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Ask Vezon! (And Friends)


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ASK VEZON! and friends... Episode one: No questions.In a distant land, far away, sits a planet, Spherus Magna, on this planet live the inhabitants of the Bionicle universe, one of them is walking through a city, making his way towards a building. The Being wears a cloak, his armor shines with light, and his footsteps echo throughout the street, regardless of the noise. This person enters the building, and is greeted by a receptionist, as the Being nods, he enters an elevator, and pushes one button. The elevator goes up, and then opens to reveal a stage, one closed by large red curtains, as the Being walks out, the elevator doors behind him shut, and the Being speaks with a few other people. After their conversation, the being sighs, adjusts his cloak, and then steps out onto the stage, and is once again greeted, but this time by a crowd...Later...A small Blue Matoran helps her boss back behind the curtain, her name is Dalu, and she pulls him into a seat, and starts to speak to him, "what did you do this time? Throw a tomato back at them?" She asks, the Being looks up, and sighs, looking at his assistant, "no, I tried to calm them down, but they only got angrier, and threw more things at me, I think someone pitched a gold watch at me." The being known as Vezon holds up a small golden watch, which Dalu snatches from him. "We need to work on your personality; you can't be insulting the audience when they don't applaud!" Dalu shouted, even though she was only Vezon's assistant, she could still yell at him, and she seemed to be more like his caretaker.Vezon shook his head, "I can't help it, and you know that's not the only thing I do wrong, maybe it's my humor that throws them off. Oh well, I said that I would be back on after the commercial, maybe you and Fenrak can help me out a bit, I can't answer to questions and do the interviews all by myself!" Vezon said, looking around at the set, he was surprised that he could pay for all of this, but he didn't really care as long as it was there. Vezon stood, and walked into a room, Dalu behind him.A Large chair and mirror sat at the end of the basket-ball court sized room, the chair sprouted four legs, and something massive got out of it. The large monstrosity slowly walked toward them, and half of its face came into the light of the room. "What do you seek?" A deep voice said, obviously from the beast in front of them.Vezon stepped up, "I seek... Dessert," Vezon said, and Fenrak shook his head, "I can eat you, right now, and then continue on the show without you." Fenrak came out into the light, making Vezon and Dalu back up. "No, you can't do that, we have a contract that says you can't eat me, or any of the crew. And a few other things, like eating anything here excluding food, or eating the outside of the building." Vezon held up a piece of paper, filled with words. Fenrak growled, "Why I signed that, I will never know, but a little piece of paper can't stop me from eating everyone and everything here." Vezon slipped out of the room, along with Dalu, Fenrak was pretty intimidating.Dalu grabbed the paper from Vezon, "everything on here is eating related, it's like he is food depraved or something, when was the last time you fed him?" she asked, looking up from the paper, Vezon thought back, but was stopped when Dalu spoke again, "obviously it's been a while," she said, handing him the paper back. "Actually, I was only trying to remember, it could have been yesterday, or three hours ago." Vezon stuffed the paper back in between his armor, and Dalu scowled at him, "okay, maybe it was more than a few days ago... but he hasn't killed anyone yet!" Dalu just shook her head, and the two continued on through the building, probably searching for another co-host.CUT! We got 698 words here people, good job!--So this is returning from the grave. I'll get chapters up every day until I can start writing them again. Also, send in questions, ye landlubbers, they're the beating heart of the comedy! :D-Skar

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ASK VEZON!(and friends...)Episode two: Reel 'em in guys!Footsteps… two people walk down a carpet laid hallway, their feet sounding their presence. One of them opens a door on the right side of the hallway, and the two enter the room.Gresh looks up from his desk to see Vezon and Dalu enter his office, “ah! My predecessors! Welcome to my office, please, sit down in the two convenient chairs placed in front of my desk,” Gresh said with a smile, which shouldn’t have been possible because of his mouth guard.Vezon and Dalu sit, and Vezon starts the conversation, “hi Gresh, we’re kind of in trouble, you see, the audience hates me, and I need two other people to do the show with me. We were wondering if you could help us out.” Vezon waited for the Green Glatorian’s answer. Gresh seemed to be holding something in, like a burst of excitement or anger. “YES! I WANT TO BE PROMOTED! I’ve waited for this kind of opportunity for YEARS!” Gresh screamed in happiness, and after a few minutes Dalu had to restrain Gresh from killing her boss in a bear-hug.After they calmed him down, he regained his senses, “phew, I guess I got over excited there, sorry. But, I’ve wanted this kind of thing to come along since I was doing garbage work here.” Vezon looked over at Dalu, who was sweating from having to pull Gresh from Vezon, “alright, now that your dream is fulfilled, we can start working together. I’ve got to get back to the show in about two minutes, and we only had five to find you, so how about we go?” Vezon asked, but apparently Gresh was already walking out of the doorway towards the set, which forced Vezon and Dalu to follow him before he killed someone out of happiness. As the crew opened the curtains up for the three to walk out, Gresh dove through, landing with a thud, Vezon and Dalu stepped over him as he looked up to see the large crowd before him. “Hello audience!” he shouted, waving at them while still on the ground, there were a few mumbles from the crowd, with one fangirl screaming; “I LOVE YOU GRESH!!” while being escorted out of the building.Vezon and Dalu took their seats, with Gresh jumping into his happily. Vezon turned to the crowd, “well, it looks like we have our first question of the day! Let’s read it,”

Hi Vezon, how did you feel about Vezok, your other half, being merged into another being, effectively ending his life?

Vezon shifted in his chair, and seemed to be sweating a bit, “well, I, uh, um, didn’t know. Vezok is dead?” Vezon stood up from his chair, and backed out of the stage, after the curtains shut and no one could see him, the audience and everyone there could hear screams, crying, more screams, and then some loud sobbing.After a few minutes, Vezon walked back out onto the stage, and sat back down, breathing with his mouth hanging slightly open. “Well, I suppose I feel kind of sad about it, next question!”Dalu opened it on her handheld computer, “the question asks, ‘what type of toothpaste do you use?’” Dalu looked up, and Vezon grinned, looking at the nearest camera, “I use 90% Fluoride, and 10% water, all in one tube. It keeps the plaque away!” While the audience sat, stunned that he was still alive, Vezon grinned until he had to ask through his teeth, “what are they doing?”Dalu whispered back, “I think they’re sitting there, with their mouths wide open. Vezon, do you really do that to your teeth?” she asked, feeling a little bit concerned. Vezon nodded slowly, “I heard it keeps plaque away.” Dalu shook her head, “it will keep plaque and diseases away, but I’m amazed you still have teeth.”Vezon shrugged, “Let’s just get on with the next question.” Dalu nodded, and opened the next question on her awesome handheld computer.

How is life without Fenrakk?

Dalu raised an eyebrow at the comment, and then looked up at Vezon. “Uh,” the Skakdi replied, “he’s alive and well, you see, um, does anyone remember when we were both frozen? Yeah, well, he kinda tipped over into the lava again, freeing himself, and then changing back, from Kardas to Fenrakk… if you meant how is life WITH Fenrakk, it’s a living K-“ Vezon was cut off by a mysterious beep, and the Skakdi looked around confusedly.“What was that?” he asked, he looked at Gresh, who was also getting bleeped out by the noise, apparently when you said one word, it would be cut off by a beep. Dalu answered his question, “it’s called the bleep, and it makes sure bad language stays low on this show, because people can’t watch their mouths anymore.” Vezon nodded, and looked at the audience, some were stunned, others angry, and a few just seemed to be cardboard cutouts.Vezon opened his mouth, and it was immediately filled with an apple from the audience, “SHUT IT VEZON!” one Toa, who wore the mask of accuracy, said. Vezon spit out the apple, and then smiled, “well, that’s all the time we have, see you tomorrow folks!” As the three of them stood up, they were all booed off the stage until security guards had to stop the audience from getting to Vezon and the other two.Vezon looked down at Dalu, “why does anyone come here if they hate me so much?” he asked, seriously confused. Dalu shook her head, “they come here to make fun of you, and they want you to feel bad about yourself.” Vezon sighed, “Well, I get paid to do this show, so I’ll continue it until every member of the audience has had enough!”ANNNNDDDD, CUT! Great job! This time we pulled in 966 words! Everyone take a break!No response. D':And to all those out there who think so; no, I didn't copy this off of the other Ask Vezon, heck, at the time, I didn't even know it existed. I just wanted an ask comedy of my own, and Vezon came to mind.-Skar
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Nice to see the return of Ask Vezon! Been lookin' for some good stuff from you, Kpik-er, I mean Skar.Frickin Lion King villian... jkAnyways, I like the questions. And I know you didn't copy it-I wonder how many Ask comedies have the exact same name. Yours has a good original feel to if though-and I can't wait to see how it works with the GCC.Oh and on the GCC I'll tell you as soon as you're needed.

