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Posted

Been watching a lot of Persona 4 videos and it got me thinking about which characters would sound like who.  So, I'll post the question here.  If this got voiced over, who would you cast as the characters?

I personally think Venti might sound like Adachi voiced by Johnny Yong Bosch.  Here's hoping Venti doesn't go the same way plot-wise.

Posted

It may have just been mainly talk, but it was still interesting. I like seeing the character interactions here. They seem very real, which can be a hard thing to do when writing.

 

That picture does make me wonder if we'll ever see the true full appearance of the Kaita though. That's something I'd certainly like.

  • Upvote 1

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Posted

Yeah, I've been getting a few complaints about there not being enough characterization, just events and exposition, and I did plan to delve into this stuff eventually, so I figured, "Eh, may as well get to it now, while the Toa have some downtime."

 

 

Okay, so I've got good news and bad news.

 

Bad news first- No chapter this week.

 

The good news is that it's because I'm working on the video review of the summer wave. So if I get it done quickly enough, chapter 9 will be up next Friday.

 

I also have a good idea of how long "Return of The Toa Miro" is going to be. I should have this arc wrapped up in another ten chapters, maybe 11, 12 tops. So yeah, I should have this year's story done before the end of the year at the rate I've been going. Still gotta get that Skull Villains review online, though.

  • Upvote 2

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The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

Hey guys, I hope it's okay for me to post this here (I know it's double posting, and I don't have any art to show per se, but I do have a preview of the next chapter, which should go up tomorrow or the next day.)

 

 

 

One week passes

Su-Wahi

Su-Koro


Toa Sein's office, formerly Trux's office, formerly Sein's office, was all cleared out. Most of the Su-Matoran's belongings were packed up, only leaving behind whatever they didn't feel they'd need anymore. A caravan was gathering outside. Trux looked down from the top of the wall. The weather was a bit more forgiving today than it was on most days. It was a good time to leave. He stared back in his former office one more time. He hadn't done much in his time as "Turaga," but he enjoyed what opportunities he had to help people in whatever small ways he could. Still, the idea of just... leaving... as if it was so simple infuriated him.

Sein approached him from below.

"What's the matter?" he asked, noticing the look in Trux's eyes.

"It just seems so... silly now, doesn't it? All these years, we stayed here in our miserable little hovel, waiting for aid from the other Wahis, waiting for a day when we could leave but never mustering the gull to do it. How many years has The North been safe? And NOW we get to go there? Why?"

Sein wasn't sure how to answer, at first.

"You did what you could to provide for us here, but you let the Turaga boss you around, keep us down, keep us complacent. 'Oh, we'll find a solution someday. We'll find a new place for you to live.' Some of us have left the tribe over the years and integrated into the other ones. We should've all done that, but we were worried that we wouldn't be able to preserve our culture this way. What is there to be proud of in our 'culture'? Survival? Simply existing? We could've been in The North all this time, really LIVING, but we stayed here because we believed it was "cursed."

"Yes we did."

"And I'm no better. I went along with the Turagas' mind games too, because it just seemed... easy that way, to keep on doing the same thing like we have been for years."

"I don't know about that. If anything, our people seemed more well off when I returned then they were when I left. You've done more to improve their lives in a poultry five years than I have in the last five centuries."

"Don't... urggh. If it was so easy, if we always could've just packed up our things and left, then why didn't we? Was it really because of the curse?"

Sein turned and looked to the distance.

"No. I've never believed in a curse. I've always known it was made up."

"Then what for? Were you just too afraid to make the journey? Did you think we'd get hurt along the way? You didn't have such reservations when you left the island with Piras and the rest! Hardly any of our people even went on that trip! And for that matter, I don't even know if they would've been better off going or not!"

Sein remained remarkably calm through all of Trux's ranting. When he responded, it was with great clarity.

"We couldn't go to The North if we wanted to. Not until fairly recently, anyway."

"Wha... why not?"

"Because it was toxic. That's why I and any of our scouts who ventured a little too far that way in past years returned so sickly. They weren't being attacked by fallen Elder Spirits, they were poisoned by a land turned fowl."

Trux didn't feel like ranting any more. Sein continued.

