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Wanted: Chronicler


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Wanted: Chronicler







In a press release early this morning, Turaga Vakama issued a statement relating to an apparently missing Matoran, known only as “The Chronicler,” whose disposition is not dangerous but whose absence is proving disastrous to the inhabitants of Ta-Koro and Mata Nui at large.  He then issued a statement regarding the inconsiderately early hour of the press conference, allegedly grumbling, “This isn’t Le-Koro, and I’m not a bird.”


Indeed, residents of Ta-Koro who had previously managed to forget almost entirely of the Chronicler’s existence suddenly found themselves with a mounting pile of reasons why he was so sorely missed.


“I had a lava surfboard to deliver to him, but now I don’t know what to do,” stated a local vendor.  “People vastly underestimate the risks of storing too many surfboards in one place.  Pretty soon I’m hardly going to be able to get through my door alive.”


Another Ta-Koro vendor reported that while he could not even remember the Chronicler’s name, he was “pretty sure he owed me at least a small amount of money.”


But the fiery village is not the only one affected by this mysterious absence.  Up the cable in Ko-Koro, Matoro, the most vivacious of the snowy heights’ residents, has apparently just remembered that he loaned the Chronicler an ice sculpting kit in dubious condition and, despite the numerous chuckles afforded by observing the Chronicler’s vain attempts to chisel a likeness of Guard Captain Jaller out of ice before it inevitably melted in the sweltering village’s heat, realized that he wants it back.  Turaga Nuju could not be reached (or understood) for comment.


Another carver is upset about the disappearance: Po-Koro’s master craftsman Hafu is reported to be “repeatedly running in circles” in Po-Koro’s local quarry, otherwise known for its touching if bizarre collection of oversized, carved Toa heads.


While no cries for the Chronicler’s return besides a cryptic Astrologer’s diagram are reported from Ga-Koro, several inhabitants are reportedly smitten with his bravery and “rebellion against the Man, or rather, all men.”  There is no speculation on whether the Chronicler’s alleged strikingly off-color blue mask has any bearing on these events.


Le-Koro was too far above the ground to be properly interviewed, but an earnest Turaga Matau was observed to shout down something about a “leaky pipe to be fix-repaired.”


No Onu-Koronan interviewed had issue with the Chronicler, although Ussalry Captain Onepu expressed his sympathy for the fellow weird-colored Matoran on behalf of everyone from Onu-Koro who is colored purple.


His whereabouts remain unknown, but rumors are circulating that the Chronicler is currently engaged with not caring about an island’s worth of people who haven’t cared about him until now and with eating a sandwich.

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