Lewa0111 Nuva Posted November 4, 2013 Share Posted November 4, 2013 (edited) Another old comedy for you all! This one was also released back in '06, a little later than TNI. It is a spoof of the first Bionicle Legends novel, Island of Doom, but was eventually abandoned when the idea for QFTCJP/Comedicle came around. Of my early comedies, this one is probably the least awful, but that isn't saying a whole lot. Ah, well, here it is anyway. (NOTE: Everything below this point is copied verbatim from the original) Well, this is my latest comedy, and the first ever spoof of Bionicle Legends#1! WARNING: CONTAINS SPOILERS.Since this is never been done before, it should be original! And so...CHARACTERS--Island of Metru NuiTHE OLD GEEZERS (I mean, Turaga)Dume--Elder of Metru Nui, who's name happens to sound like 'Doom', and was once impersonated by Makuta...blah blah blah...you know that already.Nuju, Vakama, Nokama, Onewa, Whenua, Matau--Former Toa Morons--er, METRU, and Turaga of the villages of the island of Metru Nui (except Vakama, whose home got blown up by Rahkshi)Vakama: Nuju: Hey, Lewa0111! How come we don't get our own bio things?Lewa0111: I don't know, ask GregF.GregF: THE MATORANJaller--A guy with a Lhikan's Hau, he now serves as Captain of the (nonexistent) Ta-Metru Guard, and is also extremely dumb (but not as dumb as Krekka)Krekka: Muuuuuuuuhhhhhh... Nidhiki: It's 'Duh', not 'Muh'!Krekka: Muuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhh... Matoro--Translator of Turaga Nuju, and a nerd.THE TOATahu: That's Toa NUVA!Takanuva--Toa of WeirdnessTahu Nuva--Toa Nuva of FireGali Nuva--Toa Nuva of WaterPohatu Nuva--Toa Nuva of StoneOnua--Reader #1: Sheesh, we get the idea! '__ Nuva, Toa Nuva of __' every time! Just get to the book!Lewa0111: Okay, okay...ISLAND OF VOYA NUITHE MATORAN--Garan--Onu-Matoran leader of the resistanceBalta: Hey! Aren't the red guys supposed to be the leader?Garan: Yeah, but Lego is trying to get the other ones to sell better.Balta: Huh?Garan: Never mind.Balta: Whatever.Kazi--Ko-Matoran who is also a nerd.Velika--Po-Matoran inventor(and also the first non-carver Po-Matoran)Dalu--Ga-Matoran FighterPiruk--Le-Matoran CrybabyTHE PIRATES PIRAKAZaktan--Green leader of the Piraka , made up of thousands of Rice Krispies ™Hakann--Crimson-armored Piraka, who likes to jump into lavaReidak--Ebon (which isn't really a color) -armored Piraka, who is dumbER than Krekka and Jaller combinedReidak: Luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... Lewa0111: Exactly.Avak--Tan-armored PirakaAvak: Hey! They get all kinds of cool-sounding colors, and I get 'Tan'? What kind of cool color is that? 3 LETTERS, people! Come on!Lewa0111: Shut up, or I'll stuff you in a Dumpster.Avak: Thok--White-armored Piraka who likes to bite boulders in half for fun.Vezok: That's my line!Lewa0111: Get out of here.Narrator: And so, that was how Vezok got removed from the Character List.Reader #2: Really? I have always wondered about that... Chapter 0: Introduction.*At a private conference in the middle of nowhere*Tahu: Am I in trouble? I hope not!Gali: You big crybaby, you're not in trouble? We just saved the island!Tahu: I'm in trouble! