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The Wimp Waker


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All right, since there's split opinions on people who wanted either a Skyward Sword spoof or Wind Waker spoof, here's what I'm going to do. This is the skeletal script for the Wind Waker parody originally planned to be next. I call it this because for the most part, this is how I figure out what the story is going to be like. I just write down ideas on a word document in chronological order to serve as my basis. As I go along writing, I can eventually connect the dots between sequences to fill in gaps, thus making a full-fledged chapter.


Since people want to see Wind Waker so badly, here is a one-shot chapter of it, even shorter than a Skyward Stooge chapter. I will eventually make a full version, but so people will stop bothering me about it and telling me bad things, here's this to hold you all over, so you can get an idea of what it could have been like had SS not been the next one I chose to make.



EDIT: Okay, because I'm a really stupid moron who didn't check the topic name, this topic will now be where I post the future Wind Waker Spoof. So I guess come back here after Skyward Stooge is done and be ready for a new adventure. So consider this post Chapter 0.




So those who mist feel lost, this takes place after the Dimwit of Time, when Lewa (DOT) leaves back to his own timeline, thus creating a whole new timeline alongside the one he left behind. He momentarily existed in both of them, but then crossed over with Navi, becoming separated from the elements that made him a hero, defeating Antroz and having the Triforce of Courage. Although when he returns home, the Triforce senses his presence, thus it breaks apart, giving Lewa back the Triforce of Courage and unknowingly giving Nokama and Antroz their respective Triforce pieces. Lewa stops Antroz from going through with his plans, all is well (until Twilight Delinquent when everyone finds out Antroz has the Triforce of Power).


Meanwhile, in the other timeline, Antroz was imprisoned in the Sacred Realm (along with Toa Tuyet for whatever reason), and everything is just pinky fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows until Antroz breaks out and causes chaos. Since Dume is too old and senile, Nokama's uncle ends up taking his place as king for the time being after she asks for him personally. The newly anointed King Lhikan has trouble trying to figure out what to do, so he and everyone else tries to appeal to the goddesses and the Triforce, hoping for some solution when they realize there is no hero to come and save them. Ultimately, the kingdom is drowned and everyone's lives sacrificed. That is, save for Antroz and King Lhikan...





This is but one of the legends the Matoran talk about. Just one. Not two. Not three. Not seventy-eight. Just one…


Long ago, there existed a kingdom where a golden power lay hidden… in the middle of the field for everyone to see. It was a prosperous land blessed with green forests, tall mountains, LOTSA Spaghetti, and peace. But mostly LOTSA Spaghetti. But one day a wicked burn victim of great evil found the golden power and took it for himself because he figured “Hey, why not?” and because it was just right there in front of him, ready and ripe for the taking. With its strength at his command, he spread darkness everywhere, all within the time span of exactly seven days. But then, when all hope died and the hour of doom seemed at hand…


A young Toa of Air appeared as if out of nowhere… when in reality he was just locked up in a temple for seven days. He brought fire with him. Wielding the blade of evil’s bane, he sealed the dark one away with some annoying Southern Belle girl and brought back light to the land… because taking him down right then and there to end his evil forever was not an option. Just seal him away in some realm of light with some hillbilly girl. The Toa who traveled through time to save the land was then named the Hero of Time. You know, because it made sense at the time. His tale was passed through generation until it became legend. Because no one wrote anything down, so no one could really recall things exactly. But then… there came a day when a fell wind began to blow across the kingdom. The great evil that everyone thought was gone forever and sealed away by the hero wasn’t actually gone forever. He and his mismatched partner returned, and he was eager to resume his dark designs. Big surprise there.


Faced by an onslaught, everyone could only appeal to the Great Spirit and his three subordinates… because no one likes Hylia apparently, but enough of her. In their last hour as doom drew nigh, they left their future in the hands of Fate. Unfortunately, Fate wasn’t in a good mood that day and she didn’t help them. What became of this kingdom? None remain who know… which brings up the question of how I’m able to relay this story to you all…


Bionicle: Wimp Waker -- Condensed


*Somewhere on Outset Island, there was going to be something big going down…*


Idris: Wake up, big brother!


Lewa, getting up: Please exit my life and never return.


Idris: I just drank 28 gallons of soda.


Lewa: That’s really deep-interesting. Not. Why are you here?


Idris: Grandma said she’s got your birthday present.


Lewa: You mean nothing? Like every year before?


Idris: Yeah. And when I asked her, she kicked me out of the house.


Lewa: Then annoy-bug the neighbors.


Idris: I don’t think they like me. :(


Lewa: You’re weird. Give me the telescope. I’m going to look at things while you ramble on.


