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Nuju Metru

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Coming from someone who has two other family members named Tim (the first being my father, and the second my brother-in-law), perhaps a better alternative would be to simply apply a minor alteration to the name instead of changing it completely, provided that you still think it is best for you to do so.

Example: Taking the title Frontier and turning it into The FrontierEndless Frontier, Frontier Unknown, or even Frontier Unlimited, depending on how you want to spin it.

 

Where have I heard that before?

Edited by Walking Stereotype
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Forgot to ask this in my initial post, but what's the status of Wasteland's flora? More or less the same as Bara Magna? Are there species of plant unique to this RPG? How difficult would it be for my possible Bo-Matoran to grow herbs for food and medicinal purposes?

Hero Factory RPG 2.0 PCs:
| Erik Jet | Daren Wolfe | Henry Flint | Helen Corona | Ethan RezDr. Xaal |

Wasteland RPG PCs:
|
Mina |

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Or be punny, and call it something like The Front Tier.

 

There's a difference between punny and obnoxious. I don't think anyone would dare approve a game with that title.

 

 

 

How about FRONTIER INFINITE.

Go big and go bad Ghidora

 

 

._.

 

Coming from someone who has two other family members named Tim (the first being my father, and the second my brother-in-law), perhaps a better alternative would be to simply apply a minor alteration to the name instead of changing it completely, provided that you still think it is best for you to do so.

Example: Taking the title Frontier and turning it into The Frontier, Endless Frontier, Frontier Unknown, or even Frontier Unlimited, depending on how you want to spin it.

 

The main issue with the name Frontier is that it might be seen at first as a Star Trek RPG.

 

But for now, I'll stick with Frontier until I can think of something better.

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Forgot to ask this in my initial post, but what's the status of Wasteland's flora? More or less the same as Bara Magna? Are there species of plant unique to this RPG? How difficult would it be for my possible Bo-Matoran to grow herbs for food and medicinal purposes?

 

If you're lucky, you might find some scragged, half-dead grasses or something. But unless you spend your precious water on plants, very little is going to grow.

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Forgot to ask this in my initial post, but what's the status of Wasteland's flora? More or less the same as Bara Magna? Are there species of plant unique to this RPG? How difficult would it be for my possible Bo-Matoran to grow herbs for food and medicinal purposes?

 

If you're lucky, you might find some scragged, half-dead grasses or something. But unless you spend your precious water on plants, very little is going to grow.

 

 

You can always grow a pet rock.

 

aps42.JPG

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Previous Link (the other three are already included on this one):

Relentless Link #4

 

Had this written up for a while, but never got around to posting it. Figured now's as good a time as any other, though, so here it is.

 

Hybridisation Table

 

Compatability Index - These are the species who can interbreed with one another.

 

Matoran: Kestora and Agori (as Matoran or Turaga); Glatorian, Lariska's Species, and both Skrall Warriors/Mystics (as Toa)

Skakdi: Zyglak, Skrall Berserkers (Stronius' variation), Glatorian (Vorox), Krekka's Species, and Nocturn's Species

Zyglak: Skakdi, Skrall Berserkers, Glatorian (Vorox), Krekka's Species, and Nocturn's Species

Vortixx: Skrall Leaders (Tuma's variation), Krekka's Species, Sidorak's Species, Johmak's Species, Mimic's Species, and Conjurer's Species

Kestora: Matoran (Matoran and Turaga) and Agori

Agori: Matoran (Matoran and Turaga) and Kestora

Skrall:

          Warriors: Matoran (Toa), Glatorian, and Lariska's Species

          Berserkers: Skakdi, Zyglak, Glatorian (Vorox), and Krekka's Species

          Mystics: Matoran (Toa), Glatorian, and Lariska's Species

          Leaders: Vortixx, Sidorak's Species, Johmak's Species, and Conjurer's Species

Glatorian: Matoran (Toa), Skakdi (as Vorox), Zyglak (as Vorox), Skrall Warriors/Mystics, Nocturn's Species (as Vorox), and Lariska's Species

Krekka's Species: Skakdi, Zyglak, Vortixx, Skrall Berserkers, Sidorak's Species, Nocturn's Species, Johmak's Species, Mimic's Species, and Conjurer's Species

Sidorak's Species: Vortixx, Skrall Leaders, Krekka's Species, Johmak's Species, Mimic's Species, and Conjurer's Species

Nocturn's Species: Skakdi, Zyglak, Skrall Berserkers, and Krekka's Species

Johmak's Species: Vortixx, Skrall Leaders, Krekka's Species, Sidorak's Species, Mimic's Species, and Conjurer's Species

Lariska's Species: Matoran (Toa), Skrall Warriors/Mystics, and Glatorian

Mimic's Species: Vortixx, Krekka's Species, Sidorak's Species, and Johmak's Species

Conjurer's Species: Vortixx, Skrall Leaders, Krekka's Species, Sidorak's Species, Johmak's Species, and Mimic's Species

 

Cases of Note:

                       Makuta: Can interbreed with any of the above species via Shapeshifting, though the offspring are always Makuta

                       Rahkshi: Cannot interbreed with other species directly, however, characters loyal to a Makuta can elect to undergo the Rahagahfication Process of this universe, which essentially reconstructs their entire being into that of a pseudo-Rahkshi, complete with Kraata and powers (this counts towards the species limit for hybrids, however, and can only be applied during the final stages of the hybridisation process during character creation, so keep that in mind)

 

Hybrid Types

 

Binary Hybrids: Byproduct of two compatible species. Can breed normally with a member of their component species (offspring's species will be of the other parent's), or with a member of another species compatible with one of their parent's to create a Tertiary Hybrid.

Tertiary Hybrids: Byproduct of a Binary Hybrid and a member of a different compatible species that they can breed with. Can only breed with Tertiary Hybrids of the same lineage.