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!Gali: Whatever.Kopaka: ...Onua: You know, you're allowed to say other stuff besides, '...'Kopaka: ...Dume: SHUT UP!Kopaka: ...Dume: That means YOU, Kopaka!Kopaka: Dume: Thank you. One thousand years ago, the Great Spirit Metru Nui--Nokama: It's MATA Nui!Dume: Yeah. I knew that, I was just...testing you!Lewa: Sure...Dume: Anyway, it is said that you Toa Nuva are destined to one day awaken Met--er...MATA Nui and restore peace to the galaxy.Obi-Wan Kenobi: Hey! That's the Jedi mission! Go find your own!Dume: Where'd you come from?Obi-Wan: *Obi-wan disappears*Dume: Okay, now that that's over, I have studied the stars (which are really not there, since we are underground) and have consulted with Turaga Nuju, who agrees with my findings.Vakama: He's the only one...Dume: ANYWAY, he'll tell you now.Nuju: Click click whistle beep weird sound!Pohatu: Umm...why did he say 'weird sound'?Matoro: Because that's the way GregF made it. Anyway, he says that the stars say...GALI HAS A CRUSH ON LEWA?!?!?!?!?Gali: SFX: SLAP!Matoro: AAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!1!!one1 *flies out the window*Dume: Anyway, that wasn't what I was talking about. I meant the other one, *in monotone* the one about Mata Nui dying.All Toa: WHAT?Dume: So? It's been in METRU NUI TODAY ™ for weeks!GregF: There are no magazines in BIONICLE! Except the Lego Magazine. You can read that.Lewa0111: Get out of here before I sic my lawyer on you.GregF: AAHHHH! Lawyers! RUN! *hides in a corner*Lewa0111: I love doing that.Gali: Anyway, what can we do to save him?Dume: Just get rid of the lawyers.Gali: I meant Mata Nui. SFX: SLAP!Dume: AAAAAAAAaaaaaaaahhhhhhh! *lands on top of Matoro*Lewa: Great. Now we don't know how to save him. I'm mad at you.Gali: No, don't be! I'll undo it.!PLAS :XFS*orotaM fo pot no sdnal* !hhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAA :emuDGali: Is that better?Lewa: Of course!Dume: SHUT UP!! As I was saying, all you have to do is go to the Island of Doom and find a Mask of Light.Takanuva: I found it! *pulls mask off his face, and turns back into Takua* Aww!Dume: I meant LIFE, not LIGHT.Takanuva: *puts mask back on* Is this it? *holds up LIFE board game*Dume: Get him out of here.Gali: Okay! SFX: SLAP!Takanuva: AAAAAAAAaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!! *lands on top of Matoro and Dume's shadow*Everyone: Thank you!Tahu: Anyway, what happens if we get an owie? Those hurt! *trips* Mommy! Owowowowowowow! Wait--I don't have a Mommy! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!Gali: You big baby!Tahu: WAAAAAAAHHHH!!Dume: Do not cry for this task, Tahu. The stars are there for all to see, including your nonexistent mommy.Lewa: Tell Takanuva to come with us!Dume: No! If Takanuva goes with you, he will annoy you to death before you reach the mask! He must stay here and annoy me instead.Toa: Next: Chapter One! Edited December 15, 2013 by Lewa0111 Nuva Quote My Script Comedies: | The Nuva Inn Remake | Ask Matau! Remake (ACCEPTING QUESTIONS!) | My Prose Comedies: | The BZ-Nui Hack Wars | Mata Nova | ANNOUNCEMENT: The Nuva Inn is BACK IN BUSINESS!! (See my blog for more info on my writing projects) ANNOUNCEMENT 2: Looking for voice actors and artists/animators for an upcoming video project! PM me if interested! 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Lewa0111 Nuva Posted December 15, 2013 Author Share Posted December 15, 2013 Chapter 1! (finally!)*On Voya Nui*Lewa: Hey! How come we went from us to a totally random island that has nothing to do with the story so far?Lewa0111: Because GregF wrote it like that.Lewa: Oh, okay.Lewa0111: And you're not here!Lewa: Aww! *Lewa disappears**Garan is walking around*Garan: I'm thirsty!GregF: Hey! Bionicles don't drink water!Garan: They don't? Then explain this scene, of me finding water!GregF: Umm...Garan: HYPOCRITE!GregF: Garan: Anyway...Ooh! *sees canister* A canister! I wonder if an evil Piraka will come out, join up with 5 others, pretend to be Toa, then enslave everybody but me and 5 other Matoran with their zamor spheres! Then maybe some Toa Inika will come and save us! ...Never mind, that's stupid.