*As Idris rambles on with her semi-non-coherent rambling, Lewa sees a giant mutant Nivawk with something in its claws, as well as a pirate ship shooting at it. What caught Lewa’s attention was a Toa of water in the talons of the bird. As the bird was hit by the cannons of the ship, the girl was released and she fell to her doom.*


Lewa: Well, that’s not something you see every day. Look at the fat bird.


Idris: You should go over there and help the girl.


Lewa: You’re still here? Well, you might be right. And she does look cute.


Idris: Cuter than me?


Lewa: Yes. It’s not that difficult, you know. Even that “Toa Tuyet” I read about is cuter than you.


*Lewa went up the boring path to the top of the mountain where he met this newcomer who didn’t actually fall to her doom. She just fell a very long ways.*


Lewa: Who are you?


Nera: I could ask you the same thing.


Lewa: Common island dweller.


Nera: Okay. So where am I?


Lewa: Outset Island. And hey, I’m asking the questions here!


Brutaka: Miss Nera, I finally found you.


Nera: D’oh, Brutaka, I thought I told you to never go blurting out stuff.


Brutaka: I’m sorry, Miss Nera, but you know how I get when I’m hungry.


Nera: I’ll let you off.


*Another boring walk later.*


Lewa: So who are you?


Brutaka: I’m a pirate.


Nera: Brutaka!


Lewa: He’s a pirate?


Brutaka: I’m a pirate.


Nera: Stop talking! Both of you!


Brutaka: We’re all pirates.


Nera: Oh, Brutaka, you’re so slow in the head.


Idris, from afar: Big brother!


Lewa: Oh, it’s you. Hey, I found some pirates.


Nera: No, I’m not.


Brutaka: Yes, you are.


*Nera smacks Brutaka on the head and Brutaka cries out.*


Brutaka: Is there anyone out there as unlucky as me?


*In the irony of his words, the giant bird swoops in and takes Idris.*


Idris: Bye, big brother!


Lewa: Oh, no, you don’t, you stupid bird! You’re not going to force me on some epic trek-quest!


*Lewa runs off the edge of a cliff (SUICIDE IS NOT THE ANSWER!!), but Nera grabs him before he falls.*


Nera: By the goddesses, you’re a moron…


*Somewhere in the heavens…*


Nayru: Think we should have chosen someone else to be our hero?


Din: Maybe we should stop choosing them like this.


Farore: Puppies make me smile!


Nayru and Din: Shut up, Farore!


*Back on Outset…*


Nera: Say what?


Lewa: You heard me. I gotta get my sister before she does something dumb.


Nera: Like jump off a cliff?


Lewa: Exactly.


Nera: Okay. It’ll give me a good excuse to use my new catapult.


Lewa: What?


Nera, sly: Yup. *She hits Lewa on the head and knocks him out*


*Before he knew it (and he didn’t), Lewa was dumped onto a catapult and sent flying through the air, sailing through the sky for many days and nights until he smacks his face right into a walled fortress.*


Lewa: Well, good thing I’m an adorable cartoon character. Or else I could have died.


Nera/ Pirates’ charm: Lewa, can you hear me?


Lewa: Stop the voices in my head!


Nera: No, check your pocket.


*Lewa does so and sees the charm.*


Lewa: Nera? What is this glowing-charm?


Nera: It lets me talk to you. I put it in your pocket while you were out cold.


Lewa: Oh… okay. You didn’t take funny picture of me as well, did you?


Nera, nervous: Uh, no?


Nera, thinking: Don’t say anything, Nera. He could be on to you and your secret crush on him…


Lewa: Oh, that’s good. Where’s my sword?


Nera: At the top of the fortress.


Lewa: D’oh, kraata slime.


*Later at the top of the fortress.*


Lewa: I found you! Now to see who is behind this!


*Lewa opens the door.*


Lewa: I knew you were behind this!


*Lewa points over at the cage with the other various young Matoran girls.*


Lewa, calmly: Because who else would be behind a dungeon door?


Idris: Big brother!


*Just then, the Nivawk King swoops in, plucks Lewa, and delivers him to his master.*


Master: Drop him.


Tuyet, southern accent: Hi, there, cutie pie!


*The Nivawk King drops/flings him away like nothing. And after miraculously surviving, Lewa wakes up and meets a frightening new face.*


King of Red Lions: Hey, how’s it going?


Lewa: Talking boat! How?!


KORL: Magic.


Lewa: Oh.


KORL: To save your sister, you must defeat the evil dark master.


Lewa: What’s his name?


KORL: Antroz.


Lewa: What’s he like?


KORL: Well, you see, Antroz was a naughty boy who tried to take over the world until he got defeated and imprisoned with a friend of mine-- I mean… some insane lady.


Lewa: Okay.


KORL: Adventure!