"The moral of the story is, I chose a half measure when I should have gone all the way. I'll never make that mistake again. No more half measures Walter."

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lol, as I was reposting this, I was thinking the same thing, MT. :P Hrm... should've made those tears of joy... anyway, new chapter.ASK VEZON!(and friends...)Episode three: Just another day at the office The next day…Vezon and Gresh sat in a room, apparently Dalu was away from them, and so they finally had time to talk without her listening. “Gresh, what was up with you on the set yesterday? You barely said ANYTHING!” Vezon said, a bit angry that he hired someone who wouldn’t do his job.Gresh shrugged, “I was still excited, a lot, but no one ever asked me anything, and you and I didn’t start talking, heck, Dalu barely said anything, and you aren’t biting her head off!” Vezon shook his head and sighed, “She’s an assistant, not an interviewer, or co-host, that’s what you are, so step up and talk, or I’ll have to replace you with Kalmah.” Gresh’s eyes widened at this, “NO. NO. YOU WILL NOT DO THAT TO ME!” Gresh got up on the table in front of them, and nearly started choking Vezon until he was sent flying sideways to the floor by a blurry pink shape.Vezon got on the floor and began bowing to the blurry shape, “oh thank you, Pink shape! I would not have survived if not for you!” Vezon stayed in a worship position, but didn’t notice who the shape actually was. “Um, okay, I just didn’t want HIM to kill you,” said a familiar voice, as Vezon looked up, he could only see a reddish-white claw walking out the door as it shut.Vezon face palmed; he had just worshiped Pridak, his most hated being in the whole studio. Vezon stood up, and looked at Gresh, who stood up quickly and growled. “Are you still giving my position away!?” the Green Glatorian screamed, causing Vezon to take a quick step back, “I will if you keep it up!”After the two calmed down, they made their way to the set, where an angry looking Dalu rushed through, and as Vezon opened his mouth, she jammed a wad of paper in it. “Not, NOW!” she yelled in his face, walking away from the two. Gresh scratched his head, “I wonder what she’s mad about,” he wondered. Vezon took out the now wet ball of paper, and threw it towards a paper waste bin, missing by a foot. “Gresh, if there’s one thing you need to know about her, it’s that whenever Piruk comes around to annoy her, she’ll kill.”Gresh gulped, but he wondered why she hadn’t already killed Piruk if she hated him so much. While the two didn’t ponder that question, they made their way out onto the stage, where the audience sat, ready for the show.Gresh looked out at them all, “hey, why are you all staring?!” he asked them, but only a few yelled in response, “We’re supposed to watch you, that’s the point of a LIVE AUDIENCE!” Gresh scowled, and a “well bah humbug to you to” was heard as he sat down in his seat.A Matoran walked out, not Dalu, and informed the two that Dalu would not be coming this time around. “Well that stinks! Alright Gresh, you get to hold the HH computer, and read me the questions. But be careful!” Vezon said to him as he handed him the handheld computer.Gresh grinned, “Careful is my third name,” he said, but Vezon only made a confused face. “Oh well, Gresh, read the first question.” Gresh nodded, and read out the first question;

Hello Mr. Traitor,I wanted to ask you one thing: I tried your toothpaste idea, and all my teeth are gone! Why did you did you do this to me?-Thok

Vezon cocked his head in confusion, “wha? Oh, I forgot, I use mouthwash RIGHT after, and that apparently helps. Sorry Thok, but I guess you’re just gonna have to grow them back!” Vezon laughed, he knew Thok wasn’t in the audience, and there was no way he could be there.A being in the audience stood up, and yelled, “OH YEAH!? TAKE THIS, CHAIR, EAT HIM!” the person, who sounded very similar to Thok, yelled. Vezon’s chair grabbed him, and started to crush him by folding up. “OW, stupid collapsible chairs!” Vezon yelled. Gresh stood up, and sliced the chair’s legs off, the chair apparently felt the pain, because it let go of Vezon, and hopped away from him.After a new chair was given to Vezon, and Thok dragged out of the audience, the show resumed. “Alright, next question!” Gresh slowly nodded, and opened the question, reading it again;

Dear Vezon:How many flavors of ice cream have you tried during your life?

Vezon scratched his chin at this, he seemed to be stumped by the question, but after a while, he answered, “78, I believe, here’s a few; chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, Matoran’s mask, Matoran’s armor, Toa’s mask, Makuta mask, and something called Rocky Road.” He nodded, and someone threw an actual ice cream cone at his head, funnily enough, it stuck, and somebody yelled, “DUNCE, AHAHAHA!” this appeared to be the same Toa who wore the mask of accuracy before.“Someone arrest him!” Vezon shouted, but a few security guards stopped laughing, and shrugged, “you’re not our boss, that Toa who threw the ice cream at you is.” As the audience laughed, Vezon took off the ice cream and threw it in the audience, apparently it hit a Matoran in the eye and Vezon was to be sued by his parents.“NEXT!” Vezon shouted, and Gresh once again opened and read the question.

Dear Vezon:What's your favorite pastime?

Vezon was starting to wonder why all of the questions were directed at him. He thought the title might have some cause to it. “Well, there are a few, one is throwing rocks at cars that pass by on the road, another is throwing rocks at people walking down sidewalks, and one more is answering all of these ridiculous questions!” He smiled at the camera, which happened to be a Toa of Water who had a scoped mask, the next thing Vezon knew was that he would forever be afraid of water, and that nearly drowning wasn’t fun.Vezon smiled, that about summed up the Episode, and their time, “well folks, we’ll see you next time, on Ask Vezon! And friends.” Vezon smiled at the real camera as he and Gresh were once again booed off the stage, with all kinds of fruit and plants being flung at them.Annnd CUT! Great job men, we made it to 1,068 words this time, keep up the spelling guys.Remember; these are already written, and I'm just reposting them.-Skar
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ASK VEZON!(and friends...)Episode four: We ain’t got no plot, fooVezon rushed through the curtains, followed by Gresh, both of whom had many vegetable pieces stuck to them, some wedged into their armor, and others just sat still where they should have fallen off.Vezon gasped a breath of relief, and spoke to Gresh, “I love getting booed off the stage, most of the time, and I get to keep whatever they throw at me. One time I got a hundred bucks, but since then they’ve started bringing vegetables, so I make anything they throw at me into sculptures.” Vezon looked at one particular tomato, which sat perfectly still on his shoulder, Vezon exclaimed, “yes! I’ve needed one of these for a head on one of my sculptures!” As Vezon ran off to place the tomato on a sculpture, Gresh sat down on a box, and started picking the plants off of him.There was some yelling down the hall to his right, so he got up and peered around a corner to see one of the most horrific sights ever; Kiina, shoving a Toa into a janitor closet.Ever since Gresh and Kiina first met, she had been stalking him, trying to find him, Gresh had been running, and he supposed that the Toa she just locked up hadn’t told her where he was. “GRESH, I WILL FIND YOU!” she shouted, stomping off, and out of the building. Gresh sighed in relief, and fell to the floor in a sitting position. “I’m going to need 24/7 protection, if she finds me, Mata Nui knows what she’ll do.” Gresh slowly got up to walk to his office, he needed a break.***Dalu also stomped through the building; she had finally gotten a restraining order out on Piruk, and was making her way to Vezon’s office. Once she got there, and opened the door to get inside, she saw him standing on a chair, carefully placing a tomato on top of a strangely built action figure. “VEZON!” she screamed, the Skakdi jumped, and fell off the chair, hitting the floor hard.Luckily, his trophies hadn’t fallen off, and before they did, he closed up the glass doors, and locked them. “Yeah?” he asked, looking at the angry Matoran in his office. Dalu sighed, “I have something to tell you, I’ve just come back from the HQ,” Dalu was interrupted by a loud thunderclap, and someone laughing madly, “anyways, I just came back from… there… and they say they want you on the show for more than 30 minutes, they’ve extended it to two hole hours, and they get to cut it up into 30 minutes. They have this weird scheme of making the tickets cost more, while they don’t have to exceed the time they have on TV.”Dalu took a seat, that took a bit to explain, and Vezon sat down in another chair, and slowly nodded, “so, is this whole thing was a written comedy on a Bionicle fan-site, then that would mean four chapters in between our breaks, because they wouldn’t cut any of it out in a story, right?” Even though Vezon’s way of thinking was bent, and twisted, and overall wrong most of the time, he had a point with this.Dalu nodded, “yes, I suppose, and worse, they want us all on right now.” Vezon could only groan at this, but when she mentioned a raise, Vezon perked up and got ready to perform again. The two of them headed on down to the set once more.***Gresh was being called back onto the set, and he only groaned, just like Vezon, but once again, when a raise was mentioned, Gresh cleaned himself up, and headed on down to the set, ready to perform again.***When Vezon walked out onto the stage, Dalu followed, and slowly Gresh came out again, keeping an eye out for flying plants. Once they took their seats, and Dalu snatched up the handheld computer before Gresh could, they began the questions again.Dalu opened up the question, and read it to Gresh;