*Garan goes to the canister and Hakann comes out*Hakann: I'm Hakann, Toa of Fire!Garan: Yeah right. What big teeth you have!Hakann: All the better to smile with!Garan: And what big eyes you have!Hakann: *fries Rahi with his eyes* All the bettter to make Kikanalo stew with!Garan: And what big...weird...spiny...THING you have!Hakann: All the better to make me unable to turn my head like the other Bionicles!Garan: Hakann: Let's go to the village.Garan: Okay! *They go to the village**Somewhere else, Piruk is running*Piruk: AAH! I'm running!Zaktan: Ooookay...Piruk: AAH! Scary green monster! Zaktan: Toa Zaktan. Here to help.Piruk: Zaktan: Crybaby!Piruk: Zaktan: Let's go.Piruk: Zaktan: SHUT UP!!one!!111!1!!monroe!!1*piruk runs away**At a canister*Vezok: I'm stuck! HAKANN! GET ME OUT OF HERE!Thok: He's busy.Vezok: THOK! GET ME OUT OF HERE!*Thok shoots him with his ice gun*Vezok: AVAK! GET ME OUT OF HERE!Avak: Pie!Vezok: AVAK! I'll give you a pie if you get me out of here!Avak: Pie! *opens Vezok's canister*Vezok: Here you go.Avak: Pie!!Vezok: Let's go.Avak: Vezok: THE END Quote My Script Comedies: | The Nuva Inn Remake | Ask Matau! Remake (ACCEPTING QUESTIONS!) | My Prose Comedies: | The BZ-Nui Hack Wars | Mata Nova | ANNOUNCEMENT: The Nuva Inn is BACK IN BUSINESS!! (See my blog for more info on my writing projects) ANNOUNCEMENT 2: Looking for voice actors and artists/animators for an upcoming video project! PM me if interested! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lewa0111 Nuva Posted February 28, 2014 Author Share Posted February 28, 2014 (edited) Chapter 2 (Cool! I finally found it!)*Back with the Toa Nuva...*Tahu: Hey! What's with the random island that has no connection to us whatsoever?Lewa0111: I already answered that question. Lewa asked it last chapter. Now chill!Kopaka: Chill? Okay! *freezes Gahu*Tahu: HEY! *burns Kopaka*Kopaka: Dume: You guys are weird.Kopaka: Dume: Whatever. Let's keep going.Lewa: This place smells like brussels sprouts. I HATE brussels sprouts! EEw!Everyone except Lewa and Kopaka: Kopaka: Onua: Will he ever stop doing that?Pohatu: I doubt it.Lewa: Hey! When is International Lewa Day?Tahu: Wow, that just came out of nowhere.Lewa: Seriously, when is it?Lewa0111: I don't know, shut up!Lewa: Gali: Are we there yet?Dume: No.Tahu: Are we there yet?Dume: No.Lewa: Are we there yet?Dume: No!Onua: Are we there yet?Dume: No!Pohatu: Are we there yet?Dume: NO!Kopaka: *Translation: Are we there yet?*Dume: *Translation: NO!!*Everyone else: Vakama: Are we there yet?Dume: Yes.Vakama: REALLY?Dume: No.*Five days later...*Nokama: Hey! Why'd we stop?Dume: Because we're there.Tahu: Hey! Those cylinders look like the ones we came in...Do you think they were also made in China?Gali: Pohatu: I'm not getting into one of those things again...I remember what happened last time.Onua: You do? You were only 1 years old!*FLASHBACK**Pohatu is a baby and is sucking his thumb and holding a rattle in a canister**END FLASHBACK*Everyone: Aww...Pohatu: Okay, maybe I don't remember...Onua: Did we come here from our journey above?Dume: Not here--GregF: Hey! You can't give away that info yet! It's not authorized!Dume: But I stole your story bible!GregF: Lewa0111: I'll send my lawyers!GregF: AAH! LAWYERS! RUN!! *runs to Australia where he grows a beard and changes his name to Craig Varshtey*Kopaka: Matau: Oookay…well, we’d like to stay and chat, but—heh heh—we’ve gotta go!Nokama: Stop quoting WOS!Matau: Sorry.Dume: As I was saying, you may have come here from somewhere much like this one.Onua: Wait a