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Biological Chronicle: The Complete Bionicle Collection


TuragaNuva

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Great work!

 

I downloaded the "standard" version of the complete collection. I did notice that there was a single blank page in the PDF (just a page number, no text), and there were a few typos in the pages I read. I didn't make any specific notes about where they were, but I may as I have more time. (I read about 150 pages, and scanned through the rest, though I plan on reading more.) That said, I can tell that you're a perfectionist (at least in regards to this project), and the care you've taken really shines through.

 

The one thing I noticed is that it's kind of difficult for me to go from chapter to chapter when I don't know what it is that I'm reading. Sometimes it's a serial, sometimes it's a book, etc., and while some of it (like the "Wall of History") is clearly labeled, some of it isn't, and it takes a minute to orient myself to the text as it jumped around from source to source. I found it a little frustrating that I didn't know where the text of any given chapter was from, especially when you took the care to put everything in order. Perhaps those more familiar with the text than I won't find this a problem, but I'd love a little more in terms of labeling. Would it ruin your "chapters" mentality, though? I don't know.

 

There are a few small other things that you may want to consider including. The "Legend of Lewa" comic may not be canon per se, but when asked about it, GregF essentially said, it doesn't contradict anything, so why not? There are a few things like that, but I was SUPER impressed that you've included stuff from the MNOGs. I probably would have made some slightly different editorial choices than you, but these are little things. This is a MASSIVE undertaking, and I thank you for doing it.

 

(Question, because I didn't see the answer while I scanned through the pages, but is the text for "The Truth" and "The Rising" podcasts from BIONICLE.com included?)

 

If you ever feel like working on yet another alternate version, I have a few ideas on a version of the project that I'd like to see, and, of course, I'd be happy to help out in any way that I can. Otherwise, I'll just enjoy the thousands of pages you've given us.

 

Thank you, thank you, thank you. Truly incredible. This is something that every BIONICLE fan should check out.

 

 

[EDIT] The blank page was 1260.

 

My idea, if you wanted to label things without adding additional text (ie. "this is a chapter from a book"), is that you could include like, the book cover, or the BIONICLEstory.com logo, or whatever else in the corner of the chapter page so we know where the material is coming from. But maybe that would be too difficult?

 

No matter what: I love this project. Thank you again.

Edited by RWallace
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So, I realized a while back that the Bionicle story is... a little hard to read. You've got the chapter books, the comics, the serials, the podcasts, etc., and no easy way of knowing what orderd all be read in. Well, I've decided to try and fix that.

 

This is Biological Chronicle: the Complete Bionicle Collection. I've made PDFs containing every text- and audio-based piece of canon Bionicle fiction, plus any comics with story material not included elsewhere, in an ideal reading order. Everything is here, from the MNOG walkthrough to the Early Reader books. I re-did the existing podcast transcriptions, refined the existing translation of The Crossing, got the best comic scans I could, and just generally tried to make sure that everything is as high-quality as possible. This compilation is divided into 10 "Books," or volumes, each containing roughly one year's story.

 

Now, I understand that some people might have different preferences for what's included, so I've created a few different versions of each volume to try and have options for every reader (the specifics are detailed for each one below). For example, every volume has a "Text-Only" option: no comics, no picture books, etc. I've also created a single, complete PDF, with EVERY volume in it (as well as another version of it that's text-only).

 

I've spent many months working on this, but understand that there may still be some minor formatting issues or typos here and there. If you find any, please let me know! I want these collections to be as perfect as possible.

 

Also, serious thanks to Toatapio Nuva, who typed up all the chapter books, and gave me great advice during the process of putting this together. Without his help, I can't imagine how much longer this would have taken me.

 

So, anyways... I hope you guys enjoy! All feedback is welcome.

 

 

Links:

 

Book 1: Infection

"Standard:" Has the canon version of the Shadow Toa fight (from the Style Guide)

Text-Only: No comics. Has the canon version of the Shadow Toa fight

Hapka version: Has the original version of the Shadow Toa fight from Tale of the Toa

Text-Only, Hapka version

 

Book 2: Swarm

Standard

Text-Only: No comics

 

Book 3: Masks

"Standard:" Includes the MNOG II walkthrough from BS01

Text-Only: No comics. Includes the MNOG II walkthrough from BS01

No MNOG II

Text-Only, No MNOG II

 

Book 4: Legends

Standard

Text-Only: No comics

 

Book 5: Hordika

"Standard:" Includes screenshots from the Search for the Mask of Light Animations

Text-Only: No comics, or animation screenshots

No Animations: No screenshots

 

Book 6: Doomed

Standard

Text-Only: No comics

 

Book 7: Sacrifice

Standard

Text-Only: No comics

 

Book 8: Ignition

Standard

Text-Only: No comics. Includes text from Journey of Takanuva, rather than scans

 

Book 9: Destiny

Standard

Text-Only: No comics. Includes text from Early Reader books, rather than scans

 

Book 10: Epilogue

Standard (there are no comics in this one)

 

Complete Collection

"Standard:" Includes "standard" versions of all Books

Text-Only: Includes the "Text-Only" versions of all Books (and the Standard Book 10)

you are awesome !!!
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Great work!

 

I downloaded the "standard" version of the complete collection. I did notice that there was a single blank page in the PDF (just a page number, no text), and there were a few typos in the pages I read. I didn't make any specific notes about where they were, but I may as I have more time. (I read about 150 pages, and scanned through the rest, though I plan on reading more.) That said, I can tell that you're a perfectionist (at least in regards to this project), and the care you've taken really shines through.

 

The one thing I noticed is that it's kind of difficult for me to go from chapter to chapter when I don't know what it is that I'm reading. Sometimes it's a serial, sometimes it's a book, etc., and while some of it (like the "Wall of History") is clearly labeled, some of it isn't, and it takes a minute to orient myself to the text as it jumped around from source to source. I found it a little frustrating that I didn't know where the text of any given chapter was from, especially when you took the care to put everything in order. Perhaps those more familiar with the text than I won't find this a problem, but I'd love a little more in terms of labeling. Would it ruin your "chapters" mentality, though? I don't know.

 

There are a few small other things that you may want to consider including. The "Legend of Lewa" comic may not be canon per se, but when asked about it, GregF essentially said, it doesn't contradict anything, so why not? There are a few things like that, but I was SUPER impressed that you've included stuff from the MNOGs. I probably would have made some slightly different editorial choices than you, but these are little things. This is a MASSIVE undertaking, and I thank you for doing it.

 

(Question, because I didn't see the answer while I scanned through the pages, but is the text for "The Truth" and "The Rising" podcasts from BIONICLE.com included?)

 

If you ever feel like working on yet another alternate version, I have a few ideas on a version of the project that I'd like to see, and, of course, I'd be happy to help out in any way that I can. Otherwise, I'll just enjoy the thousands of pages you've given us.