 

Rules regarding Powers, Abilities, and Kanohi

 

Multiple powers and abilities are allowed for hybrid characters, though the strength of said powers and abilities functions slightly differently from their parent species. If both parents share a specific trait, then the level of effectiveness belonging to that particular trait for their offspring is the average of their own respective levels; if not, their access is limited by the exact point in which it enters their lineage (GM discretion).

 

Example: A Skakdi/Zyglak/Skrall Berserker Tertiary Hybrid would maintain a slightly lesser level of elemental resistance than their Skakdi ancestor, a slight resistance to all other elements, and a slight increase in physical strength, but at the cost of their elemental and vision powers being much less effective, and their bodies being about 50% more susceptible to physical damage.

 

Kanohi work a bit differently. If one parent has the capacity to use Great or Noble Kanohi and the other does not, their offspring won't either. However, if the parent who cannot descends from a species that normally can (in the case of Binary Hybrids), their Tertiary offspring will be capable of accessing the powers belonging to Noble Kanohi only.

 

And yes, before anybody asks, I will still be open to reviewing Custom Species pitches if the above information doesn't completely satisfy everybody's creativity, though they may involve a little more work than usual, as they'd also have to be factored into the hybridisation table above.

Edited by Timageness

Epics: 

Hero Factory: Contagion

RPG Characters:

BZPRPG Characters

RPG History:

The Asylum, Bionifight Infinite, Year 60,000, Matoran und Panzer, HF RPG 2.0, Wasteland, Corpus Rahkshi, Skyrise

GM Résumé:

Matoran und Panzer (Formerly Appointed Co-GM), Corpus Rahkshi (Former Substitute Co-GM)

 

 

Feel free to shoot a PM my way if you're waiting for me to respond to something and I've been taking a while to do so.

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Timeageness, I'm honestly not sure what the story to your RPG is. Maybe it just doesn't come across because you've linked to links which link to links, and posting your RPG piecemeal like that murders its clarity, but for the life of me I couldn't tell you what the RPG is actually about. Something about a Makuta controlled Spherus Magna I think, only one where none of the locations are the same, a lot of the history is different and there's somewhere called Caelum Insula and I'm not sure if thats a new region on Spherus Magna or a name for Spherus Magna itself...

 

I would suggest putting everything you have in one post, so I'm not following links that have outdated information because you have updated them at another point while also trying to piece together all the bits you've scattered across the topic like some weird treasure map jigsaw thing. 

I also think that adding some long list of available hybridisations is making things massively overcomplicated. I think you're over-prioritising the technical intricacies while seemingly ignoring the actual story, the thing thats going to be attracting players in the first place. Its not that I'm against all lists and rules, its just that this game looks to be getting bogged down in bureaucracy straight out of Brazil (the film, not the country) and its gong to detract from the experience.

 

If you were determined on having the hybridisation as a game feature, to suggest aeons have passed for example (like I said, I'm not really clear on what the story is), then might I offer some advice? Instead of trying to list every species and every species those species are compatible with, just have a shorter list of genetic traits, some of which can be applied across multiple species, and let players pick and choose a certain number of them. That way if they want to be a third-generation Toa they can just select things like Kanohi Usage and Elemental Powers to keep things simple, but if they wanted they could throw in something like Superior Strength or Psychic. It allows for a decent range of customisation, which is I think what you were aiming for, while also meaning players could give their characters a bit of mystique. Where are they getting extra powers from? Was their grandpappy a Skrall or Skakdi? Gives them some skeletons to have in their closet. Like I said, I'm not against lists or systems, I just think there's a better way of doing them other than regurgitating pages of information at the reader

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Fair enough. I posted the Hybridisation Table to obtain some feedback on it anyway, as it was definitely one of the features that I wasn't entirely sure how to implement successfully, and your suggestion on how to do so makes so much more sense in hindsight.

As far as the links and story info is concerned, however, the way I've been revealing it is actually somewhat intentional, except for the order in which I've done so. That, I'll admit, was mostly due to my brain jumping around and tackling things randomly.

To my knowledge, I don't believe any of the information I linked back to is outdated, though I have certainly been wrong before. Mostly everything I've been typing up so far, such as the stuff regarding the GSR and Aqua/Bara Magna, was done purely to build upon the universe and establish the events leading up to the RPG itself, which soley centers around Caelum Insula, a location "on" (and I use that term loosely here) Bara Magna. If the plot seems to be a little bare bones at the moment, that's probably because A) I'm still in the process of fine-tuning it, B) some of it is meant to be revealed via progression and I don't want to unintentionally spoil anything I haven't already, and C) I want to keep the core concept at least somewhat original and intact before I'm actually ready to completely unveil it in full. I apologise if any of it has come off as confusing, but aside from the effort I've made to clarify things within this post, revealing anything else might prove to be detrimental to its initial construction, and that's something I'd like to avoid until I have enough written down to start typing up a first draft.

I will say this, however; Relentless is currently being designed as a survival/exploration RPG with a few elements of horror and suspense mixed in for good measure, and even if the plot did have something to do with Spherus Magna being ruled by the Makuta (which it doesn't, as the GSR hasn't arrived on Bara Magna yet, and thus hasn't had a chance to reform the planet, or even deposit said Makuta onto its surface), that would be a complete and utter godsend compared to what's actually going on within the borders of Caelum Insula.

Edited by Timageness

Epics: 

Hero Factory: Contagion

RPG Characters:

BZPRPG Characters

RPG History:

The Asylum, Bionifight Infinite, Year 60,000, Matoran und Panzer, HF RPG 2.0, Wasteland, Corpus Rahkshi, Skyrise

GM Résumé:

Matoran und Panzer (Formerly Appointed Co-GM), Corpus Rahkshi (Former Substitute Co-GM)

 

 

Feel free to shoot a PM my way if you're waiting for me to respond to something and I've been taking a while to do so.

