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Tahu vs. Tahu: Generation One


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Click this banner (or this link) to be taken to a new epic, released in 2015. It is a re-imagining of the events depicted in this topic. It is standalone, and is what I would call the "definitive" version, even if it is not yet complete. If you do read it, please note that reading this topic is NOT necessary.


Back on December 19, 2010, I posted the first chapter to a comedy I had titled Tahu vs. Tahu. It was a massive hit, reaching the hot topics list on the front page of BZPower 9 times and amassing 13 pages between the first two seasons. Unfortunately, that original topic was lost in the Great Downtime of 2011; however, when the forums returned I re-launched it with the third season. That topic can be seen here, where it managed 12 pages for the final two seasons. 


However, that topic is no longer readable due to the formatting errors that hit BZPower in late 2013, and since the loss of the archives, the first two seasons cannot be found at all. As such, I have decided to re-release the entire thing in this topic - right from the very beginning to the very end. Assuming that I remember to keep up with the schedule, I shall post a single chapter each day; after the completion of each season, I shall also release its related specials - chapters that were unrelated to the main story and served purely as comic relief.


Please keep in mind while reading that the comedy itself remains unchanged. It was originally written several years ago, and I have left it entirely intact. Hopefully it is still mildly fun to laugh at the horrible writing.


Anyway... without further ado, I present the original Tahu vs. Tahu.


(Oh, and I will update this post with links to each chapter as they are released.)

Click to see banners & chapters


Originally released December 19, 2010-January 30, 2011


Specials: 1-2-3



Originally released February 2, 2011-April 16,2011

1-2-3-4-5-6 / 7-8-9-10

Specials: 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8



Originally released October 15, 2011-February 22, 2012


Specials: 1-2-3-4



Originally released February 27, 2012-September 27, 2012


Deleted Scenes: 4.5 - 6.5

Specials: 1-2



Originally released November 2, 2012-November 23, 2012




Originally released December 4, 2012-February 16, 2013




Originally released April 1, 2013-October 2013 (partially lost)



Tahu vs. Tahu – Civil War

Chapter 1 – The New Arrivals


10 Years Ago....


The boy rushed into the giant mansion, dragging several giant plastic bags behind him. Inside were several canisters and boxes, full of brand new toys.


Inside these boxes were rahi, such as Nui-Rama. Inside the canisters were the Toa Mata, all six. One would become the leader of all the bionicles to come, never challenged, never fought with.


Of course, if it were to be that way forever, then this comedy would end before it began, so of course things are going to get spiced up a bit.


Tahu Mata yawned and stood the first bionicle to ever be built in the mansion. He glanced around, and saw his fellow toa still in their canisters. He walked over to Lewa’s, sidestepping the bumps in the blanket, and twisted the canister open, with great difficulty.


After several minutes, Lewa was standing next to him.

“Hello.” Tahu said.

“Hello.” Lewa said. “This is... boring.”

“Yeah.” Tahu agreed. “But once more of us are built, we’re gonna have a party!”


And so, half an hour later, the rahi had all flown away, and the six toa were sitting with the turaga, who’d also arrived.

“I say we vote for a leader.” Turaga Onewa decided. “I vote Tahu, since he was the first open.”

“No, really, you don’t need to.” Tahu laughed.

“I’m serious.” Onewa told him.

“Alright then.” Turaga Matau said. “It is official. Tahu Mata is our leader!”


“This... should be interesting.” Tahu muttered.




“Alright.” Tahu Mata yelled, as the gathered bionicles below him fell silent.

“It’s been ten great years.” Tahu Mata announced. “We’ve announced Lewa Mata as my second in command; we’ve named several others as a lower level government. We’ve lived in peace and prosperity. Now, as you all know, bionicle is ending.”

There were prompt boos.

“Hero Factory sucks!” someone yelled.

Tahu Mata nodded. “However, we must prepare. We are receiving six new arrivals today, made as a tribute to some of us. I do not know who yet.”


“I hope it’s me.” Ahkmou interrupted.

“As I was saying.” Tahu Mata continued. “That is not the only thing; once Hero Factory arrives, we need to be prepared. They may be hostile, and we’ll have no idea how ruthless they are.”

“If they’re anything like us, then they’re gonna kill someone.” Kazi pointed out.


“Hey!” Toa Metru Matau swung into the room. “Shut up! The sets are arriving!”

“Places!” Tahu Mata ordered.


Not one second after Velika had dodged out of sight; several bags flew into the room and landed on the bed. Several black and yellow canisters fell off the bed and to the floor with a crash.

“Looks like some are species sets.” Tahu Mata said, crawling out of the shadows.

“Hey, the yellow one’s a Rahkshi!” Takanuva exclaimed. “It’s... yellow. And it doesn’t have a name. Just Rahkshi.”


“Looks like the series is called ‘Stars’.” Kazi announced. “Small set remakes.”

“Well, that does look rather spot on.” A Panrahk replied, gazing at the Rahkshi Stars. “Let’s open them.”

“Ugh... there’s twenty-seven.” Tahu Mistika groaned. “This isn’t going to be fun.”

“Relax.” The Panrahk assured him. “We Rahkshi will handle it.”


“What’s the black one?” Tahu Mata asked, approaching.

“Skrall Stars.” Kazi told him.

A cheer went up from the Skrall sets from the winter of 2009. One ran over.

“Hey!” it exclaimed. “This isn’t right! These Skrall are black and green! Only Tuma is black and green!”

A groan went up from the Skrall sets from the winter of 2009. The Skrall ran back over.


“Toa Hordika! You, the Visorak, and the Vahki can build the Skrall Stars.” Tahu Mata ordered.

“Yes.” Nuju Hordika grinned. “We get to build some of the last sets!”

“There’s a blue one!” Kazi called. “It’s called... Piraka Stars.”

“Awesome!” Vezok grinned. “Wait... why is it named after the line?”

Kazi shrugged. “I dunno. But it looks individual; there’s only one.”


Vezok glanced at the canister.

“Oh, that’s Nektann.” He told them. “Wonder why his canister doesn’t have a name?”

Vezok shrugged and carried the canister over to Zaktan and Avak. The other three piraka ran over to join in.

“The white one is... a Takanuva Stars.” Kazi called.

Both Takanuva and Takanuva Mistika rushed over. Both paused.


“Why does he look like a toa of ice?” Takanuva Mistika asked.

“Yeah.” Takanuva replied. “He should be white and gold, or at the very least, white and gunmetal.”

“Just build him.” Ackar said wearily.


“The green one?” Tahu Mata asked as several Rahkshi Stars and Skrall Stars stood and began glancing around.

“Gresh Stars.” Kazi answered.

Lewa, Matau, and Lesovikk snapped their fingers, muttering. Gresh rolled his eyes and stepped forward.


“What the heck?!” he exclaimed. “My weapon is silver! That stinks! And so does my all lime green helmet! Ugh....”

And with that, the jungle Glatorian sat down and began to build.


“The red one?” Tahu Mata asked.

Kazi glanced in, and then paused.

“Kazi?” Tahu Mata prompted.

“Yeah... um... it’s you.” He stammered.

“What do you mean?” Tahu Mata asked.


Kazi turned the canister and showed him.

“Looks like after a decade, you’re gonna face a challenge for your leadership.” Nuparu Inika pointed out.


To Be Continued....

Edited by Lucina
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Chapter 2 – Set Divisions


The Bedroom


Tahu Mata stepped back as the final Stars set stood. Tahu Stars stretched and yawned, much like Tahu Mata had ten years ago.

“This place looks cosy.” Tahu Stars said. “You guys must be the other bionicles, no?”

“We are.” Tahu Mata answered.

“Ah! Leader Tahu Mata!” Tahu Stars exclaimed. “Unfortunately, whether you like it or not, I’m clearly here to take your place as leader.”


“I doubt it.” Tahu Mata snorted. “I’ve lead the bionicles for an entire decade. We’ve lived in peace. If you want to lead, it will be decided by a democratic vote.”

“Ha!” Tahu Stars snorted. “I was made in your image, only better- I was clearly meant to lead in your stead!”

“Then be elected by vote.” Tahu Mata growled.

“How about a battle?” Tahu Stars asked, pulling out a gold Hau. “Wait... you don’t have golden armour, do you? I do, though. Looks like I win.”

“Yeah, right.” Lewa Mata stepped up. “Golden armour doesn’t mean you get to lead; Lhikan, Takanuva, Reidak; so many others would be leading this place if it was because of golden armour.”


“I was the first one to ever arrive.” Tahu Mata explained. “That is why I have lead.”

“Yeah. Makes sense then that I was the last one.” Tahu Stars nodded. “Which is why I should lead now, don’t you think?”

“By vote!”



Tahu Mata swung his right arm, smashing the completely golden armoured Tahu Stars in the face. Tahu Stars went flying through the air.

“Stupid!” Tahu Stars snarled. “My sword is bigger! I actually have armour! I’m bulkier! My mask is more useful!”

“I have better creation parts!” Tahu Mata argued. “I have functionality! I’m simply more fun to play with!”


“Popularity contest.” Hakann muttered.

Ahkmou, Kazi, and a nearby Krekka nodded in agreement. A moment later, Pridak jumped the giant Krekka, who moaned in confusion and ran straight into a wall. After a couple moments being beaten on by the Barraki, Avak and Hakann pulled Krekka away from them.

“Sit down and behave.” They ordered.


Meanwhile, the duel between Tahu Mata and Tahu Stars was drawing to an explosive conclusion. Tahu Mata was shoved away by Tahu Stars, and was instantly piled on by every single Rahkshi set. In response, Lewa Mata, Nidhiki, Gali Nuva, and Pohatu Mistika with his Rockoh T3 jumped straight into them, pulling Tahu Mata out of the mess and hovering in the air.

“Whoever wants a fresh start and a fresh leader, come with me!” Tahu Stars roared. “Whoever does not come has chosen war!”

“Then war it shall be!” Tahu Mata spat, grabbing Nidhiki and shoving him down.


Nidhiki crashed down on top of Tahu Stars, snapping two of his legs and one arm. The dark hunter successfully grabbed each golden armour piece and began to limp away.

“Hey! Come back here!” A Turahk yelled.

Nidhiki turned and grabbed the Turahk with his claw. He crushed it a second later, snapping it in half. After another minute, five more Turahk had failed miserably to avenge their brother’s death. Wisely, the other Rahkshi stayed back.


“Join the Stars!” A Skrall Stars called.

“Never!” the other Skrall snapped. “You guys suck, you silly clones!”

“Take this!” the Skrall Stars responded, leaping at the larger sets.

The Skrall set laughed as the Skrall Stars landed a foot away.



A moment later, a Skrall Stars was in pieces. Tahu Stars furiously signalled a retreat, and to Tahu Mata’s instant dismay, what looked like half of the remaining bionicles followed him.

“Kazi followed him?!” he exclaimed. “That’s insane!”

Lewa Mata nodded.

“Take us down to the spare room.” Tahu Mata ordered. “Everyone, follow me!”


The Spare Bedroom


“Alright.” Tahu Mata sighed. “Lines have clearly been drawn. We bionicles have been divided in two by the arrival of my... remake. I had hoped that we would all be united, ready to face Hero Factory when they came. We shall have to end this fast.”

“What should we do?” Lesovikk asked.

“First, Lewa Mata and I will decide generals, sets who will lead others into battle.” Tahu Mata announced. “Next chapter, we’ll launch our first strike.”

“Next chapter?” Hydraxon asked in confusion.


“Sorry.” Tahu Mata shook his head. “I mean tomorrow.”

“Ah, that makes more sense.” Hydraxon nodded.

“Nidhiki, are you alright?” Tahu Mata called.

“Oh, yeah.” The dark hunter responded. “Just give me a little bit to patch myself up, and I’ll be good.”

“Awesome.” Tahu Mata replied. “Because I’m going to want you out there. You’ve got four legs and a hovering ability; that’ll help a lot.”


The Bedroom


“Here’s the deal.” Tahu Stars hissed. “Toa Mahri, three Guurahk, four Rahkshi Stars, and seven Lerahk, I want you downstairs now. Ambush them while we can. I’ll follow up with a team of ten Panrahk, and two Turahk. Then, Takanuva Stars will lead the Barraki, Nocturn, the Voya-Nui matoran, and Keetongu in a third party. They’ll be completely lost and out of control. With luck, we can win this by tomorrow.”

To Be Continued....

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Chapter 3 – Battle #1


The Spare Bedroom


It was chaos, as in every battle. Tahu Mata’s side had been taken completely by surprise by the ambush by Tahu Stars. However, when it’s two small groups against an entire hoard of enemies, you’re pretty much screwed.


So, Tahu Stars had sent for backup, and now at least half of his army was attacking, and unfortunately, the battle was, so far, a tie.


“Lewa! Kopaka! Let’s go!” Tahu Mata ordered.

The three Toa Mata jumped off of the bed, with Kopaka and Tahu landing easily on the floor below. Lewa had to dodge out of the way of Lewa Mistika’s Axalara on the way down, and crashed down beside them.

“That hurt.” He groaned, standing to his feet. “Good thing none of my limbs are very breakable.”


“Hey!” Kopaka Phantoka halted. “You three!”

Kopaka Phantoka whistled, and in an instant, the rest of the Phantoka were behind him.

“Six on three!” Tahu cheered.

A split second later, Gali, Onua, and Pohatu Mata were standing behind them.

“Mata, Combine!” Tahu Mata yelled, even as Tahu, Gali, and Onua Mistika arrived.


The 2008 Toa Nuva stood and watched as the six Toa Mata formed into the Toa Kaita Akamai and Wairuha.

“You know, I wish we could do that.” Lewa Phantoka told them.

“Yeah, well all they had to do was release me in the summer and Gali in the winter, and voila.” Pohatu Phantoka replied. “But nope, they had to get rid of combiners in 2006.”

“Silence, fools!” Akamai snapped. “It’s time you foolish traitors learned the errors of your ways!”


Akamai kicked Lewa Phantoka away, and the toa of air flew into the wall, were several cracks could be heard.

“Darn it!” Lewa Phantoka complained. “I can’t believe this.”

“Believe it, punk.” Wairuha growled. “It’s about to get rough.”

Wairuha grabbed Lewa Phantoka and threw him into Onua Mistika. The Toa of earth turned around, helped his Phantoka friend up, and the two began to battle Wairuha, while the other four struggled with Akamai.


By the Door....


Meanwhile, Matau Hordika and Nuju Hordika were battling Nuju Metru and Matau Metru by the door.

“Let. Us. Out.” Nuju Hordika grunted. “So that. We. Can. Attack. Your. Base.”

“You seriously think we’d ever let you do that?” Nuju Metru exclaimed.

“Uh... yes.” Matau Hordika decided.


As this exchange was occurring, a huge gust of wind smashed into the door mysteriously, and it began to open. Nuju Hordika leapt forward, tackling Nuju Metru to the ground.

“Sucker!” the ice Hordika exclaimed. “Now you- wait a minute. Crud, I just killed myself.”


The door smashed into the two toa of ice a second later. Nuju Hordika was smashed into the wall and shattered, while Nuju Metru was dragged along by the door.

“AUGH! My leg seriously just got snapped by the door! AUGH! It’s so painful!” he cried, crawling away, clearly missing the ball joint from one of his legs.

“What the- dude, his leg just like, snapped!” Matau Metru exclaimed. “That’s gross!”

“Indeed it is.” Matau Hordika sighed.

“Shut up!”


“Uh, guys?” Nuju Metru asked. “I’m missing my foot. A little help please?”

“No way!” Matau Hordika exclaimed. “However, I can kill you if you want.”

“Go die.” Nuju Metru muttered.

Matau Metru turned to his Hordika self and grabbed him.

“Uh, what are you doing?” Matau Hordika asked.


Matau Metru responded by throwing him into the wall. Matau Hordika shattered exactly like Nuju Hordika, minus the door.

“There we go.” Matau Metru dusted off his hands before turning to Nuju Metru. “Now I’ll take you back to base.”


The Kaita Battle....


Akamai was slammed into Onua Mistika, shattering back into Tahu, Onua, and Pohatu Mata. The three of them grabbed Onua Mistika, who took several hits from Midak Blasters and the like until his allies realized they were hitting him.

“Now.” Tahu Mata ordered.

The three Toa Mata ripped, and Onua Mistika simultaneously lost both arms and a leg. He fell to the floor, sobbing about life being unfair.


Meanwhile, Wairuha had managed to crack every single one of Lewa’s sockets. The Toa Phantoka was now desperately dodging, trying to not get exploded.

“Just get over here and die!” Wairuha exclaimed.

“No!” Lewa Phantoka shot back.


A moment later, Pohatu Mata was sent flying into the Phantoka of air. Lewa Phantoka’s arm snapped off, and in the confusion, he was soon destroyed by Wairuha while Pohatu Mata was pummelled by Kopaka and Pohatu Phantoka.

“Pohatu!” Kopaka Mata shouted, separating from Wairuha.


The Toa Mata of ice jumped onto Pohatu Phantoka, ripping off his Midak blaster and chucking it at Kopaka Phantoka. Both 2008 toa paused as Kopaka Mata grabbed Pohatu Mata and began dragging him away.

“You’ll never take me alive!” Kopaka exclaimed as the 2008 toa closed in.

“We don’t intend to.” Pohatu Phantoka explained.

A moment later, Kopaka Phantoka’s Midak blaster sent Kopaka Mata flying through the air to crash into the computer desk and break into pieces.


“KOPAKA! NOOOOOOOOOOO-” Pohatu Mata was cut off as Pohatu Phantoka used his claws to make his head pop off.

“There.” The two Phantoka smiled, satisfied. “That’s better.”

A moment later, the two of them had been slammed into by the Axalara, ridden by Lewa Mistika.

“You know, I’m a little confused.” Pohatu Phantoka told him. “Why aren’t you with us?”

Lewa Mistika shrugged, ramming them into the wall. Both of Pohatu Phantoka’s arms fell off, and Kopaka Phantoka lost his wings, mask, and blaster. Lewa Mistika pulled away and flew off, leaving the two Phantoka to fall to the ground.


Tahu Mata dodged out of the way as Kopaka and Pohatu Phantoka crashed to the ground, narrowly avoiding being crushed. Gali Mata instantly used her hooks to rip off Pohatu Phantoka’s head. She was about to do the same to Kopaka Phantoka when she was grabbed by Gali Mistika, who threw her into Tahu and turned to Tahu Mistika.

“Let’s get out of here.” She suggested, gesturing around. “You and I are the only ones not injured from our group.”

“You’re right.” Tahu Mistika agreed, sighing. “This is so lame. Let’s go. Grab Onua.”


Tahu stood to his feet weakly as the two 2008 Nuva ran off, dragging Onua Mistika and Kopaka Phantoka behind them.

“Well, we got two.” He muttered.

“So did them.” Onua Mata responded, pointing to the pieces of both Pohatu and Kopaka Mata.

Tahu Mata sighed.

“Day 1, and already our team has lost two members. At this rate, we won’t last three days.”


“Well if you want, I can kill you now and take over.” Tahu Stars said lazily, walking up.

“It’s four on one.” Lewa Mata spat. “We’ll take you on.”

“Actually, I have one of my favourite allies with me.” Tahu Stars replied.

In response, Takanuva Mistika stepped out of the shadows. Lewa Mata gulped.

“As you can see, both of his hands are free to crush you.” Tahu Stars explained.

“This will be fun.” Takanuva Mistika murmured.


Tahu Mata signalled, and a moment later, Takanuva Mistika had been jumped by Icarax, Vamprah, and Bitil. The gigantic Toa of light staggered, ripping the makuta off of him. As soon as one was gone, another took its place. Soon, Mutran and Chirox had arrived to join in the fun.

“As you can see, we have you outnumbered again.” Tahu Mata replied.


“Fine!” Tahu Stars threw his hands up. “I’ll leave. But I’ll be back.”

“Of course you will.” Tahu Mata snorted. “With or without that terrible Terminator quote.”

As Tahu Stars whistled and his army began filing out of the spare bedroom, Tahu Mata climbed onto the computer desk to overlook his army.


“No casualties?” he asked Takanuva.

“None.” Takanuva shook his head. “Except for four deaths; Pohatu Mata, Kopaka Mata, Matau Hordika, and Nuju Hordika.”

Tahu Mata sighed. “Very well.”


“Alright.” He announced. “It’s been awhile since anyone has seen Vezon and Fenrakk, or Vezon and Kardas. I want to assemble a team to find them.”


“Can I go?” Tahu Nuva asked.

Tahu Mata nodded. “Take the rest of the Toa Nuva as well as Maxilos and Spinax.”

“Yes sir!” Tahu Nuva shouted.


Tahu Mata watched as the other five Toa Nuva joined Tahu Nuva, and they approached Maxilos and Spinax before leaving.

“Alright. Now, Takanuva, Takua and Pewku, and Hahli Inika can be on guard duty. The rest of you... well, try and live your daily lives. Whatever those may be.”

To Be Continued....

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Chapter 4 – Tale of the Toa Nuva


Somewhere in the Mansion....


“So, where exactly are we going, Tahu?” Lewa Nuva asked.

“I dunno.” Tahu Nuva shrugged. “Maxilos, get Spinax on the trail. That’ll make this thing so much easier.”

“How?” Maxilos asked in a robotic voice. “We’re frickin’ toys. How is he supposed to catch a scent if he’s made of plastic?”

Tahu Nuva sighed. “Fine. Whatever.”


“You know, I have a feeling this chapter is going to be very boring.” Pohatu Nuva sighed.

“I agree.” Kopaka Nuva nodded.

“Both of you, just shut up.” Tahu Nuva ordered. “We have no idea where-”


Tahu Nuva was cut off as ten Guurahk burst out of the shadows, surrounding them. Pohatu Nuva swore loudly, kicking one into the wall and destroying it.

“No swearing!” Tahu Nuva ordered. “Just fight!”