 

Thank you, thank you, thank you. Truly incredible. This is something that every BIONICLE fan should check out.

 

 

[EDIT] The blank page was 1260.

 

My idea, if you wanted to label things without adding additional text (ie. "this is a chapter from a book"), is that you could include like, the book cover, or the BIONICLEstory.com logo, or whatever else in the corner of the chapter page so we know where the material is coming from. But maybe that would be too difficult?

 

No matter what: I love this project. Thank you again.

 

Thank you so much! I'll try to address everything you've said:

 

First of all, the blank page should be gone now. Thanks for letting me know! If you do get the chance to write down what any of those typos were, I'd really appreciate it :).

 

I understand where you're coming from with not labeling the sources of each piece of text. But, for one thing, the different texts aren't always split evenly by chapter: there are times where it seemed to make the most sense for a chunk of a serial to go in the middle of a book chapter (a good example is Chapter 9 of Into the Darkness), and this would be difficult/awkward to label. Also, the story as it was already switches perspective pretty often (Destiny War features 3-4 concurrent sets of characters, in varying locations), so I didn't think it would be that problematic to have it switch a little more. I guess my thinking was that I want someone with no knowledge of the original, separate stories to be able to read it, and not have to feel like they need to worry about what came from where.

 

I briefly considered including the Legend of Lewa, but is there an English translation of it? I could only find the original.

 

The Rising is in there, but I left out The Truth, as I felt that it was redundant with The Final Battle's epilogue already included. I should probably put a list of everything included in each volume in the first post.

 

Please, let me know what other alternate versions you'd like to see (this goes for anyone else reading this as well)! I can't promise I'll have it done quickly, but I will do my best to put together different versions that there's enough demand for.

 

I hope that covered everything. I'm really glad you like the project! It's taken me a long time, but I think it was definitely worth it.

 

 

you are awesome !!!

 

Thanks :P

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Many thanks for this!

 

Also, never understood why 'Bionicle' means 'Biological Chronicle'.

 

I would of thought it would be 'Bionic Chronicle' instead which makes so much more sense since the vast majority of the characters are mostly mechanical.

 

You're welcome!

 

I've assumed that the name is because the story is sort of about a body undergoing a disease (even if that body is actually robotic). But yeah, for years I thought Bionicle came from the word bionic. 

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Wow. This is truly amazing. It's one thing to be able to read all the novels again (I didn't buy them when I had the chance and I don't think my library has all of them anymore), but I imagine reading them with all the serials woven in really elevates the experience. I have yet to read it thoroughly, but it looks beautiful and I'm very eager to start binge-reading it when I have the time.

 

I can't imagine how much time and effort this must have taken. And I love how you've created so many different versions to accommodate different preferences. Thank you so much.

 

Out of curiosity, have you considered sending this to BioMedia Project? It would make a great addition to the fan projects section.

Edited by Tyrion Archer

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Wow. This is truly amazing. It's one thing to be able to read all the novels again, but I imagine reading them with all the serials woven in really elevates the experience. I have yet to read it thoroughly, but it looks beautiful and I'm very eager to start binge-reading it when I have the time.

 

I can't imagine how much time and effort this must have taken. And I love how you've created so many different versions to accommodate different preferences. Thank you so much.

 

Out of curiosity, have you considered sending this to BioMedia Project? It would make a great addition to the fan projects section.

 

Thank you! I thought of sending it to BMP, but last I checked they're against posting digital versions of the chapter books on their site.

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You have done a massive service to the Bionicle fandom TuragaNuva, and I'm glad I got to be part of this project. It's definitely a great way for old fans to go through the entire story, conveniently gathered in one document, but also an easier way for new fans to jump in. I particularly like the way you included even the Hordika search for the mask of light-episode screenshots. Kinda reminds me of some of the promotional Lego comics from the late 90's, which had little text but a lot of stuff happening in them.

 

All in all, fantastic work! As a die-hard Bionicle fan, I am very greatful for this.

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You have done a massive service to the Bionicle fandom TuragaNuva, and I'm glad I got to be part of this project. It's definitely a great way for old fans to go through the entire story, conveniently gathered in one document, but also an easier way for new fans to jump in. I particularly like the way you included even the Hordika search for the mask of light-episode screenshots. Kinda reminds me of some of the promotional Lego comics from the late 90's, which had little text but a lot of stuff happening in them.

 

All in all, fantastic work! As a die-hard Bionicle fan, I am very greatful for this.

 

Thank you, man! My biggest obstacle to accomplishing this was getting all the books typed up; it was a daunting task that I felt like I would never be able to finish. I've wanted to make this compilation for years, but you sending me your work is what pushed me to finally do it. I'm incredibly grateful for your help.

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This is absolutely colossal. This is a huge service done to the fandom around Bionicle, and ensures the survival of the lore in its most complete form. We cannot thank you enough for the work put into this.

 

:kakama:

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:kakama: Stone rocks :kakama:

Model Designer at The LEGO Group. Former contributor at New Elementary. My MOCs can be found on Flickr and Instagram

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I realized some people would probably want to see them, so I've added a link to my notes at the end of the first post. They show the rough final reading order (though there may be some late changes that I didn't write down). I'll try to put together a more finalized list of what all is included and where, but this should give you a pretty good idea.

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I briefly considered including the Legend of Lewa, but is there an English translation of it? I could only find the original.

 

There is indeed; it was published in the Lego Adventures magazine in the UK back in 2001, which I used to have every issue of when I was a kid - and there was a Tahu comic in the subsequent (and final) two issues, too. Regrettably, I only have the magazines with the first two parts of the story in now; but if it would help, I can scan those for you.

 

I'll also see if I can find the remaining three issues anywhere, too, for completeness sake. Ebay might help me there, I think.

Edited by Darth Jaller
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"New legends awake, but old lessons must be remembered.
For that is the way
of the BIONICLE."

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I briefly considered including the Legend of Lewa, but is there an English translation of it? I could only find the original.

 

There is indeed; it was published in the Lego Adventures magazine in the UK back in 2001, which I used to have every issue of when I was a kid - and there was a Tahu comic in the subsequent (and final) two issues, too. Regrettably, I only have the magazines with the first two parts of the story in now; but if it would help, I can scan those for you.

 

I'll also see if I can find the remaining three issues anywhere, too, for completeness sake. Ebay might help me there, I think.

 

Scans of those would be super helpful! Do you know what the issue numbers were for the magazines those comics appeared in? (I know you mentioned that it was the last few issues, but I don't know how many there were). I might like to track them down myself, if possible.

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Sure thing! They were issues 30 - 34; each issue had two comics in, with the Bionicle ones being in the second half of each issue. The magazine was released monthly, so those issues were, respectively, September 2001 - January 2002.