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even if the plot did have something to do with Spherus Magna being ruled by the Makuta (which it doesn't, as the GSR hasn't arrived on Bara Magna yet, and thus hasn't had a chance to reform the planet, or even deposit said Makuta onto its surface)

 

Taken from Relentless Link 2

 

More specifically, the game takes place somewhere on an alternate Bara Magna while a certain Makuta is still in control of the GSR

 

See I took this to mean that we're on Bara Magna while Makutatron is also on Bara Magna. Because how else would we have species like Toa and Skakdi around? They don't exist anywhere outside of the MU. 

Not wanting to spoil things is one thing, but doing things in the way you're doing is making it tricky if not downright impossible to provide feedback. Because how can I know if its something that needs improving or if its something you've deliberately left out? How can I tell if you've not explained something, or if you did and its just five pages back in a different link? You're just not doing yourself any favours by posting things piecemeal

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Thanks for your feedback, everyone. I took your suggestions and did a thorough edit of Wasteland in an attempt to make everything as clear as possible. I also added a section on rules, as well as a few supplementary sections with helpful information. You can find the result below. Toss any last-minute suggestions at me, and then we'll head on over to the request topic!

 

 

wasteland1_zpsbctfno3o.jpg
 

There is shadow under this red rock,

(Come in under the shadow of this red rock),

And I will show you something different from either

Your shadow at morning striding behind you

Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;

I will show you fear in a handful of dust.

-T.S. Eliot, The Waste Land

 

I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness,
starving hysterical naked,
dragging themselves through the negro streets at dawn looking
for an angry fix,
angelheaded hipsters burning for the ancient heavenly
connection to the starry dynamo in the machinery of night

-Allen Ginsburg, Howl

 
* * *

 

1.0 – Intro
You awake.
 
When did you lie down to sleep, and for how long? You know not the answers. Your memory retreats to the darkest corner of your mind, leaving nothing but your name. You know your name... or you think you do. Perhaps it is only a fragment of sound, a piece of something you used to be called.
 
Whatever it is, that name will serve for now.
 
Your eyes are weak, but your surroundings come into focus as you blink the dust away. You lie upon grey sand, underneath a grey sky. Low-hanging clouds threaten rain, but the surrounding desert bears no witness to the threat. Everything is parched and dead. This land has been thirsty for so long, it has forgotten the taste of water.
 
You struggle to your feet. In the distance, you can make out mountainous silhouettes rising above the endless expanse of dusty land, their peaks lost in the clouds. Before them, yet still many miles away, you see a black tower jutting out from the sand. Its foundations obviously long decayed, it leans over the desert like a dead tree, perpetually on the verge of crashing to the ground.
 
Your gaze drifts downward; you see a settlement (if it can be called even that) only a mile or so off. There- that's where you must go. Perhaps the settlement will have water, and some shelter against the bitter wind that begins to pick up, pulling at the sand and at your skin. Perhaps its inhabitants can tell you where you are.
 
Or perhaps it is deserted, like the rest of this desolate land.
 
But you have no other options, so you begin to trudge across the sand. You are desperately thirsty, and your muscles ache; you feel like you have not used them for a very long time. But you are strong enough to walk, at least, and you reach the outskirts of the settlement within half an hour.
 
As you approach, you realize the shelters you saw from a distance are little more than pieces of rusty metal hammered together and erected over holes dug in the sand. One or two have four walls and a roof; the rest can't even be called huts. You attempt to call out, but nothing more than dusty cough escapes your throat.
 
It's enough to alert the inhabitants to your presence. First one pair of eyes, then another, then another; you see gleaming orbs appear in the cracks of each shelter, but their owners say nothing.
 
“Please...” you whisper. “Water...”
 
A long silence follows, then a Matoran emerges from one of the larger shelters. Clad in dark green-brown armour (the metal almost indistinguishable from the rust), he carries a crude spear in one hand and a canteen in the other. He eyes you warily, then speaks.
 
“Wh'are you?”
 
His voice is half-strangled by a thick accent, but you understand well enough. You tell him your name.
 
“Don'now you,” he says with a frown. “Where y'come from?”
 
You point back across the sand, and his frown deepens. “No'ne comes from there.”
 
You shrug. He waits, mulling this over, then tosses you the canteen. You barely catch it, fingers scrabbling greedily over its surface. The water inside is lukewarm and tastes metallic, but you don't care.
 
Sated, you hand the tin back. The Matoran takes it, then beckons for you to follow him deeper into the settlement. You figure he could have killed by now if he wanted to, so you might as well follow. Perhaps you will find the information you seek.

 

2.0 – Overview
Welcome to the Wasteland.
 
It is a vast desert, dry and dead, overhung by dark clouds that promise rain but deliver only acid. Everything is bleached grey and brown, from the harsh sand to the bleak mountains to the handful of villagers who manage to scrape a living out of the rocks. Little lives here, and less survives.
 
You are a being who has awoken on the sands a little south of the Settlement. You do not remember how you got there or even who you are; all you remember is your name. Travelling north, you have been allowed to make whatever living you can in the Settlement, which its inhabitants call Canus.
 
Canus is populated by roughly two dozen Matoran who do what they can to survive. No Toa live here; the villagers say that all Toa serve the Queen, who lives in her Tower to the north. The Queen controls the only fresh spring in the Wasteland, trading water for artifacts and supplies scavenged from the desert.
 
The villagers are all half-mad -it's the only way to cope with an eternity of barely surviving- but most are relatively harmless until you threaten them or their belongings. Each day, some of them venture into the Wastes to scavenge what materials they can find to trade for water. At night, when the desert turns bitterly cold, they will stay in their huts and swap stories, each more outlandish than the last. Perhaps there is some truth in their tales, but it's not an easy job distinguishing the two.
 
A stranger in this land, your destiny is up to you. Whether you wish to brave the Wastes or merely survive another day in the Settlement, the choice is yours. Be wise in your decision: the desert holds many mysteries, but it is not forgiving to those who dare to seek them.

