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Endless Blue -- Review Topic


bonesiii

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Here's Chapter 49.I've already proofre-read the final chapter and epilogue and intend to post those later this week as well, so there's no big delays in the final part. Let's say, plan for final chapter on Tuesday, and epilogue Wednesday. :)Proofreading The Perfect Cage is going quickly. I have a number of comments added on that I'll need to go back and follow up on, but so far it's all straightforward. If things go at the current pace I'll be able to begin posting it almost immediately after EB is fully posted. I'm hoping Ojhilom will have time to read it first, but he's in college and has a job so he probably won't.I also "accidentally wrote" the prologue and first chapter of the story that takes place after TPC and Falling Sun lol. It all just came to me and I had to get it down. So yeah... not quite according to plan, but I may be unable to resist continuing that sooner than I thought. Even so, the EM has not been forgotten; I'll try to get to the contest polls at least soonishish.'Tis a good idea to spoilertag for TN's sake. I'll do that too. ^_^
So this whole Red Star thing screws up the shaking dimension, doesn't it? Or does Caroha not know about the resurection thing (I would assume she does).
Well, I can't be super loose-lipped about this (there are some ships to sink :P), but I can comment a little.1) Just to be clear, The Shaking is an alternate Paracosmos, not an alternate Cosmos of the sort of the Altacosmos stories. If it was to mess up anything it would be those (but I think it'll be a general rule in fanfics from now on to ignore it if it isn't desired to play a role in the stories). And The Shaking is one alternate Paracosmos that is fairly close to the actual Paracosmos.So, you can take that however you like for theories as to what the nature of death in the Paracosmos is. :P2) Past stories have made it clear there is a defined "how it is" with death in the Paracosmos, and that it is an intentional mystery here.3) I can confirm that the RS news does not mess up my plans at all. My "how it is" required a little adjustment but 'twas easy because a different secret I already planned was already a rule that affects this (and the Velika thing too incidentally). Yall can theorize on that how yall may, heh.4) Caroha in the Cosmos did not know about the RS prior to touching the chronoserum and causing her Event. So that alone could have "written it out" of the Paracosmos (not saying it did, just playing Theorist's Advocate =P). Some things the chronoserum made her reach out to subconsciously understand about the Cosmos and copy, other things her own ignorance affected in the Paracosmos. Obviously I can't reveal which is which outside the story. (Plus of course there's the mystery of the chronoserum's own effects.)5) However, now Caroha has studied the Cosmos and obviously would naturally want to study the Red Star, so she does know about it in the Cosmos.Thanks, fishers. :)
Well, I'm not very astute. But I did look into this: all of the items teleported were teleported into underground caves on islands, and I have a hunch that those caves are following some sort of line, like on a map. Other than that I get nothing.
It's a good attempt, but wrong. The locations themselves are confirmed to be random and to be places that people do not travel often. Undiscovered or difficult-to-reach caves are simply the most common kind of place that fulfills those requirements, but some of the objects did appear in non-cave locations. Hint: It has something to do with Paracosmos physics.There is, however, a "forming a line" type of secret in this story, as will be mentioned at the end (I forget if in final chapter or epilogue... lol irony).You're correct that the Lantern parts were there all along. Those early BE sections took place (due to the time-travel observation-like effect of Hujo being in the chronoserum) during the earlier episodes, in the first epic and the first short story respectively, while the object teleportation only happens in Twisted Island, the one just before Endless Blue.I may as well confirm in this case that Caroha put them there, knowing (thanks to her visions) that Bhukasa would need them, Hujo as Blue Eyes could find them, and that the things stored in the Unknown City would likely not be safe so she couldn't be sure it would be found in time to give to Bhukasa if they kept it at the city. :)
Theory: the Lantern cannot be teleported. This is because when Bhukasa tried to teleport, his lantern hand hurt, and the power failed.
Not quite; the lantern (as well as the two ships) was just teleported to that prison a couple of chapters earlier. However, the teleportation failure does have to do with the lantern. :) (Since you've read ahead I can say:) It's part of the Reality Duel. By teleporting both ships there with an intent to have a showdown, while conditions were right (which BE being involved fulfills; this will be explored more clearly in future story) he triggered the duel effect, which messes with reality to ensure the two combatants cannot easily get away from each other. Thus the duel disables all teleportation until one of the combatants is defeated.Also, note that Volitaos confirms the lantern itself is merely a light source, with the chronoserum serving as the power source. The duel effect comes mainly from BE's involvement in this case, through the chronoserum, not any power in the Lantern's own design. (This is just one of many reasons why, even though it can be like an infinite battery, chronoserum is a very dangerous power source.)
Is the orb tech on the eggcraft (chapter 6) the same as the tech in Bhukasa's lantern?
I didn't really establish if it is exactly the same, though it would make sense because that tech was stated to be very flexible, and could emit light. Probably a much more limited version of it.
Chapters 44-46 didn't really stand out to me for theories or criticism. I like those kind of chapters, where there is a bunch of action and lots of unusual and unexpected things happening rapidly. But they were just...sad. The bad guys were winning, as they were (mostly) for the previous 43 chapters, and by this time I'm looking for a light at the end of the tunnel, can't find it, see a glimmer on the tunnel wall...And then chapter 47 dragged badly. Running...running, distractions...and now we'll try something. I have a theory on that, through...read on!
Yeah, I noticed this too while proofreading, and expected you to point it out. :P No real way it could have been changed though; it honestly was Arena Method. But it's something I noted to work hard to adjust future Arenas to avoid.
And then Chapter 48 was awesome. :biggrin:I applaud your decision to put it all there instead of splitting it up into two chapters, because once the good guys start winning, it's just something the reader can't put down and you have to semi-resolve it. I know that if you broke off that sequence in the middle I would have been annoyed, because the good guys winning made me want to read more, and more, and more and if there wasn't more, I would have been unhappy.
Glad that worked. Now we'll see if the final chapters & epilogue work. :P
Theory: The Seahopper's black metal room is powered by the trace amounts of chonoseurum found in the Paracosmos ocean water. Without said power source it no longer functions.
A smart theory, which I can neither confirm nor deny. :P
Theory: Chonoseurum is soluble in water, and thus is present, in extremely fine amounts, in the clouds above.
Yes. Most of it is in the ocean, but since I featured some of it mixed into flowing freshwater sources, it has to be mixed through the entire water cycle.
How does Niaka know where to go to CHECK after ending up on the pirate ship? If Tahu told her, how did he know?
In hindsight, I may need to edit something in about two of those locations. For most of them, she is recalling what Ahurahn said about if it's too unclear (as it was at the time due to the rain) to see far around for more islands nearby, they would have to go back later. The pirates basically took over that part of the job. However, when Ahurahn appears again later I really should have her mention two things, which they kinda do just mysteriously seem to know here, heh:1) The prison island directly between Mata Nui and Kriitunga Island needed CHECKing. I believe I have the pirates do so without being told to; that's a mistake.2) That they don't need to CHECK Kriitunga Island (Unknown already have).I'll try to edit something in about that. Good catch.
