Teenage LEGO Ninja People

[Zatth]

A HOSPITAL IN NEW HAVEN, CT. MONDAY, 22ND OF SEPTEMBER.

 

Pablo: Zoinks! LEGO is making another announcement about BIONICLE's return on Friday! This day couldn't possibly get better!

 

SUDDENLY, A WHOOSHING AND WHIRRING NOISE ALL TOO FAMILIAR TO PABLO AND MILLIONS OF ANGLOPHONES WORLDWIDE RESOUNDS ACROSS HIS ROOM, FOLLOWED BY A SLOWLY MATERIALIZING BLUE POLICE BOX.

 

Pablo: OH MY G-O-S-H! This is what I've been waiting for ALL MY LIFE!

 

AS A TALL, OLD, AND LANKY SCOTTISH MAN COMES OUT OF THE BOX, HE BEGINS TO ADDRESS PABLO. BUT AS PABLO SITS UP, EXCITED TO TAKE PART IN AN ADVENTURE IN SPACE AND TIME, THE DOCTOR IS PUNCHED BY A RED FIGURE IN NINJA CLOTHING.

 

Pablo: What in the world-

 

Kai: NINJA-GO!

 

THE POLICE BOX FLIES OUT OF THE ROOM BY THE RED TORNADO, AND DISAPPEARS IN THE SKY, A LA TEAM ROCKET.

 

Pablo: What are you doing?! This was gonna change my life!

 

Kai: No. THIS is gonna change your life!

 

TITLE SCREEN

TEENAGE LEGO NINJA PEOPLE

PABLO LOOKS AT THE RANDOM TEXT FLOATING ABOVE HIM. ABOUT TO ASK WHAT IT IS, KAI RUNS UP TO HIM.

 

Kai: No time, Zatth! We have to go!

 

Pablo: But... where?

 

KAI SCREAMS OUT INTO THE AIR.

 

Kai: TO SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!

 

KAI BEGINS TO BUILD A CRUDE SPACESHIP OUT OF THE HOSPITAL ROOM, PUNCHING BENNY IN THE PROCESS.

 

Pablo: That... doesn't look too sturdy.

 

Kai: Well, that's what Nic Cage probably said when he saw the script and plot line for National Treasure. And look what happened.

 

Pablo: ... You've got a point.

 

Kai: SO LET'S GO!

 

AS THE FLIMSY SPACESHIP TAKES OFF, A PIECE OF IT HITS BENNY WHO HAD TRIED UNSUCCESSFULLY TO INTERJECT AND SCREAM HIS CATCHPHRASE. FLYING THROUGH THE AIR (AND LACK OF IT), THE KATAMARI DAMACY THEME SONGS PLAYS FOR A VERY ODD REASON.

 

Pablo: Hey Kai, how do you organize a party in space?

 

Kai: How?

 

Pablo: You planet.

 

A GIANT SPECTRAL HAND KNOWN AS THE JUSTICE OF XAERAZ SLAPS THE SHIP. AS KAI AND PABLO HURTLE OFF COURSE, PABLO TRIES TO KEEP ATTITUDES UP.

 

Pablo: I had no clue Xaeraz had a hand in this!

 

Kai: Stop it or you'll get us in more trouble!

 

BEFORE PABLO CAN MAKE ANOTHER TERRIBLE PUN, THE SHIP LANDS ON A VERY SMALL ASTEROID.

 

Pablo: What is this? Why is there a giant tree on the horizon? And some kind of weird lamp lit up?

 

Kai: It's asteroid B-612.

 

Pablo: What's that ev-

 

Kai: LITERATURE REFERENCE.

 

PABLO LOOKS BEFUDDLED.

 

Pablo: Riiiiight. So... what did you bring me here for?

 

Kai: For THIS!

 

IN FRONT OF PABLO, THE SCENE CHANGES TO SIX OTHER NINJAS, DRESSED IN RED, BLUE, BROWN, GREEN, WHITE, AND BLACK, FIGHTING AGAINST AN GIGANTIC ROBOTIC ENEMY.

 

Pablo: What in Mata Nui's name is THAT?!

 

Kai: It's a Transformer that has arrived during our space expedition and wants to sabotage it!

 

Pablo: A Transformer? I don't recognize it from any of the Michael Bay movies...

 

KAI LOOKS WITH SHAME AT PABLO.

 

Kai: That's because it's not surrounded by many unnecessary explosions. Also, I just lost all respect for you.

 

PABLO IGNORES THE JAB.

 

Pablo: What is the Transformer called?