 

If it helps, they're listed on Bricklink on this page: https://www.bricklink.com/catalogList.asp?catType=B&catString=462 - though no-one's actually selling them there at present.

 

 

I'll scan the pages from issues 30 and 31 shortly ^^ It's really a shame I didn't keep the other ones, because they seem to be hard to come by now; but kid me just wanted the pictures for something else and didn't think about preserving the comic for the future ^^;

Edited by Darth Jaller
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"New legends awake, but old lessons must be remembered.
For that is the way
of the BIONICLE."

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Sure thing! They were issues 30 - 34; each issue had two comics in, with the Bionicle ones being in the second half of each issue. The magazine was released monthly, so those issues were, respectively, September 2001 - January 2002.

 

If it helps, they're listed on Bricklink on this page: https://www.bricklink.com/catalogList.asp?catType=B&catString=462 - though no-one's actually selling them there at present.

 

 

I'll scan the pages from issues 30 and 31 shortly ^^ It's really a shame I didn't keep the other ones, because they seem to be hard to come by now; but kid me just wanted the pictures for something else and didn't think about preserving the comic for the future ^^;

Thanks so much! I'll keep an eye on BrickLink for the other issues.

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Aw man, thanks so much for the scans! I've been hoping the English version would pop up since I translated the Russian version back in the ancient year of 2012

 

I hope you're able to track down the other issues, I've never had any luck finding them. Knowing there's an unseen Tahu comic makes me really wish I had! Was his about mask hunting too?

Edited by Pereki
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believe victims. its actually not that hard, and youd look kind of bad if you were to, say, side with an abuser because theyre your friend

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Aw man, thanks so much for the scans! I've been hoping the English version would pop up since I translated the Russian version back in the ancient year of 2012

 

I hope you're able to track down the other issues, I've never had any luck finding them. Knowing there's an unseen Tahu comic makes me really wish I had! Was his about mask hunting too?

 

No problem ^^ Glad I could be a bit of help!

 

If I remember correctly - it has been maybe fifteen years since I saw the comic - the first part of it had him meeting Jala, and having a brief run-in with a Muaka, before Jala led him to Ta-Koro... so the continuity kinda conflicted with MNOG there. And in the second part, I seem to recall him saving Ta-Koro from a lava flood; and then the final two pages were composed of a set of individual panels, each showing a different one of the Toa and where they were at the time.

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"New legends awake, but old lessons must be remembered.
For that is the way
of the BIONICLE."

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Aw man, thanks so much for the scans! I've been hoping the English version would pop up since I translated the Russian version back in the ancient year of 2012

 

I hope you're able to track down the other issues, I've never had any luck finding them. Knowing there's an unseen Tahu comic makes me really wish I had! Was his about mask hunting too?

Thank you for sharing your translation! I did some editing and put this together for Part 3:

1 2 3 4

5

 

With this and Darth Jaller's scans of Parts 1 and 2, I'll start looking into where this could fit in the compilation. Thanks so much to both of you!

Edited by TuragaNuva
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WOW

 

I'm just starting to look through the PDFs. Everything looks really clean and thoughtfully organized. I love the chapter logos! The text and comics are beautifully interwoven.

 

I'm almost afraid to ask, but how long did it take Toatapio Nuva to type up the chapter books? Also, would he consider releasing those texts in a format that's easy to read into a program, like a word document or HTML file? PDF is okay but not ideal. That would be an invaluable resource.

 

Where did you get those beautiful scans of Challenge of the Rahi?

 

EDIT: Typo on Book 3, p. 127: "she arrives a set of stairs" -> "she arrives at a set of stairs"

 

EDIT: Did you mean to leave out the last page of comic 15 at the end of Book 3? The iconic "You are not the first Toa" scene has been left out. I think it works much better if you leave it in.

 

Editing as I find more things...

 

  • The comic scan on p. 87 of Book 1 is a bit dark and blurry. Couldn't you use the PDF from the From the Vaults CD?
  • The way you combined the telling of the transformation of the Toa Metru is clever. FYI, the two intro scenes with Kapura, then Ahkmou and Nidhiki, come after Toa Lhikan's capture chronologically. But maybe you did that intentionally for the sake of flow. Oh, and thank you for replacing "kolhii" with "akilini." If you want to be super correct, I think akilini is supposed to be lower case.
  • Would it make more sense to move "Tentacles" to the end of 2005?
  • Idea for an alternate version: The "original" version of the 2001 story. That is, the Toa get their golden masks from their suva as shown in MNOG and the card game, and the Toa Kaita vs. Manas battle takes place as shown in the Legend of Mata Nui game. Possibly incorporate the text from the Quest for the Masks story cards.
  • Page 120 of Book 2 is blank.
  • Wow, you even edited the numbers in the comic titles? FYI, the end of Enemies of Metru Nui still says "End Chapter Four."
  • Could you somehow incorporate the extra promo pages from comic 8, seen here?
  • Book 4, p. 163: Could you clip off the yellow box with the blurb about graphic novel 4?
  • Book 5, bottom of p. 41: Missing period.
  • General comment on the comics from the first series: It looks like you scanned these from the graphic novels. Were you aware that comic 1-27 have good quality PDFs? Did you have a reason for not using them?
  • Oh boy, I just got to the Search for the Mask of Light panels. Brilliant!
  • Book 5, p. 216: fouth -> fourth
  • Book 6, p. 216: Wrong font.
  • Book 6, p. 218: Just call me 'Grey'" <- the double quote is the wrong way. There are more errors like this in the chapter.
  • Book 7, p. 13: Should "Now" be bold?
  • I don't think "Decadence" should be first in Book 9. It reveals way too much about the history of Bara Magna and Spherus Magna too early in the story. I think a better place would be just after All Our Sins Remembered. I also think Fall and Rise of the Skrall should go somewhere around the first time the baterra are mentioned in Empire of the Skrall.

 

Sigh... I didn't want to sleep tonight anyway...

 

Thank you tremendously for all of the hard work you poured into this!

Edited by Planetperson
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First of all, an update on the Legend of Lewa comic: sadly, I don't think there's any way to fit it in so that it makes sense. When we first see Lewa in Tale of the Toa, he's swinging through the jungle, not able to remember anything other than what he thinks is his name. This doesn't really work with him meeting Kongu and learning who he is immediately after exiting his canister. So, I'm thinking it won't be getting added.
 

WOW
 
I'm just starting to look through the PDFs. Everything looks really clean and thoughtfully organized. I love the chapter logos! The text and comics are beautifully interwoven.
 
I'm almost afraid to ask, but how long did it take Toatapio Nuva to type up the chapter books? Also, would he consider releasing those texts in a format that's easy to read into a program, like a word document or HTML file? PDF is okay but not ideal. That would be an invaluable resource.
 