"Years ago, when I was a Matoran, one of the first of our generation, I remember living in a great settlement in the north. It was the center of our civilization, for a time. But one day, a... bumbling Matoran fell into a cave a few miles away and accidentally unleashed an army of Mechanicles. We didn't know it was there. Our Toa of the time had long since buried it, and didn't think it would ever be found. But the dormant Mechanicles stored within woke up, swarmed out and destroyed our greatest power source, bringing us to ruin. The fallout was so great that the land was soaked with radiation. We had to move out overnight. Many Matoran were stricken with hideous changes and deformities, and didn't survive for long after that. We vowed never to return, and for most of my time as a Matoran, and a Toa, I dared not either."

"The... Mechanicles have always been here?"

"No, I don't think so. But they were here before I was. I didn't know what they were at the time. None like myself understood that they were planted here by the "others" years before. We were told they were "mask stealers," because they'd always attack our masks first to weaken us. The Turaga came up with an elaborate backstory for them and everything. All we knew was that we had to stay away from certain parts of the island... and for the most part, we still do, though many have completely forgotten why."

"And... your trips to The North you mentioned? You told us you were warding off evil spirits that appeared in your dreams and, in time, would come to attack us."

"No... I was investigating the land to see if it was safe. For so many years, I clung to the hope that if I just kept our people safe here, rode out the sandstorms for long enough, the land would eventually come alive again and we could finally make the journey there, to be the first to return home."

"And... your last 'battle'?"

"That time I returned from The North five hundred years ago? Yes, that time I was so ill, I had to be taken to the Living Fortress so Albus could heal me... He forbade me from ever going there again, saying that if I did, the poison would kill me. And so... I gave up."

"And now...? What's changed?"

"According to Ahkmou, the land is no longer poisonous. He passed through The North recently, and he even had a fleshling with him, and they both made it all the way to the northern beaches just fine. He says the land has been livable for a few centuries, now. He even met someone who says they've been living there for all that time, in our old settlement. Amazing, isn't it? All I had to do was wait a little longer. We could've gone there years ago."

"It is amazing," said Trux, looking down, "I just... hope that our people aren't disappointed by what they find there, and not that anyone tries to stop us. Sorry for being so mouthy, sir."

Sein put his hand on Trux' shoulder. Trux looked up, making eye contact.

"Don't be. You're just acting like a leader, demanding the truth. At this point, Trux, I don't even care if I find my destiny and become a proper Turaga. You've come closer to that than I ever have. When we settle into our new home... I want you to continue leading the villagers."

Trux was speechless. He was trembling, beneath his mask.

"And trust me... nobody in their right might would even think of stopping us now. For our future, this is a path the Su-Matoran must take."

Sein stared deeply into Trux' eyes with fierce intent as he spoke, almost as if he was speaking to somebody else.

 

 

 

 

 

 

So yeah... I know that's pretty big for a preview, but this is going to be a BIG chapter. There will be plenty more to talk about. So watcha' think after reading this bit?

  • Upvote 1

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The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/

Posted

Oh... I see what you implied there...

 

Can't wait for the next chapter. The Su-Matoran have my favorite designs, and it's great to see more of them.

 

Just thought I'd point out a few grammar mistakes before you publish:
"...waiting for a day when we could leave but never mustering the gall to do it."

"You've done more to improve their lives in a paltry five years than I have in the last five centuries."

"They weren't being attacked by fallen Elder Spirits, they were poisoned by a land turned foul."

Posted (edited)

Working on coloring the illustrations now.

 

Man, I know I shouldn't be thinking this far ahead, but listening to Jak X's soundtrack is getting me all pumped again for that "Bionicle Racers" arc I wanna do. It won't be for at least another year, but still. Sounds like it would be fun.

 

So picture this... Matoran from the Manibus crew forced to participate in races on a mostly uninhabited island that faced disaster when Ultio decided to make it the point of entry for the Crust Buster, making the island... well, basically an inhospitable hellhole. And now, these Matoran get to spend the rest of their lives there!

 

Oh, and the enemy racers would be these.

 

067.jpg

 

Of course, these Roboriders would just be Mechanicles with incredibly advanced AI. Wouldn't that be so rad?

 

Just listen to this to get an idea.

