IcarusBen Posted June 8, 2015 Share Posted June 8, 2015 I can't speak for anyone else here, but frankly, I'd find it kind of annoying if one of my characters were in an epic naval battle, only for it to be interrupted by a permanently drunk pirate running around and screaming "I have a jar of dirt" for absolutely no reason at all. And, of course, I'll be the one playing that pirate yelling "I've got a jar of dirt!" Quote LEGO Republic:The ValkyrieThe "Christmas Brick" My BZPRPG Profiles Now a proud member of The Kanohi Force Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prowl Nightwolf Posted June 8, 2015 Share Posted June 8, 2015 I can't speak for anyone else here, but frankly, I'd find it kind of annoying if one of my characters were in an epic naval battle, only for it to be interrupted by a permanently drunk pirate running around and screaming "I have a jar of dirt" for absolutely no reason at all. While that is a funny picture to see and I have multiple times as each time I watch the movie the scene is in there I don't think that particular phrase would come up in our RP... I can't speak for anyone else here, but frankly, I'd find it kind of annoying if one of my characters were in an epic naval battle, only for it to be interrupted by a permanently drunk pirate running around and screaming "I have a jar of dirt" for absolutely no reason at all. And, of course, I'll be the one playing that pirate yelling "I've got a jar of dirt!" *sigh* I stand corrected. Still does that mean if I choose to make a drunkard character because it would be kind of interesting to play as I don't drink myself at all but can be equally crazy under my own accord, it would get denied under the premise of the "Jack Sparrow" clause in the RP rules. Or is it more of the Dux Ex Machina rule that somehow this particular Drunkard always seems to get out of every thing unshaved and always seems to have a plan even when he doesn't. Thus he is well beyond the boarderline God modding. Quote "A stranger will always be a stranger unless you give them a chance." || <- My Pokémon | BZPRPG Characters: Po-Matoran Doseki & Nui-Jaga Scorpio; Ga-Matoran Orca Matoran und Panzer: Doseki & Glitch | Marvel RP PC | Mata Nui Monopoly: Come... Own a piece of the legend! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FallenAtlas Posted June 8, 2015 Share Posted June 8, 2015 I can't speak for anyone else here, but frankly, I'd find it kind of annoying if one of my characters were in an epic naval battle, only for it to be interrupted by a permanently drunk pirate running around and screaming "I have a jar of dirt" for absolutely no reason at all. And, of course, I'll be the one playing that pirate yelling "I've got a jar of dirt!"*sigh* I stand corrected. Still does that mean if I choose to make a drunkard character because it would be kind of interesting to play as I don't drink myself at all but can be equally crazy under my own accord, it would get denied under the premise of the "Jack Sparrow" clause in the RP rules. Or is it more of the Dux Ex Machina rule that somehow this particular Drunkard always seems to get out of every thing unshaved and always seems to have a plan even when he doesn't. Thus he is well beyond the boarderline God modding. Not the GM, but if your Drunkard is unique and shows thought, I would approve it. But just because they are drunk isn't a free save everytime. I'd kill that character off if I found him/her being played in that manner. Quote Short Stories: A Chance Meeting | The Destiny of Teridax | End of An Island | A Conversation | Hurt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not Quite Dead Posted June 8, 2015 Share Posted June 8, 2015 Are we airing ideas right now? What? Battle Royale based on pairs of fighters composed of a Master, likely an Agori or Matoran. And a Servant, who is a hero, villain or legend of the past summoned and contracted as a familiar to the Master. Besides the Master possessing three Seals that enforce a single absolute command each, the Servant is autonomous and played by a separate player from the Master. We'll call this plot point A.When? Undetermined number of years post-canon, long enough that every canon character is dead for plot point A.Where? Simulated arena that starts off as Metru-Nui during a time of relative peace, meaning a full and interactive city to make for juicy tactical espionage action. Said arena may or may not be in a timeloop of some sort with big events transpiring during the loop, the players would be aware of this loop, to allow for planning and manipulation of events to their advantage.How? As of yet unnamed macguffin that allows for and powers the summoning of dead legends.Why? To win the unnamed macguffin, plus other plot reasons. Now, a couple further points. Summoned spirits would be from the Red Star, for plot convenience this is made to work as a backup storage system of sorts which is kind of outside normal time. It would save snapshots of everyone in the MU/SM every so often, with the possibility of multiple saves existing. For example, Vakama, Vakama Metru, Vakama Hordika and Turaga Vakama would all be available for