TEXTERMINATION: Lives at steak

[Ghidora131]

TEXTERMINATION

 

 

A TALE OF A WAR FOR DELICIOUS FOODS AND HOT SAUCE

 

Let's begin.

 

 

 

 

Entry two-1-IV-9000-3.

 

Karz, it had been too long to remember. All I know is the basics. But i'll say them anyway.

 

 

 

A long while ago, a group called the peuce ones took over the steak industry. That meant they now head the hot sauce complex and anything else BBQ. Which is all Karzahni for us Matoran. Not only that, but our resistance force was pummeled by a group of three called "The delusional quadruplets". They have killed many of our men, and it was a messy job as you can imagine. Heck, those skewers weren't even clean.

 

But that's not the worst of it. Several Vahki have destroyed the main energy spiral holding up our base, so that means it's only a matter of time before Peuce -4 and his assasins attack and kill us all. But we won't go down without a fight.

 

Today might be the day, so this is my last entry. Goodbye.

 

Signed, Vol-Tex.

 

 

 

Vol-Tex finished his entry and turned around to see Burnribs waiting for him. "We have got to be off. The blockade is coming down, and we've got to piece it back together. Well, come on!" Vol-Tex grabbed his weapons and headed out.

 

Soon, they reached the bottom of the Big Base Quarters, or B.B.Q. Vol-Tex hopped down and then noticed something disturbingly odd. No one was there. No corpses, no blood, just the scent of steaks in the air. Suddenly, an unknown figure shot a blast of purified and intensified hot sauce at Burnribs. It ate through his hips, his linbs, and with one final burp, it had eaten through all of him.

 

 

"No... Not Burnribs!" Vol-Tex crawled over to the spot where Burnribs had been.  The figure stepped out from the shadows, revealing himself to be none other than...

 

 

 

"Sunlight." Vol-Tex said with disgust, right before Sunlight knocked the wind out of him. He raised his hot sauce launcher, when suddenly a blast hit in the back. He staggered and moaned, and fell to ground, curled into a ball and whimpering. Vol-Tex was suddenly raised off of the ground by Consumo, the world's best steak eater. "Come on! they're storming the base!"

 

 

Vahki were everywhere, shooting at the wimpy toothpick supports. With their beef bazookas, Vol-Tex and Consumo kept them at bay(I guess) until Vol-Tex suddenly dropped his bazooka. "Oops...?"

 

He hadn't done it by himself, for suddenly a sniper bullet dove through the head of Consumo, chucking him down the baseside. Vol-Tex whirled around to face Peuce -4. "It's over, Tex." Said Peuce -4, eyes burning with hatred. "We will win this war... And what will you do about it?" He tossed the now ammo-less sniper rifle aside and pulled out his two rib swords.

 

Vol-tex barely had enough time to pull out his Prime cut-lass before Peuce attacked him. They clashed until Peuce was disarmed. Voltex tangled with the steakmaster until he had him on the ground. He drew his T-bone sai., and slammed it into Peuce -4's chest.

 

"NO. NEVER!" said peuce as he instructed the last remaining Vahki to tap the base. With a touch lighter than a fruit fly, the entire thing immediately collapsed with Peuce -4 and Vol-Tex in the remains, dead.

 

 

As the crowds gathered around his corpse, Consumo (who had survived just fine somehow) placed a memorial stone, saying "Vol-Tex, savior of the Barbeque foods and a real hero... I guess."

 

 

 

This has been officially approved by Voltex.

 

 

 

 

THE END.

[Voltex]

"No... Not Burnribs!" Vol-Tex crawled over to the spot where Burnribs had been.  The figure stepped out from the shadows, revealing himself to be none other than...

"Sunlight." Vol-Tex said with disgust

 

Oh my god I actually burst out laughing so hard

 

I approve of this 140% 

Edited January 11, 2015 by Strange Festive Voltex

[Ghidora131]

I have one laughing maniac besides myself, and it's the guy in the story! Yayz!

[Chro]

This has somehow increased my respect for Ghidora significantly

[Portalfig]

man so

 

at first I was like 

 

kinda offended almost?

 

then I read the thing and saw that Voltex actually knew about it

 

then I lawled so so much

[Ghidora131]

Good to hear this is getting popular!

[In Between the Shadows]

My parents were looking at me funny because I burst out laughing!

[Arzaki]

I feel like this is spoilers for EXTERMINATION.

