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Bionicle- Nova Orbis (new world)


NickonAquaMagna

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Well, I hoped to have this chapter online by today, but... yeah, that's just not gonna happen. Mainly because simply designing something that's going to appear in this one took longer than all of the other illustrations combined.

 

It's gonna be worth it, though. I should have it up by tomorrow. Look forward to it.

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The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/

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It will be well worth the wait.

 

I've just finished editing the illustrations. There are ten in this one, and I'm pretty happy with how they've turned out.

 

Now I just need 3... four hours, tops, to put it all together. Keep your eyes peeled, because I WILL get this chapter online today.

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The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/

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Chapter 13 is finally online! Click here to read before scrolling down and being spoiled! http://nickinamerica.deviantart.com/art/Bionicle-Nova-Orbis-Return-Chapter-13-569260135

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

For those who just came back from reading, I've gotta ask... was it worth the wait?

 

ch13_panel8_by_nickinamerica-d9exaa1.jpg

 

This theme is all too fitting for the later battle.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SxmMnMTQvVs

 

Feedback is always appreciated.

Edited by NickonAquaMagna
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The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/

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NOOOOOO WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING, AHKMOU YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BEAT THE TURDUCKEN OUT OF THE MIRO

 

...well, ######.  That just happened.  That... is definitely a situation deserving of a '######'.  And now who's going to save the world?

 

I hate the situation... I hate the fact that they still can't win.  There's a word I came up with... a mendumen.  From the stems 'mend', flawed, and 'numen', deity... an evil, all-powerful foe.  I can think of no better candidate for the word than Piras.  Piras the mendumen.

 

At the same time, now I just have to see how this ends.

 

EDIT:  I didn't realize a more vehement 'crud' was considered a swear... I wasn't trying to say anything dirty, really =P

Edited by evil_jaga_genius

Avatar by Nicholas Anderson (NickonAquaMagna)

My blog: The Jaga's Nest

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I hope you kill off the Miro.  Not one or two, all of them.  That hurt to read and I want all their deaths to be so ironic I can only laugh at it.  Admittedly, the idea of the Toa we're rooting for losing is not one I've seen before, aside from the Nuva on Voya Nui, and I'm not sure I like it.

Considering they're the protagonists, I won't be surprised if they either aren't fully mind-controlled or will be saved by Tenius, but I'd like to see a recovery soon.  Any more of this Piras being a dominant figurehead without legitimate competition and I might kill someone.

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Don't worry, Nick...I'm sure he's joking. In the event he's not I'm going to assume he was corrupted like the Miro. :P

 

So this is the last chapter for a while, huh? Well, it was certainly worth the wait here. It was the most epic chapter you've ever written, despite its tragic end. The battle was intense and never at any point seemed to drag. Ahkmou's stand against the Miro all by himself using Calor's mask was incredible. The Kaita being named, and the names and titles you gave them, were all great. And yet there's still so much you've given us to look forward to.

 

I doubt my writing skills will ever get close to yours. They're seriously good enough that you could do this for a living if you got some widespread attention.

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Now that was an eventful chapter!

 

First off, I love the design of the Kaita, and the way you described them! The fight scene with Ahkmou using Calor's mask was probably the highlight of the episode. (I wonder if that'll be his primary Mask now?)

Things are looking pretty grim for the Toa Novus... But what about all the people you mentioned at the end? They'll turn the tides, right?

 

...Right...?

(I'm pretty sure either Attra will return or Tenius will become the 7th Toa)

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So this is the last chapter for a while, huh? Well, it was certainly worth the wait here. It was the most epic chapter you've ever written, despite its tragic end. The battle was intense and never at any point seemed to drag. Ahkmou's stand against the Miro all by himself using Calor's mask was incredible. The Kaita being named, and the names and titles you gave them, were all great. And yet there's still so much you've given us to look forward to.

 

I doubt my writing skills will ever get close to yours. They're seriously good enough that you could do this for a living if you got some widespread attention.

 

I do want to get my name out there, but not with this. I have an original property I'll reveal to the world once I've paid for the copyright and trademark.

 

Anyway, glad you enjoyed it. I wanted this chapter to be something special.

 

Now that was an eventful chapter!

 

First off, I love the design of the Kaita, and the way you described them! The fight scene with Ahkmou using Calor's mask was probably the highlight of the episode. (I wonder if that'll be his primary Mask now?)

