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TEXTERMINATION: Lives at steak


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Portalfig gulped as he entered a room filled with the peuce ones - peuce -4, peuce 2015, peuce 131, peuce fruo, peuce 5%, peuce #, peuce eleventy-seven, and peuce L. He shivered behind peuce eleventy-seven's chair and rocked it with his shivering.
Peuce 5% rocketed forwards and pointed at him. "WHAT WERE YOU EATING, HUH PUNK?!"
A large silence fell over the room.
By the time everybody had taken the massive silence off themselves, peuce -4 had shut everybody up. "The others will be here soon. We are nearing the final battle."
"B-but I like this comedy!" peuce 2015 said. Peuce -4 angrily shoved a sign in front of him that said 'NO FOURTH-WALL SHATTERING'.
Now, all of you will be fighting In it, and I want NO survivors. I shall be atop the coliseum..." peuce -4 said, a small smurf appearing on his face. "I am expecting a vis- OH SERIOUSLY NOT AGAIN!!!" he placed the smurf in the paper shredder.
Peuce 82 opened the doors to find peuce ten-tative and peuce 0.6 blabbing to each other - and not about pleasant things.
"Peuce 0... Peuce 2... What did you do this time?" peuce 0.6 said in disbelief.
"Zip it." peuce 82 said as he shoved Vol-Tex forwards, the delusional quadruplets fast asleep in a corner. They put a hoola-hoop around Vol-Tex, the cylinders on his wrists making him cower with fear. He was about to pass out from the stress of being that close. Vol-Tex whispered something insignificant, causing peuce ten-tative to step forwards and ask him what he said.
"What did you say?"
Vol-Tex ignored him and turned to peuce 82. "Why must you do this?" (insert sad song) "We've done so much... Been heroes... And you go and turn around, making eeevil and killing anyone who isn't a shriveled briquette."
Peuce ten-tative slammed his knee into Vol-Tex's chin, saying "I don't need any plot reminders, twit!"
Suddenly Ehks stepped in between.
"I may have done those things, and swore my allegiance to the peuce ones, and I may have even murdered a bunch of Karzed losers. But nobody calls MY disrespected dumpheap of a friend a twit." He slammed the hilt of his sword into peuce ten-tative's face, and kicked the cylinders off of Vol-Tex. Vol-Tex tripped peuce 0.6 and ran over to cower behind Ehks. "So, Ehks," he said, "it's about time... And I'm not a dumpheap."
Before Ehks could plan a comeback, the wall tore open and a Matoran, lousiness blazing, smashed peuce 0 in the face with a full power Falcon Punch. "Attack! uh, I mean ATTACK!!!"
Ehks saw the rest of the Matoran he knew pour in; Zakaro, Chro, Blade's corpse, Unit struggling under the weight of Blade's corpse, RG, Consumo, Valentine, Kaliente, and Smoked Ribs, all before Vol-Tex tackled him away from shotgun fire. "Listen," Vol-Tex said, "I need you to crash this ship. Breaks the controls, you know, that sort of thing. I'm after peuce ten-tative."
"Right-o," Ehks said, and carefully eyed peuce 2. Behind him was the controls. "Oh, come and get me... Ehksmahboy XD" he taunted.
As soon as Ehks flew through the air and swung his sword, peuce 2 sliced through his arm. With a cry of http://nooooooooooooooo.com/, he fell to the ground, whimpering.


"Not so special anymore, huh?" peuce 2 said as he came and raised his sword. "Too bad there;s no one with a shotgun to conveniently come sav-"






Peuce 2's corpse fell to the ground, devoid of an ugly face that was there. Quisauce barrel-rolled the shotgun and helped Ehks up. "I have been working for the peuce ones for years, but I never unleashed my true form."





Ehks frowned and stood, grabbing the sword with his other hand as peuce 2, devoid of a face(no matter how ugly), moaned and groaned until Ehks stabbed him through the head. The computers he was lying on sparked and blared loud annoying rock music. He came to Vol-Tex and said "We need to get out of here. There's a bunker in the generator room, we can go there."






Peuce ten-tative slammed into Vol-Tex, sending him into the room next door - the generator room. Go figure. Anyways, the gravity systems shut off, and Kestora began pouring in around them. Vol-Tex killed one after Undersauce and turned to talk to Blade's corpse.


"Listen, we've got to get out of here! get people in the bunker, and spread the word about Ehks coming back!"


The muffled sound of Unit replying in a girly pitch sounded very strange, but Vol-Tex didn't even have time to worry. Peuce ten-tative and peuce 0.6 attacked him and Consumo. With a nod, both Consumo and him attacked, Consumo catching the tip of his massive fork on both peuce 0.6's face and a Kestora. As for peuce ten-tative, he got a knife to the throat and then a sword to the neck by Vol-Tex.


Peuce 0 suddenly sprung forward, floating through the air and whappig everyone he saw. Consumo, Ehks, and Unit struggling under the weight of Blade eventually made it to the bunker, yanking Vol-Tex in as well. Everyone else was already in there - Except Zakaro.


"YODA!!! uh, ZAKARO!!!" Unit's high-pitch voice shrieked. Zakaro chucked the peuce Turaga in and then crawled in himself. The doors decided to crush peuce 0's head, then again, then again, then again...


They saw TXS playing with the door switch. They got him away from it and closed the doors. Before long the bunker shattered off, and Vol-Tex spared a worried glance at Blade's corpse before everything went peuce black.




Ehksmahboy - er, Ehks - was sitting when he woke up, Vol-Tex plopped down beside him. "Well, let's end this party with a bang, shall we?"



Blade's corpse, with Unit behind it, muffled out something about asparagus.\



To be continued.

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Shadow of the doomed and deceased ignited into flames of scorching agony - er, Glazed - was watching all the incredible amounts of very boring nothing that had been going on for the last three days. Still, it was kind of nice, if you could get past the smell of overcooked chicken. But soon enough Chambliss had run up to her, and In no time was karting down every plot-important place before arriving at an old abandoned power plant on the edge of town.


"Very... Cliché." Glazed said as her nausea caught up to her. She stumbled out into the building before coming upon a "throne", or a gold-painted used toilet. Seated upon it was Luroka.


"It's about time." He snapped. "Listen, you have to warn your comrades of the battle to come - it will occur at the coliseum."


Before waiting for a response, he quickly ripped his shoulder armour off and tossed it to her, then patched it up with a steak.


"It is endowed with some of my life force." He said. "Put it on, and if you ever need to come back, call out with your mind. Obi-wan keno- uh, I will bring you back."