[Voltex]

I feel like this is spoilers for EXTERMINATION.

 

I can promise you that it isn't. It's a mash of ideas from several chapters all twisted together. 

Edited January 12, 2015 by Strange Festive Voltex

[Ghidora131]

Into one big chaotic messed known as:

 

A NON-SPOILER!!!

[user-402520536]

Burnribs... no...

 

GHIDORA, YOU MONSTER!

[Ghidora131]

Mwehehe... When Burnmad met his fate, Burnribs had to follow along.

[Voltex]

Is this going to remain as more of a oneshot type deal, or will you be parodying later chapters at some point as well?

[user-402520536]

As the crowds gathered around his corpse, Consumo (who had survived just fine somehow) placed a memorial stone, saying "Vol-Tex, savior of the Barbeque foods and a real hero... I guess"

Consumo is Ghidora-fied Voxumo, yes?

[Arzaki]

 

As the crowds gathered around his corpse, Consumo (who had survived just fine somehow) placed a memorial stone, saying "Vol-Tex, savior of the Barbeque foods and a real hero... I guess"

Consumo is Ghidora-fied Voxumo, yes?

 

I think you mean...

 

*puts on shades*

 

Ghidora-FRIED Voxumo.

 

 

No? No one? Okay....

[user-402520536]

 

 

As the crowds gathered around his corpse, Consumo (who had survived just fine somehow) placed a memorial stone, saying "Vol-Tex, savior of the Barbeque foods and a real hero... I guess"

Consumo is Ghidora-fied Voxumo, yes?

 

I think you mean...

 

*puts on shades*

 

Ghidora-FRIED Voxumo.

 

 

No? No one? Okay....

*claps*

[Ghidora131]

Much better.

 

 

And yes, dear old Voxy survived a lethal injury and a death drop. I doubt this will ever occur in EXTERMINATION.

 

@Voltex

 

Gee, I don't know. If it's fine with you I will.

Edited January 15, 2015 by ghidora131

[Voltex]

Fine by me, yeah. You'll probably want to wait for a few more chapters to come out first, though - just to avoid spoiling those who might read this before the epic it's based on.

[Ghidora131]

You're holding even me in suspense now. Why the agony?!

[Arzaki]

You're holding even me in suspense now. Why the agony?!

Infinity is co- oh wait that already happened.

 

*ahem*

 

EXTERMINATION is coming.

[Ghidora131]

Yeah... Someday...

[Ghidora131]

CHAPTER 2...? Maybe?

 

 

Vol-Tex woke up slowly, seeing he was in a cylinder. He was scared to death of cylinders. He began screaming and running around, trying to escape out of anywhere but the gaping hole in it. Only after he had tripped and fallen through it did he see the sleek armour of agent 263.

 

"what... Why am I not dead?" Vol-Tex stammered, attempting to crawl away from the cylinder. Agent 263 handed him a familiar ketchup bottle. "Burnribs..." He muttered. "So he really is dead."

 

In the back, someone facepalmed. That someone was the big boss guy, otherwise known as Contort. Contort stepped forward, and then his arm twisted into a funny position. He angrily straightened it and approached Vol-Tex. "So." He said as his leg twisted sideways suddenly, "How have you been?"

 

Vol-Tex looked at the script suddenly. "So... You're a guy?"

 

"What? oh, that hasn't been revealed yet." He said, suddenly flying into the wall behind him. "it's just - OW! - proper grammar... Yeowch..." Contort raised up and straightened his berserk legs. "Agent 263! I need you to-"

 

Tendurlo, the infamous agent -13, stepped up and stood on Tex. "tell us what you know why can't you speak you idiot wake up come on I have to go get an espresso will you just-"

 

"-13!!!" Contort said as his arm wrapped around him. "We have had enough of your mouth for one day, thank you! now, I need-"

 

Kayn, otherwise known as agent 4444444+12, walked up and said to Tex "what's up, bruh?"

 

"GO AWAY, DANG IT!!!" Contort shoved Kayn away from Vol-Tex. "Agent 263, take Vol-Tex down to the teleperotation rooms and get him to BGRKoro!" Contort's leg frontflipped him suddenly. "Go!"

 

Agent 263 and Vol-Tex left, shooting each other annoyed glances.

 

 

 

 

An airship climbed its way through the air, carrying the passengers of Pulse and JiMayo. JiMayo turned on the radio comlink.

