"- - - - - "Matau!" Nokama shook her teammate's shoulder. "Wake up!" He shuddered, opened his eyes and recoiled. "Ahh!" Nokama Hordika rolled her eyes. "Thanks a lot." "Oh, Nokama," Matau groaned, rolling over and sitting up, "thank Mata Nui it's you." "You were screaming. I thought I'd better stop you before you brought all the Visorak on top of us," she chuckled. "Onewa and Nuju have gone to take their turn on watch. You can go back to sleep." "No!" Matau said quickly. "I'm never dreamsleeping again." The Toa Hordika of Water shook her head sympathetically. "Nightmare? We're all getting them. What sort of freak monster was it?" Matau stared. "How'd you know it was a monster?" Nokama smiled drily. "Because every other time I've woken you up, you've asked me if I do it because I care." "Oh, yeah. That." "So what kind of Visorak was getting you?" "Not a Visorak, a monster," the Toa Hordika of Air corrected. "A very scarybad, evilgrin monster." "Makuta," Nokama muttered, cursing under her breath. Matau shook his head. "Worse. I was the monster."-S