"Okay then," She turned to blissifulCham Chambliss. "Well, we read to go?"


Chambliss bowed, and with his right hand, gestured to another Kart. She groaned.




Vol-Tex and JiMayo walked along a long series of hallways until they reached a door. "It's a door." Vol-Tex said. "whoopdee-doo, a door."


"Oh, look at me," He said, sarcastically waving his arms about. "I wasted all my time that I Could have had helping my dying friends by finding a stupid door!"


JiMayo slapped him to get him to be quiet. "It's something behind the door." So saying, he facepalmed in front of the door, and it opened.


As soon as Vol-Tex walked in, his mouth hung open. JiMayo put a French fry in it. "These two war mecha are the moistest powerful everz!!!"


Jimayo gestured to the light pink one with bunny ears and flower imprints. "This is yours, the flying cylinder, and the oth-"


"C...C...C...C...C...C...Cylinder?!" Vol-Tex stammered before JiMayo slapped him again. "It's just the name, okay?"


Vol-Tex rubbed his sore cheek and glared angrily at the Matoran who would dare slap his most royal highness him.


"And mine," JiMayo said, "is the Iron Warhead. It's super awesome, it has totally cool firepower, it can withstand any weapon at all-"


"Urm, but they can both fly, hehe." JiMayo said as he stepped aside. "So, what are you going to do with yours?"


"I think i'll kill peuce -4." He said, then he noticed that the only weapon was a Kool-aid Cannon. "...Maybe...?"





Down below, everything was chaos. Taco Nuiva stood from her lookout platform, observing the chaos. She found the chaos very chaos-y.


"iiiiiiiiiiiis something wrong, Taco?" ToaST interrupted with a grin.


"We should be down there helping!" She snapped. "All of us just stand here and wait."


Suddenly, Kaliente's communicator started beeping. He answered it quick.


We need backup down here! peuce ones have arrived!


"That's our cue-"


Suddenly, an explosion rocked everyone back as a peuce figure landed and chucked Kaliente off the ledge. Vinylstep shrugged and jumped off the ledge.


ToaSt and Quisauce suddenly jumped off the ledge and ran for their lives. In an attempt to kill the puece one who had landed, Ellitra had stabbed herself in the chest.


"Hi, I'm peuce #," peuce # said before kicking Taco Nuiva down the three foot drop into the arena.





Portalfig raced to find peuce eleventy-seven. He finally found him; his mind convinced that he would fight the rebellion. He ran across RG and knocked him unconscious instantly. Then he saw Letagi and Blade's corpse fighting peuce eleventy-seven. He dashed up and shot Blade's corpse, which of course did nothing. He then kicked Letagi into the wall.


"Good yayz!" peuce eleventy-seven said. "Kill him, Tavvy."


Sudenly, a pink mech appeared six feet in the air; Vol-Tex was inside. "hint hint, bub - that's the bad guy." He said before flipping on the skull-painted faceplate with bunny ears before rocketing off into the sky.


Good point. He thought.


Letting out a battleyelp, he charged and beheaded peuce eleventy-seven before he could let out a single yayz. He heard a clapping sound behind him, as RG had risen to his feet.


"Dude, you were all like 'raaarg'! We should do this more oft-"


A blade appeared through his neck. Shrugging, he dropped to the ground, dead. Behind him, Lightsparrow cleaned the ketchup blood off of his knife. "Well well, looks as though I'm too awesome for yah."


He was about to move forwards and be too awesome for him when another mech, a cool looking one, landed and popped the hatch.


JiMayo smiled. "Goodbye, Lightsparrow." He shot two plot lasers at him and he vanished instantly.


He turned around and said "Duck." before firing a series of bullets that tore peuce 131 apart.


"Now, let's go kill some peoples!"




"Where are you taking me?!" peuce fruo angrily shouted. Agent 263 didn't respond, just glared at him as she texted on her iphone.


Agent 263 to contort


peuce fruo captive, heading to Vol-Tex and peuce -4. Request to understand what the Karz I'm doing.


Three second later, they replied.


Contort to Agent 263


Good, continue as planned. Request denied, it's not like we know.


She put away the iphone, grumbling something about leedurship.





Portalfig walked along with JiMayo, many other Matoran had joined them by then. They stopped to glance at the body of peuce 2015 before dodging a close attack by peuce 5%.


Suddenly, ToaST shoved him, Xareas stunned him, Portalfig sliced his knee and ToaST stabbed him in the chin. With a groan, he collapsed on the ground.


"Well, that was... Fun." Portalfig said as a crash appeared behind him. The bandicoot was immediately flattened by the flying Cyrix, Aiwendil landing on him. Peuce # came into view, kicking the repulsive Ghidora away and whacking Pohatu over the head. Smoked Ribs dashed forwards and did what about every other person there could have done but decided not to. He grabbed his whip and pulled it away, as Portalfig stabbed him with Ghidora's sword breaker.


"No.. You can't..." peuce # stuttered.


"Um, yes we can." Smoked ribs said before giving him a fatal chiropractic treatment. Portalfig backed away as the annoyed Ghidora retrieved his sword breaker.


"The only remaining peuce ones are -4 and fruo." JiMayo said. "And they're both at the top of the coliseum."




Vol-Tex landed his craft on the top of the coliseum, glaring at peuce -4.


"Here we are." peuce -4 said. "It's just like old times; two leaders clashing together for the final time."



                                                                                                                                                                         To be continued.

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CHAPTER 9 (finaleeeeee)ee






Taco Nuiva stood in the group of supposed leaders as they argued who was better, looking over a list of the dead.


"No, but I am!" Xareas said.


"Nuh-uh, it's a me!" ToaST replied.


"it's me!"


"it's me!"

"it's me!"


"it's me!"


"STAHP IT YOU TWITS!!!" Taco Nuiva shriekeded. "It's enough we're fighting a war, let's not kill each other behind the scenes!"


"Um..." Portalfig replied. "Who is left alive?"


"Wait a sec- Vol-Tex!" Taco pointed to the top of the coliseum.





Agent 263 was about to end this nonsense when suddenly she got a message.


Attention to al agents


Get ready for the attack. Kill all remaining peuce ones and watch out for the sunlight.


"Um..." peuce fruo said as Agent 263 aimed a sniper rifle at his head. "Say, is that a sniper rif-"







Vol-Tex watched as he faced down peuce -4, eyes gleaming for some reason.