Mr. Green Guy whose name I can't remember,Is it true that you have a crush on Kiina?-Berix

Gresh’s green face reddened to a brown, and he spoke, “no, it’s the opposite, she has a crush on ME, in fact, she’s stalking me…” Gresh said, looking between the cameras and the audience.“Okay! Next question, Dalu,” Vezon said, looking at the blue Matoran, waiting for his question.

Hi, Vezon!I was wondering, do you live in a silicon world?

Vezon paused, “uh, as in plastic? No, we don’t live in a plastic world; we live in a metalloid world.” Vezon looked around at the crowd, they weren’t booing, and they weren’t clapping, they weren’t really doing anything. Vezon just cleared his throat and asked for the next question.When no question came, Vezon just sighed, “well, we’ve got and hour and a half left, so maybe we can get some more questions in before the end of the day.”Dalu pointed out that it was only 3 in the afternoon, and they couldn’t be there all afternoon, but Vezon just ignored her as he waited for a question.Annnnnnd CUT! Hm, we only pulled 867 words this time, let’s try to make up for that next time.So, new chapter, I guess. :PI gotta get these things up fast, and start writing the new chapter... but I don't have any questions to write a chapter with! D:-Skar Edited by Skarloth
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Vezon gasped a breath of relief, and spoke to Gresh, “I love getting booed off the stage,

Er...that's a new one on me.

Gresh’s green face reddened to a brown, and he spoke, “no, it’s the opposite, she has a crush on ME, in fact, she’s stalking me…” Gresh said, looking between the cameras and the audience.

'Atta way to deflect a question.

“uh, as in plastic?

Plastic's not silicon. Good try though, Vezon. :PI would recommend not worrying about getting these chapters up as quickly. Ask comedies are typically a bit slower than regular comedies. I will send some questions in, however, if you want them.-MT


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  • 3 weeks later...

That would be very good, thank you in advance MT.I might as well get the next chapter of this up. :PASK VEZON! (and friends...)Episode Five: Questions...The commercial ends and the camera shows Vezon, Dalu, and Gresh, all sitting in their chairs, waiting for the camera guy to count down to the muted one, the moment he does, they all turn their head toward the camera, and Vezon bids the audience welcome.Vezon: Welcome back!Audience: We never left!Vezon: … oh well, now we get on to the next three questions, Gresh, you read them to me.

What color should I buy my car in?-Velika

Gresh: Well, I personally-Vezon: SHH! He asked The Host. Velika, I never liked you, and I never will, but if I was going to buy a car, I’d have a custom paint job, and not one covered in the greatest riddles of all time, no, I’d have one with my face painted on every side, even in the mirrors.Audience: …Vezon: So go with that, you’ll end up saving money if you let the guy paint a mustache on my face; I actually look good with one in my opinion.Dalu: … why does everything you say make everyone stop and stare?Vezon: Stop what?Dalu: I don’t know, thinking?Vezon: So they stop thinking and stare at me, what about their mouths, that just hang open?Dalu: Sorry.Vezon: For what?Dalu: For asking.Vezon: …Dalu: …Vezon: Next question.

Hey Vezon, what's the coolest place you've visited with your new Olmakky powers?

Vezon: Well, that’s the thing, Brutaka went ahead and stole them from me; I haven’t had those powers in a few weeks now.Dalu: I never knew that.Gresh: You had Olmak powers?Vezon: And Brutaka stole them!Dalu: Maybe he took them back?Vezon: He was a ZOMBIE. He didn’t need them at all! I was doing just fine with my powers!Gresh: You probably would have died eventually.Vezon: I still loved my powers, now look at me! I’m just another wimp without any weapons or powers!Dalu: Maybe that’s the way it should be…Vezon: SAY THAT AGAIN!!Dalu: I don’t like repeating myself.Gresh: Are we getting off track?Vezon: NO, THIS IS THE BLOOD OF THE SHOW, WE LIVE TO ARGUE!Dalu: …Vezon: … OH WELL, next question!

Why should I ask you a question?-Avak

Vezon: Well, if you didn’t, we’d go out of busin- I MEAN, you wouldn’t get the three dollars for sending one in! *Chuckles nervously*Dalu: *Whispering* hey, isn’t the tax of a question three dollars? That would mean they would never get the money, because they already paid off their tax with it.Vezon: Quiet, before someone finds out The Truth.Gresh: … why did you capitalize ‘the truth’?Vezon: … What?Gresh: Oh, sorry, when someone is talking, I see it being written down on paper, it’s a habit.Dalu: Freak.Gresh: WHAT?!?Dalu: I said Greek! What? A person can’t randomly blab out words every now and then!?Gresh: Fine…Vezon: One more question, and then we’ll go to commercial.Dalu: *Sighs* this will never end.Vezon: Now HIT IT!

Yo Gresh,I was wondering how come you’re green and not a cool, awesome color like red?-Tahu

Gresh: Well… I was born in Tesara, I had no choice… I guess I did, but I decided to fight for my Tribe, not the Fire tribe…Vezon: Hmpf, I think Silver is AWESOME. You should have been silver, you too, Dalu.Dalu: …Gresh: I like green, silver just looks ugly, that’s more of a titan kind of thing.Vezon: Silver is NOT ugly, Green is hideous! It’s… it’s…Dalu: I knew you couldn’t make a counter-argument.Gresh: I’ve never seen a Green Titan.Vezon: What about Karzanhi?!?!? HE’S GREEN!Dalu: You’re just adding to HIS argument!Gresh: We should start interviewing people. LIKE NAO-ISH.Vezon: And how did you picture THOSE words?Gresh: I spelt NOW, as N-A-O. :DVezon: *Whispers* Noob.Dalu: …Vezon: I know! We can start interviewing people! Like GSes, and this thing will shoot up through the roof!Gresh: But I just-Vezon: SILENCE, SLAVE.Gresh: Hey! Don’t call me a-Vezon: I SAID, QUIET.Gresh: …Vezon: NOW THAT I AM ALL SUPREME, WITH GRESH AS MY SLAVE, I WILL INTERVIEW PEOPLE.Dalu: …Vezon: AND, MY MIME, DALU, WILL DO FUNNY THINGS TO MAKE US LAUGH.Dalu: Not. Funny.Vezon: SEE? SHE IS A FIT OF RAGE-TO-BE! SHE WILL-Dalu: *Sucker punches Vezon* I said, not, funny.Vezon: OW…Gresh: Can we go to commercial nao?ANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDCUT! C’mon, people, this is WAY to short! We only pulled in 764 words this time! I say we put in three additional questions to the comedy.-Skar
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Thank you. :DASK VEZON! (and friends...)Episode Six: We don’t really need chapter titles…The Audience is silent while the show returns from commercials, and they all ignore the large ‘APPLAUSE’ sign blinking red. It is strange how every seat is filled, but everyone there only wishes to throw things at Vezon.Vezon: Welcome back! We’re Live on the scene- oh wait, wrong introduction.Dalu: *Facepalms*Gresh: Let’s get on with the questions.Vezon: Alright, one of you, pick up the hand-held computer off the table, and ask me the question.Dalu: *Looks at Gresh*Gresh: *Looks at Dalu*Dalu: …Gresh: … *Mouths ‘My name is longer than yours’*Dalu: *Quickly reaches for the computer*Gresh: *Does the same*Vezon: A FIGHT! THUMB-WARS, LET’S GO, LET’S GO!Dalu: *Grabs Gresh’s hand* Gresh: *Grabs Dalu’s hand*Vezon: …Dalu: …Gresh: …Vezon: … *Snores*Dalu: VEZON!Vezon: WHA?! I’M READY, WHO’S HERE!?!?Gresh: …Vezon: Oh. Ready… Setty… GOATY!Gresh: *Starts moving his thumb to pin down Dalu’s*Dalu: *Sighs, and twists Gresh’s arm and him around into a neck hold, grabbing the hand-held computer for herself* HA, didn’t think of that, did you?Gresh: Lemme go!Dalu: After this question.