 

3.0 – Locations

The Settlement, named Canus by its inhabitants, lies on a plateau of sorts, elevated above the Wastes. The ground is rocky and barren, but some few things manage to survive here, including the villagers. The Settlement itself is little more than a collection of shacks built of rusty metal and canvas, material scavenged from the Wastes.

 
To the north of the Settlement stands the Tower. Once a proud iron spike that rose high into the sky, it now leans precariously to one side. It is here that the Queen makes her court, and it is also here where the only spring in the Wasteland can be found.
 
To the north, beyond the Tower, lie the Black Mountains. Tall and jagged, their peaks pierce the clouds. No one in living memory has scaled them, or crossed through them to see what -if anything- lies beyond.
 
To the west and the south lie the Wastes, a vast desert bordered by low cliffs. It is a deadly place, ever threatened by acid storms and terrifying sandstorms. It is here the villagers scavenge most of their metal and inorganic supplies, but few dare to venture farther than a mile or two, fearing the storms that may rise up at any moment.
 
To the east lie empty sands. Beyond them, Raka, a legendary city made entirely of metal, is said to have been taken over long ago by nightmarish beasts. No one is sure if the city or the beasts really exist, but anyone desperate enough to make the journey is never seen again.

 

4.0 – NPCs

NPCs (or Non-Player Characters) are characters played by the staff to advance the plot and give colour to the world. These characters usually stay in the background, speaking only when spoken to or when the plot demands.

 
Other NPCs may be revealed as the game progresses.

 

4.1 - Major NPCs

These NPCs are played exclusively by the staff and may have a role in the game's plot. They are “major” only because they're named; you may attempt to attack them, kidnap them, bargain with them, etc. However, be wise in your decisions, as some of these NPCs are much more powerful than you.
 
The Blue Queen is the self-proclaimed ruler of the Wasteland. No one would say it to her face, but this Toa of Water is often referred to as the Mad Queen, as she is unpredictable, pleasant and hostile by turns as her fancy pleases. At some point in time, she took control of the only spring of fresh water in the Wasteland and has kept it under close guard ever since. This is the key to her power: without that water, nothing in the Wasteland could survive.
 
Takava is the right hand of the Queen, guarding the Tower and the spring it houses. Thin and menacing, his armour is bleached white as bone, lending him a skeletal appearance.
 
Nua has led the Settlement since time immemorial. It was this Turaga who first struck the bargain with the Queen to allow his villagers to trade scavenged goods for water. That was many years ago; now he spends most of his time in his hut, lost in dreams of the past.
 
As Nua slips deeper into his memories, Maru, his right hand, has taken on more and more of the Settlement's responsibilities. This Matoran is thoughtful and cautious, and seems more sane than most.

 

4.2 - Minor NPCs

The Settlement is populated by roughly two dozen Matoran. These NPCs are entirely average. They can be played by the staff, but regular players may take control of them for brief interactions.

 

5.0 – Player Characters

The two primary rules regarding character creation: players may only play as Matoran, and each profile must include a legitimate weakness. For best results, use the profile template below:

 

Name: (what are you called?)
Race: (what type of Matoran are you? See section 4.2 below for available types)
Gender: (male, female, neither, or other?)
Mask: (you may possess one powerless mask.)
Abilities/Skills: (what are you good at?)
Weapons/Equipment: (what weapons & equipment do you carry? See notes in section 4.3 below)
Appearance: (what do you look like?)
Personality: (what are you like? List your likes, dislikes, pet peeves, etc.)
Weaknesses: (list any flaws you have. This section is mandatory. See section 4.4 below)
Biography: (what events have taken place since your awakening on the sands?)

 

5.1 - Matoran Types
Ta-Matoran (Fire): enhanced heat tolerance.
Ko-Matoran (Ice): enhanced cold tolerance.
Ga-Matoran (Water): able to hold breath for longer periods of time.
Le-Matoran (Air): enhanced agility.
Po-Matoran (Stone): enhanced strength.
Onu-Matoran (Earth): enhanced night vision.
Vo-Matoran (Lightning): resistance to electric shocks.
Fa-Matoran (Magnetism): internal compass & good sense of direction.
Su-Matoran (Plasma): eye protection against bright light & limited heat tolerance.
Ba-Matoran (Gravity): resistance to gravitational pressure.
De-Matoran (Sonics): enhanced hearing.
Bo-Matoran (Jungle): innate understanding of plants & resistant to poison.
Fe-Matoran (Iron): enhanced endurance.
Ce-Matoran (Psionics): resistance to mind control & telepathy.
Av-Matoran (Light): able to instinctively alter armour colour.
Shadow Matoran: not permitted to play. Shadow Matoran profiles will not be approved.

 

 

5.2 - Equipment & Weapons

Your character wakes on the sands with nothing. Therefore, any equipment and weapons they possess must have been scavenged from the Wastes, or made with scavenged materials. Advanced technology is nonexistent, and basic tech is unreliable.

 

5.3 - Weaknesses

All characters must possess a minimum of one legitimate weakness or character flaw. Perfect characters are no fun to interact with, and they quickly become boring to play (trust me). Your character doesn't have to be paralysed from the waist down, but should have some flaw more hindering than an allergy to chocolate. Below are some examples, but feel free to come up with your own!

 

Some examples of appropriate weaknesses
Easily influenced by others.
Gets tired quickly.
Easily influenced by emotions.
Hot-headed.
Poor vision.
Missing left hand.
Doesn't know how to fight.