Pohatu Nuva muttered something under his breath, before continuing the battle.


Maxilos stabbed one with his staff, tossing it into three others, allowing Tahu and Onua Nuva to destroy them.

“Good work!” Tahu Nuva exclaimed.”Five left!”

“Make that four!” Kopaka grunted, throwing one into Spinax, who tore it to pieces and tried to eat it.

“Cannibalism is a no-no.” Maxilos scolded, slapping the rahi.

Spinax growled before spitting out the pieces.


Lewa and Gali made short work of three others, leaving one left.

“Who sent you?!” Tahu Nuva demanded.

“I no tell you.” The Guurahk hissed. “Eleven is always loyal.”

“Obviously not.” Tahu Nuva snorted. “You betrayed Tahu Mata.”

And with that, the final Guurahk was felled.


“You know, we just slaughtered ten Rahkshi.” Pohatu Nuva said thoughtfully. “How did we struggle with six in the storyline?”

“I’m not sure.” Gali Nuva shrugged. “Come on, let’s go.”


The Bedroom


“WHAT?!” Tahu Stars roared. “What do you mean they killed all of them?!”

“Uh, all ten Guurahk are gone, sir.” Hafu and Hewkii muttered.

“Be gone, matoran.” Tahu Stars waved his hand.

Hafu and Hewkii gratefully backed away from the toa of fire’s fury, as Tahu Stars called out for others.


“You called?” Umbra and Roodaka asked.

“Yes.” Tahu Stars replied. “I want you to take seven Rahkshi Stars, seven Panrahk, and seven Lerahk and attack the Toa Nuva. While the Rahkshi do that, you two can battle Maxilos.”

“Very well.” Roodaka said smoothly. “We are leaving now.”


Later, the Toa Nuva Quest:


“Yep. I was right.” Pohatu Nuva sighed. “This is going to be boring.”

“You really have to stop saying that.” Lewa Nuva told him. “Last time you said that, we were ambushed by ten Rahkshi.”

“Why not try twenty-one, then?” a voice called.


“Roodaka!” Tahu Nuva exclaimed.

“Of course.” The titan jumped down. “Now!”

Maxilos dove to the side, narrowly avoiding a speeding Umbra, who was jumped by Spinax and sent smashing into three Panrahk, destroying the Rahkshi instantly. Roodaka screamed in fury and grabbed the hound, throwing it into Maxilos. The robot snarled as he dodged Spinax, who rolled to his feet and growled.


“Time to die!” Maxilos yelled.

He brought his sword down, only to be blocked by Umbra’s staff. Roodaka blasted him repeatedly with her rhotuka, which bounced off harmlessly. Maxilos grabbed the staff and ripped it out of Umbra’s hands snapping it into three pieces.

“You fool!” Umbra exclaimed.


Umbra jumped onto Maxilos’ back as the robot turned to deal with Roodaka, tackling him as Roodaka jammed her claws onto his neck, threatening to kill him.

“Who’s tough now?” she laughed.

“I am.” Maxilos grunted.

A moment later, Spinax slammed into Roodaka, as Maxilos ripped off her claws and threw himself backward, landing on top of Umbra with a crunch. Umbra responded by ripping off one of his shoulder armour pieces.


“This the best you’ve got?” Maxilos muttered.

Spinax flew past and smashed into the wall, losing a leg and collapsing to the floor, not getting up. Roodaka picked up her claws as Maxilos lost his other piece of shoulder armour to Umbra.

“We’ve got you now.” Roodaka hissed.

A second later, Lewa Nuva had tackled Roodaka, sending her sprawling with fury. She grabbed the Toa Nuva of air and chucked him into Spinax, where he lay still.


“What do you want?” Tahu Nuva questioned, with the rest of the Toa Nuva behind him.

“Why, you dead, of course.” Roodaka twirled her claw. “Obviously we’re with Tahu Stars.”

“We’ve just finished off your Rahkshi.” Tahu Nuva informed her. “How well do you think two titans will do compared to thirty-one Rahkshi?! We have no casualties, fools! It’s your turn to be pummelled!”


Maxilos stood, throwing Umbra at Roodaka’s feet. The black female titan set stared at them for a moment, her eyes narrowed in fury; a moment later, she was dragging Umbra away behind her.

“Wow. I thought she was going to fight, not run away like a baby.” Pohatu Nuva chuckled. “That’s not Roodaka.”

“Got you!” a voice yelled with glee.


The Toa Nuva were scattered, Gali and Pohatu being sent flying straight into a wall, where they fell to the floor, unconscious.

“Looks like I’m gonna be the one getting a raise!” Perditus chuckled, looking over at them from the Thornatus. “How’s it going, losers?”

“Getting better.” Maxilos growled, grabbing the vehicle.

“What are you- hey, stop that!” Perditus exclaimed.


“Leave us.” Maxilos threatened, as several pieces fell off the Thornatus. “Or you and this vehicle will be destroyed.”

“Fine, sheesh.” Perditus muttered, speeding away. “I guess that is enough battling for one chapter.”


“Let’s go.” Tahu Nuva ordered, grabbing Lewa and shaking him awake. “We need to keep moving.”

Maxilos snapped Spinax’s leg back on as Gali and Pohatu were woken, and the group continued on their way.


The Bedroom


Tahu Stars sat, deep in thought. Roodaka and Umbra had been sent away for punishment; losing twenty-one Rahkshi in one attack and being beaten to a pulp themselves was embarrassing.

“Nektann.” He called. “Lead three of the Skrall Stars, and find the Vezon’s yourselves.”

“What if we get killed?” A Skrall Stars asked.

“Don’t.” Tahu Stars ordered. “If he tries to kill you, get back here, and we’ll prepare to convince them another way.”

“Very well.” Nektann nodded. “I’ll leave immediately.”


Somewhere in the Basement...


“Uh... hello?” Tahu Nuva called.

Spinax growled softly as two huge shapes began to appear out of the shadows.

“Uh... I don’t like this a lot.” Lewa Nuva muttered, backing up.


Maxilos’ eyes narrowed, and he prepared his weapon, smacking it into a Vezon as the skakdi leapt out from the shadows at them, riding atop of Fenrakk.

“SCATTER!” Tahu Nuva bellowed.

To Be Continued...

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Chapter 5 – The Art of Vezon(s)


The Basement...


The Toa Nuva dodged out of the way just in time, while Spinax got chomped by the Fenrakk and was thrown away into Maxilos. Nearby, Nektann and three Skrall Stars were running towards them screaming, trying to escape the even worse terror: Vezon & Kardas.


“You know, I really do not like this.” Pohatu Nuva muttered.

“Pohatu!” Tahu Nuva snarled. “Use your mask, and share it with us! We can outmanoeuvre them!”

“I’m made of plastic!” Pohatu Nuva shot back. “How the heck do I use my mask?!”

“You know, I’m starting to wonder why any of the sets can fly.” Onua Nuva said thoughtfully, stepping between them.


Tahu Nuva shrugged, a moment before he was yanked away by Vezon’s chains. The Fenrakk spider stomped on his arm, removing it. The Toa Nuva of fire angrily stabbed it in return, prompting it to chomp on him and throw him into Pohatu and Onua.

“Not good.” Pohatu groaned.


Meanwhile, the other three Toa Nuva were battling the three Skrall Stars, while Nektann ran in circles nearby screaming as the Kardas dragon stomped after him.

“Take this!” Lewa Nuva prodded with his sword. “And that! And this! And that! And this! And... I sound like a broken record, broken record, broken-”


He was cut off by the Stars Skrall smacking him in the face with its sword.

“WILL YOU SHUT UP?” it groaned. “Gosh, you’re so annoying!”

“That’s what I do best, do best, do best.” Lewa Nuva grinned.

“Oh, please no.” the Skrall Stars rolled its eyes.


“AAHHHHHHHHHH!”Nektann screamed, running through them.

Kopaka Nuva reached out and clothes lined the Skakdi with his blade, causing Nektann to somersault through the air and go flying towards the other group.

“OH POO.” A Skrall Stars said, turning.


A split second later the Skrall Stars vanished, replaced by the head of the Kardas dragon, slowly chewing.

“Uh...” Lewa Nuva trailed off.

“RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!” one of the Skrall Stars screamed.


Tahu Nuva was sent flying as Nektann crashed into him, just as the Fenrakk spider stabbed its leg down where he’d been. Instead, it caught the spine of Nektann, who began to weep uncontrollably.

“My time here has been so short!” he cried.


“NOW!” Tahu Nuva bellowed, re-attaching his arm.

Pohatu Nuva and Onua Nuva dived into him, and the three became a whirlwind of pieces which whipped into Vezon & Fenrakk, sending both sprawling. Nektann was knocked into the wall, where he lay on the ground still weeping.


After a moment, Akamai Nuva had formed out of the tornado of parts.

“Let’s do this!” the combiner snarled, rushing to face its enemy.

Vezon & Fenrakk was sent smashing into a wall, where several pieces broke off. A second later, Vezon & Kardas followed it. Akamai Nuva glanced to its right to spot the two remaining Skrall Stars working together with Gali, Lewa, and Kopaka Nuva.


“Form into Wairuha!” Akamai Nuva suggested.

“Nah.” Kopaka shook his head. “I like having my own brain. And I’ve made some new friends.”

At this, both Skrall Stars nodded. Akamai Nuva shrugged.

“Have it your way.” He replied, as Maxilos finally rejoined them, with several pieces added to his armour that looked like they were from Spinax.


As they got up, both of the Vezon’s glanced at each other and nodded.

“Vezon! Vezon! Kooloolimpa!” they chanted, raising their arms.

“Uh... what’s going on?” Lewa Nuva questioned, backing up.


The Spare Bedroom....


“Hey Tahu, what’s that?” Lewa Mata asked.

Tahu Mata glanced up in time to see a huge storm of pieces forming. His eyes went wide.

“Oh crud.”

A couple extra pieces joined the storm, and a second later, it sped out the doorway.

“I will repeat my question.” Lewa Mata decided. “WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT?!?!”

“Looks like creation parts.” Takanuva approached. “The Vezon’s have finally succeeded in that crazy ‘create a slave’ art of theirs.”


The Basement


The storm of pieces slammed into the group, tearing into Maxilos’ armour and sending pieces of him flying in all directions. Kopaka Nuva and the Skrall Stars tackled him to the ground before anymore damage could be done. Meanwhile, Lewa Nuva was sent smashing into one of the Vezon’s, and Akamai Nuva rapidly dissolved back into Pohatu, Tahu, and Onua Nuva.


“Well, snap.” Pohatu Nuva sighed. “I liked not having to think for myself.”

“WATCH AND WEEP!” The Vezon on Kardas bellowed, tearing Lewa away from him and chucking the Toa Nuva of air into Gali.


The storm of parts swarmed together, and formed three beings. One immediately sped off to exit the basement; the Vezon’s frowned at this, until the other two formed, and stood.

“Yes... our plan is nearing completion.” Vezon of Fenrakk’s eyes gleamed.

“Yes... our dear Zeskii was a naughty boy, running away like that...” Vezon of Kardas trailed off. “But don’t worry. I’m sure Flynn and Archmaster will finish you off quite well.”


“Oh crud.” Tahu Nuva responded.


“Shut up!” Archmaster ordered. “First order of business: you fools die!”

Tahu Nuva dodged out of the way, dragging one of the Skrall Stars with him. Archmaster stabbed down with his spear right where they had been.

“Oh, come on.” Flynn said obnoxiously. “Those Toa are clearly weak at the neck, and at each limb. Attack there.”


“If they dodge Flynn, there’s nothing I can do.” Archmaster growled.

“Look, it’s like this.” Flynn said cheerfully.

Flynn suddenly leapt forward must faster than his size should’ve allowed; several gears were clearly the cause, as was a strange electric energy about him.


“This one seems a little odd.” Kopaka Nuva murmured, leaning forward.

Flynn tackled the Toa Nuva of ice, yanking off both of his arms and his mask before both Skrall Stars attacked, stabbing into his neck. The titan grabbed one of the Skrall and chucked it behind him, where it crashed into Onua.


“No!” Tahu Nuva yelled, starting.

As Pohatu jumped into the fray ahead of him, Tahu found himself being dragged back by Archmaster.

“Come here!” the creation said shortly, pulling Lewa as well.

“Oh poo.” Lewa Nuva muttered.


Tahu Nuva turned and desperately stabbed into Archmaster’s arm. The creation glanced down and shrugged before grabbing and slamming Tahu Nuva into the wall. The Toa Nuva of fire’s mask flew off, as did both of his arms. Lewa Nuva prevented further damage by tackling Archmaster, smashing the creation into the wall next.

“Ouch.” Archmaster groaned, several orange and brown pieces popping off of him. “Darn it!”


Meanwhile, Flynn had taken out Kopaka and a Skrall Stars with ease, and was currently duelling the remaining three Toa Nuva and the last Skrall Stars with one hand, attempting to read a poster on the wall behind him at the same time.

“This is both humiliating and infuriating.” Pohatu Nuva muttered. “I’d say combine, but we can’t.”

“Why even mention it?” Onua grunted.

Pohatu shrugged, just before he was kicked by Flynn right into a helpless Tahu Nuva.


“Tahu!” Pohatu gasped, turning. “No!”


The Spare Bedroom...


Tahu Mata stood as several bionicles screamed and ran for their lives as a strange being appeared.

“You!” Tahu Mata yelled. “Who are you?!”

The being appeared to be a combination of the late Nuju Hordika, Matau Hordika, Pohatu Mata, and Kopaka Mata.


“I am Zeskii.” The figure announced.

“Are you a Zesk?” Whenua Hordika asked.

“Yes. I am definitely a Zesk.” The being said sarcastically. “That is why I am clearly a Toa.”

“Good grief.” Whenua Hordika muttered, turning away.


“What do you want?” Tahu Mata questioned.

“I was created by the Great Vezon’s.” Zeskii told him. “However, they are using my two brothers to kill your Toa Nuva and their allies. I myself managed to escape their influence.”


“Guest Star powers. Don’t ask me to explain them. All I can say is, if you leave the Toa Nuva down there alone without help, because of my brother’s guest star powers, the Toa Nuva are all going to die.”


Tahu Mata groaned.

“I think it’s safe to say that the Vezon’s are not going to help us.” Lewa Mistika told him, approaching.

Tahu Mata nodded.

“Antroz!” he called.


The Phantoka Antroz stepped out of the shadows, and the Mistika Antroz with the Jetrax T6 flew up.

“Yeah?” they both asked.

“Both of you go down to the basement and aid the Nuva.” Tahu Mata ordered. “Take Vakama and Nokama Hordika, and Lewa Mata can go with you as well. Use the Jetrax.”

Both makuta nodded, and whistled. Lewa Mata stepped away from Tahu, as both Vakama and Nokama Hordika jumped off of the computer desk to join the team.


“Alright. Go!” Tahu Mata ordered. “And hurry!”

To Be Continued....

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Chapter 6 – The Battle of the Basement


The Basement


Pohatu and Tahu Nuva ducked out of the way of the Fenrakk Spider, only to be kicked into Archmaster by Kardas.

“There you are!” the Creation growled. “I was looking for you.”

“Yeah, we were avoiding you.” Pohatu confessed, shrugging. “Kinda wanted to post pone your destruction.”

“MY destruction?!” Archmaster chuckled. “Very funny.”


Before Pohatu could react, Archmaster had grabbed him and chucked him into a wall. He was helped up by Kopaka Nuva and the Skrall Stars, while Tahu was pummelled by the guest star.

“This is so painful!” the Toa Nuva of fire cried.

Archmaster responded by ripping off one of his legs and beating him with it.

“Don’t even think about saying it.” Kopaka warned.

Pohatu glared at him, before running over and kicking Archmaster in the face. The creation furiously smashed the Toa Nuva of stone into Pohatu. Neither got up.


“Maybe we should go get help....” one of the Skrall Stars trailed off.

“Yeah, and leave them for dead!” the other exclaimed. “On the upside, we’d live.”

“No.” Kopaka told them. “We stay.”


“Stay, huh?” Mrepic grinned, stepping over. “Nice. Let’s party!”

Kopaka lunged at Mrepic, who easily used his momentum to send him crashing to the floor, still grinning.

“You’re like a frigging skakdi!” Kopaka spat. “Do you ever stop smiling?!”

Mrepic frowned. “That was very unkind.”

“Yeah, whatever.” Kopaka muttered, dusting himself off and standing.

Mrepic responded by kicking him into the Skrall Stars, sending all three crashing into the wall. When one Skrall Stars began to get up, Mrepic stomped on it, before turning to help Archmaster with the remaining three Toa Nuva.


“Well, this ought to be fun.” Lewa Nuva said sarcastically.

“Yeah. Not every day you turn into spare parts.” Onua replied.

“Both of you shut up.” Gali Nuva ordered. “We’ll make it.”

“Yeah, if we leave the others behind.” Lewa Nuva told her. “So in other words, we’re dead.”

“Indeed you are.” Archmaster agreed.


“Hey! Pick on someone your own size!” a voice yelled.

Mrepic and Archmaster turned to see a toa running straight for them.

“That... isn’t any toa I know.” Lewa Nuva said, confused.

“Zeskii to the rescue!” the newcomer yelled, crashing into Mrepic. “Take this!”

“You’re supposed to obey us!” the Vezon on Kardas shrieked. “What the heck?!”


Zeskii ignored him, dodging away into Archmaster as the Jetrax T6 slammed into Mrepic, jamming the creation to the wall.

“Huzzah! We are saved!” Lewa Nuva cried.

Archmaster dove at the Toa Nuva of air with Zeskii still hitting him, only to be stopped as both Skrall Stars jumped him, shoving him to the ground.


“I think it’s time the battle turned in our favour completely.” Kopaka Nuva suggested, heading towards them.

“I agree.” Tahu Nuva muttered. “Let’s- GET OFF OF ME!”

Pohatu Nuva barrelled into the Kardas Dragon, toppling it and removing Tahu Nuva from its grasp.

“Take that.” The Toa Nuva of stone taunted.


“Come on!” it was Lewa Mata. “We need to get out of here!”

“No, we need to make sure these things learn their lesson.” Vakama Hordika muttered, heading for Fenrakk. “Come on, Nokama.”

“Nah, that dragon looks better.” Nokama shook her head.


Both Hordika lunged at their respective targets. The Vezons desperately tried to get away, but being chained to their mounts halted them. As the two skakdi were kept busy, Lewa Mata, the Skrall Stars, and the Toa Nuva turned to the creations.


“Take this! And this! And that! And this! Take that too! And how about this? You suck! Now this! And that! And that! And this!” Zeskii was yelling, as Archmaster failed to shake him off.

“This is going well.” A Skrall Stars said hopefully.

As it said that, Mrepic managed to grab the Jetrax and whip it into a support beam attached to the ceiling. As the vehicle flew through the air, Antroz Phantoka leapt at Mrepic, ripping several pieces off of the giant.


The Jetrax smashed into the pole, and one wing broke off, while several other pieces were sent flying as well. It fell to the floor with a crash, further destroying it.

“Darn it.” Antroz Mistika muttered. “Dead.”

Antroz Phantoka was whipped beside him, while Archmaster succeeded in throwing off Zeskii.


“Now, where were we?” Mrepic grinned.

“Oh, just a timed fire explosion.” Tahu Nuva grinned.

“Uh... what?” Everyone turned to him.

“I’ll tell you if Archmaster and Mrepic stand right beside each other.” Tahu Nuva replied.

“This sounds suspicious, but whatever.” Mrepic rolled his eyes.

“Well, a timed fire explosion is something I can do.” Tahu Nuva explained.


“No it’s not!” Pohatu Nuva exclaimed. “We’re made of plastic!”


“So, how on earth would you-”



They were all sent flying backwards as Mrepic exploded, his parts flying everywhere. Next to him, Archmaster was also destroyed by the blast. The Jetrax was sent spinning repeatedly through the air before crashing into the wall, where it also exploded, sending Antroz Mistika flying to the ground on his own, the Jetrax no longer existent.

“DIMWITS!” the Makuta screamed.

A second later, he was also pieces.

“Argh, team kill.” Tahu Nuva groaned.


Zeskii caught Antroz Phantoka and took the brute force of the blast, several pieces of armour breaking off.

“Lucky you.” The creation grunted.

Antroz Phantoka nodded.


As the explosion ended, the group re-organized and glanced around the basement, which was now littered with pieces.

“AAAAAAAH!” Vakama Hordika cried, flying towards them.

Lewa Nuva and the two Skrall Stars rushed forward to catch him, while Kopaka and Tahu caught Nokama.



Onua Nuva gulped, and Antroz Phantoka took a step back.


“Hum... hum... hum de doodle... hum... hum....” the Vezons both chanted.

The pieces in the basement began to swirl together once more, this time, forming one figure.

“Oh... snap.” Lewa Nuva muttered.

“This doesn’t look fun.” Antroz Phantoka groaned.

“Yeah, I’m gonna be at the back if you guys want me....” Vakama Hordika chuckled nervously.


“Hum, hum, hum, new creation, hum, hum, hum!” The Vezons laughed maniacally. “Say hello to your new painful death, fools! Say hello to Biobeast99!”

“Ninety-nine?” Tahu Nuva questioned.

“No, not ninety-nine!” A Vezon face palmed. “99!”

“They’re the same thing.” Gali Nuva pointed out.

“Shut up already!” the Vezon moaned. “Gosh!”


“Besides, 99?” Tahu Nuva continued. “What about the first 98?”

“Oh, shut up.” The Vezon growled.

“Don’t make fun of my name.” Biobeast99 muttered. “It’s not nice-kind.”

“That’s some horrid treespeak there, bud.” Lewa Nuva grinned. “Might want to work on that.”

“Oh, be quiet-silent.” Biobeast99 sighed. “And let me destroy you.”