This would be a very interesting poem, as Makuta Spiriah hardly seems poetic and his science experiments failed. Also makes me wonder why the Kuambu thought this particular individual was worthy of a poem.
I can only lol at this, and then mimic Bhukasa again and say that I forget if I already confirmed something or not... but the reason has been hinted out many times in Endless Blue. Think... rearrange letters...If nobody does think of it, it's confirmed early on in The Perfect Cage, so yeah. I'll just wait and see if anyone does. :P
Is there a Poetraxiens Bhukasa? Hujo? Caroha?
Big yes to Bhukasa. As to the other two I cannot answer it.
For a sea story, bones, I'm surprised at how many flying things you have in here. Itu's bird (which is apparently big enough to carry a not-exactly-small snow lizard), the Unknown zoocraft, Hujo's suit, Toa Tyaako, Azh'yuuros (briefly), the pirate ship, and now the ferry, too. Is the way to beat the Kuambu to fly?
I can't say that flying is like "the key" -- but you are on the right track. Having so much flight in a story with Kuambu involved is intentional. :) It is also a clue to another secret.Well, I can also say that part of it is just that they tend to have open-air prisons, so they naturally invite flight as the most obvious way to escape them.FTR, Ito's bird was originally introduced during the Rahunga Saga, and mentioned the Ito and one other passenger, including Toa, can fit. :)
And lastly, the "wave of memory" that hits Bhukasa at the end of 48 looks like the real wave that comes after Bhukasa's ship in chapter 4. That wave Bhukasa saw in chapter 4 looked like it had sapphire bricks on it. Does that indicate that the Sapphire vault that Azh'yuuros was guarding has something to do with memory? Like storing Matoran universe memories or something?
I can safely deny that the sapphire bricks thing has anything to do with the Sapphire Vault, as Bhukasa doesn't know what that is; he chooses to visualize that metaphor because he saw the wave, and sees it as blue along with the theme of sadness.However, I can't confirm or deny the theory of what the Vault does.
Are you familiar with mindspeed theory, bones? Because I note several references to it in here, at least on a rudimental level. If you're not, it's the theory that people's thoughts move at different rates compared to time - "Suzie thinks faster than Sally."
I don't know if I've heard that term, but I've blogged about the idea. I've often noticed that I tend to think more slowly than others (at least on things I haven't trained myself to think faster on). And of course it's known that adrenaline increases thought speed; I often allude to that in action sequences.
It seems to me that thoughts don't come quickly to Bhukasa; that he doesn't think very fast. Hujo, by contrast, is supposed to be a high-speed thinker. Is that what you had in mind?
More or less, yes. I think of Hujo as innately analytical. Bhukasa isn't, but he does tend to arrive at right conclusions eventually, when they are personal to him.
It seems to me that thoughts don't come quickly to Bhukasa; that he doesn't think very fast. But when Bhukasa does think, he always manages to hit the nail on the head - or as close as he can get. He has problems with his memory and comes up with theories on occasion...And I wonder why Bhukasa reminds me of bonesiii.I probably should not speculate along these lines, but sometimes things that remind us of ourselves, or at least qualities in ourselves that we don't like, we tend to avoid. And then I saw you avoid writing about him. Makes me wonder how far the similarity goes. (If there is one; maybe my mind is off, and if so I apologize.)
Oh I love this kind of analysis, no need to apologize. Yes, having memory problems is definitely something I relate to, although with me it's more forgetting just about anything including little things, whereas with Bhukasa it's a very different cause (as revealed in 49).Anywho, that very likely does explain some of the Bhukasa avoiding. Some of it was intentional theming, though, like him getting knocked out several times, but I did feel on re-reading it that it wasn't coming across that way. And again, having so many threads that demanded so much story time really proved harder to handle than I'd expected. I feel like some of the threads, to some extent, ended up "stealing the show" from Bhukasa much more than I intended, heh.I think for that reason alone, without considering content, I would have been better off putting some of it in a second story that would take place alongside this, just as I did with The Sword is But the Focus (first epic) and Emissary of Earth (second short story). However, there is a content reason why most of these threads are directly related to the core plot here so I felt I had no choice but to put them in here. Weird how that turned out lol.
On Azh'yuuros' secret job - if the event from before Mata Nui's crash/sleep is a part of official canon, I won't be able to remember it.
It isn't. It's Paracosmos-only. The answer to it is fairly simple but it's the sort of thing I doubt is likely to be guessed.
Also, your portrayal of Tyaagko is really spot-on. His reaction to Udmijok speaking reminded me of the Redead from Wind Waker (Zelda game) - if Link walked nearby, it'd turn its face with black eyes toward him but not move otherwise. Very creepy.
Ironically that is exactly what inspired it. :biggrin:Love that game.And yes, the sea-travel connection there is intentional. :P
Wow, amazing plan being put into motion. Hujo clearly has learned an important lesson of a Mapmaker - when you have no more ink to draw your map, reuse the ink from what you already have drawn! Using the chronoserum to contain an Event in a Circle in order to create a new home is probably one of the most audacious things ever. Caroha will definitely have fits.Chapter 40: (Almost caught up, should be just in time for the finale!)Ohh. Should have foreseen that Caroha intended all of this. I even remarked on her apparent strategy of bringing Hujo under her (benevolent) control... should have occurred to me, especially since she handled those creatures so easily before. I feel silly. =P
Well, I don't see her as intending the little Event but being aware he was likely to do it and not seeing any other way to really introduce him to the Unknown. There's a lot of history behind why she does it this way which I of course can't comment on now. :P But basically I see this as Hujo once again demonstrating that as Jahurungi he has a drive to experiment and investigate in ways Caroha wishes he wouldn't.In other words, she already had the fit long ago when she concluded from her visions that it was unavoidable. :P
Love the controls for the Seahopper. Some of them are standard enough, but I'm curious how you came up with the underwater dome power. Reminds me of when I'd play with a cup in the bathtub as a kid and hold air underneath it while submerging it!
That's it exactly. :) Always fascinated me and most of my stories haven't had any opportunity to feature something like that, so basically as soon as I realized I needed several cool boat powers that came to mind. :) I can credit some of the early LEGO submarine lines too as they got me thinking about applications of the principle for underwater vessels.
I see the plan to sink the Lone Ship. We never did clarify how far those blasts can travel before losing their energy, though. Hopefully they are as powerful as they seemed to be last time! Although if the Kuambu worked with Mhondomva, we don't know that they haven't planted detectors at each of the horns that would alert them to whenever they're used. Or even using a dual system with one on their ships that alerts them when their ship has been targeted.Didn't expect that outcome, though. Brilliant.
They actually do have a way to know a blast is headed at them, but they never imagined someone would think of the triangulation method Bhukasa used the Seahopper to accomplish, so they would only use it if they were in range of the built-in visual targeting system. They will be adjusting that strategy now.As for whether the method is onboard or not, it's a little of both, and part of the answer will become clear in TPC. (The rest in the finale.) So, like, in the unlikely event anybody actually remembers we had this conversation then, I could comment a little more. :P Edited by bonesiii