 

6.0 – Rules & Guidelines

This RPG is largely sandbox, with character allowed to go and do whatever they like. That said, there are a few things to keep in mind:

i. All BZP rules apply.

ii. Play fairly. Coming up with new equipment or skills out of nowhere, dodging or blocking all attacks, and dishing out absurd amounts of damage are all examples of godmodding, which is no fun for other players. Getting your hands on functional weapons and equipment should be difficult; simply pulling them out of your back pocket is frowned upon. (Remember: this is a Wasteland. It's not supposed to be easy!)

iii. Keep in-character and out-of-character knowledge separate. This is an important distinction to make: your character's knowledge is separate from your own knowledge as a player. A Matoran living in the Settlement won't be aware of another Matoran discovering a haven beyond the mountains unless someone comes back and tells them.

iv. Play your own character. You may control some NPCs to a degree, but leave player characters to their owners, unless you have their permission. This is especially important in combat: you do not decide whether your attacks land; that is up to the player of your opponent.

v. Use the acronym 'IC' (In-Character) when speaking as your character, and use the acronym 'OOC' (Out-Of-Character) when speaking as a player in the game topic. This helps to distinguish between character knowledge and player knowledge.

vi. All profiles must be approved by staff before playing.

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You may want to fix up the numbers here:

 

Race: (what type of Matoran are you? See section 4.2 below for available types)

Weapons/Equipment: (what weapons & equipment do you carry? See notes in section 4.3 below)
Weaknesses: (list any flaws you have. This section is mandatory. See section 4.4 below)

 

But apart from that, I don't think there's anything I have any comments/questions about. 

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even if the plot did have something to do with Spherus Magna being ruled by the Makuta (which it doesn't, as the GSR hasn't arrived on Bara Magna yet, and thus hasn't had a chance to reform the planet, or even deposit said Makuta onto its surface)

 

Taken from Relentless Link 2

 

More specifically, the game takes place somewhere on an alternate Bara Magna while a certain Makuta is still in control of the GSR

 

See I took this to mean that we're on Bara Magna while Makutatron is also on Bara Magna. Because how else would we have species like Toa and Skakdi around? They don't exist anywhere outside of the MU. 

Not wanting to spoil things is one thing, but doing things in the way you're doing is making it tricky if not downright impossible to provide feedback. Because how can I know if its something that needs improving or if its something you've deliberately left out? How can I tell if you've not explained something, or if you did and its just five pages back in a different link? You're just not doing yourself any favours by posting things piecemeal

 

 

Believe me, that's still one of the many things I'm still in the process of fine-tuning. Part of it will be explained during the intro, which I'm also working on finishing up at the moment, but part of it is also revealed via story progression, which is why I haven't supplied any further information regarding that topic as of yet.

Either way, if you truly believe that anything I've been posting so far needs improvement, whether I've deliberately left out something relevant or not, then feel free to address your concerns, and I'll do my best to alleviate them. I may only be working on my second year here on BZPower, but, at least to me, anyway, not doing so kind of defeats the purpose of this topic's existence. Just saying.

Also, the site has a nasty habit of logging me out when I attempt to type up larger posts, or if I simply take too long to properly compose one, which is part of the reason why I've been using the links to begin with. Now, I don't know if I'm the only one this happens to or not, but I'd rather avoid the absolute Karzfest of having to sign back in, refresh the page, and potentially lose what I've been working on for the past hour multiple times in a row for the same post unless it's absolutely necessary for me to do so.

Edited by Timageness

Epics: 

Hero Factory: Contagion

RPG Characters:

BZPRPG Characters

RPG History:

The Asylum, Bionifight Infinite, Year 60,000, Matoran und Panzer, HF RPG 2.0, Wasteland, Corpus Rahkshi, Skyrise

GM Résumé:

Matoran und Panzer (Formerly Appointed Co-GM), Corpus Rahkshi (Former Substitute Co-GM)

 

 

Feel free to shoot a PM my way if you're waiting for me to respond to something and I've been taking a while to do so.

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@Nato: nice catch! I obviously missed those when I reorganised the sections. Thank you!

 

@Timageness: I have to agree with Wyrd here: it's difficult to offer criticism on bits and pieces of an RPG. However, I also acknowledge that BZP's text editor can often leave something to be desired. What I do (and what I recommend you do) is write up my longer posts in Word or another text editor, then copy the text over to the BZP editor to post. That way you have a copy in case something happens. :)

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I'll just stop posting in here entirely until I have enough to type up a complete draft, then.

Might as well chalk that up to one less thing I have to deal with in the immediate future anyway.

Epics: 

Hero Factory: Contagion

RPG Characters:

BZPRPG Characters

RPG History:

The Asylum, Bionifight Infinite, Year 60,000, Matoran und Panzer, HF RPG 2.0, Wasteland, Corpus Rahkshi, Skyrise

GM Résumé:

Matoran und Panzer (Formerly Appointed Co-GM), Corpus Rahkshi (Former Substitute Co-GM)

 

 

Feel free to shoot a PM my way if you're waiting for me to respond to something and I've been taking a while to do so.

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  • 1 month later...

Last Stand

 

 

The Toa are dead, killed by Makuta in his lair deep underground. Darkness falls over the island of Mata Nui, and there is nothing left to stop it. Even the vaunted Toa of Light, formerly known as Takua has fallen to the darkness. Makuta's one weakness undone by his shadowy hands. Le-Wahi is little more than a smoldering plain. Po-Wahi sits arid as ever, baking in the sun, the village overtaken by plague. The great tunnels of Onu-Koro are all collapsed. Ta-koro is sunken beneath the lava flows, and Ga-Koro similarly beneath the waves. Ko-Koro stands as the last bastion of the Matoran way of life, solitary in the icy drifts. Here, the remaining Matoran and Turaga have rallied, a final stand in the face of impossible odds.

 

Welcome to the end.

 

 

Setting

 

As described above, most of Mata Nui is gone, with only Ko-Koro still standing, an icy fortress in the mountains. Here the Matoran and the Turaga who guide them stand resolute in the face of doom. The village has become something more akin to a small city, icy walls reinforced with a lattice of stone and frozen earth. the vast armies of Rahi and Bohrok that the Makuta once employed have pounded relentlessly against the city, worn thin by the surprisingly organised resistance. That said, the Matoran are at their wit's end. Something has to give, and many fear it will be the city, rather than the Makuta. Nuparu has evened the odds somewhat with his Boxors, but it is only a matter of time before they too are overwhelmed.