Biobeast99 waved his arm, and the Jetrax T6 pieces swirled together; a moment later, the Destral Cycle had been formed, and Biobeast99 had somehow managed to begin riding it.

“Let’s do this!” the creation exclaimed.

Tahu and Pohatu Nuva were flipped into the air by the bike, where the Vezons caught them, and began to duel the two of them.


Meanwhile, Gali, Kopaka, and Lewa Nuva glanced at each other.

“TRANSFORM!” Kopaka Nuva yelled.

The three of them leapt into each other, their pieces mixing and matching, until Wairuha Nuva stood in their place.

“About time I entered this thing.” He muttered, grabbing the bike.

Wairuha Nuva tossed the bike into the air, leaving Biobeast99 to skid across the floor. As he got to his feet, Biobeast99 shoved Nokama Hordika under the bike, which crushed her.



Vakama Hordika was cut off as Biobeast99 stomped on him, snapping him into several pieces.

“How am I still alive...?” Vakama moaned.

“I don’t know, but you won’t be for long.” Biobeast99 hissed.

Wairuha entered the fray, crashing into Biobeast99 as Zeskii leapt on top of him.

“Get off!” Biobeast99 exclaimed, grabbing Zeskii by the throat. “Traitor.”

“No traitor.” Zeskii thrashed. “Just smart.”


Biobeast99’s eyes narrowed, and he twisted Zeskii’s head off. He then let the creation fall to the floor with a thud. Wairuha frowned, frustrated, and then grabbed Biobeast99’s arm and used it to smash him into a wall. The Skrall Stars then leapt up, using their swords to stab the titan in the eyes.


Tahu Nuva and Pohatu Nuva had managed to lure the Vezons over to the other battle with the help of Onua, and they were now in danger of being crushed by one of the four titans.

“Are you sure this is smart?” Pohatu asked.

“Oh, yeah.” Tahu replied. “Lewa Mata and Antroz Phantoka know what they’re supposed to do.”


A split second later, Lewa Mata could be seen flying through the air with a scream of terror, before landing on top of the Kardas Dragon and causing it to topple onto the Fenrakk.

“You fool!” the Vezon shrieked. “Now you WILL die!”

The Vezon stabbed with his spear, and Tahu Nuva grabbed him, snapping the chain and causing the skakdi to fly straight into Biobeast99, who upon coming into contact with the spear gagged and sagged to the ground, slowly falling apart.


“There.” Tahu Nuva said, satisfied. “Both Vezons unconscious, along with their beasts, and all those creations destroyed.”

“Well, the one might’ve been nice to keep.” Onua Nuva told him. “But yeah, the rest is good.”

“Uh, hello?” Vakama Hordika said weakly. “I’m kinda stuck here... I have no arms or legs.”

“This is going to take awhile.” Lewa Mata sighed.


The Spare Bedroom


“What’s this?” Tahu Stars laughed. “No defences? No preparation? Several of your troops missing on some silly quest, while others still are being cared for? You don’t seem very prepared.”

“When you’ve got my army, you don’t need to be.” Tahu Mata bluffed.

“Uh, yeah, you do.” Tahu Stars shot back. “I have almost my entire army here, fool!”

“You’re bluffing.”

“Darn it!”


“Uh, sir?” Gresh Stars asked. “Why don’t we just attack?”

“Great idea.”

“Crud.” Tahu Mata muttered.

To Be Continued....

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Chapter 7 – Replacement


The Bedroom, During the Vezon Battle:


Nuju Metru leaned against the wall, still chatting with Matau.

“You know, you’d think my foot would be fixed by now.” He muttered.

“Yeah.” Matau Metru agreed. “Too bad.”


“It’s here!” Kazi shouted.

“What’s here?” Nuju asked, turning to Matau.

“Oh, your new leg.” Matau shrugged. “And your new head. And your new body... and your other new leg, and your new arms....”

“But I don’t NEED any of those!” Nuju Metru exclaimed.

“It’s for you, dimwit.” Pridak snapped as he walked by. “You’re being replaced. You’re too slow with one leg.”


“I am n- well, I am, but, come on!” Nuju Metru protested.

Tahu Stars stepped forward, twisted the lid off of the canister, and peeked inside.

“EBay was a little too efficient.” He said suspiciously. “It was supposed to take a week.”

“Yeah, believe it or not, I’m used, not brand new.” Another Nuju Metru stepped out. “So, who am I here to replace?”


“What happened to his chest armour?” The first Nuju Metru whispered.

“I heard that.” Nuju v2 turned to him.

“That’s who you’re replacing.” Tahu Stars informed him. “Looks like you’ll need his chest armour.”

“What the heck happened to my... I mean, his foot?!” Nuju v2 exclaimed.

“Don’t ask.” Nuju Metru muttered.

“A door opened on top of him.” Matau Metru replied. “It was kinda gruesome.”


“How was it gruesome?!” Nuju Metru turned to him. “There wasn’t any blood!”

“Yeah, broken parts make me squeamish.” Matau Metru confessed. “Should’ve told that before.”

“Anyway, if you’ll just hand over your chest armour, everything will be great.” Tahu Stars interrupted, stepping towards Nuju Metru.


“No way, you’re not!” Nuju Metru cried. “I am not being turned into creation parts!”

“Nobody said THAT.” Matau Metru replied with a look of confusion. “He just needs your armour.”

“Now I see why I didn’t know about this until now.” Nuju Metru muttered, backing away. “Hey, let me go!”


“No can do, son.” Sidorak replied as he grabbed Nuju Metru by the mask. “Now, there we go. See, that wasn’t so bad!”


“Knock him out, before we have to deal with the word filter.” Tahu Stars snapped.

Sidorak turned and slammed Nuju Metru into the wall. The Toa Metru of ice promptly fell silent, and fell limp. Matau Metru sniffled, turning and walking away.


“It’s just not the same anymore....” The Toa Metru of air muttered as he left the group.

“Alright.” Tahu Stars clapped his hands together. “Ready for action, Nuju 2?”

“Yes, sir.” Nuju Metru v2 responded, snapping Nuju Metru’s chest plate on. “What are you gonna do with him?”

“Oh, nothing that bad.” Tahu Stars shrugged as Sidorak left them, dragging Nuju Metru behind him. “Sidorak’s nice; he’ll make him comfortable.”


“Alright then, son.” Sidorak grunted, pulling Nuju Metru onto the window sill with him. “Enjoy your vacation; it’s permanent.”

Sidorak turned and pulled the window open, miraculously only losing one arm in the process. With his remaining arm, he tossed Nuju Metru out the window into the snow.

“Have fun, son!” he yelled. “Go to Wal-Mart. They probably have an opening. Or McDonalds! Actually, any fast food restaurant for that matter. They’re always hiring. Because they suck.”


Still mumbling under his breath, Sidorak shoved the window closed, causing his other arm to pop off.

“Argh.” He groaned. “Now how am I supposed to get down?”

He glanced down, shrugged, and then jumped. A second later, a crash could be heard, and pieces of Sidorak went flying in all directions.


Currently; The Spare Bedroom:


“So, how’s life?” Nuju v2 asked Matau Metru, smacking Dekar away with his weapon.

“Ah, as normal as it can be.” Matau Metru shrugged, slicing through a Nui-Rama. “you know, what with the civil war and all.”

“Yeah.” Nuju v2 replied.

“You remember the time we climbed onto the ceiling fan in the bedroom, and had to jump down?” Matau Metru asked.


“Uh... no?” Nuju v2 guessed.

“WHAT?! HOW COULD YOU?!” Matau Metru screamed. “You said it was the most frightening experience in your life!”

“I think you’re forgetting something.” Nuju v2 told him. “I’m the replacement Nuju; when I was bought, I was built, and then promptly stuffed into my canister, until the day you guys bought me. Then my previous owner took off my chest plate and sent me off to you.”

“You know, you just haven’t been the same since that other Nuju arrived.” Matau Metru sighed, kicking a now furious Dekar away.


“Seriously, did you listen to a word I just said?” Nuju v2 asked.

“No. Entire paragraphs aren’t my thing.” Matau Metru responded.

“I am the replacement.” Nuju v2 sighed. “Good grief; didn’t you hear? Sidorak threw the other one out the window.”

“Then I shall kill him.” Matau growled.

“He’s already dead. Fell off the window sill.”

“Serves him right.”


Nuju v2 remained silent for a little while, repeatedly slamming Dekar into the wall, and thinking.

“Matau?” he started.


“Have you ever thought of taking over all the other bionicles?”


Matau turned and smacked Nuju v2 into the wall, knocking him out.

“Not really, what with this civil war going on and all.” He said sarcastically. “You really haven’t been the same since that other Nuju arrived....”


With that, Mata Metru shoved Dekar away once more. Dodging the special edition Jetrax T6 that had barrelled towards him, he walked away to go battle someone more exciting that a matoran.

“Good riddance.”


To Be Continued....

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Chapter 8 {Flash Freeze}


The Spare Bedroom


“You know, these constant battles are starting to get a little repetitive.” Pohatu Nuva sighed as they arrived at the Spare Bedroom to find it in chaos. “I mean, can’t we have a little break?”

“Apparently not.” Lewa Mata shrugged. “Say, didn’t Maxilos and Spinax go with you guys?”

“Yeah, they kinda disappeared.” Lewa Nuva shrugged. “Well, fighting time!”


The six Toa Nuva leapt into the fray, instantly clashing with several Vorahk and Kurahk.

“Let’s party!” Vakama Hordika exclaimed.


Meanwhile, Tahu Mata and Tahu Stars were duelling on the bed.

“This is the last attack!” Tahu Stars screeched. “Then this house shall be mine!”

“Actually, it’s a mansion.” Tahu Mata told him. “And, no. Trust me; I’m clearly going to end up winning.”


“Hey guys!” Nuju v2 exclaimed, scrambling up. “How’s it going?”

“Get back! He’s mine!” Tahu Stars scowled.

“I’m nobody’s.” Tahu Mata retorted, shoving the Stars Toa down.


“Finally!” Nuju v2 grinned. “I can kill you and take your army, Tahu!”

“Which one of us are you talking about?” Tahu Mata asked.

“Oh, Tahu Stars.” Nuju v2 told him. “You can leave.”



“First, I shall destroy you!” Nuju v2 exclaimed. “Then I shall have your army, and I will kill the other Tahu! And then, I can destroy the universe! Hahaha!”

“Yeah, that’s not happening.” Tahu Stars told him. “Hey Pridak. Get yourself a team of four together, and go get us back our old Nuju Metru. This guy stinks.”

“I do not stink!”

“It was a figure of speech.”

“A bad one at that, then.” Nuju v2 pouted.


“Yes sir.” Pridak said, walking by.


Later On....


“Alright peeps, so here’s the deal.” Pridak announced.

“Peeps?”  Irnakk questioned, stepping forward. “I rather like to think of myself as a ‘Hulk’, not a ‘Peep’.”

Pridak gulped and took a step back before continuing.


“Uh, anyways, like I was saying, Tahu Stars wants us to find the old Nuju Metru.” He said, grinning nervously. “And out of you, two are not coming.”

“Well, boo.” Mantax muttered.

“So, who wants to come?” Pridak asked.

“If you don’t call me a Peep, then I’m in.” Irnakk rumbled.


“You know, I will come.” Kazi decided. “But I’m not a Peep either.”

“Dude, you’re a small set.” Mantax patted the Ko-Matoran on the head. “I think we have the right to call you a Peep.”

Kazi glared at him; this caused Pridak to smile happily.


“Mantax, you can come as well!” he exclaimed, as the other sets grumbled and walked away.

“I am not going a trip with Mantax!” Kazi protested.

“Dude, you’re not getting out of this one.” Mantax told the Ko-Matoran, grabbing him with his caw. “Not when I can pick you up with one hand.”


“And you’re both going to shut up, because I can pick up all three of you in one hand.” Irnakk warned, lifting Mantax off the ground. “Keep that in mind.”

Mantax and Kazi nodded furiously, and when placed back on the ground, resorted to poking each other in the most painful places possible instead.


“Now, the question is, how do we get outside?” Pridak said to himself.

Irnakk stepped forward, and jumped onto the window sill. He reached back, and then punched right through the window, shattering it.

“DUDE!” Mantax exclaimed. “How did you do that?!”


“HELP ME!” Kazi exclaimed, grabbing onto Mantax’s tail. “IT’S TOO STRONG!”

Irnakk glared down at the three other sets with distaste as they struggled against the howling with blowing through the spare bedroom; all over the room, Bionicles were being flattened by the gail.


“This is just sad.” He shook his head.

Irnakk reached down and grabbed Pridak by the face, stuffing the Barraki outside, where he was soon followed by Mantax and Kazi.


“It’s cold out here!” Kazi said. “Is it... snowing? Really hard?”

“Yes, it appears so.” Pridak observed. “Why?”

He glanced around.


“Uh, where did Kazi go?”

“I dunno! He blends in with the snow!” Mantax exclaimed. “Heck, Irnakk and I blend in with the snow now!”

“No I don’t.” Irnakk said, shaking the snow off of himself.


Mantax rolled his eyes. “Whatever.”

“KAZI!” Pridak bellowed.

“He’s here.” Irnakk responded, lunging forward into a pile of snow.


“Finally!” Kazi gasped. “Good grief, it’s freezing out here! Look, I’m turning blue!”

“Those are blue pieces.” Mantax pointed out.

“Shut up, it’s still freezing.”Kazi whined. “We’re never going to find Nuju out here!”

“Never going to find me where?” a voice asked weakly.


“Nuju?! Is that you?!” Pridak exclaimed, leaping forward.

“Yeah. Get in here, I built a network of caves. It’s actually kind of warm.” The Toa Metru of ice replied. “Hurry up, before we’re buried.”

“Uh, you’re under the snow when it’s snowing. Is that a smart idea?” Mantax questioned.

“Sure it is!” Nuju Metru beamed. “It’ll never-”


At that moment, the cave collapsed on top of Nuju, leaving only part of his arm, his hand, and his head above the snow.

“Oh, come on!” Kazi cried. “This is gonna take forever!”

“Stop complaining.” Irnakk ordered. “I hate it when people complain.”

To Be Continued....

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Tahu vs. Tahu

Season 1 [Civil War]

Chapter 9 {Disturbing Abilities}

Comedy Developer [Freelancer iBrow]


Outside the Spare Bedroom Window:


“PULL!” Mantax screeched. “We can do this!”

“Okay seriously, I think he’s stuck in there.” Kazi retorted. “He’s stuck; he must be frozen.”

“There’s no way he froze in just a minute.” Mantax replied. “Hey! My arm snapped! That’s not cool!”

“Yeah, he’s frozen.” Pridak sighed. “If we’re snapping, then we’ll have to wait until the thaw.”


“No! Don’t wait until the thaw, dimwits!” Nuju Metru cried. “I’m seriously still awake! You can’t leave me like this!”

“Oh, will you all just SHUT UP.” Irnakk groaned.

Everyone fell silent a moment later.


“Now move.” Irnakk growled.

The two Barraki and Kazi scuttled out of the way as fast as they could as Irnakk stepped up in front of Nuju Metru.

“You know, I’m not so sure about this.” The Toa Metru of ice said nervously. “You seem... scary.”

“I’m supposed to.”


The Spare Bedroom:


“So, what should we do with you?” Tahu Stars asked.

“First, you can get out of here.” Tahu Mata suggested. “Then, hold his trial in your own bedroom.”

“I don’t think so.” Tahu Stars shrugged. “I’ll stay here, in return for not attacking you for the next few months.”


“Now we’re getting somewhere.” Tahu Mata rolled his eyes.

“Alright then; Brutaka, get over here.” Tahu Stars ordered.

“What are you gonna do?” Nuju v2 asked.


“I’m skipping the trial and just preparing to toss you out the window.” Tahu Stars told him. “I should’ve known used bionicles are no good.”

“That was... unkind.” Tahu Mata told him.

“I don’t care.” Tahu Stars shrugged.


Brutaka approached, and grabbed the protesting Nuju v2 as a shout rang from across the room.

“We got him!” Pridak called.

Brutaka responded by whipping Nuju v2 over into the window with a crunch.


“Now, if you’ll excuse me...” Nuju Metru trailed off, grabbing Nuju v2’s left leg and chest armour. “I’ll need these to be fully efficient.”

Once the pieces had been snapped on, Irnakk took Nuju v2 apart piece by piece.


“Two questions;” Kazi began. “One: Why are you doing that? And two: Why is he not screaming?”

“One: I’m using him to fix the window.” Irnakk replied. “Two: he’s unconscious, dimwit.”

“Dude, how are you supposed to fix the window with a pile of broken pieces?” Mantax questioned.


Irnakk glared at him; the Barraki backed away quickly, tripping over Dekar and falling to the floor.

“I’m alive!”

“No one cares!” Pridak yelled.

A moment later, the window had been fixed, framed with the pieces of Nuju v2.

“I have to say, that looks kinda creepy.” Nuju Metru said.


“Awe, come on!” Umbra exclaimed. “You’re seriously telling me that Sidorak died for absolutely no reason!”

“Yes. Now shut up.” Makuta replied, stabbing Umbra with his staff.


Umbra retaliated by smacking Makuta’s head with his staff; Makuta simply shrugged and whistled; a second later, Takutanuva stepped out of the shadows towards Umbra.

“Ooh, you’re in trouble!” Takanuva grinned.


“SOMEBODY HELP ME!” Umbra screamed.

A second later, Takutanuva had swallowed Umbra whole; the titan’s parts instantly re-organized themselves onto the combiner, making him even more imposing than before.

“I wouldn’t mind knowing where he got those powers.” Irnakk rumbled thoughtfully.

“You and these titans.” Kazi muttered. “You always have such strange and awesome powers.”


To Be Continued....

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Chapter 10 {These Guys Suck at Fighting}


The Spare Bedroom:


Tahu Mata sighed as Tahu Stars approached him.


“It’s been a few months.” Tahu Stars said. “And because there was no fighting, and no interacting, those few months were seriously boring. So now I’m attacking you.”

“Yeah, just hurry up.” Tahu Mata sighed. “I’ll finally regain control, and I’ll do it diplomatically, like before.”

“I’m diplomatic!” Tahu Stars protested.

Tahu Mata snorted. “Right.”


Tahu Stars frowned at him before charging forward, drawing his sword as he did so. Tahu Mata swung upwards, using his gears to his advantage as he smacked Tahu Stars across the floor.

“Let’s finish this.” Tahu Mata told his enemy.


Before Tahu Stars could attack again, Tahu Mata grabbed onto the Axalara as it flew by, flying off into the air. Tahu Stars frowned again before catching a ride on the Thornatus.


By the Door


Maxilos blocked Takanuva Mistika’s attack with his staff as Spinax leapt at the giant Toa, ripping several pieces off. Takanuva Mistika ripped the energy hound off of him, tearing Spinax’s spine off in the process. Maxilos snarled, stabbing at Takanuva angrily, only to find that the other titan had used his staff to lift Maxilos into the air.


“Let me down!” the robot exclaimed, trying to pry the staff from his neck.

“Nah.” Takanuva Mistika replied, kicking Spinax’s head off of the energy hound’s body. “I heard about what you did to Umbra and those Rahkshi. You need to learn what that feels like.”


“Nah.” Maxilos responded.

With that, the robot kicked Takanuva in the face, sending the giant Toa staggering back, dropping Maxilos to the ground.


However, as he landed, Maxilos found himself slammed into the wall by Roodaka.

“You didn’t think I’d let you die without getting my revenge, did you?!” she hissed. “Never!”

Maxilos shrugged, head-butting Roodaka while swiping his leg at hers, tripping her. He snatched his staff and blocked Takanuva’s attack just in time, while dodging away from the Midak spheres.


“Catch me if you can!” he called.

Roodaka snarled, sending several Rhotuka at him. Maxilos chuckled, catching several of them and tossing them over his shoulder. Takanuva grabbed her and threw her at the startled Maxilos, who was smashed into the dresser, several pieces of his armour falling to the floor.


“We caught you.” Roodaka informed him, stabbing his neck with her claw. “So now what?”

Takanuva approached.

“Let’s tear him apart slowly, piece by piece.” He suggested.

Roodaka’s eyes narrowed in anticipation.


The Bed


Tahu Mata jumped down to the bed. He made a perfect landing, only for Tahu Stars to dive straight into him, sending both of them flying across the bed to land in a heap.

“Work on your landing skills!” Tahu Mata snapped.

“Actually, I need to work on my diving skills.” Tahu Stars groaned. “All four of my limbs got moved to face the wrong way.”


Tahu Mata cringed, taking in a sharp breath.

“Ouch.” He said. “I feel for you, man. That is painful. And trust me, when your arms are attached to gears, it happens a lot.”

“Then why aren’t you in pain?!” Tahu Stars said incredulously.

Tahu Mata glanced at him.

“Dude, I’ve had ten years to get used to it.” He replied. “Ten very long years. You learn to ignore it.”

“I see.” Tahu Stars nodded.


Suddenly, without warning, Tahu Mata tackled him as he was standing, sending him crashing into the wall.

“Augh!” he cried. “Hey, come on! There’s enough space to fall down here!”

“That’s your problem.” Tahu Mata grunted. “What do you want me to do?”

“How about we just agree that I should be leader?” Tahu Stars suggested.


“How about we just agree that you both suck?!” a voice called out.

Tahu Mata paused, allowing Tahu Stars to nearly slip right through the gap. The Stars Toa climbed out, muttering about bad placement before seeing who had spoken.

“Oh, for the love of Karzahni!” Tahu Mata exclaimed. “Come on!”


The Door


Maxilos desperately shoved Roodaka away, only to be caught in the grip of Takanuva, who threw him to the ground.

“Say goodbye, robot!” Takanuva sneered.


A split second later, a different staff had stabbed through the giant Toa, knocking off most of his body armour; the basic skeleton was still there, but too weak to support Takanuva, as he collapsed a moment later. In his place stood a hulking black figure, with small splashes of electric blue. He had Roodaka squirming in his other hand. Maxilos groaned.