Where did you get those beautiful scans of Challenge of the Rahi?
 
EDIT: Typo on Book 3, p. 127: "she arrives a set of stairs" -> "she arrives at a set of stairs"
 
EDIT: Did you mean to leave out the last page of comic 15 at the end of Book 3? The iconic "You are not the first Toa" scene has been left out. I think it works much better if you leave it in.
 
Editing as I find more things...

  • The comic scan on p. 87 of Book 1 is a bit dark and blurry. Couldn't you use the PDF from the From the Vaults CD?
  • The way you combined the telling of the transformation of the Toa Metru is clever. FYI, the two intro scenes with Kapura, then Ahkmou and Nidhiki, come after Toa Lhikan's capture chronologically. But maybe you did that intentionally for the sake of flow. Oh, and thank you for replacing "kolhii" with "akilini." If you want to be super correct, I think akilini is supposed to be lower case.
  • Would it make more sense to move "Tentacles" to the end of 2005?
  • Idea for an alternate version: The "original" version of the 2001 story. That is, the Toa get their golden masks from their suva as shown in MNOG and the card game, and the Toa Kaita vs. Manas battle takes place as shown in the Legend of Mata Nui game. Possibly incorporate the text from the Quest for the Masks story cards.
  • Page 120 of Book 2 is blank.
  • Wow, you even edited the numbers in the comic titles? FYI, the end of Enemies of Metru Nui still says "End Chapter Four."
  • Could you somehow incorporate the extra promo pages from comic 8, seen here?
  • Book 4, p. 163: Could you clip off the yellow box with the blurb about graphic novel 4?
  • Book 5, bottom of p. 41: Missing period.
  • General comment on the comics from the first series: It looks like you scanned these from the graphic novels. Were you aware that comic 1-27 have good quality PDFs? Did you have a reason for not using them?
  • Oh boy, I just got to the Search for the Mask of Light panels. Brilliant!
  • Book 5, p. 216: fouth -> fourth
  • Book 6, p. 216: Wrong font.
  • Book 6, p. 218: Just call me 'Grey'" <- the double quote is the wrong way. There are more errors like this in the chapter.
  • Book 7, p. 13: Should "Now" be bold?
  • I don't think "Decadence" should be first in Book 9. It reveals way too much about the history of Bara Magna and Spherus Magna too early in the story. I think a better place would be just after All Our Sins Remembered. I also think Fall and Rise of the Skrall should go somewhere around the first time the baterra are mentioned in Empire of the Skrall.
Sigh... I didn't want to sleep tonight anyway...
 
Thank you tremendously for all of the hard work you poured into this!

 

Oh my gosh. Thanks so much for all your feedback! Let me try to address everything here that isn't just simple typo fixes (which I will get fixed ASAP):

  • We could probably post the text as a word doc. What would you want it for, exactly?
  • I scanned Challenge of the Rahi myself!
  • I left the page out while I considered whether to put it in or not, but I realize now that I never actually went back and made a final decision about it. My concern was if it would flow well into the beginning of '04. I'll take a look and make a final decision.
  • Not familiar with that CD, but does it have that version of the page? It's the one from the first graphic novel collection (back before Papercutz did theirs), and has an extra panel the original comic doesn't have. I know the scan quality looks kinda bad, but that's really just because it's next to high-quality digital pages: I scanned it with the same scanner I used for Challenge of the Rahi.
  • The combining/rearranging of the the early events of '04 was done by both me and Toatapio Nuva. Putting the intro scenes with Kapura and Ahkmou where they are was Toatapio Nuva's doing, and I thought it worked well. But if it's not chronologically correct, I might go back and reconsider. Also, like 90+% of the credit goes to him on fixing canonical name spellings before and after Naming Day.
  • It didn't seem to me like it mattered too much where Tentacles went, but I might be missing something. Why there in particular?
  • An "original" version is an interesting idea, and one I will consider, but to be honest, '01 already has 4 versions, and adding another thing that could be different essentially means I have to double that (each existing version would also need an "Original Story" version, so 8 total). It's also relatively complex change.
  • Dangit, really? I could've sworn I fixed all the "End Chapter"'s. Ugh.
  • Wow, did I really forget to do that? I tracked down a copy of the special edition of comic 8 (which literally took months), and scanned the pages myself. Guess I forgot to actually put them in. Whoops.
  • Yeah, I should probably wipe that out. I wasn't sure if it looked worse like that, or just as an empty box, but I guess the latter probably looks better. I'll probably also get the boxes that make reference to the movies or the website.
  • If you're referring to the versions of the comics on BS01, they're certainly not as high-res as these. The ones I used are actually the Comixology releases of the Papercutz graphic novels, so they're full HD.
  • Thanks! I really wanted to find a way to incorporate Search for the Mask of Light. I'm glad people seem to like it; I wasn't sure how well my method would be received.
  • You make a fair point about Decadence. I need to actually re-read it in full (I'll admit, I skimmed it when deciding where to put it). I fully agree that the past of Bara Magna shouldn't be spoiled too early (which is why I moved All Our Sins Remembered to so late in the story). Fall and Rise of the Skrall I might leave as-is, just because it's long enough that I'd prefer it didn't interrupt the other story, but I'll take another look.

Whew, I think that's everything. I'll try to get all the simple fixes done today, and everything mentioned here fixed before Monday. Thanks again for your feedback!

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I have to say, I agree with Planetperson about comic 15.  I feel like that last page just has too much impact not to be included.  That being said, I have yet to actually start reading this, so I may be missing something.