 

Important areas

 

The Walls- the outermost area of the city, constantly manned by keen sighted Matoran, fitted with telescopic lenses. A section of the wall is carved with the names of fallen Matoran, whether infected by the Makuta, killed, or ensnared by the Krana of the Bohrok.

 

Residential area- a collection of hastily constructed abodes alongside the oldest huts, this area hosts the population in tall buildings separated into four floors. Each floor can house four Matoran, though space is somewhat limited.

 

Market- a small array of shops serves to make tools and weapons for the resistance fighters. Nuparu's workshop can be found here.

 

Sanctum- as old as Ko-Koro itself, the sanctum has become the home of the Turaga, and they can often be found here.

 

Resistance HQ- This large building in the Center of the city is where resistance members gather to train and get assignments for their duties. Jaller can often be found here, organising troops.

 

Hydroponics Center- maintained mostly by Ga-Matoran, this insulated building provides much needed food for the city. A series of light and heat stones enables plants of many varieties to grow.

 

Gukko Nest- somewhat self explanatory, this is where the Le-Matoran maintain their birds. Kongu almost exclusively remains here.

 

 

 

 

Characters

 

Here you will play as one of the six varieties of matoran from MAta Nui.

 

Ta Matoran were once defined by their imperial brashness and occasionally fiery tempers. The icy tundra has tempered this, and the average Ta-Matoran is a bold defender, fighting hard to avenge their lost home. They dislike the cold intensely, but the years have adapted them to it's icy embrace. a good supply of heatstones never hurt, either.

 

Onu-Matoran, widey considered the hardiest of the lot, were among first to retreat from their cavernous homes, the Shadows providing easy prey for the Makuta. Brilliant engineers, they have strengthened Ko-Koro immensely, coming up with new weapons and defensive measures to combat the armies of the Makuta.

 

Po-Matoran, brave and strong, have taken to the icy plains more easily than expected, adding their own architectural prowess to the icy fortress, giving it a stubborn strength matched only by the Po-Matoran themselves. They form the backbone of the resistance.

 

Le-Matoran, now few in number due to the early devastation of their home, are now a solemn lot, their cheerful nature burnt away. Their remaining members make up the Gukko force of Ko-Koro, maintaining the birds and their young in the fight to protect what remains of their people. They have become colder perhaps, than even the Ko-Matoran who now host them.

 

Ga-Matoran, The last to retreat from the oncoming hordes, the Ga-Matoran showed just how fierce their element could be in the final battles for Ga-Koro. Massive boats armed with numerous Ga-Matoran defended the floating village with a rightous anger that left the other villages in awe. Out of place in Ko-Koro, they have found ways of growing food not native to the icy wastes.

 

Ko-Matoran, solitary creatures of ice, have changed little, but have become more hospitable in the years since the defeat of the other villages. Their icy home resists all attempts to melt it, and the Ko-Matoran have taken this as a sign that perhaps their protectors still look after them in some way, even in death. Curt and short spoken, Ko-Matoran defend their home with cold determination.

 

The Turaga do their best to lead their people, but they are not warriors at heart. Nokama and Onewa have taken an active role in helping the resistance, Vakama and Matau have all but locked themselves away, and Nuju and Whenua have simply continued to be the wise advisors they'd always been.

 

The Makuta's forces are not as numerous as they once were. Many of the larger Rahi have been hunted to near extinction to prevent their use by the lord of shadows. The Bohrok, too, are finding their numbers dwindling. The strange insectoid robots no longer throw themselves against resistance without abandon. Recently Bohrok Kaitas have been spotted, but have made no attempts on the city as of yet.

 

 

 

Character profile

 

Name:

Gender:

Element:

Weapons/Tools:

Personality:

Edited by The Amaztastical Lynn
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As much as a new RPG makes me happy, I can't help but think, "What's the point?" When I look at this game.

 

Obviously it's supposed to take place in dark desperate times. That's not what I have a problem with. It's the distinct lack of any possible way for (assumedly) the players to win. The RPG looks like a horde mode defense game at present.

 

The setting is solid enough, although there are a few areas I can see that could be improved. For example, how has Ko-Koro changed? You say that it is now more like a city but how did it get like that? Did they expand into the glacier? What new important buildings have popped up with all the renovations?

 

Also maybe expand a bit more on what each group of Matoran brought to the fight. What sort of inventions have the Onu-Matoran come up with and did they being any Ussals. Are the Ta-Koro Guard still an elite fighting force? Do the Ga-Matoran actually bring anythinto the fight beyond bodies and guts?

 

 

I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's a good base, but the current version is just that, a base. It needs to be significantly fleshed out.

  • Upvote 1

"I serve the weak. I serve the helpless. I am their sword and their shield. If you want to strike at them, you must go through me, and I am not so easily moved."

zsUPm2E.jpg?1

 

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I love the idea, but would expand the setting a little more, seeing as having most of the action take place in one koro might make things get a little stale and repetitive.

 

Random Question: What would you all say to an Rpg taking place in the Toa Empire universe, after the fall of Tuyet? I've always wanted to explore that idea... Having players either take the roles of the Toa or the other species could provide some great story on how/if the Empire continues.

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Thank you to the Dark Beings Banner and Avatar Shop for the banner! Brickshelf Gallery  BZPRPG Profiles 

 

 

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Had an idea, and with how slow everything is I thought I might as well post. Obviously still heavy WIP, but I thought I'd get some feedback before going farther.

 

Cinderbrick

 

Firstly, there was the Shatterin’. The world shook beneath our feet, spouts of stone and protodermis eruptin’ all ‘round. We lost many good folks that day, but the worst was yet to come.