“I thought you could use some help.” The figure said casually. “That white guy is nearly dead; he won’t bother you anymore. As for this one....”

The figure turned his head to face Roodaka.

“I have no further need for you.” He continued.


Roodaka growled angrily; a second later, the figure slammed her into the wall with astonishing strength and accuracy, causing Roodaka to explode into a shower of parts.

“You know, I find it strange that the white one ended up in better condition, don’t you?” the figure said thoughtfully.


Maxilos gulped, and nodded.


“Anyway.” The figure turned back to him. “I’m glad I could help. Unfortunately, I hate all of you, so you’re next.”

Maxilos grabbed his staff and stood to his feet, replacing his armour. Like it would do him any good.


The Bed


Tahu Mata dodged the dual-flame blade that had been thrust at him, smacking his sword into the newcomer’s back; Tahu Stars, meanwhile, tackled him from the side, but was shaken off easily.

“Come on, seriously!” the newcomer exclaimed. “You guys are such wimps!”

The figure was mainly the same red as both of the Tahu’s, with Keetorange limbs and a terribly clashing black body.


“We aren’t wimps.” Tahu Stars said furiously, striking again.

An instant later, Tahu Stars was flung to land beside Tahu Mata.

“Seriously.” The newcomer laughed. “Can’t you do better?”


Tahu Mata and Tahu Stars responded by rushing forward, swinging their swords and fists at the newcomer. The three fiercely duelled for a few moments before both of the Tahu’s were sent crashing into the wall once more.


“You know, you guys really suck at this fighting thing.” The newcomer told them. “I don’t even want to waste my time on you anymore.”

In a flash, the newcomer dropped his weapon, grabbing both Tahu’s and yanking them over his shoulders, flinging them off the bed.


The Door


Maxilos was beaten; and still the black figure was throwing him repeatedly into the wall. With a supreme amount of will (and the happy fact that the kid had needed to glue several of his parts on to keep them from falling off), Maxilos had managed to survive; however, this was infuriating the black figure, and Maxilos had long since calculated that this would be the last throw.


Or at least, it would’ve been, had both the Tahu’s not crash landed on top of the figure several seconds before it occurred.

“Oh, thank-you!” Tahu Stars exclaimed. “I thought I was a goner!”

“You ARE a goner.” The figure replied, grabbing him by the throat.

“Aw, come on!” Tahu Stars cried.


Maxilos grabbed his staff and whipped it at the figure, causing him to drop Tahu Stars, who scrambled away a second later. Tahu Mata took the opportunity to stab him in the chest before also backing away.

“I’ll just let you know one thing.” The figure warned. “We’re different lines. Hero Factory doesn’t like you, and we’re stronger then you. You’ve got a week to live; then, we slaughter you.”


With that, the black figure let out a roar; several figures came rushing towards him, and he turned to Maxilos, Tahu Mata, and Tahu Stars one last time.

“You’ve been warned. Von Nebula’s wrath is something to be feared.” He rasped.

“Who’s Von Nebula?” Tahu Stars called.

The black figure sighed.

“You’re dumber than I thought.” He sighed. “I’m Von Nebula.”


With that, Von Nebula turned, and led his troops out the door. The red figure stopped before leaving.

“I’m William Furno!” he called. “You guys suck!”

Then William Furno left, shutting the door behind him. The Spare Bedroom was absolute chaos; Bionicles were strewn everywhere, the result of three entire armies battling in the same room.


“Well, I think I’ve had enough fighting for today.” Tahu Stars yawned, stretching as he stood. “I’m gonna call a tactical retreat.”

“I’m warning you don’t go to the bedroom.” Tahu Mata told him. “Hero Factory will have control of it now.”

“Oh, I know.” Tahu Stars nodded. “Now, come on!”


Tahu Stars’ army filed out the door; many were missing pieces; Tahu Mata’s army was exactly the same.

“Well?” Maxilos said softly. “What are we gonna do?”

“Try and survive?” Tahu Mata shrugged. “Right now, I don’t know. But we’ll think of something.”

“Yeah.” Maxilos nodded. “We’ve come a long way.”

“I guess.” Tahu Mata agreed. “Now, let’s go see our casualties.”

End Season 1...

Edited by Lucina
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With the first season all posted, it's time for the special chapters. These were almost always set outside of the main comedy itself, with the characters behaving more like actors in between takes for a movie. Civil War had two PSAs and one ordinary Special.


Tahu vs. Tahu

PSA #1 >> Villain Interviews


The Bedroom...


“Hey there, readers!” Tahu Stars exclaimed. “Prepare for a lot of fourth wall breaking!”

He turned back to Tahu Mata.

“Yeah, I really don’t think this is gonna work.” He said.

“Fine, I’ll do it.” Tahu Mata muttered, stepping forward.


Tahu Stars shoved him back down in response.

“Anyway, we here at Tahu vs. Tahu have been trying to decide, who’s the main villain going to be in Season 2?” Tahu Stars began. “I mean, Season 1 clearly doesn’t have a solid villain; it’s just war.”

“Actually, I’m pretty sure that since you’re a tyrannical dictator, you count as a villain.” Ahkmou said dryly.


Tahu Stars shot the Po-Matoran a look that quickly shut him up.

“Anyway, as I was saying.” Tahu Stars continued. “Since this season is clearly missing a villain, we decided to interview some new and old characters for the job.”


With that, Tahu Stars sat down at the table beside Ahkmou, Tahu Stars, and Dekar.

“Bring in the first one.” Tahu Mata ordered.

Kazi nodded, and let in both of the Vezons.


“Oh, please no.” Tahu Stars groaned. “NEXT, NEXT, NEXT!!”

Dekar and Tahu Mata shrugged apologetically, leaving Ahkmou to roll his eyes.

“The stupidity of it.” He muttered. “They would be great villains!”

“Next.” Tahu Mata ordered.


Vultraz stepped inside.

“Uh, you’re not scheduled.” Tahu Mata told him. “We’ve got Brutaka up next.”

“Yeah, uh, he’s uh... kinda busy....” Vultraz trailed off. “Come on! I’ll make a great villain!”

“This is about Vultraz’s Diner, isn’t it?” Ahkmou sighed.



“Look, is it really our fault that absolutely no one from that comedy series has had a very large role in this comedy so far?” Tahu Mata asked.

Vultraz glared at him, and Tahu Mata sighed.

“We’re not giving you an entire season to be villain.” He told him. “But perhaps we can schedule you for a chapter or two.”


“No perhaps; you will. ” Vultraz ordered.

Dekar leaned over his paper, scribbling down a date.

“How’s season 3?”

“As soon as possible.” Vultraz replied, exiting.

“You’re not actually serious.” Ahkmou said.

“I am.” Dekar nodded. “He’ll be great!”


“Alright, next up is Von Nebula and William Furno, from Hero Factory.” Tahu Stars read. “Ugh... double team.”

“What’s wrong with that?!” William Furno exclaimed, leaping into the room. “I don’t like your attitude, buster!”

Tahu Stars pressed a button on the desk, and Furno was instantly dropped through a trap door down below, where a horde of Zyglak was waiting.


“Uh, yeah.” Von Nebula shrugged, side-stepping the open hole in the floor. “Just to let you know, I’m not insane.”

“You’re hired.” Tahu Mata said instantly, scribbling on his paper.

Von Nebula glanced at him with pure evil before leaving.

“You two are way too quick to hire people.” Tahu Stars said.


“Hey guys!” a figure said. “I’m Torch, the Throwbot! You may know me as a Slizer.”

“Hired.” Tahu Stars interrupted. “Great job there!”

A look of utter confusion spread across Torch’s face as he left the room.

“Who are those weirdoes?”


“And, the final one of the evening, Takutanuva.” Dekar read.

“Yeah, he doesn’t even need to come in.” Ahkmou said immediately. “I’ll just write him in here....”

“And, his ally Irnakk.” Dekar continued.


“HOLY #%&$!” Ahkmou screamed. “Dude, those two are insanely scary on their own! Why would we put them together?!”

“Language.” Tahu Mata told him tiredly.

“Just. Do it.” Tahu Stars ordered quietly. “Before I feed you to them.”

Ahkmou gulped, grinned nervously, and then scribbled down on his paper.



“Good.” Tahu Mata said, satisfied. “Well, that’s our first PSA wrapped up!”

“What does PSA even mean?!” Dekar exclaimed. “Argh!”

“Ugh, I didn’t get to break the fourth wall.” Tahu Stars complained.


All four glanced over to the wall with a number four on it.

“You know, that’s probably for the best.” Ahkmou replied. “The entire mansion would probably collapse if we did break it.”


The End.

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Tahu vs. Tahu

Special #1 – The Fourth Wall


The Bedroom....


“Hey Tahu, what’re you doing?” Takanuva Stars asked, approaching Tahu Stars.

“Trying to break down this wall.” Tahu Stars grunted.


He was repeatedly stabbing his sword at the wall; so far, he had successfully gotten several bruises and a broken pommel piece. Luckily, extra Skrall Stars sets had assured a ready replacement.

“Yeah, good luck with that.” Takanuva said doubtfully. “I... don’t think that’s gonna work.”

“Why not?” Tahu Stars asked. “It’s usually easy to break down the fourth wall! I really don’t get why it’s so hard all of a sudden!”


“You know, you’re right.” Takanuva Stars said thoughtfully. “Technically, by now it should’ve shattered a dozen times over.”

“It has, you dimwits!” Kazi screeched. “It’s kinda painful!”

Both of the Stars Toa glanced behind them to spot Kazi buried under several walls’ worth of rubble.


“Uh... oops?” Takanuva Stars grinned nervously.

“Yeah, whatever.” Tahu Stars grumbled. “If we’ve broken so many, why isn’t this one breaking?”

“I was coming to tell you that!” Kazi exclaimed. “And then I got buried in this stuff!”

“I see.” Tahu Stars nodded.


“Besides, that wall doesn’t even have a four on it.” Kazi told them as they yanked him out of the wreckage. “Can’t you dimwits read? That’s the number three!”

“Oh....” Takanuva Stars trailed off. “Whatever. You’re the one that buried yourself under several walls.”

“I did not!” Kazi protested. “You guys made me get buried!”

A wall promptly shattered above Kazi, raining him with pieces of drywall.


“Don’t. Even. Say it.” Kazi warned through clenched teeth.

Tahu Stars bent over, tears of mirth leaking out of his eyes.

“You know, I really don’t get what’s so funny.” Kazi sulked. “You’re the one who can’t read.”

“SHUT UP!” Tahu Stars bellowed.


Takanuva Stars and Kazi were sent flying into the third wall with a crash.

“Where is the fourth wall, then?!” Tahu Stars hissed.

“Over there.” Kazi pointed.


Tahu Stars glanced behind him; sure enough, the wall had a number four on it.

“Ah. Thanks. I’ll be going, then.”


Five minutes later, Tahu Stars was still having absolutely no luck when Mantax and Pridak walked by, screaming with laughter.

“What’s so funny?” he asked.

“YOU!” Pridak bellowed, doubling up. “You’re so... you’re so dumb!”

He and Mantax continued to chuckle un-controllably.


“Tell me why you are laughing, or I swear, so many walls will break, you won’t be getting out for a week.” Tahu Stars threatened.

Mantax dodged a wall that fell right next to him, grinning.

“Dude, I spray painted on all the walls yesterday.” He explained. “We didn’t think someone would mistake this one for the fourth wall for awhile; we certainly didn’t think they’d mistake the third wall as the fourth wall; and we REALLY didn’t think that we would fool you!”


“Okay, that’s it.” Tahu Stars muttered.

He lunged forward, grabbed both Barraki, and threw them straight through the wall, to fly out of the house and land in the two foot deep pond.

“You know, when we were designed as sets of beings that lived underwater, I never thought we’d actually end up living in water.” Pridak said.

“Yeah.” Mantax agreed. “And I didn’t think we’d be able to breathe water, either.”


“OH, YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!” Tahu Stars bellowed from the house. “YOU’RE STILL HAPPY?!”

“Yup, fine and dandy!” Pridak called. “Thanks man! If you could send down the rest of the 2007 sets that would be great!”

“I hate this job.” Tahu Stars muttered, stomping away.

“I think we made him angry.” Mantax said.

“Yeah, me too.” Pridak agreed. “Another prank well done!”


He and Mantax fist-bumped, chuckling.

“We should really do this again sometime.”


The End.

Edited by Lucina
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Tahu vs. Tahu



The Spare Bedroom


“Hey there, guys!” Pohatu Nuva waved. “I’m Pohatu Nuva, from Tahu vs. Tahu!”

He glanced over to Vamprah, who stood beside him.


“Uh... Vamprah?” Pohatu Nuva asked.

Vamprah glanced at him and shrugged.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Pohatu Nuva muttered, shaking his head. “If you’re not gonna speak, why did you sign up?!”


Vamprah shrugged once more before turning and walking away.

“HEY!” Pohatu Nuva shouted. “Get back here! You can’t just walk off the job!”

Pohatu Nuva sighed, as Lewa Mata ran up.


“Okay, I’m here!” Lewa Mata exclaimed, gasping for breath. “Am I late?!”

“You’re not scheduled, are you?” Pohatu Nuva asked.

“Sure I am.” Lewa Mata told him, standing.

“What about Vamprah?”

“Oh, he’s just like that, you know?” Lewa Mata asked.


“You have got to be kidding me.” Pohatu muttered, shaking his head.

“Anyway, I’m Lewa Mata from the same comedy!” Lewa Mata began, turning to the camera. “Alright, now where did I put my cue cards?”


Pohatu Nuva sighed again.

“Anyway.” The Toa Nuva of stone started. “Recently, there’s been several closed topics in the Comedies Forum, and there’s other comedies that... well, we don’t really approve of. So today, we’re gonna tell you what spam is, and how to avoid it.”


“The first thing you need to know, is that spam is meat.” Pohatu Nuva continued.

“It is not, dimwit!” Lewa Mata snapped. “SPAM is actually an acronym; it stands for ‘Stupid, Pointless, Annoying, Message.’”

“I see.” Pohatu Nuva murmured, scratching his forehead.


“Continuing on, here are several signs that what you are reading is SPAM.” Lewa Mata continued.

He then slapped a list onto the wall, saying:


  1. The title is either gibberish, can’t be understood, or can be considered offensive.

  2. The comedy has terrible punctuation, numerous spelling errors, no plotline, and the characters are non-existent.

  3. The author has recently made several SPAM topics.

  4. The author is eagerly supported by those who have either supported spam in the past, are close friends with the author, follow the author around (stalkers), or have knowingly written SPAM themselves.

  5. Those supporting the SPAM feel the need to start flame wars with those who critique the SPAM.

  6. Those who SPAM feel the need to over-think arguments and also feel the need to pointlessly defend every single letter of every single SPAMMY word that the author wrote.

  7. The topic receives dozens of replies within days where other comedies go dry for years because so many people hate it because it is SPAM, but each critique is met with at least seven comments from SPAM supporters saying how good it is.

  8. The SPAM is either repeatedly reposted, or repeatedly receives equally SPAMMY sequels.

  9. Lots of flame wars start between those who love SPAM and those who hate SPAM.

  10. Many members get docked proto energy or are proto zapped and banned because the SPAM completely SPAMMED up their lives.


“Yeah... I’d say only the first six are actually valid.” Pohatu Nuva said doubtfully.

“No way. All ten are, trust me.” Lewa Mata assured him. “I had a list of five hundred and eighty three. You should be thankful I took the time to narrow it down.”

“I see.” Pohatu Nuva gulped. “Out of curiosity, which numbers were these?”

“Numbers one, three, seventeen, four hundred, four hundred and one, four hundred seventy-two, five hundred and three, five hundred twenty, five hundred forty, and five hundred eighty-two.” Lewa Mata listed.



“Anyway.” Lewa Mata grunted, tearing the list off the wall. “There’s ten ways you can tell if something is spam. See you!”

“Tiddlywinks!” Pohatu Nuva cried out.

The End.

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Long, long ago, in a galaxy far, far away... sorry. Wrong intro; let me start again.


Over ten years ago, the son of Lego’s current big boss man received many sets as a special birthday gift. These sets had their time, but little more than a year later, they were replaced by Bionicle.


That is a different tale. This one is about what happened ten years later, after Bionicle ended. With several sets claiming control over the others, the Bionicles erupted into Civil War. Many Bionicles were lost to the fight, and others disappeared.


Now, that Civil War is the least of the worries on Tahu Mata’s list. For now, he must deal with...


An Invasion.




Tahu vs. Tahu Presents...


Season 2: Invasion


The arrival of Hero Factory has thrown everything into chaos. While Hero Factory has laid claim to the wanted bedroom, Tahu Mata has maintained his position in the spare bedroom. Tahu Stars has led his army elsewhere, and for the moment, they have been forgotten as Tahu Mata’s army struggles with their new foes.


Part 1 {Capture}


The Bedroom


“Uh, boss man?” Vapour asked, stepping in front of Von Nebula.

“What is it?” the hulking black figure rumbled.

“Yeah, uh, the Alpha Team you sent on that mission... they got captured.”

“What about Bulk v2?!” Von Nebula exclaimed.


“Oh, I got away.” Bulk v2 said casually, flying over with his jetpack.

Von Nebula sighed.

“Those dimwits.” He muttered. “Figures, with their weapon arms.”

“Hey!” Bulk v2 protested. “I’ve got two of those, here!”

“Yeah, and they didn’t even colour Stringer’s silver for you.” Vapour sniggered. “Sucker.”

“I hate you.” Bulk v2 sighed.


“How did they get captured?!” Von Nebula spat.

“Oh, trust me, it’s really embarrassing....” Bulk v2 groaned.


The Spare Bedroom


“So, you fools really thought that the three of you could defeat an entire army?” Tahu Mata asked incredulously.

“Uh... yeah, you could say that.”Preston Stormer replied.

“Shut up.” Strakk snapped. “You’ve got some serious under bite problems.”

“Not nice.” Stormer murmured, turning away. “Lego moulded it.”


Strakk rolled his eyes as Tahu Mata turned to Jimi Stringer.

“Don’t listen to him.” Duncan bulk said quickly. “He’s dumb as a doornail.”

“What?” Stringer turned to Bulk. “Doors don’t have nails. Doors have knobs.”

“See what I mean?” Bulk sighed.

“The correct term is ‘as dead as a doornail’.” Stormer told him.


Tahu Mata groaned.

“This is going to take forever.”


The Bedroom


“You’re kidding me.” Von Nebula said in disbelief.

“Sadly, I am not kidding.” Bulk v2 sighed dramatically.

“Oh my gosh.” Von Nebula groaned, grabbing his face. “This sucks so bad....”


Vapour leapt a foot in the air when Von Nebula whipped towards him.

“Bring me Meltdown and Rotor. They’ll cause real mayhem.”


The Spare Bedroom


“So you just thought you were powerful enough to destroy us all.” Tahu Mata repeated.

“Yes.” Bulk nodded.

“That is so sad.” Strakk shook his head sadly.

“I’m really getting tired of you.” Stormer responded. “You bug me.”

“That would be too bad.” Strakk said brightly. “Seeing as you’re the prisoner, not me.”


“Hey, Tahu?” Lewa Mata called. “Some of the Bohrok just arrived; they’re saying to prepare for battle.”

“Again?” Tahu Mata replied in disbelief. “Even Tahu Stars didn’t attack this much. Speaking of which, has he been seen yet?”


“Nope.” Lewa Mata shook his head. “Although there’re rumours that he may have fled to the Kitchens.”

“Why there?” Strakk asked.

Lewa Mata shrugged.

“Lots of places to hide?” the Toa Mata of air suggested.


“Uh, can you not forget about us?” Stormer called. “We’re your prisoners. You’re supposed to watch us.”

Strakk turned around and smacked Stormer with his axe, causing the hero to fall silent. Stringer laughed at the action, earning a glare from his leader.


“Anyway...” Strakk trailed off, turning back to Tahu and Lewa.

“Alright then.” Tahu Mata decided. “Get a team together, and go to the kitchens.”

“Alright.” Lewa Mata nodded, turning away. “How many?”

“Meh. Four should do it.”


“What about me?” Strakk asked.

“You’re gonna stay here while I go get some other people to watch the prisoners.” Tahu Mata told him. “And then you’ll be getting preparations done for the attack.”

“Totally awesome.”


The Kitchens


“Takanuva!” Tahu Stars called.

“Yes sir?” Takanuva Stars asked, running up.

“Status report.”

“You just asked for one five minutes ago. Nothing has changed.”

“So? I’m paranoid. I don’t need Tahu Mata or Hero Factory finding us.”


“Why not?” Takanuva Stars asked.

“Because I’m not helping either of them, which means we’d be fighting in a three-way war. Do you remember how well things went when it was just Tahu vs. Tahu?”

“Pretty decent. Except for that last battle.”

“Exactly. I don’t want a repeat.”


Takanuva Stars shrugged and turned to leave.

“Takanuva!” Tahu Stars called behind him.

“What?!” he called back.

“Status report!”



“No need to scream about it.” Tahu Stars muttered.


The Spare Bedroom


“Here is your new job.” Tahu Mata told them.

“No way.” Onua Mata shook his head. “Uh-uh.”

“Yeah, I’m with Onua.” Gali Mata sniffed. “These guys aren’t worth us.”


“So you want to risk going into the first battle with a new enemy and risk losing two more members?” Tahu Mata asked. “Because that’s what happened with Pohatu and Kopaka.”

“Right.” Onua agreed. “Then we’ll do it.”

“But where’s Lewa?” Gali asked.


“Oh, looking for Tahu Stars.” Tahu Mata said casually.

“Yeah.” Onua Mata snorted. “That’s definitely safe.”

“Totally is.” Tahu Mata agreed. “Well, see you! Strakk and I have some strategies to plan.”