 

This is Encore one, do you read me lightsparrow?

 

This is lightsparrow, I read you lowd and clear.

 

Um, you misspelled "loud".

 

Zip it! I have to open the back door on you ship for absolutely no reason, Jimayo. Hold tight!

 

This is Encore one. What's a tight? and how do you-

 

 

An explosion rocketed through the air, as a tiny little piece of BGRKoro fell and died sadly. The entire hamburger-shaped city fell with it, and died in a mushroom-roasted cloud. "So funneh" said Lightsparrow as he plopped onto JiMayo's ship and shot Pulse with a nerf bullet, cutting off his 'pulse'. JiMayo got up and tried frantically to slap Lightsparrow, but to no avail. Lightsparrow jumped out and used his magical powers to fly away gracefully, screaming "GOODBYE SUCKA!!!"

 

JiMayo's airship hit the water and began to make bubbles. JiMayo crawled his way away from the bubble bath, but Encore one decided to shut off his engine like an idiot, and crashed into him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Taco nuiva stopped and thought. She had just been a painter, living a simple life... Until she painted a picture of a prize steak. Then, the peuce ones were all over her, Burnribs showed up and did a thing I guess - And now she was here. She glared at the shadow Matoran known as ToaST - Well, General ToaST - as he grinned maniacally.

 

"Stop griping." He said with a chuckle. "The worst that happened was they never flossed."

 

"You're a monster!" She growled, appearing very monstrous herself. "That was improperly cooked explosive steak you fed them!"

 

ToaST shrugged. "Hey, they flew right into the peuce ones' grill. It was awesome."

 

"That was three volatile digestive systems going kaboom at the same time! you just killed three people!"

 

"Yeah, and three more-"

 

"ENOUGH!!!" shouted Elittra, one of the leaders of the rebellion. "Come on; we found Vol-Tex."

 

As they walked down the hallways, ToaST asked Elittra "I forget, which rebellion are we again?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

Vol-Tex and Munchy  arrived to meet Taco nuiva and ToaST. "listen, all of you..." Said Munchy, "That is the final invention of Ehks. It's a teleporter, one that-"

 

"A CYLINDER!!!" Vol-Tex scrambled into the corner, only coming out after ToaST smashed his fist into it, turning it into a non-cylinder. "Yes. Well, it only goes one way, we don't know where it goes, and it smells like old cabbage, but whatever."

 

"I'll go." said Vol-Tex, not really knowing what Munchy just said. "ToaST, Burnribs is dead, and you're his replacement. And you, Taco-"

 

 

"You're replacing me." Without a confirmation from Taco, he stepped into the once cylinder, shivering as the smell of old cabbage crept into his nostrils.

 

Munchy pressed the release switch just as Vol-Tex decided not to go. In a flash, he was gone.

 

 

 

"Well," ToaST said, "What now, boss? heh heh..."

 

Taco nuiva frowned angrily. "First, we party. Then, we tell everyone that Vol-Tex is gone. After that, we strike the peuce ones."

[Voltex]

JiMayo's airship hit the water and began to make bubbles. JiMayo crawled his way away from the bubble bath, but Encore one decided to shut off his engine like an idiot, and crashed into him.

 

So much yes

This is why I'm happy that we can use the word idiot in stories now

 

As they walked down the hallways, ToaST asked Elittra "I forget, which rebellion are we again?"

 

Even more yes

 

Vol-Tex woke up slowly, seeing he was in a cylinder. He was scared to death of cylinders. He began screaming and running around, trying to escape out of anywhere but the gaping hole in it.

"A CYLINDER!!!" Vol-Tex scrambled into the corner, only coming out after ToaST smashed his fist into it, turning it into a non-cylinder. "Yes. Well, it only goes one way, we don't know where it goes, and it smells like old cabbage, but whatever."

 

This extraordinary fear of cylinders is entirely absurd and I absolutely approve of it, yes, very much so

 

E: I swear to God BZP get your act together and fix the quotes

Edited January 19, 2015 by Strange Festive Voltex

[Makuta Luroka]

E: I swear to God BZP get your act together and fix the quotes

What seems to be the problem?

[Ghidora131]

Maybe the fact that his last quote had a big white box around every letter. Dunno.

 

Anyway, I'm glad to see this is liked! Gosh, some of this stuff is hard to write sometimes... XD

[Voltex]

Maybe the fact that his last quote had a big white box around every letter. Dunno.