That was when peuce -4 shifted is right hand into a weapon of Vol-Tex shattering capability. "A CYLINDER!!!" Vol-Tex screamed. "Yes, but it's moar than that..." He lifted it up so Vol-Tex could see it better. Then, he realized what it was. A secret project the peuce ones had been working on for many years, after the development of the hot sauce launcher. It was the dreaded.-


"The Better Butter Blaster." peuce -4 said. "Like it? I customized it after getting inspiration from a salt shaker, a hamster, and a eucalyptus leaf. Don't ask me how they got together." Suddenly he charged and ripped the arm off of Vol-Tex's suit. Before Tex could react, he was kicked and girly slapped, paralyzing him. "Now do you remember who you are? Because you'll soon see who I am..."


He pulled a small smurf off of his shoulder and crushed it, sending blood streaming down his arm. Suddenly, his body color changed into green, orange and magenta. "And you thought I was peuce the whole Karzed time, hahaha!" peuce -4 screamed. He then pulled his mask off, revealing one that was exactly the same as Vol-Tex's.


"No... You- you're me?" Vol-Tex said finally.


"Oh, even more that you, you worm. You see, I was in control of every situation from the very beginning. And you, you are a Vol-Tex from an alternate dimension, where you killed and scoffed your miserable friends. But I was here from the very beginning..." peuce -4 leaned in so close that Vol-Tex could smell his miserable breath.


"I... Am your father iSocket."


Vol-Tex gasped. For some odd reason added in right now because the writers were too bored to come up with a good plot, It all made sense in some inexplicable way! But then Agent 263 aimed a gun at the back of iSocket's head. "Stahp, drahp and die."


iSocket wait about a minute before jumping off the side of the coliseum, screaming "YOLO" until he hit the ground hard. Agent 263 helped Vol-Tex up. "We won."





Shadow of the doomed and deceased ignited into flames of scorching agony - you know, Glazed - was watching Vol-Tex and Agent 263 arrive from the coliseum stairs. "Tex! we did it! we- LOOK OUT!!!"


JiMayo lunged forwards and tackled Vol-Tex, a blast of sweet & sour hitting Tasty in between the shoulder blades. With a burp, the hot sauce hat eaten clean through him.


"TASTY!!!" JiMayo yelled. He whirled around to face the loser who arrived suddenly. "YOU DARE?!"


The figure tripped off of the rubble it stood on and fell on its face. Three more characters landed beside him. "Hello, I am contort. We-wyahh!" He suddenly spiraled into the air and fell on his back. With a grunt, he stood again. "ah yes. Now, this loser on my left is Aeron. To his left is Kayn. To his right is Aeron again. To my right is Sunlight. Surrender, join us or die."


Makuta batman Luroka, we need a help here! Glazed said. We're-a gonna die!





Vol-Tex got up as Contort's arm twisted backwards and a pain-filled "ATTACK! OW!" came from his mouth.




Kaliente tackled Tex suddenly, but before he could react, Zakaro shot him in deh face. "I was never really working for you, punk." Unit, carrying Blade's corpse still, flung a deceased arm at Vol-Tex and knocked him back. As he got up again, he saw the survivors closing into a circle - Portalfig, Xareas, JMJ, JiMayo, Glazed, TXS, Vinylsauce, Chro and the now-dropped Blade's corpse.


"Surrender or you must die."


"We would rather die, you backflipping imbecile!" Xareas snorted.


"Very well. Sunlight, do your worst." contort said, as his neck spun around suddenly.


Sunlight stepped forwards, and suddenly Glazed screamed. Sunlight stopped and looked at her. "Oh hey, it worked." She said, following it up with a :bigsmile:. Suddenly, a shadow kidney spiraled out of her shoulder and grabbed every Matoran it could.




Vol-Tex woke up in front of an old abandoned steakhouse. A Le-Matoran was leaning against the wall, looking lazy. "Yes, you're back. Oof. Chambliss, get me some tea."


Chambliss raced out with a nice herbal mix, and Luroka gulped it down. Immediately, nothing happened. Chambliss pulled him back inside.


"Wait, where's Chro and Blade's corpse?" said Vol-Tex. "Where's Vynilsauce?!"


"They didn't make it, nitwit." Luroka called from inside.


"That's it?" said JiMayo. "Just seven people and two losers? that's it?!"


Vol-Tex fell on his back and looked at the sky. Pohatu, Chro and all the rest... Dead in an instant.

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Shadow of the doomed and deceased ignited into flames of scorching agony - Glazed, of course - was plugging her ears with her fingers as to not hear the annoying argument between Luroka and Xareas... It had gone on for a good hour now.


Xareas pointed his grubby finger in Letagi's face and said "You are a dead! you know dat!... Right? or did you not get the memo?"


Luroka slumped in his chair once again. "Well, I'm alive now, punk, so deal with it." He slapped some glasses on.


"I DON'T CARE!!!" Xareas randomly said to Glazed before storming out of the building, pausing long enough to glare at Chambliss who didn't do anything. Glazed sighed and walked over to TXS.


"Any clue where Vol-Tex and Portalfig went?"


TXS stared out the conveniently placed window into the empty barren streets. "No idea, really. Went to go have some sort of a talk, I suppose. Too bad we left Ehks behind. And Ghidora."


Glazed stared out into the sunset, before realizing TXS didn't have a clue who Ghidora was.



Vol-Tex and Portalfig sat on the ground near a massive skyscraper, tattered and burned by beef bazooka shots. No one even knew what it had been anymore. Portalfig tried to say something poetically and politically correct, but only came out with elephant puns, so he was incredibly surprised when Vol-Tex started talking.


"There's something on my neck, would you get it off?"


"You mean that pesky head?" Portalfig said with a :P


Vol-Tex frowned. "Nooooo, just - Look, would you please?" Portal reached up and pulled something off of his neck(not his head).


"What was it?" Tex asked, unsure.


Portalfig crushed it in his hand. "Oh, just a coupon for mega Letagi's super barbeque. Why?"


"I hate that place..." Vol-Tex said, and created another silence gap, while Portal thought(for once). Suddenly, he jumped up and said "THAT'S IT!!!", scaring the daylights out of Tex.


"My ears! Gah, what now, Portalfig?!" He said as he gripped the sides of his head.


"I Mean," Fig continued, "That we should Attack the coliseum one last time and kill ourselves fruitlessly."



Vol-Tex gave a hearty grin, and brushed away the hearts. "Then we formulate a plan with the others, and strike Contort one last time."






