Christmas At Ground Zero

[bioniclehero01]

Can you believe it? Christmas is this Sunday. Isn't it hard to believe time has just flown by like that? That the year is almost over, and that by this time next year the whole world will come crashing to an end. But before we dawn our gas masks and our zombie repelents in preparations for 2012, we gotta celebrate the holidays! So, in honor of this great tradition of getting presents, me, The Dark Chronicler, Ironman197, and the infamous iBrow (he should make that his name ) present to you a comedy for the holiday season, based on perhaps one of the most depressing, yet hilarious, Christmas song ever recorded. So in honor of the season, no matter what holiday you're celebrating this season, I welcome you to ...Christmas at Ground ZeroPart 1 of 12: Icarax got Ran over by a Yakby The BIONICLE HeroTakanuva loved Christmas. It was absolutely his favorite holiday.He loved the snow, he loved the cheer, he loved the tree, and he even tolerated his family. And if you knew his family, you'd know how amazing that was. Everything and anything about Christmas was just his favorite thing in the whole world, and it was the very reason he suffered through countless hours of fighting to get everyone presents, so that way he could tell them he got them something nice and they'd HAVE to get him something just as big. THAT was the best part of the season to him...But not this year.Or the last few years for that matter. Things just haven't gone his way… especially around the holidays lately. I mean, Thanksgiving '09 he lost his job, Christmas the same year Tahu thought it'd be a good idea for him to fix the turkey, of which they spent the night watching Taka's parent's house burn to the ground, and Halloween 2010... He just tried to keep those memories repressed, but he did remember it had something to do with a cake and some sort of lie... It seemed these days everything Taka even thought of turned into a big pile of useless wreckage.And Taka didn't like it. Not at all… He was beginning to wonder if even Artakha had it better than he did. At least Artakha excepted his horrible life… Well besides the numerous suicide attempts. Why had everything gone wrong for Taka lately…? Why was his life falling apart around him, and just when he thought it couldn't get any worse, the floor would fall out from under him and he'd find a whole basement full of Visorak…Standing there in front of his tree, Taka found he was at one of his lowest points… This year was perhaps the worst yet. Bella was off in Britain with her 'friend', and Taka was here… Stuck in a warehouse/apartment full of people crazier than he was. Thanks to Tahu, even his family hated him now. Well, they weren't fond of him before, but thanks to last New Years, a box of fireworks, and a guy named Guy, they hadn't returned his calls since.So here Taka was, depressed at Christmas. How could it get any worse…ARTAKHA: Hello my friend.Jumping, startled, Taka turned to see the floor had fallen through once more… Well, not literally… you get it.TAKA: Artakha, please… I'm not in the mood…Artakha just sadly nodded.ARTAKHA: It seems no one is ever in the mood for me anymore…Artakha just jumped out the window as he always does during his depression fits. This time not landing on a fire escape…Standing outside carrying a box full of his favorite Christmas decorations, Icarax was getting ready for decorating. He too loved Christmas, but despite his horrible life, he never let it get the best of him. Icarax was just as cheerful as he always was this time of year, getting ready to -From above, a suicidal Artakha landed hard on the poor unsuspecting Makuta…But it wasn't Icarax.Icarax turned startled to see Artakha had landed on some other poor Makuta. Shocked, Icarax stood frozen... Knowing this was too good to be true. He looked arround for other falling objects or escaped creatures or meteors or anything really to make sure it was safe, and to his, and everyone's for that matter, surprise... He was safe...ICARAX: It's a Christmas mirracle...Skipping like a school girl with a sugar rush doing a bad impression of a ballet dancer, Icarax found himself over joyed at how much his luck had changed. That is, until he ran out into the road and got ran over by a Yak.Flying in his slay, pulled by the flying Yak's ('cause they're more efficient than Reindeer... He doesn't have to fill them up as much, Reindeer fuel is expensive these days... Santa has to save money to, ya know, flying arround the world in one night ain't cheap!), a skinny Santa clause looked back as he flew away, eating his non-fat sugar-free cookies.SANTA: Did we hit something?Spitting out the disgusting cookie, Santa tossed it of the side of the slay.SANTA: Stupid diet... Stupid wife thinks she's the boss of me, 'eh?As Santa flew away, he reached into his secret stash of real cookies. 'Cause he's fly like that.But back in the B-Teams living room (and to the real story), Taka just stood staring at the tree still, a single ornament that had a picture of Bella in it drawing most of his attention. He thought she looked beautiful in that picture… Despite the fact her skin was whiter than Kopaka's armor on bath day.Walking in and seeing his friend all depressed, the drunk Tahu knew how to make him feel much, much better.With a very, very good story.TAHU: Taka-sh… Sit-sh down.Takanuva turned… he knew this wouldn't be good.TAKA: Tahu, please, I just want to be alone for a little while.TAHU: Do not-sh worry-sh my friend-sh… I jusht have-sh a story-sh you should hearsh.TAKA: Really? Something really tells me I shouldn't.TAHU: Don't worry, thish ish a very happy shtory… About love-sh, and joy-sh, and family-sh, and Chrishtmash.TAKA: Fine…And with that, Tahu began. Well, he blacked out for a couple seconds first, but as soon as he woke up he began his 'Chrishtmash' tale...Mata Nui help us...P.S. TO THE NUISLAY!! Edited December 21, 2011 by The BIONICLE Hero