 

Anyway, I'm glad to see this is liked! Gosh, some of this stuff is hard to write sometimes... XD

 

Considering how dark Extermination is, I think you're doing a very admirable job.

[Ghidora131]

With so much mystery and sadness in EXTERMINATION, it's about time we had some flat-out stupidity.

[Shadowhawk]

This. Is. An absolute gut-buster of a comedy/spoof.
 
>> 10/10 ROFLOL

Great job, ghidora!

Edited January 20, 2015 by Shadowhawk

[Ghidora131]

Thanks! I think this is getting pretty good!

[Ghidora131]

CHAPTER 3... That's a magic number

 

 

 

 

 

Jimayo woke up. Which was not good, considering he wanted to sleep. He also suddenly breathed, when he was underwater. After a coughing attack, he could breath again.

 

"Dang it, you're- Uh, I mean yayz, you're fine! Ugh..." a voice of utter unimportance said from the background. JiMayo turned to face a Po-Matoran, who wore a Kakama with a steakhouse symbol on it. "BGRKoro... Any survivors?"

 

"Well..." he pulled out a platter. "Three ribroasts and a side of-"

 

"ANY PEOPLE SURVIVORS?!" He said through gritted teeth.

 

"Well, nobody really great... I'm pohatu, by the way." Jimayo looked at the Matoran odd. "But... Pohatu was a legendary Toa."

 

"Oh, I named myself in his honor. *sniffle*"

 

JiMayo sighed. "Well, where's your leader?"

 

 

 

"Dead." an awesome voice said from the back of the room. In stepped a Ga-Matoran with a battle-torn look. "The name's Ghidora. Anybody still there on BGRKoro with life in them is being found by the peuce ones at this very moment. Besides that, I and Glazed have taken command, kind of."

 

"...Glazed? who's that?" JiMayo said.

 

Ghidora snapped his fingers. Chicken fingers, of course. He ate them and called to Glazed "(gulp) Hey Glazed, get over here! Mayoman wants to talk to yah!"

 

Glazed rolled her eyes and walked over. "Hey, the name's Shadow of the doomed and deceased ignited into flames of scorching agony - But for absolutely no reason at all, you can call me Glazed."

 

 

"Riiight... Well, when do we land?" The vehicle jolted and landed. Pohatu looked at him, then to his wristwatch, and in an absentminded tone "In about five minutes, I think. And how did your ship crash?"

 

"Lightsparrow was working for the peuce ones the whole time." JiMayo said, anger burning in his eyes.

 

Pohatu and Ghdora followed JiMayo out of the vehicle as Veganstep woke up. "what did I miss?"

 

 

 

 

 

Agent 263 paused as se loaded her sniper rifle and took aim at two Matoran in the street - apparently talking about where to eat.

 

"So, Chambliss, where should we eat?"

 

BANG.

 

"Well, I do like the steakhouse in le metru. What about you?"

 

BANG.

 

"I'd do for Chinese cuisine at the moment, but I must watch my stomach issues."

 

BANG.

 

"Ooh, Chinese does sound excellent, Lord Kumadu. Let us be off!"

 

BANG.

 

"Say, do you hear a gun being fired?"

 

BANG.

 

"No... Do you?"

 

BANG.

 

"No."

 

Agest 263 angrly threw her sniper rifle on the ground and stomped it.  Then, a specialized Vahki unit known as a Bread unit appeared and took aim. "You are an invalid ingredient die."

 

Agent 263 cringed and expected death, but was met by it folding up and falling on the ground. Peuce eleventy-seven walked up. "Well, nice to see you, mate!"

 

Agent 263 smiled weakly, but was distracted by a Matoran coming out from hiding. "Ah, Tavahka! come on, we have work to do!"

 

Tavahka groaned as Agent 263 moved him along at the point of a gun. Soon they came across three destroyed Bread units and a Matoran named Letagi. "I-I burped." he said with a .

 

"Yayz, this is great! come along then!" peuce eleventy-seven said as they continued on their way.

 

 

 

 

"ToaST, I told you not to assemble a dinner committee!" Taco nuiva said as she entered the office area of... Somewhere.

 

"Yeah, but I frankly don't care. We have to win this war and paintings can't fight, y'know." ToaST said as he took a seat.

 

"Karz, I'm yo boss, got it? so you do what I say!"