Ehks walked up to the coliseum once more, undoubtedly the last time. Ghidora was being helped along by Chro, while Pohatu raced around him calling him 'Ghiddy' to infuriate him. As they came up to the gate, Zakaro and Unit met the group and Zakaro slammed his hand over Unit's mouth to prevent him from pretending to sound awesome.


"You can die, die or die. Oh, and you can also die. Your choice."


Ehks stepped forwards. "Oh, I'll take option number 2."


With that, Zakaro flipped around and dragged Ghidora away. Unit smacked Chro with a girly slap, knocking him out. Then, Contort and Sunlight conveniently appeared. "Here's-a how it's-a gonna work, okie-day?" Contort said before suddenly twisting his wrist around. "You will be killed off day by day. Today, Ghidora dies."


Zakaro released Ghidora as Pohatu cried out in protest, but Sunlight had fired before anyone could save him. Ghidora hit the ground, avoiding the blast. Annoyed, Sunlight rained down blast after blast watching Ghidora dodged them all like a boss - but one of the blasts hit the wall, knocking a very tiny piece of gravel off, slowly floating through midair and bumping Ghidora's head. With a wail he flew through the air, landed besides the unconscious Chro and was dead.


"Now, the Brown one." Contort said as Sunlight mistook the obviously peuce Ehks for Pohatu and fired at him. The blast tore away his left leg, but peuce armour was made to withstand that stuff and be awesome and all. He stumbled around, taking hit after hit, until he landed beside Blade's corpse.


"I heard... Vol-Tex and you are good friends." He hoarsely rasped out.


"Yeah, you're a friend too" a high-pitched Consumo voice said from behind it as it floppily waived its arms in the air.



The final blast hit him rectangle in the back, tearing a hole through his chest - but he still smiled.



He knew pizza peace at last.

Edited by Ghidora131
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  • 7 months later...

I've been lazy far too long. The next chapter is here!


Textermination: Chapter 11




Agent 263 sneakily sneaked into the specified room and nearly vomited in hate at the sight. Inside were a bunch of Matoran chained to chairs, unable to do anything as they were forced to watch yoga.


And they were all farmers.


Suddenly the door swung wide open, and Contort stepped in, ignoring the feeling his ankle was going to break. "Ah, milady, you decided to show up after all! haha!" Sunlight and Kayn waltzed in, the former carrying the struggling Letagi in his arm. "Now here are the options: Letagi dies. Okay, get it over with!"


"NUH-UH!!!" Agent 263 shouted, grabbing Letagi and throwing him out a window. "Why did you do that?!" he screamed as he pulled broken bits of glass out of his back.


"You... Remind me of a window! now GO!" She yelled back as Kayn ran right past her and into a wall. Contort ripped his mask off to reveal that he was Tekulo, but nobody cared. Sunlight didn't like windows and shot Agent 263 in the front of her back. She collapsed onto the street and was dead.






Vol-Tex angrily kicked the dirt whilst Portalfig searched Agent 263's pockets. "Why? she's dead now. What can stop Contort?"


"Wellllllllllllllllllll," Portalfig said obnoxiously, "Alternate dimensions and stuff, so maybe-"


"SHUT UP ALREADY!!!" Tex screamed and fell on the ground.




Vol-Tex saw peuce -4. "Hey Tex."


"Hi. Wassup?"




"Okay. Bye."


"Mm... Bye."




Chro and JMJ ran at each other, roaring in combat. Then they both were a dead.


A new blossom felt within him, maybe he shouldn't have gone vegan.


Because FEAR.




"Snap out of it!"


Xareas girly slapped Vol-Tex so hard he knocked him into last week. After going through last week's events again, he finally got to where he was to avoid the slap. "okay okay okay stop! don't hit me!"


"Tex," TXS said, grumpily glaring at Xareas while he grabbed Vol-Tex by the shoulders and walked off with him. "Listen. I know you're falling apart. But help us, now, when we most need you. Get us in there, wipe out Contort, and win the day yayz. And if we win, if i'm still alive after that, i promise to get you a coke. Deal?"




"So," he grinned disturbingly, "what's the plan?"


Vol-Tex grinned. "We get in there, and kill ourselves pointlessly."


Xareas stood up. "Now that's a plan i- Wait, what?"








Taco Nuiva woke at the sound of food, only to realize it was her name. She glared at letagi. "I was sleeping!"


"Oh, forgive me, your majesty," Letagi spat with a side of sarcasm. "But i thought you wouldn't want to be in a cell forever- stinking key! come on!"


He slammed the obviously oversized key into the lock until the door broke down. "Well... Doors are inefficient anyways. Come on!"


Rounding the corner, they ran into Quisauce. Behind him was a tall robot in dark black and McDonald's red armour, followed by...


"Pulse?" Taco said, a little shocked.


"The one and only! i got survived after i was shot, until i was dragged into here. But thanks to Quisauce and his Maxilunch robot, i'm free!"


"Well," Taco Nuiva said, grinning. "Let's give Contort the soup-rice of his life."

Edited by Ghidora131
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  • 5 months later...

Chapter 11.2




So as you all may know, My life is extremely busy/boring and I don't get time to write that much. Plus I also have to run a group of immature tweens who hate the daylights out of me, so there's that too. And yes, it's been half a year and the final chapter is not out yet.


...So, in case anybody actually still reads this, go read the last portion of chapters in EXTERMINATION once more, because TEXTERMINATION'S COMING BACK.





Even though it's only like one or two more chapters but who cares

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Chapter 12




JiMayo trailed at the back of the group as they entered the re-decorated arena - It had been mauled by Earth Day enthusiasts, and was now nothing more than something. Vol-Tex and Xareas walked in front, leading the group towards the coliseum that was directly up ahead. In between was Luroka, TXS, Chambliss, Shadow of the doomed and deceased Ignited into flames of scorching agony, Portalfig and JMJ.


"Now remember." Vol-Tex said. "Uh... I forgot. Nevermind."


JiMayo facepalmed along with the others as Vol-Tex stepped inside, soon followed by the others.


"Lol, you came." Contort said suddenly. "Come a little closer, please - I twist."


As  Contort twisted in pain, JiMayo felt a barrel pressed against his back. Zakaro shrugged and pushed the barrel forwards, making Vol-Tex cower in fear at the sight of a cylinder. "By now you've probably realized you're in a trap," Contort said, taking off his helmet. "You're stupid."


"Tekulo?" Vol-Tex groaned. "You're Contort?"


"Yeah, duh- Okay hold it. My name's Tendurlo. Like, read the first chapter, writer. You've been misspelling it this whole time!!" Tendurlo frowned. "Oh, and you're stupid, Tex."