Things are looking pretty grim for the Toa Novus... But what about all the people you mentioned at the end? They'll turn the tides, right?

 

...Right...?

(I'm pretty sure either Attra will return or Tenius will become the 7th Toa)

 

Nah, Tenius' destiny isn't to become a Toa... yet. Anyway, we'll see what becomes of the Toa Novus down the road.

 

That was a pretty interesting finale...

 

I just hope that Piras and the other "evil" Toa will face the consequences of their actions against the Toa Novus, and that Sein does the right thing.

 

 

Time will tell. Not for a while, though.

On that note, guys... I think it's pretty important that you read this. It concerns the future of Nova Orbis. Well, the immediate future, anyway.

 

http://nickinamerica.deviantart.com/journal/Taking-a-break-from-Nova-Orbis-Here-s-why-569401462

 

I need this.

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The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/

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Okay, I finally got around to reading the latest chapter and... I hated it.

 

No, not because of the writing or illustration. Both were phenomenal as always. I loved the depiction of the Kaita. The part with Ahkmou wearing Calor's mask was also incredible.

 

And well, maybe hate is a strong word...

 

 

I think what's driving me crazy is... good guys always win, right? Whenever you crack open a book or sit down for a movie, you know that somehow, someway, the good guys are going to come out on top. But here... we see the Novus give it their all, and they even have the boost from the dummy masks, and yet they are utterly crushed by the Miro. The chapter ends with the Novus being controlled by the masks and taken who knows where and all seems hopeless, all the Matoran doomed for whatever Piras' controllers have in mind. Things have never seemed so hopeless for the good guys. And after we've spent all this time getting to know the Novus, it's heartbreaking.

 

But with a book, you know they still have a chapter or two to pull out of it. In a TV show, you know they can't fail because they still have a whole season to make!

 

But here... you're leaving us hanging. The chapter ends right there, and then you say you're taking a break for a time (I'm not blaming you; I know as well as anyone that sometimes you just need a break). And it's driving me mad. I think I can sympathize with Jet up there.

 

Just to be clear, I'm not saying this is a problem. Depending on how the next season goes, it could be a fantastic comeback, rising from insurmountable odds to save the Matoran once again. Or it could be the one story in all of history where the bad guys win after all (I'm pretty sure I'm exaggerating there). But until we get that finale, this is going to leave me feeling very unsettled.

 

 

...actually, I shouldn't say we know the Novus. As an honest, constructive critique, I think we could have used some more time to get to know the Novus. Ahkmou and Calor have had a plethora of characterization. Uira and Silva to a much lesser extent. But I can barely remember Imber and Mieli's elements, let alone what their personality is like! I mean, it's inevitable with this many main characters that some get left to the side (look at LotR, or even the Toa Nuva!), but I feel like you could try a little more with that.

 

Also, another thing. I really feel like this arc could have used a bit more setup. After how long ago the first chapters were, and how drastically the Miro have changed, I have a hard time connecting the old Piras and Venti with their new appearances. It just feels like some crazy, evil Toa are going around breaking things. The options could be (not that it matters now) that there's a flashback chapter or two, or throughout the first arc, you have the occasional, "if only Piras was here" or something, or maybe even start on that "prequel" section you spoke about in your journal (which sounds great and I can't wait to see). Just to give us a reminder of the old Toa and how much they have changed, and really drive the point of their return home. It would make the arc feel more jarring and engaging, I think, to have a better comparison.

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Win? Sure. The Miro have been shown to be more powerful, and they really had every advantage. It's hard to see it turning out any other way short of miraculous protagonist powers.

 

What bugs me about it is how they were utterly crushed and seemingly given no hope for return. Even if the Novus escaped near death, it would feel like they have more of a chance to come back.

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Looking back on my statement, I realize that I might have come off a bit too angry.  I love this story, don't get me wrong; I was just having a bad day and was hoping that the new chapter would raise my spirits.  Needless to say, it did not.

Click is right.  Watching characters I've come to like and relate to get absolutely CURB-STOMPED feels like a sword being driven through my gut.  You built up the rage of characters like Calor only for him to get tossed around like a rag-doll with minimum effort, which hurts to see.  Add in the fact that we don't know Piras' plan, aside from abandon the island and kill anyone who refuses to leave, plus the fact that the series is taking a hiatus, and you leave people with a lot of nervous questions.