summoning, with correspondingly different power and gear sets. They would also be summoned into a class, more or less. Not named as, but basically representing concepts like Fighter, Swordsman/Knight, Warrior, Mage, Rogue, Cleric, Ruler, Assassin, Archer, stuff like that. They would be given their class name as a codename of sorts to use, because if you can learn the true name and identity of a Servant you could get clues as to their tactics, powers etc. Thing is, different people might be eligible for multiple classes and different classes would accentuate different parts of their legend. Someone like Vakama Metru could be summoned as say, an Archer (requirement of powerful ranged weaponry) or Mage (requirement of powerful or unique powers and prowess with them) and would get corresponding bonuses or nerfs. Finally, each legend would have a trump card of sorts, knowledge of which is the biggest thing an enemy would stand to gain by learning their true name. What exactly this would be would depend on what class they were summoned as. Using Vakama as an example, summoning him into the Archer class might make the usage of the various great kanoka his trump and increased visual and aural senses his passive. While as a Caster he'd have access to the Vahi and boosted elemental energy. As a Rogue he'd be squishier and weaker, but his Huna would get boosted and his general stealthiness increased. Original characters that would fit into the MU/SM canon would of course be allowed and there's stuff I haven't written here, because it's a big idea. #retweeting 1 Quote ...but close to it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
They Posted June 10, 2015 Share Posted June 10, 2015 So, Bionicle = Fate series? Quote http://www.bzpower.com/board/index.php?showtopic=9733&page=2&do=findComment&comment=546628 Link for the BZPRPG 2013 arc profiles. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not Quite Dead Posted June 10, 2015 Share Posted June 10, 2015 Less contrivances and plot powered silliness, but yes. 1 Quote ...but close to it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
They Posted June 10, 2015 Share Posted June 10, 2015 Ah, hmm... Will it be like the anime or the game? Quote http://www.bzpower.com/board/index.php?showtopic=9733&page=2&do=findComment&comment=546628 Link for the BZPRPG 2013 arc profiles. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not Quite Dead Posted June 10, 2015 Share Posted June 10, 2015 Eh, besides the basic premise and set up, I'm not taking too many cues from any part of the franchise. Quote ...but close to it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
They Posted June 10, 2015 Share Posted June 10, 2015 (edited) I like the idea of having a Fate system, but what kind of pre-designed summons are you thinking of? How do you see this playing out if, say, two Vakamas exist where one is Archer and the other is Caster? Additionally, how would Summon stat generation happen? Edited June 10, 2015 by Kughii Quote http://www.bzpower.com/board/index.php?showtopic=9733&page=2&do=findComment&comment=546628 Link for the BZPRPG 2013 arc profiles. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not Quite Dead Posted June 10, 2015 Share Posted June 10, 2015 All seven from Fate, probably at least two or three others that'd fit well with Bionicle. Stats don't work out too well around here, so they'll likely be canned. Quote ...but close to it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IcarusBen Posted June 10, 2015 Share Posted June 10, 2015 @Prowl - I'd have a very good reason for yelling "I've got a jar of dirt!" For instance, it makes a very good distraction. 1 Quote LEGO Republic:The ValkyrieThe "Christmas Brick" My BZPRPG Profiles Now a proud member of The Kanohi Force Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prowl Nightwolf Posted June 11, 2015 Share Posted June 11, 2015 @Prowl - I'd have a very good reason for yelling "I've got a jar of dirt!" For instance, it makes a very good distraction.Well I suppose any drunkard yelling anything in a stupor would be ample distraction. Right up until he gets a cannon ball to the chest. There, no more distraction. While I know why Jack was saying it thinking Jones' heart was in it. how would that translate to a Bionicle setting though. I mean I don't really think any of the elements would care directly if somebody had a jar of dirt. Unless you were an earth aligned character. Even still a jar is hardly a threat... Quote "A stranger will always be a stranger unless you give them a chance." || <- My Pokémon | BZPRPG Characters: Po-Matoran Doseki & Nui-Jaga Scorpio; Ga-Matoran Orca Matoran und Panzer: Doseki & Glitch | Marvel RP PC | Mata Nui Monopoly: Come... Own a piece of the legend! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IcarusBen Posted June 11, 2015 Share Posted June 11, 2015 If someone runs out yelling "I've got a jar of dirt!" then people are going to be noticing the crazy man, long enough for someone else to sneak up on them. Plus, you can always put an explosive in it. That's always fun. Quote LEGO Republic:The ValkyrieThe "Christmas Brick" My BZPRPG Profiles Now a proud member of The Kanohi Force Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not Quite Dead Posted June 11, 2015 Share Posted June 11, 2015 Not if the targets are genre savvy. Quote ...but close to it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The UltimoScorp Posted June 11, 2015 Share Posted June 11, 2015 Always play dangerously genre savvy characters. ALWAYS. 