Makuta Luroka started shaking suddenly, before bursting out laughing in hilarity. Chambliss leaned over and shouted "HIGH FIVE BRO", to which Luroka responded with a high five. It was so awesome that Chambliss died from overexposure to pure awesomeness.


"You see?" Tendurlo laughed. "You are too stupid. Too confident that your allies are truly your friends. And it has led you here - to your decimation. Welcome to Super Mario Galaxy!"


"Indeed," Luroka grinned. "That- wait... What?"


"Who cares." Tendurlo frowned. "Time to die."


That was when the blue wall blew apart beautifully. Rubble rained down on them as everyone in the room shuddered at the loss of the beautiful blue wall; agents tumbled down from the second story as a towering robot stepped through the broken beautiful blue wall, the Cornsnack Launcher on its shoulder reloading.


No, JiMayo thought. That's... Quite idiotic, actually.


He watched in awe as he recognized the freaks leading the robot inside. Taco Nuiva, Quisauce, Pohatu, Vinylsauce...


An orange and white Matoran caught his attention.


"Pulse?!" He screamed in disbelief.


"We told you something earlier!" Taco shouted, looking around in slight confusion. "Here we are! Fite me m80!"


"THUMB TACK!!!" Vol-Tex shrieked.


JiMayo saw the Matoran dive for Tendurlo as the forces of contortionists swarmed around them; across the hall, Taco Nuiva and Quisauce led the charge of what appeared to be nearly seven Matoran pouring into the room. JiMayo turned towards Luroka, who shrugged and slightly bumped him, sending him flying. The Ta-Matoran collapsed as he collapsed to the ground, pushing a pair of feet out of the way as he activated his Mega Man X Zero energy sword as the coliseum shuddered at the sight of it. He stabbed an agent in the knee and then ducked a goose before stabbing three more knees.


His Bionifail training did something for once as he beat everyone around him to a (strawberry) pulp, until he recognized a familiar face.


"Hello there, JiMayo." Zakaro said calmly, swinging his sword until it flew out of his hand and landed through Valendale's arm. "Hau are you?"


JiMayo strode forwards, glaring angrily. "Better believe it's butter."


"That's a bold claim." Zakaro sneered. "Let's test that theory, shall we?"


The Onu-Matoran lunged forwards at a snail's pace. Before JiMayo could care, Zakaro had knocked the energy sword from his hands. JiMayo dove to the side to avoid a girly slap, swiftly tearing a knife away from a corpse and using it to pathetically dodge the next slap. Calculating brilliantly, JiMayo decided to hand Zakaro the blade, who after staring at it for a few seconds, jabbed it into JiMayo's gut.


"Your life is boring!"


The Ta-Matoran's eyes began to fade as he collapsed against the remains of the wall of Mega Letagi's Super Barbecue. "Lol, you shoulda seen the look on your face-"


"Yours is UGLY!!"


JiMayo watched as Xareas sucker punched Zakaro's mask into splinters. The Matoran of Iron reached forwards and grabbed Zakaro by the back of the neck. "I have wanted to kill you for so long. Ever since you disliked conferences, I knew the sky was up! I knewo you couldn't be trusted, you SPINELESS PINE TREE!!!"


With a mighty squeak, Xareas ripped the body right off of Zakaro's spine. Talk about inexperienced Chiropractics. He tossed it aside and glared at JiMayo.


"Don't call me Shirley."


Seconds later, JiMayo rolled his eyes for the final time.






Voltex gripped the flaming prime cut-lass of Burnribs as he and Blade's corpse advanced towards Tendurlo, stepping over the corpse of Unit, who Blade had just slain... Somehow. The coliseum shuddered with the awfulness of this comedy.


"Wondering what that is?" Voltex said. "It's me. Peuce -4 planted bombs inside the building linked to his A Link To The Past direct copy, which means it's linked to me."


"Uh-huh, sure." Tendurlo laughed. "I should have suspected it. It's a real shame..."


"Say what now?"


"The fact that you're gonna be a dead," He chuckled. "The idea of having two of you to torment with my sick dance moves is beautiful... But, the Sunlight will depart when you die. It's a real shame, I know..."


"I.... Frankly don't care." Vol-Tex said in confusion.


"Who would."


The contorting Matoran twisted forwards suddenly, killing the already deceased Blade. Before Voltex had even realized Blade was already dead from beforehand, he had sliced through Tendurlo's midsection. The Matoran continued to contort even after death, as the wall of the coliseum exploded, revealing an elevator filled with hallways. Vol-Tex squinted to counteract his poor eyesight when he saw Sunlight prancing through it, with several Matoran chasing madly after: Rider, carrying a sliding Waluigi - Vinylsauce, guzzling down awesomesauce - Pulse, whose pulse had risen to new levels - Consumo, who was imagining Sunlight being roasted - Xareas, who angrily respelled his name Xareaz, the way it was supposed to be spelled - And Portalfig, who looked aside at Vol-Tex and nearly tripped.


I'm coming for dinner, he thought. But first...


He stuck out his arms, and from some random garbage piles in the coliseum, several cylindrical pieces of pink metal started speeding towards him...






Shadow of the doomed and deceased Ignited into flames of scorching agony - Ugh, you get the hint by now - found herself fighting alongside Chro, TXS and the robot calling itself Maxilunch. "WHERE ARE YOU, MAKUTA BATMAN?!" TXS shrieked, spinning madly and repeatedly slicing through a prearranged pile of masks.


"Maxilunch, where did he go?" Chro grumpily asked.


"Standing right in front of you. Beep boop. Proceeded with caution, master Luke. Boop beep."


"Well, do something!" Glazed snapped.


Maxilunch complied, firing several Cornsnack blasts into the air for no reason. Luroka watched in confusion as Chro and Kayn ran up and killed each other instantly. "Erm... You're mine, Glazed. Kneel or go to Paris!"


"No, lol."


As he strode forward to attack, JMJ and Smoke spat two peashooters at the back of his head. In fury and rage, he turned around to pay attention to them, making a fatal mistake- Glazed stabbed her blade through the makuta and brought it straight up, picking the makuta off of the ground. Lightning arced out from the palm of Maxilunch's hand, as he played a prerecorded message of an old man shouting something about power.






Vol-Tex tripped over Pulse as he skipped happily down the spooky hallway in his Flying Cylinder armour. "Ow... Don't mind me." Pulse groaned, angry for almost being stepped on. "I'm just living life in my dreary existence... Yawn."