Regardless of my rantings, I'm glad you're taking a break for a bit.  It means that you get to come back into it with a fresh mind and with less stress, making the story better.  Take the time you need.  We'll wait.

I will request only one thing be answered.  What are the Turaga up to and how do they feel about the situation?

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I personally loved it. It was a great cliffhanger.

Although, there is a plot point that seems to have been forgotten, or dropped. Back when Imber and Mieli were fighting Anguis, something odd happened that allowed them to amplify and unite their powers to create a massive whirlpool able to break the borer's arm. It seemed to be a Novus exclusive ability. Was is forgotten, or is it going to play a role later?

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I personally loved it. It was a great cliffhanger.

Although, there is a plot point that seems to have been forgotten, or dropped. Back when Imber and Mieli were fighting Anguis, something odd happened that allowed them to amplify and unite their powers to create a massive whirlpool able to break the borer's arm. It seemed to be a Novus exclusive ability. Was is forgotten, or is it going to play a role later?

 

I just thought that was in line with other instances of Toa combining their powers, like Gali and Lewa when they first encountered the Bohrok in Ta-Koro and chased them away by creating a storm.

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The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/

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Okay, I finally got around to reading the latest chapter and... I hated it.

 

No, not because of the writing or illustration. Both were phenomenal as always. I loved the depiction of the Kaita. The part with Ahkmou wearing Calor's mask was also incredible.

 

And well, maybe hate is a strong word...

 

 

I think what's driving me crazy is... good guys always win, right? Whenever you crack open a book or sit down for a movie, you know that somehow, someway, the good guys are going to come out on top. But here... we see the Novus give it their all, and they even have the boost from the dummy masks, and yet they are utterly crushed by the Miro. The chapter ends with the Novus being controlled by the masks and taken who knows where and all seems hopeless, all the Matoran doomed for whatever Piras' controllers have in mind. Things have never seemed so hopeless for the good guys. And after we've spent all this time getting to know the Novus, it's heartbreaking.

 

But with a book, you know they still have a chapter or two to pull out of it. In a TV show, you know they can't fail because they still have a whole season to make!

 

But here... you're leaving us hanging. The chapter ends right there, and then you say you're taking a break for a time (I'm not blaming you; I know as well as anyone that sometimes you just need a break). And it's driving me mad. I think I can sympathize with Jet up there.

 

Just to be clear, I'm not saying this is a problem. Depending on how the next season goes, it could be a fantastic comeback, rising from insurmountable odds to save the Matoran once again. Or it could be the one story in all of history where the bad guys win after all (I'm pretty sure I'm exaggerating there). But until we get that finale, this is going to leave me feeling very unsettled.

 

 

...actually, I shouldn't say we know the Novus. As an honest, constructive critique, I think we could have used some more time to get to know the Novus. Ahkmou and Calor have had a plethora of characterization. Uira and Silva to a much lesser extent. But I can barely remember Imber and Mieli's elements, let alone what their personality is like! I mean, it's inevitable with this many main characters that some get left to the side (look at LotR, or even the Toa Nuva!), but I feel like you could try a little more with that.

 

Also, another thing. I really feel like this arc could have used a bit more setup. After how long ago the first chapters were, and how drastically the Miro have changed, I have a hard time connecting the old Piras and Venti with their new appearances. It just feels like some crazy, evil Toa are going around breaking things. The options could be (not that it matters now) that there's a flashback chapter or two, or throughout the first arc, you have the occasional, "if only Piras was here" or something, or maybe even start on that "prequel" section you spoke about in your journal (which sounds great and I can't wait to see). Just to give us a reminder of the old Toa and how much they have changed, and really drive the point of their return home. It would make the arc feel more jarring and engaging, I think, to have a better comparison.

 

Win? Sure. The Miro have been shown to be more powerful, and they really had every advantage. It's hard to see it turning out any other way short of miraculous protagonist powers.

 

What bugs me about it is how they were utterly crushed and seemingly given no hope for return. Even if the Novus escaped near death, it would feel like they have more of a chance to come back.

 

 

Keep in mind... this story is only halfway done. That's what part 2 is for, is so we can see the Novus make their inevitable comeback and fulfill the traditional story conventions. I didn't want to have to give that away, but yeah.

 

Looking back on my statement, I realize that I might have come off a bit too angry.  I love this story, don't get me wrong; I was just having a bad day and was hoping that the new chapter would raise my spirits.  Needless to say, it did not.