The Destiny of Bionicle (chronological retelling of Bionicle original series, 9 PDFs of 10 chapters each on Google Drive)Part 1 - Warring with Fate | Part 2 - Year of Change | Part 3 - The Exploration Trap | Part 4 - Rise of the Warlords | Part 5 - A Busy Matoran | Part 6 - The Dark Time | Part 7 - Proving Grounds | Part 8 - A Rude Awakening | Part 9 - The Battle of Giants

My Bionicle Fanfiction  (Google Drive folder, eventually planned to have PDFs of all of it)

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Thanks, fishers. :)
No, bones, thank you! :)
Chapters 44-46 didn't really stand out to me for theories or criticism. I like those kind of chapters, where there is a bunch of action and lots of unusual and unexpected things happening rapidly. But they were just...sad. The bad guys were winning, as they were (mostly) for the previous 43 chapters, and by this time I'm looking for a light at the end of the tunnel, can't find it, see a glimmer on the tunnel wall...And then chapter 47 dragged badly. Running...running, distractions...and now we'll try something. I have a theory on that, through...read on!
Yeah, I noticed this too while proofreading, and expected you to point it out. :P No real way it could have been changed though; it honestly was Arena Method. But it's something I noted to work hard to adjust future Arenas to avoid.
And then Chapter 48 was awesome. :biggrin:I applaud your decision to put it all there instead of splitting it up into two chapters, because once the good guys start winning, it's just something the reader can't put down and you have to semi-resolve it. I know that if you broke off that sequence in the middle I would have been annoyed, because the good guys winning made me want to read more, and more, and more and if there wasn't more, I would have been unhappy.
Glad that worked. Now we'll see if the final chapters & epilogue work. :P
Why did you expect me to point that out?And yeah, do see how the "arena" makes that inevitable. Too long a sad stretch is bad, though, as we humans tend to want to avoid the sadness of our lives by reading.I just want a happy ending bones. :) Given the title, probably a bit too much to ask though. I'll see.
Theory: Chonoseurum is soluble in water, and thus is present, in extremely fine amounts, in the clouds above.
Yes. Most of it is in the ocean, but since I featured some of it mixed into flowing freshwater sources, it has to be mixed through the entire water cycle.
Then, is the chonoseurum in the clouds responsible for this "weather pattern" that's supposed to be a clue to some other mystery? I'm starting to see how the chonoseurum changes the vast amount of things that it does.I'm glad that I was helpful in fixing the Niaka CHECKing error (lol bad pun). You've done a very good job avoiding these errors, though, so props to you for that.
It seems to me that thoughts don't come quickly to Bhukasa; that he doesn't think very fast. But when Bhukasa does think, he always manages to hit the nail on the head - or as close as he can get. He has problems with his memory and comes up with theories on occasion...And I wonder why Bhukasa reminds me of bonesiii.I probably should not speculate along these lines, but sometimes things that remind us of ourselves, or at least qualities in ourselves that we don't like, we tend to avoid. And then I saw you avoid writing about him. Makes me wonder how far the similarity goes. (If there is one; maybe my mind is off, and if so I apologize.)
Oh I love this kind of analysis, no need to apologize. Yes, having memory problems is definitely something I relate to, although with me it's more forgetting just about anything including little things, whereas with Bhukasa it's a very different cause (as revealed in 49).Anywho, that very likely does explain some of the Bhukasa avoiding. Some of it was intentional theming, though, like him getting knocked out several times, but I did feel on re-reading it that it wasn't coming across that way. And again, having so many threads that demanded so much story time really proved harder to handle than I'd expected. I feel like some of the threads, to some extent, ended up "stealing the show" from Bhukasa much more than I intended, heh.I think for that reason alone, without considering content, I would have been better off putting some of it in a second story that would take place alongside this, just as I did with The Sword is But the Focus (first epic) and Emissary of Earth (second short story). However, there is a content reason why most of these threads are directly related to the core plot here so I felt I had no choice but to put them in here. Weird how that turned out lol.
No, bonesiii. I don't want you to think that, because actually, now that I think on it, it was a mistaken line of reasoning by me. I'm glad that I made the mistake, though, because you made the same one. For a different reason, of course.Because there actually is enough featuring of Bhukasa in this story. His story gets told, and the other viewpoints in this story add to his perspective by showing his mindspeed and other aspects of his personality. And they keep the story moving along, because a slow-minded character is slow, and that can get bog your story down so far that nothing really happens. If you cut Bhukasa off into a story by himself, without the connections with the other plot threads to keep me engaged and on my toes, I might have got through the story, but would have complained of being bored out of my mind. I would have asked, "Why didn't you expand this story here? It suffers from underdeveloped ideas."But this is why I made the mistake, and this may be helpful to you. I have a mindspeed as well. And it is fast. As a result, I read at a ridiculously rapid rate; I think about what I have read very quickly as well. As a result, I produce wrong answers at an extremely rapid rate. Unless I can rapidly pull the right answer out of my extremely good memory. (My brain can find right answers, but it always involves checking my thoughts against facts in my memory, and connecting the new knowledge with the old.)So fast-paced sections always appeal to me the most, because it is on my level - on my speed. So when I sat down to read this story, it was slow, I didn't know what was going on ... and so I immediately latched onto Bhukasa, who fit the slowness and dragginess...argh...until the pace picked up at Memory Island, and that was Bhukasa too, and then since Bhukasa was the main character, it seemed, from the prologue, I attacked you for not featuring him enough. Does that make any sense at all? And actually, I read that (mindspeed/mind allocation) blog entry before starting this story - it was why I came here in the first place. According to a career psychologist "expert", (who introduced the idea of mindspeed to me, ironically) lower-mindspeed people are not writers. In fact, how you've protrayed Bhukasa in his memories is how the psychologist views them - workers at simple crafts such as carpentry, engraving, etc. So naturally I was curious as to who was right, and decided to see if your writing was any good. (It is indeed! Write on, bones!)That psychologist is a cool dude. It is evident that he never met you. Or read your work. :)***As for Chapter 49, I felt you did well with the reveal of Bhukasa's lost memories. Still really sad, though - but it was something you couldn't avoid. I do find it ironic though that Bhukasa now relies on the technology he hated so much before. I don't think Toggler murdered Bhukasa's species though. He doesn't have the power. Also, this suggests to me that the Kuambu never really erased Bhukasa's memories. They don't have the power? Or could they use it by stealing Bhukasa's soulsong - is that why they towed Bhukasa's ship around, using the "Rust Weevil" power on prisoners who they wanted to have memories erased?The Kuambu also seem to have had clear memory-blurring Kuamor before, back when Bhukasa escaped, but I haven't seen any now. It makes me wonder what Bhukasa's Kuamor power is.Unless it's the protocage one he used on Toggler. Probably just that......and I'll leave it, at that.