Vol-Tex let out a sigh of disappointment, glancing at the hundreds in the one elevator. "Hey - Go and fight in the Coliseum. Away from Sunlight. He's deadly, and we might not walk away... I want you to have that chance. o walk. Y'know? It's the thing where you use your legs..."


"But if you die..."


"Talk to Taco Nuiva. I got bored, and I put her in charge, for no good reason. Seeya m80."


With that confusing assembly of words, he darted down into the elevator once more, riding it straight to the top.




As he reached the top, he flipped around for no good reason, landing right besides the others as they dueled Sunlight. "Glad you could join us!" Xareaz shouted as he dodged a blast of hot sauce.


Rolling his eyes, Vol-Tex locked swords with Sunlight before he could slice Portalfig into fig newtons. The Onu-Matoran kicked the hot sauce launcher up to knock it off-aim, but was swatted away right before hot sauce was fired into Consumo's chest, his scythe swinging madly off of the high ledge right before whatever was left of him followed it.


Rider rode a sliding Waluigi around Sunlight until Xareaz was thrown into him, the Waluigi sliding off of walls and finally burying itself into Vinylsauce's chest. Sunlight shot hot sauce directly into Vinyl's face, sending the poor Matoran flying off of the platform as the Waluigi cried out in despair.


Rider recovered quickly, sliding on another Waluigi at break-neck speeds until he missed Sunlight completely and went flying to his doom. Xareaz got hit in the foot with the ever tasty hot sauce, sending hi flying into Vol-Tex and shoving them both off the platform.












"...Um, final words? nothing?"


Xareaz rolled his eyes and ripped out his own heartlight, before giving Vol-Tex a brief description of his will and then crumbling away, as the nom-ing of the hot sauce ate right through him. With the disgusting burp in the background, Vol-Tex slipped the heartlight into a part of his armour and shut his helmet, looking up at the platform and beginning his ascent.


This is it, he thought for once. For Burnribs... Xareaz... Tasty... I'm going to kill you.






He landed on a snare drum as Portalfig was launched to his side. Sunlight chuckled with a slight gasp for breath, and began to sing:


"Somewhere, over the rainbow..."


"What the kerfluffles?" Vol-Tex cocked his head in confusion.


Sunlight grinned maliciously. "You don't watch old movies, do you? Just like the original, I suppose..."


Vol-Tex glanced at Portalfig with a look of disgust on his face as Sunlight slowly walked forwards, before stopping as Portal tensed.


"In my world, you were dying. The only way I could save you was to leave, go throughout the entire multiverse, ask every single one of you a pointless question I already know the answer to, and then kill you heartlessly because that solves everything."


Vol-Tex pulled Burnribs' sword from its resting place in the ground. "You won't kill me."


"Haha... You say that every time, and I always do, because you're so weak. So, do you really think you can kill me, Vol-Tex?"


"Insert dramatic statement."


Vol-Tex charged, swinging the flaming prime cut-lass at Sunlight, who promptly caught it, spun daintily, and embedded it right through the Flying Cylinder - and Tex's stomach. He groaned and fell to his knees as Sunlight cackeled maliciously and pulled back her hood.


"T... Taco Nuiva?" Vol-Tex garbled out.


"From another world have I come," She said, aiming her hot sauce launcher. "I have journeyed across the dis toast, son - across the bog rock candy mountains - even through time itself and I always come out disappointed in you. You're less than a nobody, you're a... Um... Not-Somebody. Goodbye, Vol-Tex."


That was when Portalfig slung a scoop of super cold ice cream at the center of Sunlight's back. Voltex stood as he struggeled to stay awake.


Come on, you can do this... If they all died before you, avenge yourself, even though that makes no sense.


"Portalfig, piggyback ride!"


Portalfig hesitated in confusion for a moment before piggybacking the Flying Cylinder as Vol-Tex flew into the air and thought about explosions. Suddenly the upper third of the coliseum blew apart, and Sunlight went tumbling downwards amidst the overused food jokes and bad grammar. Portalfig let go of Vol-Tex and kicked off of a large piece of troublesome rubble to finish the final fight in the air.






Taco Nuiva had been fighting alongside Pohatu and Quisauce, Pohatu wielding a warhammer and Quisauce relying on a shotgun, while Taco Nuiva carried a taco shell with a razor blade stuck in the middle, which somehow magically deflected bullets. They had done just dandy until they ran across ToaST and Cyrix.


ToaST had Cyrix keep Quisauce busy as he challenged both Taco Nuiva and Pohatu. He smacked the diminutive Matoran aside and threw a dead scorpion at him. Instantly the Australian hero had a heart attack and died. "So simple; so easy! To think that Ghidora and Ehks paid their lives so he could just be murdered later. Pathet-"


Taco Nuiva pulled a Captain America and threw her shield, deflecting it against several pieces of rubble with blinding speed, and two seconds after it returned to her again ToaST broke into a pile of neatly cut body parts.


"Taco!" Quisauce said as he repeatedly bashed Cyrix with the shotgun instead of shooting him like a sane person. She threw her shield and completely missed, hitting the shotgun which fired into Cyrix's face. "Heh. Nobody betrays the Delusional Quadruplets and lives to gloat about it."


Quisauce pushed himself up and was about to say we did it and start dancing around like Dora the Explorer, but an arrow suddenly hit him in the knee. Collapsing into Taco's arms, he quietly shoved her the shotgun and said "Seeing me give you this shotgun... It fills you with DETERMINATION." Then he was dead.


"That'll never be a popular phrase." Aeron sneered in disgust. "Seriously though, goodbye."


Taco fired first, completely missing him again. Out of ammo, she replied in disgust. "You're a waste. Of life. Even though that doesn't make any sense, I mean, it's not like life's a finite resource until it starts."


Growling, Aeron never noticed the shield bouncing repeatedly behind him until it had carved straight through his back.






Vol-Tex - or iSocket - or Peuce -4, who even cares anymore - tumbled through the sky as his armour began to die. Blasting off chunks of rubble, watching the duel go, He then noticed they'd be in trouble - the ground wasn't too far below.


"PORTAL 3!!" He screamed.


He jutted forwards and snatched Portalfig as they plummed... 4 feet...


2 feet...


3 feet...


Uh... 6 feet...


How can I not count...


He flipped so he would land on his back - with Portal underneath him. He slipped on the Matoran and went flying into a pile of rubble, his vision fading.






Portal crawled up from under a pile of destroyed Bread units, gasping for breath and grasping for Burnribs' sword. Sunlight was waiting atop the pile like a jerk, and met each attack with a pure happiness blade.