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  1. We could probably post the text as a word doc. What would you want it for, exactly?
  2. I scanned Challenge of the Rahi myself!
  3. I left the page out while I considered whether to put it in or not, but I realize now that I never actually went back and made a final decision about it. My concern was if it would flow well into the beginning of '04. I'll take a look and make a final decision.
  4. Not familiar with that CD, but does it have that version of the page? It's the one from the first graphic novel collection (back before Papercutz did theirs), and has an extra panel the original comic doesn't have. I know the scan quality looks kinda bad, but that's really just because it's next to high-quality digital pages: I scanned it with the same scanner I used for Challenge of the Rahi.
  5. The combining/rearranging of the the early events of '04 was done by both me and Toatapio Nuva. Putting the intro scenes with Kapura and Ahkmou where they are was Toatapio Nuva's doing, and I thought it worked well. But if it's not chronologically correct, I might go back and reconsider. Also, like 90+% of the credit goes to him on fixing canonical name spellings before and after Naming Day.
  6. It didn't seem to me like it mattered too much where Tentacles went, but I might be missing something. Why there in particular?
  7. An "original" version is an interesting idea, and one I will consider, but to be honest, '01 already has 4 versions, and adding another thing that could be different essentially means I have to double that (each existing version would also need an "Original Story" version, so 8 total). It's also relatively complex change.
  8. Dangit, really? I could've sworn I fixed all the "End Chapter"'s. Ugh.
  9. Wow, did I really forget to do that? I tracked down a copy of the special edition of comic 8 (which literally took months), and scanned the pages myself. Guess I forgot to actually put them in. Whoops.
  10. Yeah, I should probably wipe that out. I wasn't sure if it looked worse like that, or just as an empty box, but I guess the latter probably looks better. I'll probably also get the boxes that make reference to the movies or the website.
  11. If you're referring to the versions of the comics on BS01, they're certainly not as high-res as these. The ones I used are actually the Comixology releases of the Papercutz graphic novels, so they're full HD.
  12. Thanks! I really wanted to find a way to incorporate Search for the Mask of Light. I'm glad people seem to like it; I wasn't sure how well my method would be received.
  13. You make a fair point about Decadence. I need to actually re-read it in full (I'll admit, I skimmed it when deciding where to put it). I fully agree that the past of Bara Magna shouldn't be spoiled too early (which is why I moved All Our Sins Remembered to so late in the story). Fall and Rise of the Skrall I might leave as-is, just because it's long enough that I'd prefer it didn't interrupt the other story, but I'll take another look.

Whew, I think that's everything. I'll try to get all the simple fixes done today, and everything mentioned here fixed before Monday. Thanks again for your feedback!

 

  1. A word doc just containing the original text of the novels would be perfect! To be honest, I don't have anything specific in mind for them yet, but I work with computers and text for a living. I can think of a couple fun applications: you could use it to make a program that generates text that sounds like Greg's writing style, or try to summarize the novels automatically. The possibilities are endless, the hard part is just getting the words into the computer.
  2. Nice, looks good.
  3. I encourage you to include it. :) It's a nice teaser for the next book. Revealing the existence of past Toa through the intro to Mystery of Metru Nui takes away all of its intended impact.
  4. Woah, I never noticed there was an extra panel in Volume 1. That's interesting! I checked, and it doesn't look like the digital versions include that panel. Maybe you could Photoshop the lightness and contrast of the scan a bit so it looks less jarring. (Sorry to hold you to such high standards, but you set the bar so high. :) )
  5. Ah, so you replaced "Jaller" with "Jala," "Pewku" with "Puku" and so on? I remember seeing "Jaller" used at the end of LoMN. Should that have been changed to Jala?
  6. Well, it was written in 2006. In real life, we didn't explore the time between 2005 and 2001 until after 2005 was done. However, it does include Matoran characters from MNOG2, so that makes it flow sort of nicely. Otherwise, it just seems randomly tacked on to the end of 2003 for no reason. If it's at the end of 2005, then at least it sort of goes in chronological order as we work our way back to the present. Also, I'm surprised at how amazingly good of an intro "Hope" is to 2006. I was never a big fan of the story, but here it works pretty well.
  7. Just throwing something out there. I know there's not a lot of text to work with.
  8. Ok
  9. Never mind, you included it. Sorry, I skimmed through this pretty quickly. On this note, do you have scans of the 2004 Lunchables comics by chance? The ones currently available are so bad...
  10. Ok
  11. I'm not familiar with the Comixology releases. What are those?
  12. It's good. It might be possible to trim down the number of panels in some places. Would you consider including the Templar flash animations for 2002?
  13. One crazy idea is to put the Core War stuff in middle of the Legend Reborn, right after one of the scenes where the Glatorian are disparaging the Great Beings. I encourage you to move Skrall later. Unlike other story years, I think 2009 needs to start in the present day, since 2008 was left on a cliffhanger.

Something I randomly noticed in "No One Gets Left Behind"... can you use the word "grizzled" to describe a Toa? It refers to having gray hair...

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Update time! Change log:

  • Typos and blank pages reported by Planetperson have been fixed across all versions (btw, I couldn't find the "fouth" or the missing period, but I've re-exported the PDFs from Word in case those are old typos I'd already fixed and the PDFs weren't up-to-date)
  • The final 2 pages of comic 15 ("You are not the first Toa!") have been added to the end of Book 3
  • Pages from comic 8 (including the exclusive pages from the Special foil-cover version) have been added to Book 2
  • The scanned page of comic 3 that didn't match in quality to the other pages has been brightened, so it matches better
  • Most (I would like to say all, but I'm sure I missed some) of the textboxes mentioning the movies, books, or other graphic novels have been edited or colored over.
  • "End Chapter Four" at the end of Enemies of Metru Nui has been fixed to say "End Chapter"

EVERYONE: please take the time to re-download the Book(s) you're interested in, if you want the best-quality version!
 
 

  • A word doc just containing the original text of the novels would be perfect! To be honest, I don't have anything specific in mind for them yet, but I work with computers and text for a living. I can think of a couple fun applications: you could use it to make a program that generates text that sounds like Greg's writing style, or try to summarize the novels automatically. The possibilities are endless, the hard part is just getting the words into the computer.
  • Nice, looks good.
  • I encourage you to include it. :) It's a nice teaser for the next book. Revealing the existence of past Toa through the intro to Mystery of Metru Nui takes away all of its intended impact.
  • Woah, I never noticed there was an extra panel in Volume 1. That's interesting! I checked, and it doesn't look like the digital versions include that panel. Maybe you could Photoshop the lightness and contrast of the scan a bit so it looks less jarring. (Sorry to hold you to such high standards, but you set the bar so high. :) )
  • Ah, so you replaced "Jaller" with "Jala," "Pewku" with "Puku" and so on? I remember seeing "Jaller" used at the end of LoMN. Should that have been changed to Jala?
  • Well, it was written in 2006. In real life, we didn't explore the time between 2005 and 2001 until after 2005 was done. However, it does include Matoran characters from MNOG2, so that makes it flow sort of nicely. Otherwise, it just seems randomly tacked on to the end of 2003 for no reason. If it's at the end of 2005, then at least it sort of goes in chronological order as we work our way back to the present. Also, I'm surprised at how amazingly good of an intro "Hope" is to 2006. I was never a big fan of the story, but here it works pretty well.
  • Just throwing something out there. I know there's not a lot of text to work with.
  • Ok
  • Never mind, you included it. Sorry, I skimmed through this pretty quickly. On this note, do you have scans of the 2004 Lunchables comics by chance? The ones currently available are so bad...
  • Ok
  • I'm not familiar with the Comixology releases. What are those?
  • It's good. It might be possible to trim down the number of panels in some places. Would you consider including the Templar flash animations for 2002?
  • One crazy idea is to put the Core War stuff in middle of the Legend Reborn, right after one of the scenes where the Glatorian are disparaging the Great Beings. I encourage you to move Skrall later. Unlike other story years, I think 2009 needs to start in the present day, since 2008 was left on a cliffhanger.
Something I randomly noticed in "No One Gets Left Behind"... can you use the word "grizzled" to describe a Toa? It refers to having gray hair...