 

 

Heck, listen to the whole soundtrack while you're working on something to have a rockin' time. Most of these tracks are gold, only, like, one or two that are just sorta meh.

 

Ah, so hyped.


Who else can see this being Frost's theme as the Matoran racers have to race him on his own ice-themed track where avalanches, cave-ins and whiteouts are an everyday occurrence?

 

Edited by NickonAquaMagna

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The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/

Posted

 

Yaay! Nova Orbis is back!

 

I like the death glare Calor is giving Vesta on the preview image. I think his intimidation factor must've gone up by a significant amount.

Hey Vesta!

Guess who's going to get violently incinerated!

 

(Man, I HATE that guy...)

 

 

Let's just say he does get burned today, though not quite like that.

 

Chapter nine is online! Here it is! >> http://nickinamerica.deviantart.com/art/Bionicle-Nova-Orbis-Return-Chapter-9-564809369

 

ch_9_panel_8_by_nickinamerica-d9c9uk9.jp

 

Hmmmm... comparing Sein's account of how things went down at the old Matoran settlement with Susurri's, something doesn't add up.

 

In other news, Banhi's character actually comes in useful for something! Yaaaay, finally. Yeah, I know nobody says it, but I'm sure there's someone out there who thinks Banhi is the blandest character in this entire series.

 

Anyway, tune in next time, to see how things go for the Su-Matoran.

 

That's it for today.

 

Feedback is appreciated.

the_toa_sig_by_nickinamerica-dbn0wau.png

The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/

Posted

That was an excellent chapter. Piras's mask was unexpected but makes so much sense, and the conversation between Vesta and Calor was priceless. Glad to see there's more to Vesta than a scumbag. The ending was ominous. That picture you made of Sein certainly did demonstrate his character in comparison to the other Miro very well.

Pk57sNJ.jpg

Posted

YESS MORREE PLEASSE MOOAAARRRR This has to be my favorite chapter yet. It's so action packed and twisty 'n' what not. I LOVE IT!

Just because you're trash doesn't mean you can't do great things.


It's called garbage can, not garbage cannot!

Posted (edited)

Chapter 10 is online! >> http://nickinamerica.deviantart.com/art/Bionicle-Nova-Orbis-Return-Chapter-10-566196532

 

ch10_panel10_by_nickinamerica-d9d3jvu.jp

 

DANG, huh? Soooooo many crazy things happened in this chapter. We get to see the true nature of the dummy masks, not to mention a good look at a modern Toa's face, Toa on both sides are making their next move, and... and... yeah. >sniff< That just happened.

That's it for today, folks. Take some time to process this defining moment.

 

Feedback is always appreciated.

Edited by NickonAquaMagna

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The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/

Posted

Yep, Always knew that the Toa Miro were evil on return. (I think that was obvious)

 

Anyway, That was another great chapter, like always. Although it does bring a question up... when all the other villages learn of the Toa Miro's evilness, might they declare war against them, perhaps?

I would try to talk about the "Wham shot" in this chapter, but I think I'll wait until more people read this so I don't spoil the surprise. :)

wGF2PMb.png


 


lof_teaser.png


(I'll do this eventually, I swear...)


 


My BZPRPG Characters


Corpus Rahkshi Characters: Kol Arsenal Swarm Amalgamation


Skyrise Characters: Zavon


 

Posted

What the...

 

Insane chapter. In a good way for the readers. Not so much for the characters. I did like seeing a maskless Toa, and it looks like Ahkmou will get a new mask. I like that since the Rau isn't exactly one of my favorites.

 

The big shocker of this chapter was really crazy though. Excellently done. We all knew he was evil, but...still. You managed to make it shocking. Sein is also now one of my favorite characters. He seems to be the only Miro who fully stayed...sane.

 

Pun absolutely intended.

Pk57sNJ.jpg

Posted

That chapter was insane. It made me share in the Toa Novus' feelings of helplessness and confusion toward the end, though, as if the whole world has now turned against them. It also left me repeating the phrase:

 

Run, Calor. Run...