Hey Vezon! Do you prefer Billy Mays or Rick Andersen for your Oxy Clean ads? -Pie

Vezon: Personally, I like this new Rick guy, he doesn’t seem as asleep as Billy did, and he really gets the message across. HOLY COW, I MADE A LOGICS.Dalu: *Facepalms with Gresh’s hand*Gresh: Owowowowowowowowow!Dalu: *Lets him go* Ha, you were beaten by a girl! And not only a girl, and girl Matoran!Gresh: *Crosses arms* so what? I’ve been beaten by rocks before.Dalu: You can’t fight rocks, so that answer can’t be true!Gresh: And I thought you were the serious one.Dalu: … I lost it.Gresh: You think?Dalu: But not as much as you lost it when Kiina cornered you in your office.Gresh: *Cringes* I don’t know how I got out of that.Vezon: I’VE BEEN SILENT.Gresh: And I’ve been eating dots.Vezon: WELL HI, PACMAN!Gresh: …Dalu: The curser eats dots.Gresh: You mean that straight line that makes the letters on a computer?Dalu: … yeah.Vezon: Yeah, that thing does move around a lot.Dalu: Let’s stop talking about computers and get back to questions.Gresh: Agreed.Dalu: Here goes;

Oh, ok, well then here's my question: How come you haven't given me back that 10 dollars I lent you?-Avak

Vezon: *Stiffens* Um, uh, umm… I sent it to you by mail, yes; it should be there by now!!Gresh: …Dalu: Okaay. We’ll do the next question, and then interview, Vakama?Gresh: What? Since when did he want to be interviewed? He’s got his own mansion, he hates interviews.Vezon: Since when could you give orders, Dalu? [/Quietly]Dalu: Wait, there’s more, it says, VakamaMetruNui.Gresh: So the old man has finally snapped?Dalu: Maybe… why did he put Metru-Nui at the end of his name?Gresh: A sign that he has snapped.Dalu: Oh well, we can ask him when he gets here.Vezon: SLAVES, NEXT QUESTION!Dalu: We aren’t slaves, but I’ll read the question to you.


Vezon: …?Dalu: …?Gresh: Dot, dot, dot?Vezon: *Looks at Gresh*Gresh: Dot, dot, dot.Dalu: *Rolls eyes*Vezon: Well thank you, Kopeke, for sending in this question…Dalu: That was a total waste!Gresh: I agree.Vezon: Well, we gotta give him some credit for sitting there, composing this message, and then paying three dollars to send it in.Dalu: But it’s just DOTS!Vezon: And?Dalu: Don’t you think-you know, never mind. Who are we interviewing again?Vezon: Vakama.Gresh: We might not want to call him that, let’s just call him VMN, so he doesn’t get angry, and we don’t get confused.Vezon: Good point.Announcer: Matoran and Toa, and Skakdi and Vortixx, and-Vezon: Get on with it!Announcer: -Welcome VakamaMetruNui to the stage!Audience: *Roar in applause for VMN*Announcer: V-Vezon: *Glares* don’t you dare say another word.Announcer: …Vezon: Good! Now-Audience: *More roars of applause and very loud clapping and whistling*VMN: Hey everyone!Gresh: …Audience: *Settles down to let them speak*Vezon: Okay. VMN, we ask you three questions, or, just talk to you, which one would you like?VMN: Um… how about we just talk?Vezon: Great! How are the other Turaga?VMN: … what?Vezon: How are the other Turaga of Metru Nui?VMN: No, I think you got it wrong, I’m-Vezon: Yes, we know, you’re Vakama, you were a red Toa of fire who turned orange.VMN: No, I’m not-Vezon: Orange? Well, you look it.VMN: LET ME SPEAK!Vezon: …VMN: My name is VakamaMetruNui, but I’m not the Vakama you guys know.Vezon: So… why did you name yourself VakamaMetruNui?VMN: Actually… I have no idea.Vezon: Okay, now off the topic of your name, what’s the deal with the orange?VMN: Well, I was kinda shooting for a Vakama-style look, but I never meant to be an imposter.Gresh: What? Im Poster? Is that some kind of… thing?VMN: …Vezon: Okay…Dalu: Why did you make your mask EXACTLY like Vakama’s?VMN: Well… I don’t know… It’s just a Noble Huna, got a problem with that?Dalu: …VMN: Why are you so determined to look like Nokama?Dalu: …VMN: You seriously look like Nokama as a-Dalu: *Leaps at VMN*Gresh: Dalu! NO! *Leaps to restrain Dalu*Dalu: LET ME GO!VMN: *Looks at Vezon* what did I do?Vezon: You made her VERY angry, that is how Piruk annoys her, you know, that little green Matoran?VMN: *Nods* Should I be going now?Vezon: Nah, you can stick around until after the break, because that’ll be our last show until tomorrow.VMN: You guys are all confusing.Vezon: That we are.VMN: So… what now?Vezon: Just watch.Dalu: I GOTTA KILL HIM!!Gresh: NO, HE’S OUR FIRST GUESTSTAR! YOU CAN’T!Vezon: GUARDS!Guards: *Look at Vezon yes?Vezon: Restrain Dalu!Guards: *Stand still*Vezon: WELL? WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!Guards: We don’t answer to you, remember?Sanok Toa: YEAH! MY MEN DON’T LISTEN TO YOU!Vezon: *Sighs* well folks, we’ll take a commercial break, and when we return, our interview with VakamaMetruNui continues!CUUUUT!! Whoa! We got 1,072 words this time! Keep ‘em coming guys!And voila, a re-posted chapter.-Skar
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ASK VEZON! (and friends...)Episode Seven: What’s Hero Factory? The camera fades from black into the scene, where Vezon, Gresh, VakamaMetruNui, and Dalu, sit in their chairs. The Camera switches to the audience, who sit there, all of the rows, and seats are filled, some people are leaning on other people, asleep, and some are watching the show, while others sit in the back of the audience, whispering amongst themselves.Vezon: Welcome back! Or not, depending on how you enjoy our show...Gresh: Today, we are interviewing VakamaMetruNui, not Vakama himself, another Matoran.VMN: Hi.Vezon: Introductions take to long; let’s just get on with our conversation. BUT WAIT, WE HAVE QUESTIONS!Dalu: I’ll read the first one;

Where are you hiding, Gresh?-Love Kiina

Gresh: ME? HIDE? NO WAY, I’M NOT HIDING! HA HA, WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?Vezon: … Get some help.Gresh: I PLAN TO.Dalu: Notice how she put Love at the end of it? *Laughs*Gresh: Don’t make this worse than it already is.VMN: You should confront her, and if you don’t like her, then just tell her so, stalkers will give up after that.Gresh: How do you know that?VMN: I… uh… I’ve been stalked before…Vezon: OKAY! Next question…

What are your thoughts on Hero Factory?-Von Nebula

Vezon: HERO FACTORY!?!? WELL, IT’S A SAD ATTEMPT AT BIONICLE, THAT’S WHAT IT IS, AND NOBODY CAN IMITATE THE GREATEST TOY LINE OF ALL TIME!Dalu: Finished?Vezon: Yes!Gresh: Thank you muchly for shutting up.Vezon: WELL! LET’S SEE YOUR OPINION!!Gresh: Well, I think it’s trying its best to be better than Bionicle, but the generation for Bionicle has come and gone, and they want to keep their precious Bionicle, they don’t want a replacement. But watch, the teenagers of tomorrow will think of Hero Factory as their Bionicle, and they’ll be witnessing a new line of toys coming out of Lego, that is simple the way it is.VMN: One of the smartest things ever said.Gresh: Thank you.Vezon: Well, just… get on with the next question.