sec—I thought we fell to Mata Nui from the heavens!Dume: Well, even GregF makes mistakes sometimes.Onua: Oh.Dume: *whips out ticket booth* Now, step right up and get your tickets here! One way trip to Voya Nui, or the Daggers of Death! No turning back, complimentary Mask of Life with trip! Lewa0111 Edited February 28, 2014 by Lewa0111 Nuva Quote My Script Comedies: | The Nuva Inn Remake | Ask Matau! Remake (ACCEPTING QUESTIONS!) | My Prose Comedies: | The BZ-Nui Hack Wars | Mata Nova | ANNOUNCEMENT: The Nuva Inn is BACK IN BUSINESS!! (See my blog for more info on my writing projects) ANNOUNCEMENT 2: Looking for voice actors and artists/animators for an upcoming video project! PM me if interested! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lewa0111 Nuva Posted September 22, 2014 Author Share Posted September 22, 2014 (edited) Chapter 3 Lewa: STOP COPYING THE BOOK!!Lewa0111: This is the book.Lewa: Oh.*Back to Voya Nui...*Lewa: Hey! What's with the--*I use author powers to shut him up*Lewa0111: Whew! That was fun!Balta: Avak! Hey! Are you building a zamor sphere launcher that can be used to fire an evil living virus that can enslave all the Matoran?Avak: No, what made you think of that?Balta: This! *Holds up the story bible*Avak: Hey! Gimme that! *locks him in a prison, but the story bible goes flying into the water*GregF: Balta: Let me out of here!!Avak: Not unless you give me some pie!Balta: I don't have any pie! NOOOOOOOOO!!Avak: Then too bad.*Somwhere else...*Garan: Umm...why are you playing Tree vs. Rock?Thok: Because I don't have anything better to do.Garan: Can I play?Thok: Sure! *hits Garan with a bunch of rocks*Garan: Ouch! Why'd you do that?Thok: I'm a Toa, aren't I? It's my job to hit Matoran with rocks! Garan: Umm...you're a Toa of Ice, not Stone.Thok: WHAT? Oh, Kuma-Nui!Garan: Thok: So, why are you Matoran here, anyway?Garan: Balta says it's because there's a secret Mask of Life hidden here somewhere, and six Toa Inika are gonna come and find it, but I don't believe that. What I think is that we were part of a big giant marshmallow in the sky, but someone decided to roast it over a fire. The marshmallow began to melt, and Voya-Nui began to break off and float around in the sea. We've lived here ever since, because marshmallows taste good! Thok: You have some strange problems. I'd believe your friend Balta, if I were you.Garan: He's crazier than I am!Thok: This place just keeps getting more wacko with each minute.*Somewhere else entirely...*Lewa: Mmm mmm mmm mmm! *Translation: Let me guess...Dalu?*Lewa0111: Shut up.Lewa: Mmm mmm! *Translation: I can't do anything else!*Dalu: I'm sorry to bother you, Toa Vezok, but I need some advice. Yesterday I accidentally touched Piruk, and he started crying! What should I do?Vezok: Hey, if you wanted advice, you should go to Ask Matau! or one of those other 'Ask' comedies. But there's no 'Ask Vezok', so there! Leave me alone!Dalu: Thanks! *jumps out of this comedy, travels along the comedy page, and jumps into Ask Matau*Vezok: Geez. She's the most annoying Matoran this side of the island!Piruk: Vezok: Except him. Ugh! Lewa0111 Edited September 22, 2014 by Lewa0111 Nuva Quote My Script Comedies: | The Nuva Inn Remake | Ask Matau! Remake (ACCEPTING QUESTIONS!) | My Prose Comedies: | The BZ-Nui Hack Wars | Mata Nova | ANNOUNCEMENT: The Nuva Inn is BACK IN BUSINESS!! (See my blog for more info on my writing projects) ANNOUNCEMENT 2: Looking for voice actors and artists/animators for an upcoming video project! PM me if interested! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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