 

Okay, I'm not numbering these since several of your points don't seem to need a response, so I'll try to make it clear what each bullet is responding to:

  • It should be spelled "Jala" in all scenes taking place before Naming Day, and "Jaller" in all scenes after. So if that was in "present day" (while Vakama is telling the story), it's fine.
  • I'll take a closer look this weekend at where to put Tentacles. I was kind of lost as to where to put it, since it doesn't directly lead from or into anything else.
  • Yeah, an "original" version is definitely a cool idea. It's just a lot of work :P. I'd like to gauge general interest in it first (so people: if you want that, let me know!)
  • Those comic pages actually weren't included when you asked about it; I'd just already put them in by the time you looked again :P
  • I can never keep straight which ones are the McD comics and which ones are Lunchables, but I made scans of some of those (some are featured, at least partially, in the compilation)
  • Comixology is a digital comics store/reader, and they had most of the Papercutz Bionicle graphic novels available for a while. They're not available anymore for whatever reason, but I bought all the ones they had, and I can still access them.
  • To be honest, I don't want to touch those Search for the Mask of Light panels ever again :P. They took sooo long. I would consider the Bohrok animations, but - and maybe I'm remembering this wrong - don't the Wall of History entries cover those events?
  • That's definitely an interesting suggestion (on where to put the Core War stuff). I'll need to take a closer look at where Decadence should go. I'll try to get it and Tentacles' locations worked out this weekend.
  • I'm pretty sure I've heard the word grizzled just used to describe someone experience/tough, so I would think it's fine.
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  1. It should be spelled "Jala" in all scenes taking place before Naming Day, and "Jaller" in all scenes after. So if that was in "present day" (while Vakama is telling the story), it's fine.
  2. Comixology is a digital comics store/reader, and they had most of the Papercutz Bionicle graphic novels available for a while. They're not available anymore for whatever reason, but I bought all the ones they had, and I can still access them.
  3. To be honest, I don't want to touch those Search for the Mask of Light panels ever again :P. They took sooo long. I would consider the Bohrok animations, but - and maybe I'm remembering this wrong - don't the Wall of History entries cover those events?
  4. That's definitely an interesting suggestion (on where to put the Core War stuff). I'll need to take a closer look at where Decadence should go. I'll try to get it and Tentacles' locations worked out this weekend.
  5. I'm pretty sure I've heard the word grizzled just used to describe someone experience/tough, so I would think it's fine.

 

  1. It's the scene where Jala's broken mask is replaced with Lhikan's, so it should be "Jala."
  2. Shoot, wish I'd known. That's why those pages look so good. Did they give you PDFs?
  3. The animations have more detail. Take the incident with Pohatu Nuva and the Mahi, for example.

Decadence might work at the beginning of 2010, too. I'd prefer The Exile's Tale be moved away from the beginning too.

 

Can you color over the page numbers in the Level 3 readers? Also, the lines caused by the spine of the book don't look good. Can I suggest covering it with a black or white bar, separating them like panels in a comic?

 

Book 9, pp. 246 and 256 are blank.

 

It might be appropriate to include some of the story summaries from bionicle.com. The fall of Tajun comes to mind. I don't think the actual battle is described anywhere else.

 

 

2. Tajun

 
Indistinct figures lurk in the sands north of the water village of Tajun. Skrall warriors hunch behind dunes, while nearby dozens of Bone Hunters dart among the dunes, heedless of who sees them. Growls between the two groups drift on the wind, but do not reach the unsuspecting village. A shrouded figure exchanges hushed words with leaders of both factions and gestures toward Tajun. Nodding, Tuma and his Bone Hunter counterpart stalk back to their warriors. Dust plumes rise from their feet as both groups start to run toward the village.
 
In the Tajun arena, Gresh stands waiting for Tarix to show up for a practice bout, when he sees above the canyon walls a dust cloud heading directly for him. Although still a rookie, Gresh takes only a moment to understand, and shouts for everyone to get out. Startled Agori drop what they are doing and immediately dart for the nearby hills of Knee Island, but a few stay to help defend their homes. Grabbing his weathered weapons, Gresh hurries to the oncoming dust cloud. He has no hope of defeating them all, but he will make their victory as expensive as he can.
 
Bone Hunters fall under Gresh’s blade as the first wave of attackers stream past him. Grimly, Gresh prepares for the next wave of Bone Hunters, and is shocked when Skrall warriors thunder past him, raiding and looting the Agori homes before destroying them. One Skrall knocks Gresh down, and he fights for his life against the dark warrior, managing to evade powerful sword strokes until he can stumble into a narrow crevice and lose the Skrall. Panting, badly wounded, Gresh watches in misery as the combined force tears the village apart. Even worse, he looks on as they head straight for hidden doorways and places where Gresh knows valuables are stored.
 
Slowly, the raiders finish their work and filter out through the deep crevices that form Tajun village. Gresh, barely able to walk, is forced to wait until help arrives. After a time that feels like years, Gresh’s fellow Glatorian Kiina and Ackar arrive, along with Mata Nui. Gresh manages to tell his rescuers of the alliance between Bone Hunters and Skrall before passing out.
 
The three look at each other. They know what Gresh had left unspoken: there was a traitor among the villages.
Edited by Planetperson
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It might be appropriate to include some of the story summaries from bionicle.com. The fall of Tajun comes to mind. I don't think the actual battle is described anywhere else.

Hey, planetperson, would you mind sharing some links to the archives where you've found these summaries? Thank you!

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It might be appropriate to include some of the story summaries from bionicle.com. The fall of Tajun comes to mind. I don't think the actual battle is described anywhere else.

Hey, planetperson, would you mind sharing some links to the archives where you've found these summaries? Thank you!

 

 

Sure.

 

http://web.archive.org/web/20091201112928/http://bionicle.lego.com:80/en-us/story/mistika/1matanui.aspx

 

FYI, the "fouth" typo is in the Search for the Mask of Light, under the panel where Whenua says "Go to Ga-Metru and find the fouth Makoki stone!" I'm pretty sure that's a typo in the original.

 

The missing period is where Vakama says, "No, it is far more than that It is... a reminder."

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Okay, new updates!