Am I fun to be around?-VMN

Vezon: *Looks over at VMN* uh… yeah, you’re okay. Did you just send this?VMN: Yep.Dalu: Did you use a smartphone?VMN: Android 2. :DGresh: :(, who can’t we have an awesome smartphone?Dalu: We should do a fourth question.Vezon: Go ahead.

Dear Vezon,Will you ever break the fourth wall?Love,Justin BieberP.S. I tricked you; you just broke the fourth wall! >:)

Vezon: Wait, love you? What’s the fourth wall? WHO THE HECK ARE YOU!?Dalu: Let’s just ignore the question, before it stirs up cosmic destruction.Vezon: I suppose…VMN: Hello, ME?Vezon: Oh, yeah. Do you have any questions?VMN: :oVezon: What?VMN: You want ME to ask YOU a question? Whose show is this?!Vezon: MINE, it has MY name on it!VMN: So ask ME the question, VEZON!Vezon: ALRIGHT! HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO AGUA MAGNA?!?VMN: NO!VEZON: DO YOU EVER WISH YOU COULD GO THERE SOME DAY!?VMN: YES, WELL, I ALWAYS ENJOYED WATER, SO IT’LL BE FUN!VEZON: ALRIGHT!VMN: OKAY!DALU: STOP. SCREAMING.Vezon: WH-I mean, why? It’s fun to yell at the guest star.Dalu: Not when the audience starts leaving!Audience: SNAP. SHE CAUGHT US.Vezon: Hey! You guys paid for until the end of this coming up commercial break! You sit back down, or we’ll give you your money back!Audience: … *Leaves*Vezon: GUARDS, PAY THOSE PEOPLE!!Dalu: *Facepalm*Gresh: But, I just named all those dollars, NOT JERRY AND SALLY!!!!!!!!! *Runs after Audience*Vezon: VMN, I think you brought this on us.VMN: … I’m leaving now. *Walks away*Vezon: COME ON! THAT WAS NOT AN OFFICAL ENDING!!Dalu: You know, sometimes, I could just choke you to death.Vezon: YOU TOO!*Camera goes static*ANNNNNNNNNNND CUT! Hmpf, only 653 words, we should really get more questions in here, or try to get some dialog out of those morons.Any questions?-Skar
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So... here's another chapter.ASK VEZON! (and friends...)Episode Eight: THIS IS UNEXPECTED: DUN DUN DUN! Excuse is for the break, but we are currently taking a break, (we need the actors alive), so we’re taking a break. We will be back in a moment.(In the Breakroom)Vezon: Gresh, how much do we get paid?Gresh: I know I get paid at LEAST 5000 cents a week!Vezon: Hmpf, you get 500 bucks, but I’m here stuck with 10000 cents. :(Gresh: … do you understand money?Vezon: Are you saying I don’t?!?Gresh: Yes…Vezon: Well… I know that two cents equal five dollars… three cents equal 20 dollars, and one Burk equals 700 cents… which equals…Gresh: SHUT UP! SHUTITSHUTITSHUTITSHUTITSHUTIT!!!!!!!!!!Vezon: …Dalu: *Walks in* PIRUK! GET AWAY FROM ME.Piruk: Dalu! Guess what?Dalu: I SAID-Piruk: YOU’RE BLUE!Dalu: LEAVE ME ALONE!Piruk: You are afraid of me…Dalu: NO! I JUST HATE YOU!Piruk: Then punch me down into the ground, right here.Dalu: *Moves to punch him, but stops mid-air*Vezon: Whoa, The Force does exist…Piruk: Ha! See? You can’t touch me.Gresh: What’s wrong Dalu? Deck him!Dalu: I can’t.Vezon: A SIGN OF WEAKNESS, or The Force...Piruk: You can’t touch me until I say you can.Gresh: Why is that?Piruk: Because I have a restraining order against her.Gresh: Then why are you anywhere near her?Dalu: Because it only goes out four feet!Gresh: Then disobey the law for this one moment and kill that guy!Dalu: No, it isn’t like that, it’s an actual court force field only against me!Gresh: :o, we can do that?Dalu: We’re really advanced.Piruk: Dang straight we are! Now, Dalu, guess what.Dalu: …Piruk: YOU’RE FAT!Dalu: *Growls, and leaped at him, clawing at him, but not touching him*Gresh: This is sad.Piruk: For her, I can follow her around and insult her without getting killed.*Vezon is in the background trying to force a cup away*Gresh: How long does the restraint go on?Dalu: Four months.Piruk: Yep, and in that time, I can go to prison, where I’ll be safe until I die.Dalu: You don’t know prison…Vezon: *Still trying to force the cup away* yeah, I broke into one two days ago, and got a drink of water… I think it was coffee, because a cop was chasing me out, screaming “COFFEE, COFFEE!”Piruk: *Eyes widen* I… think… I’ll go put my life in order. *Runs away*Gresh: So… you’re really going to kill him just for insulting him?Dalu: Yes, why not?Gresh: Well, you could get a restraining order on him, and then insult him.Dalu: That wouldn’t work, he’s a trampoline, and he absorbs insults… it’s almost like they fuel him or something…Gresh: Weird… so, guys, when are we getting back to the show?Dalu: *Stares at him*Vezon: *Tries to force Gresh away*Gresh: What?Dalu: You want to go back to work so soon?Vezon: Son, there are a few things I need to tell you a few things about life before I die…Gresh: What? Vezon, I’m older than you.Vezon: Oh really? Dad, I need to tell you a few things about life before I die…Gresh: *Facepalms*Vezon: So… you don’t really want to go back to work the hour we got off, do you?Gresh: What else is there to do?Dalu: Well, I have this thing called a life, so…Gresh: So do I, but it mainly involves running from Kiina, and eating when I can… sadly, sleeping is not an option, because she could find me in that time… JUST THINK! A whole seven hours she has to find me! She could be anywhere…Vezon: I live in the studio and play Xbox.Gresh: You’re lucky nobody likes you; no one wants to stalk you.Vezon: Actually, I’ve been stalked by Hahli for some reason… mainly on Maskbook, but I’ve avoided her.Dalu: It seems we all have stalkers…Gresh: So? That won’t make them go away!Dalu: But, if we could get a hold of them, we could pull the biggest pranks or things on them.Vezon: Like blowing them up!Dalu: No, Vezon, then they would die.Vezon: *Thumbs up* even more reason to do it!Dalu: Maybe we shouldn’t let Vezon get hold of Hahli.Vezon: I’d probably feed her, and walk her, and pet her, and take care of her- oh, wait, Hahli.Gresh: … something’s wrong with you, really.Dalu: Well, I was just suggesting it; maybe we don’t have to do it.Gresh: It’s a great idea, but it’ll need planning, lots of it, and great timing, which a few of us don’t have… *looks at Vezon*Vezon: I OWN A WATCH! I CAN KEEP TRACK OF TIME!Gresh: … not that kind of timing.Dalu: Well, let’s plan after the next show.Gresh: Agreed.Vezon: No, not agreed, AGREED!Dalu: …Gresh: …Vezon: What? WHAT?CUT! Hm, 859 words, oh well, nice job for writing all of this in just a half an hour.-Skar