With that, the Toa Mata of fire left, followed by the Glatorian of ice.

“This is gonna suck.” Onua muttered.

“Tell me about it.” Bulk groaned. “Can you imagine how much Hero Factory is gonna fail?”

To Be Continued....

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Part 2 {Jellybeans}


The Kitchen


Tahu Stars joined the crowd gathered around a huge bag of round, colourful beans.

“What are these things?” he asked.

“They’re called Jellybeans.” Kazi explained. “They’re like brown beans, except they’re not disgusting because they’re made out of candy.”

“I see.”



“Racist.” Nuparu Mahri muttered.

“Aw, come one, bro.” Matoro Mahri sighed. “I wasn’t like, being serious. Although the black ones do kinda taste bad.”


Nuparu Mahri responded with a snarl, tackling Matoro Mahri to the ground. Both fell off the counter, landing with a crash on the floor below.

“We’re okay!” they both called.


“Which one should I try first?” Tahu Stars questioned.

“THE WHITE ONES!” Matoro bellowed.

Tahu Stars sighed.

“Give me a black one.” He ordered.


A hush fell amongst the crowd; Tahu Stars glared at them.

“Seriously, what is the matter? I said I want a black one!” he exclaimed.

Kazi reached forward and yanked a black one out; there was a suspiciously large amount of them left. Tahu Stars grabbed it and sniffed it, shrugging. It smelled alright. He tossed it into his mouth.


The moment it touched his lips, he gagged, clutching his throat.

“Run!” he said hoarsely, falling to his knees. “The end is upon us! Augh, it tastes so bad! Why won’t it leave? WHY WON’T IT LEAVE?!”


Takanuva Stars handed him what looked like a pepper; Tahu Stars ate it greedily, to regret it a split second later.



“Well, if you mean besides the fact that you’re trying to thrust a dictatorship on everyone, then nothing.” Kazi said casually.


The Spare Bedroom


Zaktan glanced over as several screams were heard; his squad of Lehvak followed.

“Not good, not good.” The Lehvak muttered. “Not good at all!”

“Oh, shut up.” Zaktan rolled his eyes. “Looks like the jail is having troubles. Follow me!”

“Wish we hadn’t been assigned to you, wish we hadn’t.” The Lehvak all grumbled. “Suicidal you are, suicidal.”


They arrived at the jail in time to see Rotor, Meltdown, Preston Stormer, Jimi Stringer, and Duncan Bulk battling Onua Mata and Gali Mata.

“Go, my warriors!” Zaktan cried. “Die honourable deaths, and take back the prisoners!”

The Lehvak all sighed before rushing forward, swarming Meltdown and Jimi Stringer. Two became spare parts instantly.


Meanwhile, Zaktan tackled Rotor, leaving Gali and Onua to battle the remaining two Alpha Team members.

“Sucker!” Rotor sneered, activating his propellers. “Spare parts for you!”

Zaktan was, a moment later, beheaded. His spine and head detached from his body, leaving the body to collapse to the floor.


Rotor had turned away, satisfied, when he felt Zaktan wrapping around his propellers, threatening to remove them.

“You should be dead!” the Hero Factory titan complained.

“No way, man.” Zaktan argued. “I was turned into a head with a spine in 2007. That means I can survive like this.”


The orange and black titan sighed, slumping.

“This sucks.”

Before Zaktan could react, Rotor had reached up and destroyed everything that was left of him.

“There we go.” Rotor smiled. “Stay alive after that.”

“Fine, I will.” Zaktan replied. “I mean, it was looking like it would be cool being dead, but if you want me here that badly....”


“WHY ME?!” Rotor screamed.

Zaktan grinned as Rotor made his escape, grabbing Duncan Bulk and Meltdown on the way. As he took off, Stringer shoved Stormer down, grabbing onto Rotor’s leg as the group made their escape.


“You let them get away!” Onua Mata seethed.

“We have one, we have one!” the Lehvak group called. “The white one! The white one!”

“Good job soldiers!” Zaktan praised the group, hovering over. “You have done well today. We shall go now and slumber.”

“Slumber party! Slumber party!” the Lehvak group chanted excitedly.


Zaktan led the Lehvak away, leaving a dumbfounded Gali and Onua Mata to chain Preston Stormer up once more, ignoring the complaints of the hero.


The Bedroom


“What are those?” Von Nebula asked, wrenching the paper from Thunder.

“Some sort of blueprint.” The silver villain told him with a thick British accent. “Looks like creation models. Got some sort of copyright stuff from the Vezon sets.”


“Use them.” Von Nebula ordered. “We shall be even more powerful!”

“Yes sir.” Thunder nodded.

“And quit it with the accent! It sounds so fake!”

“It is not fake!” Thunder protested. “It’s 100 percent real! I’m from Europe!”


“You were made in Denmark you dolt, not Britain.” Von Nebula rolled his eyes. “Ugh, you’re so stupid sometimes.”

Thunder walked away, pouting.

“My entire life has been a lie!” the villain lamented.


As Thunder exited Von Nebula’s view, the hulking black titan turned to William Furno.

“When are the Winter 2011 sets scheduled to arrive?” he questioned.

“In about four or five chapters, sir.” The hero replied.

“I... have no idea what you’re talking about.” Von Nebula responded.


“Sorry; I mean, they’re scheduled to come in a couple days.” Furno corrected. “Uh... my bad.”

“Prepare for their arrival.” Von Nebula ordered. “We will need to build them as quickly as possible. Understood?”

“Yes sir.”



Furno leapt several inches into the air before scampering away. Von Nebula sat back against the pillow, grinning in triumph.

To Be Continued...

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Part 3 – The Vengeance


The Hallway, By the Kitchen:


Lewa Mata led his group towards the kitchen; several screams, thuds, booms, crashes, and curses could be heard.


“Yeah, they’re definitely in the kitchen.” Tarix reported.

“But why are they all screaming?” Gelu wonder aloud.

“Doesn’t matter.” Malum replied. “Pound their skulls into the ground anyway.”


Lewa Mata rolled his eyes.

“No skull pounding. We’re here to ask for help.” He told them. “If you pound anyone’s skull Malum, I will pound yours.”



Lewa Mata pushed the door, and it slowly swung open.

“Now remember the plan.” He whispered. “Be as silent as-”

“HEY, DUDES! SKULL POUNDING TIME!” Malum bellowed, running forward.

“Never mind.” Lewa sighed.


Malum bounced back to them a second later, clutching his head and groaning.

“Who opened the refrigerator?!” Tahu Stars could be heard. “We’re supposed to fight them, not waste precious apples on them!”

“Sorry sir!” Nuparu Mahri called, jumping down and sticking out his shield. “Here, bozo! Run into my shield instead!”


Lewa grabbed Malum by the helmet as he attempted to do just that.

“We’re here to ask for help, you morons.” He sighed. “Help with Hero Factory.”

“Nope, no way.” Tahu Stars told them. “I am not fighting Hero Factory. But you’ll be my prisoners!”

“Never!” Malum roared, running forward.

“YOU MORON, I’M STILL HERE!” Lewa Mata bellowed.


The Bedroom


“We’re home!” Meltdown called, dumping both Duncan Bulk and Jimi Stringer on the ground. “We brought back two of them.”

“You left behind Stormer?” Thresher (Bulk v2) asked.

“Yes.” Rotor nodded. “But nobody likes him anyway, so it doesn’t matter.”




“Are they ready yet?” Von Nebula rumbled.

“Almost done sir.” William Furno replied.

“Exactly right.” Thunder nodded.

“What did I tell you about the stupid accent?!” Von Nebula snapped.

“So sorry about that, my dear.” A voice said as a shadow fell over them. “Really am; can’t quite help it in moments like these however, know what I mean?”


All three Hero Factory sets gulped and slowly turned around.

“Yeah... we decided not to build that one....” Furno smiled nervously. “Can someone wake me up now?”

“You weren’t going to build me, hmmm?” the gigantic figure smiled sadly. “Well, it is a rather good thing I ended up next to that special edition set.”


The figure cackled as a strange energy pulsed through his entire body, plainly visible.

“No way.” Von Nebula retorted. “That set is not really super charged.

“Say so yourself, fool.” The figure grinned, grabbing Von Nebula in his hand. “And say hello to your new master – Flynn!”


The Basement


“I fear that those Hero Factory sets fell for the trap!” one Vezon grinned maliciously.

“Indeed, they did!” the other giggled. “Oh, the fools!”

A huge crash could be heard from above, followed by several screams.

“Sounds like something has fallen into the kitchen!” they both laughed.


The Kitchen


Everybody screamed as the hulking figure of Von Nebula crashed through the ceiling and landed on the floor.


He then took off, searching for a set with the Kanohi Ignika.


“Uh... he’s not moving.” Ahkmou reported. “Would that be a problem?”

“Well, I’d assume so.” Garan shrugged, standing beside him. “Seeing as he’s more powerful than almost every Bionicle.”

“This doesn’t bode well, then.” Ahkmou muttered.


“Seriously, why isn’t he saying anything?!” Tarix asked, approaching the limp figure.

The blue Glatorian bent over, searching all over Von Nebula.

“Dude, he’s like... still alive.” He reported, backing away. “But barely. Half of his pieces have been torn off, and something was either large enough or powerful enough to send him flying through the floor.”


“How does a plastic toy survive being shoved through the ceiling?” Kazi asked.

Tarix shrugged, as several roars and screams were heard through the hole.

“Darn.” Tahu Stars muttered.


Von Nebula stood, unnoticed by the surrounding Bionicles, who were busy staring at the ceiling. He remained unnoticed until his roar.

“HOLY COW, WARN ME NEXT TIME!” Ahkmou bellowed, bolting.

Tahu Stars rolled his eyes and prepared to battle.


“CHARGE!” He roared.

Tahu Stars’ army rushed forward, only to be sent flying back in all directions; when the dust cleared, the gaping hole was even larger and several monstrosities were either jumping down or preparing to.


“Guest Stars, attack!” the biggest one bellowed. “Today we shall show that we are not just designs!”

“Augh, it’s Flynn!” Von Nebula cried. “No!”

The hulking figure ran away, only to be squashed under Flynn’s big toe as he landed.

“Wow....” Velika breathed, approaching the gigantic guest star and poking him. “So huge... THAT IS TOTALLY AWESOME!”


Flynn flicked him away, sending the matoran crashing into a group of bananas and squishing them.

“Spread out mass destruction!” Flynn ordered.

“Got that, sir!” A Rahkshi combo saluted. “ToaDude shall totally rock their socks!”

Eleven Rahkshi Kaita Vo followed him as he approached Lewa Mata’s group.

“Oh snap.” Gelu gulped. “Not good.”



Lewa Mata rubbed his forehead, shaking his head.

“Why me?” he moaned. “Tahu Mata is not going to be pleased.

“Oh! You’re with Tahu Mata?!” ToaDude asked eagerly.

“Uh... yes...?” Gelu trailed off. “But only if it means you don’t kill us.”

“Oh, I like Tahu Mata!” ToaDude said eagerly. “Just you wait, you’ll love me!”

“I hope so.” Tarix said quietly.


As Lewa Mata’s group left the kitchen, followed by ToaDude and the Kaita Vo, Flynn had confronted Tahu Mata’s army with the other guest stars, not noticing Hero Factory slowly dropping down from the hole in the ceiling.

“You know, I was planning to stay out of the fight.” Tahu Stars sighed. “Why did that not work?”

“Probably because the kitchen is in the middle of the mansion.” Takanuva Stars answered.

“SHUT UP!” Flynn roared. “Time for your demise!”

To Be Continued...

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Part 4 – Strike 3 and You’re Out


The Spare Bedroom....


Tahu Mata, Strakk, and Mata-Nui stood beside each other as Lewa Mata’s group rushed in, followed by a series of creations.


“Tahu!” Lewa Mata gasped. “You’ve gotta help us!”

“What is it?” Tahu Mata asked.

“Hero Factory... made creations... they’re destroying Hero Factory and Tahu Stars’ armies easily.” Lewa Mata explained.

Tahu Mata froze.

“Oh snap.” Strakk muttered.


“Can’t we just not fight?” Mata-Nui asked. “There’s been far too much fighting recently.”

“You don’t like fighting because you used to be forty million feet tall.” Strakk rolled his eyes.

“Problems were so much simpler to fix back then....” Mata-Nui sighed, gazing into the distance.


“Uh, not to bother you guys, but there’s a war destroying this mansion going on downstairs.” ToaDude interrupted. “You might want to deal with that.”

“Right....” Tahu Mata sighed. “Ugh....”


Elsewhere in the Spare Bedroom:


“And that, my friends, is why you never disturb a Dodongo.” Zaktan finished.*

The Tahnok and Kohrak all clapped; the Lehvak simply sat there, sobbing.

“My friends, what is wrong?” Zaktan asked.

“Uh, hey guys? Do you know where I can find Tahu Mata?” a voice asked.


Zaktan turned at the voice.

“Kapurkar!” he cried out, speeding through the air. “How good to see you again!”

“What are you talking about?” Kapurkar asked, ducking and allowing Zaktan to slam into the wall.

“Why, remember? We went on that whole dimensional adventure where we saved everything?” Zaktan told him.


“No. We didn’t.” Kapurkar sighed. “I am actually Kapurkar, the Toa of Transport. Not that Kapurkar. He’s my evil twin brother.”

“Yeah... that’s why he helped to save the universe from certain destruction.” Zaktan agreed sarcastically.

“Fine then!” Kapurkar exclaimed, throwing his arms up in defeat. “I am Kapurkar. But we’re not supposed to be breaking that stupid wall!”


“What wall?” Zaktan asked.

Kapurkar’s eyes both popped out of the socket; a second later, a toy train had smashed through the wall and slammed into Zaktan, running over a few Kohrak in the process.

“I’ll go find Tahu Mata myself, then.” The Toa muttered.


As he walked away, a figure cloaked in the shadows silently tailed him; Agent 324 smiled grimly as he prepared to take down his fellow creation. A split second later, as he was drawing his dagger and closing in, he vanished, teleporting five feet in front of Kapurkar.

“Aw, come on!” he exclaimed. “Stupid teleportation fusion! Hero Factory sucks!”

“Hi there!” Kapurkar greeted. “Nice day for killing people, isn’t it?”

“Shut up.”


Meanwhile, in the Kitchen....


“DIE, Hero Factory!” Flynn yelled, flinging Thresher and Vapour into a wall. “You shall never defeat me!”

“YES we will!” Furno yelled back, charging.

“NO you won’t!” Flynn retorted.

“YES we will!” Furno shot back.

“WHY are the first words we say in CAPS LOCK?!” Flynn bellowed.

“I don’t know!” Furno responded. “Darn, that sucked. It just died.”



Elsewhere in the Kitchen....


“Oh Sonic-boom, sonic-boom, sonic-boom, sonic-boom!” a titan sang as he crashed through the wall.

“What are you singing?!” Pridak exclaimed.

“It’s a Sonic song.” The titan replied.**

“A what song?” Mantax asked.

The titan rolled his eyes. “You know, sonic the Hedgehog?”

“Oh, that Sonic.” Pridak nodded. “Yeah, he’s alright.”

“But Mario is so much better.” Mantax continued.


“YOU SHALL PAY FOR THAT.” The titan rumbled. “Prepare to meet your doom from the SonicBOOM.”

“I’m really hoping that wasn’t intended to be frightening.” Mantax told him. “Because if it was... well, let’s just say you suck.”

“ARGH!” SonicBOOM yelled.

He grabbed Mantax by the throat and hurled him at the wall, where the black Barraki smashed into Takanuva Mistika and a bag of marshmallows.


“Very soft.” Mantax observed. “Perfect for a situation like this!”

He then grabbed the bag and chucked it at SonicBOOM, who was sent flying away from the impact.

“Totally awesome!” Mantax grinned.

“Indeed!” Pridak agreed.


Outside the Kitchen


Tahu Nuva and Lewa Mata lead half of Tahu Mata’s army towards the kitchen as a strange Toa popped out at them, with what looked like a chain of eight dead Vorahk behind him.

“Hey guys!” he called. “The name is Biobeast, before I get to destroying you.”

“Wait....” Tahu Nuva paused. “Just Biobeast?”

“Yeah. Why would it be anything else?” Biobeast asked.

“Well, because last time guest stars got loose, we had to fight Biobeast99.” Lewa Mata explained.


“Oh, I see.” Biobeast nodded, dropping the Rahkshi. “Well, you see, the Vezons made 324 designs of me, and I am the first one.”

“So we have to deal with 324 of you.” Tahu Nuva sighed.

“No. We were all sent into the arctic on a mission, where we ended up frozen for like, fifty years.” Biobeast explained.

“Then how are you here?” Lewa Mata asked.

“Well, a couple time machines-”

“A couple?!” Lewa Mata shrieked.

“-as well as three cats.” Biobeast said. “Biobeast99 is the most powerful model, but the rest of us are super smart.”


Tahu Nuva glanced at the dead Rahkshi.

“Yeah, you’re not powerful at all.” He said sarcastically.


Back into the Kitchen....


Tahu Stars backed away from a Toa that seemed to be made of the two dead Toa Mata.

“What’s your problem?!” he exclaimed. “I thought you guys were going after Hero Factory!”

“Well, we could.” The Toa shrugged. “But then they’d be dead in seconds.”

“So instead we Bionicles get to die in seconds.”

“Yeah!” the Toa smiled. “Now prepare to be slaughtered mercilessly by Lewa #1!”


“Wait, what?” Tahu Stars stopped.

“Lewa #1. That’s my name.” the Toa told him.

“No way, man.” Tahu Stars shook his head. “We’ve already got Lewa Mata, Lewa Nuva, Lewa Phantoka, and Lewa Mistika. We are NOT having Lewa #1.”

“Yes we are.” Lewa #1 retorted. “Now shut up and die.”


Lewa #1 closed in, grinning maniacally.


To Be Continued...

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Part 5 – On the Run


The Kitchen...


“So we have to fight 324 versions of the same guy, an enraged giant whose  foot is the size of Von Nebula, several crazed Toa, a Rahkshi combiner with more Rahkshi combiners, and an assassin.” Ahkmou listed.

“Uh... yeah....” Vultraz trailed off.

“Screws this!” Ahkmou exclaimed. “I’m leaving. Let’s go back to Wal-Mart.”

Vultraz snorted. “No way, too many people go to Wal-Mart. We’d get trampled in a holiday rush.”

“Good point.” Ahkmou nodded. “But where else would we go?”


“Well, it’s spring.” Vultraz suggested. “We could always try and live outside.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Ahkmou agreed. “I’ll get a few others and we’ll be on our way.”

“See you.”


The Spare Bedroom


Kapurkar and 324 eyed each other warily.

“Why are you attacking me?” Kapurkar asked.

Agent 324 shrugged. “I got paid to by Flynn; can’t have traitors.”

“So it would seem.”


All of a sudden, Kapurkar lunged at 324, preparing to easily take his head off. However, the Agent’s teleportation ability activated, causing Kapurkar to send himself stumbling into the wall. 324 chuckled as he vanished, a chuckled that immediately disappeared as he found himself six feet into the air and falling down with a smash.


“Who is that?!” Krekka bellowed.

“Uh... me?” Agent 324 responded.

“Okay.” Krekka replied. “Just checking.”

“Good grief.” 324 muttered, turning to Kapurkar. “Wait a minute-”


A huge transport train slammed into 324; he teleported away just before being sent through a wall, landing in front of Kapurkar on his face.

“I’ve got you now.” The Toa grinned maniacally.



The Kitchen


Flynn grabbed William Furno and chucked him across the kitchen where he smashed into the Furno Bike. Ignoring the red hero, Flynn stomped on Natalie Breez, ignoring the fact that Mark Surge was uselessly stabbing his big toe.


“Hey, fatty!” a voice yelled. “Why don’t you pick on someone your own size?!”

Flynn turned around to find himself facing Duncan Bulk.

“Seriously?” he questioned.

Bulk chuckled. “Uh... can we pretend I didn’t say that?”

“Sure.” Flynn told him. “Just stand still, and it’ll be like it never happened.”


Before Bulk could react, Flynn flicked him into the fridge, where he exploded into seventeen pieces scattered across the room.

“BULK! NO!” Thresher yelled. “You fool! I am going to-”

Flynn sighed, shaking his head, before popping Thresher’s head off.

“Hero Factory, you’ve got some nerves, speaking to me like this.”


“It’s kinda all we got.” A voice said in his ear.

Flynn whirled around to see Rotor hovering in the air in front of him, soon joined by Preston Stormer, Surge, and Xplode on the Dropship.


“Do you seriously think that this is gonna hurt me?”

The sets responded by pulling out a huge cannon that appeared to be loaded with plastic utensils. Flynn’s eyes went wide in horror, and he screamed before having the ultimate, raw power of a plot device create a hole in the center of his body, taking him down. Flynn landed with a loud thud, directly on top of Vapour, who died instantly.


Xplode cringed.

“Well, that kinda sucks.” He said. “But on the bright side, we took out Flynn! Huzzah!”

He and Stormer high fived.


Outside the Kitchen:


“So the question is, how should I destroy you?” Biobeast asked. “I mean, there’s just so many ways I could do it.”

“How about you shoot us with a laser beam?” Lewa Mata asked. “Make it nice and quick.”

“Nah, I wanna hear you squeal.” Biobeast replied.

“Yeah, never mind. Attack!” Lewa Mata ordered.


Biobeast calmly lifted a finger, and the floor instantly began to cave in on the army in front of him.

“AAAAAAAH!” the army squealed.

Biobeast called happily. “Delicious sounds!”


“Delicious, huh?” a voice rumbled from the shadows. “That’s too bad. Looks like I’m gonna have to go for the disgusting angle instead.”

“Who’s there?” Biobeast called. “Show yourself!”

A Toa stepped out the shadows, his form rippling.

