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About Time: Review Topic


Wotz

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I have a joke for you.

 

Who has two thumbs, and is writing an epic set in the same continuity as Vorex's at a point in time about six months before his epics begin?

 

THIS GUY

 

so yeah review it pl0x

 

Disclaimer: This epic is in no way affiliated with or inspired by the movie About Time, which totally stole my title, the scoundrels. I honestly had no idea of the movie's existence at the time of this title being thought up, so deal with it.

Edited by Wotsiznaim
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That was a good read. Things definitely seem interesting no matter what angle you look at it from. At first I was thinking of a Vorox or a Kestora until you revealed it was Lehvak-Kal, which is much cooler.

 

Traxin's introduction had some great humor, no obvious gags, just amusing thoughts and descriptions of things. As for Zarrus, I can't tell if he's good or evil. I'm guessing that was the point.

 

The chess thing was funny too, I never could beat a chess bot. I never knew much about Trakuda from the RPG, but he seems like an interesting character to have around.

 

The ending reminded me of The Hobbit.

 

Overall, a great start, can't really find anything I think is bad. I'd say your biggest challenge right now is simply keeping it this good or better.

Pk57sNJ.jpg

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oh

was I meant to post here

 

Yeah well overall this stuff was pretty good. I mean, I think you chose a pretty nice fan continuity to set it in, definitely one of my favourites, and past my shameless self-praise this is actually pretty awesome and you better finish it.

 

you know

finishing an epic

i bet that's a new thing

:3

 

But yeah, man, I've related my thoughts on this stuff to you during the approval process and all I can say is keep up the good work. I'm glad this has been posted, regardless; it's about time.

 

- Indecisive Individual

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[BZPRPG PROFILES]

Nikarra - Kaelynn - Ronan - Muir - Donal Aerus - Montague - Kira - KouraLearu - Alteora - Fuacht - Caana Nessen - Merrill

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Traxin's introduction had some great humor, no obvious gags, just amusing thoughts and descriptions of things. As for Zarrus, I can't tell if he's good or evil. I'm guessing that was the point.

 

The chess thing was funny too, I never could beat a chess bot. I never knew much about Trakuda from the RPG, but he seems like an interesting character to have around.

 

The ending reminded me of The Hobbit.

 

Overall, a great start, can't really find anything I think is bad. I'd say your biggest challenge right now is simply keeping it this good or better.

 

Yes indeed, Zarrus is intended to be rather enigmatic at this point.

 

The Trakuda here is different in many ways from his RPG self, and not just due to the different setting. His differing personality traits will come to light later in the story.

 

Yeah I noticed it was somewhat Hobbit-y upon re-reading it, but it was not a deliberate reference at first.

 

If I'm good, and I can be, these hopes of yours should be fulfilled.

 

 

you know

finishing an epic

i bet that's a new thing

:3

 

Sorry, did you want me to find a different fan continuity or...? :sly:

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  • 5 weeks later...

Meh. Worth reading. There is a minor spelling error in the first line of chapter 1. Other than that good.

 

you know

finishing an epic

i bet that's a new thing

:3

 

*Sarcasm mode active* OMG, it is SO NEW FOR SOMEONE TO END A STORY HERE *Sarcasm mode disengaged*

 

EDIT: No spelling error, just my ADHD mind! :D

Edited by Ora_unit_SR388

-Insert deep message to prove I am alive here-

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