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Didn't I mention that these are already written? I've had these lying around for months and months now, since before the downtime even.I am short on questions, and I do need them to continue this comedy past chapter twelve.ASK VEZON! (and friends...)Episode Nine: SPARTA!! Season two: DUN DUN DUN! Ugh, what’s the use? Let’s just skip a day or so, and have them back to interviewing and question answering.The scene slowly brightens, and three people are sitting in three chairs, Vezon, the crazy host, Dalu, the ‘calm’ question reader, and Gresh, the random talker.Gresh: Hey! I am not a random talker, how dare you, announcer guy?!Vezon: Welcome back to the show! Today, we answer FIVE WHOLE QUESTIONS! :biggrin:, and, oh, nope, no interviewees right now, sadly, we could have made so much fun of the-Dalu: VEZON!Vezon: Oh! Right, the show, the audience…Dalu: *Angry eyes*Gresh: What are you, Mrs. Thornax?*Dalu: *Glares him to the floor*Gresh: Back, back!Dalu: *Rolls eyes*Vezon: DALU.Dalu: What?Vezon: GIVE.Dalu: …Vezon: ME.Dalu: … uhhh…Vezon: A.Dalu: Can you get on with-Vezon: QUESTION.Dalu: I thought you were going to ask for chewing gum again.Vezon: Can I have some!?!Dalu: … no.Vezon: Darn.Dalu: Okay, here’s the question;

Dear Vezon,Will you ever break the fourth wall?Love,Justin BieberP.S. I tricked you, you just broke the fourth wall! > :)

Vezon: Justin Bieber? Never heard of you… and I know everyone here… um, what is the fourth wall?Dalu: The “Fourth Wall”, is an imaginary wall that was originally part of the Theater, it was the wall that separated the audience from the movie, when a character from the movie addresses the audience as if he or she is there with them the character is “Breaking the Fourth wall”.Vezon: Complicated….Dalu: *Grabs a glass of water* don’t ever make me tell you anything again.Vezon: Uh, can you tell me the next question?Dalu: …

To Vezon,Hey Vezon ask Teridax this question for me, Hey Teridax! How does it feel to be one of those cool dudes that end up being killed by the hero! And I hear that Icarax is still alive you moron!

Solek, now a Toa of Shadows no thanks to you Teridax

Vezon: Well, he’s kinda dead, I’d have to die to ask him, and then I couldn’t get back here to tell you, so we’re kinda stuck. :/Dalu: I think he just wants you to laugh at the question.Vezon: Oh, hahahahaha, ha ha ha ha haa. *Looks around nervously*Gresh: Next question.Vezon: MY LINE! Next question!Dalu: You forgot the magic word.Vezon: In-instantly?Dalu: What?Vezon: Never mine. Ask the next question if you will.Dalu: *Shrugs* better than nothing.

What's your favorite flavor of Pringles?--Nocturn

Vezon: I’d have to say barbeque, if is exists. PLEASE SAY IT EXISTS!!!!Dalu: I own some.Vezon: GIMME!Dalu: It’s at my house.Vezon: *Runs out of the studio*Dalu: … Gresh, I’ll read you the next question.Gresh: Okay.

Gadunka Gadunka Gadunka?-Gadunka

Gresh: Gresh Gresh Gresh.Dalu: How do you-? Never mind, I don’t want to know.Gresh: Next question!Dalu: Nobody says please anymore.Gresh: Uh… please?Dalu: And that’s the last time you’ll say it.

Hey, Vezon, who is your favorite character from Halo Reach?

Gresh: Uhh… uhh… Dalu, what do we do?Dalu: I don’t know! We can go to commercial and then wait for Vezon?Gresh: Nah, let’s just-Vezon: *Bursts through the wall* I HAVE BARBEQUE!!!!!!!!!! *Eats a can of Pringles madly* THAT’S THE STUFF!!!! *Sits back down* Dalu, next quest please.Dalu: *Re-reads the question*Vezon: I’d have to say Me, as in, my character, he’s so awesome, he makes Chuck Norris look-Chuck Norris: *Is suddenly by Vezon’s side* Say it, kid, say it.Vezon: He makes Chuck Norris look awesome!Chuck Norris: And that’s a fact. *Warps away*Vezon: *Scared out of his wits*Dalu: Uh, let’s just get the next question read…

Dear Vezon,Why is this comedy written in prose?-tent163phantoka

Vezon: Uh, sad to say it, but we gave up on Prose a while ago, but the Author is thinking about going back to it. :)Dalu: You did just break the Fourth wall….Vezon: What? *’Glass’ wall in between the audience and Vezon breaks* WHAT THE?!?Dalu: Let’s just ignore it.Vezon: Okay… next question?Dalu: Sorry, that’s the last one; I guess it’s time for a commercial break!Vezon: Yeah…Gresh: Before we go, I LIKE TRAINS.Dalu: *Facepalms*CUTCUTCUT! Alright 744 words, I do not like this. Next chapter, we gotta get back to prose.Hmpf. I like script, it's so easy to write. :P-Skar Edited by Skarloth
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ASK VEZON! (and friends...)Episode Ten: Yup… HOYEAH! Season two: DUN DUN DUN! And so Prose returns… WITNESS THE AWESOME POWER OF IT! ... Ahem, excuse me, I’m a little bit excited, but never mind me, right now, the group is working to answer more questions, and interview more people, so get ready for a mad adventure. Even though we don’t go anywhere… or… do much… but it is still an adventure of words! Vezon looked up to the camera, and sighed a very long sigh, and then again, and again, and he then took in a sharp breath, and then sighed that out. Dalu rolled her eyes, “Vezon, you can stop breathing now,” she said, looking over at Gresh, who was doing an imaginary drumming with imaginary drumsticks. Dalu wondered if she was the only sane one in the whole studio, while they were doing whatever they were doing, the commercials were rolling, and the audience was talking aloud to themselves. Finally, the camera men started counting, and told the audience to be quiet, of course, they didn’t listen, so the camera men started rolling anyway. Vezon turned toward the nearest camera, and then began speaking, “Hi! Welcome back to- wait, I just had an epiphany, what if toasters were made round, for waffles!?” As the crowd booed silently, and Vezon regained sanity, the cameras zoomed out to show the three of them. Vezon opened his mouth to speak, but it was filled with a sock, two socks, bundled together. “Zut ez thz?!? Uh thill thot thath thor thith,” Vezon said, ripping the sock from his mouth, and chucking it back to the audience. Vezon turned to Dalu, and yelled, “READ THAT DANG QUESTION ALREADY-” But Vezon was cut off by a chair, pummeling into him, and sending him sprawling backward in between two chairs. Dalu was startled, but after a few minutes of silent waiting, Vezon stirred, and got up, repositioning his chair back to where it was before. “Alright, Dalu, give me the question,” he said, extremely calm for someone who was just creamed by a chair. Dalu obliged, and read the question out to Vezon;

What's your favorite Star Wars?-Antroz

Vezon looked confused; it might have been the char… “Um, there’s more than one?” he asked, but Dalu nudged him and told him the correct question. “Oh! Favorite Star Wars film? … excuse me, but, what is Star Wars?” Obviously they had never heard of it… but then how did Dalu…?Dalu began reading the next question;

What's your favorite type of Rahi? This is to all three of you.-Kongu

Vezon obviously answered first, “Well… I particularly like Trees, they’re nice, and somebody said they give us-” Vezon was cut short by Dalu again, and she reminded him that it was RAHI, not PLANTS. “Oh, Rahi, well, maybe that big scorpion thing?” he said, “I forget the name, but it’s big, and silver, like me,” Vezon said, grinning with his chin held high. Dalu facepalmed, and decided to answer the question her way, “I really like the Takea Sharks, they’re so calm, and peaceful, they’re a very natural species!” Somehow, the audience didn’t agree with her, and someone shouted, “I LOST MY BROTHER TO A TAKEA, AND YOU LIKE ’EM!??! DAI STOOPID MATORAN!” That Toa was dragged out of the audience; no one knows where he went. Gresh was still drumming, and it was discovered he was listening to his iBrick, after Dalu ripped it out of his ears, he was startled, “THE NOISE! WHERE HAS THE NOISE GONE? Go back, we must go back to the noise!” he shouted, clawing at Dalu for his music device. Dalu re-read Gresh the question, and he regained sanity (it seems a lot of people are losing it…) “Well, I think I’m gonna have to go with the Dermis Turtle, they are slow, and a bit dumb, but they make great pets,” he said, and the audience actually clapped a bit for him, it seemed people liked the Dermis Turtle. Dalu read the next question while everyone was in a happy mood;

What year of Bionicle is your favorite?-Balta

Vezon smiled, and answered happily, “Why, two-thousand and six my friend! The year that showed me as the main protagonist! The year that I totally decimated those Toa! The year that even you were in!” he yelled, but everyone seemed to{Image}Vezon could only frown, and continue on. “Well, I suppose that’s it until next time, or, I mean after the commercial break, so… see you guys… in like… two minutes,” Vezon said, waving to the audience, who weren’t going to leave, especially those odd cardboard cutouts, which seemed to be changing places every time the break ended…CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT!!! Aw, only 795 words, we definitely need more questions, or a GS for Kopeke’s sake!lol, I didn't get the whole DUN DUN DUN thing until I looked closer at it. :P-Skar
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Ah. That makes sense then.