"You know, in my world, we're good friends" She chuckled nervously. "We could be friends here too."


"Nope. It's just Chuck Testa." Portal snapped, and lunged forwards in one final attempt to take out the villain.


Accidentally, Agent 263's device plopped from his pocket and he stepped on it. Sunlight was distracted as her Ipod activated, at top volume. She screamed as she frnatically turned it down, not even noticing her arm had been sliced off at the elbow. She tumbled down off of the wreckage as Portalfig picked up the hot sauce launcher and jumped down, landing in a disgruntled heap.


"Nobody can die for good where I come from. They always keep reviving, never stopping... And they are super boring. I mean, I couldn't get any real friends, had to get stuck with undead-not-undead people."


"What was it you told Vol-Tex?" Portalfig said. "That he would be killed, never to come back, never to play his Wii U again?"


Sunlight started in confusion. "Say what-"


"That is what I declare." He cleared his throat. "I declare that in the name of Lesov- I mean Lhikevikk, Burnribs, Xareaz, and all the others who were allergic to hot sauce, that your punishment is to eat some yourself."


"You won't." She snarled. "The Portalfig of my world wouldn't do it. He was too cowardly."


"Yeah, but guess what?" He leaned forwards slightly.






As the John Cena theme played, he shot her in the chest with delicious dipping material, and as the hot sauce chomped and slurped up her body, he reached forwards and yanked her mask off. He stood there for a few minutes, as the music began to loop obnoxiously, before glancing at his new mask and then up at the coliseum.



It was over, finally.

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  • 2 months later...




Portalfig sat on a pile of rubble and dead farmers as he surveyed the death and happiness all around him. There were too many people still alive - about thirty - and it was making him claustrophobic. If he counted the unaware Maxilunch unit, that would make four. This robot had proven itself plot-important and basically unkillable by any side character, and after destroying the beautiful blue wall proved himself incredibly inconsiderate.

Undercover most of the war, Portal only knew some of the Matoran survivors around him. These were Pulse, TXS, Taco Nuia (the tasty one), JMJ, Shadow of the doomed and deceased ignited into flames of scorching agony, Smoked Ribs, Letagi and Valentine (albeit with a sword decoratively placed in the flesh of the elbow).

"Are you really feeling it?"

Taco Nuiva sat down, Xenoblade music dancing in her head, the sound of an unfortunate farmer squishing far below. "As good as anyone else, I guess."

"Most everyone is dead."

"Oh. Not as good as anyone, then..."

"Vol-Tex hasn't cared much since the battle ended." She continued, "But... He did tell me who Sunlight was. I'm glad you killed her."

He tried, and failed, to conceal a very overconfident grin. "Yes, thank you," He beamed. "If I didn't, she probably would have gotten away with the next best thing to John Cena."

"That is stupid."

Finding it too awkward to say anything, Portal was glad to see Letagi walk up, plopping himself down next to the pair and wincing as he hit the gravel. "Do you think Pulse and JMJ can do it? Maxilunch machines can't use masks normally." The two builders were arguing in front of the robot, and then they suddenly all moonwalked into a hallway.

"They don't usually moonwalk, either." Portal said. "But Quisoves died. I'm sure they'll know how that relates, because I don't."

"Um... Er, are you sure about the mask?" Taco Nuiva changed the subject.

"I am," Portal said before he realized it. "Um.... Maxilunch said he couldn't, and if he said so, then I guess we should start looking for alternate-"


The three Matoran glanced down at Pulse, who was partying in a circle, while TXS watched in horror. "WE DID IT! He can use them! We can get a life!"

"See, I told you so. Get everybody gathered," Portal said, trying not to make eye contact. "Someone needs to... Grab Voltex."

"I'll do it." TXS said. "It's been a while since I've suplex- I mean, asked for him nicely, hehe."

"Right... We'll send for you two if you take too long."

Vol-Tex walked into the medic bay, where the corpses of farmers and medical farmers lay in great heaps. Peuce -4 was asleep on one of the beds, hooked to Mental Cylinder, a garbage Matrix bootleg found at a garage sale.

You have to do this. He told himself nervously as he lied down and plugged himself into the system, going to sleep instantly.

When his eyes opened he was back in the city once more, but everything was wrong. Dark and horrific, murderous and scary, everything had taken a shape all too familiar with him.


"Took you long enough, weaker me."

He turned around to face iSocket, who was standing a ways off. He realized how easy it would be to just run up and fall over, but that might make sense.

"I'm not joining you, Peuce negative four."

"Well I'm not coming apart."

"I wanted to let you know we won." Vol-Tex shrugged. "Y'know, since we're best broskis and stuff."

"Nice." Peuce -4 grumbled. "But we're not broskis."

"Look at what you've done," Vol-Tex changed the subject in as dramatic of a manner that he could muster. "All of it is cylinders. It may be fun for you, but it's a nightmare for me, and clearly I'm a role model for the minds and decency of all Matoran, so you need to understand that what you did is wrong, and what you're doing is wrong, and... Uh..."

Peuce -4 had adopted an expression on his face of a need to vomit, but he quickly shook it off and stood in a different direction. "Well get used to it. You're here forever."

"No. All I have to do is freefall. But you're stuck here for good. Until you realize what you've done. Dummy."

Voltex paced to the edge, only to get kicked off by Peuce -4.

When he woke up, he jumped up with a start and fell on the floor because he was missing a leg. He glanced at Peuce -4, still on the bed, hooked to the machine. He thought about disconnecting it and stopping this ridiculous plot loop, but he decided to leave it be, because if you can't join 'em, join 'em anyway, amiright?


Vol-Tex turned around and saw TXS, who looked like he really wanted to throw him.

"Hey," Vol-Tex coughed into his hand and then wiped the blood away magically before TXS could care. "What's shakin'?"

"They did a thing." TXS said. "Maxilunch can use masks. We can leave."

"That's dandy." Vol-Tex said as he stood up and hobbled forwards.

"TXS grabbed him by the shoulder and pitched him into the corner. "Oh by the way, I ain't tellin' nobody about what you been doin' recently unless you want me to."

"Thmenks." Vol-Tex grumbled from under his flattened face.

Portalfig watched skeptically as TXS dragged Vol-Tex from the building by his remaining leg. His fears were confirmed after TXS noticed the slight blood trail behind him.


The group began to run towards the pair as Vol-Tex tried to stand up; the Maxilunch got there first and accidentally slammed into him. The machine piked him up afterwards as the others looked on longingly.