Click is right.  Watching characters I've come to like and relate to get absolutely CURB-STOMPED feels like a sword being driven through my gut.  You built up the rage of characters like Calor only for him to get tossed around like a rag-doll with minimum effort, which hurts to see.  Add in the fact that we don't know Piras' plan, aside from abandon the island and kill anyone who refuses to leave, plus the fact that the series is taking a hiatus, and you leave people with a lot of nervous questions.

Regardless of my rantings, I'm glad you're taking a break for a bit.  It means that you get to come back into it with a fresh mind and with less stress, making the story better.  Take the time you need.  We'll wait.

I will request only one thing be answered.  What are the Turaga up to and how do they feel about the situation?

 

I don't want to spoil anything big. I'll just say they don't like it.

 

I wanna see some more gen 1 characters. Like maybe Vezon pops by and has a cameo in a market scene or something. I'd like to know exactly what happened to the Toa Nuva + Takanuva and especially some of the more OP guys like Miserix, Artahka, Axonn, etc.

 

Isn't Miserix dead?

 

Anyway, there will be some G1 character references, but it isn't the time for that yet, you know?

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The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/

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the cliffhanger was most certainly better than Halo 5's cliffhanger. (YOU HAD ONE JOB, 343!)

 

Oh by the way, Miserix is the only living makuta in the mainstream universe along with alternate Teridax.

Edited by Toa Aeron

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Okay guys, here's my game plan for the foreseeable future concerning Nova Orbis. Needless to say, I think you all have a vested interest in this.

 

http://nickinamerica.deviantart.com/journal/Future-plans-for-Bionicle-Nova-Orbis-570047416

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The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/

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Also, here's a coupla' songs I'm contemplating using as themes for some of what's to come, 'cause you see... I've basically run out of Cryoshell songs.

 

So here's two songs from Elysion. The lyrics are pretty clean, and while I wouldn't say the tone fits Bionicle in a general sense, it will fit the next story.

 

This will be Piras' theme, in the upcoming Journey to Caelum arc.

 

And this will be the theme for Return- Part 2. I guess you could say it speaks for the Novus and everyone who feels betrayed by the one who gave them all a dream.

 

I'll find another band for the stories that come after that. Watcha' think?

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The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/

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It's a good game plan and now that Bionicle Racers has some context I think it'll be interesting. Not a fan of racing stuff generally but if it's that heavy on deep lore info, how can I object?

 

As for the music, I don't like the first one as much but I do like the second. Now I'm sure the first one fits Piras when the context is given but I don't like the sound of the song itself as much. The second I do think fits already since we have some context for it and I do like the song. I think it also does fit well with the other Bionicle songs, so there's that.

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Just wondering, do Shadow Toa exist in Nova Orbis?  Not like Toa of Shadow, but dark versions of an existing Toa, like the ones in Tale of the Toa?

 

Because if I didn't know any better, I'd say Piras is Shadow Tahu... wears a Hau, has a fire sword, can easily match the power of his equal Toa of Fire, Calor, has a dark and corrupted color scheme... random thoughts.

 

Actually maybe this Piras IS the Shadow Piras...?  AAUGH THE CLIFFHANGERS  =P  That's okay, I can wait =P

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  • 3 weeks later...
  • 4 weeks later...

Hey, guys. Just wanted to let you know that the next story is in... the conceptual stages. Still not quite there, but I'm willing to let you in on something.

 

This next story will feature warriors the Toa Miro meet who have an old-world, knightly feel, like this moc http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/Konahrik/Signature/SelfMOC/blast.jpg and they'll be pretty rough. Rough enough to use immoral mask powers.

 

I've tried digging up some past "evil mask powers" or mask powers in general threads I've seen before, but they seem to have disappeared. I saw some really good powers I wanted to reserve for these characters, enough that I was able to give them all a consistent theme that would help these guys feel more distinct as a group, so if anyone can link me to a list of mask powers, I'd appreciate it.

 

That's all for now, I guess.

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The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/

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As in just a list of canon Kanohi? BS01 has one here, and pretty much any Makuta mask or otherwise "iffy" mask like the Tryna would probably be considered immoral (though you can also check on the Kanohi's page).

 

But if you were talking fan-created immoral powers... can't help you there.

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Oh, believe me, I have been to that page more times than I can count over the last two years. No, what I need now is a list of fan-created masks. And it's all right, I'm sure someone will come along with one.

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The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/

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