“Hey, that’s Zeskii!” Tahu Nuva exclaimed in disbelief. “But you died!”


“There are ways for plastic to come back to life.” Zeskii said drily.

Biobeast stepped forward.

“Let us duel then, my friend enemy.” He shrugged. “Let the best one win.”

“Indeed.” Zeskii said darkly. “But first, let me reveal my new form....”


The Toa felt apart, collapsing as if it were a costume of cloth. Inside, a huge form the size of the Axalara rose, standing upright.

“HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW, PUNK?!” Zeskii bellowed into Biobeast’s face. “I TOOK YOU OUT LAST TIME, AND I’LL DO IT AGAIN!”


Biobeast leapt back before jumping forward, smashing into Zeskii’s face and causing the titan to stagger backwards, grabbing his face in pain.

“Not so tough now, are you?” he asked.

Zeskii responded with a fist being sent directly into Biobeast’s face. The Toa flew through the air down the hallway, skidding to a painful stop at the other end of the mansion.


“This could take awhile....” Lewa Mata trailed off.


The Bedroom


“PRIDAK!” Mantax screamed.

“YES, MANTAX?” Pridak responded.


“SO DO I!”


“Come here already!” Sonicboom snorted, running after them. “You can’t keep this up forever! And when you stop, I WILL EAT YOU.”



The Kitchen Again


“I’m serious, you really need to change your name.” Tahu Stars muttered, ducking away from the creation.

“No way!” Lewa #1 cried. “That would be totally not cool!”

“You know what else isn’t cool?” ToaDude responded, entering the fray. “Picking on this guy without me. Not let’s rock the house!”


“Aw, come on!” Tahu Stars whined. “There’s like ten of you guys and only one of me!”

To Be Continued....

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  • 3 weeks later...

Part 6 – Conclusion


The Kitchen


Flynn chuckled darkly as he slowly made his rounds in the apparently deserted room. He towered over every set ever made; there was only one way he could be defeated... or so he thought.


The hole in his body was, indeed, quite painful. His chuckling hadn’t helped that at all. Hero Factory had managed to deal quite the blow to Flynn, one that had knocked him out of the fight for awhile. Now it seemed that Hero Factory had fled.


“Hey! Brute! Over here!” several voices began shouting.

Flynn turned, grinning.

“Yeah, that’s right!” Xplode taunted as the Dropship sped towards him, the Pilot’s eyes narrowed in concentration.


Flynn roared, swinging his arm through the air; the Dropship swerved away, knocking Stormer off in the process. Flynn turned to destroy the hero when a revving drew his attention away. As he turned, Corrodor and Thunder smashed into him, while he was tripped by a second Furno driving the Furno Bike into his foot.


“You will not defeat me!” Flynn hissed.

He grabbed Corrodor and flung him away into the darkness, while kicking Furno v2 and the Furno Bike into what was left of Von Nebula, putting himself back together.

“Oh no you don’t!” Flynn yelled, aiming a kick at them.


The Dropship blasted again, this time slicing through what was left of the right side of Flynn’s body. Roaring in pain and fury, Flynn dragged the Dropship down and hurled it after Corroder, before grabbing Thunder off of his shoulder. Before the silver villain could do anything, Flynn had chucked him towards the oven; however, the force tore off Flynn’s right arm, sending it spiralling down into the open basement. Flynn spun around and thudded to the ground, breathing heavily. His right arm was gone, and from what was left of his waist, it was lucky for him that his legs were still attached.


“No...!” He trailed off.


The Spare Bedroom


Kapurkar slowly approached Agent 324, a smile slowly forming on his face.

“I suppose I should share some of my past before you die.” He said casually.


“My past.” Kapurkar replied, frowning slightly. “You see, before... the comedy I come from... nothing would ever go right until the end. We’d just get screwed over. And when we overcame that problem, another rose out of its ashes.”


“What do I care?!” 324 spat, standing.

“Well, you see... there was this... villain. He was the original lord of comedies. A god, you could say.” Kapurkar took a slow, deep breath.  “He went crazy, and took over all-”

“Look, I really don’t care about your problems, alright?” 324 interrupted, slicing at him with a dagger.


“You need to know!” Kapurkar insisted. “His name... his power... he had his own comedy he resided in. But it wasn’t big at all. So when a certain matoran, destined to become ruler in his place, entered, he followed us back. And then ALMIGHTY nearly won.”


“I honestly don’t care.” 324 muttered through gritted teeth.

“You should... because I thought we killed him... but I was wrong.”

“Big deal!”

“It is. Because that comedy is over now. But this one... this one was never supposed to be popular. And he’s already taking control.”


“You’re kidding right?” 324 asked.

“Nope.” Kapurkar shook his head. “No matter what they may say, the Vezons simply wouldn’t get the idea to create us on their own. Someone put the idea in their minds... he’s made us as an army to cause enough chaos for him to take control. I feel him now... and I have no clue what can stop him.”


Agent 324 suddenly teleported five feet into the air, landing on his face with a crunch.

“Dude, you’re insane.” He responded.

Kapurkar lunged forward, grabbing him by the throat.

“If you don’t believe me...”he trailed off dangerously. “Then I’m afraid you’re of no use.”


Kapurkar grabbed a dagger off of 324’s body and stabbed it into his opponent’s chest. 324 teleported behind him, pulling a dagger out and staggering towards him.

“You... son... of a....”


With that, Agent 324 trailed off as he collapsed to the floor. As he hit the ground, he exploded into a shower of pieces, out of which a shadowy energy floated. Kapurkar’s eyes widened in fear and realization as he turned and began making his way to the kitchens.


The Kitchen


“Hey, Rahkshi Kaita!” Tahu Stars called. “Come get me!”

Several of the Vo lunged towards him, their claws extended. Tahu Stars dodged around and underneath, leaving them to all slam into Lewa #1, who shouted several obscenities before dying.


Tahu Stars backed up against the cupboards, gulping.

“You’ll pay for that.” ToaDude told him.

“Hey, Kaita!” Tahu Stars began. “In my army, I’ve got at least ten of each type of the regular Rahkshi... if you join me you can lead them.”


ToaDude sighed, and shook his head. That was all he got before the Vo pounced, eager to lead an army themselves. Tahu Stars smiled to himself, satisfied, and went to go hide.


Elsewhere in the Kitchen


Sonicboom burst out of the basement, chasing Pridak and Mantax.

“HEY FLYNN!” Pridak bellowed.

Flynn glanced up and immediately aimed a kick at them; he successfully connected with both Mantax and Sonicboom, who exploded into a shower of pieces.


Streams of shadowy energy gushed from the three fallen guest stars as Kapurkar arrived, just in time to spot two vehicles speeding towards Flynn. Smiling grimly, he activated his powers of transport, sending them at each other.


“WHAT’S GOING ON?!” Crotesius cried as he tried desperately to get the Cendox V1 moving.

Meanwhile, Surge had jumped ship as the Dropship sped towards its doom.

“Rotor!” Xplode called. “Get us out of here!”


The orange and black villain suddenly appeared beside them, firing at the engines.

“Engine two out!” he yelled gleefully as a plume of smoke appeared behind them.


Rotor fired one last shot, sending the Dropship plummeting towards the ground. Crotesius breathed a sigh of relief as the Dropship fell below him, heading straight for the paralyzed Kapurkar.


“ABANDON SHIP!” the Pilot bellowed.

Xplode leapt over onto Rotor, causing the two of them to tumble down into the garbage can; the Pilot jumped right into Flynn’s waiting hand.


Kapurkar desperately de-activated his powers, leaping for safety, but the Dropship slammed into him, crashing into the floor and exploding, destroying Kapurkar’s body. As he died, Kapurkar noticed a dark red energy slowly exiting him, forming the shape of a matoran.

Looks like Vultraz. Was his last thought before Flynn crashed through the illusion and stepped on him.


Flynn smiled in satisfaction, turning at the sounds of Zeskii and Biobeast.

“Hello?” he called.

There was a loud bang and then Biobeast’s body was slammed into the wall in front of him by a blast of sand, shattering on impact.


“That’s a curious substance.” Flynn murmured, examining the shadow energy.

“Oh, hey Flynn.” Zeskii said casually.

“Why’d you do it?”

“Well, he killed me last time, so it’s only fair.”


Flynn grunted, right before stabbing his hand through Zeskii’s body. As he had suspected, Zeskii collapsed into a pile of parts.

“I hate traitors.” Flynn informed him.


“Then you’re going to hate me.” A voice told him.

Flynn glanced over his shoulder to see a whirlwind of pieces approaching him.

“Who are you?!” he howled.

The whirlwind cackled as it reformed into the shape of a Toa almost the size of a titan set. Flynn’s eyes narrowed.


“My name is Xemnas.” The Toa called. “And I am here to destroy you.”

Flynn laughed. “Have you not seen me?! I easily caused the floor above us to collapse! I’ve decimated Hero Factory! My own fellow guest stars fear me!”


“I honestly don’t really care.” Xemnas shrugged. “Because I have you clearly outnumbered.”

Flynn glanced behind him to see the remainder of Hero Factory preparing to swarm him. He turned to deal with them, and Xemnas leapt onto his head, gouging out his left eye.


Flynn howled in pain as Xemnas gracefully flitted away from him.

“You know,” the new guest star called. “You seem to be in a bad condition and position. You have one eye, three quarters of a head, one arm, and legs that could fall off at any time.”


Flynn stumbled away as Xemnas landed on him again. This time, he stabbed into Flynn’s head and stayed there.

Very well.... The gigantic creation thought.

He concentrated, and a second later a ten second bomb countdown appeared on his chest.


“What is that?” Furno asked suspiciously.

“I’m seeing if you can defeat me in ten seconds.” Flynn grunted.

It was stupid, and Flynn knew it, but Hero Factory fell for it. They all jumped onto him, beating him with whatever they could, as the bomb went off.


Xemnas desperately sent himself flying through the air, but the shockwave caught up and flung him like a ragdoll into the wall, where he slumped to the floor. Hero Factory was sent flying in all directions, pieces exploding off of sets everywhere. Flynn himself had vanished, completely obliterated in the explosion.


Nothing in the kitchen moved; Tahu Mata’s army had, in the middle of the fight, retreated, and Tahu Stars’ army had fled to who knew where.


Silently, pieces from the guest stars began getting drawn to the basement; every guest star except for Kapurkar and Xemnas (who’s still alive). In the basement, the two Vezons, along with Fenrakk and Kardas, cowered and backed away as a figure slowly stood to his feet, easily standing twice as tall as Flynn (and also twice as large).


“I stand once again.” The figure rumbled, examining his new body as he re-coloured the pieces to suit his needs. “This time I shall not fall. This time I shall not make those mistakes. This time, I cannot be stopped.”


He turned to the Vezons.

“You shall be the first in my army.” He ordered. “Go to the bedroom, and build the Hero Factory 2.0. When you are done, lead them down here.”


Both Vezons nodded, and urged Fenrakk and Kardas forward. They went as fast as they could, fearing the wrath of their new master.


And ALMIGHTY laughed; a horrible sound to any who might have heard. Power was his again.

To Be Continued... on Tahu vs. Tahu: Invasion – Episode 2

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Part 7 – Two Point Oh


The Bedroom


“Come here.” ALMIGHTY ordered.

“I don’t want to.” Fire Lord said stubbornly. “I refuse to let you take over my body.”

“Get. Over. Here.”



“Somebody push him.” ALMIGHTY sighed.

Before Fire Lord could react, Julius Nex 2.0 (henceforth known as “Julius” or “Nex”) shoved him, sending the very first ball join titan sprawling towards ALMIGHTY.


“Now, KAZAM!” ALMIGHTY bellowed.

Something that looked like a ghost version of ALMIGHTY transferred itself to Fire Lord; a second later, ALMIGHTY himself vanished.


“That was a close one.” Fire Lord gasped.

Nex glanced over to see that Fire Lord ripped the ghost out of his body and tossed it to the ground.

“You can’t do that!” the ghost was protesting. “I’m intangible!”

“I don’t care.” Fire Lord snorted.


Nex shoved him again; this time he fell onto the ghost.


“He looks more like a creamsicle if you ask me.” William Furno 2.0 (henceforth known as “Bill” or “Furno 2.0”) replied, approaching.


“I do not!”

“Do too!”

“Do not!”

“Do too!”

Nex swore loudly before turning to Furno 2.0 and beating the living daylights out of him.



“...Do too.” Furno 2.0 croaked.

Nex rolled his eyes, walking over to the cage that held 2010 Hero Factory.

“What... are you doing?” Furno 2.0 called.

Nex didn’t reply, opening the cage.


“FREEDOM!” Rotor cried happily, speeding out and bowling Nex over. “TO INFINITY AND BEYOND!”

“Wait for me!” Meltdown exclaimed, grabbing onto his leg. “GO!”


Rotor sped off, flying through the air, dragging Meltdown with him.

“That... sucked.” Surge muttered. “I really wish I’d thought of that.”

“You’re telling me.” Corrodor complained. “The only other villain here is Xplode!”

“What’s wrong with me?!” Xplode yelled.


“All of you, shut up.” Nex ordered. “Now where’s Furno?”

“Right here.” Xplode said immediately, dragging Furno forward.

“Get off of me!” Furno exclaimed.

“What are you gonna do to him?” Furno 2.0 asked nervously.


Nex grabbed Furno 2010 in a headlock, turning to face Furno 2.0. Grinning maliciously, he twisted his arm  and popped Furno’s head off.



Furno 2.0 was cut off by Fire Lord, who smashed him into the wall.

“Suck it up.” The titan growled. “We’ve got work to do.”

Leaving Furno 2010 on the ground (missing his head of course), Nex reached in and grabbed Corrodor as well.


“This,” he began. “Is for those other two villains escaping.”

A split second later, Surge 2010 had picked up all that was left of Corrodor (his giant claw) and attached it to his arm, grinning.


Closing the jail, Nex joined Furno 2.0 and Fire Lord, who seemed more threatening than before.

“Now, Furno, I was going to make you my second in command, but seeing as you’re whiny, Nex here gets the job instead.”

“This sucks.” Furno 2.0 pouted.

“That’s exactly why I  just named Nex my deputy.” Fire Lord told him.


“You called?” Jetbug hissed, slouching over.

“Yes. Go find me that Rotor and his Meltdown. I want them both jailed as soon as possible.”

“Yes sir.”

“If you don’t find them, I’ll sick Nex on you.”


Jetbug glanced nervously at Nex before taking off. Nex stared after him, smiling evilly.


Meanwhile, Under the Bed....


“Uh, Tahu?” Gresh Stars whispered.

“Yeah?” Tahu Stars whispered back.

“Are you scared?”

“Yes. If I could, I’d be-”

“I don’t need to barf, thank you very much.”


“Whatever.” Tahu Stars rolled his eyes. “But yeah, that’s kinda creepy.”

“You know....” Gresh Stars whispered thoughtfully. “If we rescued the old Hero Factory sets, they might help us defeat the 2.0s!”

“Yeah. Then we have to fight the 2010 sets ourselves.”

“...Good point.”


Back to Where Fire Lord is


“Hey! You!” a voice yelled.

Fire Lord glanced up to the bed to see a Toa about to leap at him.

“Who are you?” he asked.


“My name is Xemnas!” the Toa yelled, lunging at him. “I’m your doom!”

The guest star slammed into the ground behind him with a grunt; he’d overshot. Fire Lord chuckled.

“Not the brightest knife in the shed, are you?” he laughed.


“It’s sharpest, not brightest, numb nuts.” Xemnas replied, rolling his eyes and standing.

Fire Lord’s eyes narrowed.

“You want doom, I’ll give it to you. On a silver platter.”


Out in the Hall


Tahu Mata snuck into the bedroom, watching the furious battle between Xemnas and Fire Lord. As he drew near to the bed, he was yanked under, a hand covering his mouth.

“It’s Gresh Stars!” a voice hissed. “Don’t yell!”

The hand released him, and Tahu Mata immediately punched the green set in the face, knocking him out cold before crawling over to Tahu Stars.



“The fact that this Fire Lord guy is able to hold his own against a creation like that worries me.” His arch nemesis told him, completely ignoring the fact that he could easily stab Tahu Mata in the back.


“Are you really that dim witted?” Tahu Stars asked.

“No.” Tahu Mata glared at him. “Of course not.”


“There’s an orange hero.” Tahu Stars continued. “He tore through one of the 2010 heroes and then one of the 2010 villains as if they were plastic.”

“That’s because we are plastic.” Tahu Mata pointed out.

“Oh, good grief....” Tahu Stars face palmed. “Dude, you and me were nearly slaughtered by the red 2010 hero, remember?”


“Yeah. I’m still kind of embarrassed about that.” Tahu Mata replied, frowning.

“That was the hero he took care of. Popped his head off like it was a cork in a wine bottle.” Tahu Stars explained.

“Yeah, I think I’m starting to see what you mean, actually.”


Suddenly, Xemnas was slammed in beside them, feebly stirring.

“Oh dear.” Tahu Mata said.

Xemnas woke up, spotted them, and then threw them out in front of him. Fire Lord grabbed them and handed them gently to Nex, while grabbing Xemnas and flinging him towards the body of Furno.


“WAIT!” Fire Lord bellowed. “That weapon is really cool!”

He wrenched Furno’s weapon away, and immediately placed it on his wrist.

“OH YEAH!” he nodded furiously, pointing it at Xemnas.


The creation dodged the blast of flame, jumping at Fire Lord. The titan flipped the jet of fire around, cleanly disintegrating Xemnas’ head and crushing his body as he jumped on it.

“There! All better.” Fire Lord nodded, smiling. “Oh yeah, Nex, you can hang out with those guys.”


“Oh dear.” Tahu Stars said.

Nex threw them against the wall, grinning maliciously. He separated his pincers, one in each hand, as he stalked towards them.


“This guy is insane.” Tahu Stars said casually, as if it were not blatantly obvious that he was about to die.

“I know, right?!” Tahu Mata replied.

“See you guys later.” Nex told them. “After life.”

“You know what?” Tahu Stars asked.

“What?” Tahu Mata replied.


“I do believe that we just got Game Overed.”

“Underwhere and Overthere, here we come!”

Nex stabbed at them, one pincer for each Tahu.

To Be Continued... ?

Edited by Lucina
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Part 8 – The Horrendous Coffee Pot


The Spare Bedroom


“Is there any news on Tahu yet?” Strakk asked.

“No, not yet.” Lewa Mata replied. “Nothing... and it looks like Tahu Stars is missing as well.”

“Why would we care about Tahu Stars?”

“I dunno.” Lewa Mata shrugged. “You wanna take a team down to look for them?”

“Uh... not really....” Strakk trailed off.

“Thanks.” Lewa Mata clapped him on the back. “Take Gelu, Tarix, and Karzahni with you.”


The Toa Mata of air the left, leaving Strakk to slump to the ground, muttering about life sucking.

“Hey, Strakk?” Tahu Nuva approached. “I need you to go look for Zaktan for me, okay?”

“Need me to take anyone with me?” the Glatorian asked, wondering why the Toa Nuva wasn’t asking why he was lying on the ground.

“Actually, yes!” Tahu Nuva grinned. “How about Gelu, Tarix, and Karzahni?”


Before Strakk could protest, Tahu Nuva had thanked him and walked off; the Glatorian began to sob, thumping the ground with his fists as Kopaka Nuva and his two Skrall Stars friends stepped in front of him.

“Strakk?” Kopaka asked, sounding concerned.

“Yeah?” Strakk sniffled, wiping several tears out of his eye.

“I’m worried about Lewa Nuva; he went off on his own to look for Tahu Mata, and he hasn’t returned....” Kopaka Nuva trailed off. “Could you take Gelu, Tarix, and Karzahni and go look for him?”


“Uh... well....” Strakk coughed. “I... suppose....”

“Great!” Kopaka beamed, smacking him roughly on the back. “See you later!”

As the Toa Nuva of ice and his two Skrall Stars walked away, Strakk fell flat to the floor and wailed, wondering why he had suddenly become the one to torture.



“Excuse me?” a voice said quietly, as a giant hand grabbed Strakk by the throat and lifted him off the ground. “Did you just... call me insane? Did I hear that right?”

“Uh....” Strakk croaked. “No, no, not at all! Why would I ever say that?”

“That’s what I’d like to ask you.” Karzahni whispered furiously, shoving Strakk against the wall. “Why would you say that?”


“Well, for one thing, you’re certainly not as good at being funny as Irnakk.” Tahu Stars informed him, walking by. “And for two things... well, no one really likes you.”

“What?!” Karzahni yelled, dropping Strakk. “I’m one of the best sets ever!”

“If you say so.” Tahu Stars replied doubtfully.


“Wait a moment.” Strakk spluttered. “You’re Tahu Stars- you’re alive- but then where’s Tahu Mata?”

“Oh, shut up.” Tahu Stars said to him irritably. “Karzahni and I are trying to have a civilized conversation, thank you very much.”

“Doesn’t look civilized.” Strakk muttered.

Karzahni responded by throwing him across the room, before turning back to Tahu Stars and continuing the conversation.


Meanwhile, in the Kitchens


“...and then we ran like crazy, ducking under several toy trains that seemed determined to murder us, jumped a couple of roller coasters, flew up to the roof using Rotor, fell back in through a window, and then I ended up here.” Tahu Mata finished.

“What...?” Iruini Hagah trailed off. “You only just arrived here!”

“Yeah!” Norik Hagah exclaimed. “Why are you finishing your tale?!”

“Oh, oops.” Tahu Mata sighed. “I’ve spoiled the ending now, so I’m not going to start over again.”


“Yeah, whatever.” Iruini muttered. “Now follow us, you’re going to prison.”

“No way!” Tahu Mata cried. “I just escaped death!”

“I don’t care.” Iruini snorted.

Tahu Mata replied by smashing him into the cupboard; the coffee pot fell off the edge and landed on the special edition Toa of air, utterly destroying him.