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Ah, I won't make it in time to "live-review" the finale, but my goal is definitely to finish by the end of the week! Two chapters today at least. Also cool that Tyaagko's Undead state was inspired by the same thing I thought of! :biggrin:Chapter 42:

The Va-like humanoid made more strange hand signals, and the robot translated. “Welcome to the Apax. Follow us.”
Bio-sign language? And an interpreter that always follows you around and probably never gets tired, and is always consistently neutral? AWESOME.
Niaka had heard of sign language for the deaf or mute before. The Rahunga had even been trained in some of the basic vocabulary of some well-known sign languages, but this was not one of them, as far as she could tell.
Thank you for making the distinction between identities clear. =) This is a really great addition to the mythos - something that I actually intend to do in my next series (with my own twists, of course). Would it be too egoistic to venture that I inspired you to incorporate this? It certainly is a clever way to add more mystery!
Then one of Korau’s eyes wandered to the left, as his other eye looked right.
No!! =OHorror aside, there obviously is a very strong theme of gaze in this story. I studied this in English last year so let me bring some of that here... Gaze is often used to convey power, as in a controller gazing upon a subject. But more realistically, it is used to cycle power, since there are always tensions between individuals and groups. Power does not reside in one single locus (and the many groups and factions in your stories make that obvious).With Blue Eyes, his gaze has always been passive, merely receiving information. You twisted this in a neat way by having Surkahi get information from BE by asking him to move his eyes around. Thus, motion of the gaze itself is a form of empowerment.Yet, this applies only when the gaze is consistent and unidirectional. This wasn't the case with Tyaagko, whose multidirectional gaze signifies a confusion of power - a loss of self-control. Although he certainly was still an active character who influenced and frightened others, it was unorganized, so not as great a threat as an unified gaze. And now the same is happening to Korau, unfortunately...I think I've figured out another clue to the Darkminds and Lightminds division. The Kuambu must be aware of the cause of this madness, and they are able to tell who will be susceptible to it and who isn't (or at least, who is more than half likely to fall victim, since the dark and light theme in BIONICLE has always been a balance, rarely a full shift toward either. So Tyaagko ad Korau both have some sort of aspect or destiny that makes them susceptible, and thus were sorted this way. Am I on the right track?Chapter 43:
Then he looked down at his hand, which lay in a small pile of gray shards.
Maybe rewrite this. I thought it meant his hand was in shards, not his mask.I sort of see a growing cage theme here now that The Perfect Cage has almost begun, with both the Bahrag illusion and the apparently reality-shifted (or teleported via some other method) Kuambu prison roof.The boarding scenes were cool because I sort of felt my own style in this... it felt like something I would have written. Obviously I approve. ;PChapter 44: So Voya Nui is introduced early as well - neat.Awesome breakthrough for BE! I think it's clear that he is going to return in latter stories, although we don't know if he exists in other dimensions. If he means "all the time" literally (since he wasn't specific, and it seems like a convenient line to drop as foreshadowing) then dimensions shouldn't stop him. And when has that ever really stopped anyone in the Paracosmos? =P And my question gets answered - sweet. If BE can manipulate things like the messages on the parchment in the Paracosmos as well as the Shaking and Metru Alta dimensions, then we've got a very handy agent here. And another agent has burst onto the scene - the awakened Gukko, who's apparently sent friends to aid the Toa on Mata Nui! I feel like I am live-tweeting my impressions right now, heh, the reading is just too fun to not comment. Plus this probably gives you a great window into the impact of your writing as it happens.
Each island was volcanic, and somewhat active, but not very violent. It was a chain starting smaller than the ferry to the east-southeast, then six islands got bigger until one several times the size of Ga-Koro. Then three more islands got smaller as the line continued west-northwest.
Plate tectonics at work, I assume. This makes me wonder what the impact of Mata Nui's body has on the planet's tectonic cycle. Was it ever clarified for canon how deep his body had sunk into the crust? Edited by Takuta-Nui


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Part One of the Chrysalis Saga

By Takuta-Nui

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Chapter 50 is up.Epilogue Wednesday :)

I edited this part of Chapter 45 as follows:

The pirates CHECKed the next island. This one was west of the Tarakava Island.It too was just like a pillar island, only low down, almost even with the ocean, at high tide.Niaka knew Pohatu had recently used Unknown sandals to run over the ocean, and had crossed very near an island just like it between Mata Nui and Kriitunga Island without seeing it.Why were some of the islands raised pillars and others identical except for the height?She didn’t know. But now the pirate ship headed north again.The next stop would be the one west of the Rockswimmer Squids island. She wondered what the pirates would do then -- would they just let the Matoran go? Would they give up the tablet?Tahu had called and had mentioned the Hole in the Ocean. The pirate ship was headed that way. Where Bhukasa’s showdown had been planned. She wondered how it was going, but she had no way to know until Tahu called her again, and he’d be busy for a while.[They ask about Ahurahn, and she reveals herself.]She pointed north. “There is more Checking to do." She held up a map. "This island is due west of Kriitunga Island, which you will reach as you continue north. I do not need you to check Kriitunga Island itself; we have handled that ourselves, but I do need you to sail there. Some people you’ll find at the river mouth need a ride.”Gar-Korr frowned. Signed.“We are not a taxi service.”“Then continue to the Hole in the Ocean,” Ahurahn said, ignoring the Captain and pointing to another dot on the map. "You will find a hole, recently patched, in the roof of the cage. The patch has not been coated with Crazolga slime yet. You will be able to blast your way in. Do so.”
Originally, I notice, I had them check the pillar island west of Udmijok's island in the previous section, and then voila they seemingly skip several of them to be at the one between Mata Nui & Kriitunga. Didn't make much sense that way anyways, so yeah. Hopefully I didn't miss anything this change could contradict, heh...
Why did you expect me to point that out?
I have no idea. I read people. :P I could go into a giant explanation how, but suffice to say intuition. ^_^
I just want a happy ending bones. :) Given the title, probably a bit too much to ask though. I'll see.
Well, depending on how you define it... but I'll let you decide. :P
Then, is the chonoseurum in the clouds responsible for this "weather pattern" that's supposed to be a clue to some other mystery? I'm starting to see how the chonoseurum changes the vast amount of things that it does.
A reasonable theory, but no. There isn't enough in the clouds to have such an obvious effect.
And actually, I read that (mindspeed/mind allocation) blog entry before starting this story - it was why I came here in the first place. According to a career psychologist "expert", (who introduced the idea of mindspeed to me, ironically) lower-mindspeed people are not writers. In fact, how you've protrayed Bhukasa in his memories is how the psychologist views them - workers at simple crafts such as carpentry, engraving, etc. So naturally I was curious as to who was right, and decided to see if your writing was any good. (It is indeed! Write on, bones!)That psychologist is a cool dude. It is evident that he never met you.Or read your work. :)
Well, I have a theory that false statements are usually just exaggerations of true ones, so it doesn't surprise me his idea matches up with Bhukasa that way, heh. I should say though that I do "think" fast in some ways I've trained myself to, especially "reading" people. It's not always slower than everybody -- -sometimes confusingly so the more I've trained myself to tap into my subconscious in controlled ways, as solutions sometimes immediately present themselves now whereas others don't ever seem to think of them. But I think this is learned skill rather than innate talent. Aaaanywho. I have more theories on it but something very similar is the theme to a future story so if I comment too much I'll give it away lol.
As for Chapter 49, I felt you did well with the reveal of Bhukasa's lost memories. Still really sad, though - but it was something you couldn't avoid.
Actually my fear when I was planning it was that I wouldn't be able to make it sad enough. :P But anyways, we'lll still have to see if the end is a satisfying turnabout on it. :)
I don't think Toggler murdered Bhukasa's species though. He doesn't have the power.
As you can see in the final chapter, he did not. And neither did the Kuambu, technically. But both were involved in, if you will, calling down the disaster -- but Toggler could not have known for sure that such a major crime would happen, plus he couldn't know if the Captain's seemingly contradictory threat was possible (that if he didn't come, he'd still die). However, you could make the case that Toggler should have known that at least one of the Ukyabha was going to be murdered since the Kuambu blatantly stated he was a killer -- and Toggler blames himself because of that.
Also, this suggests to me that the Kuambu never really erased Bhukasa's memories. They don't have the power? Or could they use it by stealing Bhukasa's soulsong - is that why they towed Bhukasa's ship around, using the "Rust Weevil" power on prisoners who they wanted to have memories erased?The Kuambu also seem to have had clear memory-blurring Kuamor before, back when Bhukasa escaped, but I haven't seen any now. It makes me wonder what Bhukasa's Kuamor power is.Unless it's the protocage one he used on Toggler. Probably just that...
Bhukasa's Kuamor power is the minor energy beam power. What makes it useful is that it enables anyone to use the black metal tech, even though naturally only Ukyabha could. (Plus I suppose they could do the other things Bhukasa uses it for but would of course much rather save them just for the black metal as it's a finite supply now that he got free.)The clear memory blurring power is the most common one. How that works will be explained more clearly in the Kuambu finale, so I suppose I should just wait for that. But they still have plenty, as seen in the final chapter & epilogue.And the protocage power's origin I can't answer, but it's not Bhukasa.And nice theory about the Rust Weevil thing, but the Kuambu don't know of that option. If they did, they could have used it for that purpose, though, via the energy beam power and calling up the right formation of dots in the program.Also, I may as well confirm that they have their own way to totally wipe memories, as it's strongly implied that they did so to Toggler (which I can confirm; at the end of 48 he is remembering many things he had forgotten about his role with Bhukasa... hence almost drawing the sword, heh), which they could have used on Bhukasa had it been necessary, but he did the equivalent to himself so they didn't need to. But usually the memory blurring is sufficient; most beings do not have a strong drive like Bhukasa does to find out what they forgot.
Would it be too egoistic to venture that I inspired you to incorporate this? It certainly is a clever way to add more mystery!
You did. :)Yeah, all those gaze-power observations fit indeed. You could also argue that the guardians of Memory Island have their individual power taken away by their eyes seemingly 'transplanted' to the room with the Stone instead of in their bodies. And yet collectively they form a strong power in that room. Interestingly, not sure this theory would apply to the Kuambu. They have eyes of course, and you could probably make an argument, but I tend to think of their voices as the things that indicate power, something I play with in both this story a little and in TPC.
I think I've figured out another clue to the Darkminds and Lightminds division. The Kuambu must be aware of the cause of this madness, and they are able to tell who will be susceptible to it and who isn't (or at least, who is more than half likely to fall victim, since the dark and light theme in BIONICLE has always been a balance, rarely a full shift toward either. So Tyaagko ad Korau both have some sort of aspect or destiny that makes them susceptible, and thus were sorted this way. Am I on the right track?
You are. :)
Awesome breakthrough for BE! I think it's clear that he is going to return in latter stories, although we don't know if he exists in other dimensions. If he means "all the time" literally (since he wasn't specific, and it seems like a convenient line to drop as foreshadowing) then dimensions shouldn't stop him. And when has that ever really stopped anyone in the Paracosmos? =P And my question gets answered - sweet. If BE can manipulate things like the messages on the parchment in the Paracosmos as well as the Shaking and Metru Alta dimensions, then we've got a very handy agent here. And another agent has burst onto the scene - the awakened Gukko, who's apparently sent friends to aid the Toa on Mata Nui!
I can confirm the Gukko is in future story -- in TPC. As for BE I can neither confirm nor deny for now. :P
Plate tectonics at work, I assume. This makes me wonder what the impact of Mata Nui's body has on the planet's tectonic cycle. Was it ever clarified for canon how deep his body had sunk into the crust?
It's plate tectonics, yes, and related to Mata Nui, though you'll have to wait till the epilogue for me to comment more specifically (you might be able to guess just from it though). Some of it will still be a secret for future story though.I don't recall if that was ever clarified. I see it as sinking fairly deep, but also being like a mountain range more or less, at least based on some of the concept art from the Faber Files and that one video we reported in the news recentlyishish. Edited by bonesiii

The Destiny of Bionicle (chronological retelling of Bionicle original series, 9 PDFs of 10 chapters each on Google Drive)Part 1 - Warring with Fate | Part 2 - Year of Change | Part 3 - The Exploration Trap | Part 4 - Rise of the Warlords | Part 5 - A Busy Matoran | Part 6 - The Dark Time | Part 7 - Proving Grounds | Part 8 - A Rude Awakening | Part 9 - The Battle of Giants

My Bionicle Fanfiction  (Google Drive folder, eventually planned to have PDFs of all of it)

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Chapter 45: It's curious, though, that Korau is doing the same word play that Tyaagko did. Apparently that's another universal feature of the madness of the sea, because I thought it was just Tyaagko's way of dealing with the madness.Ito's power is almost exactly the same kind of phenomenon as something else from Cipher Chronicles... you should know what I'm talking about... interesting. ;)Now my comments will be sparse; I'm just racing to finish the story and then I'll read the comments that have been posted up to this point and see if anything new comes up for me.Chapter 46: Yup, stuff happens.Chapter 47: Ah... Awakening Caroha... who's already extremely intelligent... that is gonna have interesting consequences.The Kuambu - or at least the Lone Captain - have encyclopedias! And it seems like Poetraxiens is their version of the encyclopedia, since it has to do with being able to eventually remember everything, which is the same thing as gaining all knowledge. Cool.Chapter 48: A cold a day keeps the doctor away... huh? =PThe ego trust makes a lot of sense. Bhukasa's only ever been truly afraid of his own memories, so he could only face them if he agrees with himself to face it... then the fear would go away. I'll stop here since it's a good place, and finish reading tomorrow!

Edited by Takuta-Nui


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Part One of the Chrysalis Saga

By Takuta-Nui

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And epilogue!