 

http://i.imgur.com/kbP5Svg.gifhttp://i.imgur.com/O8CcqC5.pnghttp://i.imgur.com/kbP5Svg.gif

Posted

Yep, Always knew that the Toa Miro were evil on return. (I think that was obvious)

 

Anyway, That was another great chapter, like always. Although it does bring a question up... when all the other villages learn of the Toa Miro's evilness, might they declare war against them, perhaps?

 

There will be some resistance, though there's probably a fair few already following Piras' every word, after being mesmerized by his speeches an' all.

 

What the...

 

Insane chapter. In a good way for the readers. Not so much for the characters. I did like seeing a maskless Toa, and it looks like Ahkmou will get a new mask. I like that since the Rau isn't exactly one of my favorites.

 

The big shocker of this chapter was really crazy though. Excellently done. We all knew he was evil, but...still. You managed to make it shocking. Sein is also now one of my favorite characters. He seems to be the only Miro who fully stayed...sane.

 

Pun absolutely intended.

 

Good pun. As for maskless Toa... yeah, they don't look like they did back in the day (or like Ahkmou, being so old, still does), huh?

 

That chapter was insane. It made me share in the Toa Novus' feelings of helplessness and confusion toward the end, though, as if the whole world has now turned against them. It also left me repeating the phrase:

 

Run, Calor. Run...

 

 

And it's only gonna get worse from here.

 

 

You know, someone commented on DA saying the lyrics of Disturbed's "who taught you how to hate" perfectly encapsulated the rush of emotions in Sein's fight with Piras.

 

I strongly agree. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CElh72Sf--c

  • Upvote 1

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The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/

Posted

I've been following this for a while, and while I love it, I do have a couple nitpicks about the last two chapters.

While the thing about Piras' mask was nifty, back when they were a toa kaita, the kaita used shielding powers to protect the matoran, and Piras was wearing his new mask when the Kaita came apart.

Second, the part in the latest chapter when Piras... ignited the plasma? Plasma isn't flamable. If anything, it IS fire.

Regardless, I have been very much enjoying this, and can't wait for more!

The Chirox Codex

Chuck's Very Dead Comic Series

:smilehafu: This is my signature. Exciting, huh?  :ruru:

 

Posted (edited)

I've been following this for a while, and while I love it, I do have a couple nitpicks about the last two chapters.

While the thing about Piras' mask was nifty, back when they were a toa kaita, the kaita used shielding powers to protect the matoran, and Piras was wearing his new mask when the Kaita came apart.

Second, the part in the latest chapter when Piras... ignited the plasma? Plasma isn't flamable. If anything, it IS fire.

Regardless, I have been very much enjoying this, and can't wait for more!

 

 

Piras has two masks now, and can switch between them like the Toa Mata could back in the day.

 

Also... Plasma is basically a gas superheated and transformed into a fourth state, at which point it stops being a gas. I just figured that... when Sein projects it from his body or summons it, there must be a split second, some intermediate period where it hasn't actually become plasma yet, so that Sein doesn't scorch or blow himself up as he did here when Piras heated the gas and forced it to become plasma early, when it had barely even left Sein's body. Does that make sense, or does it not work?

Edited by NickonAquaMagna

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The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/

Posted

 

I've been following this for a while, and while I love it, I do have a couple nitpicks about the last two chapters.

While the thing about Piras' mask was nifty, back when they were a toa kaita, the kaita used shielding powers to protect the matoran, and Piras was wearing his new mask when the Kaita came apart.

Second, the part in the latest chapter when Piras... ignited the plasma? Plasma isn't flamable. If anything, it IS fire.

Regardless, I have been very much enjoying this, and can't wait for more!

 

 

Piras has two masks now, and can switch between them like the Toa Mata could back in the day.

 

Also... Plasma is basically a gas superheated and transformed into a fourth state, at which point it stops being a gas. I just figured that... when Sein projects it from his body or summons it, they must be a split second, some intermediate period where it hasn't actually become plasma yet, so that Sein doesn't scorch or blow himself up as he did here when Piras heated the gas and forced it to become plasma early, when it had barely even left Sein's body. Does that make sense, or does it not work?

 

I think that's the only way that makes sense. Otherwise he'd get internal burns every time he used the move and that just wouldn't work out for him. I kind of assumed that while reading, actually, so I think you're good here.

  • Upvote 1

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Posted

Good to know.