Gresh was still drumming, and it was discovered he was listening to his iBrick, after Dalu ripped it out of his ears, he was startled, “THE NOISE! WHERE HAS THE NOISE GONE? Go back, we must go back to the noise!” he shouted, clawing at Dalu for his music device. Dalu re-read Gresh the question, and he regained sanity (it seems a lot of people are losing it…) “Well, I think I’m gonna have to go with the Dermis Turtle, they are slow, and a bit dumb, but they make great pets,” he said, and the audience actually clapped a bit for him, it seemed people liked the Dermis Turtle.

That was a great piece of writing right there.Love bringing the Dermis Turtle back.KUTGW.-MT


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Thanks. :DNew(ish) chapter.ASK VEZON! (and friends...)Episode 11: We are not watching you. Season two: DUN DUN DUN! Vezon sat in a chair, as usual, but this time it was raised up at least three times normal, he said he felt like being the king… The Cameras all turn toward him, and zoom in surprisingly accurate on his face as he begins to speak. “WELCOME, ONE AND ALL, TO MY KINGDOM!!” Vezon yelled out, but the audience was unmoved by his words. Some clapped, kinda, and others sat, bored. Vezon pointed to a random crowd member, and screamed, “ARE YOU HERE FOR A REASON!?!” the Matoran only cowered back in his chair, and didn’t speak. Vezon sighed, and then spoke again, “ARE YOU HERE FOR A REASON?” he said, without sounding insane. The Matoran slowly nodded, and Vezon asked, “WHAT, MIGHT THAT BE?” and the Matoran replied, “I was… forced to come here... by someone..” the Matoran said. Vezon was about to speak, before a loud beep went off, and Vezon closed his mouth, and the beep stopped. Vezon opened his mouth again, and the beep followed, until Vezon had shut his mouth. Eventually, Vezon was able to speak, “alright! Whose idea was this!?” he yelled, looking around at the laughing audience as they cracked up at Vezon’s annoyance. Vezon screamed, and fell out of his chair, hitting the ground face first. He stood up, and threw his expensive watch at the crowd, but a Toa caught it, “THANKS BUD!” and Vezon sat down on the ground, CRUSHED. Dalu sighed, and lowered Vezon’s chair down, and pulled him into it. “I’m going to read you these questions, and then we’ll have a quick break from the crowd,” she said, but Vezon refused, “No, I said I would endure, I said that I would withstand the audience and all its tyranny! I won’t let them boo me to pieces again.” Vezon appeared very sane, and very determined at this moment, Dalu felt happy, he might just be starting to see the light. Vezon sat in his chair straight and let Dalu read him the question;

Which Piraka did you like the most?-Nuhrii

Vezon thought about the question, “Probably I, the one an only greatest Piraka of all time. Other than that, probably my Mom and Pop, Hakann and Vezok, who made me accidentally,” he said, smiling. Dalu almost facepalmed, but let Vezon have his moment instead, she thought he got ‘his’ moment too often, though. Gresh stole the hand-held computer from Dalu, and held it above his head with both hands, obviously worshipping it, “AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HAVE IT!!!!!” he screamed, and he began to read the question;

Whick Piraka do you hate the most?-Garan

Vezon also thought about this one, “Well,” he said, scratching his chin, “I’d have to say Zaktan, that guy was a total antagonist, and a #####, not to mention he actually thought Makuta would share power with him… wait, that was his plan, right? Bring back Makuta so they could rule the world together?” Vezon waited for confirmation, but it never came, so they moved onto the next question, also read by Gresh.

Dear Vezon, when's the last time you took a shower? Cause you smell terrible.-Fenrakk

Vezon scowled, and then growled, and then howled, and he did all that for the sake of this one, rhyming line. “I do not smell! I just… have a bit of B-O floating around me… in fact, its Dalu’s B-O!” He yelled out, earning him a slap across the face from Dalu. Vezon shook his head, “I needed that, but really, you stink,” he said to Dalu, which earned him another slap from her. He rubbed his face, and looked at the camera, “UGH, COMMERCIAL BREAK, NOW,” he said, and suddenly the cameras blacked out.*****Axonn: (Stands there) HELLO, WORLD. WELCOME TO THE COMMERCIAL! I’m here today to show you a revolutionary product, AX-ONN, the first Bionicle deodorant! Simply remove the cap, put your finger on the trigger, and pull, the result is-*BBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!*Axonn: … (Sniffs) well, it annihilated any and all smell… or is that just my nose… hey, why are things turning purple? What are those lights?! Somebody get my… (Falls over)Camera: (Shuts off)***** Vezon’s eyes widened at the commercial, “Uh, technical difficulties where Axonn is, so we’ll just resume the show,” he said, happily, like nothing had gone wrong. Vezon looked at Dalu, making an ugly face, “ALRIGHT, GIVE ME THE QUEST-” Vezon was cut off by a fire extinguisher blasting him in the face, knocking him over in his chair. Vezon shot up, extremely angry, “WHERE DID THAT COME FROM!?!?” he shouted, and Gresh raised his hand, “I thought you were on fire.” Vezon growled, and pulled his chair back up, sitting in it again. “Dalu, question,” he said impatiently.

Do you like Spherus Magna more or the MU more?-Ackar

Vezon suddenly began bawling; almost literally crying his eyes out, after one more blast from the fire extinguisher, and a lot of backstage sympathy, Vezon came out to answer the question. “I have to say the MU, it’s where I was born,” Vezon began crying again, “but I… like this planet... too.” Most were silent for Vezon, and not many even twitched over his reaction to the question. Still, nobody knows why Vezon was crying so hard. He managed to spit out, “Ask… ask the… the next… question,” he said, spitting the last word out at an extremely high pitch.

Dear Mr. Vezon,

Vezon opened his eyes wide, and yelled out, “Wow, I’m gettin’ praised!” However, nobody laughed.

How would YOU get your hands on your neighbors bucket of Karzanhi fried Gukko? (Answer quick, they're starting to eat it!!)From: Rusty Shacklefurg .

Vezon scratched his chin at the question, baring his ugly misplaced teeth, “Well, I’d have to say- wait, who are you? Doesn’t matter, I’d grab by Staff of Fusion, bust down the door with it, and fuse the family into a beast under my command. After, I would eat the delicious Gukko.” One person in the audience clapped, and he was mobbed by cardboard cutouts, which eventually stayed in one group, one that people stayed away from. Dalu sighed, “Well, we’re out of questions, so goodbye everyone, see you next time… hang on, we’re still going, after the commercial break is when we take our break, oh Mata Nui, I don’t think I will last.” Gresh patter her on the shoulder, “I know, here is the only safe place I am from Kiina, so I hate break time, that’s why I was so eager to get back on the show,” he explained. Vezon pointed to the audience, “Hey everyone, look, watch how fast I can change my armor, this is TV magic,” Vezon said, he raised his hand, and snapped, and suddenly, he was wearing a black cape, “See? Magic,” of course, the Audience saw him struggle to get the cape on, and eventually have help brought out to get the cape on, while the cameras turned off the second he snapped, the cameras turned back on when he had his cape on. Vezon sighed, “Alright, roll the break, and somebody get us some waters,” Vezon said, and had a small water bottle chucked at his head from behind the curtains.ANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDDDDDDDD CUUUUT!!! Awesome! 1,230 words everyone! I say we do prose, coupled with four questions, and a hilarious commercial every chapter, because this might be our most successful.-Skar
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Axonn: (Stands there) HELLO, WORLD. WELCOME TO THE COMMERCIAL! I’m here today to show you a revolutionary product, AX-ONN, the first Bionicle deodorant! Simply remove the cap, put your finger on the trigger, and pull, the result is-*BBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!*Axonn: … (Sniffs) well, it annihilated any and all smell… or is that just my nose… hey, why are things turning purple? What are those lights?! Somebody get my… (Falls over)