It's curious, though, that Korau is doing the same word play that Tyaagko did. Apparently that's another universal feature of the madness of the sea, because I thought it was just Tyaagko's way of dealing with the madness.
Yeah, that's the 'disease', as should be clear now from Krutuska's explanation of it (which is accurate, FTR).
Ito's power is almost exactly the same kind of phenomenon as something else from Cipher Chronicles... you should know what I'm talking about... interesting. ;)
Well, don't assume you have understood what happened there correctly. :P There is a BP-only aspect to it.
Ah... Awakening Caroha... who's already extremely intelligent... that is gonna have interesting consequences.
To be clear, I don't see Awakening of already sapient beings as anything besides just like waking them up from sleep; that's what it meant there. Like he sort of awoke that Toa of Water from the coma. It's implied that while in such a state he caused Caroha to teleport herself home, and the Unknown would take care of her from there. Only with less-than-sapient beings (animals) does the Awakening increase their intelligence.That said, it would be interesting to run with your idea, with a slight and barely noticeable smartifying. There is actually unintended evidence for it in The Perfect Cage, heh.
The Kuambu - or at least the Lone Captain - have encyclopedias! And it seems like Poetraxiens is their version of the encyclopedia, since it has to do with being able to eventually remember everything, which is the same thing as gaining all knowledge. Cool.
Yep, like school, but without the "forget it as soon as you finish taking the test" part. :) Edited by bonesiii

The Destiny of Bionicle (chronological retelling of Bionicle original series, 9 PDFs of 10 chapters each on Google Drive)Part 1 - Warring with Fate | Part 2 - Year of Change | Part 3 - The Exploration Trap | Part 4 - Rise of the Warlords | Part 5 - A Busy Matoran | Part 6 - The Dark Time | Part 7 - Proving Grounds | Part 8 - A Rude Awakening | Part 9 - The Battle of Giants

My Bionicle Fanfiction  (Google Drive folder, eventually planned to have PDFs of all of it)

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I'll take the epilogue early. :)

I was pleased with the resolution of matters in chapter 50. Seeing Bhukasa making some sort of peace with his past and the Kuambu getting trapped, Toa transformed, etc, was good, but the epilogue was a bitter pill to swallow. The worst part was King Khungakarii in jail - with all that turmoil in that society, and him, being still alive and knowing that those problems exist but he can't be there to help.I'm trying to get my head around the nature-of-the-robot revelation. So:1) There are domes underwater on Aqua Magna that are not part of the Mata Nui robot. I got that far.2) There is a war between the inhabitants of the domes are not part of the robot and the ones that are?3) There is a certain way that these domes "lock" around the robot to prevent it from leaving? I think that is what you meant, but would like to be sure. Anyway, this has been a very good story, and I thank you for allowing me to read it. In the future, I may be inclined to read more of your stories, and to provide my commentary on it if you are still willing to put up with it. The sequel to this story may indeed prove difficult to resist. Until next time. There probably shouldn't be one, but I know there probably will be. :)

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Chapter 49:

He he just heard correctly – this guy was fine with wooden towers?
Think that should be "had he."I can only say that it was immensely satisfying to read Bhukasa's past. I think this is probably the saddest story you've written in the BP, but all the same, it was absolutely worth the long reading of the epic.About the black metal - apparently this is what makes up the dome material in the BP? Since the Ukyabha are the only ones who can control it, I'm inferring that their species has some particular function in Mata Nui's BP body. And Bhukasa discovered the new extensions of the domes when he sailed out for the first time, so I get a feeling this has to do with Mata Nui's altered shape...Chapter 50: Ah, no Nuva-izing yet. And they don't even have the Unknown to guide them toward that... but did the tablet the pirates got detail the history of the Cosmos or Paracosmos? If the former, then if they recover it, they'd be able to follow it. Then again, that sort of knowledge spread throughout so many people has to be bad.Awesome breakthrough for Bhukasa. It always helps to think about how relative your situation is, and yet seeing how those other situations find ways of resolving themselves that seem impossible in yours. Hope is all you need sometimes.Epilogue: I feel bad for Krohlaba! After all this, Mhondomva's followers and the Kuambu may still take over the island. Dang. It is also very good foreshadowing of what is to come - the Perfect Cage.Now it makes more sense about the domes! They were already there on the planet. Through a massive contrivance of mathematics and physics and probability, it had been built to anticipate Mata Nui. Thus:The Great Beings are not alone.I loved reading this! PM me as soon as TPC starts and I'll subscribe, all right? (I actually tried to do that, but the new settings are different and I think I failed... Will try again once it's up.)Thanks for the story!Edit - went back and read all the reviews. Also had a day to reflect on the entire story, so I've dredged up some remaining questions/mysteries. No need to confirm or answer anything, but you know that already! This will also serve as a quick reminder list of what to keep an eye out for when reading future stories.1. In your post earlier, you said that flying is a clue to a secret in relation to the Kuambu. Well, a few characters have witnessed their shape and mentally commented on how unusual that is for a sea-faring race... Perhaps they have wings? It certainly would be a strange feature, and could serve as a gateway into understanding the Kuambu better if one could discover why they do not rely on their wings.2. We don't know yet what Ito was doing to himself with his gun-like contraption... That guy is so mysterious, I really am just content to let him run around in your stories and wait for the answers to come. =P3. Back to the grand reveal at the end. I think I may have been hasty about saying that the Great Beings are in competition with someone else. There WAS a schism that ignited the Core War (I assume that occurred in the Paracosmos too, since we have the shattered planet as Hujo saw), so it may be two factions of Great Beings. Or I may still be assuming too much. What I want to say next is sort of a roundabout response to fishers' last post...First, the Kuambu. We do not know where they are from, and since they dominate the Endless Sea, I would venture that they come from the Aqua Magna domes. The implication that the two universes are at war is both literal and metaphorical, I think. Literal - the Great Spirit may indeed be struggling mechanically to escape the domes and tunnels that have locked onto his body (even unconscious - we will struggle against our ill-fitting blankets or clothes while sleeping). Metaphorical - Hujo realizes that these two universes have been creates by two factions in competition, and so they would have been set up to eventually come in conflict.So I believe the Kuambu are like scouts on a massive scale - they went up, took over the oceans, and finally discovered a good base in the form of Mata Nui island from which they can begin invading the Matoran Universe. This may be entirely their own ambition, not aware they are carrying out a higher purpose.The Lone Captain did say that they refuse to go down through the sun-holes if possible, so I may be wrong about them planning an invasion. Guess it boils down to whether they are satisfied with an ocean empire or want more.I think this is partially such an astounding (and so, so cool) revelation for me because I didn't realize there were other domes before this. I thought they had been added to the robot's body during the Event, but it seems like this was known earlier? It also answers the mystery from Mindfire of how there can be Circles in the Zone of Darkness to the east and west of Metru Nui. There are Aqua Magna domes corresponding to them. I guess from an aerial POV, Mata Nui is rocking some headgear now. =P4. Oh yeah, and the acid attacks. We don't know yet what has caused that, but probably will find out more in this Saga. Can I ask - was Bhukasa's dome in the robot?5. Reading some comments earlier helped clarify the "time-shift" Hujo experienced as Blue Eyes. You planned this from so far back which is simply astounding. I'm also delighted that I'll be able to look for those references in earlier stories when I do eventually re-read them all. Edited by Takuta-Nui


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Part One of the Chrysalis Saga

By Takuta-Nui

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After having finished this epic, I can say it's been a memorable read. I have enjoyed a lot going through the plots and subplots, Buhkasha's attitude towards the sorrow changing through the epic, Hujo's interdimensional physicall and mental travels, Lewa and the divergences and convergences with the Core World and especially the part with Blue Eyes and the fish, that was very enjoyable to read.However, I've had problems to remember all the mysteries and plot threads throughout the epic. There are many POVs, many intertwining plots and that results in the fact that I sometimes can't remember what went on in the last chapter when the next is posted. It may be a problem of mine, but it didn't happen to me with some of your previous epics. Of course, I read those after you had posted them, and therefore I didn't have to wait for the chapters, but it is true that while I remember quite clearly how EB starts (the 8 Matoran quest, sailing to Kiritunga island, Bohrok and Kuambu arrival) and how it ends, I can't quite make out what happened in between without some effort.Also, I didn't understand something inthe final chapters. We get to know that The Lone Captain wanted to capture Buhkasha and, later on, revenge, but I don't understand why he wanted to flood the Matoran Universe.Great epic, and I'm definatley looking forward to read the next in the series whenever it comes out.