"What's wrong with him?" Portalfig said, fearing he already knew what the answer was, but the robot simply stood blankly before looking at Vol-Tex.

"Permission to tell everyone how much you suck."

"I hate you." Vol-Tex groaned.

"Vol-Tex is dying," Maxilunch said in a dead, lifeless tone. "The injuries he suffered watching Contort live up to his name were too scarring, and he neglected my advice not to attempt it himself. He will only live a few minutes longer, and Mata Nui help us during those minutes. Beep. Boop."

Disgust, nausea, jealousy, and really feeling it swept over Portalfig then. He glared at Maxilunch before glancing at the Matoran of Beef, who nodded his head slowly. "I wish to... Die." He gasped,, spitting out hot sauce flowing through his system. "I remember everything; living life as a random Matoran, shooting down a big base held up by toothpicks surrounded by Vahki, Consumo surviving his brains being blown out and then falling 60 stories... "

"What...?" Portalfig stammered as TXS walked around him. "It's what he stupidly wants. I know what you want to say - but it's already been said; he's been called an idiot before. At the end of the day... Well, would you want to live if you were the point of this excuse for humour? Let him escape from this madness."

Before Portal could respond, the other Matoran walked up behind him. Vol-Tex coughed on them purposefully before continuing. "Smoked Ribs, if you hadn't been there when I got to the red star... I might have gotten takeout food. JMJ... You and Chro were the only ones in the previous universe to be relevant. Shadow of the drumstick deceased ignorant flames of smoking... Um, whoever you are... Your alliance with Luroka was what saved us. Why did you do that."

"Because I wanted us not to die instantly?" Glazed looked confused.

Vol-Tex rolled his eyes before turning to Letagi. "Letagi... Your super barbecue... It was great. I ate there a lot."

"Um, thanks!" Letagi said, wide-eyed.

"Valentine... Back on BZ-Koro, in the jail... You brought to me a rant on Valentine's Day... To read. United me with critics in the name of something. Thanks, I guess. Pulse... I remember liking you... Helping you."

Pulse shrugged. "I guess you're just weird."

"Nobody cares" Vol-Tex said, clearly irritated. "Taco Nuiva... There is so much I could say. Your name sounds incredibly tasty, and with tastiness comes a taste in leadership. You're clearly not good enough to compare with my magnificence, but you're close enough."

"I... Okay, yeah sure." Taco Nuiva was quite puzzled, so much so she forgot that he was dying.

"I-I can't do this." Portal stammered. "I-I-"

"You have literally been doing it for about half a week." Vol-Tex grumbled. "Besides, plot, reasons, mustard, and horse radish. I mean hoarseradish. You survived operation normal weather, survived the business meeting, survived BZ-Koro, survived the war, and survived these awful puns and bad-as-could-possibly-be writing."

"I..." Portalfig took a while trying to understand in vain. "Ugh, fine."

"That is... Really really lame... Maxilunch, I think it's time..."

Maxilunch shrugged, glancing around with its boring red eyes before actually doing what it was supposed to do. "he's dying. Suckas. Boop beep."

"So long, friends..." The Matoran of Barbecue shuddered. "Maybe we shall meet again. Perhaps, if we do... Get... Take-out...."

Portalfig watched as his supposed friend went limp, the Maxilunch robot carelessly dropping him on the ground afterwards.

"I have calculated that this is boring."

They were not granted more than a few seconds to glare angrily at the machine before the sound of helicopters, bad memes, and rap music far off caught their attention. "It looks like the internet caught up with us." Portalfig said before he turned around. "Pack the nothings you all own! We need to leave NOW!!"

As the Matoran frantically scrambled, trying to figure out what their nothings were, Portalfig handed the mask of Sunlight to Maxilunch, who nearly dropped it. "Scan that and activate the Old Big Mac- Olmak. I said OLMAK."

"What about corpse-boy over here?" Taco Nuiva pointed to his most royal highness Vol-Tex. "We can't take him."

"And we shouldn't leave him either." Portal groaned. "There's only one option."

He raised the hot sauce launcher and fired at Vol-Tex's face. It chewed with a disgusting sound and with one final burp, it vanished, destroying the only remains of the legendary chef.

"It's... His final meal." Portalfig sniffed. "Or, um... He was a meal, and it was final... Or, he was so delish, he... Uh..."

Maxilunch shoved the others out of the way and tapped brutally on Portalfg's head. "I did the thing. Lettuce go."

Portalfig glanced at the helicopters and the meme police flying in on nyan cats. "Open it, then."

The robot glanced at the wall, and after saying abracapokus hocuscadabra peanut butter sandwich, the portal popped into existence with a sploosh. Matoran frantically crawled over each other until they got in, Letagi slipping in at the last second before the group of plot characters crowded the entrance.

"Well, this is it, Luigi..." TXS said.

"To greater and better plot lines." Pulse replied, actually caring.

"Another lame adventure..." Taco Nuiva muttered.

"To new monies and sleeping." Portal said. "And to butter. Lots of butter. Close the portal, Maxilunch, but come through as it closes. And don't get squished."

"Whatever. I still hate you all. Beep."

The machine nodded slowly as the four Matoran paced through - and as they went on to another abysmal mess, none of them noticed Maxilunch's eyes briefly flash a brilliant peuce.















Re-Author's Notes



Wow. Good gravy. Good gravy with a delicious chocolate spread on ham... Okay that's just gross. Nobody eats ham.


Anyway, wow. A year and a half. That's how lazy I am at things like this. And for the triple-chocolate homemade icing on the cake of EXTERMINATION, I think after a year and a half it would have rotted. But hey, if anyone actually responds to this, I guess I'm wrong.


But hey, it's been a fun 1 1/2 years - i.e. 18 months, almost 19 months, waiting for me to finish this. Right? guys? ;~;


Aw, come on. I know at least some of you enjoyed that, and I know I sure did. Writing about hot sauce, cylinders, grub steaks, Sunlight, BREAD units, Maxilunch robots, and The Flying Cylinder was entertaining, training for my bad grammar, and a perfect display of how awful my humour is.


All in all, it was well worth it. I highly recommend going and giving EXTERMINATION another read, and then reading Textermination again! :D


*Crowds boo heartily*




Now you can leave your hate mail for the series as a whole, or how much hated a specific part, or how much you hate me, or uh... Well, do what you want.

Oh, and if you have an epic that YOU would like horribly ruined with jokes of a specific theme... Give me a call. ;)

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