 

ToaST grabbed a vader mask before speaking again. "Do you think you're being treated unfairly?"

 

"Never mind." She complained.

 

"Goods!" He said, smiling as he threw the mask off. "Now, what do you guys want from Arby's?"

 

"A root beer." Said Munchy, from the corner of the room.

 

"And a side of fries." a voice said as Xareas entered the room, making dumpsters look respectable at this point.

 

Taco gasped slightly, then remained seated. ToaST started again.

 

"Vol-Tex is gone, so me and Taco are in charge. And we're going to attack the Peuce ones before they take down another eatery."

 

Vinylstep arrived. "BGRKoro... Is gone. Bombs were placed all over by Lightsparrow,and now... It's with atlantis."

 

"G-Gone?!" Taco shouted, horror in her eyes.

 

"See? SEE?! this has to end!" ToaST shouted. "We've got to stop this monstrosity from destroying all of the world!"

 

"Fine, whatever." Rider of Kikanalo said. "What do you want?"

 

 

 

 

 

Vol-Tex stumbled out of the teleporter. "Where am I?" He thought. Suddenly, a side panel opened up and three Matoran entered... The delusional quadruplets. Quisauce laughed an evil laugh. "Oh, silly Tex. You can't stand a chance against us, not with your bare fists."

 

Suddenly, a Po-Matoran rocketed forwards and girly slapped Quisauce into the other two quadruplets. Then, a White Matoran threw a biscuit into the midst, spewing white bread everywhere. "Come on!"

 

The Matoran raced down the halls for about twenty seconds before everyone took a break. Vol-Tex took about twenty minutes catching his breath before answering.

 

"Are you... TXS?"

 

"Yabetcha." TXS replied. "Welcome to the red star, by the way. So... Yeah. Want to get lunch?"

[In Between the Shadows]

Glazed rolled her eyes and walked over. "Hey, the name's Shadow of the doomed and deceased ignited into flames of scorching agony - But for absolutely no reason at all, you can call me Glazed."

HAHAHA! OH GOD

[Ghidora131]

Lol

 

 

And the conversation between Chambliss and Lord Kumadu is so confusing...

[Ghidora131]

CHAPTER 5 (because I can't count)

 

 

 

 

Peuce 82 sat grumbling, as peuce 9 talked lazily about the weather and sports. Of course, his real name was Ehks, but he left his wallet back home. He kinda liked being Peuce 82 but he also absolutely hated it. Suddenly, with a crash and a lot of shouting, in poured the delusional quadruplets.

 

"What the Kar- Uhh I mean stand and report." Peuce 9 said with a very annoyed tone.

 

"Oh, Vol-Tex arrived." Quisauce said. "Yeah, and he whipped us bad. But we picked up some hot sauce! :bucktooth:"

 

Peuce 82's face lit up with anger. "You let that little Karzed imbecile Vol-Tex get in?! Why you..."

 

"Don't look at us, boss." Undersauce stated. "He had friends. That, and your eyes are scary."

 

Ehks Peuce 82 growled. "Come along, we've got a Tex to hunt." Peuce 9 stared at them, shaking his head.

 

 

 

 

Peuce eleventy-seven ran along, skipping happily and imagining to pick flowers... While Portalfig cowered in fear, being dragged along by Agent 263. At the location to stop at, Portalfig saw he - and the others - were in the base of the coliseum. He stuttered and spat, as Letagi grumbled along. Suddenly, a voice rumbled from behind that shocked everyone in the group.

 

 

"STAHP!!!"

 

Peuce 0.6 stood there, fumiong with rage, holding a beef bazooka in his hands. "I will kill you all..." he whispered.

 

After a few moments of however close to thinking anyone could get in that group, Peuce eleventy-seven said "HAMMER TIME!!!" an rushed forward, proceeding to turn peuce 0.6 into bloody mulsh at the tune of the music. After it was all over, Portal fig ran up and stabbed a random part. "Yayz, I did something!" and began to dance.

 

"Come along, dangit, we've much more to see!" Peuce eleventy-seven said, smiling through gritted teeth.

 

 

 

 

Shadow of the doomed and deceased ignited into flames of scorching agony - er, I mean Glazed - was standing on a guard at the rebellion outpost, while Aiwendil tried posting a picture of the rebellion.

 

"How about this one: The rebellion against the galactic empire. Ooh, that sounds cool!"

