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Vakama Started the Fire!


Aderia
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Whoever wanted Matau's versions of events from Mystery of Metru Nui up through the beginning of Web of Shadows, I gotchu. Did I mention it's smooshed into the rough syllable-template of We Didn't Start the Fire? here goes nothing.

 

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[intro]
 
[verse 1]
Toa Lhikan, Toa-zapped, now we’re tall, Vahki-slap!
Kanoka-hunt with water-sisters, running from Bordakh!
 
Orkahm hates me, that’s okay, no different from another day
Need that disk, I love the risk, but wish my mask would glow!
 
Chute dare-diving, force-sphere, Toa-hero knows no fear!
Got the disk, I almost died, left Nokama wide-eyed.
 
Reunited, go team! Time to kill the plant thing
Who takes lead, we can’t decide! Vakama thinks he’s wise, guys. 
 
[chorus]
Vakama started the fire
His visions were concerning
Saw the city burning
Vakama started the fire
I don’t think I like him
But I can’t just fight him
 
[verse 2]
On our way to Coliseum, use the disks to flex on Dume
Matoran panic, intercept us, now we’re underground
 
Tunnels full of yuck-dark, put up with Whenua-snark
Team in-fighting, shape-shift, Nokama saves the day!
 
Back to Coliseum now, but we couldn’t wow the crowd
Actually, the opposite, Dume thought we were full of it
 
Half of us are on the run, others now in prison 
Pincher-face gave us chase, talking Kikanalo! 
 
[chorus]
Vakama started the fire
His visions were concerning
Now the city’s burning
Vakama started the fire
I don’t think I like him
But I can’t just fight him
 
[verse 3]
Back together, coma-spheres, Turaga Lhikan, Lohrak
Mask powers, Vahki hive, attempt romantic ride-drive
 
Shadow threatens city’s heart, fake Dume, trouble brews
City gathers, we’re too late, the Makuta in disguise!
 
Mask of Time, sketchy boat, Nidhiki-Krekka-Nivawk-meal
Lhikan dies, Vakama cries, then we make a Toa-seal
 
Tunnel voyage, don’t go left! Mavrah should have let us go
Water monsters, Krahli, no one misses Ahkmou
 
 
[chorus]
Vakama started the fire
Though the city’s burning
He says we’re returning
Vakama started the fire
No, I still don’t like him
But it’s hard to spite him
 
[verse 4]
Island-home, Toa-stones, vines are way too overgrown
Kinda lost, don’t know how, I guess this is my life now. 
 
Into tunnels one more time, adventures really start to rhyme
Rahi says to turn back, warns us about Visorak
 
Monster Rahi, Kratana, talking plant is back again
Nokama down, silver pool, plant turns out to be a fool
 
[chorus]
Vakama started the fire
Though the city’s burning
He says we’re returning
Vakama started the fire
No, I still don’t like him
But it’s hard to spite him
 
[verse 5]
Metru Nui, overrun, what on earth have we done?
Went in overconfident, lots of yelling, arguments
Walked right into Toa-trap, ended up in spider-wrap
Ugly now, hysteria, some arachnophobia 
 
Norik says keep hope, gotta learn how to cope
Don’t throw blame, don’t call names, don't Hordika body shame
Tempers flared up anyway, said some things I shouldn’t say
Haven’t seen Vakama since, hear he’s now the spider prince
 
[chorus]
Vakama started the fire
Though he wasn’t discerning
We were all just learning
Vakama started the fire
With all the strife we gave him
Think we have to save him...
 

Vakama1.png.6b80fbdcaa209c5a2874320ca1988a1d.png

 

(Billy Joel, We Didn't Start the Fire, and screenshots from Bionicle: Legends of Metru Nui)

(inspired partially by this comic, which I love, by HidronNuva and the respective renditions of the song by Leslie Knope and Dwight K. Schrute, among other things)
(This ended on a sadder note than intended, but I ran out of lyrics to parody.) 

  • Like 2

(disclaimer: none of this banner art is original, I just smooshed it together in gimp. Torchic, Matau)
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Those pesky firespitters... 
Library | The Sculptors and the Smelters | The Ternion Review Topic 

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  • 5 months later...

Very funny! I put the original song on right before to get my mind in the rhythm, and you did a good job packing so much detail into so few syllables. I like it.

"You are an absolute in these uncertain times. Your past is forgotten, and your
future is an empty book. You must find your own destiny, my brave adventurer.
"
-- Turaga Nokama

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Click here to visit my library!

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