  • Tentacles is now appended to the epilogue of Book 5, rather than being the Prologue of Book 4
  • Replaced instances of "Jaller" at the end of Legends of Metru Nui with "Jala"
  • Fixed Challenge of Mata Nui page spacing (which, in turn, fixed the blank pages in the middle of it)
  • Fixed missing period at beginning of Chapter 4 of Book 1
  • Fixed "fouth" in Search for the Mask of Light animations
  • Fixed missing period in Vakama's statement "No, it is far more than that. It is... a reminder."
  • Corrected the margins on Book 5's epilogue (they somehow got messed up?)
  • A few other minor formatting/typo fixes

I'm still working out what to do with Decadence (and possibly the other stuff currently at the beginning of Book 9).
 
 
 

  • It's the scene where Jala's broken mask is replaced with Lhikan's, so it should be "Jala."
  • Shoot, wish I'd known. That's why those pages look so good. Did they give you PDFs?
  • The animations have more detail. Take the incident with Pohatu Nuva and the Mahi, for example.
Decadence might work at the beginning of 2010, too. I'd prefer The Exile's Tale be moved away from the beginning too.
 
Can you color over the page numbers in the Level 3 readers? Also, the lines caused by the spine of the book don't look good. Can I suggest covering it with a black or white bar, separating them like panels in a comic?
 
Book 9, pp. 246 and 256 are blank.
 
It might be appropriate to include some of the story summaries from bionicle.com. The fall of Tajun comes to mind. I don't think the actual battle is described anywhere else.

 

  • Jala spelling is fixed (see above)
  • Comixology has PDF export available for some comics (it depends on the publisher). That wasn't the case for the Bionicle comics, but there are... other ways of converting them to jpeg or pdf.
  • Gotcha. I'll have to re-watch them and decide.
  • As mentioned above, I'm looking into it. Might not have a decision made by this weekend, but know that I'm working on it!
  • I tried coloring over those page numbers, but it's not nearly as quick or easy as with some of the other stuff I've colored over, since 1) they're not a solid, even color (mostly due to printing and scanning quality), and 2) they're not rectangular. This makes my usual method of just drawing a colored rectangle over it not effective :P. I'll try to go back and do it, though. It'll just take more time.
  • The line between the book pages doesn't look great, but since it's supposed to be one big image across both pages, I feel like making the pages look even more split would be worse.
  • Those blank pages should now be fixed (see above)
  • Oh wow, that's good stuff. I'll definitely try and work those in somewhere.

 

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Hey guys, sorry it's taken me a little longer than I expected, but here are my current thoughts on the arrangement of '09:

Currently, the order is

  1. Decadence
  2. Fall and Rise of the Skrall
  3. The Exile's Tale
  4. Secret of Certavus
  5. Glatorian comic 1
  6. Empire of the Skrall 1-3
  7. {a bunch of other stuff}
  8. Empire of the Skrall, chapter 4
  9. {more other stuff}
  10. The Legend Reborn, chapter 4
  11. {everything else}

Here's what I'm thinking of changing it to:

  1. Secret of Certavus (I think I'd prefer to open up with Comic 1, but I'm not sure where else to put this)
  2. Glatorian comic 1
  3. Empire of the Skrall 1-3
  4. The Exile's Tale
  5. {same bunch of other stuff}
  6. Empire of the Skrall 4
  7. Fall and Rise of the Skrall
  8. {same "more other stuff"}
  9. The Legend Reborn, chapter 4
  10. Decadence
  11. {everything else}

This would put The Exile's Tale right after Malum's escape from the Skrall, Fall and Rise of the Skrall right after the chapter that first mentions the Baterra, and Decadence right after Tarix and Vastus agree to join the fight against the Skrall. Please share any feedback you have; I'd really like to know people's thoughts on this before making any changes.

 

Additionally, I've fixed the missing period on page 5 of Book 1, across all versions.

 

Oh, and Planetperson: the clone stamp tool would indeed be super helpful, but sadly I don't have Photoshop. Still, I'll make my best effort to edit out the page numbers. I'll try to have that done ASAP.

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Here's what I'm thinking of changing it to:

  1. Secret of Certavus (I think I'd prefer to open up with Comic 1, but I'm not sure where else to put this)
  2. Glatorian comic 1
  3. Empire of the Skrall 1-3
  4. The Exile's Tale
  5. {same bunch of other stuff}
  6. Empire of the Skrall 4
  7. Fall and Rise of the Skrall
  8. {same "more other stuff"}
  9. The Legend Reborn, chapter 4
  10. Decadence
  11. {everything else}

 

This is so much better. :) 2009 is a tricky one, because as the story progressed more and more, we learned about events further and further back in time. That was true about the story at large scale too. Also, I had exactly the same thought about Secret of Certavus, but I'm not sure where to put it. Since Berix and Gresh are introduced in comic 1, putting Certavus after comic 1 with the caption "Earlier" might work... but the transition from comic 1 to Empire 1 works so well...

 

If you just put something before Certavus so that it's not the very first thing to introduce Bara Magna, that would be great. I thought some of the text from the website might help, but I don't think it flows that well.

 

https://web.archive.org/web/20090311164821/http://bionicle.lego.com:80/en-US/story/mistika/baramagna.aspx

 

Did you include any of the diary entries from Mata Nui's Guide to Bara Magna or Makuta's Guide to the Universe? Mata Nui's first diary entry would be great, since it shows him still traveling through space, which is where 2008 left off.

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This is so much better. :) 2009 is a tricky one, because as the story progressed more and more, we learned about events further and further back in time. That was true about the story at large scale too. Also, I had exactly the same thought about Secret of Certavus, but I'm not sure where to put it. Since Berix and Gresh are introduced in comic 1, putting Certavus after comic 1 with the caption "Earlier" might work... but the transition from comic 1 to Empire 1 works so well...

 

If you just put something before Certavus so that it's not the very first thing to introduce Bara Magna, that would be great. I thought some of the text from the website might help, but I don't think it flows that well.

 

https://web.archive.org/web/20090311164821/http://bionicle.lego.com:80/en-US/story/mistika/baramagna.aspx

 

Did you include any of the diary entries from Mata Nui's Guide to Bara Magna or Makuta's Guide to the Universe? Mata Nui's first diary entry would be great, since it shows him still traveling through space, which is where 2008 left off.

Thanks for the feedback!

 

Even simply putting SoC after Comic 1 isn't ideal, since then the Text-Only version would still begin with SoC... I'm also not sure about how I might edit in an "Earlier..." caption on SoC in a way that looks good (I'd like something like that to practically look like it was originally there, like the "Weeks Ago" I added to All Our Sins Remembered). I'll definitely take a look at those journal entries when I get home. I agree that the text from the website doesn't flow very well, and it doesn't really provide any info that you don't find out naturally through the story.

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I just finished reading the first book (though as part of the complete PDF with all the stories) and found a few errors:

 

Page 8: There's a full stop missing from between "But he still felt uneasy" and "Aside from his name"

Page 12: "These three concepts has given the Matoran a purpose, sometime to strive for always" (should be something)

Page 48: "The legend prophecy six heroes descend..." (It's actually like this is the original text, but it does seem to be a typo, so maybe you'd be interested in correcting it?)