1 Quote BZPRPG Profiles The Unofficial Guide to TBRPG Combat! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dane-gerous Posted June 11, 2015 Share Posted June 11, 2015 are you guys seriously arguing about if it is justifiable to yell "I'VE GOT A JAR OF DIRT!"? Also Tiragath, that looks awesome Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IcarusBen Posted June 11, 2015 Share Posted June 11, 2015 Not if the targets are genre savvy. Yes, but not all targets are. You might end up with an idiot ball target, just FYI. Quote LEGO Republic:The ValkyrieThe "Christmas Brick" My BZPRPG Profiles Now a proud member of The Kanohi Force Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not Quite Dead Posted June 12, 2015 Share Posted June 12, 2015 I think the person holding the jar is, more or less, the owner of the idiot ball. Quote ...but close to it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nato G Posted June 12, 2015 Share Posted June 12, 2015 Why are we even still discussing this? Quote Embers - a new Bionicle Epic - Teaser Class Is Out - A Farewell To Corpus Rahkshi - Chapters/Review BZPRPG Characters - Minnorak, Kain, T'harrak, Savis, Vazaria, Lash BZPRPG Mercenary Group - The Outsiders - Description - History - Base Ghosts Of Bara Magna - Ash Tribe - Precipere - Kehla, Somok, Skrall, Gayle, Avinus, Zha'ar Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
25K Now! Posted June 12, 2015 Share Posted June 12, 2015 Does anyone remember that food-based RPG I came up with a few months back? Quote http://vimeo.com/198967785 BZPRPG Profiles Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nato G Posted June 12, 2015 Share Posted June 12, 2015 I do, vaguely. Metru Nui, with each region specialising in a different type of cooking? Was that the one? Quote Embers - a new Bionicle Epic - Teaser Class Is Out - A Farewell To Corpus Rahkshi - Chapters/Review BZPRPG Characters - Minnorak, Kain, T'harrak, Savis, Vazaria, Lash BZPRPG Mercenary Group - The Outsiders - Description - History - Base Ghosts Of Bara Magna - Ash Tribe - Precipere - Kehla, Somok, Skrall, Gayle, Avinus, Zha'ar Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
25K Now! Posted June 12, 2015 Share Posted June 12, 2015 Yeah. I feel like revisiting it. Quote http://vimeo.com/198967785 BZPRPG Profiles Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Void Emissary Posted June 12, 2015 Share Posted June 12, 2015 I'd be down for that. -Void Quote [ BZPRPG ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nato G Posted June 12, 2015 Share Posted June 12, 2015 Sounds delicious. 2 Quote Embers - a new Bionicle Epic - Teaser Class Is Out - A Farewell To Corpus Rahkshi - Chapters/Review BZPRPG Characters - Minnorak, Kain, T'harrak, Savis, Vazaria, Lash BZPRPG Mercenary Group - The Outsiders - Description - History - Base Ghosts Of Bara Magna - Ash Tribe - Precipere - Kehla, Somok, Skrall, Gayle, Avinus, Zha'ar Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghidora131 Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 So, rough draft: This RPG follows similar suit to BIONIFIGHT, The Asylum, and The Journey. Yeah, I know, "eeuch Asylum'z in dere eeeg". Large quantity of Matoran on makeshift village that slowly builds into a city, with a few main Matoran and a Turaga leading the show. Outside are dangerous Rahi to watch out for, but you'll have to venture out in order to get resources. You can choose several classes of skill, like smith, stonecutter, carpenter, miner, hunter, or builder, each equipped with set items and a little extra. They'd all need each other to survive, and to construct a city of massive proportions. Along the way, they'd find new technology, better tools, better resources, and tougher foes, until they have constructed a massive cityscape. This is still pretty simplistic, and I'd be willing to have someone help, but so far, it's up for discussion. Please no swiping. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daniel the Finlander Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 (edited) So basically Dwarf Fortress mixed with Bionicle? I'm interested. One problem though, stats are hated here, so the game shouldn't necessarily focus on resources too much. Maybe there could be resource nodes that basically provide an undefined, practically infinite amount of material, but must be defended from Rahi? A quarry would be a good example, as long as it is secure stone can be used for construction and crafting. Another issue: Speaking of construction and crafting, how will they work? There needs to be some kind of limit on creating items and large constructions should be quite difficult to build. Is crafting and construction done IC? Is skill taken into consideration? Edited June 13, 2015 by Daniel the Dwarf Quote still