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After having finished this epic, I can say it's been a memorable read. I have enjoyed a lot going through the plots and subplots, Buhkasha's attitude towards the sorrow changing through the epic, Hujo's interdimensional physicall and mental travels, Lewa and the divergences and convergences with the Core World and especially the part with Blue Eyes and the fish, that was very enjoyable to read.However, I've had problems to remember all the mysteries and plot threads throughout the epic. There are many POVs, many intertwining plots and that results in the fact that I sometimes can't remember what went on in the last chapter when the next is posted. It may be a problem of mine, but it didn't happen to me with some of your previous epics. Of course, I read those after you had posted them, and therefore I didn't have to wait for the chapters, but it is true that while I remember quite clearly how EB starts (the 8 Matoran quest, sailing to Kiritunga island, Bohrok and Kuambu arrival) and how it ends, I can't quite make out what happened in between without some effort.Also, I didn't understand something inthe final chapters. We get to know that The Lone Captain wanted to capture Buhkasha and, later on, revenge, but I don't understand why he wanted to flood the Matoran Universe.Great epic, and I'm definatley looking forward to read the next in the series whenever it comes out.
It's true that this story was more massive than any previous Paracosmos epic. I lucked out in a way because I read everything within a few weeks due to catching up, and caught up right when it concluded. I do hope that the next epic is slightly more toned down in terms of number of threads and connections between them, though, since I'll likely be reading each chapter as it comes with a few days in between. :)If I can just offer a quick summary of how I remember the middle of the story: 8 Matoran get captured by Kuambu right away, stuck on prison island with new allies, Bhukasa sails to Kriitunga island first after evading Lone Ship, avoids cannon blasts, Mhondomva is "defeated," Mata Nui & Kriitunga island unite forces, Bhukasa sails to Memory Island, then to prison island, almost frees 8 Matoran but gets sunken by Lone Ship, 8 Matoran saved by Unknown and sent on CHECKing journey, Bhukasa discovers black metal tech, 8 Matoran encounter pirates, Hujo discovers BE and recovers himself, connects with Niaka, all rendezvous at Hole in the Ocean, chronoserum duel begins.About the chronoserum duel - that is another thing I wanted to mention. I feel like I missed something because it seemed as though Ito and others were suddenly talking about the duel as if it was standard knowledge... not to me. Did this happen before and I'm just forgetting it? What is the meaning of a chronoserum duel?


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Part One of the Chrysalis Saga