That was the greatest comedy scene of the year. That was absolutely hysterical.Ohhhhhh man that was so funny.Great chappy. But that scene was just...dang...that was awesome.-MT


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Awesome, I'm glad you liked it. :biggrin:ASK VEZON! (and friends...)Episode 12: The newest GS... or not.Season two: DUN DUN DUN! The scene opens up on Vezon, “OW! WHY’D YOU DO THAT?!” he yelled, and the scene receded from Vezon. Vezon sat on the floor, with crayons in his hands; he was trying to draw something. While everyone else watched him with bored eyes, Dalu and Gresh looked over the questions. “Vezon, it’s time to start the show,” she said, but he raised a hand full of crayons, “NO! I want to finish this drawing!” he shouted, going back to his ‘art’. After a few more minutes of waiting, Vezon help up a poorly draw picture of a house, him, a tree, a few Rahi, the three suns, a car, and Dalu and Gresh. Dalu walked over and looked at it, “I’ll put it in the keepsakes book,” she said, patting him on the head. Vezon got up, and sat in his chair, ready for the question. “Alright, SHOOT!” as he yelled this out, he was shot by a pebble the size of a finger nail in the forehead. Surprisingly, it knocked him over, and he got up in a rage, he yelled out, and leaped into the audience, trying to hit anyone closest to him. “COME BACK HERE! I STILL HAVE SOME FIGHT… in… meeeeeeeee….” Vezon collapsed, with four fluffy darts sticking up out of his back. The crowd pushed him out of the seats, and onto the floor, there stood a Matoran, dressed in Human safari clothes, and wearing an Indiana Jones hat. “Well, this one seems to ‘ave had a bit much to drink, eh? Someone grab ‘im and pull the poor guy onto the stage,” immediately, two Toa hopped out of their seats and grabbed Vezon, chucking him back onto the stage. The Aussie Matoran looked up at the audience, “I’ll stick around, I’ll protect you all, and I kinda enjoyed shootin’ ‘im down,” the Matoran said, tipping his hat, and walking over to a corner, where he stood, watching Vezon. The Skakdi known as Vezon twitched violently, and yelled while still paralyzed on the floor, his jaw hung open, drooling. “Ge he oauh is loor!” he yelled, blinking and looking around at Dalu and Gresh. “Hut ar oo aiting or?!??!” he yelled, slowly moving his arm, he was able to shake it at them. Gresh moved over and picked Vezon up from his arm pits, and put him in his chair, letting his whole upper body slump over to the side; it was a very pitiful sight. “Eed ee hah quesion!” Vezon blurted out to Dalu, who started reading him a question.

Vezon, why did you call Hakkan and Vezon your parents? I think that just creeped everyone out. :blink:-Kazi

Vezon hadn’t regained control over his mouth yet, so he still slurred words, but he was able to move his body into place to look like he could talk normal. “Hey ar hy hoh ah hah, hey hey hee,” he said. Translation: They are my Mom and Dad, they made me. A Translator told everyone what he said. The Audience nodded slowly, a few people going, “Ohhhhhhh…” but nothing else was said by them, or the audience. Vezon shook his head, but he still couldn’t talk right.“Alu, etc estion pllzz,” he said. Translation: Dalu, next question please. Some people were still confused about this thing.

Which ice cream would you rather have: Madu Cabolo Spliz or Thornax Delight?-Dezalk

Vezon was a bit puzzled by the question, so he had Gresh answer for a real answer. “Well,” Gresh said, thinking, “I’d have to go with Thornax Delight, it’s just more Bara Magna,” he said, smiling.The Audience actually laughed, and a few clapped, and Gresh thought he could hear a whistle. He looked at Dalu, “Alright, next question!” he shouted, blowing out his microphone.From that point on, nobody understood Gresh if they watched on TV, and everyone in the audience strained to hear him. Dalu opened the question on the handheld, and SUDDENLY-A giant plasma screen TV came down to cover up the red curtains. Dalu and the audience, and Gresh and Vezon, all watched in awe as a smiley face appeared on it, and started talking to them, looking around the audience and the three hosts, as if it was living. “Greetings, one and all, I come from the ceiling. I was born in Mata Nui, and adopted at the Brick-Mart center. Enough about me, I will show you all the questions, and read them to you, you shall call me Rall.” It was a very disturbing sight, especially so because its eyes would light up to show a particular individual, and it’s mouth never moved. Its strange dotted eyes made it look alive, but not alive.Dalu only sat in awe, but finally spoke, “Uh… okay... read the question… Rall,” she said, very confused. Rall spoke, “I will Dalu, but first, I must capture a picture of everyone’s face in this audience, just for recording purposes,” it then began taking pictures of everyone in the audience, and cataloged them in its database, some people looked shocked, other angry, and some just made faces for the picture as it showed up over Rall’s face.“Now that we are finished with that, I shall read the question;”

what spartan are you?

The smile turned into a frown, “Well, that was rather blunt, Vezon, it is for you,” it said, and Vezon nodded slowly, “Uh… I’m vEzOnFTW243, but I called my Spartan Noble Six… not exactly sure what you mean,” Vezon shrugged, “oh well, NEXT!”The Smiled moved up and down on the screen, “This is me nodding,” it said, and it announced the next question while showing it underneath itself on the screen;

Hey Vezon, why do you have a cape? And where could I get one of those?-Ahkmou

Vezon squinted at the question, “Hm… why? Are you going to use it to become a being of ultimate destruction!??!?!” Vezon yelled, but then he closed his mouth, and really answered the question, “Well, I have a cape because it’s cool, and because it kept me cool in the heat of that volcano,” he said. “Oh, and I got it at the Kwikee mart, or something like that.”Dalu raised an eyebrow in confusion, “Edna Mode says capes kill people,” she said, Vezon and Gresh just looked at her weird. “What?” Vezon shook his head, “Enough with the Earth references! I’m sick of them! Leave Earth out of this! Alright, now, it’s time to say bye, so… bye,” Vezon said, and the Smiley played some elevator music as the scene faded to black.AND CUT! Wow, 1,117 words! Awesome, now only if we had a GS…-Skar Edited by Skarloth
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The Aussie Matoran looked up at the audience, “I’ll stick around, I’ll protect you all, and I kinda enjoyed shootin’ ‘im down,” the Matoran said, tipping his hat, and walking over to a corner, where he stood, watching Vezon.

That's what we need. An Australian bodyguard.

Which ice cream would you rather have: Madu Cabolo Spliz or Thornax Delight?

Explosive ice cream. Tasty.

The smile turned into a frown, “Well, that was rather blunt, Vezon, it is for you,” it said, and Vezon nodded slowly, “Uh… I’m vEzOnFTW243, but I called my Spartan Noble Six… not exactly sure what you mean,” Vezon shrugged, “oh well, NEXT!”

This guy would be great in a presidential debate.Nice chappy, as usual. Also, if you need a GS, I can help. Just need a form.-MT


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Heh, alright. :PI'll have to write the following chapters, so questions would be extremely appreciated.And form;Name:Gender:Species:Powers/Weapons:Personality:Other Notes:Annnd I have to update The Toa Mizore as well... I'd say the chapter for that is about a third done, yeah.So there's...Just beginning(1): Not started at all/only a few paragraphs into itOn its way(2): Further than getting started, yet not at the halfway pointHalfway done(3): Halfway done with the chapter/getting to that point (I'd say the other chapter is about here)Almost done(4): Nearing the end of the chapter/at the end of the chapter, with only a few finishing touches leftDone(5): The chapter is finished and ready to be posted.And poof, a chapter scale appears! From now on I'll be using this to show the progress of chapters in any story that I am currently writing/will write.Chapter thirteen for this is at 1 right now, but expect it in... whenever I get some questions. :P-Skar

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