 

Glazed was about to tear the wonderful idea to smithereens, when she saw a Ta-Matoran approach. "Stay where you are! We'll be right there." She and Aiwendil raced downstairs on Mario karts before landing by the front gate. After a few moments Aiwendil threw a banana peel at her. "Ow, stahp it!" she snapped. "All right, whaddya want?"

 

 

"I WILL STEAL YOUR SOULS..."

 

"Ha! gotcha, didn't I? I'm looking for a warrior of the rebellion to come speak with my boss-man." Chambliss said.

 

Before giving Aiwendil a chance to respond, she had taken off with him in a Mario kart: Double dash! kart. Aiwendel gave a saddest face look before leaving to prep the poster.

 

C|hamblis drove like a madman, heading to every other place that had a scene attached to it before arriving at an alleyway that smelled of illegal toxins. Glazed got out and strode around dizzily for a while until she saw two blood red eyes staring from the back alleyway. "Kumadu...? You're not Kumadu."

 

"Wrong." The figure said with a dark voice. "I'm Batman."

 

"..."

 

"Okay, I'm Luroka, dang it! now shut it!"

 

 

 

 

 

"Are you ready, my son?" asked TXS. Before Vol-Tex could say anything back, the wall burst open. Inside, Vol-Tex saw many familiar faces.

 

"G-Guys?" he stammered, trying to figure out how everyone smelled like tacos. "how did you die?" Chro asked.

 

Vol-Tex shook his head. "Didn't. Teleported up here. Using an invention of Ehks'." TXS quickly responded. "This is everyone we could save."

 

"And others." Blade scoffed in the back.

 

"Whoa, what?" Vol-Tex stammered. "You're... different."

 

"That's right - I'm dead." With that, Blade pulled out a gun and shot herself in the head. The group fell silent for a while.

 

"Um..." Vol-Tex tried to figure out something, but to no avail.

 

"AS IN OTHER NEWS," TXS said, trying to forget what just happened. "Anyone else that was killed - was re-killed by the shadow. Sumiki, Lhikevvik, Flaredrick, Squishy, ham on rye, tenderloin steak, grilled chicken..."

 

At this point TXS's mouth was drooling. Vol-Tex snapped his fingers to get him to concentrate. "Urm, uh, yes. And Ehks survived. But he re-joined the white council... And he's still attacking us."

 

"He's bound to come looking for me," Vol-Tex said, "Most likely in all the wrong places. That gives us a silver-glazed opportunity."

 

TXS and all the others looked at him.

 

"To destroy the red star."

Edited February 5, 2015 by ghidora131

[In Between the Shadows]

That gives us a silver-glazed opportunity."

I see what you did there.

[Ghidora131]

Good. *wears glasses*

 

 

For those who have also read the epic, how am I doing so far?

[Shadowhawk]

Good. *wears glasses*

 

 

For those who have also read the epic, how am I doing so far?

At first I wasn't going to say anything, 'cause I didn't feel like I had anything to say... then I saw your sorrowful post over in the Extermination review topic and I felt bad.

 

So anyway.

 

I don't have much to share. I don't have a whole big long review thingie written up that I can copy/paste. I don't have any profound words of wisdom to impart.

 

But I do just want you to know that Textermination is one of the very few stories (along with/including Extermination, of course) on BZPower that I regularly follow. Once every day, as part of my normal BZPower routine, I check to see if Extermination has been updated, and if it has, I goes straight onto my 'must read as soon as I have ten minutes to spare' list. I read it as soon as I can, and enjoy it immensely, and then I get to go and see it parodied in the latest Textermination update!

 

And my reaction is always-- always-- something very much like this --->

 

If not this --->

 

There's just a off-beat little something, a sort of whimsically ridiculous charm, about Textermination, that's always good for a big ol' belly laugh, and always makes my day just a little bit better. It's the triple-chocolate homemade icing on the cake of Extermination, and both are yummy and together they are stupendous.

 

So yeah. Keep up the good work, man.

[Franco]

Chambliss: putting his life at steak since being shot at, putting others' lives at steak via utter disregard for the speed limit. Very nice.

[Ghidora131]

It's the triple-chocolate homemade icing on the cake of EXTERMINATION. Wow.

 

 

Never, in my wildest dreams(and they are wild) did I ever expect to hear this.