By Takuta-Nui

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I'm trying to get my head around the nature-of-the-robot revelation. So:1) There are domes underwater on Aqua Magna that are not part of the Mata Nui robot. I got that far.2) There is a war between the inhabitants of the domes are not part of the robot and the ones that are?3) There is a certain way that these domes "lock" around the robot to prevent it from leaving?
1 & 3, definite yes. The non-giant-robot domes, and the tunnels between them, literally act like a massive net anchored around the planet with chains attached to the giant robot. It's strong enough to prevent the giant robot from freeing himself and flying away. In The Shaking, Makuta had taken it over like the end of 2008, and was furiously trying to get free. Because he had commandeered the Bohrok there with those head devices, so overrode whatever programming they had (and likely Bhukasa was already dead so the doors that the black metal system can lower are stuck open) the chains could not be cut. So he tried to free himself by shaking so hard the chain would break.Instead, he shook his own head too hard and broke the machinery in the brain Core, killing himself. And the few cracks he did open up in the chains flooded the Matoran Universe.As for #2 I'll mostly let yall continue to speculate. Many different options are implied to have passed through Hujo's imagination when he saw this. For example, does some good guy think that in this universe, Makuta taking over will not have any possible good ending, and wants to trap him here? Or does a bad guy want to trap Mata Nui here? Or does someone just want to make sure the domes stay here for some reason? Etc. At this point Hujo does not know any of this. The Unknown have some theories but do not want to taint his judgement.The one thing I can say is that it is not literally that the inhabitants of the robot domes are all at war with the inhabitants of the other domes. Most are (and were, thanks to the portals, long before the GC) in a relatively peaceful trade relationship, as portrayed in other stories. It's certain groups, especially the big three Factions plus the Kuambu, that have their own goals centered around this fact.
About the black metal - apparently this is what makes up the dome material in the BP?
The makeup of the domes is something I can neither confirm nor deny. :)
And they don't even have the Unknown to guide them toward that... but did the tablet the pirates got detail the history of the Cosmos or Paracosmos? If the former, then if they recover it, they'd be able to follow it. Then again, that sort of knowledge spread throughout so many people has to be bad.
Cosmos. :) It was a summary of what we know as the ten years of Bionicle's main story.
Now it makes more sense about the domes! They were already there on the planet. Through a massive contrivance of mathematics and physics and probability, it had been built to anticipate Mata Nui. Thus:The Great Beings are not alone.
Well, the status of GBs is another intentional mystery here, so don't assume anything about it. :) It should be noted that Op'hasa strongly implies it is an Unknown that leads him away to build the pillar island system. There will be more clues about this later, but suffice to say, that part of it (preventing the flooding of the Aqua Magna domes) was made by Unknown with Op'hasa's help. Whether GBs were involved and how will be a secret for future story.Will PM you. :) I'm halfway through proofreading the fifth part of TPC now, so soonish...
1. In your post earlier, you said that flying is a clue to a secret in relation to the Kuambu. Well, a few characters have witnessed their shape and mentally commented on how unusual that is for a sea-faring race... Perhaps they have wings? It certainly would be a strange feature, and could serve as a gateway into understanding the Kuambu better if one could discover why they do not rely on their wings.
It's a cool theory. I will probably not say much to your other theories, but this one I can safely debunk. I actually considered it once, but if they did, when Bhukasa & crew were escaping in his earlier flashbacks from the pillar island, they should have been able to fly over the fence and beat him to the ground level, instead of what they did which was to run down the spiral tunnel inside, chasing him.So flying is related in a much more indirect way. :)Also, winged beings has been somewhat of a staple of a shape among beings like Sairiph and one of the Unknown's common forms, so I doubt it would really surprise many people that much.
First, the Kuambu. We do not know where they are from, and since they dominate the Endless Sea, I would venture that they come from the Aqua Magna domes. The implication that the two universes are at war is both literal and metaphorical, I think. Literal - the Great Spirit may indeed be struggling mechanically to escape the domes and tunnels that have locked onto his body (even unconscious - we will struggle against our ill-fitting blankets or clothes while sleeping). Metaphorical - Hujo realizes that these two universes have been creates by two factions in competition, and so they would have been set up to eventually come in conflict.So I believe the Kuambu are like scouts on a massive scale - they went up, took over the oceans, and finally discovered a good base in the form of Mata Nui island from which they can begin invading the Matoran Universe. This may be entirely their own ambition, not aware they are carrying out a higher purpose.The Lone Captain did say that they refuse to go down through the sun-holes if possible, so I may be wrong about them planning an invasion. Guess it boils down to whether they are satisfied with an ocean empire or want more.
I just want to add that there are certain locations in the domes the Kuambu will go, as will be seen in TPC. Loney said that because Ukyabha Island was known to not be one of them. (The reason why will be revealed in later stories.)
I think this is partially such an astounding (and so, so cool) revelation for me because I didn't realize there were other domes before this. I thought they had been added to the robot's body during the Event, but it seems like this was known earlier? It also answers the mystery from Mindfire of how there can be Circles in the Zone of Darkness to the east and west of Metru Nui. There are Aqua Magna domes corresponding to them. I guess from an aerial POV, Mata Nui is rocking some headgear now. =P
:lol: Yeah, I had to intentionally keep it confusing whether they could have somehow fit in the robot or not. If you had read extremely carefully looking for it, you could have probably figured it out, but if you had you might have more easily guessed the big reveal in EB's epilogue ahead of time, so I wanted to keep that more ambiguous.
Oh yeah, and the acid attacks. We don't know yet what has caused that, but probably will find out more in this Saga. Can I ask - was Bhukasa's dome in the robot?
Nope; in the AM domes. The inside of the robot is for the most part identical to canon. :)This was vaguely implied in Bhukasa's Chapter 49 flashbacks, as he traded for a while in the other AM domes, but when he heard from that particular Nhoakrus Matoran (who you might recognize :P) that there were new domes now connected by those portals, that was soon after the system of the pillar islands and portals had been set up by the Unknown and Op'hasa.
However, I've had problems to remember all the mysteries and plot threads throughout the epic. There are many POVs, many intertwining plots and that results in the fact that I sometimes can't remember what went on in the last chapter when the next is posted. It may be a problem of mine, but it didn't happen to me with some of your previous epics.
Yeah, doesn't surprise me and thanks for that feedback. It was very experimental and I don't plan to repeat it. I do hope it has good re-read value so eventually if you feel like doing so, with some of the knowledge revealed later in it, you might be able to better understand the earlier chapters (this is somewhat intentional). :)
Also, I didn't understand something inthe final chapters. We get to know that The Lone Captain wanted to capture Buhkasha and, later on, revenge, but I don't understand why he wanted to flood the Matoran Universe.
He's a madman and a serial killer; he gets a kick out of causing the most amount of destruction he can, and nothing yet had satisfied him, not even genocide of Bhukasa's people. However, understanding his motives wasn't really the main thing I wanted to focus on -- rather, understanding Bhukasa was, and there was a larger strategic reason for it that isn't supposed to be clear yet.Hint: He had a pretty strong feeling that he would not succeed. Actually committing that genocide was not his main goal. :ziplip:Had it worked, though, he would have been okay with it. And that too should be a clue to certain things. :) You'll start to see some more hidden hints about this in TPC.
I do hope that the next epic is slightly more toned down in terms of number of threads and connections between them, though
With one exception, TPC has only three POV threads. :) It's a long story and a lot happens in it, but it's mostly all through just those three characters' eyes. Hopefully that will be much easier to follow. And as said before, the one after that, Falling Sun, is entirely from one (new) character's POV. :)
If I can just offer a quick summary of how I remember the middle of the story: 8 Matoran get captured by Kuambu right away, stuck on prison island with new allies, Bhukasa sails to Kriitunga island first after evading Lone Ship, avoids cannon blasts, Mhondomva is "defeated," Mata Nui & Kriitunga island unite forces, Bhukasa sails to Memory Island, then to prison island, almost frees 8 Matoran but gets sunken by Lone Ship, 8 Matoran saved by Unknown and sent on CHECKing journey, Bhukasa discovers black metal tech, 8 Matoran encounter pirates, Hujo discovers BE and recovers himself, connects with Niaka, all rendezvous at Hole in the Ocean, chronoserum duel begins.
Correct except he sailed to Memory Island first before going to Kriitunga Island (though that wasn't the original plan).
About the chronoserum duel - that is another thing I wanted to mention. I feel like I missed something because it seemed as though Ito and others were suddenly talking about the duel as if it was standard knowledge... not to me. Did this happen before and I'm just forgetting it? What is the meaning of a chronoserum duel?
That's just because many things are common knowledge to Ito and the Unknown that aren't to others. Bhukasa did not know about it, which was why Volitaos had to explain it to him.A small version of it did happen with Rathoa and Kopaka near the end of Captain of Treason, but neither of them understood it. And you could argue that the entire Twisted Island showdown was in many ways a duel, set off by chronoserum, though with an actual Event involved. Full duels, understood by both parties involved, have happened before in Paracosmos history, but not to the awareness of the reader at this point.There have also been other duels featured in the story but the readers have been kept from understanding that it was going on yet. :evilgrin:Basically the duel is triggered, whether consciously or subconsciously, by someone who has a major beef with someone else, when in the presence of chronoserum and having interacted with it in some way before. (As Kopaka had with the dream thing earlier in CoT, and Bhukasa had by BE inhabiting his mind.) It alters reality in just enough ways to ensure they can't escape the setting of the duel until one suffers a clear defeat. (With Kopaka it was getting his sword back from Rathoa, if bad memory serves lol; here it was either the Lone Captain causing major harm to those Bhukasa was trying to protect, possibly up to as much as flooding the MU, or the Captain being protocaged and shunned by the other Kuambu.)It also gives both duelers one major change based on their own imagination. Bhukasa wasn't consciously aware of this in time, so his change was very small; the shards of the Mask of Telecommunication turned into a functioning Mask of Translation. (Also due to the somewhat evil nature of chronoserum, it tends to give bad guys a much bigger change.) The Lone Captain created a modification of a farm Combine machine that could be used as a powerful weapon. It's implied that he is very adept at the use of duels, which should tell you something, as he pulled in some of Ito's Le-Wahi machines to make part of the Combine, and this allowed him to cheat and pull in an extra amount of those, leaving some intact but teleported into the prison.(In Kopaka and Rathoa's case, the imagination projection machine that Nhayaka made for Rathoa tampered with the duel to cause a single balanced change; the ability of both of them to alter the appearance of their surroundings in strange ways. Kopaka used it in some uncontrolled, chaotic ways briefly, and Rathoa used it to show images of Kopaka's past.)And this is just one of several major effects chronoserum can cause (besides Events) that the story is starting to explore more deeply. :) There are several defined powers; Duels are one of two most important ones. The other one was actually used here by the Lone Captain, though I can't explain it until future story. Edited by bonesiii

The Destiny of Bionicle (chronological retelling of Bionicle original series, 9 PDFs of 10 chapters each on Google Drive)Part 1 - Warring with Fate | Part 2 - Year of Change | Part 3 - The Exploration Trap | Part 4 - Rise of the Warlords | Part 5 - A Busy Matoran | Part 6 - The Dark Time | Part 7 - Proving Grounds | Part 8 - A Rude Awakening | Part 9 - The Battle of Giants

My Bionicle Fanfiction  (Google Drive folder, eventually planned to have PDFs of all of it)

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