Lewa: Hey, look…


*Lewa stands up, pulls out a white mask with a red disk from out of nowhere, and puts it on.*


Lewa: Amon a boat.


KORL: … Let’s go.


*2 Temples later…*


Lewa: Can we get to Antroz now?




*1 mismatched sidequest later…*


Lewa: Can we go get Antroz now?




*1 stupid tower later…*


Lewa: Can we go get Antroz now?


KORL: Not until you get the Master Sword?


Lewa: Where?


KORL: In Metru Nui!


*1 deep-sea diving trip later…*


Lewa: I found it!


KORL: Good! Now we can go! To the Forsaken Fortress!


*Back at the Forsaken Fortress…*


Idris: Big brother!


Lewa: Can you be less loud?


Nera: I’ll take it from here!


Lewa: Why are you here?


Nera: To take these girls back to their fathers and get rich, that’s why.


Lewa: Uh… Okay. What about my sister?


Nera: We’ll just keep her onboard until you’re done here.


Nera, thinking: That clueless look in his eyes is so…


Lewa: Okay.


*One silly boss fight later.*


Lewa: Okay, Antroz, I killed your angry chicken!


Antroz: Surprise backhand!


*Antroz backhands Lewa.*


Tuyet: Hey, y’all, Tuyet here.


Antroz: I don’t like you!


Nera: Don’t worry, my love, I will save you!


Antroz: Get away from me!


*As Antroz gets ahold of her wrist, his Triforce of Power starts to glow.*


Antroz: My Triforce is resonating. I have you now, Princess Nokama!


Nera: But… I’m not Nokama.


Antroz: Don’t lie to me, Nokama. You’ve pulled this trick before with that whole “Nessk” disguise. Well, it won’t work now!


*Just then, Lewa and Nera are randomly rescued by some filler characters I did not portray in this whatsoever. And then Valoo shows up and torches Antroz’s quarters.*


Antroz: I’m on fire! Again! Why does this keep happening to me?!


Tuyet: Is it hot in here, or is it just me? Nope, it’s just me. *giggles*


Antroz: You daft twit! Are you that oblivious? We’re going to die here and all you can do is talk about how attractive you are! I’d rather go… marry… Elitha than continue being here with you!


Tuyet: You admit you find me attractive!


Antroz: I said no such thing!


Tuyet: Admit it, sugar, you like me.


Antroz: Can’t you see the fire?!


Tuyet: Yup. It’s in your eyes, darlin’.


Antroz: *sighs* Me mind on fire. Me soul on fire. Feeling hot hot hot. Party people, all around me feeling hot hot hot.


*One travel back to the sunken city of Metru Nui later…*


Lhikan: I’m the king of Metru Nui and the King of Red Lions! And you are really Princess Nokama!


*Lhikan takes his part of the Triforce of Wisdom, takes Nera’s necklace, and it becomes the whole Triforce of Wisdom, which changes Nera to Nokama.*


Nokama: I’m a princess!


Lewa: I’m confused.


Uli: I’m pregnant!


Lewa: Who are you?!


Lhikan: Now we must leave Nokama in this empty basement while we go save the world.


Nokama: Will I be safe?


Lhikan: … Yes.


Nokama: I totally trust you!


Lhikan: Now let us go, Lewa.


Lewa: Whatever you say, Kingy.


Nokama: Bye, my love!


Lewa: What?


Nokama: Bye… my… Lewa?


Lewa: … Bye, my Nokama?


Nokama, sighs happily: Take care.


*Lhikan teleports back up as Lewa goes up the stairs.*


Lewa: Why are you quick-warping?


Lhikan: Because I’m rich! Walking is for poor people!


Lewa: Okay. Bye again, Nokama.


Nokama: Bye again, my love.


*Back on the surface world*


KORL: Now we have to go through two more temples to awaken the sages and restore power to the Master Sword.


Lewa: How hard can that be?


*2 temples and some random sidequests later…*


Lewa: That was annoying! Now what?!


KORL: We must go back to Metru Nui!


Lewa: Good.


KORL: But first we need the Triforce of Courage!


Lewa: Okay, that’ll be easy!


*a super long time later…*


Lewa: Okay, I got these stupid Triforce charts. Can we find the Triforce of Courage now?


KORL: No! Now we must get them deciphered!


Lewa: By who?


Tingle: Ti-iiiiiiiiinnnnnnngllllle!!!


Lewa: Aw, darn it!!


*one spent fortune later.*


Lewa: Now what?


KORL: Go find the pieces of the Triforce!


Lewa: Wait, you mean this isn’t like some giant map?


KORL: Nope. When the Hero of Time left, he broke the Triforce into eight convenient pieces.


Lewa: I hate you, Hero of Time! I hope when you got back to your own time, that you broke the Triforce just by being there and made Antroz get the Triforce of Power as a divine prank!