“Well, hopefully that wasn’t too painful.” Tahu Mata said, cringing.

“You’ll pay for that.” Norik said darkly.

However, three cups of coffee then burst out of the coffee pot, incinerating Norik and leaving a pile of parts behind.


“That doesn’t make any sense!” Tahu Mata exclaimed. “If he was incinerated, then he’s ashes! Not parts!”

“Shut it, you.” A voice rumbled behind him.

Tahu Mata froze, slowly turning around; sure enough, Irnakk stood behind him, grinning maliciously.

“Would you like to tell me where Tahu Stars is?” Irnakk asked. “Or would you like me to eat you?”

“Uh....” Tahu Mata grinned nervously. “Well, I’m not exactly sure... but I’m sure that I could find out soon enough....”

“Nah.” Irnakk shrugged. “I’m just gonna eat you.”


To Be Continued.

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Part 9 – Over and Over and Over Again


The Kitchen


Tahu Mata wrenched his arms from Irnakk, and took the opportunity to flee; or, he tried to. Instead, he crashed into Takanuva Stars, who forced him back into the arms of Irnakk, who was now mysteriously five times larger than he had been before.


“This doesn’t make any sense!” Tahu Mata cried.

“Be quite, Lewa.” Irnakk ordered. “I’m too busy dunking you in ketchup.”

Tahu Mata spluttered as he was dunked into mustard, and then wrapped in a tortilla wrap, surrounded by lettuce.


“What are you doing to me?!” he cried.

“I SAID SHUT UP, LEWA!” Irnakk bellowed.

“Why are you calling me Lewa?!” Tahu Mata yelled.



Tahu Mata glanced down; he was, in fact, green; if it wasn’t for his sword (and, he supposed, his mask), he’d be a complete clone of Lewa Mata.

“How is this even possible?!”



Tahu Mata fell out into open air, to find himself falling down towards a roaring fire.

“See you, sucker!” Kopaka Nuva called down. “Finally! Tahu Stars will be so pleased!”

“Wait, what?!” Tahu Mata muttered. “But he’s on my... oh... I get it....”


The Real Kitchen


Tahu Mata sat bolt upright, panting and drenched in sweat.

“Wait, sweat?!” he exclaimed. “How is that possible?!”

“Oh, it’s not sweat.” Takanuva Stars told him, approaching. “It’s hot water. We just dunked you in it.”


“Well, you fell into some spilt ketchup, and we needed to clean you off.” Takanuva Stars explained.

“Am I dreaming?”

“Do you honestly expect me to BLARGH?!”


The Really Real Kitchen?


Tahu Mata woke up, to find himself being dragged along by someone. Glancing down, he saw that he had an axe and was coloured blue.

“Oh, not again!”


Good Grief.


For what felt like the fourth time, Tahu Mata awoke; he was being dragged again, but this time he appeared to be completely normal.


Of course, he didn’t really trust his mind to be completely sane at this point, so who knew.

“Who’s dragging me? Am I in the Kitchen? Was I captured by Irnakk? Did I lose the battle miserably?” he babbled.

“I am dragging you.” A voice rumbled in response. “You are in the Kitchen. I did capture you. And to say you lost miserably is a vast understatement.”

“It is not!”

“Do I need to punch you again?”

“Uh... no thanks.” Tahu Mata said quickly.

“That’s what I thought.”


Meanwhile, the Spare Bedroom:


Tahu Stars dusted off his hands, having just finished dumping Karzahni into the garbage bin.

“What a loser.” He muttered.

“HEY! THERE HE IS!” A voice shouted.

Tahu Stars glanced up, chuckled nervously, and then bolted.


Later... Much Later....


“So, where exactly are we going, Strakk?” Tarix asked.

Strakk sighed. “Wherever Tahu Mata and Lewa Nuva are. Oh yeah, and wherever Zaktan is, as well.”

“Why are we in the Kitchen?” Gelu asked.

Strakk froze.


“I asked, why are we in the kitchen?” Gelu repeated.

“Oh dear.”


A second later, a green cloud had swept into them, carrying them away from where Irnakk and Takanuva Mistika had landed, cursing as they missed.

“What’s going on?!” Gelu screamed. “Let us down! I’d rather fight!”

“NOOOOOO!” Strakk bellowed.


The cloud released them with a sniff, dropping them right in front of Takanuva Mistika and Irnakk.

“Time for death, foolish Glatorian.” Takanuva Mistika grinned evilly. “You’ll go well with Irnakk’s Tahu Stew.”


“Today is a bad day for us to die!” Strakk shouted.

“Amen, brother!” Tarix yelled back.


“Whoa there, buddy.” Tarix responded. “Might want to take a couple pills... and maybe go get some counselling.”  


“Yeah... I honestly don’t want to eat you anymore.” Takanuva Mistika put in, wrinkling his nose.

“I’ll have you know our entire army is like this!” Strakk snapped.

Takanuva Mistika turned to Irnakk.

“Go get Tahu Mata and bring him here. I am NOT eating him.”

“That was easy.” Tarix commented.


Irnakk kicked him as he walked by, sending Tarix flying through the air and straight into an air vent. Gelu rushed over to help him up, tripping on the way. Strakk sighed and shook his head.

“Your army is so lame.” Takanuva Mistika commented.

“I know.”

“You should join ours.”

“No thanks. Lame is safe, exactly how I like it.”



They were interrupted by Irnakk leading Tahu Mata out, just as Zaktan reformed beside them.

“Let’s go.” Tahu Mata ordered. “Any sign of Lewa Nuva?”

“No.” Strakk said.

“He’s back in the Spare Bedroom.” Zaktan said casually. “Lewa Mata came looking for you instead.”

“Where is he?”


Zaktan pointed to the roof, where Lewa Mata was hanging from what looked like a Visorak web. Tahu Mata sighed.

“I’m still dreaming, aren’t I?”


We Now Return to Real Life.


Tahu Mata awoke to find himself tied to a pole, with Lewa Mata right beside him.

“What is going on?” he asked. “I’m still dreaming, right? This is a nightmare?”

“Uh... no.” Lewa Mata responded. “We’re literally being dragged to our doom by Nex and Fire Lord.”

“What have they got to do with anything?! How is this not a dream?!”

“Well, you see, Zaktan and I rescued you from Irnakk while Strakk, Tarix, and Gelu kept him busy.” Lewa Mata explained. “Then Takanuva Stars and Tahu Stars ran after us. We panicked, and Fire Lord and Nex found us, and now we’re going to die.”


“No. I refuse to believe it.” Tahu Mata sniffed.

“Oh, I’d believe it all right.” Tahu Stars told him as he was dragged beside them. “Trust me, if you’d been face down in the carpet for the last five minutes, you’d know you’re not dreaming.”

“I see.”


“Shut up!” Nex ordered. “I don’t want another sound, or else- what was that?”

Nex and Fire Lord paused; behind them, the sounds of several 2.0 Hero Factory sets were heard.

“I’m kinda scared now.” Furno 2.0 whimpered.

“You better be!” Meltdown snarled, slamming into him. “I’ve got a thing or two to say to you bubs!”


Before the other 2.0 sets could react, Rotor had arrived as well, smashing into Surge 2.0 and sending him flying into the wall.

“There we go.” Rotor said proudly, sounding satisfied.

“Where’s Jetbug?!” Nex spat.

“Oh... somewhere.” Rotor responded.

“Get them!” Fire Lord seethed.


Before the 2.0 sets could obey the order, several blasts of fire had freed Tahu Mata, Lewa Mata, Takanuva Stars, and Tahu Stars.

“That’s it.” Fire Lord hissed. “I’m coming myself.”

“Huh?” Tahu Mata asked. “That makes no sense.”


A crash behind him, along with the squeals of terror from several Bionicles, made him freeze.

“It makes perfect sense, Tahu.” ALMIGHTY hissed. “Now, let’s see what you’re made of.”

“Hey, Lewa?” Tahu Mata whispered.


“Did Zaktan ever tell you how to defeat this guy?”



“It’s easy enough.” Zaktan told them. “You just stab him right HERE!”

The Skakdi poked ALMIGHTY sharply in the back of the neck. The former ruler of comedies groaned, cursing, before exploding and showering everyone present in parts.

“Wow.” Zaktan seemed thoroughly unimpressed. “That was even more anti-climatic then last time. Good grief.”


He turned into a cloud again, causing Evo 2.0 to shoot through him and into the wall.

“Nice try, but no cigar.” Zaktan told him. “I can’t be killed.”

Nex 2.0 and Fire Lord chuckled menacingly.

“We don’t need to kill you.” Fire Lord hissed. “As far as I’m concerned, everyone else can die, because you’re useless then.”

To Be Continued in the Finale of Tahu vs. Tahu: Invasion!

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Tahu vs. Tahu

Invasion, Episode 2

Part 10 – The ALMIGHTY Finale


The House


“Why exactly are we the ones fighting this guy?” Tahu Stars asked, dodging an attack from Fire Lord.

“Because we’re the leaders, stupid.” Tahu Mata replied.

“Oh, please.” Tahu Stars snapped. “I’m hardly stupid, I’ve survived this long.”


A split second later Fire Lord had grabbed him and chucked the Toa into the wall, where he collapsed and did not get up.

“You suck!” Tahu Mata exclaimed. “Weakling!”

Tahu Stars, of course, didn’t reply. Tahu Mata then joined him by the wall with a crunch.



“Now then,” Fire Lord began, cracking his knuckles as he approached them, “Where shall we start?”

He was unable to continue past that; Tahu Stars suddenly leapt into the air and grabbed onto his head, trying to twist it around until he saw that it was double sided.

“That’s just cheating!” he complained as Fire Lord grabbed him by the neck and held him squirming in the air.


“Shut it.” Fire Lord ordered. “ALMIGHTY tires of your... no, I tire of your presence. For I am ALMIGHTY.”

“ALMIGHTY just died, you nincompoop.” Tahu Mata pointed out. “Zaktan killed him.”

“ALMIGHTY never dies, not really.” Fire Lord chuckled darkly.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Tahu Stars responded. “He just exploded.”

I just exploded, you mean.” Fire Lord grinned. “Did you honestly believe that with Zaktan here, I wouldn’t have a backup plan?”

Tahu Mata groaned.

“Fire Lord is me. Fire Lord does not exist. ALMIGHTY is all there is. And now ALMIGHTY thinks it is far past the time that you should’ve died.”


“Oh dear.”




“This is hardly fair!” Lewa Mata cried, dodging away from another attack by Stormer 2.0. “You guys are stronger than like, five of us Bionicles as it is!”

“Makes you easier to kill.” Stormer 2.0 grinned.

“Besides, why are you complaining?” Takanuva Stars questioned. “I’m the one fighting Nex here!”

“Not anymore.” Nex grinned maliciously.


The next moment, Takanuva Stars was sent flying into Lewa Mata; both Toa crashed into the wall and ceased all movement. Nex nodded towards them.

“Take care of them.” He ordered.

Stormer 2.0 nodded, making his way through the battle to them. Nex, meanwhile, began making his way to Tahu Mistika, Onua Mistika, Gali Mistika, Takanuva Mistika, and Kopaka Phantoka, all of whom were battling with a newly revived Jetbug and Nitroblast.


“Hey, punks!” Nex yelled angrily. “You want a piece of me?!”

Kopaka Phantoka turned around and managed to narrowly dodge Nex’s attack, losing one of his wings; Takanuva Mistika wasn’t so lucky. Nex drilled right through him, before collapsing to the ground on the other side. Takanuva Mistika swayed for a couple seconds, a look of shock on his face, before falling to the ground, crumbling into spare parts as he did so.


“TAKANUVA! NO!” Tahu Mistika bellowed.

Onua Mistika shoved the Toa of fire away, saving him from Nitroblast’s fist. However, Nex took the opportunity while he was distracted to leap over and tear the Toa Mistika of earth apart.

“You... you’ll pay for that.” Tahu Mistika snarled.

Nex smiled at him.

“I don’t think I will, actually.”


By the Front Door


Tahu Mata, Lewa Mata, and Takanuva Stars had their backs up against the door, next to the cat flap that had been conveniently placed there for plot purposes. Tahu Stars was running around in circles around Fire Lord, screaming his head off.

“When do you think he’s gonna stop?” Takanuva Stars asked.

“Hopefully never!” Lewa Mata said gleefully, shoving a mouthful of greasy popcorn into his mouth. “This is the best thing I’ve seen all year!”

“It’s like, February.”

“I know that.”


“Psst... hey, guys.” It was Pridak, sidling over to them with Mantax and Zaktan.

“What are you doing?!” Tahu Mata hissed.

“We have an idea for getting rid of- oh dear.”


“I hate it when people talk about me behind my back.” Fire Lord said dangerously, standing above them with a squealing Tahu Stars in his grip. “Do you know what I should do now?”

“Yeah.” Pridak responded, shoving Fire Lord backwards. “I’MA GONNA SHOVE YOU RIGHTA OUT OF THATA CAT FLAP!”


The white Barraki raced forwards, grabbed Fire Lord, and went to swing him around like Mario might’ve done to Bowser. Only, Pridak was exceptionally smaller than Fire Lord and did not possess super human strength, so he failed miserably.

“You disappoint me.” Tahu Stars told him.

“Says the leader who screams at the first sign of danger.” Pridak retorted.

“Shut up, both of you.” Fire Lord snapped.


“Alright, now that he’s distracted....” Mantax whispered.

Tahu Mata beckoned to him, and Mantax quickly leaned over and whispered something into his ear; Tahu Mata’s eyes narrowed in fury, and then switched to determination as he nodded.


“Let’s do this.”


The Battle with Nex


Nex successfully destroyed Gali Mistika once Nitroblast and Jetbug had gone elsewhere to fight; Tahu Mistika and Kopaka Phantoka remained, dodging around him repeatedly, though quickly tiring.

“It looks like Tahu Mata has a plan.” Kopaka Phantoka panted. “Let’s... get Nex over there.”


Tahu Mistika nodded in agreement; together, they both suddenly lunged forward at Nex, who leapt backwards in surprise, smashing into Fire Lord.

“NEX, YOU DOLT!” Fire Lord roared, flying straight into the cat flap with Pridak and Tahu Stars still in his hands.

“That was easy.” Tahu Mata commented.


Nex grabbed him by the throat and hurled him out; Takanuva Stars and Lewa Mata followed. Nex then leapt through himself, leaving the battle to wage on inside.

“Should we help them?” Kopaka Phantoka asked.

“Nah.” Mantax shrugged. “I’m sure they’ll be perfectly alright.”


Outside the House


Tahu Mata flung Nex off of him, rolling away into the stirring body of Tahu Stars, who had evidently been knocked out cold.

“Wimp.” Tahu Mata muttered, standing to his feet.

“Hey.” Zaktan appeared beside him. “How’s it going?”

“Not so good. Fire Lord is ALMIGHTY, and Nex is pure evil in set form.”

“Ah. Well, that time machine is broken, so if you push them through, they’ll either end up in the future, which is good, an alternate dimension, which is better, or the past, which will suck.” Zaktan explained.


“Not the past, or I’d know.” Tahu Mata told him. “So it’s either the future or an alternate dimension.”

“Just so you know, Fire Lord is all that is left of ALMIGHTY. Kill him here, and he should be gone from this place for good.”

“This place?”

“Yup. Which is all that matters.”

“Good point.”


Tahu Mata helped Tahu Stars to his feet, as Pridak flew by them bellowing a stream of profanities.

“We need to shove them into the machine.” He told the Toa.

“Fine.” Tahu Stars sighed.


They both ran forward, as Lewa Mata and Takanuva Stars were thrown at them by Nex. They caught the two Toa, stumbled, and ended up running straight into Nex and Fire Lord. The two Hero Factory 2.0 sets vanished into the machine, followed quickly by Tahu Mata, Tahu Stars, Lewa Mata, and Takanuva Stars.


“Wow.” Zaktan muttered. “That was anti-climatic as well. This comedy sucks.”

“You’re kidding, right?” Pridak stepped beside him. “Curses. They’re all gone. Now this war will have to end.”

“Yes, it is a terrible day indeed.” Zaktan said solemnly.

“Agreed.” Pridak clapped him on the shoulder. “This shall forever be known as the day the war was most horrendously ended, and the needless loss of countless innocents ended.”

“That... was so disrespectful it’s not even funny.” Zaktan told him.

“Says the guy who can’t die and never will.”

The End... of the Invasion.

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Tahu vs. Tahu

PSA #3 – The Mataus


The Spare Bedroom


“Hey everyone!” Tahu Mata exclaimed. “I’m Tahu Mata from the comedy Tahu vs. Tahu.”

“And I am not Tahu Mata.” Pridak responded.

Tahu Mata glanced at him before continuing.


“As you may or may not have noticed-” he began.

“And if you haven’t noticed, you live under a rock.” Pridak interrupted.

“-the Comedy Critics Club has recently been running the first annual CCC Awards.” Tahu Mata finished.

“Or the Mataus for short.” Pridak told him.


“What? That doesn’t make any sense!” Tahu Mata retorted.

“Sure it does.” Pridak shrugged. “Usually when Matau is in a comedy, he’s funny.”

“It should be the Tahus.” Tahu Mata responded. “I mean seriously, I’ve been in about every comedy ever made.”

“Yeah, you’re really cliché.” Pridak told him.


“Anyway.” Tahu Mata began. “These awards are for all comedies and comedies of 2010.”

“And if you don’t live under a rock, you’ll notice that Tahu vs. Tahu launched in 2010.” Pridak explained. “And we’re nominated for a People’s Choice Award. Needless to say, we expect you to vote for us.”

“Otherwise we might just self destruct.” Tahu Mata threatened.


Pridak turned to him.

“Not sure that’s a great idea.” The Barraki told him. “We’re kinda self-destructing already.”

Tahu Mata moaned. “Well then, we’ll... uh... be cancelled?”

“Yep, that’s a nice threat.” The white Barraki agreed. “Especially when there are so many other comedies that can occupy their time instead.”

“SO WHAT DO YOU SUGGEST?!” Tahu Mata bellowed.

“Entering you in for a cliché award.” Pridak sniggered. “You just had the typical Tahu explosion.”


“Shut up, before I go all Burnmad on you.” Tahu Mata seethed.

“Go for it! Use an emote!” Pridak taunted.

:burnmad:” Tahu Mata emoted.

Pridak sniggered.


“Okay guys, seriously.” Lewa Mata stepped up. “Get back to work.”

Tahu Mata sighed before turning back to the camera.

“So the CCC Awards-”


“So the Mataus are a way for the CCC to determine which comedy is the best of all time, which is the best of 2010, that sort of thing.” Tahu Mata explained.


“And like we said before, we expect you to vote for us.” Pridak threatened. “Or I shall blindfold you and then force feed you my rubber squid.”

Tahu Mata shuddered.


“That’s a wrap!” Lewa Mata called. “Alright, let’s go get lunch.”

“Nah, I don’t need any.” Pridak shook his head, snacking on a squid. “I’ve got lunch here.”

Tahu Mata shuddered again.

“I am so glad you’re not on my side.” He replied. “And I hope I get to kill you.”

“Typical Tahu.” Pridak muttered, rolling his eyes. “Always threatening people.”


With that, the Barraki leader walked away, leaving a seething Tahu Mata behind him.

“Dude, calm down.” Lewa Mata said, backing away. “What’s wrong with you?”

Tahu Mata shrugged. “I dunno. The script told me to be like this.”

“I hope it isn’t permanent.”

“So do I.”

PSA #3, Over.

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Tahu vs. Tahu

PSA #4 – Q & A with the Tahus


The Spare Bedroom


“Hey guys!” Tahu Mata waved to the camera. “I’m Tahu Mata from the ultimate comedy of BZPower, Tahu vs. Tahu!”

“And I’m Tahu Stars, who does not believe we are the ultimate comedy of anything.” Tahu Stars said. “Recently, we’ve been getting a lot of questions regarding the comedy.”

“Actually, we’ve been getting them for awhile.” Tahu Mata replied.

“Regardless,” Tahu Stars shrugged. “We’ll be answering some of the questions we tracked down here. Please excuse how much this is going to look like an ask comedy.”

“Because it was your idea.” Tahu Mata sniffed.


“Alright then... let’s get started.”

“Biobeast has asked us the following questions.” Tahu Star read.


1. Did Hero Factory build me in season two, or did the Vezons?


2. Why is Strakk such a pushover?


3. Why didn’t Tahu Nuva try to take over the house? Why didn’t Tahu Mistika?


“Well, the answer to question one is HERO FACTORY.” Tahu Mata responded, scratching off the first question. “As to the third... well, Tahu Nuva was just awesome like that. Plus, there weren’t very many of us back then anyways, so it didn’t really matter. Tahu Mistika just plain sucks, so that’s why he didn’t. We nearly kicked him out just for being ugly.”


“Oh, no wonder he was the first to join me!” Tahu Stars exclaimed. “I’ll be sure to have a nice long talk with him later....”

“And about Strakk: I dunno. Why do you need to know?” Tahu Mata countered. “EXACTLY!”

“Watch it there, bud.” Tahu Stars patted Tahu Mata on the shoulder. “Last thing we need is you losing our fans.”


“Whatever.” Tahu Mata rolled his eyes. “Kapurkar has asked the following questions....”


1. How did Tahu Mata get to the Kitchen, and how did Tahu Stars get to the Spare Bedroom?


2. Did you have to include ALMIGHTY in this comedy?


“The answer to question two is: yes.” Tahu Stars replied. “Dude, he’s ALMIGHTY. What kind of a comedy would we be without him?”

“A better one.” Tahu Mata responded.

“I concede defeat.” Tahu Stars said, slapping himself across the face. “Anyway... for question one... well, I ended up fleeing down the stairs with Tahu Mata, but ended up tripping and falling down the whole way. Then I figured, why not?”


“That was terrible...” Tahu Mata groaned.