 

 

 

But there yah go: To anybody who thought my comedies like Ask Vezon and the Quest for Hype were nothing but pointless trash, I rest my case:

 

They DO indeed improve lives.

[Ghidora131]

CHAPTER SIX
 
 
 
"Um, I'm not sure if this is a good idea," said Portalfig. "What if he's like... I mean he could be... But if he didn't... I wish I could finish my sentence..."
 
Peuce eleventy-seven chortled, then he coughed, and that lead to a full-scale hacking attack. "mm, yes. I think you'll be fine. UNDERSTAND?!"
 
"N-uh, yes."
 
"Yayz!" he said, then pulled him inside. At a desk was seated Peuce -4, scowling the daylights out of him. Portalfig stumbled forwards after Peuce eleventy-seven gave him a small Falcon Punch. A small smurf appeared on Peuce -4's face. He angrily wiped it off and threw it in the trash.
 
Have a seat - Both of you, please." He said, gesturing to the one chair. "I have been... Really bored, actually."
 
Portalfig fought back the pain from having Peuce eleventy-seven sitting on him. "So, Tavahkashakalamakila," Peuce -4 began, "what's happening?"
 
 
What the-"Um, I've been fine...Ish." Tavahkashakalamakila said. Suddenly, Peuce 200 burst through the door. "WE HAZ AN ISSUE!!! Peuce 0 is under attack by three losers and a snail! HELP!!!"
 
 
A long silence followed.
 
"...Peuce 2 is there, right?"
 
Peuce -4 facepalmed. "All right, all right. I'll notify him to investigate. You head to the conference room. Now."
 
 
 
 
 
 
Agent 263 crept to the door, followed by Letagi. Letagi burped... And sent her flying out into the hall. He followed sheepishly.
 
Peering over the railing, a Ko-Matoran looked at Agent 263 and fired a couple of plot lasers, hitting her and giving her deep emotional distress. Letagi was looking at another Matoran.
 
"Is that... Gassurfer?"
 
"WINDRIDER." Agent 263 said, gritting her teeth. "I-"
 
A teleloprtation light lit up behind them. She tackled the burpy Matoran and activated her invisibility shield. "Gosh, your breath stinks." Said Letagi.
 
"Shut it." she whispered.
 
Peuce 5% walked in and looked at the prisoners. A device on his arm beeped. He growled and used the teleportation pad to leave.... Right before the wall began to erode.
 
 
Sunlight stepped through. And tripped.
 
 
Agent 263 drew her sword and fought with him, eventually turning into a girly slap contest. Sunlight won, and drew his hot sauce launcher. She grabbed Letagi, using the teleportation device, and left. Sunlight was left to do nothing but press the button linked below.

http://nooooooooooooooo.com/

 

 

 

 

 

JiMayo, Ghidora, and Pohatu were storming the outpost - and it was chaos. JiMayo's new espresso cannon blasted the doors away as they advanced, Pohatu screaming a war cry. The guards were inside drinking beverages when they got blasted away by espresso. "You hold them off!" Pohatu yelled as he went to the nearest computer terminal. "I'll hack some of these Bread units!"

 

Jimayo rolled across the room and fired at a guard that had just recovered. Across the room, Ghidora pulled out his "sword breaker" dagger and immediately put it to use, snapping the blade of a guard's sword before cleverly disguising the pieces as sushi. The guard greedily dug in - and they sliced his throat, and then his intestines, which killed him. The Ta-Matoran shot another guard before it tried to eat Ghidora. He slammed his shield into another one as he glanced to Pohatu.

 

"Where are they?!"

 

"Somewhere!"

 

JiMayo decided to take the elevator to search around - Ghidora could handle himself. But when he reached the elevator base, he heard the pleasant ding as a pressure cooker landed in front of him and exploded. He flew through the wall, then proceeded to try again... Only to meet the familiar form of Lightsparrow, accompanied by a Peuce ones compadre.

 

"Hey, JiMayo! We were just discussing about how ugly you are."

 

JiMayo shot three espresso shots at the pair, but Peuce 0 slung his staff (considering it said the word 'staff' on it that's probably what it was) at JiMayo's head. Ghidora blocked it with his dagger, but received a Falcon Kick that launched him out the wall. JiMayo tried to girly slap Peuce 0, but got Falcon Kicked outside as well.

 

"You lose, JiMayo." He said as he and Lightsparrow came out from the hole in the wall. "You're outnumbered."