alive somehow BZPRPG profiles Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krayzikk Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 So, rough draft: This RPG follows similar suit to BIONIFIGHT, The Asylum, and The Journey. Yeah, I know, "eeuch Asylum'z in dere eeeg". Large quantity of Matoran on makeshift village that slowly builds into a city, with a few main Matoran and a Turaga leading the show. Outside are dangerous Rahi to watch out for, but you'll have to venture out in order to get resources. You can choose several classes of skill, like smith, stonecutter, carpenter, miner, hunter, or builder, each equipped with set items and a little extra. They'd all need each other to survive, and to construct a city of massive proportions. Along the way, they'd find new technology, better tools, better resources, and tougher foes, until they have constructed a massive cityscape. This is still pretty simplistic, and I'd be willing to have someone help, but so far, it's up for discussion. Please no swiping. I spy a lot of elements that don't really work well for Bionicle RPGs. Resources and development in an RPg is boring to the max, and the concept seems very much like there's one thing to do, and not much outside of it. Quote On this eve, the thirtieth anniversary of that first colony, many are left to wonder; is the world fast approaching a breaking point? Breaking Point: An OTC Mecha RPG Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghidora131 Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 Well, that's why I said it's here for people to add to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voltex Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 Well, that's why I said it's here for people to add to. But you said no swiping Quote JOIN AETHERGARDE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghidora131 Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 I don't want someone to steal every bit of it and go "I madez it all muhself", but if they want to add constructive things to it, they're completely welcome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silvan Haven Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 (edited) I spy a lot of elements that don't really work well for Bionicle RPGs. Resources and development in an RPg is boring to the max, and the concept seems very much like there's one thing to do, and not much outside of it. Clearly you are not a fan of BZP's RTSRPGs. Granted, those tended to have a single person running their own faction. I don't want someone to steal every bit of it and go "I madez it all muhself", but if they want to add constructive things to it, they're completely welcome. That would be called intellectual property and is not really something we have much of a problem with in this sub-forum. Edited June 13, 2015 by Silvan Haven Quote "I serve the weak. I serve the helpless. I am their sword and their shield. If you want to strike at them, you must go through me, and I am not so easily moved." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krayzikk Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 RTSRPGs can work, Silv, though I've yet to see one work in quite a while. Or in the BRPG forum versus the OTC one, because the RTS genre in particular has a very narrow overlap with the BRPG crowd. But the point is moot, because what we have here isn't a RTSRPG; it's more like Civilization where everyone is playing a single citizen inside the nation. Quote On this eve, the thirtieth anniversary of that first colony, many are left to wonder; is the world fast approaching a breaking point? Breaking Point: An OTC Mecha RPG Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silvan Haven Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 We have not even had a RTSRPG in at least a year and there were in fact one or two contest versions that ran about as well as any of the other RPGs at the time. In fact the one that I can remember better was somewhat like this only with several different factions instead of just one. A suggestion at Ghidora. Games like this are built more around player conflict than mutual cooperation from the entire playerbase. Having an overarching threat via NPCs can work, but most of your activity is going to come from players trying to one-up each other. Quote "I serve the weak. I serve the helpless. I am their sword and their shield. If you want to strike at them, you must go through me, and I am not so easily moved." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Makuta Miras Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 Outside are dangerous Rahi to watch out for, but you'll have to venture out in order to get resources. You can choose several classes of skill, like smith, stonecutter, carpenter, miner, hunter, or builder, each equipped with set items and a little extra.Is it just me, or does this particular bit sound sort of like Knightfall? Other than that, though, I do like this concept, so thumbs up from me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghidora131 Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 I never took inspiration from Knightfall. Although you're right, it kinda does. After enough has happened, the city would grow, and much more powerful enemies would appear. We're not talking "Kane-Ra with helmets", more along the lines of "possible Dark Hunter invasion". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FallenAtlas Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 Woo, so I typed up a very rough draft of my RPG in the making. Locations are still being edited, as is the intro paragraph. I want some healthy criticism of all types. I want you to tear this apart and make me cry. That is the goal. I do have a story already plotted out with a hefty twist and some (I think) cool reveals. I will answer all questions(excluding those that ruin the game.) and if I don't know, I will tell you as such. Please read, comment, and don't hold back on the punches. FALLEN CITY Intro: Welcome to a Fallen City, Metru-Nui. If you can survive the skirmishes of the day and the roaming Rahi of the night, you'll be a very valuable addition to any side of the war. The war started from a trade dispute, and quickly turned into a bloodbath. The Coliseum, along with the useless Turaga hiding away in it, burned down, leaving the Matoran to lead themselves. Power is sporadic throughout the city, making the Chute system mainly useless. Large parts of the city have been walled up, and being caught alone at night is good way to get killed. You, Matoran, are being given a choice: Fight for your faction and victory, fight for peace, or die a coward. What will you do? Factions: The city has been split into three factions: Earthen Fire: The union of Ta-Metru and Onu-Metru, dedicated to taking control of the city. Later in the war, Ga-Metru joined, primarily from a logistical/supplies standpoint, but now has taken up arms with a fierce Navy. The Earthen Fire Faction has shown disdain toward neutral players in the war, but is more focused on defeating their enemy. Heavy Wind: Po-Metru and Le-Metru, with the later addition of Ko-Metru, has formed a considerable force. Po-Metru's ground forces are supported by airships from Le-Metru. Ko-Metru has kept soldiers out of the war for the moment, and are supposedly working on some secret weapon. Heavy Wind has been violent to neutral players, and certainly the fiercer side of the war. Neutrals: Some Matoran have refused to answer the call to war by their Metru. This group is not united nor completely peaceful. This faction includes those that exploit the war, those that wish to record the war, and those that are waiting for help from the south. Locations: The Metrus: Ta-Metru: Once the center for masks and for basic tools in the city, it has since become a giant factory of weapons, armor, and Kanoka. Black smoke pours into the sky above Ta-Metru, making it difficult to see the suns. Jaller, the head of the Metru, rules with firm hand. The Metru's chief weapon is catapults loaded with cooled magma, mask shards, and explosive rounds. Po-Metru: The days of mining and carving pots and statues are far behind. These days, the Po-Matoran use the vast plains of the district to train, march, and spar with hammer, shield, and spear. Some days, the sounds of the Po-Matoran war cries can be heard across the city. Ahkmou rules this district and seems to enjoy the darkness of his home more and more as of late. The Metru's chief weapon is their sling-throwers, highly trained troops capable of hitting a target more than a few dozen bio away with lethal results. Onu-Metru: Rahi of all types used to come here to be caged. Now, they are released unto Onu-Metru's enemies. In-between bombing streets under enemy districts and pulling Rahi up from the lower levels, Onu-Matoran train Rahi as mounts and warriors. The Metru is ruled by Marvah, who is delighted to see Rahi being used for their natural purposes. The Metru's chief weapon is Rahi Mounts, ranging from Kane-Ra to Energy Hounds, all of which can easily handle a few Matoran fighters. Le-Metru: Land of speed and flight, it has turned into a land of bomber airships and experimental rocket technology. The sky is thick with airships waiting their orders, some carrying large loads, others loaded with paratrooper Matoran. Kongu, the Metru's giggling ruler, has grown fond of his fleet of airships. The Metru's chief weapon is Airships, armed with crude explosives or paratroopers. Ga-Metru: Once the most peaceful of districts, it has quickly shown resolve for applying learned military strategies to the battlefield and to their naval forces. Schools have turned into military academies and the Great Temple has become the Head-Quarters for the Earthen Fire. Headed by Hahli, she is looking to expand the control of the sea to the entire city. Ships have been placed at all exits to the South, to prevent anybody from fleeing. The Metru's chief weapon is their Warships: small, nimble, and loaded to bear with Kanoka, they can easily choke a Metru's supply lines. Ko-Metru: Not much has changed in the Towers of Ko-Metru, but if one were to look outside, much has changed. Heavy security of Po-Matoran lines the streets towards the center of the district, and getting in is near impossible. No Ko-Matoran