“I know!” Tahu Stars exclaimed. “It hurt my back! A lot!”

“No... your story telling.”

“I told all there was to tell. But I do need to know how you possibly took the wrong turn into the kitchen.”


“Well, Nex was exiting the bedroom, so I dived into the ventilation system. I was in there for like, five hours before I found my way to the kitchen.” Tahu Mata explained.

“That should’ve been in the comedy.”

“No thank you.”


“Anyway... Zeskii asked the following question way back a long time ago.” Tahu Mata announced. “And in a galaxy far away.”

“That joke is overused.”


1. Why did you make the beginning so much like Toy Story?


“You’re right... why is this even here? How am I supposed to know?!” Tahu Stars yelled. “I mean, leave me alone! Let me live in peace!”

“Good grief, calm down!” Tahu Mata said, alarmed.

“If you think about it, we’re actually based a lot more on Red vs. Blue.” Tahu Stars said thoughtfully, returning to normal. “Two armies fighting each other... a third army that kicks the other armies’ butts in the beginning and then fails miserably... PSAs... specials... miniseries... other stuff....”


“Yeah... whatever you say....” Tahu Mata rolled his eyes sceptically. “Anyway, the final question is from Toa Zehvor MT.”




“Somehow I think we just took his words WAAAAAAY out of context.” Tahu Stars said, reading the question. “I think he’s going to be more than a little angry.”

“Plus we don’t know the answer to that question, which sucks.” Tahu Mata sad faced. “So what do we do?”


“Let’s make him a cake!” Tahu Stars suggested.

“Nah, he hates Mario games.” Tahu Mata shook his head.

“How about... an Okamiden cake?”


“How about... an Okamiden wristwatch?”

“That sounds good.” Tahu Mata nodded. “We’ll mail it sometime within the next millennia in a different dimension.”


“Or we could just give it to him when he guest stars.” Tahu Stars pointed out.

“Good idea.” Tahu Mata agreed. “We’ll do that.”


“Well, that was some of your questions answered!” Tahu Stars turned to the camera. “Stay tuned for some awesome events soon, that involve different dimensions and time travelling!”


The screen went black as Tahu Mata punched his rival in the face.

“What was that for?!”


End of PSA #4.

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Tahu vs. Tahu

Special #2 – More Jellybeans


The Kitchen


“So, what are you guys doing?” Ahkmou asked, stepping over.

“We’re deciding which jellybeans are the best, and which are the worst.” Kazi replied. “So far, it’s unanimous that the black ones suck.”

“I’m telling you, they don’t suck!” Garan protested.

“Aw, ignore them, Garan.” Tehutti shrugged. “They can’t help that they’re racist.”

“Yes they can!” Garan exclaimed.

“We’re not racist!” Kazi retorted.


“So which ones are best so far?” Ahkmou questioned.

“The white ones.” Kazi replied.

Tehutti shook his head and Garan sighed.

“See what I mean?!” Garan muttered.


“You know, that’s another thing.” Tehutti remarked. “The new Pokemon games are called Black and White. Not only is that sure to produce racist results itself, but what are they gonna call the third game? Pokemon Grey version? That sounds retarded!”

“Indeed.” Garan sighed.


“Right....”Ahkmou trailed off. “Velika, how about you?”

“Jellybeans suck.” Velika told him. “Suck more than Brussels sprouts.”

At the mentioning of the most terrible vegetable, Balta and Defilak both retched and collapsed, rolling off the counter and landing on the floor.


“Jellybeans don’t suck!” Dalu retorted, grabbing Velika by the throat. “Now YOU WILL EAT THEM!”

“Ahkmou! Help me!” Velika cried desperately.

Before anyone could react, Dalu grabbed a fistful of black jellybeans and stuffed them down Velika’s throat. Ahkmou winced, and everyone else immediately fell silent, grabbing the nearest heart shaped box of candy to offer to the Ga-Matoran.


“Just don’t feed us those things!” they cried.

“THEY AREN’T THAT BAD!” Garan yelled. “Argh!”

Dalu slapped him off the counter; he was soon followed by Tehutti.

“Alright, enough’s enough already!” Ahkmou exclaimed. “I will pick a random jellybean with my eyes closed. That jellybean will then be known as the best flavour of jellybean ever made. Agreed?”

“Agreed!” the others said simultaneously.


“Alright.” Ahkmou took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

He plunged his hand into the bag, closing around one jellybean. He already knew what it was by the screams of fury and distress. Sure enough, it was a black one.


“So, uh... see you guys for this next year, eh?” he grinned nervously.

“Die.” Dalu said in a deep, evil voice.

Ahkmou gulped.




“MAHAMA MIA!” Ahkmou screamed, running for his life.


The End of Special #2.

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Tahu vs. Tahu

Special #3 – Vultraz and Ahkmou’s Excellent Adventure


Somewhere in the Backyards:


“So, where are we exactly?” Ahkmou asked.

“Precisely eight years, fifteen days, and eleven seconds into the future.” Vultraz responded.

“Sure hasn’t changed much, has it?” Takua asked, glancing around.

“You dolt, do you seriously think we’re in the future?!” Ahkmou responded.

“Uh... yes.” Takua decided.

“Oh my god, you’re so stupid....” Ahkmou trailed off, muttering something about toenails.


“Unfortunately, it would appear Vultraz is telling the truth.” Garan told them. “Or at least, most of it. We’re actually also five days further into the future then he said.”

“You’re kidding, right?” Vultraz turned to face him. “I was joking! How did you find out?!”

“Well, seeing as, on our way out, we walked through the giant time travelling machine that says when we were and when we are, I think it’s pretty obvious.” Garan answered.


Vultraz groaned, clutching his forehead.

“So you’re saying that I’m stuck in the future with you dweebs?!” Dalu exclaimed. “Who convinced me to come on this stupid trip?!”

“Can’t we just walk back through it?!” Ahkmou asked.

“Apparently not.” Tehutti called from the machine. “Looks like we broke it.”



“Looks like someone ate some of it on the way through.” Tehutti observed.

“What?” Takua protested. “I was hungry!”

“I swear, I am going to grab a blade of grass and murder you with it!” Vultraz seethed, storming towards the Ta-Matoran and Pewku.


“Vultraz, wait!” Tehutti called. “I just need some duct tape, and we can get back!”

“Figures.” Ahkmou muttered, rolling his eyes.

“So let’s go back inside, then.” Takua suggested nervously, gulping and backing Pewku away from Vultraz.


“I’m afraid that wouldn’t be advised.” Tehutti replied, approaching. “It’s been eight years. Who knows what’s happened since then? Perhaps Tahu Stars is a tyrannical dictator. Maybe Hero Factory slaughtered us all. Maybe everyone lives peacefully in the sewers.”

“Why would we live in the sewers?” Garan asked.


Tehutti shrugged.

“You see the point, though?” he pressed.

“Yes, sadly.” Vultraz said. “We’re in the future; if we find out what happens, we’ll be trampled for information when we get back.”

“So then where do we get duct tape?” Garan questioned.




The other matoran backed away a couple steps, all of them trembling. Takua and Garan passed out, while Tehutti tripped over a conveniently placed rock and fell into the duck pond.

“Tehutti!” Ahkmou exclaimed.

“You know, I wouldn’t really care if he died.” Vultraz told them, running over. “Except for the fact that he’s the one that knows how everything works.”


“We are royally screwed over now.” Ahkmou sighed. “I’ll go in, and-”

“You seriously think we’re sending you in?!” Vultraz laughed. “Dude, in case you hadn’t noticed, you’re brown. That means you’re stone. That means you sink.”

“I’m insulted.”

“Doesn’t matter. Dalu, get over here!”


“What is it?” Dalu grouched, walking over.

“Get in there!”

“What?!” she screeched. “No way! It’s disgusting!”

“Thanks for volunteering.” Vultraz replied, patting her on the back. “Now in you go!”


Vultraz shoved the Ga-Matoran into the water; she came up once, sputtering curses towards them, and then dived down to fetch Tehutti.

“You do realize how much you’re going to regret doing that, right?” Ahkmou asked.

“Good point.” Vultraz nodded. “Cover me while I get a head start.”


Vultraz vanished, rocketing towards the house. Ahkmou groaned and sat on the ground as Dalu surfaced, throwing Tehutti into a nearby rose bush.

“Where is that shadow matoran?!” she said through clenched teeth. “I’m gonna kill him!”

“Actually, he just died of a heart attack.” Ahkmou said casually as Tehutti began screaming in pain. “So problem solved.”


“What problem?” Garan asked, waking up.

“AUGH, MY FACE!” Tehutti screamed.

“Shut up!” Garan yelled back. “Say, where’s Vultraz?”


“YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE KNEES!” Garan bellowed.





“Oh, right.” Tehutti said thoughtfully, climbing out of the rosebush. “Never mind, I’m fine.”

“Good gravy.” Garan muttered, rolling his eyes.


Meanwhile, in the House....


“Boy, this place sure is quiet.” Vultraz whispered to himself as he prowled through the shadows. “It was probably a really bad idea to come in here. It’s been eight years; who knows what’s happened.”


He could hear voices up ahead; he turned the corner and found himself facing a portal back into the yard.

“I should’ve figured.” He sighed, stepping through.


The Backyard:


“Hey guys, I’m back.” Vultraz called, sounding bored.

“I’M GOING TO MURDER YOU!” Dalu screamed.

“Uh... actually, I died of a heart attack... I just came back to life.”

“Then you’re good.”


As Dalu turned her back, Vultraz wiped his hand on his forehead, taking several deep breaths.

“Close one!” he mouthed to Ahkmou.


“So now what do we do?” Takua asked.

“Well, we need duct tape.” Garan said. “So we need to either try the house, or go to a store.”

“The house is too dangerous.” Vultraz said immediately. “We have no idea what’s happened there.”

“Alright, so it’s a store.” Ahkmou nodded.


“I have an idea!” Takua began. “How about McDonald’s?”

“No... just no.” Tehutti responded, shaking his head.

“It’s either Wal-Mart or Home Depot.” Dalu interrupted.


“Home Depot’s got way too many things that could crush us.” Ahkmou told them. “So it’s Wal-Mart... we just need to get there.”

“Well, a transit bus arrives in the area in about an hour.” Garan explained. “If we hurry, we can get there in time.”

“Then let’s go!” Vultraz yelled. “To infinity, and-”


“That’s copyrighted by Pixar and myself, numbskull!” Buzz Light-year spat, shooting lasers at the shadow matoran.

“Ow....” Vultraz let aloud, rubbing his head.

“It better hurt!” Light-year growled before speeding away.


“Yeah... let’s stay away from the Toy Story section when we get there.” Ahkmou decided.

“To the store!” Vultraz cried out weakly.

Special #3 is Over.

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Tahu vs. Tahu

Interview #1 – Lewa Mata


The Spare Bedroom


Agent i: Hey, Lewa. How are you doing?


Lewa Mata: Oh, I’m doing great. Well, not really, but, you know....


Agent i: I agree. It is difficult to do more than fine if you’re in a war.


Lewa Mata: Yeah. Doubly so if you’re stuck with a bunch of buffoons all day long.


Agent i: Who are these buffoons?


Lewa Mata: A lot of people. I don’t want to name names.


Agent i: Gotcha. Anyway, glad you could join us today for an interview.


Lewa Mata: Thanks for... wait, us? Who’s us? I only see you.


Agent i: Well, there’s me. Then, there’s the camera guy over there.


Camera Guy: Hey.


Agent i: And then there’s also the Recorder.


Recorder: Hey.


Lewa Mata: The Recorder is just a shadowy figure with no form, and the camera guy is a yellow marshmallow.


Camera Guy: Why does everyone always call me that?! Seriously!


Agent i: Well, the Recorder serves the Shadowed One in the Bionicle story. Here, he records our interviews. And the camera guy... yeah, no explanation.


Camera Guy: I have a name, you know!


Agent i: Anyways, first question.


Lewa Mata: What is it?


Agent i: What do you think of your future sets? Lewa Nuva, Lewa Phantoka, and Lewa Mistika with the Axalara T9.


Lewa Mata: Lewa Nuva’s pretty cool, actually. Silver goes quite well with our colour scheme, in my opinion. As for the other two... well, I’d complain about how they look nothing like either me or Lewa Nuva, but MAN, do I love their colour scheme! Lime green and grey are the perfect colour combination!


Agent i: Yours isn’t?


Lewa Mata: No, not really. Lime green and Mata green aren’t the perfect colours to go together. For lime green, you just need something radically different or darker, you know?


Agent i: I do now. Anyways, what about Lewa Mistika’s-


Lewa Mata: Feet? Yeah, that’s pretty bad. Lego was really lazy there.


Agent i: Indeed... I guess. Anyways, moving on. How do you feel about the deaths of Pohatu and Kopaka Mata?


Lewa Mata: I honestly have no idea... wait, you’re the one who writes this! Why are you asking me that?!


Agent i: Moving along! Do you enjoy being the second in command of Tahu Mata’s army?


Lewa Mata: It’s a great honour. And I’ve managed to hold it for ten years. And I’m not even sure Tahu Stars would boot me from the position if he took control. Maybe make me share it.


Agent i: I see... thanks for the plot device.


Lewa Mata: Don’t you dare. This axe hurts, you know. Especially when it’s three feet deep into your skull.


Agent i: That sounds disturbingly bloody and violent for a BZPower comedy.


Lewa Mata: I don’t really care at the moment.


Agent i: You will when I make you get torn to pieces.


Lewa Mata: Just ask the next  question.


Agent i: Alright. What do you think of the bonus chapters? These include the PSAs, the Specials, and now the Interviews.


Lewa Mata: I think they’re pretty cool. A nice, fresh break from reading the same plot nonstop. Just don’t overextend yourself, okay?


Agent i: What do you mean?


Lewa Mata: I don’t want to start seeing daily “Life with the Bionicles” specials, or “The Toa Mata have a barbeque”.


Agent i: The first one is cliché, and this entire comedy is slightly that, so you’re lucky there. However, that second one actually sounds like a decent Oneshot....


Lewa Mata: Just watch no one reply to it.


Agent i: Shut up. Alright, final question, since you’ve used up all our time. What are your thoughts on being infinitely more popular then the Vultraz’s Diner series?


Lewa Mata: I don’t really care. However, with both of them being you, I’m pretty sure we’re going to have to deal with that at some point. I personally hope that point is very far from now.


Agent i: How’s a month sound?


Lewa Mata: Sounds good. I’ll probably be dead by then.


Agent i: Probably. Anyways, thanks for joining us Lewa, and you can go bask in the honour of being the first character interviewed for the Ibrow Interviews!


Camera Guy: I’m standing right here, you know.


Lewa Mata: Thanks. See you.


Agent i: And you, camera guy, can shut up.

And that’s it for Interview #1. Who would you like interviewed in the future?

Edited by Lucina
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Tahu vs. Tahu

Interview #2 – Guest Star Roundtable


iBrow Comedy Productions Office:


iBrow: Hey everyone, and welcome to our second interview! This time, we’re gonna shake things up a little and have a roundtable with the current guest stars. Say hi guys!


Flynn: Hero Factory SUCKS.


Zeskii: Hello puny mortals.


Biobeast: I’m super strong AND a genius! Sort of....


ToaDude: This place smells funny... oh yeah, army, say hi!


Rahkshi Kaita Vo: We. Will. Eat. Your. Soul.


Agent 324: Why am I even here? I have people to kill.


Kapurkar: Who wants to make me mad? I feel like making a train crash through the wall. Or maybe something different; I hear aircraft carriers are in these days....


Sonicboom: Hi.


Lewa #1: Hello.


iBrow: Alright then, down to business-


Flynn: Business? I came here to have a nice talk with Kapurkar here.


Kapurkar: A nice talk? Coming from you, that means a fist in my face. No thanks.


Flynn: Hush, traitor.


Kapurkar: Dude, at least I didn’t join Hero Factory.


Agent 324: Doesn’t matter, I’m gonna kill you anyway.


Kapurkar: What about ToaDude, huh?


ToaDude: I’d greatly appreciate it if you left me out of this, actually....


iBrow: AS I WAS SAYING, down to business. First question is: Why did you decide to guest star in the comedy?


Flynn: What’s to answer? Hero Factory sucks, period.


Sonicboom: I’m actually rather fond of it, myself.


Flynn: I dare you to say that one more time.


Sonicboom: Oh, did I say I liked it?! Uh, my bad... heheh....


Flynn: You’re darn right.


Agent 324: I joined because I rather like going undercover and screwing with people’s lives.


Kapurkar: I’d just like to say this right now: I hate you.


Agent 324: Oh yeah? Why’d you join, besides the fact that you’ve guest starred in the Vultraz comedies?


iBrow: You mention those one more time, and I will shove this pencil up your eye and wiggle it around.


Agent 324: Ow....


iBrow: Alright, second question!


Biobeast: This guy is a maniac....


iBrow: Should I-


Biobeast: No thank you.


iBrow: That’s what I thought. Anyways, next question: Who in this room do you hate the most? And no, you can’t say me.


Biobeast: Darn.


iBrow: :burnmad:


Biobeast: Um... I mean... uh... I uh... I love everybody! Yeah! That’s it!


Zeskii: Well, I hate Biobeast here.


Biobeast: Dude, are you even on our side?


iBrow: Don’t answer that. It’s confidential.


Zeskii: How can I? I don’t even know my motives!


iBrow: Exactly how it should be.


ToaDude: I hate Lewa #1 here. Too many Lewa’s.


Lewa #1: I hate you, ToaDude.


ToaDude: Say that to the Rahkshi.


Lewa #1: AAAAAH!


Lewa #1 ran out of the room screaming, chased by the eleven Rahkshi Kaita Vo while ToaDude chuckled.


iBrow: I really feel like firing you right now.




iBrow: Whatever, man. Anyway: who do you think will win?


Sonicboom: You know, these seem to be questions that our real life personas should be answering, not us.


iBrow: Camera man, please escort him out.


Camera Man: I have a name.


iBrow: Yes, I know. I just don’t want to wear it out.


Camera Man: *Mutters*


Sonicboom was shackled to a fifty-five hundred pound metal ball and dragged from the room where he was thrown into the dungeons.


iBrow: Next question of this undeniable failure: which Tahu vs. Tahu character is your favourite?


Kapurkar: It has to be Zaktan.


Biobeast: You are so biased!


iBrow: Shut up! Get out of this room now, before I blow up your brains with a nuke!


Biobeast: Uh... here’s my phone number. I work at a mental hospital. Call later.


iBrow: I swear, I am going to murder you in your sleep.


Biobeast: Well, see ya.


As Biobeast exited the room, iBrow turned to the rest of the guest stars, repeating the question.


Flynn: It’s Vultraz, duh. Make him appear more.


iBrow: Oh, he’ll be showing up very soon, trust me.


Zeskii: Tahu Mata. He better win the war.


iBrow: We’ll see....


ToaDude: The Rahkshi, all of them. You should include their combiners more.


iBrow: You all have way to many suggestions. The next one to suggest something will join Sonicboom down in the dungeons.


Agent 324: I, personally really enjoy Pridak and Mantax. They really need their own- oh, snap....


iBrow: It’s all your fault, man.




Agent 324 was dragged from the room in chains by a couple of random Koopas in the room.


iBrow: Anyway, another question-




iBrow: Guards, please remove Flynn to the kitchens. Serve him to the Octoroks.


Guards: Yes sir!




Kapurkar: Wow... Lewa #1 is being torn apart by some Rahkshi combiners-


iBrow: Oh yeah, about that. ToaDude, you’ve been sentenced to a lynching in the next Bionicle Mafia because you auto-hit Lewa #1.


ToaDude: That’s a total load of bu-


iBrow: I don’t need that cursing, thank you. Vezons!


Vezons: Yes?


iBrow: I’ve got you someone to experiment on.


ToaDude: I really, really hate this job....


As ToaDude was magically taking apart by the mysterious Vezons, Kapurkar and Zeskii gulped nervously.


iBrow: Final question: How does it feel to be the last two guest stars still alive here talking?


Kapurkar: Didn’t you lock up 324 and Sonicboom?


iBrow: Dude, my prison cells are made of lava surrounded by dirt.


Zeskii: Griefer!


iBrow: I do what I want in my Minecraft servers, thank you. You can go there too for that.


Zeskii: No fair! You’re playing favourites with Kapurkar!


Kapurkar: If he was, would I do this?


A split second later, an aircraft carrier smashed through the wall into iBrow, knocking him across the room. Zeskii was flattened and turned into a piece of yarn instantly, leaving Kapurkar standing alone in the wreckage as the Camera Man returned.


Kapurkar: What a mess....


Camera Man: Aw, come on! I gotta clean this stuff!


Kapurkar: Globin?!


Globin: Yeah, what? You thought I was really dead?


Kapurkar: Yes....


Globin: No. I got fired. And then I got this sucky job. You better go. I’ll tell him you drowned.


Kapurkar: Yeah... see you....


Kapurkar left the room, leaving the mess for Globin to clean up.




Three years later, Kapurkar had bought himself an island from an unknown owner. Unfortunately, that owner happened to be iBrow, who ended up sending eighteen ballistic missiles that sent the island down to the inner core of the earth.

The End of Interview #2.

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Tahu vs. Tahu

Interview #3 – Tahu Mata & Tahu Stars




iBrow: Hey guys. Thanks for coming.


Tahu Mata: No problem.


Tahu Stars: We’re getting paid extra for this, right?


iBrow: What?! No!


Tahu Stars: Dang it....


iBrow: Anyways guys, first question: When you’re not filming for Tahu vs. Tahu, what are you doing?


Tahu Stars: Wait a minute... filming?!


iBrow: Yeah. You’re in a movie of text.


Tahu Stars: This makes no sense whatsoever.


iBrow: What do you mean?! You’re walking off set all the time to take naps!


Tahu Stars: Yeah, I’m just messing with you.


iBrow: I hate you. I really do.