 

The dust’d hardly settled before the War broke out. Them Toa thought they deserved the food and shelter we’d all worked fer after they done broke our home. Well, we showed them. We showed them…

 

Years passed, then centuries. Always, there was the War. Wake up, kill, sleep on your sword.  Each day, there were sore losses on every side. Some of us went mad with grief and exhaustion. Finally, folks had enough, then the real hard part began: peace. After killin’ each other for so long, we had to settle down right near each other to fix this planet together. We needed each other then, though we knew it couldn’t last.

 

 

Welcome to the town of Cinderbrick, a backwater little village in the middle of the vast Bara Magna desert. Thousands of years ago, the Toa and Matoran were created by the Great Beings in an attempt to repair their fragile planet. Their efforts only exacerbated the eventual Shattering, splitting the planet into dozens of shards and removing the Great Beings from their presence. A war for the few precious resources of their world broke out, decimating the entire population. Now, after thousands of years of conflict, Glatorian, Agori, Toa, and Matoran live together in an uneasy peace. It’s a powder keg ready to explode all over again.

 

The Native Glatorian and Agori tribes reign here, with Toa and Matoran (collectively known as “Biomechs”) living as second class citizens. They are kept from the usual meeting grounds and downtrodden at every opportunity. The usage of elemental powers is strictly forbidden and enforced by the town sheriff, a Fire Tribe Glatorian named Havaro. Of course, there are other means of settling disputes away from his watchful eye.

 

Scavengers roam the deserts picking up any scraps of tech the Great Beings left behind. The knowledge of how to create such devices was lost with them in the Shattering, and today these “Relics” are whispered to contain mystical properties. Over time and through the years of war, the Great Beings themselves have ascended from great inventors to gods who punish or protect as they see fit.

 

Locations

Shrine of Freyja: In the very heart of the town stands a towering robed statue with an intricate 36-hour clock resting between her hands. This is Freyja, Great Being of Time and Patience as well as the town’s patron goddess. Candles and offerings rest at her feet. Surrounding her is an ancient edifice of blackened brickwork that predates the rest of the town. Long ago, a crude wooden building was constructed around this to act as residence for a mayor, yet no one has taken the job and the building has fallen to ruin. Sheriff Havaro seems to have taken up residence here in some odd sort of fantasy.

 

Sheriff’s Office: On the left side of the dirt street that leads to Freyja’s shrine sits a squat shack where Sheriff Havaro takes his visitors and suspects. Official business can be taken here, though it must first pass the judgement of the Sheriff himself.

 

Marketplace: Next to the Sheriff’s Office lies a sprawling maze of tents, boxes, and vendors of all sorts. If you can’t find it here, you can’t find it anywhere. Food, weapons, and the occasional Relic are offered up for trade here.

 

Shard’s Saloon: Directly opposite the Sheriff’s Office lies the town’s watering hole. Here Natives can sit and have a drink or talk over old times. Though Biomechs aren’t necessarily forbidden from entry, they can expect to be “forcibly removed” by the regulars.

 

Native Residences: Lining the rest of the streets before and around Freyja’s Shrine is a modest collection of rickety structures. It ain’t much, but most of the town’s Natives call it home. Some of them have set up shop for small trades and services you might not find at the Marketplace.

 

Biomech Residences: Beyond this lies the crude stone huts reserved for Toa and Matoran. They are hot, dusty, and poorly furnished as all the Biomech areas must be.

 

Deserts: Once you pass the outskirts of town, you’ll find yourself in the Bara Magna Deserts. Kio and Kio of sand, rock, and towering mountains lie between you and the nearest settlement. The creatures out here will eat what they can get, be they Native or Biomech. To go alone is certain death. Yet the deserts are beyond Sheriff Havaro’s reach, and conflicts can be “safely” settled here.

 

 

'NPCs

Though “law” is virtually nonexistence in the aftermath of the war, you can trust Sheriff Havaro to enforce it as he sees fit. Being a Glatorian of the Fire Tribe, he tends to be far more lenient to the Native population while always searching for some reason to punish the Biomechs. His armor is light and simple, consisting of only a wide-brimmed helmet and a small chestplate over his clothes. At once side he wields a basic gladius, at the other, a Great Being Relic that can deliver powerful electric shocks, calibrated for pain and then incapacitation.

 

Shard is the Water Tribe Agori that runs Shard’s Saloon. As long as the money is coming in, he doesn’t care who hands it to him, though he has learned to keep his mouth shut when Toa walk in his door. He wears a rough dark blue tunic with a white apron that his enormous belly protrudes over. His only ornamentation is a metal band around his bald head and two metal pads covering his shoulders.

 

 

Player Profiles

For clarity's sake, this suggested profile template is provided for your characters:

 

Name: What’re we to call you?

 

Species: Ain’t much else out there beyond Glatorian, Agori, Toa, and Matoran. Turaga are few and far between, wise counselors that can learn you in the mysteries of the elements.

The real question is what kind are you? Natives come in Fire, Water, Jungle, Ice, and Skrall. Iron tribe used to be cast aside, but war really puts your fellows in a new light. Biomechs are much the same, with Fire, Water, Air, Ice, Stone, and Earth, yet some o’ them are learnin’ some new tricks (see “Specialized Elements”).

 

Gender: I hope you know how to answer that one.

 

Gear: Can’t go nowhere ‘round these parts without something to defend yerself. Swords and spears and the like are easy enough to find. Some folks even found themselves some low-powered Relics.

Before the war, the Great Beings blessed us Natives with mechanical modifications fer improvin’ speed, strength, eyesight, and such. Biomechs on the other hand, have them “Kanohi Masks” fer the same purpose.

 

Appearance: How do other folks see you? Natives tend to be fleshier than them Biomechs and come in all colors. Most of them wear clothes and armor to protect themselves.

Biomechs are a strange combination of muscle and technology with armor plating all over. Their colors tend to vary with their elements.