 

Here's a preview of tomorrow's chapter. I REEEEEALLY like how the closeup of Calor turned out. Everything he ever knew or thought he knew about being a Toa, the very ideas of what that means, just went down the toilet. And keep in mind, this so far in the future, it's a world where people have forgotten all about the likes of Tuyet and Nidhiki, so it's not like there's a precedent for the atrocities Piras has just committed. So yeah... Calor is understandably afraid. And sad.

 

ch11_panel1_by_nickinamerica-d9djfuw.jpg

  • Upvote 4

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The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/

Posted

No offense but that's a very cliché'd shot. Nice work though. (I probably have a spelling mistake in there)

Just because you're trash doesn't mean you can't do great things.


It's called garbage can, not garbage cannot!

Posted

Aaaaaaaand Chapter eleven is online! >> http://nickinamerica.deviantart.com/art/Bionicle-Nova-Orbis-Return-Chapter-11-567165321

 

Here's a preview shot.

ch11_panel_7_by_nickinamerica-d9docrq.jp

 

So... no huge shocker moment in this one, but a lot still happened. We also finally get to know Unda a little bit. Do you guys think he's a sorry excuse for a character, or can you sorta see where he's coming from?

Not that it has much to do with anything, but I spent a fair chunk of time listening to this tune as I was putting this piece together. I think it fits some of these scenes, mostly the last one.



That's it for today.

Next time... things get CRAAAAZY. Like, you have no idea.

 

Feedback is always appreciated.

the_toa_sig_by_nickinamerica-dbn0wau.png

The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/

Posted

It was a good chapter. Getting to see the first fight between the Novus and Miro was good. The Novus are in for a tough fight when the numbers get more even though.

 

I like seeing Calor become a stronger character, but I feel bad for him because of how much the process hurts him. His fight against the Mechanicles was cool.

 

Unda is just...childish. Illogical. I do see where he's coming from but I think it's a stupid place to be coming from and I don't like him at all. Ungrateful little a-hole.

 

The final scene, by the way, I kinda pictured with this music instead. Having listened to the one you linked, I do think this one fits better. But you can tell me what you think of it yourself.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d0D7T348GYo

  • Upvote 1

Pk57sNJ.jpg

Posted

I like seeing Calor become a stronger character, but I feel bad for him because of how much the process hurts him. His fight against the Mechanicles was cool.

 

Unda is just...childish. Illogical. I do see where he's coming from but I think it's a stupid place to be coming from and I don't like him at all. Ungrateful little a-hole.

 

 

Yeah, I was always kind of worried that Calor would end up bland, but it turns out simply putting a character through hellish situations and having them come out of it gives them a bit of... texture, shall we say?

 

And Unda... yeah, he's just really paranoid and prone to assuming the worst in people. It's not as simple as him being afraid of girls or having an inferiority complex, it's exactly as Imber said might happen. People might think badly of her for her "motivation," and I guess a six-inch tall Unda standing under the Toa's bench to listen in on them for the other Miro thought exactly that.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Anyway, the stage is set in chapter twelve, which will either go up tomorrow or the next day. I'll update you guys as things play out.

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The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/

Posted (edited)

Chapter twelve is online! >> http://nickinamerica.deviantart.com/art/Bionicle-Nova-Orbis-Return-Chapter-12-568301134

 

Without a doubt, this is the latest in the day I've ever uploaded one of these. A lot of stuff just got in the way today, before I could put it online. Hopefully this won't negatively effect whatever traction it gets in the next day or so.

 

ch12_panel3_by_nickinamerica-d9ecnsi.jpg

 

The stage is set.

Originally, this chapter and the next were going to be one, but... yeah, no. The battle to come is BIG. So big, that it's going to need an entire chapter dedicated to it.

And to think, we're still only at the halfway mark of this part of the story!

That's it for today.

 

Feedback is always appreciated.

Edited by NickonAquaMagna

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The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/

Posted

Hmm. So they're kind of on a timer to win this and get their masks off...and the stage is indeed set, for quite a chaotic battle. Five Toa against six, and a Mask of Incomprehension is in effect.

 

...Oh, and it can't be the Shelek. Shelek is another mask, the Mask of Silence.

  • Upvote 1

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