 

KAI LOOKS WITH FEAR IN HIS BLACK CIRCLE MINIFIG EYES. COME TO THINK OF IT, THE EYES DON'T REALLY EXPRESS MANY EMOTIONS. UNLESS YOU TURN THE HEAD AROUND. THEN I GUESS IT COULD HYPOTHETICALLY SHOWCASE MORE EMOTIONS, BUT IT'D JUST BE LIMITED TO TWO. I MEAN, YOU'D THINK THE LEGO GROUP WOULD DO SOMETHING ABO-

 

Pablo, Kai, Cole, Zane, Lloyd, Nya, Jay, Dareth: GET BACK ON TRACK, NARRATOR!

 

RIGHT. SORRY. ANYWHO, BACK TO EXPOSITION.

 

Kai: The Transformer you see is feared among many groups of people, no matter where they are, where they reside, or who they consist of. It is known as... HYPE TRAIN!

 

THE NAME SENDS FEAR DOWN PABLO'S SPINE. THOUGH MAYBE THAT WAS HIS OPEN HOSPITAL GOWN. HE SOULD'VE WORN SOMETHING BETTER FOR THIS.

 

Pablo: There MUST be some way of stopping it...

 

BZP FORUMS: THERE'S NO STOPPING THE HYPE TRAIN!

 

​Pablo: Shush, you! This is a fictional story, this is just a villain, and in no way is a reflection of reality. In fact...

 

A FLASHBACK-TYPE SEQUENCE BEGINS, AS PABLO REMEMBERS IMPORTANT DETAILS.

 

Benny getting hit by the piece of the ship... Kai yelling the word SPAAAAAAAAACE... Jonathan Coulton...

 

BACK TO THE PRESENT.

 

Pablo: I know what to do!

 

PABLO RUNS UP TO HYPE TRAIN.

 

Pablo: Hey, ugly!

 

HYPE TRAIN LOOKS DOWN AT PABLO... AS IF HE'S NEVER HEARD THAT INSULT BEFORE.

 

​Pablo. I imagine that traveling all the way out here must've been... OUT OF THIS WORLD!

 

THE JUSTICE OF XAERAZ APPEARS AND SLAPS HYPE TRAIN. HYPE TRAIN IS CONFUSED!

 

Pablo: It's working! 

 

PABLO PULLS OUT A VINYL RECORD.

 

Pablo: I also gotta admit, it was fun coming here to space. THE VINYL FRONTIER!

 

ANOTHER SLAP!

 

Pablo: And to finish this off... You should've bewared of this planet!

 

ASTEROID, REALLY.

 

Pablo: Because all these ninjas came here... ON SPACESHIPS IN SPAAAAAAAAAAACE!

 

AS BENNY AND THE SPACE CORE RUSH IN TO UTTER THEIR CATCHPHRASES, PABLO GRABS THE TWO AND THROWS THEM AT HYPE TRAIN.

 

Pablo: TRANSFORM THIS!

 

Zane: That was a terrible action line-

 

HYPE TRAIN IS HIT BY BENNY AND SPACE CORE, AND ALL OF THAT AWESOMENESS DECIMATES HYPE TRAIN. IT'S SUPER EFFECTIVE!

 

Kai: You did it, Zatth! You beat the enemy!

 

AND THERE WAS MUCH REJOICING.

 

Pablo: Yes, but you didn't really clear much up. First off, why was this thing called Teenage LEGO Ninja People, if it had nothing to do with TMNT? Why was I in a hospital in New Haven dressed in a hospital gown? Why were you all on a space expedition. In fact, how does this have anything to do with Ninjas In Spa-

 

I jerk up from my seat on the train traveling towards Washington, D.C. It seems like the adventure I dreamed about was too fantastical to be true, but I've learned better. I type away, hoping to still have time to enter it into the BZP contest. Sipping on my Ginger Ale, I stare at the TV screen wondering how I'm supposed to end the comedy. I wish it was as easy as the 'Thriller' music video, and I could just turn around and in reality be a minifig, or Hype Train. No, that plot twist is too silly. Maybe I can say that Hype Train was my father? Nah, that's Star Wars' thing. Or maybe it's from The Simpsons. They've done everything by this point.

 

Finally, I decide to take the easy route, and go with how The Sopranos would go about this, by ending the comedy mid se-

 

 

 

[Pohatu: Uniter of Stone]

These puns are about as cheesy as my English teacher's puns. They say puns are to lowest form of humor, but I disagree.

[Toa Smoke Monster]

First, I want to say thank you for not letting me be the only person to submit an entry into the Library section of this contest.

 

As for the story, I thought it was really funny. Especially the Transformers joke. I also thought it was neat that you not only turned the Hype Train into a Transformer, but you also made the antagonist for your story. I would suspect that it is a Decepticon, right?

 

Good luck in the contest!