have been spotted in combat so far, causing rumors of a “superweapon” being developed in the Knowledge Towers. It is unknown who rules the district or what weapons they currently have. Quote Short Stories: A Chance Meeting | The Destiny of Teridax | End of An Island | A Conversation | Hurt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silvan Haven Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 Nice to see somebody accepting criticism with such open arms. Since you asked I'll do my best to answer. . The Coliseum, along with the useless Turaga hiding away in it, burned down, leaving the Matoran to lead themselves. For starters, the Coliseum lacks anything in it that could burn down. It's a giant building made out of metal and concrete. Factions: Hardly bad. However it seems pretty bare bones. We get information about the different groups but not much, I would suggest expanding on that some. Maybe come up with some stuff about the leaders or notable people of each faction. Locations: I see this is where you put most of the information about the different factions. I would suggest putting most of that in the Factions section with Locations focusing more on what the actual physical areas are like. Overall Thoughts: The first thing to pop out at me was the fact that the RPG is really short. There is barely anything there right now even if the stuff that is there is solid enough. At the bare minimum you still need a rules section and a character format for players to use. Something I noticed was the almost primitive level of technology. Metru Nui has post-modern levels of technology, something that can be seen in the chute system and their robotic police force. I know that this would be taking place tens of thousands of years before the events of Bionicle canon but the level of technology has always been really high. Certainly higher than slings and crude explosives. Quote "I serve the weak. I serve the helpless. I am their sword and their shield. If you want to strike at them, you must go through me, and I am not so easily moved." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FallenAtlas Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 For starters, the Coliseum lacks anything in it that could burn down. It's a giant building made out of metal and concrete. I do admit I did not know that. Factions: Hardly bad. However it seems pretty bare bones. We get information about the different groups but not much, I would suggest expanding on that some. Maybe come up with some stuff about the leaders or notable people of each faction. Names of the factions are place holders, I want to add... It's still a WIP, and I like your idea. I am going to expand those as much as I can without inducing a information overload. Locations: I see this is where you put most of the information about the different factions. I would suggest putting most of that in the Factions section with Locations focusing more on what the actual physical areas are like. I see what you mean. I did move away from physical descriptions to talking about the factions dwelling within. I imagine that'll be one of my harder areas to cover. Overall Thoughts: The first thing to pop out at me was the fact that the RPG is really short. There is barely anything there right now even if the stuff that is there is solid enough. At the bare minimum you still need a rules section and a character format for players to use. I purposefully left out 50% of the RPG, as the bit I did posted was what I wanted to discuss. Rules, profiles, and those minor things will come in time. The intro paragraph deserves an expansion as well, I feel, to better situate the player in the game. Something I noticed was the almost primitive level of technology. Metru Nui has post-modern levels of technology, something that can be seen in the chute system and their robotic police force. I know that this would be taking place tens of thousands of years before the events of Bionicle canon but the level of technology has always been really high. Certainly higher than slings and crude explosives. I guess I'm still stuck on Mata Nui. I'll be updating as needed. On the Vahki, they are left out. I haven't found anything to state they existed during the war, and they sound like real buzzkills. Thank you! Quote Short Stories: A Chance Meeting | The Destiny of Teridax | End of An Island | A Conversation | Hurt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rahkshi Lalonde Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 (if it is of anyone's interest, i finished the Mutation list, but have hit another minor pit(heh)fall in that i don't really have a smooth way to join additional mutations with species mutations as a solid "everything this character has" sorta deal. :t) (more work, i guess.) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghidora131 Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 Silvian, you're right. Should I have individual player factions ruled by different GMs? It would give people a chance to ruin each others city productions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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