Kiron, Toa of Fire

[They]

Kiron is a toa of flame from the BZPRPG. He carries several bottles of juice flavored water and a scimitar. I promised to sketch this character a few months back for Norik and I was finally able to pull through today. Comments and Critique most welcome!

 

(Click image for full resolution.)

 

 

[Onaku]

Might want to consider refining the lines, it looks very sketchy like this. Otherwise, nicely drawn, Kughii.

Edited May 16, 2014 by Toa Onaku

[Mr. Cod]

The arms seem a bit thin, but you did an excellent job on the torso!

[NorikSigma]

The arms are a little thin, but that's probably just perspective. Thanks Kughii!

[- JL -]

The abdominal's lines......

 

make him look a bit fat imo

 

Otherwise, good job. Arms look at bit 'skinny' but the visor looks really cool. Too bad we couldn't see more of the weapon.

[Pomegranate]

I really like the gestures, you really go with the flow of the lines and it gives the piece a lot of life. Like has been mentioned before, cleaning up those lines and going over it with a fresh lineart layer would clear things up and make them them bolder and sharper, but personally I'm a fan of messy sketchy drawings, I just like the look. The head and torso are wonderful, but the arms and legs look too thin and are really weirdly angled; it's hard to tell if they're too short, or if it's just poorly done foreshortening. The perspective definitely needs work to get that to be clearer. Keep in mind that for humanoids, when their arms are at their sides their elbows tend to line up with where their bellybuttons would be, and their hands end midway down the thigh. It's a very convenient reference for getting the proportions right.

If you were going for the foreshortening thing and the limbs aren't just short, whatever is "closer" to us should be made larger, like the hand and the knee-- feel free to exaggerate it a little, at least you'll convey it better and it makes for some more dynamic poses. At the moment, I can't really tell what's going on due to how thin the arms are-- is the arm outstretched, or is it bent with the elbow sticking out towards the viewer? Shading accordingly would really help us understand. I think that's the most distracting thing about the work. Stretch those arms and legs out! Maybe beef em up a little! Especially the front leg and the back arm.

Another thing is the pose itself, 'cause it looks like Kiron is in the middle of falling over, with all his weight going to one side and his feet way too far away in the opposite direction to possibly balance and his back bent that far back, although it also looks as if he's using his momentum of falling to the side in order to swing that blade and his leg looks like it's in the proper position to shoot out to the side to provide some support to his weight, like a baseball pitcher's stance windup stance, or a swordfighter lunging. Just bringing your attention to the fact that his center of balance is waaaaaayy off in case that wasn't your intention. It does give him a lot of weight, like I said, which is also great 'cause there's a definitely a sense of motion. A pose that shows the process of an action rather than the before or after is always best, it has more movement and is a lot more interesting to look at

I like the design of the character a lot, especially that snazzy visor on the Huna and the orange accents on the armor. There's a few little things that bug me, though, which I just wanna go over real quick. I recommend bulking up the chest a bit because it looks almost concave, with the abdomen jutting out more which just doesn't look right, especially with that gorgeous curve from the shoulder to the booty implying an arch of the back, which would make his chest look way too odd if he were to stand up straight. His hand has sever fingers And The scimitar's guard should be wider and a bit rounder, its purpose is to protect the hand that wields it. The pose would look like a more fluid motion if the back arm was angled a bit further out behind him, it looks like its pointed out in front of him at the moment and if it would look more like his body was sweeping towards his opponent in this attack if his arms was sorta trailing behind him more, ya know? And the sheath for the blade looks like its hanging a bit too low, but I'm no expert on that.

I know this is just a sketch and I really hope I didn't sound too critical or anything, there was just a lot I observed and wanted to advise on. Oh! And I really think it would work wonders for it if you quickly went in with a lighter color and added a few highlights here and there to contrast the darker shading. It would really make this piece pop and give it more dimension! ^^

I do really like it overall and it's pretty solid even with the small limbs, I'd enjoy seeing an updated version Really great work!

[25K Now!]

Yeah the arms don't really fit the body that much.

 

It's like attaching sticks to a rock.

 

Still, it's a pretty good sketch. Digging the mask.

[They]

Wow, thanks everyone! Also, Pomegranate, want to just hit up each art piece I've got on this site and comment? Loving the detail.

 

So, taking things into consideration, something a little more like... This?

(click image for full resolution.)

 

~Kughii

[NorikSigma]

Woah! That's a lot different. The linework is completely clean now.

[25K Now!]

Much clearer now, and the bodily proportions are more accurate.

 

Great job Kughz.