*one month later…*


Lewa: I got it all! Now can we go!?


KORL: Yes!


Lewa: Finally!


*Later still in Metru Nui…*


Lhikan: Oh, no, Antroz broke in here and kidnapped Nokama after we left her here defenseless and alone in this easily accessible basement!


Lewa: What are the odds of that?!


*In Nokama’s room…*


Antroz: It’s taking a long time for Lewa to get in here. While I’m waiting, how about I see what Nokama’s dreaming about?


*Insert some random Toa Nokama X Toa Lewa pairing montage with some stupid romance song of your choosing.*


Antroz: No! Take it away, take it away! My mind has been ruined forever!


Tuyet: Aw, come on, sweetie pie, it couldn’t have been all that bad.


Antroz: Then why don’t YOU take a look?!


Lewa: Antroz!!


Antroz: I’ve been waiting for you, Hero! You definitely are the Hero of Time reincarnated. I wouldn’t have expected less.


Lewa: Enough talk, fight now!


Antroz: Fine!


*Antroz throws a cloak over himself, and then suddenly these long, sharp claws break forth, and soon there is a giant dragon puppet towering before him.*


Puppet Antroz: I got me strings to make me move.


Lewa, screams: A PUPPET!!


*Lewa takes out his fire arrows and sets the thing on fire, causing it to die a terrible terrible death.*


Antroz: You fool! You’ve ruined my dreams of opening a puppet theater when I retire! Well, if that’s how you’re going to play, fine! I’ll just take the obsessed girl with me!


Tuyet: Wait for me, sugar!


Lewa: You won’t sneak-pass by me that easily, puppet boy!


*Later on top of the tower…*


Antroz: My kind has been through a lot of pain and suffering over the years. Chancellor Teridax, Sorceror Mutran, so many more have met terrible fates at the hands of Toa! Now I am going to take back what is mine!


Lewa: Huh?


Antroz: Surprise backhand!


*Antroz back-hands Lewa, knocking the sword out of his hand (which plunges into the ground about 2 inches away from the unconscious Nokama), knocking him unconscious, and allowing Antroz to grab his arm.*


Antroz: O Powerful Triforce, come to me!


*The crests on Antroz, Lewa, and Nokama’s hands glow, and the Triforce itself appears before Antroz.*


Antroz: I want you to make me king!


*Before Antroz can go touch it, Lhikan touches it first.*


Lhikan: He who touches the Triforce gets his wish granted. That is what you said, is it not, Antroz?


Tuyet, gasp: Then… that means… Antroz is no match for THE KING.


Lhikan: I wish for hope and future for these young ones! And may you, me, and Tuyet drown with Metru Nui…


Tuyet: Say what?


*Antroz sounds like he’s crying at first, but turns out he’s laughing? Why? Probably because he lost his mind… or what was left of it. Around that time, Nokama and Lewa wake up.*


Tuyet: Uh… I’m not the only one who heard that, right?


Antroz: Fine! Be that way! Go ahead and waste your wish! I’ll show you what it’s worth!


Lewa: Surprise Sword attack!


Antroz: What?!


*Lewa sneaks up on Antroz and… turns him into the new Pedestal of Time.*


Antroz: Not… again…


*Antroz falls to his knees, groaning in agony.*


Antroz: The ambulance… it is coming…


*At that moment, Antroz turns to stone with the sword still lodged in his head.*


Tuyet: Now what will I do with my life without someone to adore me?!


Lhikan: You have lost, Tuyet.


Tuyet: NOOOOO!!


Lhikan: I have been bound to this kingdom for centuries, much like Antroz… As my punishment for being a terrible ruler, I will now drown myself with my kingdom.


Nokama: No! You can come with us! No one has to know about how terrible of a ruler you are!


Lhikan: I must.


*Before Lewa and Nokama could protest, they each become a bubble boy and bubble girl and float back up to the surface as the remnants of Metru Nui become flooded. Lewa reaches out to Lhikan, and Lhikan reaches out back, but Lewa is swept away and soon Lhikan and Tuyet fade away.*


*Lewa and Nokama (who is Nera again??) awaken out at sea, to find Nera’s pirate crew and ship waiting for them.*


Nera: Darn it! I was hoping we’d get marooned on a deserted island together!


Lewa: The what?


Nera: I mean… hooray, we’re saved.


Lewa: Oh, yeah, we are. So what do we do after this?


Nera: You could take me out.


Lewa: What?


Nera: Out… to sea… to find a new land.


Lewa: Oh. That’s a good idea. He did say something about wanting us to be the future.


Nera: Wherever we go, destiny will decide.


Idris: Big Brother!


Lewa: Shut up, Idris! No one likes you!

Edited by ShadowBionics
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