Page 48: The scene with Kapura as been separated into two paragraphs. Not sure if that was the intention, but it seems odd.

Page 56: An entire section of the Po-Koro section of the MNOG walkthrough is missing. It ends at "so it's very hard to miss, and when you" and suddenly begins again at "Take this Carving Tool". In other words, it skips the entire Nui-Jaga battle.

Page 56: On the same page, there's a random "Call me Chronicler" line. I think you may have left it there by accident, as it was a subheading in the walkthrough.

Page 69: "Time for a new plan, he though" (should be thought)

Page 92: Press enter between "Rama sneak-swoop-smash and fly out of reach!" and "Who are you?"

Page 92: Press enter between "Le-Koro Matoran!" and "And who is Matau?"

Page 97: "I am grateful to bid rid of the omnipresent white" (should be "be")

Page 99: "he is telling me what I am to do testing me to see..." should have a comma between "do" and "testing"

Page 101: There's a factual problem here. Vakama talks about the Toa already having acquired the golden Kanohi and being on their way to Kini-Nui, even though in this version of the story, the Toa don't get them until they're already at the Kini-Nui. Might wanna think how to recocnile that.

Page 102: A "-sign is needed before "It seems that dark times have fallen..."

Page 107: After "cut out of the temple walls" there's a full stop, which should be a comma

 

On another note, the combination of the book and MNOG sequences of the Toa Kaita and Manas fight is a bit... akward at times. The problem is the irregular change of perspective. At times it's in first person and present tense, whereas others it's in the past tense. This is fine when these sections are divided, but when they're fully together, it becomes very odd and incoherent. I'm talking about pages 116-119. Also, on page 119, there's a random "He felt his mind slipping away, as if in the moment just before sleep. He closed his eyes..." at the end of a paragraph. It refers to the Toa Kaita splitting up, but that has already happened at that point. If the intention was to refer to Takua, then that's also weird, because the sentence is written in third person, and all Takua scenes so far are in first person.

 

On a positive note, the canon version of the Shadow Toa fight is seamlessly put together, and I enjoyed reading it a lot. I am starting to feel that I like that version more than Hapka's.

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I just finished reading the first book (though as part of the complete PDF with all the stories) and found a few errors:

 

Page 8: There's a full stop missing from between "But he still felt uneasy" and "Aside from his name"

Page 12: "These three concepts has given the Matoran a purpose, sometime to strive for always" (should be something)

Page 48: "The legend prophecy six heroes descend..." (It's actually like this is the original text, but it does seem to be a typo, so maybe you'd be interested in correcting it?)

Page 48: The scene with Kapura as been separated into two paragraphs. Not sure if that was the intention, but it seems odd.

Page 56: An entire section of the Po-Koro section of the MNOG walkthrough is missing. It ends at "so it's very hard to miss, and when you" and suddenly begins again at "Take this Carving Tool". In other words, it skips the entire Nui-Jaga battle.

Page 56: On the same page, there's a random "Call me Chronicler" line. I think you may have left it there by accident, as it was a subheading in the walkthrough.

Page 69: "Time for a new plan, he though" (should be thought)

Page 92: Press enter between "Rama sneak-swoop-smash and fly out of reach!" and "Who are you?"

Page 92: Press enter between "Le-Koro Matoran!" and "And who is Matau?"

Page 97: "I am grateful to bid rid of the omnipresent white" (should be "be")

Page 99: "he is telling me what I am to do testing me to see..." should have a comma between "do" and "testing"

Page 101: There's a factual problem here. Vakama talks about the Toa already having acquired the golden Kanohi and being on their way to Kini-Nui, even though in this version of the story, the Toa don't get them until they're already at the Kini-Nui. Might wanna think how to recocnile that.

Page 102: A "-sign is needed before "It seems that dark times have fallen..."

Page 107: After "cut out of the temple walls" there's a full stop, which should be a comma

 

On another note, the combination of the book and MNOG sequences of the Toa Kaita and Manas fight is a bit... akward at times. The problem is the irregular change of perspective. At times it's in first person and present tense, whereas others it's in the past tense. This is fine when these sections are divided, but when they're fully together, it becomes very odd and incoherent. I'm talking about pages 116-119. Also, on page 119, there's a random "He felt his mind slipping away, as if in the moment just before sleep. He closed his eyes..." at the end of a paragraph. It refers to the Toa Kaita splitting up, but that has already happened at that point. If the intention was to refer to Takua, then that's also weird, because the sentence is written in third person, and all Takua scenes so far are in first person.

 

On a positive note, the canon version of the Shadow Toa fight is seamlessly put together, and I enjoyed reading it a lot. I am starting to feel that I like that version more than Hapka's.

Thanks! I'll get to work on fixing the typos right away. As for the Toa Kaita/Manas fight, fair enough. I wasn't sure of the best way to distinguish when the "visions" of the fight start and end, but I'll take another look at it. EDIT: Okay, everything you mentioned should now be fixed in all versions. For the Kaita/Manas fight, I changed everything Takua sees in his mind to italics, to try and distinguish the transition (I also removed the line that didn't make sense). Let me know what you think of that as a solution. Oh, by the way: I have no idea how that huge section of MNOG got left out. I'm still trying to figure it out.

 

And thanks about the canon Shadow Toa fight :). I did my best to integrate it as seamlessly as possible.

 

By the way, any thoughts on the re-ordering of '09 that Planetperson and I have been discussing? Oh, speaking of which:

 

Did you include any of the diary entries from Mata Nui's Guide to Bara Magna or Makuta's Guide to the Universe? Mata Nui's first diary entry would be great, since it shows him still traveling through space, which is where 2008 left off.

I checked on that yesterday, and unfortunately the first diary entry doesn't actually takes place while Mata Nui is flying through space. He describes that time, but also makes mention of his new body, etc.

Edited by TuragaNuva

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I looked at the Kaita/Manas changes, and that's not what I meant. I meant that within the paragraphs, there are sentences from both the MNOG walkthrough and the book. So, in these paragraphs, there are both sentences in past tense, present tense, first person and third person at the same time, which makes it incoherent. So maybe either edit those paragraphs to only include one style, or divide between the MNOG walkthrough and the book more, so that no paragraph has all those writing styles mixed in.

 

The 2009 reordering plan looks good. I do agree with not putting Secret of Certavus first. The Glatorian comic 1 is a much better introduction to the Bara Magna story, since that's essentially what it was meant to do in the first place.

 

Oh, and since you've been discussing Makuta's Guide to the Universe, what about just using the entries from Makuta's Diary? Either together with Reign of Shadows or at the end of the 2008 story?

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