 

Personality: What’re you like? Are you funny or serious, tolerant or mean? Who do you like, who don’t you like?

 

Bio: Most folks know of the war, lessen they be new to this world. How’d you spend your days before, what battles did you win or lose? What have you been getting up to in the quiet since then?

 

Though the possibilities for character creation are practically limitless, keep your technology, weaponry, and special abilities at a reasonable level. If they seem unreasonable, they may not be approved.

 

Specialized Elements

The basic six elements were never meant to be the end of it. Turaga and Toa began to find the capabilities for new elements within themselves, and they trained these capabilities until a new element was created. In the end of the war and the years that followed, most Toa had specialized their elemental abilities, losing control over their old while gaining greater control over something new.

 

The skill necessary to master these elements varied with the power level and base element. Toa of Stone or Ice could easily master Crystal, while a Toa of Water may never reach it, but could learn Weather Control. Immoral elements such as Erosion, Flesh, and East Wind, the devastating combination of Air and Ice, proved difficult to harness for all. For an idea of how these specialized elements could progress, see this example chart.

 

 

To Be Added:

 

Relic Quest System

 

Deception and Intrigue

 

Toa-sympathetic Natives and vice versa

Edited by Click
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So... this is a Pseudo-western themed RPG? In that case, consider me interested.

 

Yep, that's the basic idea. Bit of Western, bit of wasteland survival, bit of questing, and a whole lot of short tempers.

 

Added NPCs, Player Profiles, and Specialized Elements sections to the above.

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Aww, neither of my fave Toa elements are in there.

That's what the specialized elements section is for. You can start with the basic six and then go on to just about anything, canon or not. I have an example chart in there, but that is not the limit for what you can do

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Ah, okay, I understand. The examples you gave above made me misunderstand. Okie, so only the base six are available as starting elements, right? So the secondary elements(Lightning etc) are off-limits.

 

Also, the idea of power over Kinetics seems awesome. Data seems slightly confusing.

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It seems like most of the secondary elements could easily be created as "specialised elements". Plasma would probably be an offshoot of air or fire, magnetism or gravity as extensions of earth or stone, and so on. 

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Ah, okay, I understand. The examples you gave above made me misunderstand. Okie, so only the base six are available as starting elements, right? So the secondary elements(Lightning etc) are off-limits.

 

Also, the idea of power over Kinetics seems awesome. Data seems slightly confusing.

My idea behind that was that the GBs didn't have time/need for anything else, but the Toa still learned new elements despite that. Specialized elements can be learned prior to gameplay (as long as it isn't some super complicated, legendary, or immoral element), so you could submit a "Toa of Lightning" if you so desired. I probably should work on making all of that clearer (the flavor text doesn't help)

 

Plus, it gives you all the reason in the world to have a female Toa of Fire or a male Toa of Lightning!

 

Kinetics is one of my favorites too. :D Data is mostly the manipulation of computer code, something you probably won't have much use for in this game.

 

 

It seems like most of the secondary elements could easily be created as "specialised elements". Plasma would probably be an offshoot of air or fire, magnetism or gravity as extensions of earth or stone, and so on.

That's the idea. All of the secondary elements are in that example chart, plus quite a few extras to get your creativity going.

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Okay, that's cool.

*deep gravely voice*I can work with this.

Alright, so, plot-wise, how long has it been since the war ended? Has it been generations, or are some surviving war veterans still alive and kicking?

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Last Stand: Better than before, the Ga-Matoran now have a reason for being there. Still needs a good plot hook though.

 

Also, I would see if you could add some character to the way it's written. What you have is hardly boring, but it hardly grabs the reader and makes them interested in your world.

 

Cinderbrick: I can't say that the setting interests me a lot. And I can't help but wonder where the town's food and water come from.

 

However I absolutely love your non-canon version of elemental powers, it reminds me of what it was like before all of Bionicle's mystery got explained away. Also I appreciate that you have distinct differences between Glatorian and Toa.

"I serve the weak. I serve the helpless. I am their sword and their shield. If you want to strike at them, you must go through me, and I am not so easily moved."

zsUPm2E.jpg?1

 

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Alright, so, plot-wise, how long has it been since the war ended? Has it been generations, or are some surviving war veterans still alive and kicking?

 

I'd say no more than a decade. And considering all featured species have absurdly long lifespans, I'm sure the majority of them still remember the Shattering. Still, there's room for some younger characters who only came in at the end of the war.

 

 

Cinderbrick: I can't say that the setting interests me a lot. And I can't help but wonder where the town's food and water come from.

 

However I absolutely love your non-canon version of elemental powers, it reminds me of what it was like before all of Bionicle's mystery got explained away. Also I appreciate that you have distinct differences between Glatorian and Toa.

 

Thanks! Any ideas on how I could improve the setting (and I'll try to come up with something for supplies...)?

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I'm just not a fan of Bionicle Westerns, (now with less guns and more racism!) It's a genre problem.

 

Now that I think about it though, since I assume that the War ended in something like a draw, why are the biomechs treated as second class citizens?

"I serve the weak. I serve the helpless. I am their sword and their shield. If you want to strike at them, you must go through me, and I am not so easily moved."

zsUPm2E.jpg?1

 

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I'm just not a fan of Bionicle Westerns, (now with less guns and more racism!) It's a genre problem.

Fair enough. I was worried about the whole class distinction thing becoming a problem, but I guess in a way it's supposed to provide some balance to the game. Toa have all the elemental powers, while Natives have political power.

 

Now that I think about it though, since I assume that the War ended in something like a draw, why are the biomechs treated as second class citizens?

 

It's mostly just an individual characteristic of Cinderbrick. I'm sure there are other towns where Biomechs are equal or even greater than Natives, but here the Natives are dominant and hold all positions of power. They can do what they want with the Biomechs. Like I said, it's an attempt at balance.

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