[Voltex]

...and his Christmas tale was that iBrow rules the world, and everyone should know it.The end.-ibrow

[Toa Smoke Monster]

Poor Icarax. Not everyone gets run over by a yak. And just when he thought he was safe. :PAnyway, this chapter set up this sub-story really well. I can'r wait to see what happens. Just don't make us wait for a month, if it can be avoided. :PAlso, I did find two spelling errors with this chapter, and they are:

At least Artakha excepted his horrible life

Should be 'accepted.'

ICARAX: It's a Christmas mirracle..

Should be 'miracle.'These are the only spelling mistakes I could find. Good job with this chapter! http://www.bzpower.com/board/public/style_emoticons/default/cool.png

[Vinylstep]

Nice work, Hero. It's been a long time since I've done any reviews (due to a lack of: time, story updates, short enough stories that it doesn't take forever, and due to TF2). Anyways, let's get started, shall we? (Also, yes iBrow, I will try and get to Tahu vs. Tahu soon. You can stop pestering me on that... )1. Yeah, I can't believe it either. This January I could barely draw anything, yet now i'm building particle cannons and weapons of mass dest- .... Uh... Never mind. But this year has gone by fast, i'll say that.2. Ah, you knew one of my favorite post-apocalyptic states of the world. I feel so special.Onto the Comedy itself:3. I'm surprised Icarax hasn't been run over by a yak before now. Also, not to show my questionable OCD (not really), but wouldn't it be 'run' over by a yak?4. Very good reasons to love Christmas.5. Wait... If he's had to fight over presents does that mean that he goes to.... Black Friday?! (or Boxing day for people living in Canada). OH, THE HORROR! The pure, unadulterated horror!6. ... Oh, you also noticed my love of references. This comedy might as well should me my Christmas present this year.7. Silly Hero. Nobody has it as bad as Arthaka. Right, Artha- Oh wait, he jumped off a bridge again.8. Hey, I know that guy! He's awesome, he gave me a sandwich, but it made me fall asleep and the next morning I noticed a scar on my stomach. ... Still, awesome guy.9. Wow. Icarax not being injured is indeed a Christmas mira- And he got hit by a yak.10. That's Santa for you. 11. "I got a touchin' story for ya'. Once upon a time, I lived and you died. The end."But at least kind-of seriously, this was a nice start to this twelve-parter (despite the few spelling errors here and there, bu we all do that type of thing). Good work, I look forward to the rest of it, though admittedly it would be nice to change up the jokes a bit. A few running gags can be hilarious, but too many can get a little out of hand. That's all I have to say. Also, I suppose I should make a new sign-off for the Smissmas season.... Eh, I'll come up with it later.