 

JiMayo looked around as several more soldiers encircled them. They were utterly surrounded.

 

"Oh yeeaahhhhh!!!"

 

Pohatu crashed from the upper story (somehow) riding the Kool-aid man. The Kool-aid mad crashed into Lightsparrow and tussled with him. Lightsparrow chucked the Kool-aid man into Pohatu and found JiMayo's blaster at his face. H e quickly removed his face from that location and unsheathed two prime cut-lasses from his back.

 

"You're wrong, you're always wrong." said JiMayo. "We're not outnumbered."

 

That was when the first Bread unit collapsed some troopers when it landed, and fired some sesame seeds at the outpost guards. Peuce 0 angrily slammed his staff into the wrong side of its neck and chopped the head clean off. "Go for the neck!" he snapped at the guards.

 

Suddenly, some bigger, more wheat-enriched Bread units starting destroying Pohatu's reprogrammed versions. With a , Pohatu flew into Ghidora and JiMayo.

 

"You know," a new voice called as a peuce figure landed besides them, "I think someone was eating chicken wings recently."

 

Peuce 0 frowned. "You weren't required, peuce 2."

 

"um, yes I was."

 

"no you weren't."

 

"Yes I was"

 

"No you weren't"

 

"Yes I was"

 

"No you weren't"

 

Something caught JiMayo's attention, a very obvious Matoran holding... Was that a briquette launcher?

 

The Matoran fired a Shockwave transformer toy which hit the ground and pushed everyone back. And then a terribly awful voice rang through the air - A voice that JiMayo knew could only be ToaST.

 

 

"ATTACK!!!"

 

ToaST Landed in a kneeling position in fron of the group. He suddenly realized he was bowing at Ghidora and went to attack the two peuce Turaga and Lightsparrow.  Ghidora and Pohatu attacked peuce 0, while ToaST and JiMayo felled peuce 2. JiMayo slammed his shield into peuce 2, sending him into the wall. He sputtered and tried to stand.

 

"NO STAND!" ToaST said as he walked up and pinned him down, slamming a T-bone sai into his chin. He grabbed the Turaga's risen sword and beheaded him, before kicking his body aside and burping at his head.

 

"You... "you just... Burped..." said JiMayo.

 

Suddenly, Ghidora landed beside them. Standing woozily, he placed peuce 0's wallet in his pocket before advancing on him again, for he was in a duel with Pohatu. He appeared to have a Vahki blade. Sending a smile to each other, JiMayo and ToaST attacked as well, throwing a knife in his shoulder and slamming him into the wall.

 

"He's mine." Said Ghidora, as he pushed the grand respectable general ToaST aside.

 

The Ga-Matoran stepped on peuce 0's stomach, holding him down as he slammed his sword breaker into his chest. He felt it hit his spine. Peuce 0 flailed his arms around and pushed him over, but not before Pohatu ran up and, with two of ToaST' throwing knives, embedded them in peuce 0's eye sockets, tilting them so that they pierced his empty head brain.

 

"Well," Poahtu said, leaning besides the fresh corpse, "that was exhilerating. Want to go get pizza?"

 

 

 

 

"You what?!"

 

Ehks, or as we like to yell at him, peuce 82, scowled at peuce 2 and peuce 0. "How could you die so quickly!  and at the hands of a Ga Matoran as well!"

 

"You two follow us." He snapped, turning to the Delusional Quadruplets. "Take them to the other peuce guy person character. Quisauce, come with me."

 

He stalked the hallways creepily before rounding a corner, and was frozen with shock as he heard a familiar voice.

 

"Hey there, Ehksmahboy."

 

Ehksmahboy turned to face the speaker - and the person next to the speaker set. "Vol-Tex." he sneered, spitting out as much saliva poison as he could.

 

"Maybe, yeah. What's happening with you?"

 

"Oh, just this." He signaled to Quisauce, who slammed into his head, brought him to his knees, and put two cylinders on him. He passed out as his fear of cylinders consumed him.

 

"Let's go." peuce 82 sneered. "we've got our prize."

Edited February 7, 2015 by ghidora131

[In Between the Shadows]

 

 

 ToaST Landed in a kneeling position in fron of the group. He suddenly realized he was bowing at Ghidora and went to attack the two peuce Turaga and Lightsparrow.

 

       

Edited February 7, 2015 by Shadow_Ignited