Onuki Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 Ko-Koro Welcomes TahnokChannels of Communication Frozen According to recent reports, life as no one else knows it has been frozen in Ko-Koro, where an ironic squad of Tahnok has made itself welcome. The invasion/voluntary show of hospitality follows several recent press releases from the self-aggrandizing Tahnok swarm, who felt they “hadn’t taken over enough villages yet.” Illustrious Turaga Nuju has not been seen since the first day of the good-natured attack, leading top Ko-Koronan detectives to suspect that he is probably “buried somewhere in the snow with a Krana on his face.” Rumors persist that he has actually escaped and is “currently drinking Fikou juice in Le-Koro.” With their eloquent Turaga gone, life in Ko-Koro’s hub of wisdom and main tourist attraction, the Sanctum, has changed dramatically for most of its formerly permanent residents. Some, such as one Kopeke, have merely been assigned the duty of endless contemplation in slightly more useful places, such as the North March guard hut or the top of Mt. Ihu. Others, such as busybody Sanctum sage Jaa, have been escorted from the village by a stoic pair of Tahnok Va without further explanation. In the chaos and/or pervasive feeling of togetherness, the only Ko-Koronan whose position has remained secure seems to be the wily Matoro, the Rahi-hunter and Turaga-translator whose semi-useful skills have made him an instant favorite with the gregarious Tahnok, most of whom struggle with the English language. “We can finally be understood!” exclaimed one. “Why is there nothing in this village?” pondered another. In spite of their plight, most of the newly-Krana’d Ko-Matoran seem to be handling the situation relatively well. “All hail the Bohrok overlords,” commented one Ko-Koro citizen. “…,” explained another. The Tahnok themselves have enjoyed the spoils of their icy eviction, throwing wild parties in the Sanctum and basking on top of Ko-Matoran’s former homes in the area’s minimal sunlight. Several industrious Tahnok Va have even opened up a sushi restaurant using their overabundant ice-fishing harvest, hoping to better feed the hungry swarms of Tahnok, but mostly out of boredom. “It beats babysitting Krana all day,” shrugged one. The response from the rest of Mata Nui has been dim. Onu-Koronan miners have halfheartedly offered to try digging a secret escape tunnel from there to Ko-Koro, but they have met with little support and no funding for their tentatively gallant gesture. Others have continued scheduled trade shipments to the icy village, unwittingly making the Tahnok swarm’s presence even stronger. When asked about the possibility of Ta-Koronan intervention in the icy hot crisis, a brusque Turaga Vakama replied, “…” 7 Quote The Latest and Fakest in Bionicle News Wanted: Chronicler | Wedding Announced | Bohrok-Kal Miffed | Staring Contest Continues Hakuna Vakama | Rau Convention Held | Globe Circumnavigated | Carver Offers Advice | Parade Possible Onepu Characterized | Koli Ball Shortage | Le-Koro Discovered | Toa Don Disguises | Top Toa Tied | Ko-Koro Welcomes Tahnok Hakuna Vakama Animation | Macku Goes Missing | In the Ice | The 1000 Word 2001 Poem | Kopaka the Toa | Honest Bionicle Trailers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Railblazer Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 Well...I'm kind of surprised the place hasn't melted yet...Also explains what Kopeke's doing out on the North March. Also: Sushi restaurant? Obviously a plot to reduce Ta-Koro's hot dog market in Ko-Koro, further weakening them for eventual conquest! Another fantastic news story from Mata Nui! I'm not sure what we would do if you weren't reporting such news... 1 Quote 110,422 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erasmus Graves Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 What would we do without the news from Mata Nui?Man, these articles are a matanuisend. Ah, the poor Onu-Koro miners. Low budget? More like no budget (Onepu probably took it when no-one was looking).Anyway, another fantastic news story, and good on you, our island-wide chronicler! 1 Quote "Mutiny, Booty and Entropy" - The Three Vices of the Frostelus[flash=250,100]http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/sprxtrerme/BANNERS/thornax.swf Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xboxtravis Posted December 4, 2015 Share Posted December 4, 2015 Yes, another funny one. The fact it looks like you have an actual news archive building up makes it all that funnier. 1 Quote All aboard the hype train! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Onuki Posted December 16, 2015 Author Share Posted December 16, 2015 Thanks a lot, guys! I'm glad you enjoyed this one! It wasn't easy to report on, what with the normal channels of communication being frozen... Also: Sushi restaurant? Obviously a plot to reduce Ta-Koro's hot dog market in Ko-Koro, further weakening them for eventual conquest! It really seems like the fire characters have a sort of monopoly on the Mata Nui food industry, doesn't it? Although my choice of sushi for the Tahnok to cook doesn't really seem to make as much sense from that angle, since sushi isn't really cooked or heated excessively... I think. Maybe the Tahnok Va and the Ta-Koronans should have a cookoff to decide fate of Ko-Koro! Stay posted for future reports! Quote The Latest and Fakest in Bionicle News Wanted: Chronicler | Wedding Announced | Bohrok-Kal Miffed | Staring Contest Continues Hakuna Vakama | Rau Convention Held | Globe Circumnavigated | Carver Offers Advice | Parade Possible Onepu Characterized | Koli Ball Shortage | Le-Koro Discovered | Toa Don Disguises | Top Toa Tied | Ko-Koro Welcomes Tahnok Hakuna Vakama Animation | Macku Goes Missing | In the Ice | The 1000 Word 2001 Poem | Kopaka the Toa | Honest Bionicle Trailers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pohatu: Uniter of Stone Posted December 16, 2015 Share Posted December 16, 2015 Thanks a lot, guys! I'm glad you enjoyed this one! It wasn't easy to report on, what with the normal channels of communication being frozen... Also: Sushi restaurant? Obviously a plot to reduce Ta-Koro's hot dog market in Ko-Koro, further weakening them for eventual conquest! It really seems like the fire characters have a sort of monopoly on the Mata Nui food industry, doesn't it? Although my choice of sushi for the Tahnok to cook doesn't really seem to make as much sense from that angle, since sushi isn't really cooked or heated excessively... I think. Maybe the Tahnok Va and the Ta-Koronans should have a cookoff to decide fate of Ko-Koro! Stay posted for future reports!Yeah, for whatever reason no one likes to eat Po-Koronan food. They always complain that its "too hard" or "dry" and sometimes "literally a rock." 2 Quote I HATE SCORPIOS ~Pohatu Master of Stone, 2015 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petewa Posted December 16, 2015 Share Posted December 16, 2015 Thanks a lot, guys! I'm glad you enjoyed this one! It wasn't easy to report on, what with the normal channels of communication being frozen... Also: Sushi restaurant? Obviously a plot to reduce Ta-Koro's hot dog market in Ko-Koro, further weakening them for eventual conquest! It really seems like the fire characters have a sort of monopoly on the Mata Nui food industry, doesn't it? Although my choice of sushi for the Tahnok to cook doesn't really seem to make as much sense from that angle, since sushi isn't really cooked or heated excessively... I think. Maybe the Tahnok Va and the Ta-Koronans should have a cookoff to decide fate of Ko-Koro! Stay posted for future reports!Yeah, for whatever reason no one likes to eat Po-Koronan food. They always complain that its "too hard" or "dry" and sometimes "literally a rock." Why would they complain about that? That's what makes it good! Quote Mataru Nui, an Interactive Adventure Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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